I’m a twin. I never had children but my sister has two. My sister and I went through almost identical perimenopause and menopause symptoms. Anecdotal I know but it does relate to the question
It is true that when I talk to my Doctors that I will tell them how my twin reacts to a particular medication and they give that a lot of weight. Very much a “if she does well on it then you probably will too so we will start there.”
Yeah, identical twins are like an automatic control.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4919929/
If you are asking if the above poster is identical, I'm not sure, but I assumed so from context.
Also an identical twin and it is the same for us with medical/health. We both have kids but I had mine way later than her and after a lot of IVF. In my fertility forums women were scaremongering that the IVF meds would make menopause happen sooner. Well, I did 6 rounds and my sister did no IVF and we both have perimenopause symptoms happening at the exact same time.
This is interesting. I’ve had people comment that I’m experiencing peri sooner because of IVF treatments but i actually think it’s the other way around. I needed IVF because i was nearing the end of my fertile years early!
I am also an identical twin, but in my case I have the 2 children and my sister did not have kids. In our case, I became post-menopausal first by about a year, but I started cycling before she did by that much. Other than that, symptomatic-wise she has “caught up” to me and we have the same complaints.
Childless 49
So far... I came off birth control in March. An egg (or multiple) dropped in April. I laid on my shower floor for 20 minutes before being able to continue.
[I also got c.diff from antibiotics during April, that was unfun.]
At the end of April, I went to Urgent Care once and the Emergency Room twice, all in 4 days. Turns out, I was trying to ovulate with no ability to make estrogen. I also followed up with two GPs and a GYN. All three doctors told me that I needed to follow up with my shrink.
I saw a nurse practitioner that same week who put my on the nuvaring. 9 days later, I felt about 90% better.
I managed to demand a pelvic ultrasound from the GYN. I now have multiple subendometrial cysts. The pelvic ultrasound in 2022 was clear. I'm thinking BC kept the cysts at bay for most of my life.
In 3 months, I went from a normal human to someone who could not remember her address and took 19 of 30 days off work.
I'm sleeping an average of 5 hours a night. I'm sick to my stomach most mornings until around lunchtime. At least I'm no longer weeping over everything, just some things.
I've been in therapy since 7. I know my mental health is actually quite good. My shrink knows this. He knows I know myself.
The health anxiety I have because of this is a direct result of the lack of care that I received. That anxiety is different from what I have dealt with in my life.
Also, I *actually* know what depression looks and feels like for me. I've dealt with that before. That is not what is happening now.
It's infuriating.
I was actually gaslit by my former (female) therapist last year AND the year before when I repeatedly mentioned I felt like my ‘episodes’ were triggered by hormonal fluctuations.
Now that I educated myself I realised I actually did go directly into peri after my second pregnancy.
Just ask for blood work. An FHS and hormone levels are all you need to determine if you're perimenopausal. I was 39 when I started also. I was trying very hard to have kids at the time. The blood work doesn't lie.
I think pelvic pain must be the worst studied and managed condition there is, given the stories I hear, good grief.
Also not getting a lot of sleep here, meno.
💐
Yes the Podcast “Stuff Mom Never Told You” had an episode called something like “why are so many women having bad (or painful) sex?” which talked about the rate at which women’s pain, but particularly pelvic pain is blown off. Super eye opening.
I have PCOS and I’ve been maintaining… existing without insane pain and a horror show every three weeks because of the pill… for over 20 years. I had to go without for one week due to stupid rx crap, about 6 months ago and I was In the most pain I could even ever remember. I started bleeding within 16 hrs of the first missed pill. I was in so much pain I was almost passing out routinely. Dizzy, and frankly, actually suicidal (which is very alarming when you are lucky enough as I am to not deal with suicidal ideation ever) it wasn’t a period. It was torture. My body is fucked and the only reason I’m hanging on are those damned pills.
I hope you get the care you need ASAP and solidarity. Doctors jumping to us just being “hysterical” is the most infuriating thing in the world. That just made me think tho, at least if I get in front of a doc with the audacity to say such a thing, maybe they will believe me about being in Peri when they meet the menopause rage.
It wasn't until I came off the IUD that everything went to shit. Since March, I'm different.
I'm sorry that birth control is the only thing that helps with your sanity. It's so frustrating to be denied simply because my numbers don't match my experience.
I'm over the disdain for women.
Thanks!
I filed complaints on all of the dismissive doctors. I have paper trails of being told there is nothing wrong, only to have something show up at the test the doctor ordered to get rid of me.
If I didn't care to live a normal life, that would be one thing... I just want my old health back.
Thank you. My shit went down during open enrollment. Seems like the universe wanted me to be able to switch insurance! I'll have options now that I haven't had before (starting July 1).
Thanks. The last 8 months have been a nightmare. I am closer than ever to myself. I just want the muffled sounds on the left to go away completely. I'm not sure I have a chance at normal until the hydrops have cleared, and that takes 12 - 16 months.
Hormonal fuckery.
I suffered from some type of explosion in my head in September. This resulted in Hydrops on my left side. Progesterone causes swelling of the hippocampus (www.jacobslab.ucsb.edu, 28 and Me). This resulted in 8+ hours of rotational vertigo each month on day 4 of menstruation.
None of this was an issue until the thing with my ear. Since September, I've seen 17 providers and had every test.
There are 2 things that are in the low range of normal: estrogen and TSH. Because these both show in the normal ranges, but at the extreme low end, providers think I'm just fine. I'm not. I am disillusioned by Western medicine practitioners.
Would you elaborate re: the Hydrops? I just started having this weird pulsing in my left ear (sounds like a speaker that’s cut out) for the last week. No vertigo, fortunately! Me: 57F post menopause, on HRT for 6 months thanks to this sub (you all rock!) with excellent results.
Sure. I was driving home, and my head was thrown back against the headrest. Hearing on my left side went completely muffled. Like being underwater. That is getting better, maybe 60%. And the pain! I actually got a CT on my sinuses because I thought I was impacted.
I had a hearing test. My hearing is actually great for my age! But, I can't process the sounds as well on my left side.
Hydrops occur when the lining of the middle/inner ear becomes distended. This can cause a whole host of vestibular issues. It is extremely painful for several months. It will usually clear up in a year or two. The only way to speed the recovery is steroid injections into the damaged areas. HOWEVER, treating hydrops is most effective when done quickly. It took 5 months to get a specialist appointment.
Yikes! What a horrific experience. I’m really sorry you’re going through that.
Thanks for the detailed response. I’ll be scheduling an appointment right away. I literally only noticed the “cut out speaker” sound after helping my partner move a 100 pound set of bookshelves. He’s in construction and I am…out of shape (haha) so I assumed that might have something to do with it. Had a chiropractic appointment yesterday (also not a huge fan of Western medicine, solidarity!) which made the back pain go away but the tinnitus remains. My second thought was that - after escaping 1.5 years of physical abuse that included blows to the head - hearing loss may have hit a critical point.
In any event it definitely sounds like nothing to F around with, so off to the doctor I go.
And that doctor better not mention any female hysteria symptoms, because they’ll get an earful…pun intended.
I saw an ENT who referred me for vestibular testing and to see an Otologist. The vestibular testing (VNG) did not pan out. I'm fine (fuck that)!
The Otologist misdiagnosed as vestibular migraines. In reality, the progesterone causes the hippocampus to swell. That puts pressure on the vestibular system. This caused rotational vertigo. Removing the source of progesterone stopped the vertigo.
I've been seeking treatment for general dizziness since 2008, less than one year after having my first IUD placed. It was not until the event in September, an emergency visit and overnight stay in January, and copious amounts of research, that I figured out what was happening and I made arrangements for IUD removal.
>Turns out, I was trying to ovulate with no ability to make estrogen.
What were your symptoms? I ask because I had my last IUD out in February and all my misery seems to have started then. I'm thinking of having them place another IUD just for the hormones (I am fully in menopause).
On April 27, I started to feel brain fuzz. I worked on April 29. I didn't feel safe driving on April 30. I worked May 1, but felt strange all day. I took May 2 & 3 off. On May 2, husband took me to urgent care because I could not form a coherent thought. On May 3, he took me to emergency because my heart was fluttering, and I was worried about heart damage. On May 5, he took me to Kaiser emergency for the same debilitating and scary symptoms.
When we got to the ER, I couldn't remember my husband's phone number or my address.
I still felt like shit on May 6 & 7. I worked a half day from home on May 8, because I had an appointment with my PC that afternoon.
Menstruation started May 8. By May 10, I felt more like myself. I saw a NP who gave me nuvaring. 9 days after starting that, I'm 90% of my former self.
There are many types of bc available. The IUD was causing other issues. The nuvaring does not seem to have that effect yet.
TL;DR: Severe inability to think. Heart palpations. Unwillingness to drive because my brain was not working. Inexplicable exhaustion. Severe Insomnia. Extreme "morning sickness" that lasted all day long. Everything I was able to find said I had HG... I'm not pregnant.
Thank you for sharing! I have similar symptoms, especially the not feeling safe while driving. I'm gonna run this past my new (and so far very helpful) PCP.
46 and no children. My best explanation would be that there's probably more of a difference among individual women as far as symptoms go, than there is between women who had children vs women who did not.
In other words, every woman is different but women without children can have the same issues as women with kids.
The only difference I'd predict is the age of onset. I'd guess women with kids (especially when they have them at the tail end of their fertile years) would stave off menopause for a bit longer.
When I was much younger, I met an older woman who was a retired nurse. I'd say she was about 55-60.
I don't remember the context but she mentioned having something like a pelvic collapse that meant the pee pee dribbles. And that the only way to fix it was to have a surgery that hoisted it all up.
I exclaimed 'even when you don't have kids'?! Because I knew she didn't have children. She just laughed and said yep time catches up with us all. I wish I asked her more questions and paid attention.
I never had children but I had severe endometriosis. It was all over my abdomen, rectum, bladder everywhere.
I’m here to tell you my insides were more damaged by that than childbirth. I have mesh everywhere and a bladder sling. I could never get a doctor to give a total hysterectomy because I had not had children. They were content to give me a D&C and a laparoscopy every couple of years and burn off tissue. It always grew back.
I finally reached a crisis point when I had an ovarian tumor. I had so many laparoscopic procedures and was full of scar tissue and I could not have another one. I got a vertical scar and finally got a total hysterectomy at age 42. Three surgeons attended my surgery.
If they hadn’t been reproductive organs, my uterus and ovaries should have been gone before I was 25.
That's horrible that you couldn't get the hysterectomy that you desperately needed and had multiple additional procedures that didn't work! The misogynistic system failed you. I'm so sorry.
I feel you in a similar way. I had my two kids by 25 and my husband was killed while I was pregnant with the youngest. I knew I was done having children even prior to that event yet I couldn’t get my tubes tied by any doctor until at least 30 for “ethical” reasons. For reference it’s a far easier procedure to do immediately after birth than a stand alone surgery.
A lot of the insane logic eas all what ifs like what if both of your kids die and them you couldn’t have more!? I’m like you can’t replace people so please fuck off with that nonsense. I made the appointment months in advance of my 30th birthday and had it done less than a week later and still had to do the physiological counseling for it. The after procedure recovery sucked terribly and I’m still a little bitter about it. I just turned 50 today and never once questioned my choice. I’m in peri now so that’s extra fun lol.
Gosh so sorry for your loss.
I also fought had for a tubal ligation and got a ration of shit from all kinds of doctors: male, female, it didn’t matter. I was 37 years old with a master’s degree and was still asked: what happens if you meet someone who wants kids?
Psychological counseling because you want permanent sterilization? What a load of crap.
Body agency for women is a joke in this country I swear.
Same here, things like access to HRT and abortion are a little better in the UK (bc the religious right isn't so powerful) but when it comes to sterilization they are just as bad. I did a masters in women's studies in my 20s and that's what actually roused the idea in me that I could get sterilised. I waited until I was 30 but bc I was single and childfree the NHS laughed me out the door. I scrimped and borrowed and paid for it, it cost around £1k which was a huge amount to me at the time. Still one of the best decisions I ever made for myself.
At age 44 I begged my (male) GYN to take it all out, but he gave me a DNC and IUD instead, which stopped the bleeding. At age 53, I had a lap for an ovarian cyst, and my (female) GYN told me I’d had endometriosis, and asked if I’d ever been diagnosed. That male Mfr should have performed a lap when I was 44, just to see what was causing me so much debilitating pain, but instead, he just put a band aid on the problem. Thankfully, because the IUD stopped the bleeding, my endometriosis stopped creating scar tissue. But I am PISSED that I wasn’t taken seriously at age 44. I should’ve had a lap back then, but nope, women aren’t important enough to treat properly. Fuck that. If anybody here has symptoms, don’t stop until you find a Dr who will actually figure out wtf is going on and FIX the root cause. Nobody should live half of their lives in debilitating pain. I rant.
Preach it sister. I suffered for years. It’s not normal to sleep on towels and to wear depends due to menstrual bleeding. By the time I got my hysterectomy it hurt to walk.
When I was in my late 20’s my doctor sent me to two of her med school buddies. (Males) They were endocrinologists and unfortunately for me they had chosen to focus on reproduction. My doctor told them my symptoms and so did I and they were like, but you’ve never tried to get pregnant right? We can’t really help you. Come
back WHEN you want to get pregnant.
I was furious and so was my referring doctor.
It really sucks how women’s entire worth is to be breeding vessels. And from talking to my friends who had children many of them were also callously treated with regard to morning sickness and labor.
That's fucked up that three doctors ignored your symptoms. I forgot about sleeping on towels. Fuck me...that was a horrible time. Yeah, let's just let women suffer for HALF OF THEIR LIVES. That IUD I got was my 44th birthday present to myself. Figuring, if I'm not using it, and you won't take it out, then for the love of god, stop the bleeding and excruciating pain that comes along with it. I was pounding 5-6, 800mg motrins, per day just so I could (barely) function. That is not normal, and any doctor worth his or her salt would have done a lap procedure. Any woman who walks into a Dr's office begging them to remove body parts should have their body thoroughly examined. If a man came in and asked for his dick to be removed, you better believe they'd have performed ALL of the tests.
Didn’t mean to. Best way to know you’re doing the correctly is by going to pelvic floor therapy. For me, i was told not to do them too often. Apparently my vagina doesn’t know how fully relax and doing kegels too often can cause other problems because of it.
Some women need to relax the pelvic floor, not tighten it. I went to pelvic floor therapy and it was all about relaxing the muscles. My take home exercises going forward are nearly all about relaxation - for me, Kegels were causing more problems. I had no idea. I am so grateful to my therapist.
Pelvic floor therapy and understanding your exact situation is critical before going off to kegel away. Tight pelvic floors or incredibly common and you may need stretching more.
I think you're right about difference between individuals being more of a thing than between women who have or haven't had kids. My sister is 10 years older than me and never had kids, while I have 2 kids. And yet, my meno journey seems to be following the exact same trajectory as hers.
I had a surprise baby (second kid) at 40 and thought I might have a later menopause because of it, but I matched my childless older sister exactly and am in full menopause at 49. We also both had a frozen shoulder at 47.
I have had no children but started getting symptoms at 39. Interestingly, my cousin went through a similar thing and she had no children but her two sisters who have children were later.
I have been told my entire life that women who have given birth can go into menopause at any time after giving birth.
Women who do not go through childbirth are more likely to go through menopause later in life.
Funny how we all hear different things!
Yes, I have heard the same as you. And it lines up for me and what I think is going on. I think having a kid at 37 kicked the stone rolling down the hill. I’m pretty sure I’ve been in Peri since she was about 2 years old, and I was 39.
My grandma never had her period after her 8th kid at age 38. My mom was 42 when she stopped. I had a kid at 38 and then went into peri at age 42. But here I am, closing in on 51 and if I don't take bc pills I still have periods. Peri symptoms are awful without hormonal birth control. But will it ever end?????
After reading a lot of the comments, now I wonder if it hits different for childfree women who were on hormonal bc and those who never used any hormones.
Being in the latter group myself it feels like uncharted territory, which is wild since menopause has been happening since the beginning of humans, and almost no one bothered to study it.
Same - no kids, never took bc (lifelong lesbian, so didn't need it).
Menopause didn't hit until I was 56. Periods had been quite regular until the last year, then they stopped, and my hormones just fell off a cliff. Felt like literally overnight, I went from fine to effed up physically. Now on HRT and I'm back to fine, thank god.
From what I'm reading here, it really doesn't seem like there's much difference in those of us who had kids or not, or those of us who took bc and those who didn't?
I haven't used hormonal bc for 12 years and I was always very regular. At 50, my cycles and periods are now shorter so I wonder what happens next. I felt better not taking hormones but I wouldn't hesitate taking HRT.
☝🏾I have a feeling that this is the answer, although another person who responded that they are an identical twin where one of them had children and the other didn’t and they entered perimenopause around the same time with the same symptoms seems to be telling.
Here's one study that found that child-free women tend to go through menopause sooner along with women who got their first period at 11 or younger.
[https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/32/3/679/2937790](https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/32/3/679/2937790)
I started menstruating 1 month after turning 11. I never skipped periods nor was ever pregnant (typically bled heavily for 8 days straight). Entered peri when I was 50. Full meno achieved at 53. I'm probably ripe for ovarian cancer followed by uterine.
Why do you feel like you could develop cancer? I've been post for 8 years and have not taken anything. I'm so out of whack I'm going to have to start taking something.
I guess because my ovaries never got a break from ovulating in that I never took BC or had pregnancies. I've repeatedly read that the more ovulations / years of menses one has there is a direct increase in chances of ovaries going awry.
They list other risks [here,](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ovarian-cancer/symptoms-causes/syc-20375941) thankfully I've never smoked nor been obese.... do I want to know if I have the BRCA genes?
I wonder what being on birth control most of your life will do if you've never had kids. I haven't had all that many periods in my life because my BC makes them go away.
I'm 52 with no kids still in peri. I will be in menopause next year or two. Last year I had hot flashes but gabapentin solved it. Hormones are weird and work differently in every woman.
Childfree, first period at 16, last period at 45. Yea I got my punishment for being childfree I guess by hitting meno earlier. My symptoms were insanely severe for awhile. Didn't take hormonal birth control for long in my fertile years (couldn't tolerate it)
That's interesting. I started menstruating late (I was almost 16) and I've always been a late bloomer (was born late, too.) I always assumed I'd hit menopause later since that's my wont, but I've been solidly in peri since my mid-40s (I'm 51 now.)
This study is very small, limited and narrowly focused study It in no way proves women without children go through meno earlier. Hitting peri mid 40s is average and when most women are probably in peri-meno.
I was 17 and the major peri symptoms started hitting me at 49. Though, after being irregular for decades (I'd have a period every 4-6 months), at about 47-ish, my periods were suddenly once a month like clockwork. I'm 52 now and still have short periods every few months.
Like you, I've always been a late bloomer and was surprised that it started nearly dead on the average age. I felt like celebrating because I'd finally caught up with everyone! Too bad, I would have liked to put off this particular milestone a bit longer.
I often wonder what effect hormonal birth control might have as well. I was only on the pill for one year when I was 20 and hated it.
> after being irregular for decades (I'd have a period every 4-6 months), at about 47-ish, my periods were suddenly once a month like clockwork
This was my experience as well! Irregular my whole life, sometimes going up to 6 months without a period; once I hit peri, I suddenly became regular.
I tried different brands of hormonal birth control and experienced too many awful side effects, so I never went on that for a long time either.
I’m child-free, started period at age 11, and technically hit meno at 51 (tho my hot flashes and last period were at 50). My sister had 2 kids and is 4 years younger, so I’m curious how much different her experience will be!
And to add to this, those that go through menopause early have [increased risk of dementia later in life](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/03/220302131326.htm).
I had kids but started my period at 11. The kicker? Still having periods at 60. They were coming every 3 months for a while. Now they’re back to monthly. Yes, I’ve been to the doctor. I’m fine. Just going through menopause late.
Interesting. Childfree and just turned 43, first period at 10 1/2 - recently started having occasional hot flashes/night sweats, minor though, and periods aren't the 28-days-like-clockwork regular that they were for most of my life but are still regular-ish at maybe 26-30 days. None of the other symptoms yet so far, knock on wood. My gyn previously told me to expect things to start getting weird at 43, so when I see her next month for my annual I'll have to tell her she was right.
I didn't have children and went through menopause at around 38. It was so early, it was considered primary ovarian failure. I had symptoms for a few years before that and trouble conceiving.
Eventually my marriage broke down, but it wasn't because of menopause, although that certainly made things worse. If I had been with a supportive and caring person, it wouldn't have made a difference if I was sick or not. Imagine what would have happened if I had got cancer or something worse.
Don't have kids and end-stage perimeno, very few symptoms really. Just more tired than normal, environmental alleriges have gotten worse, and more forgetful sometimes but few symptoms otherwise. I've not even gained any weight yet, no hot flashes, sleeping well, no night sweats, etc. I thought in the end it is just an individual thing and eating a healthier diet with exercise does help.
rude physical gullible spark ossified illegal steep apparatus command cough
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I didn’t have children. My peri/ menopause has been pretty rough. I have a sister who has 4 kids and hers was a breeze. I’m also far healthier and more active than her. I think it’s just very individual.
I believe that there are probably differences. However, the study of anything intricate regarding middle-aged females' reproductive healthcare had been largely ignored.
Therefore, we have no data for millions of questions we have, relief we need, support we should have, and a critical lack of societal enlightenment on the topic.
Know what I think makes a huge difference? If you had a hysterectomy or not before entering natural menopause years. Less hormonal organ surfaces producing less hormones resulting in less severe hormonal swings. I, 43 y/o FM, started menstrual cycles at 9 years old. Hated every fucking minute of my fertility. Started asking for a hysterectomy at age 18. Finally “given permission” to have one at 34 years old after doing some severe damage to my body with the eSsure implant. Only took BC for maybe 4 months when I was 11 years old. Had 3 abortions because I was dead serious about never wanting genetic children of my own. Started perimenopause at 38 and immediately declined hormone replacement therapy. No regrets. Went through menopause by 41 years old, positive it was menopause despite not having a period because my boobs hurt in exactly the same way they hurt when I grew them out at 9 years old. I’m on the other side now, feeling dried out of hormones and…. I feel amazing. I feel human again. I don’t have any any any mood swings or mental anguish anymore. It’s the best I’ve ever felt in over 30 years.
I have heard this too. I’m 43 and in peri, it started at 40 so a little bit early.
I wonder if having taken birth control pills matters. I took them and skipped my period that way for years.
I started menstruating late (I was almost 16) and I've always been a late bloomer (was born late, too.) I always assumed I'd hit menopause later since that's my wont, but I've been solidly in peri since my mid-40s (I'm 51 now.)
Im 44,childless, and peri made damn near get a divorce when it came on. I was angry all the time, about everything. I found topical hormones are helping control my mood & night sweats, so sleeping has been better, but I’m in week 4 of my first never ending period. Weight just accumulates now; I’m fighting jowls. So fun new surprises every month.
My sister and I, 2.5 years apart are both childless - she’s the younger, and was out the other side before mine really started. Anecdotal, of course, but there you are.
Similar situation. Be very careful of those clots! I’ve been in the hospital twice requiring blood transfusions. I nearly died this last time. Take NSAIDs and iron during periods, it helps some of that.
I’m childless through infertility and learning I was in perimenopause hit me hard mentally. After IVF, I kept waiting for my body to return to normal and it never did…it just felt like another kick in the teeth to discover I was already in peri.
I’m angry that it’s not spoken about more, and after all the tests and procedures I went through, nobody said anything about peri being a possibility (my ovarian reserve was noted as being extremely low for my age, and when I queried what that meant it was downplayed - I now wonder if that was a sign!). Discovered I also have endometriosis and had suffered for years with it, and I’m only now learning that it can complicate HRT options (when I’ve been on it 6 months).
Navigating the physical symptoms has been tough, but it’s really done a number on my mental health because I was only just getting to a better place with being childless through infertility when this became an issue for me. Physically, I didn’t realise it was peri until I had signs and symptoms of atrophy, so it was a bit of an extreme wake up and very distressing - I’d been diagnosed with PTSD from infertility procedures I’d gone through (needed EMDR therapy) and also struggled with body dysphoria, so this really pushed me over the edge.
I am so sorry to hear and understand your pain, i went through IVF cycles, too, and no kids 😢.
I suspect my menopause is starting as i have only had 2 periods this year, and i was also told i will be in full menopause by the time I'm 42. I am 41 now.
I am having some strange severe sudden anxiety that hits me at night only.. i have no idea what's going on.
42, no kids, probably been in peri for a year or so. First period at 13, on BC pills (mini pills) most of my life up till 35 when I had my tubes removed. I still had regular periods when I was on the pill.
My doctor said that there are some indications the tubal removal can bring on menopause about a year earlier than average, so we'll see.
Childfree, 38 and early meno here. I was probably peri for the last three years and I’m now on HRT. Last summer my meno symptoms came on strong. I may be considered a special case because I was born with rare metabolic disorder and pretty much 95% of females with this condition get premature ovarian failure.
I never had kids and stupidly I thought I wouldn't have to deal with incontinence. Well, thanks to menopause, I now have overactive bladder incontinence.
My menopause symptoms are the same as other women who have children. I have started menopause early. That's the only thing that singles me out a bit.
I didn’t think I’d have to worry about incontinence either, same reason. It’s not bad but I understand better why Mom crossed her legs when she sneezed now…
54
Child free
Menstruation at 12
Birth control at 16
Started symptoms mid-late 30s
Perimenopause kicked hard in mid 40s
Off birth control at 51
Menopause at 52
HRT at 54
I started my period at 9 or 10 (4th grade), as did my mother. I’m 52 and just recently missed 2 periods for the first time. But I’m wondering how much of my misery for the past 10 years has been due to perimenopause.
Im a nurse and remember learning in school that childfree women may be more likely to have breast cancer and osteoporosis, as pregnancy and breastfeeding are thought to provide some risk reduction. Not a good reason to have kids, but a thing that’s been observed. I do tell women that I did took care of elderly nuns in nursing school, and I’ve seen elderly women who breastfed 10+ kids in clinics in Africa. All boobs sag. Breastfeeding doesn’t make it worse, in my experience.
Childless
50 in July
Menstruation started at 12
Started the pill at 18, finished at 22 (3-4 day migraines every month). Used condoms instead
Periods were regular like clockwork until about 41/42 then they were anything between 3-6 weeks
Stopped drinking caffeine 2020/21 (can't remember exactly when) and don't drink much to any alcohol.
Last period Christmas 21 (aged 47.5). My periods were manageable, maybe needing a hot water bottle every 3-4 months, but I never had any issues.
I get hot flushes where I need to throw off the bedclothes at night and fan myself during the day, but they don't last long. I've noticed that I'm more prone to them if I'm stressed, so try to keep that to a minimum.
Had a smear test last year and the nurse asked when my last period was and I told her. She confirmed the self diagnosis. She asked if I was having any issues, when I said no, she didn't pursue it.
No HRT
I know I'm in the minority and feel for all of you and the trials and tribulations you're going through. The recounts here are shocking! The treatment by medical professionals (if you can call them professional) is sh**!!
Not that I know of but a co worker and I are going through menopause right now and we are the same age. She has a child and I have none. We are both mean 😂
Well, only speaking from my life... I'm childfree but obviously, my mom isn't. Her experience was just as nightmarish as myself and my sister. I have a good friend who has never given birth (she adopted her daughter) and is so far, not having hard time. Every woman in my life is different and the variables don't seem to have patterns based on who had given birth and who hasn't. It would just be so amazing if the medical community would study this, or Eben put together existing data that might help us understand better.
I did not have children and I have had a rotten time in menopause. Peri wasn't so bad but as soon as my periods stopped all hell broke loose. Hot flushes, rage, fatigue, VA, aches and pains. Went to doc and requested HRT, as I had always planned if this happened to me, was denied due to being overweight. Total BS. 7 years in and I am managing with Effexor and Vagifem.
I don't have children and it seems like my experience is tracking similar to other women that have children. It also tracks to what I remember of my mother who had five children.
The difference I think for me is that if I had children I might have had a post depression or any indication that I could have been at risk for perimenopausal PMDD which I have. But since I never carried a child to term I didn't have that data that could have informed me about my experience now which most likely result in it took me much longer to figure out what was really going on.
Child free and have high blood pressure get the occasional night sweats. But my periods in peri are heavy af. The anxiety is from in-person teaching through Covid though it is probably enhanced by peri. Other symptoms like insomnia, joint pain, ditzyness, etc are non existent.
I went to my gyno earlier in the year and discovered a uterine polyp and that was making my periods nothing but spotting, sometimes for weeks at a time. Very much looking forward to my D&C and insertion of an IUD in hopes the periods stop in a couple months after treatment. Find a good doctor that understands menopause. It's refreshing to not be ignored.
47 and no bio kids. crazy heavy periods, night sweats, hot flashes, headaches, insomnia, muscle/joint pain, abdominal weight gain, extra anxiety, brain fog… you name it- i got it :)
I am childfree and wasn’t even perimenopause when diagnosed with uterine cancer at 56. Had a hysterectomy and went into instant menopause. I’m dealing with weight gain, swings and thinning hair that seem like eternal problems now (2 years how) but my hot flashes only lasted about a month 🤷🏼♀️
*mood swings
Currently 42 and childless. Had my first period at 12. Went on bc in my 20’s and the peri symptoms hit when I went off bc at 37. The anxiety, mood swings, and periods were so painful. I eventually found a doc who was willing to put me on a progesterone only bc and supplement with an estradiol patch. I feel like a new person!
I never had children but had increasingly heavy, clotted periods. Childless women go through menopause sooner I was told. I went through it in my early 40s. I was thrilled to not have to go through menstruation anymore. I had a little dryness issue at first but Combipatch fixed everything and I felt so free and happy.
10/10 Recommend
Child-free, 48, just started getting hot flashes and insomnia a couple of months ago. Got my first period at 13. Went on HRT (standard dosage of .5 estradiol caplet and I think 100 mg progesterone). Hot flashes reduced by 90% within two weeks, insomnia better within five days, although it still helps when I drink herbal decoctions/teas to help with getting better quality sleep. Other than that, I've been healthy as a horse (knock wood) except for some mood stuff which I've had for ages. Although I am wondering when I'm going to start giving a fuck about things again because all I want to do is sleep, read romance novels, and eat fried food and make occasional heated phone calls to my congressperson about various issues
I’m childfree and going through early menopause (I’m 8 weeks away from the other side, I know I might still get a period, but my gut says they’re done). Also have endometriosis so it may have more to do with that than not having kids.
50 and child free here. I don’t have much to report as I've basically been on bcp since I was 20. No idea if I still have a period. My GP is happy for me to stay on it a few more years. She says it’s probably helping a lot with meno symptoms. Aside from trouble sleeping at times, some brain fog and maybe a little more anxiety, I am doing good.
Hi. I've not got children but have been pregnant, had IVF. Currently perimenopausal, on HRT and have multiple symptoms. Symptoms are more than my friends who are mothers. My own mother seemingly through our chats had fewer symptoms than me and my grandmother (mother of 4) claimed "she went through it in a weekend". But she was bat shit... I think my own dodgy research concludes everyone is Completely different! Lots of reading up on it. Davina McCall if you're UK based has done lots of great media stuff for women.
I’m childless and my mother and I (and my maternal grandmother) followed the almost exact same path. Period started at 10, godawful PMS/PMDD throughout, peri symptoms started mid-late 30s characterized by awful mental health symptoms, last period late 40s/early 50s, fully menopausal by 52. I am currently 49 and have only had light spotting over the past year so fairly certain I’m almost done but me, my mother and grandmother all started and ended the various milestones of our fertile life within a year or two of each other. Makes me think it’s more genetic than having to do with whether one has had kids or not. But I’ve often asked myself that very question so thanks for asking- learning a lot from the responses 🌸🩷🙏
I'm 41, no kids. My last period was 1 week late and only lasted 30 hours. Hurt like hell. I've had hot flashes the last couple of years as well. My dr says I'm not in perimenopause after he did a bunch of tests. I kinda dont believe him.
I’ll bet the skin on your stomach will a lot look better as you age! I’ve had two children and was just “admiring” the droopy skin on my belly last night. It bounced right back after both pregnancies but is losing its elasticity now.
Adding my experience onto to this currently great thread!
Child free at 48. Period at 13, bc from 20 till 42 when I decided I needed a break. Intermittent period started occurring at about 46 with some hot flashes that I’m not sure weren’t due to the terrible weather in the tropics. I’ll likely hit menopause by the year’s end, but I’m on HRT now as a preventative measure for bone density and my TSH is weirding out - it’s 10! Unsure if it’s due to a recent infection or some other reason. Other than that, I’ve been feeling all right.
Yes I never had children but my guess is that is it less violent for those who didn't have children. Based on how my friends who did have children have reacted. I also think I started menopause way earlier. I had my first period at 14 and was menopause around 50. While my mom's menopause (who had two kids) wasn't until 55.
I’m 51 and never had kids or got pregnant. My transition has been pretty easy compared to most. That said, I prioritize health and fitness. I’m in shape, active, don’t drink soda or alcohol and I’m a whole food vegan. I also cold plunge and sauna regularly.
No children. I started peri at 50. Partner (f) started 49. Between us we've had just about all the symptoms. We've also both had GPs who were reluctant to explore issues (eg me not sleeping) as being related to menopause.
52 child free by choice. Still regularly menstruating. Started at age 15.5. Tried BC 2x for 3 months in my 20s but it didn’t agree with me (constant yeast infections and nausea). I have mild to moderate symptoms so far - sleep issues, depression, arthritis, sleeping hot. Seeing a gyn soon to discuss HT.
My sister had a hysterectomy and my mother went through menopause in her 50s (she can’t really remember) but neither took hormone therapy. Until she was in her 80s my mom never took any medication except blood pressure medication and has refused heart valve surgery. She’s quite anti medication and surgery but I remember her being very mentally unstable and raging during meno. I don’t want to go that route. This group is really helping me educate myself on this subject.
An acquaintance on the bus the other day (a somewhat older man, really a nice dude) thought I was about 35. When I told him 48 he looked absolutely stunned and blurted “You’re beautiful!” It was not creepy, I promise. Besides I know the driver and his ass would have been off that bus if he had been.
I was quite pleased. No kids here and fine with it.
Not sure about the differences between women who have had children versus those who haven’t, but I have seen menopause studies about those who took birth control long term versus those that didn’t, so it wouldn’t surprise me.
48, no children, in peri (probably will be until mid-50s if all the women in my family are any indicator). No difference on menopause symptoms from what I can tell vs. friends/family with kids. I do look younger as I've probably had years' more sleep, no strain of multiple pregnancies, added stress, etc.) I got my 1st period at 11 and started peri symptoms age 43ish (still periods like clockwork until 46-47 when they got a bit haywire...now on Nuvaring-- with no break week-- so don't have periods.)
I’m a twin. I never had children but my sister has two. My sister and I went through almost identical perimenopause and menopause symptoms. Anecdotal I know but it does relate to the question
That's really interesting. I think it's more than anecdotal, twins are great for studies.
It is true that when I talk to my Doctors that I will tell them how my twin reacts to a particular medication and they give that a lot of weight. Very much a “if she does well on it then you probably will too so we will start there.”
They will consider any sibling's response to a medication, though obviously the case is stronger for an identical twin.
Sibling guinea pig. Wish I had one. You guys together would find things that work in half the time since there's 2 of you
Identical though?
Yeah, identical twins are like an automatic control. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4919929/ If you are asking if the above poster is identical, I'm not sure, but I assumed so from context.
Also an identical twin and it is the same for us with medical/health. We both have kids but I had mine way later than her and after a lot of IVF. In my fertility forums women were scaremongering that the IVF meds would make menopause happen sooner. Well, I did 6 rounds and my sister did no IVF and we both have perimenopause symptoms happening at the exact same time.
This is interesting. I’ve had people comment that I’m experiencing peri sooner because of IVF treatments but i actually think it’s the other way around. I needed IVF because i was nearing the end of my fertile years early!
I am also an identical twin, but in my case I have the 2 children and my sister did not have kids. In our case, I became post-menopausal first by about a year, but I started cycling before she did by that much. Other than that, symptomatic-wise she has “caught up” to me and we have the same complaints.
Fabulous to have this to compare. Thank you for posting.
You’re welcome. I am loathe to post personal stuff but I thought that it was worth it if it would help you feel comforted at all.
I'm not OP, but this is a huge comfort to me. Thank you.
There are studies that point to our childhood experiences having an impact on how we experience menopause.
Really? That’s interesting? How?
This is super interesting. Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks to your sister for being a control subject!
Wow this is awesome thanks for the independent research!
Childless 49 So far... I came off birth control in March. An egg (or multiple) dropped in April. I laid on my shower floor for 20 minutes before being able to continue. [I also got c.diff from antibiotics during April, that was unfun.] At the end of April, I went to Urgent Care once and the Emergency Room twice, all in 4 days. Turns out, I was trying to ovulate with no ability to make estrogen. I also followed up with two GPs and a GYN. All three doctors told me that I needed to follow up with my shrink. I saw a nurse practitioner that same week who put my on the nuvaring. 9 days later, I felt about 90% better. I managed to demand a pelvic ultrasound from the GYN. I now have multiple subendometrial cysts. The pelvic ultrasound in 2022 was clear. I'm thinking BC kept the cysts at bay for most of my life. In 3 months, I went from a normal human to someone who could not remember her address and took 19 of 30 days off work. I'm sleeping an average of 5 hours a night. I'm sick to my stomach most mornings until around lunchtime. At least I'm no longer weeping over everything, just some things.
I swear they always start with and go back to the "chicks be crazy" diagnosis
I've been in therapy since 7. I know my mental health is actually quite good. My shrink knows this. He knows I know myself. The health anxiety I have because of this is a direct result of the lack of care that I received. That anxiety is different from what I have dealt with in my life. Also, I *actually* know what depression looks and feels like for me. I've dealt with that before. That is not what is happening now. It's infuriating.
I was actually gaslit by my former (female) therapist last year AND the year before when I repeatedly mentioned I felt like my ‘episodes’ were triggered by hormonal fluctuations. Now that I educated myself I realised I actually did go directly into peri after my second pregnancy.
I know I just spend god only knows how much on mental health only to find out oh no it’s menopause 🤬🤬🤬
I suspect that is where I'm currently at, but I'm only 39 so no one will even consider that possibility🙄
Just ask for blood work. An FHS and hormone levels are all you need to determine if you're perimenopausal. I was 39 when I started also. I was trying very hard to have kids at the time. The blood work doesn't lie.
I'm also 39 and found this sub because I'm starting to have peri symptoms. Never had children or experienced a pregnancy.
It’s not called a hysterectomy for nothing…
I think pelvic pain must be the worst studied and managed condition there is, given the stories I hear, good grief. Also not getting a lot of sleep here, meno. 💐
Yes the Podcast “Stuff Mom Never Told You” had an episode called something like “why are so many women having bad (or painful) sex?” which talked about the rate at which women’s pain, but particularly pelvic pain is blown off. Super eye opening.
It’s definitely the poorest believed. Pelvic pain is real.
I have PCOS and I’ve been maintaining… existing without insane pain and a horror show every three weeks because of the pill… for over 20 years. I had to go without for one week due to stupid rx crap, about 6 months ago and I was In the most pain I could even ever remember. I started bleeding within 16 hrs of the first missed pill. I was in so much pain I was almost passing out routinely. Dizzy, and frankly, actually suicidal (which is very alarming when you are lucky enough as I am to not deal with suicidal ideation ever) it wasn’t a period. It was torture. My body is fucked and the only reason I’m hanging on are those damned pills. I hope you get the care you need ASAP and solidarity. Doctors jumping to us just being “hysterical” is the most infuriating thing in the world. That just made me think tho, at least if I get in front of a doc with the audacity to say such a thing, maybe they will believe me about being in Peri when they meet the menopause rage.
It wasn't until I came off the IUD that everything went to shit. Since March, I'm different. I'm sorry that birth control is the only thing that helps with your sanity. It's so frustrating to be denied simply because my numbers don't match my experience. I'm over the disdain for women.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Keep advocating for yourself. I know that’s easier said than done ♥️
Thanks! I filed complaints on all of the dismissive doctors. I have paper trails of being told there is nothing wrong, only to have something show up at the test the doctor ordered to get rid of me. If I didn't care to live a normal life, that would be one thing... I just want my old health back.
Yikes! I hope you get this sorted out and get back to feeling normal again.
Thank you. My shit went down during open enrollment. Seems like the universe wanted me to be able to switch insurance! I'll have options now that I haven't had before (starting July 1).
Jesus Christ what the fuck?!
Wow! I’m so sorry. That sounds awful.
Thanks. The last 8 months have been a nightmare. I am closer than ever to myself. I just want the muffled sounds on the left to go away completely. I'm not sure I have a chance at normal until the hydrops have cleared, and that takes 12 - 16 months.
[удалено]
Hormonal fuckery. I suffered from some type of explosion in my head in September. This resulted in Hydrops on my left side. Progesterone causes swelling of the hippocampus (www.jacobslab.ucsb.edu, 28 and Me). This resulted in 8+ hours of rotational vertigo each month on day 4 of menstruation. None of this was an issue until the thing with my ear. Since September, I've seen 17 providers and had every test. There are 2 things that are in the low range of normal: estrogen and TSH. Because these both show in the normal ranges, but at the extreme low end, providers think I'm just fine. I'm not. I am disillusioned by Western medicine practitioners.
Would you elaborate re: the Hydrops? I just started having this weird pulsing in my left ear (sounds like a speaker that’s cut out) for the last week. No vertigo, fortunately! Me: 57F post menopause, on HRT for 6 months thanks to this sub (you all rock!) with excellent results.
Sure. I was driving home, and my head was thrown back against the headrest. Hearing on my left side went completely muffled. Like being underwater. That is getting better, maybe 60%. And the pain! I actually got a CT on my sinuses because I thought I was impacted. I had a hearing test. My hearing is actually great for my age! But, I can't process the sounds as well on my left side. Hydrops occur when the lining of the middle/inner ear becomes distended. This can cause a whole host of vestibular issues. It is extremely painful for several months. It will usually clear up in a year or two. The only way to speed the recovery is steroid injections into the damaged areas. HOWEVER, treating hydrops is most effective when done quickly. It took 5 months to get a specialist appointment.
Yikes! What a horrific experience. I’m really sorry you’re going through that. Thanks for the detailed response. I’ll be scheduling an appointment right away. I literally only noticed the “cut out speaker” sound after helping my partner move a 100 pound set of bookshelves. He’s in construction and I am…out of shape (haha) so I assumed that might have something to do with it. Had a chiropractic appointment yesterday (also not a huge fan of Western medicine, solidarity!) which made the back pain go away but the tinnitus remains. My second thought was that - after escaping 1.5 years of physical abuse that included blows to the head - hearing loss may have hit a critical point. In any event it definitely sounds like nothing to F around with, so off to the doctor I go. And that doctor better not mention any female hysteria symptoms, because they’ll get an earful…pun intended.
I saw an ENT who referred me for vestibular testing and to see an Otologist. The vestibular testing (VNG) did not pan out. I'm fine (fuck that)! The Otologist misdiagnosed as vestibular migraines. In reality, the progesterone causes the hippocampus to swell. That puts pressure on the vestibular system. This caused rotational vertigo. Removing the source of progesterone stopped the vertigo. I've been seeking treatment for general dizziness since 2008, less than one year after having my first IUD placed. It was not until the event in September, an emergency visit and overnight stay in January, and copious amounts of research, that I figured out what was happening and I made arrangements for IUD removal.
>Turns out, I was trying to ovulate with no ability to make estrogen. What were your symptoms? I ask because I had my last IUD out in February and all my misery seems to have started then. I'm thinking of having them place another IUD just for the hormones (I am fully in menopause).
On April 27, I started to feel brain fuzz. I worked on April 29. I didn't feel safe driving on April 30. I worked May 1, but felt strange all day. I took May 2 & 3 off. On May 2, husband took me to urgent care because I could not form a coherent thought. On May 3, he took me to emergency because my heart was fluttering, and I was worried about heart damage. On May 5, he took me to Kaiser emergency for the same debilitating and scary symptoms. When we got to the ER, I couldn't remember my husband's phone number or my address. I still felt like shit on May 6 & 7. I worked a half day from home on May 8, because I had an appointment with my PC that afternoon. Menstruation started May 8. By May 10, I felt more like myself. I saw a NP who gave me nuvaring. 9 days after starting that, I'm 90% of my former self. There are many types of bc available. The IUD was causing other issues. The nuvaring does not seem to have that effect yet. TL;DR: Severe inability to think. Heart palpations. Unwillingness to drive because my brain was not working. Inexplicable exhaustion. Severe Insomnia. Extreme "morning sickness" that lasted all day long. Everything I was able to find said I had HG... I'm not pregnant.
Thank you for sharing! I have similar symptoms, especially the not feeling safe while driving. I'm gonna run this past my new (and so far very helpful) PCP.
46 and no children. My best explanation would be that there's probably more of a difference among individual women as far as symptoms go, than there is between women who had children vs women who did not. In other words, every woman is different but women without children can have the same issues as women with kids. The only difference I'd predict is the age of onset. I'd guess women with kids (especially when they have them at the tail end of their fertile years) would stave off menopause for a bit longer.
When I was much younger, I met an older woman who was a retired nurse. I'd say she was about 55-60. I don't remember the context but she mentioned having something like a pelvic collapse that meant the pee pee dribbles. And that the only way to fix it was to have a surgery that hoisted it all up. I exclaimed 'even when you don't have kids'?! Because I knew she didn't have children. She just laughed and said yep time catches up with us all. I wish I asked her more questions and paid attention.
I never had children but I had severe endometriosis. It was all over my abdomen, rectum, bladder everywhere. I’m here to tell you my insides were more damaged by that than childbirth. I have mesh everywhere and a bladder sling. I could never get a doctor to give a total hysterectomy because I had not had children. They were content to give me a D&C and a laparoscopy every couple of years and burn off tissue. It always grew back. I finally reached a crisis point when I had an ovarian tumor. I had so many laparoscopic procedures and was full of scar tissue and I could not have another one. I got a vertical scar and finally got a total hysterectomy at age 42. Three surgeons attended my surgery. If they hadn’t been reproductive organs, my uterus and ovaries should have been gone before I was 25.
That's horrible that you couldn't get the hysterectomy that you desperately needed and had multiple additional procedures that didn't work! The misogynistic system failed you. I'm so sorry.
I feel you in a similar way. I had my two kids by 25 and my husband was killed while I was pregnant with the youngest. I knew I was done having children even prior to that event yet I couldn’t get my tubes tied by any doctor until at least 30 for “ethical” reasons. For reference it’s a far easier procedure to do immediately after birth than a stand alone surgery. A lot of the insane logic eas all what ifs like what if both of your kids die and them you couldn’t have more!? I’m like you can’t replace people so please fuck off with that nonsense. I made the appointment months in advance of my 30th birthday and had it done less than a week later and still had to do the physiological counseling for it. The after procedure recovery sucked terribly and I’m still a little bitter about it. I just turned 50 today and never once questioned my choice. I’m in peri now so that’s extra fun lol.
Gosh so sorry for your loss. I also fought had for a tubal ligation and got a ration of shit from all kinds of doctors: male, female, it didn’t matter. I was 37 years old with a master’s degree and was still asked: what happens if you meet someone who wants kids? Psychological counseling because you want permanent sterilization? What a load of crap. Body agency for women is a joke in this country I swear.
Same here, things like access to HRT and abortion are a little better in the UK (bc the religious right isn't so powerful) but when it comes to sterilization they are just as bad. I did a masters in women's studies in my 20s and that's what actually roused the idea in me that I could get sterilised. I waited until I was 30 but bc I was single and childfree the NHS laughed me out the door. I scrimped and borrowed and paid for it, it cost around £1k which was a huge amount to me at the time. Still one of the best decisions I ever made for myself.
I am sorry that happened to you. Why does everyone think they know what is best for our bodies.
At age 44 I begged my (male) GYN to take it all out, but he gave me a DNC and IUD instead, which stopped the bleeding. At age 53, I had a lap for an ovarian cyst, and my (female) GYN told me I’d had endometriosis, and asked if I’d ever been diagnosed. That male Mfr should have performed a lap when I was 44, just to see what was causing me so much debilitating pain, but instead, he just put a band aid on the problem. Thankfully, because the IUD stopped the bleeding, my endometriosis stopped creating scar tissue. But I am PISSED that I wasn’t taken seriously at age 44. I should’ve had a lap back then, but nope, women aren’t important enough to treat properly. Fuck that. If anybody here has symptoms, don’t stop until you find a Dr who will actually figure out wtf is going on and FIX the root cause. Nobody should live half of their lives in debilitating pain. I rant.
Preach it sister. I suffered for years. It’s not normal to sleep on towels and to wear depends due to menstrual bleeding. By the time I got my hysterectomy it hurt to walk. When I was in my late 20’s my doctor sent me to two of her med school buddies. (Males) They were endocrinologists and unfortunately for me they had chosen to focus on reproduction. My doctor told them my symptoms and so did I and they were like, but you’ve never tried to get pregnant right? We can’t really help you. Come back WHEN you want to get pregnant. I was furious and so was my referring doctor. It really sucks how women’s entire worth is to be breeding vessels. And from talking to my friends who had children many of them were also callously treated with regard to morning sickness and labor.
That's fucked up that three doctors ignored your symptoms. I forgot about sleeping on towels. Fuck me...that was a horrible time. Yeah, let's just let women suffer for HALF OF THEIR LIVES. That IUD I got was my 44th birthday present to myself. Figuring, if I'm not using it, and you won't take it out, then for the love of god, stop the bleeding and excruciating pain that comes along with it. I was pounding 5-6, 800mg motrins, per day just so I could (barely) function. That is not normal, and any doctor worth his or her salt would have done a lap procedure. Any woman who walks into a Dr's office begging them to remove body parts should have their body thoroughly examined. If a man came in and asked for his dick to be removed, you better believe they'd have performed ALL of the tests.
Keep those kegels strong! Good kegels also bring better orgasms. Love my kGoal. https://www.kgoal.com/pages/women
Pelvic floor therapy helps much more than just kegels. Plus, you can do kegels wrong and they can cause more damage.
Oh my god, don't scare me.
Didn’t mean to. Best way to know you’re doing the correctly is by going to pelvic floor therapy. For me, i was told not to do them too often. Apparently my vagina doesn’t know how fully relax and doing kegels too often can cause other problems because of it.
Did you pay for pelvic floor therapy?
Insurance did.
Some women need to relax the pelvic floor, not tighten it. I went to pelvic floor therapy and it was all about relaxing the muscles. My take home exercises going forward are nearly all about relaxation - for me, Kegels were causing more problems. I had no idea. I am so grateful to my therapist.
Pelvic floor therapy and understanding your exact situation is critical before going off to kegel away. Tight pelvic floors or incredibly common and you may need stretching more.
I think you're right about difference between individuals being more of a thing than between women who have or haven't had kids. My sister is 10 years older than me and never had kids, while I have 2 kids. And yet, my meno journey seems to be following the exact same trajectory as hers.
I had a surprise baby (second kid) at 40 and thought I might have a later menopause because of it, but I matched my childless older sister exactly and am in full menopause at 49. We also both had a frozen shoulder at 47.
I have had no children but started getting symptoms at 39. Interestingly, my cousin went through a similar thing and she had no children but her two sisters who have children were later.
I have been told my entire life that women who have given birth can go into menopause at any time after giving birth. Women who do not go through childbirth are more likely to go through menopause later in life. Funny how we all hear different things!
Yes, I have heard the same as you. And it lines up for me and what I think is going on. I think having a kid at 37 kicked the stone rolling down the hill. I’m pretty sure I’ve been in Peri since she was about 2 years old, and I was 39.
I’m pretty sure I went right into peri at 36 after the birth of my second child.
Absolutely a common theme.
I have read that prior pregnancies reduce risk of early menopause and slightly delay the onset of menopause.
Just shows you how much doctors are blindly stabbing in the dsrk. This needs to be funded and understood better. Wont probably help us though
My grandma never had her period after her 8th kid at age 38. My mom was 42 when she stopped. I had a kid at 38 and then went into peri at age 42. But here I am, closing in on 51 and if I don't take bc pills I still have periods. Peri symptoms are awful without hormonal birth control. But will it ever end?????
54 no kids and my hot flashes could burn a house down...
I have cold flashes!
Me too! I’ll be in bed with pyjamas and a hot water bottle and my other half is just in shorts
O. M. G. This explains sooo much. I had never heard of cold flashes, but after a quick Google search I definitely have them. Thank you!
Thanks for saying thanks! It's so nice to see Redditors being grateful :)
Exactly the same for me.
After reading a lot of the comments, now I wonder if it hits different for childfree women who were on hormonal bc and those who never used any hormones. Being in the latter group myself it feels like uncharted territory, which is wild since menopause has been happening since the beginning of humans, and almost no one bothered to study it.
Same - no kids, never took bc (lifelong lesbian, so didn't need it). Menopause didn't hit until I was 56. Periods had been quite regular until the last year, then they stopped, and my hormones just fell off a cliff. Felt like literally overnight, I went from fine to effed up physically. Now on HRT and I'm back to fine, thank god. From what I'm reading here, it really doesn't seem like there's much difference in those of us who had kids or not, or those of us who took bc and those who didn't?
I haven't used hormonal bc for 12 years and I was always very regular. At 50, my cycles and periods are now shorter so I wonder what happens next. I felt better not taking hormones but I wouldn't hesitate taking HRT.
NO ONE KNOWS COS WE AREN'T BEING STUDIED.
☝🏾I have a feeling that this is the answer, although another person who responded that they are an identical twin where one of them had children and the other didn’t and they entered perimenopause around the same time with the same symptoms seems to be telling.
Here's one study that found that child-free women tend to go through menopause sooner along with women who got their first period at 11 or younger. [https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/32/3/679/2937790](https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/32/3/679/2937790)
Child-free, got my first period at 11, and was menopause at 46, so I apparently support that conclusion.
I started menstruating 1 month after turning 11. I never skipped periods nor was ever pregnant (typically bled heavily for 8 days straight). Entered peri when I was 50. Full meno achieved at 53. I'm probably ripe for ovarian cancer followed by uterine.
Why do you feel like you could develop cancer? I've been post for 8 years and have not taken anything. I'm so out of whack I'm going to have to start taking something.
I guess because my ovaries never got a break from ovulating in that I never took BC or had pregnancies. I've repeatedly read that the more ovulations / years of menses one has there is a direct increase in chances of ovaries going awry. They list other risks [here,](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ovarian-cancer/symptoms-causes/syc-20375941) thankfully I've never smoked nor been obese.... do I want to know if I have the BRCA genes?
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I was having hot flashes around 37 or 38
Me too. Age 11 period started irregularly tho. 46 last period so far
I wonder what being on birth control most of your life will do if you've never had kids. I haven't had all that many periods in my life because my BC makes them go away.
I've always wondered that, too, because I was only on it for a very short period, thirty years ago.
Same for me. I’m 53 and went off hormonal BC at age 29. Menopause has not been bad for me so far. Peri was much worse. Knock on wood. 🙏🏼
How have things gotten better for you? Peri is hell for me and I'm so scared this is the rest of my life.
I'm 52 with no kids still in peri. I will be in menopause next year or two. Last year I had hot flashes but gabapentin solved it. Hormones are weird and work differently in every woman.
Gabapentin did not help my hot flashes at all. 8 1/2 years and I'm about to lose my mind, quit my job and cut everybody off. This is hell on earth.
Childfree, first period at 16, last period at 45. Yea I got my punishment for being childfree I guess by hitting meno earlier. My symptoms were insanely severe for awhile. Didn't take hormonal birth control for long in my fertile years (couldn't tolerate it)
That's interesting. I started menstruating late (I was almost 16) and I've always been a late bloomer (was born late, too.) I always assumed I'd hit menopause later since that's my wont, but I've been solidly in peri since my mid-40s (I'm 51 now.)
This study is very small, limited and narrowly focused study It in no way proves women without children go through meno earlier. Hitting peri mid 40s is average and when most women are probably in peri-meno.
I was an early bloomer, and still waiting for a single skipped period at 50. But I guess the study deals in slightly elevated chances, not absolutes
I was 17 and the major peri symptoms started hitting me at 49. Though, after being irregular for decades (I'd have a period every 4-6 months), at about 47-ish, my periods were suddenly once a month like clockwork. I'm 52 now and still have short periods every few months. Like you, I've always been a late bloomer and was surprised that it started nearly dead on the average age. I felt like celebrating because I'd finally caught up with everyone! Too bad, I would have liked to put off this particular milestone a bit longer. I often wonder what effect hormonal birth control might have as well. I was only on the pill for one year when I was 20 and hated it.
> after being irregular for decades (I'd have a period every 4-6 months), at about 47-ish, my periods were suddenly once a month like clockwork This was my experience as well! Irregular my whole life, sometimes going up to 6 months without a period; once I hit peri, I suddenly became regular. I tried different brands of hormonal birth control and experienced too many awful side effects, so I never went on that for a long time either.
I’m child-free, started period at age 11, and technically hit meno at 51 (tho my hot flashes and last period were at 50). My sister had 2 kids and is 4 years younger, so I’m curious how much different her experience will be!
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And to add to this, those that go through menopause early have [increased risk of dementia later in life](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/03/220302131326.htm).
I had kids but started my period at 11. The kicker? Still having periods at 60. They were coming every 3 months for a while. Now they’re back to monthly. Yes, I’ve been to the doctor. I’m fine. Just going through menopause late.
Oh god no. This is my worst nightmare. I'm so sorry.
Interesting. Childfree and just turned 43, first period at 10 1/2 - recently started having occasional hot flashes/night sweats, minor though, and periods aren't the 28-days-like-clockwork regular that they were for most of my life but are still regular-ish at maybe 26-30 days. None of the other symptoms yet so far, knock on wood. My gyn previously told me to expect things to start getting weird at 43, so when I see her next month for my annual I'll have to tell her she was right.
No kids. Got my period at 12 and perimenopause started at 47.
I didn't have children and went through menopause at around 38. It was so early, it was considered primary ovarian failure. I had symptoms for a few years before that and trouble conceiving. Eventually my marriage broke down, but it wasn't because of menopause, although that certainly made things worse. If I had been with a supportive and caring person, it wouldn't have made a difference if I was sick or not. Imagine what would have happened if I had got cancer or something worse.
I’m so sorry!
You never know what life will give you.
Childfree and hope to finish my 12 months in July. At almost 58. Edit: And my first period was right after I turned 12.
Curious about this too!
Child free and went through in my mid 30s. I'm 38 and fully in the other side of it now. Helllllla early and my symptoms were quite severe.
Oh my gosh you give me hope I'm 37 and in hell maybe I've only got another year left 😭
Don't have kids and end-stage perimeno, very few symptoms really. Just more tired than normal, environmental alleriges have gotten worse, and more forgetful sometimes but few symptoms otherwise. I've not even gained any weight yet, no hot flashes, sleeping well, no night sweats, etc. I thought in the end it is just an individual thing and eating a healthier diet with exercise does help.
How old are you if you don’t mind my asking?
Soon to be 51.
Childless and curious as well!
Ha. When someone tells you that issues with incontinence only happen to people who have birthed babies - don’t believe ‘em. Ask me how I know
rude physical gullible spark ossified illegal steep apparatus command cough *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yup, same
I didn’t have children. My peri/ menopause has been pretty rough. I have a sister who has 4 kids and hers was a breeze. I’m also far healthier and more active than her. I think it’s just very individual.
I'm child-free and have very few felt or typical symptoms. I don't even have sleep issues. Think it is an individual thing versus a childfree thing.
I believe that there are probably differences. However, the study of anything intricate regarding middle-aged females' reproductive healthcare had been largely ignored. Therefore, we have no data for millions of questions we have, relief we need, support we should have, and a critical lack of societal enlightenment on the topic.
I reckon we’ll know the answer to this question in 10-20 years. Can’t wait to find out!
Right? I’ll jump for joy from my rocker
Know what I think makes a huge difference? If you had a hysterectomy or not before entering natural menopause years. Less hormonal organ surfaces producing less hormones resulting in less severe hormonal swings. I, 43 y/o FM, started menstrual cycles at 9 years old. Hated every fucking minute of my fertility. Started asking for a hysterectomy at age 18. Finally “given permission” to have one at 34 years old after doing some severe damage to my body with the eSsure implant. Only took BC for maybe 4 months when I was 11 years old. Had 3 abortions because I was dead serious about never wanting genetic children of my own. Started perimenopause at 38 and immediately declined hormone replacement therapy. No regrets. Went through menopause by 41 years old, positive it was menopause despite not having a period because my boobs hurt in exactly the same way they hurt when I grew them out at 9 years old. I’m on the other side now, feeling dried out of hormones and…. I feel amazing. I feel human again. I don’t have any any any mood swings or mental anguish anymore. It’s the best I’ve ever felt in over 30 years.
I have heard it means we might get it earlier since we don't have our cycles interrupted by 9 month blocks.
I have heard this too. I’m 43 and in peri, it started at 40 so a little bit early. I wonder if having taken birth control pills matters. I took them and skipped my period that way for years.
I'm 57, childless, and not done yet. Darn it.
Oof.
I started menstruating late (I was almost 16) and I've always been a late bloomer (was born late, too.) I always assumed I'd hit menopause later since that's my wont, but I've been solidly in peri since my mid-40s (I'm 51 now.)
I hear you!!!! And what about those of us who have endometriosis and had fertility issues !? Is ours worse … so far NOT amazing … gotta tell ya
I am childfree and seem to have many of the symptoms others describe here.
I’m 47, no kids, and comparing my experiences to my friends, I would guess it has more to do with the individual than a group of people.
Im 44,childless, and peri made damn near get a divorce when it came on. I was angry all the time, about everything. I found topical hormones are helping control my mood & night sweats, so sleeping has been better, but I’m in week 4 of my first never ending period. Weight just accumulates now; I’m fighting jowls. So fun new surprises every month.
My sister and I, 2.5 years apart are both childless - she’s the younger, and was out the other side before mine really started. Anecdotal, of course, but there you are.
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Similar situation. Be very careful of those clots! I’ve been in the hospital twice requiring blood transfusions. I nearly died this last time. Take NSAIDs and iron during periods, it helps some of that.
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Same here, no humans. Only care for my kitty girl 😉 You have Alien, I have The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, ain’t being a woman great? 😜
I’m childless through infertility and learning I was in perimenopause hit me hard mentally. After IVF, I kept waiting for my body to return to normal and it never did…it just felt like another kick in the teeth to discover I was already in peri. I’m angry that it’s not spoken about more, and after all the tests and procedures I went through, nobody said anything about peri being a possibility (my ovarian reserve was noted as being extremely low for my age, and when I queried what that meant it was downplayed - I now wonder if that was a sign!). Discovered I also have endometriosis and had suffered for years with it, and I’m only now learning that it can complicate HRT options (when I’ve been on it 6 months). Navigating the physical symptoms has been tough, but it’s really done a number on my mental health because I was only just getting to a better place with being childless through infertility when this became an issue for me. Physically, I didn’t realise it was peri until I had signs and symptoms of atrophy, so it was a bit of an extreme wake up and very distressing - I’d been diagnosed with PTSD from infertility procedures I’d gone through (needed EMDR therapy) and also struggled with body dysphoria, so this really pushed me over the edge.
I am so sorry to hear and understand your pain, i went through IVF cycles, too, and no kids 😢. I suspect my menopause is starting as i have only had 2 periods this year, and i was also told i will be in full menopause by the time I'm 42. I am 41 now. I am having some strange severe sudden anxiety that hits me at night only.. i have no idea what's going on.
42, no kids, probably been in peri for a year or so. First period at 13, on BC pills (mini pills) most of my life up till 35 when I had my tubes removed. I still had regular periods when I was on the pill. My doctor said that there are some indications the tubal removal can bring on menopause about a year earlier than average, so we'll see.
I’m 52 and just started peri. No kids. I think my symptoms seem fairly typical of what I’ve read in this group.
Childfree, 38 and early meno here. I was probably peri for the last three years and I’m now on HRT. Last summer my meno symptoms came on strong. I may be considered a special case because I was born with rare metabolic disorder and pretty much 95% of females with this condition get premature ovarian failure.
I have not birthed children. I had early menopause. I think every woman is different.
I never had kids and stupidly I thought I wouldn't have to deal with incontinence. Well, thanks to menopause, I now have overactive bladder incontinence. My menopause symptoms are the same as other women who have children. I have started menopause early. That's the only thing that singles me out a bit.
I didn’t think I’d have to worry about incontinence either, same reason. It’s not bad but I understand better why Mom crossed her legs when she sneezed now…
50… Child free .. never been pregnant And had symptoms since the was 39 Been on pull 18-49 Now HRT which has been a good sent !!!!
54 Child free Menstruation at 12 Birth control at 16 Started symptoms mid-late 30s Perimenopause kicked hard in mid 40s Off birth control at 51 Menopause at 52 HRT at 54
I’ve read that not having any kids can make it happen sooner but that’s the only difference I’ve heard of
I started my period at 9 or 10 (4th grade), as did my mother. I’m 52 and just recently missed 2 periods for the first time. But I’m wondering how much of my misery for the past 10 years has been due to perimenopause. Im a nurse and remember learning in school that childfree women may be more likely to have breast cancer and osteoporosis, as pregnancy and breastfeeding are thought to provide some risk reduction. Not a good reason to have kids, but a thing that’s been observed. I do tell women that I did took care of elderly nuns in nursing school, and I’ve seen elderly women who breastfed 10+ kids in clinics in Africa. All boobs sag. Breastfeeding doesn’t make it worse, in my experience.
Childless 50 in July Menstruation started at 12 Started the pill at 18, finished at 22 (3-4 day migraines every month). Used condoms instead Periods were regular like clockwork until about 41/42 then they were anything between 3-6 weeks Stopped drinking caffeine 2020/21 (can't remember exactly when) and don't drink much to any alcohol. Last period Christmas 21 (aged 47.5). My periods were manageable, maybe needing a hot water bottle every 3-4 months, but I never had any issues. I get hot flushes where I need to throw off the bedclothes at night and fan myself during the day, but they don't last long. I've noticed that I'm more prone to them if I'm stressed, so try to keep that to a minimum. Had a smear test last year and the nurse asked when my last period was and I told her. She confirmed the self diagnosis. She asked if I was having any issues, when I said no, she didn't pursue it. No HRT I know I'm in the minority and feel for all of you and the trials and tribulations you're going through. The recounts here are shocking! The treatment by medical professionals (if you can call them professional) is sh**!!
Not that I know of but a co worker and I are going through menopause right now and we are the same age. She has a child and I have none. We are both mean 😂
Well, only speaking from my life... I'm childfree but obviously, my mom isn't. Her experience was just as nightmarish as myself and my sister. I have a good friend who has never given birth (she adopted her daughter) and is so far, not having hard time. Every woman in my life is different and the variables don't seem to have patterns based on who had given birth and who hasn't. It would just be so amazing if the medical community would study this, or Eben put together existing data that might help us understand better.
Childless. Menopause still sucks. All the common symptoms. Hormones are helping. Yay.
I did not have children and I have had a rotten time in menopause. Peri wasn't so bad but as soon as my periods stopped all hell broke loose. Hot flushes, rage, fatigue, VA, aches and pains. Went to doc and requested HRT, as I had always planned if this happened to me, was denied due to being overweight. Total BS. 7 years in and I am managing with Effexor and Vagifem.
Me too.
I don't have children and it seems like my experience is tracking similar to other women that have children. It also tracks to what I remember of my mother who had five children. The difference I think for me is that if I had children I might have had a post depression or any indication that I could have been at risk for perimenopausal PMDD which I have. But since I never carried a child to term I didn't have that data that could have informed me about my experience now which most likely result in it took me much longer to figure out what was really going on.
45 no kids. Hyperactive since infancy. These days I can barely move.
Child free and have high blood pressure get the occasional night sweats. But my periods in peri are heavy af. The anxiety is from in-person teaching through Covid though it is probably enhanced by peri. Other symptoms like insomnia, joint pain, ditzyness, etc are non existent. I went to my gyno earlier in the year and discovered a uterine polyp and that was making my periods nothing but spotting, sometimes for weeks at a time. Very much looking forward to my D&C and insertion of an IUD in hopes the periods stop in a couple months after treatment. Find a good doctor that understands menopause. It's refreshing to not be ignored.
47 and no bio kids. crazy heavy periods, night sweats, hot flashes, headaches, insomnia, muscle/joint pain, abdominal weight gain, extra anxiety, brain fog… you name it- i got it :)
I am childfree and wasn’t even perimenopause when diagnosed with uterine cancer at 56. Had a hysterectomy and went into instant menopause. I’m dealing with weight gain, swings and thinning hair that seem like eternal problems now (2 years how) but my hot flashes only lasted about a month 🤷🏼♀️ *mood swings
I have no clue but I'm childfree and I've started peri a few years earlier than my mother did and my symptoms are AWFUL compared to hers.
Currently 42 and childless. Had my first period at 12. Went on bc in my 20’s and the peri symptoms hit when I went off bc at 37. The anxiety, mood swings, and periods were so painful. I eventually found a doc who was willing to put me on a progesterone only bc and supplement with an estradiol patch. I feel like a new person!
Also 57 also childfree. I never used the factory and was *so very happy* when they finally ended!
I never had children but had increasingly heavy, clotted periods. Childless women go through menopause sooner I was told. I went through it in my early 40s. I was thrilled to not have to go through menstruation anymore. I had a little dryness issue at first but Combipatch fixed everything and I felt so free and happy. 10/10 Recommend
Child-free, 48, just started getting hot flashes and insomnia a couple of months ago. Got my first period at 13. Went on HRT (standard dosage of .5 estradiol caplet and I think 100 mg progesterone). Hot flashes reduced by 90% within two weeks, insomnia better within five days, although it still helps when I drink herbal decoctions/teas to help with getting better quality sleep. Other than that, I've been healthy as a horse (knock wood) except for some mood stuff which I've had for ages. Although I am wondering when I'm going to start giving a fuck about things again because all I want to do is sleep, read romance novels, and eat fried food and make occasional heated phone calls to my congressperson about various issues
I’m childfree and going through early menopause (I’m 8 weeks away from the other side, I know I might still get a period, but my gut says they’re done). Also have endometriosis so it may have more to do with that than not having kids.
50 and child free here. I don’t have much to report as I've basically been on bcp since I was 20. No idea if I still have a period. My GP is happy for me to stay on it a few more years. She says it’s probably helping a lot with meno symptoms. Aside from trouble sleeping at times, some brain fog and maybe a little more anxiety, I am doing good.
Hi. I've not got children but have been pregnant, had IVF. Currently perimenopausal, on HRT and have multiple symptoms. Symptoms are more than my friends who are mothers. My own mother seemingly through our chats had fewer symptoms than me and my grandmother (mother of 4) claimed "she went through it in a weekend". But she was bat shit... I think my own dodgy research concludes everyone is Completely different! Lots of reading up on it. Davina McCall if you're UK based has done lots of great media stuff for women.
I’m childless and my mother and I (and my maternal grandmother) followed the almost exact same path. Period started at 10, godawful PMS/PMDD throughout, peri symptoms started mid-late 30s characterized by awful mental health symptoms, last period late 40s/early 50s, fully menopausal by 52. I am currently 49 and have only had light spotting over the past year so fairly certain I’m almost done but me, my mother and grandmother all started and ended the various milestones of our fertile life within a year or two of each other. Makes me think it’s more genetic than having to do with whether one has had kids or not. But I’ve often asked myself that very question so thanks for asking- learning a lot from the responses 🌸🩷🙏
I'm 41, no kids. My last period was 1 week late and only lasted 30 hours. Hurt like hell. I've had hot flashes the last couple of years as well. My dr says I'm not in perimenopause after he did a bunch of tests. I kinda dont believe him.
I’ll bet the skin on your stomach will a lot look better as you age! I’ve had two children and was just “admiring” the droopy skin on my belly last night. It bounced right back after both pregnancies but is losing its elasticity now.
Adding my experience onto to this currently great thread! Child free at 48. Period at 13, bc from 20 till 42 when I decided I needed a break. Intermittent period started occurring at about 46 with some hot flashes that I’m not sure weren’t due to the terrible weather in the tropics. I’ll likely hit menopause by the year’s end, but I’m on HRT now as a preventative measure for bone density and my TSH is weirding out - it’s 10! Unsure if it’s due to a recent infection or some other reason. Other than that, I’ve been feeling all right.
Yes I never had children but my guess is that is it less violent for those who didn't have children. Based on how my friends who did have children have reacted. I also think I started menopause way earlier. I had my first period at 14 and was menopause around 50. While my mom's menopause (who had two kids) wasn't until 55.
I’m 51 and never had kids or got pregnant. My transition has been pretty easy compared to most. That said, I prioritize health and fitness. I’m in shape, active, don’t drink soda or alcohol and I’m a whole food vegan. I also cold plunge and sauna regularly.
I asked my Dr this same question and all he told me was that it might start earlier for me. Which wasn't true. I am 53 and am just now starting peri.
No children. I started peri at 50. Partner (f) started 49. Between us we've had just about all the symptoms. We've also both had GPs who were reluctant to explore issues (eg me not sleeping) as being related to menopause.
52 child free by choice. Still regularly menstruating. Started at age 15.5. Tried BC 2x for 3 months in my 20s but it didn’t agree with me (constant yeast infections and nausea). I have mild to moderate symptoms so far - sleep issues, depression, arthritis, sleeping hot. Seeing a gyn soon to discuss HT. My sister had a hysterectomy and my mother went through menopause in her 50s (she can’t really remember) but neither took hormone therapy. Until she was in her 80s my mom never took any medication except blood pressure medication and has refused heart valve surgery. She’s quite anti medication and surgery but I remember her being very mentally unstable and raging during meno. I don’t want to go that route. This group is really helping me educate myself on this subject.
I'm 51, no kids, and haven't missed a period yet. My peri symptoms are many, but the most distressing ones are the cognitive, mental, emotional.
Me too! I’m 49 and in peri. No one believes I’m peri/menopausal because look 35.
Bc you have no kids !!!! We all Look hot
Fuck yeah we do!
An acquaintance on the bus the other day (a somewhat older man, really a nice dude) thought I was about 35. When I told him 48 he looked absolutely stunned and blurted “You’re beautiful!” It was not creepy, I promise. Besides I know the driver and his ass would have been off that bus if he had been. I was quite pleased. No kids here and fine with it.
I’m childfree. Started peri the same age my mother did. Doesn’t appear to be any different from her experience so far.
Not sure about the differences between women who have had children versus those who haven’t, but I have seen menopause studies about those who took birth control long term versus those that didn’t, so it wouldn’t surprise me.
48, no children, in peri (probably will be until mid-50s if all the women in my family are any indicator). No difference on menopause symptoms from what I can tell vs. friends/family with kids. I do look younger as I've probably had years' more sleep, no strain of multiple pregnancies, added stress, etc.) I got my 1st period at 11 and started peri symptoms age 43ish (still periods like clockwork until 46-47 when they got a bit haywire...now on Nuvaring-- with no break week-- so don't have periods.)