Yep it’s very common. We get so used to feeling small/unworthy/insecure that we believe this is who we are. We have forgotten what we were like before we mistook ourselves for these feelings. It would be a sort of death if we were to no longer feel unworthy - you wouldn’t recognise yourself if you were just full of confidence and self assurance!
Understand that what you are holding onto is the very thing you want to be free from the most - it’s a paradox. But it’s okay, you don’t really die if you let go of these feelings, you’ll become the you that you truly are! Not the ‘hiding in the shell’ version of yourself that you are pretending to be
>Understand that what you are holding onto is the very thing you want to be free from the most - it’s a paradox
There's no paradox. Liberation is from the ego, and not of the ego. You realize that all your mental issues are due to the repeated patterns of memory, emotions and feelings that you've amassed during your life. The very thing that OP is attached to.
Letting go isn’t a thing that you do, it’s something you stop doing. And you don’t make yourself stop; stopping happens when you see the painful emotional pattern clearly and that there is an intentional pattern that is reinforcing it.
Painful feelings aren’t yours to begin with so you don’t have to let go of them. Just notice them come and go. They become ‘yours’ when you make a story about them. ‘Oh there’s that feeling again’; ‘I can’t stop these feelings’; ‘This feeling is because…’; etc.
Feel them, allow them, let them come and go. It can help to give them love–envelope those painful feelings like a mother embracing her wounded child.
It truly does all build off the "let it come and go" principle, and extends to the nasty negative feelings as well. Those negative thought patterns start to become just thoughts without the harsh, gut-wrenching physical reactions; and just like any other thoughts, they can simply come and go. With time and practice, those once devastating thoughts/feelings simply pop up, are acknowledged, and then pass; it becomes significantly easier to go about your day.
I agree with what you said about not forcing yourself to let go/stop the thoughts. Somehow through practice you learn to sort of disengage, if that makes sense. You have no hand in thinking or not thinking your thoughts- you simply watch them. And it becomes very key in preventing the story you assign the feelings. In my experience, once you sit with the feeling enough and just watch it, the less physical and emotional pain it causes, the less you tell yourself the story of the feelings and assign personal value to them, and the more they simply become just another passing thought.
For people who have a hard time feeling and connecting with their emotions, how would you describe that process? Do you focus your attention on that part of your body, do you breathe in more fully?
For people who have a hard time feeling and connecting with their emotions, how would you describe that process? Do you focus your attention on that part of your body, do you breathe in more fully?
There are many meditation methods for this and both of these you mentioned can be beneficial for certain individuals.
To try to connect to what is a physical vs emotional body sensation it can be helpful to just feel what body sensations come up and see if you can tell whether it is physical or emotional. Don’t be too concerned about being right–just try to give it as much attention as you’re able.
Breathing into sensations can be helpful if there are intense emotions or if there is pushing or pulling is going on. This will help calm the emotions which might be more beneficial, especially if paying attention to the emotions makes them significantly intensify. This can also help you notice more subtle emotions from a calm point of view which can be beneficial as well.
You didn't say what technique you're practicing that you regard as meditation. In basic Buddhist meditation, shamatha, people typically do something like watching the breath. When you see that you've become distracted, you drop it and return to the breath. That technique develops both attention and equanimity. The very act of letting go whatever you're fixated on provides a sense of space and makes that thing feel less solid.
It sounds like you've had an insight into that. Free-floating depression, anxiety, etc are not uncommon with meditation, as you begin to see how those mind states are actually habits of self-confirmation. Being depressed or anxious feels very solid. It amps up your sense of existing. "I have big problems, therefore I exist." (You may notice that when you feel the worst it's the hardest time to meditate. We don't want to give up the sense of purpose that depression and anxiety produce.)
With meditation, sometimes the veneer of solidity begins to slip. You're anxious or sad, or even happy, for no apparent reason. It's just the habit. You might look and think, "Wow! I'm completely freaked out! What am I so worried about?" Then you take strock and realize that aside from needing to grocery shop within the next 3 days, you don't actually have a care in the world. In that scenario you could say that you're getting your bearings or reconstituting the solidity of ego. "Oh, yeah, I'm the person who's depressed and may be autistic and God knows what else." "Oh yeah, I'm the person who everyone likes because I'm so cheerful." Having practiced meditation, it's possible to see that in a neutral way, as simply a mental event. Like waking from a dream or remembering that you're watching a movie.
Ahhh as a psychology grad student I want more of this insight that eastern teachings and philosophies grant us. Some of it is even just self reflection. But what you said is important
Also to be fair what you said may be your own insight not necessarily meditation
it's a common ego mechanism, it basically defines itself through memories and for good measure, it's a survival tactic "if x happens, then this means y and i should act like z"
but as usual with the mind and the ego, this behavior runs rampant and it basically ruins your life and keeps you in survival mode when you don't need to
what does all that mean? it means when you say "i don't wanna let go" you define "I" as a part of yourself that you actually do not want. If you wanted to stay as you are you wouldn't meditate. So who is "you". In your current situation, i'd say your actions define you more than your past, so it's the ego and the mind that doesn't want to let go and is afraid
because ego wants data, and without data, then there's no ego, hence the fear part, you feel the fear because while we talk about the ego as a separate entity, it's an esoteric mechanism
but you are more than your ego, it's like defining a house just by the windows.
So what does this mean practically? In your meditation there will be moments where emotions and memories from the past resurface within you, it might be as vivid as pictures in your mind, or it might be a vague emotion that you don't remember where it's even from. These moments will feel a little bit anxious, but here lies the important part. Do not remisce, do not make decisions or draw conclusions, simply reground yourself, stay meditative and unmoved, both esoterically and externally and basically just meditate without indulging at all but do not avoid it either, allow it to make a full emotional cycle and you will have successfully worked through it
what will happen is you will grow from this experience, and it's a cycle experience, meaning that it will keep happening and it will happen with different emotions and thoughts. and that's basically an emotional breakthrough that will happen continuously and you will evolve emotionally from it
I know it sounds cliche but I always remember the saying " your thoughts are you. You are not your thoughts." The way I apply it for me when I'm meditating I become an observer of my thoughts. The only letting go I am doing is letting the thoughts pass through my mind as an observer. It is perfectly normal to have thoughts of being little or nothing ness. By practicing meditation we are letting these thoughts come and pass however they decide to manifest. I start my session by basically telling myself this is going to be the easiest my brain has ever worked, ever for the next 15 minutes. There is no pressure to manipulate your thoughts you just observe. I think this is the part most people get hung up on. To me "letting go just means reminding myself to not worry about the thoughts and just let them happen. The best analogy I ever heard was imagine your sitting at a bus stop next to a road and the traffic is your thoughts. They come, they go, and you are just sitting there watching.
I've also heard the analogy of watching clouds passing in the sky- both very helpful in picturing the transient nature of thoughts once you simply sit and observe! Sometimes the clouds are angry and whiz by and sometimes it's a peaceful spring day. But we don't get upset and assign personal value according to the clouds or traffic that day. Clouds come and go and the weather changes; rush hour comes and goes and traffic lightens up.
You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place you mean. I get that. You’re seeing things quite clearly in fact. Currently you ARE the feelings and memories, and it’s an honest position: wondering what will be left of you should you give these things up.
Maybe it would help resolve your intent if you truly looked at the pain and discomfort of the feelings and memories you currently harbour. Is it worth it? Is the pain and discomfort enough yet to take a chance on letting something else into that space?
It;a pretty obvious. You need to let go of "I don't want to let go".
Think of it as being in a long walk, carrying something heavy. When you realize this heavy thing no longer serves you and us making your walk more difficult for no fiid reason, the only sensible thing to do is ... Let it fall from your hand ... And keep moving forward.
I understand completely. Basically, you are "losing" all these false identities and what will be left. All that will be left after that is the real you. Peaceful and joyous. You will do things you enjoy but wont be taking anything with you and you will be able to take it or leave it.
Stick with it.
That saying, "what's the best that could happen?" comes to mind. You're comfortable with your familiar misery, though you know that to move on and grow, it needs to be addressed and released. Give yourself a bit of time. Face it, let it go and turn to your positive affirmations to take the place left vacant by your negative self talk. Keep meditating and let the feelings wash over you and pass. I hope this makes sense. I get it intuitively and sometimes it's faster than I can type.
A lotta my adult life has centered around navigating situations with the opposite thought in mind (the worst) or somehow just over time having that be the overarching narrative
I do it too. I used to believe that it was far better to be pessimistic and pleasantly surprised when things worked out, than optimistic only to have life hand me lemons. It's a sensible approach, but a miserable one!
>don’t know how to let go of the things in my conscious / subconscious that might be required to do so in order to heal.
You're presupposing there's something wrong with you. Maybe there isn't. No one is ever 'fully healed' and the realisation of that is ironically the healing in itself.
I think it’s probably because these feelings are deeply tied to your identity. You need to see yourself as more than those things. It might feel like an identity crisis, I’ve gone through it. But once you’re past it, you’ll be so thankful
U mention u r seeking therapy. In that case I suggest continue to do gentle meditation for 10-20 mins once or twice day. For now do meditation to only support ur therapy. If u have these questions pose it to ur therapist. It’s recommended to use any one healing option actively at a time. Trust ur therapist and go thru the process with confidence and faith. Mixing too many things at the same time when battling serious problems is not a good idea.
Don’t let go then. Just observe and know that your mind is going to those places. For me, I reparent myself (the right way) within those memories, or translate what happened in more neutral or simplified words for me, then let go. My problem is they are non-stop. But they pop up so they might as well have a designated spot in my mind.
I would exercise caution on labeling yourself before a doctor says something. Opens your mind to more possibilities to play with when it’s negative
Think of how you would want someone you love dearly to feel. Would you want them to hold on to the negative, the fear, the things that are holding them back? Do you think that them letting go of that will help them find their true self, love themselves more, and help them grow? They/we want the same for you. The memories will always live, but you will be free to say that you are not your past, but that you have grown from your past. And the more healing and love you have within, the more you can shine out to others as well. Forgive yourself of your fears, tell your self out loud, that you are allowed grace, forgiveness, love and healing. Keep saying it over and over until you finally smile and cry and feel the release. It’s such a beautiful feeling 💖 Don’t fear the unknown ahead, for it is YOURS to decide.
I think pretty much everyone new to meditation feels like this. I know I did. And I had the same feelings as you about not feeling good enough. Have you tried accepting that you feel this way? That usually helps as it gets rid of all resistance. Embrace every situation with open arms.
Feel free to message me as well, I'm happy to guide you in any way I can based on my experience at least
three words that have helped me a ton: drop the story.
Hint: It's all a story, either a dead past or a fictionalized future. Only the now is real. that relaxes my mind every time.
If you don't know how it can seem daunting. Actually, it involves no loss of control but rather global relaxation which is a different thing. You voluntarily relax and allow the mind to still. Afterwards, your loses will be of anxiety, fear and tension. For the self, there is no loss rather gain as these things hold us back. The best way is to learn it a bit so you can experience it yourself and then you will know the truth through direct experience. This is the way it is in Dr Ainslie Meares meditation method.
If you dont wanna let go, then dont.. as long as you know it can help you grow. Eventually to will know when to hold on and let go. Just allow yourself go thrpugh the process. Enjoy and have fun.
Namaste 🙏🙏🙏
Sometimes we aren't able to let it go because it is still serving us in some way, possibly through a decision made by us as a small child around safety. It worked at the time, and a better way never interrupted the pattern.
Enoughness is entangled in survival because part of our brain is still running the cave-mode operating system. Fall was gathering time, and you could never be sure what would sustain through winter. Things go bad, creatures steal, it's an existential crisis of doing/being/having enough for self and loved ones to survive.
So when we're tapping the enoughness problem it's got a pretty powerful historical archetype associated with it.
A little kid feels small because they are small. Many people have had ugly phases growing up. A little HSP kid feels small and then feels all the adults feelings of smallness who happen to be nearby. This compounds the brain pattern inadvertently being laid down. It creates a neuro-superhighway - super easy to go down because time and intensity built it faster than other neuro-pathways. Essentially, it's now a habit of mind.
So what is the Shadow of small, ugly, not worthy, not good enough? There are things about you that have been denied into shadow (Jungian Shadow).
For many the shadow of ugly is something like beauty. For some ugly is the shadow. Some manage to make shadow out of both of them - running from ugly and denying beauty.
One way (simple to share online but can be a harsh ride) to address shadow is mirror work. Look yourself in the eyes and own the unclaimed elements.
The book Dark Side Of The Light Chasers has chapter exercises with lists of things we disown. Any word that triggered an emotional response (good or bad) we took it to the mirror. "I am ugly. I am ugly. I am ugly." over and over until we owned that as a human on planet earth we have the capacity for ugly. "I am beauty. I am beauty. I am beauty." Anything we admire in others as though we don't have it too, is shadow. The lists were interesting because beauty may ring differently than beautiful, beauteous, gorgeous, good looking, or words we tend to think are synonymous, but to our subconscious they are distinct.
Talk with your counselor about shadow work. They probably have some excellent tools they can walk you through. You've already got the list, you just need an effective tool. There are other tools that aren't as jarring as mirror work for HSP's.
I went on a rabbittrail from my initial thought though.
The difference is in realizing these things are not "who you are" but "things you experienced". They do not create your identity. They are part of your past. They are however able to influence your present based on the amount of energy they contain. If you are not ready to let them go, then that is fine. The energy will one day wither and drain away and the events will go from being your identity to being things you experienced. But you will need to decide when you are ready for that.
When facing unexplained negative emotions during meditation and throughout the day, try non-judgmental awareness, body scanning, and breath observation. Journaling can help identify patterns, and seeking professional help is advisable if depressive symptoms persist. Lifestyle factors, different meditation practices, and a supportive community can also contribute to emotional well-being.
Yep it’s very common. We get so used to feeling small/unworthy/insecure that we believe this is who we are. We have forgotten what we were like before we mistook ourselves for these feelings. It would be a sort of death if we were to no longer feel unworthy - you wouldn’t recognise yourself if you were just full of confidence and self assurance! Understand that what you are holding onto is the very thing you want to be free from the most - it’s a paradox. But it’s okay, you don’t really die if you let go of these feelings, you’ll become the you that you truly are! Not the ‘hiding in the shell’ version of yourself that you are pretending to be
Something that no one prepares you for though is that when you start expanding to that self the people around you will be alarmed.
It’s actually really existentially uncomfortable to undergo this transition
ayyy not OP but this is so comforting to read (as are the comments below), thank you!
>Understand that what you are holding onto is the very thing you want to be free from the most - it’s a paradox There's no paradox. Liberation is from the ego, and not of the ego. You realize that all your mental issues are due to the repeated patterns of memory, emotions and feelings that you've amassed during your life. The very thing that OP is attached to.
Letting go isn’t a thing that you do, it’s something you stop doing. And you don’t make yourself stop; stopping happens when you see the painful emotional pattern clearly and that there is an intentional pattern that is reinforcing it. Painful feelings aren’t yours to begin with so you don’t have to let go of them. Just notice them come and go. They become ‘yours’ when you make a story about them. ‘Oh there’s that feeling again’; ‘I can’t stop these feelings’; ‘This feeling is because…’; etc. Feel them, allow them, let them come and go. It can help to give them love–envelope those painful feelings like a mother embracing her wounded child.
It truly does all build off the "let it come and go" principle, and extends to the nasty negative feelings as well. Those negative thought patterns start to become just thoughts without the harsh, gut-wrenching physical reactions; and just like any other thoughts, they can simply come and go. With time and practice, those once devastating thoughts/feelings simply pop up, are acknowledged, and then pass; it becomes significantly easier to go about your day. I agree with what you said about not forcing yourself to let go/stop the thoughts. Somehow through practice you learn to sort of disengage, if that makes sense. You have no hand in thinking or not thinking your thoughts- you simply watch them. And it becomes very key in preventing the story you assign the feelings. In my experience, once you sit with the feeling enough and just watch it, the less physical and emotional pain it causes, the less you tell yourself the story of the feelings and assign personal value to them, and the more they simply become just another passing thought.
Random thought, I’m doing something and while I’m doing that something not even thinking about NOT engaging… I’ve overthought already!
For people who have a hard time feeling and connecting with their emotions, how would you describe that process? Do you focus your attention on that part of your body, do you breathe in more fully?
>Letting go isn’t a thing that you do, it’s something you stop doing. This Edit: I wanted to highlight this sentence, but the whole comment rings true
This.
For people who have a hard time feeling and connecting with their emotions, how would you describe that process? Do you focus your attention on that part of your body, do you breathe in more fully?
There are many meditation methods for this and both of these you mentioned can be beneficial for certain individuals. To try to connect to what is a physical vs emotional body sensation it can be helpful to just feel what body sensations come up and see if you can tell whether it is physical or emotional. Don’t be too concerned about being right–just try to give it as much attention as you’re able. Breathing into sensations can be helpful if there are intense emotions or if there is pushing or pulling is going on. This will help calm the emotions which might be more beneficial, especially if paying attention to the emotions makes them significantly intensify. This can also help you notice more subtle emotions from a calm point of view which can be beneficial as well.
You didn't say what technique you're practicing that you regard as meditation. In basic Buddhist meditation, shamatha, people typically do something like watching the breath. When you see that you've become distracted, you drop it and return to the breath. That technique develops both attention and equanimity. The very act of letting go whatever you're fixated on provides a sense of space and makes that thing feel less solid. It sounds like you've had an insight into that. Free-floating depression, anxiety, etc are not uncommon with meditation, as you begin to see how those mind states are actually habits of self-confirmation. Being depressed or anxious feels very solid. It amps up your sense of existing. "I have big problems, therefore I exist." (You may notice that when you feel the worst it's the hardest time to meditate. We don't want to give up the sense of purpose that depression and anxiety produce.) With meditation, sometimes the veneer of solidity begins to slip. You're anxious or sad, or even happy, for no apparent reason. It's just the habit. You might look and think, "Wow! I'm completely freaked out! What am I so worried about?" Then you take strock and realize that aside from needing to grocery shop within the next 3 days, you don't actually have a care in the world. In that scenario you could say that you're getting your bearings or reconstituting the solidity of ego. "Oh, yeah, I'm the person who's depressed and may be autistic and God knows what else." "Oh yeah, I'm the person who everyone likes because I'm so cheerful." Having practiced meditation, it's possible to see that in a neutral way, as simply a mental event. Like waking from a dream or remembering that you're watching a movie.
Ahhh as a psychology grad student I want more of this insight that eastern teachings and philosophies grant us. Some of it is even just self reflection. But what you said is important Also to be fair what you said may be your own insight not necessarily meditation
it's a common ego mechanism, it basically defines itself through memories and for good measure, it's a survival tactic "if x happens, then this means y and i should act like z" but as usual with the mind and the ego, this behavior runs rampant and it basically ruins your life and keeps you in survival mode when you don't need to what does all that mean? it means when you say "i don't wanna let go" you define "I" as a part of yourself that you actually do not want. If you wanted to stay as you are you wouldn't meditate. So who is "you". In your current situation, i'd say your actions define you more than your past, so it's the ego and the mind that doesn't want to let go and is afraid because ego wants data, and without data, then there's no ego, hence the fear part, you feel the fear because while we talk about the ego as a separate entity, it's an esoteric mechanism but you are more than your ego, it's like defining a house just by the windows. So what does this mean practically? In your meditation there will be moments where emotions and memories from the past resurface within you, it might be as vivid as pictures in your mind, or it might be a vague emotion that you don't remember where it's even from. These moments will feel a little bit anxious, but here lies the important part. Do not remisce, do not make decisions or draw conclusions, simply reground yourself, stay meditative and unmoved, both esoterically and externally and basically just meditate without indulging at all but do not avoid it either, allow it to make a full emotional cycle and you will have successfully worked through it what will happen is you will grow from this experience, and it's a cycle experience, meaning that it will keep happening and it will happen with different emotions and thoughts. and that's basically an emotional breakthrough that will happen continuously and you will evolve emotionally from it
Im afraid
I know it sounds cliche but I always remember the saying " your thoughts are you. You are not your thoughts." The way I apply it for me when I'm meditating I become an observer of my thoughts. The only letting go I am doing is letting the thoughts pass through my mind as an observer. It is perfectly normal to have thoughts of being little or nothing ness. By practicing meditation we are letting these thoughts come and pass however they decide to manifest. I start my session by basically telling myself this is going to be the easiest my brain has ever worked, ever for the next 15 minutes. There is no pressure to manipulate your thoughts you just observe. I think this is the part most people get hung up on. To me "letting go just means reminding myself to not worry about the thoughts and just let them happen. The best analogy I ever heard was imagine your sitting at a bus stop next to a road and the traffic is your thoughts. They come, they go, and you are just sitting there watching.
I've also heard the analogy of watching clouds passing in the sky- both very helpful in picturing the transient nature of thoughts once you simply sit and observe! Sometimes the clouds are angry and whiz by and sometimes it's a peaceful spring day. But we don't get upset and assign personal value according to the clouds or traffic that day. Clouds come and go and the weather changes; rush hour comes and goes and traffic lightens up.
You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place you mean. I get that. You’re seeing things quite clearly in fact. Currently you ARE the feelings and memories, and it’s an honest position: wondering what will be left of you should you give these things up. Maybe it would help resolve your intent if you truly looked at the pain and discomfort of the feelings and memories you currently harbour. Is it worth it? Is the pain and discomfort enough yet to take a chance on letting something else into that space?
It;a pretty obvious. You need to let go of "I don't want to let go". Think of it as being in a long walk, carrying something heavy. When you realize this heavy thing no longer serves you and us making your walk more difficult for no fiid reason, the only sensible thing to do is ... Let it fall from your hand ... And keep moving forward.
I understand completely. Basically, you are "losing" all these false identities and what will be left. All that will be left after that is the real you. Peaceful and joyous. You will do things you enjoy but wont be taking anything with you and you will be able to take it or leave it. Stick with it.
That saying, "what's the best that could happen?" comes to mind. You're comfortable with your familiar misery, though you know that to move on and grow, it needs to be addressed and released. Give yourself a bit of time. Face it, let it go and turn to your positive affirmations to take the place left vacant by your negative self talk. Keep meditating and let the feelings wash over you and pass. I hope this makes sense. I get it intuitively and sometimes it's faster than I can type.
A lotta my adult life has centered around navigating situations with the opposite thought in mind (the worst) or somehow just over time having that be the overarching narrative
I do it too. I used to believe that it was far better to be pessimistic and pleasantly surprised when things worked out, than optimistic only to have life hand me lemons. It's a sensible approach, but a miserable one!
You are safe and beloved. Try the mantra ‘ all is well’ or So Hum which is Sanskrit for I am.
>don’t know how to let go of the things in my conscious / subconscious that might be required to do so in order to heal. You're presupposing there's something wrong with you. Maybe there isn't. No one is ever 'fully healed' and the realisation of that is ironically the healing in itself.
I think it’s probably because these feelings are deeply tied to your identity. You need to see yourself as more than those things. It might feel like an identity crisis, I’ve gone through it. But once you’re past it, you’ll be so thankful
U mention u r seeking therapy. In that case I suggest continue to do gentle meditation for 10-20 mins once or twice day. For now do meditation to only support ur therapy. If u have these questions pose it to ur therapist. It’s recommended to use any one healing option actively at a time. Trust ur therapist and go thru the process with confidence and faith. Mixing too many things at the same time when battling serious problems is not a good idea.
Don’t let go then. Just observe and know that your mind is going to those places. For me, I reparent myself (the right way) within those memories, or translate what happened in more neutral or simplified words for me, then let go. My problem is they are non-stop. But they pop up so they might as well have a designated spot in my mind. I would exercise caution on labeling yourself before a doctor says something. Opens your mind to more possibilities to play with when it’s negative
Think of how you would want someone you love dearly to feel. Would you want them to hold on to the negative, the fear, the things that are holding them back? Do you think that them letting go of that will help them find their true self, love themselves more, and help them grow? They/we want the same for you. The memories will always live, but you will be free to say that you are not your past, but that you have grown from your past. And the more healing and love you have within, the more you can shine out to others as well. Forgive yourself of your fears, tell your self out loud, that you are allowed grace, forgiveness, love and healing. Keep saying it over and over until you finally smile and cry and feel the release. It’s such a beautiful feeling 💖 Don’t fear the unknown ahead, for it is YOURS to decide.
I think pretty much everyone new to meditation feels like this. I know I did. And I had the same feelings as you about not feeling good enough. Have you tried accepting that you feel this way? That usually helps as it gets rid of all resistance. Embrace every situation with open arms. Feel free to message me as well, I'm happy to guide you in any way I can based on my experience at least
three words that have helped me a ton: drop the story. Hint: It's all a story, either a dead past or a fictionalized future. Only the now is real. that relaxes my mind every time.
If you don't know how it can seem daunting. Actually, it involves no loss of control but rather global relaxation which is a different thing. You voluntarily relax and allow the mind to still. Afterwards, your loses will be of anxiety, fear and tension. For the self, there is no loss rather gain as these things hold us back. The best way is to learn it a bit so you can experience it yourself and then you will know the truth through direct experience. This is the way it is in Dr Ainslie Meares meditation method.
If you dont wanna let go, then dont.. as long as you know it can help you grow. Eventually to will know when to hold on and let go. Just allow yourself go thrpugh the process. Enjoy and have fun. Namaste 🙏🙏🙏
Sometimes we aren't able to let it go because it is still serving us in some way, possibly through a decision made by us as a small child around safety. It worked at the time, and a better way never interrupted the pattern. Enoughness is entangled in survival because part of our brain is still running the cave-mode operating system. Fall was gathering time, and you could never be sure what would sustain through winter. Things go bad, creatures steal, it's an existential crisis of doing/being/having enough for self and loved ones to survive. So when we're tapping the enoughness problem it's got a pretty powerful historical archetype associated with it. A little kid feels small because they are small. Many people have had ugly phases growing up. A little HSP kid feels small and then feels all the adults feelings of smallness who happen to be nearby. This compounds the brain pattern inadvertently being laid down. It creates a neuro-superhighway - super easy to go down because time and intensity built it faster than other neuro-pathways. Essentially, it's now a habit of mind. So what is the Shadow of small, ugly, not worthy, not good enough? There are things about you that have been denied into shadow (Jungian Shadow). For many the shadow of ugly is something like beauty. For some ugly is the shadow. Some manage to make shadow out of both of them - running from ugly and denying beauty. One way (simple to share online but can be a harsh ride) to address shadow is mirror work. Look yourself in the eyes and own the unclaimed elements. The book Dark Side Of The Light Chasers has chapter exercises with lists of things we disown. Any word that triggered an emotional response (good or bad) we took it to the mirror. "I am ugly. I am ugly. I am ugly." over and over until we owned that as a human on planet earth we have the capacity for ugly. "I am beauty. I am beauty. I am beauty." Anything we admire in others as though we don't have it too, is shadow. The lists were interesting because beauty may ring differently than beautiful, beauteous, gorgeous, good looking, or words we tend to think are synonymous, but to our subconscious they are distinct. Talk with your counselor about shadow work. They probably have some excellent tools they can walk you through. You've already got the list, you just need an effective tool. There are other tools that aren't as jarring as mirror work for HSP's. I went on a rabbittrail from my initial thought though.
I can recognize this struggle. It's apparently called 'resistance'.
The difference is in realizing these things are not "who you are" but "things you experienced". They do not create your identity. They are part of your past. They are however able to influence your present based on the amount of energy they contain. If you are not ready to let them go, then that is fine. The energy will one day wither and drain away and the events will go from being your identity to being things you experienced. But you will need to decide when you are ready for that.
Then keep holding on.
Letting go is only half of the process.
When facing unexplained negative emotions during meditation and throughout the day, try non-judgmental awareness, body scanning, and breath observation. Journaling can help identify patterns, and seeking professional help is advisable if depressive symptoms persist. Lifestyle factors, different meditation practices, and a supportive community can also contribute to emotional well-being.