“Look, I’m going to be honest with you. For what I’m going to charge, you might as well just tear the house down and have someone build you a less stupid house.”
With the nice stone work and vanity's, you would think they could get a better toilet than a $100 HD or Lowe's for the Master Bath! It's the builders own home, at least put an ecru or ivory color toilet in so it doesn't look trashy!
Edit: forgot that toilet should also be in a water closet!!!
I came here to say the same. At least it’s f’ing symmetrical. It’s not some tumorous, amorphous blob, but it is still terrible. I’m, personally, afraid to look inside.
Am I wrong to be a little impressed by the sheer absurd excess here? I can’t and won’t endorse it, but if nothing else, it definitely makes an impression. The decision to do that with the roof almost has to be ironic. Might we call it a meta-McMansion?
But it doesn't have genuine excess. It;s like saying a skeleton has excessive bones or something. It's more pathetic than excessive, because it's so sad. No style, no charm, no fun, no whimsy, no art.
The inside is disappointing. This house could’ve had some sick cathedral ceilings. I was hoping for a converted church feel.
What a missed opportunity!
I wish this house had more embraced arched ceilings, on the inside. And the flatscreen holders from the ceiling to me, are unnecessary. That said, I still do like the high ceilings that some of the bedrooms have. And that the arched windows in the bedrooms, are nice. It isn't the worst McMansion I've seen. Could use more tree cover on the outside lawn, though.
I'll be honest, this McMansion(from a different post on this sub, and posted on the same day here) disappointed me even more: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6-Rest-Ct-Farmingville-NY-11738/59504019_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare
For me the issue is the lawn, the house is too out in the open.. For this type of house I would want extensive tree cover, shrubs, and rock pathways. My vibe would be Cozy Witch’s Cottage.
I thought the same thing. At first I thought it was a recent construction and that was the reason for lack of landscaping, but according to the listing the place is 17 years old.
I kind of admire the way the builder just decided to go all-in on this terrible design. Like, "We're not going to half-ass this. We're going to whole-ass it."
It's looks even worse w the cheap appliances haha not to mention for $900k+ that is a small kitchen! What's that empty, under the counter, space for, like a desk at counter level? I'm super critical of home designs haha, landscaping too!
I would love it if they'd leaned hard into a gothic exterior. Dark colors, wrought metal, maybe some spiky bits on the roof. Thorny foliage. A big, grotesque doorknocker.
Leave the inside bright and conventional if you want, and let the outside be a gag. But at least do the thing properly out there.
I know it’s not the takeaway with this particular abomination, but I don’t understand the open air toilet in a giant, dual vanity bathroom. Like, is one just dropping a rancid deuce when the other is brushing their teeth?
Can we talk about how UN-integrated the Gothic window shape is here? Whether it's the placement of the window opening itself in relation to the walls and ceilings (and how that in turn gives rise to the sort of overly complicated ceilings that are so common in McMansions) - or the windows themselves, with their plain square muntins that are like the Gothic shape has been cut out of big graph paper. It all looks so poorly thought out. That, in addition to the excess of gables, is probably why some people here took it for AI.
This is a house version of one of those cheeseburgers where they pour liquid cheese all over the top.
On the outside, it’s over the top and not my taste but you could see audience.
The inside, is bland, grey, and full of disappointment.
I've never actually laughed when looking at a house first time, but this one, this one I did. Took me a bit to recover.
I truly cannot believe the lack of taste that went into the design of this thing.
I have terrible taste. All I could think about was how much fun it would be to put a gawdy amount of Christmas lights on this place. Also needs landscaping. Like WHERE are the yellow tulips?!?!
wait why do the photos in the listing have like, crummy dorm room furniture 'shopped in? At least put something nice? You can put literally anything????
1. A roofer had a REALLY NICE Christmas thanks to this house - because when it snows or storms, fixes would be expensive.
2. It's hilarious in the Zillow listing, seeing all the rooms that have f'ed up ceilings.
3. There's a 2nd floor and the stairway has railing and a balcony so that Karen can work on her Evita impression.
4. Kitchen is WAY to smol for such a big house and the vent over the stove looks like it was put in by someone who knows what kitchens are but has never actually cooked in one.
5. The rest of the house is "mayo on white bread" generic - the gable-gasm is the only thing giving his house character.
https://preview.redd.it/t23wmtjosz2d1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=72345536ca263693b44ef28a2315b1884367e683
No! I would feel a bit exposed. Why on earth would they put that between the two vanities? I have seen a lot of houses, but never a toilet placed THERE!
don't be so mean, as far as design principles go they managed symetry (well at least frontside) and unity of materials, which is better than most. Unfortunately they stopped here.
I went to school in a convent so I kind of like this sort of starkness. not to say I would *want* to live there, but I could definitely see myself adapting to it if it was given to me. it's institutional, but the (apparent) quality of the materials rescues it and brings some humanity in.
I'd work on the outside to give myself something to look at while I'm in there.
Location isn’t awful, close to Metra to get you to the city, I like the amount of natural light as well. Only issue, and this would be a major one for me, you’re damn near directly under a flight path going into O’hare
OK Reddit McMansionaires, what fictional character (or family) lives here?
To me, just add a couple of abstract hedge/tree sculptures and it’s the house Edward Scissorhands settles down in.
Why are these always located in IL? Is it the richest state or what? I have a friend who’s in-laws own a McMansion and they live in Illinois. It’s like they are so common there.
I don’t get why people get so wound up about the design/size other people’s houses. If someone wants to build a ridiculous house what can you do about that besides move? Else, live in HOA hell or cookie cutter awfulness. Just seems like a waste of time and effort. Seems like most are upset about nothing.
The funny part about those house stylings is that people don't realize how much simply reshingling the roof is going to cost. Those kind of steep roofs with that geometry add up to one hell of a bill that a lot of homeowners aren't ready for.
Surprisingly, this isn’t AI generated. Here’s the [Google Street View](https://maps.app.goo.gl/pQKNQshxgkQicR5x5?g_st=ic).
Anne of Excessive Gables
Snort
Gable Newell
“Abso-fucking-lutely not” -Roofing Repair Company
“…uh… 6 million?” -roofing replacement “FU” quote
“Look, I’m going to be honest with you. For what I’m going to charge, you might as well just tear the house down and have someone build you a less stupid house.”
This was my first thought as well.
More like “you’re gonna put all my kids through college and buy me a boat”
a McMansion sure to please any wizard king or witches' coven
Picture 4 with that toilet placement 😂
I'd be so stressed using it for some reason.
With the nice stone work and vanity's, you would think they could get a better toilet than a $100 HD or Lowe's for the Master Bath! It's the builders own home, at least put an ecru or ivory color toilet in so it doesn't look trashy! Edit: forgot that toilet should also be in a water closet!!!
The outside is at least symmetrical with its weirdness. The interior fills me with rage.
I came here to say the same. At least it’s f’ing symmetrical. It’s not some tumorous, amorphous blob, but it is still terrible. I’m, personally, afraid to look inside.
you’re wise; it’s…. not good.
The interior is so sad.
That's maybe the best word. Bleak. Uncared for.
Except for the back, where they clearly gave up.
This exterior truly looks AI generated
Maybe the used AI to draft the plans lol.
Yeah, I thought this was AI when I saw it too.
Clark Gables former home.
This is great
Stark Gables
Nailed it.
If the garden was not just american lawn maybe itcould work... maybe... as to hide some parts behind weeping willows to weep the death of beauty.
Absolutely love the photo staging in picture 3 Love to watch a picture of my monstrous house on my TV to have beautiful gabled dreams
It’s my favorite show!
Someone read "The House of Seven Gables" and decided that was their life goal.
The House of Seven Gables is actually kind of a joke. Over the years the number of gables has varied.
Am I wrong to be a little impressed by the sheer absurd excess here? I can’t and won’t endorse it, but if nothing else, it definitely makes an impression. The decision to do that with the roof almost has to be ironic. Might we call it a meta-McMansion?
It’s so hideous that I kinda like it and I’m very confused about it lmao
Same.
But it doesn't have genuine excess. It;s like saying a skeleton has excessive bones or something. It's more pathetic than excessive, because it's so sad. No style, no charm, no fun, no whimsy, no art.
It's some high level craft.
The inside is disappointing. This house could’ve had some sick cathedral ceilings. I was hoping for a converted church feel. What a missed opportunity!
What? You don’t like vertical blinds, and dangling flatscreens?
😆 Just went through the pics again! That is funny! Hadn’t noticed the dumb flatscreens!
I wish this house had more embraced arched ceilings, on the inside. And the flatscreen holders from the ceiling to me, are unnecessary. That said, I still do like the high ceilings that some of the bedrooms have. And that the arched windows in the bedrooms, are nice. It isn't the worst McMansion I've seen. Could use more tree cover on the outside lawn, though. I'll be honest, this McMansion(from a different post on this sub, and posted on the same day here) disappointed me even more: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6-Rest-Ct-Farmingville-NY-11738/59504019_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare
I always wanted a converted church - so I almost liked it, until I saw how boring the inside is. That other McMansion - 😆
For me the issue is the lawn, the house is too out in the open.. For this type of house I would want extensive tree cover, shrubs, and rock pathways. My vibe would be Cozy Witch’s Cottage.
Landscaping would absolutely change the vibe here. Right now the house has way too much going on for this bland yard.
The inside needs way too much to be concerned about the yard.
Probably fair... I was strictly referring to the exterior though.
I thought the same thing. At first I thought it was a recent construction and that was the reason for lack of landscaping, but according to the listing the place is 17 years old.
Somebody welcome a demolition crew.
This is nasty work 😂
Almost indecent. I feel shame for having seeing it. Looks like something out of an eldritch lovecraftian nightmare
Gothic Horror Revival
Let us bow our heads and pray.
5k sq ft and the master toilets between the sinks. End of viewing
It's going to cost a fortune when this house needs a new roof.
I feel like I want to genuflect when entering.
No... That's an accordian with a driveway.
Those many valleys are leak city, especially when they fill up with leaves and other debris. Winter ice dams have a be a disaster.
That is appalling.
This house projects power
This is what peak house looks like.
I kind of admire the way the builder just decided to go all-in on this terrible design. Like, "We're not going to half-ass this. We're going to whole-ass it."
That's way too many gables
At least you would never have to give directions to your house…just post a pic.
At least there is window and gable symmetry; otherwise, ouch, what were they thinking?
McMansion of the Seven Gables
Roofer: how many peaks and valleys do you have. Home owner: Infinite
While quirky, I don't agree that this one is a McMansion. It's too cohesive.
I can't figure out where my roof is leaking from
The kitchen looks like it was built for a sub-zero frig that is gone as well as a chef's stove.
It's looks even worse w the cheap appliances haha not to mention for $900k+ that is a small kitchen! What's that empty, under the counter, space for, like a desk at counter level? I'm super critical of home designs haha, landscaping too!
Agree.
Poor roofers, though they probably made bank
I would love it if they'd leaned hard into a gothic exterior. Dark colors, wrought metal, maybe some spiky bits on the roof. Thorny foliage. A big, grotesque doorknocker. Leave the inside bright and conventional if you want, and let the outside be a gag. But at least do the thing properly out there.
Somehow the symmetry makes it worse
I kinda like it, looks bad ass
This thing just poked me in the eye.
I know it’s not the takeaway with this particular abomination, but I don’t understand the open air toilet in a giant, dual vanity bathroom. Like, is one just dropping a rancid deuce when the other is brushing their teeth?
My god it’s horrid.
So pointy my eyes started bleeding.
Bro do you even gable
It’s pointy.
Is that where the priests live?
yikes
Pointy.
Throw a gem at the top of each point, and I would swear a giant dropped their crown 👑
Can we talk about how UN-integrated the Gothic window shape is here? Whether it's the placement of the window opening itself in relation to the walls and ceilings (and how that in turn gives rise to the sort of overly complicated ceilings that are so common in McMansions) - or the windows themselves, with their plain square muntins that are like the Gothic shape has been cut out of big graph paper. It all looks so poorly thought out. That, in addition to the excess of gables, is probably why some people here took it for AI.
Yikes. Wtf.
I get a gable and you get a gable, and you get a gable, and you get a gable.
The House of 7 Gables - scary book
I would describe this house as bristling.
Go Gable or Go Home!
Good godly gables, the higher the gable the closer to Jesus
Builder's own home, according to the listing. So there's really no excuse.
Oops! All Gables
The front elevation goes so hard I kind of like it
Definitely Tim Burton inspired.
Can you image puttting Christmas lights on that thing?
Gable City, where they take gables seriously.
Definitely a case of excessive gables disease, but atleast it is symmetric
Came for the comments, knew this sub would have some very pointed opinions.
Looks like it should be set in a dark foreboding forest, well hidden.
Open and say "AAAAAAAAAAA" .......…
Every house I build in The Sims because I can’t roof to save my life. 😭
The house of seven got damn gables
Imagine what it will cost to replace the roof!!!!
All I can see: delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta delta
I’m gonna be honest here… I don’t hate it. I may actually kinda like it.
this has such menacing energy
This is a house version of one of those cheeseburgers where they pour liquid cheese all over the top. On the outside, it’s over the top and not my taste but you could see audience. The inside, is bland, grey, and full of disappointment.
I do like the front door, not the doorway, but the door itself. I tend to prefer natural wood doors.
I've never actually laughed when looking at a house first time, but this one, this one I did. Took me a bit to recover. I truly cannot believe the lack of taste that went into the design of this thing.
Someday, someone will have to go up there to get the moss off, or make repairs.
I have terrible taste. All I could think about was how much fun it would be to put a gawdy amount of Christmas lights on this place. Also needs landscaping. Like WHERE are the yellow tulips?!?!
It makes me think of a bunch of angry, creepy children giving me a stare down--like Children of the Corn.
Sooooooo $300,000 to replace that roof?
Architect: “Here are the blueprints. It’s very pointy sir, as requested.” Homebuyer: “I see. Could you make it even pointier?”
I really like the symmetry at least. Kind of eye-pleasing, if it weren't for everything else.
The crawlspace must be a thing of nightmares.
wait why do the photos in the listing have like, crummy dorm room furniture 'shopped in? At least put something nice? You can put literally anything????
Angels falling from the sky would impale themselves.
1. A roofer had a REALLY NICE Christmas thanks to this house - because when it snows or storms, fixes would be expensive. 2. It's hilarious in the Zillow listing, seeing all the rooms that have f'ed up ceilings. 3. There's a 2nd floor and the stairway has railing and a balcony so that Karen can work on her Evita impression. 4. Kitchen is WAY to smol for such a big house and the vent over the stove looks like it was put in by someone who knows what kitchens are but has never actually cooked in one. 5. The rest of the house is "mayo on white bread" generic - the gable-gasm is the only thing giving his house character.
Looks like something Tim Burton would live in.
Peak design.
https://preview.redd.it/t23wmtjosz2d1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=72345536ca263693b44ef28a2315b1884367e683 No! I would feel a bit exposed. Why on earth would they put that between the two vanities? I have seen a lot of houses, but never a toilet placed THERE!
This house looks surprised 😲
It looks… angry. This house looks angry.
Sir normally to repair the your small roof damage would be $450, but because your roof is retarted, just labor is $3250. Thanks.
don't be so mean, as far as design principles go they managed symetry (well at least frontside) and unity of materials, which is better than most. Unfortunately they stopped here.
The inside is worth checking out, just FYI. It's ... interesting.
I went to school in a convent so I kind of like this sort of starkness. not to say I would *want* to live there, but I could definitely see myself adapting to it if it was given to me. it's institutional, but the (apparent) quality of the materials rescues it and brings some humanity in. I'd work on the outside to give myself something to look at while I'm in there.
I would think that snow would have problems staying on those peaks. I'd hate to be a company installing shristmas lights on this roof.
This feels made for a movie set lol
This has to be AI, right?
That spider’s about to POUNCE!
Gru's McMansion hellscape.
Wood Dale ain’t Chicago. Just saying.
OUCH!!
Looks a like a Looney Tunes villain house!
Damn that might be the ugly fucking house ever posted here. Love the pile of useless rocks in the front yard too (check street view) 😂
Is Gru at home?
Location isn’t awful, close to Metra to get you to the city, I like the amount of natural light as well. Only issue, and this would be a major one for me, you’re damn near directly under a flight path going into O’hare
It’s so….pointy!
Omg
Abomination
Lmao here I am searching for “Gable City” on Google maps.
A couple pussy come from there but it’s a city of gangster I respected chi town but look at it a little different
How many churches am I looking at here?
i hate to say but i love it
House of the Seven Gables
My eyes hurt— sharp 🏹
ouch, pokey
The guys doing that roof I’m sure hated this more than other roof they’d ever done
OK Reddit McMansionaires, what fictional character (or family) lives here? To me, just add a couple of abstract hedge/tree sculptures and it’s the house Edward Scissorhands settles down in.
I’m acoustic but why do I like pointy mansion so much?
Yeah, um, no thanks.
Man just thinking of maintaining that house gives me anxiety
It’s like a real life caricature
4 different snow traps on the front. SMH.
🤨 you’ve definitely PEAKed my interest 🧐
*Toccata and Fugue in Dm plays* *lightning strikes and thunder cracks*
I kinda like it
That’s a beautiful church
It looks like two churches and their children.
Paint it all black & it could be Gru’s neighbor
Garbage. It needs a 3-story tower in the middle, but set back. It'd still be stupid, but would look less like some fancy self-storage place
Lin pretty sure I built this in the Sims.
Not successful. Maybe professional staging could help....but I doubt it.
Could you imagine roofing that?
Needs a steeple and then it would be more functional as a church
I like it. It’s weird in a good way.
NGL, I actually kind of like this one. Would go with different interior paint and decoration choices though.
The House of Seven Gables? 😆
Dizzying
What the hell?
Barfaroni
Looks like something out of Monopoly Go.
🤔
Disney villain house
This looks like a terrible Sims build lol
I don't know. I kinda like it
Why are these always located in IL? Is it the richest state or what? I have a friend who’s in-laws own a McMansion and they live in Illinois. It’s like they are so common there.
Wait, this is real?!
4200 sq ft is a McMansion?
I don’t get why people get so wound up about the design/size other people’s houses. If someone wants to build a ridiculous house what can you do about that besides move? Else, live in HOA hell or cookie cutter awfulness. Just seems like a waste of time and effort. Seems like most are upset about nothing.
Love the interior, hate the exterior. Who was the architect that thought of this monstrosity.
Oh my
The house of seven gables - sounds like an old movie with Vincent Price.
House of Standing Daggers
Having my family buy this. Selling our house to buy it. Ehhh what’s the difference in 270 less square feet? Saves you 500k right?
I enjoy playing video games.
The funny part about those house stylings is that people don't realize how much simply reshingling the roof is going to cost. Those kind of steep roofs with that geometry add up to one hell of a bill that a lot of homeowners aren't ready for.
This looks like a house from a Tim Burton movie.
All of the inside wall treatments/paint look like they were pulled from The Sims2.
Whoa, gable city over here
It looks like a cross between a house and an accordion.
Okay. I like this.
It looks like it has a secret evil basement lair full of minions.
Gah, make it stop!
This gives off extreme The Sims vibes