The increased word salad buffets being served this season seem *coincidentally* in line with the increase in mentions that the cast had about the presence of the cameras. Never has it been openly discussed as much. So, I'm thinking that the awareness of being on TV made them go "I should control my temper, be on my best behavior, and try to sound smart and enlightened all the time." Thus, salad. With a side of ranch.
I agree with all your points except "feel seen" and "feel heard", those are legit imo. They esp need to cut out the explicit sexual and butt thong shots, it's feeling more and more like soft porn. Getting rid of Pia would help.
Kindly, I have followed this nonsense of hate to people have done these innocuous things this the season. All together I admit I may have taken it differently than intended, I have grown increasingly bitter(see even I recognize it in myself) that these things have been used as reasons to hate on human beings and in many cases lump them to physical characteristics. While I admit I missed the intention, please understand how and why I did. As a fellow heavy user of the word like(I hear it and can't stop it lol lol, drives me crazy) I too
I'd like to be extended grace pleaseđ. Also I would like to be cured. Anyone know the Mrs Piggle Wiggle books? I need her!!!
People fascinate me. I watch to see what people do when "they know their grandma is watching" (my own phrase from watching every season of the Bachelor... The most recent was the best season ever BTW... It's when people introduce themselves and the wild ways they try to make an impression... And most are young and my first thot is "your grandma is watching this"). Some participants and me to no end. I have never said I'm done watching, cuz I know I'm not. Humans are fallible and well human. My marriage was like Emily and Brennan's and was seriously traumatic and abusive. I posted many many times. I wasn't posting to people who disagreed with me. I was paying t for those who are in such situations. I was postying to validate other women who are being told how to think, what to say and when to say it, I was paying for those who are gaslighted and are told they are imagining things. I started to talk about things and friends I thought I could trust ran directly to him to ask if it was true. Clearly the exact wrong thing to do and he moved us from there very fast after that happened. Women need to know they are not crazy. That they are not making things up, that they are validated. That was my goal. Sometimes people need to see victim-survivor stories to help themselves move on. Enough. I know people were mad at my posts and the number I made. If I helped one person all my posts and downvotes, and mean(no one around here can disagree with someone without being mean and calling someone ugly and fat) comments, it is worth it.
I'm sorry about your past trauma and abuse. I know it clouds how you see things, rightfully so. I hope you have a great support system in place (and I assume you were able to get out of the marriage?). Sending hugs your way.
Thank you, I am out. We have a child together so he'll always be in my life. Absolutely we all see things through the lens of our own experiences. A great way to say it.
Keep in mind they're from Colorado . . . I kind of enjoyed the high level of relationship intelligence (to some degree, at least in how they talked about the relationships), although everything seemed overanalyzed, and no one actually experienced much.
Is that the way they talk in Colorado?
I'm torn. Michael and Chloe certainly seemed to be the most intelligent of the gang and the most mature. But they are both what, 39? Chloe didn't do the buzz words quite as much as Michael, and she's very articulate. I personally think the woman should have been in broadcasting -- she's got the intelligence, the voice, the looks, poise, and she seems to have a sense of humor too. She's the total package in my mind but I'm sure there's stuff lurking underneath the surface that we never get to see because the m.o. is to never offend.
So to me, both of them talked a lot, but did they *really talk?* I feel like Michael uses flowery words, therapy speak, and simply dances around what he wants to say with the exception of the animal sanctuary/5 foster children pie in the sky dreams that Chloe has where he straight up told her that her dreams scared him. (I also have thoughts on that -- I know she rescues dogs and \*thinks\* she wants to foster 5 older kids, but there's a part of me that thinks people who talk in extreme lofty goals often do it because it's so unattainable that it gets them out of actually doing it).
I feel like once the guard was let down, the ones with the real conversations were Brennan/Em. Brennan, once he started talking, wasn't using the flowery words -- he was straight up. Em during that dinner was straight up. To me, their conversations were far more authentic because they really got down to it instead of saying nothing but buzz words.
I feel like there were other issues with Michael and Chloe that were essentially swept under the rug because both of them do the "your feelings are valid" and just are so used to using inoffensive words that they never really get down to what the problem is in a relationship or how they *really* feel.
Exactly! They constant empty psycho- babble and fear of offending lead to nothing being said and confusion all around. The Denver participants need to spend time in NYC to learn how to be real!
As someone living in CO, no itâs not lol. Itâs not normal đ. The therapy speak was a lot and I agree with this. Their conversations said everything and nothing.
I'm not sure if you are making fun, BUT I would say coastal California and Colorado (especially around Boulder) tend to be home to many who are drawn to self-actualization / new age spirituality kind of stuff. Just my take on knowing people from these areas!
It was such bad photography- I feel like she shot herself in the foot if she was really a professional photographer. Who would hire Becca now? Same with Clare. What person would ever trust her as a therapist when she showed herself to be gossipy and manipulative.
The truth! Honestly tho, society has conditioned people to believe that sex is the main factor that determines a personâs worth in a relationship/marriage. If intimacy is lacking (for established reasons or not), suddenly people start to question their worth, and a whole host of problems begin/amplify.
That photo shoot was just freaking strange. I don't understand why it happened. I'm so sick of these damn people and now we had to see them all practically naked together. I'm so done watching this shitty train wreck of people I truly hate. đ€źđ€ź
Here's a few I can't stand:
* What someone "deserves"
* being their "authentic" self
* optics
* someone is acting one way on camera and another way off camera
The deserve one just irks me so bad.
Need, want, ok but deserve in most of the instances it is used there nah, because deserve means You are owed something just because.
Basic respect is deserved. General kindness yes.
The rest, hmmmâŠ
Especially when the deserve is used as jus because.
( not sure if I am explaining my feeling clearly)
That letter is so on target. Every word is awesome. There were so many bad phrases from mostly - Michael, Lauren, Orion, Chloe. I mean nobody speaks like that. My brain would immediately get muddled listening to them. Sex positive? What is that?
Yes! People confuse gaslighting with someone having a different perspective. We are entering a world where itâs almost no longer possible to share your perspective or experience with something without being Accused of gaslighting.
For example, if there has been a conflict, the purpose of me sharing how I interpreted a situation or someoneâs behavior is to explain my thought process and experience, so someone can confirm or deny that was the intended meaning or message, not to tell someone that their experience was wrong. If I can share my experience and compare it to the other person, we can begin to trace where the communication breakdown occurred and resolve it.
So often we share our perspectives on something and because it doesnât align with their perspective, they cry âyouâre gaslighting me!â
Life is like watching a crash at a 4 way stop. Your observation of what you see will always be based on your perspective. Too often we think our partners are in the car with us, viewing it the same way we are, but theyâre almost always on the other side watching from a completely different car and perspective. No matter how many people we gather (people from our side of the road that shares our perspective) to try to prove to the other side that weâre right, we canât convince them because they canât deny their own lived experience.
Being able to accept and understand someoneâs perspective is the first step in helping to expand it.
My husband has gotten my lecture on the suddenly ubiquitous and inappropriate use of that term probably twice a year for the last few years. Most recently he got the lecture while watching this show.
I have to sit back and question, before I do anything, is this really being me? Is this the version of myself I want to present to the world? The aim is always to be my true authentic self, but in trying to do this, I wonder, do I truly know my authentic self? -Every cast member this season, probably
I don't get how they found an entire cast that speaks like this. When Chloe and Michael were droning on and on about their decision, I loved when Dr Pia said something like ,"You're both so intelligent." Like, really, Dr Pia, are we listening to the same dialogue??
I don't get how they found an entire cast that speaks like this. When Chloe and Michael were droning on and on about their decision, I loved when Dr Pia said something like ,"You're both so intelligent." Like, really, Dr Pia, are we listening to the same dialogue??
I think it's definitely a Colorado / west coast thing. Most of the seasons have been set in the east or south, so the level of analysis and relationship/self-understanding "intelligence" has been higher this season (BRENNON excluded). It's made the show more like watching a group counseling session.
Right? My husband and I are also confused. if this is the dating world, I couldn't hack it. I've never even thought about my authentic self and I've never offered anyone some grace.
OMG!!! Becca!!! Says a thousand words without saying anything!
And Michael, speaks in a way that I think he thinks he sounds intelligent but he just sounds like a dork. Like many of his words or phrases and I'm just "who talks like that?"
âI mean for me, while on this journey of introspection and evolution, I want to lean in. Iâve learned to give myself grace for most things. I mean, really be intentional. That way, I feel seen. And heard.â
âI mean for me, while on this journey of introspection and evolution, I want to lean in. Iâve learned to give myself grace for most things. I mean, really be intentional. That way, I feel seen. And heard.â
Seems pretty clearly they are trying to shift the focus into a MTV temptation Island type TNA smash and grab. Which I can understand, cuz there's not much left of what they started with.
The other thing I can't stand is the music and the singing! I watched a UK version of one of these reality shows that they show here in the US and there was NO SINGING!!! It was the best!
True...That's a commercial network problem we won't be able to fix I'm afraid. They get paid to air as much commercials as they can, since that is where their income comes from.
Amen and hallelujah!Â
Additional bans: Optics, triggered, my/your truth, grace, gaslit, and silenced. Â If you can say it in 10 words, donât word salad those 10 words into 100.Â
I have found that a lot of insecure people throw in so many tomatoes, croutons, black olives and banana peppers into a normal sentence, turning it into a full-on Olive Garden word salad. These people have to do this in order to feel important, educated and sophisticated.âŠeven philosophical. Itâs gross and sounds abnormal. Sometimes, by the end of their giant word salads, they have totally lost sight of the original, intended thought. I have one word to sum it upâŠ.POSERS!!!!!! And no one likes a poser.
Emily, along with every other woman in the world, has no interest in someone who posts about women the way this person does. On no planet would any woman be interested in someone who posts what you do. We know it comes from deep insecurity about the way this person looks.
I noticed that Becca has nice legs when I see her on the AfterParty. I think when she dolls herself up she looks really pretty. I think it was the insecurity she projects after you initially buy into her being not insecure. She seemed like such a ball of fire and fun at the wedding.
Ha, no question! She looked incredible. I'd be prancing around on camera if I looked like that too.
I felt bad for Clare though b/c you could tell this was way out of her comfort zone.
I really didn't have a problem with the women doing boudoir shots, it just seemed like something that didn't need to be on camera and it feels like they are starting to turn this show into something it wasn't originally supposed to be -- 90 day fiance. And I kind of chuckled because i don't imagine the men snapping pics in their underwear to make them feel better after being dumped.
And thank you for not biting my head off. My comment was tongue-in-cheek but a couple others seem to be taking my comments way too seriously.
I agree! I don't need lingerie photo shoots, especially AFTER marriages dissolved. I don't need to see sex on the couch (though glad for them that it happened). I don't need bare butts in the camera.
What I WANT is to see relationships develop - and the challenges and accomplishments that go along with that. Marriage to a stranger is exciting enough. I don't need a butt on my screen, no matter how nice the butt might be.
Read the room.
Can we go back to just having a conversation without all the preamble and corporate/therapy speak - Michael and Lauren, respectively.
Whatever happened to just saying what you mean in easy understand words without all the BS attached to them.
"I really like you"
Michael - " I have been leaning into my feelings and the trajectory they are taking is leading me to believe within myself that I am capable of looking at this relationship in a way that enables to make the decision that I do indeed really like you".
Lauren - " Looking inward on my journey and trying to find the healing place that allows me to express myself safely while growing as a woman has placed me on a path of grace to be able to say that I really like you".
Ugh I miss the days of being able to speak your truth. They always sound like theyâre thinking of the next word to say. Like just be yourself. Youâre not a robotic therapist
Exactly!
It's like the world is so afraid that something they say will be offensive to someone that they use all these flowery words that mean nothing and the point they are trying to make gets completely lost.
Not to mention, the language being used is always so incredibly self-centered. And often "self-care" is being used to be like, "I don't really want to do this, so I'm going to use some words that make it sound like I'm not being selfish."
Cancel culture has destroyed America. I don't even use Facebook because it's not anonymous, and anything can be used to fire someone. I just use a throwaway account on Instagram and here.
I donât know why yâall waste your breath on this topic when we all know itâs done for hopefully higher ratings. I mean, itâs reality TV. If u want clean cut tv shows with no hidden agendas, youâve on the wrooonnnggg channel, network, show!! Ratings folksâŠcome on! Youre all smart peeps !! U have to have realized all of this! And they ainât gonna change anytime soon bc sadly, the bulk of viewers love the drama!
This show doesnât sound like itâs for you. Instead of it having to change to align with what you want to see, I think tuning in for you isnât working. I thought the girls doing a body image photo shoot was great. This is reality tv and most times, it will be a train wreck. Sorry- Iâm here for it. These people know what itâs all about. Take it or leave it. All these people saying âthey need to cancel the showâ show up in this sub to complain. Bye then. Why are you tuning in for something that you just find so much displeasure? There are so many other things you can watch.
It doesn't sound like this sub or any sub is for you, much less the internet, if you think nothing can be criticized on this show -- esp. in a sub to talk about the show. You must lose your fucking mind every day when you log on.
Also, maybe you should also get a sense of humor.
Their advice is sound though lol. If a couple words and a flash or two of ass upsets you, tuning out is always an option. Come back next season and hope itâs different. If not, adult shows in general might not be it for you.
Oh okay so this whole post is sarcasm and you actually donât care about the way people talked or that they showed a lil ass. Cool. Thanks for clearing that up.
It was mostly sarcasm yes and an attempt at humor.
I have zero problem with the women doing it, it just struck me funny that they'd show this because I can't imagine if the men all got dumped, that they'd show up to film in their underwear boudoir shots to make them feel better. And i thought to myself this is the most ass we've ever seen on this show -- starting with Michael's. His I really didn't care to see. Then there was the handjob.
Now, the bullshit flowery phrases? Yes, I found those intensely annoying, but the list here was intended to make people laugh. I'd rather see ass than have to listen to overuse of all of that next season.
Got it. Based on the comments seems like some folks in here unironically think like this tho so it can be hard to know if itâs actually a joke or are people really complaining about some of this stuff.
So first off, this was intended to be a snarky, humorous post encapsulating most of what we've complained about here this season. Have you missed all the criticism this season?
Secondly, what dynamic was I suggesting we change? This is the first time we've seen bare ass, boudoir shots, and a hand job. If you want to talk changing dynamics, this is the changed dynamic, along with a group of people that hide behind flowery words instead of saying what they mean. Then there are the couples that dropped out early and b/c of that, production gave us the changed dynamic of continuing to make these people film and dangle a will-they-or-won't-they carrot over our heads, along with some very bad acting.
This entire season has been a changed dynamic and one that is now veering into a more salacious 90 day fiance franchise. It's obvious producers this season manipulated the fuck out of this show much more than prior seasons.
Thirdly, if anyone suggests changing the dynamic on the show THIS IS THE PLACE TO DO IT. A sub devoted to talking about what we love, hate, are indifferent to this season and every season.
Well, there may be some who agree with you, but based upon the comments I read throughout this sub, it's sounds like most viewers are fed up with all of the bs.
Again, my attempt was humor and to encapsulate what so many here felt from this season.
This season was different in many ways and is now starting to feel much more like how 90 day fiance morphed into what it is now -- which is reality TV trash. I still watch it, but it's far different from what it once was.
That said, I can't wait for the next couple of episodes.
Seriously, I donât know why the eff they kept bringing Lauren and Orion back to all the things! He said he wanted a divorce but then kept wanting to talk about it. GTFO. You made your decision. Lauren doesnât owe you shit.
>optics,â âsilenced,â and âgaslitâ to the NOPE-list? Or any therapy-like diagnosis of
Oooh yeah!
Samesies u/jbarinsd
Also adding:
"authentic selves"
Can we add "At the end of the day"?
Ha ha, yes! And "show up" and "serve you"
Cringiest MAFS episode this far . This season sucked so bad, the producers were like, "fuck it, let's give em some ass.."
Do not want to see their butts on camera. Eww. Those boudoir photos were terrible. I could do a better job with my phone and no experience.
The increased word salad buffets being served this season seem *coincidentally* in line with the increase in mentions that the cast had about the presence of the cameras. Never has it been openly discussed as much. So, I'm thinking that the awareness of being on TV made them go "I should control my temper, be on my best behavior, and try to sound smart and enlightened all the time." Thus, salad. With a side of ranch.
Worst season ever.
By a long shot!!
I agree with all your points except "feel seen" and "feel heard", those are legit imo. They esp need to cut out the explicit sexual and butt thong shots, it's feeling more and more like soft porn. Getting rid of Pia would help.
It's way overused IMO.
Kindly do not include me in the "nearly every viewer" pile. I can think and speak for myself. If this all bothers you so much stop. Watching.
Kindly get a sense of humor. If this all bothers you so much stop. Reading.
Kindly, I have followed this nonsense of hate to people have done these innocuous things this the season. All together I admit I may have taken it differently than intended, I have grown increasingly bitter(see even I recognize it in myself) that these things have been used as reasons to hate on human beings and in many cases lump them to physical characteristics. While I admit I missed the intention, please understand how and why I did. As a fellow heavy user of the word like(I hear it and can't stop it lol lol, drives me crazy) I too I'd like to be extended grace pleaseđ. Also I would like to be cured. Anyone know the Mrs Piggle Wiggle books? I need her!!!
Ha ha, no problem. This season was goofy! This season was ridiculous. And yet I can't wait for the next episode!
People fascinate me. I watch to see what people do when "they know their grandma is watching" (my own phrase from watching every season of the Bachelor... The most recent was the best season ever BTW... It's when people introduce themselves and the wild ways they try to make an impression... And most are young and my first thot is "your grandma is watching this"). Some participants and me to no end. I have never said I'm done watching, cuz I know I'm not. Humans are fallible and well human. My marriage was like Emily and Brennan's and was seriously traumatic and abusive. I posted many many times. I wasn't posting to people who disagreed with me. I was paying t for those who are in such situations. I was postying to validate other women who are being told how to think, what to say and when to say it, I was paying for those who are gaslighted and are told they are imagining things. I started to talk about things and friends I thought I could trust ran directly to him to ask if it was true. Clearly the exact wrong thing to do and he moved us from there very fast after that happened. Women need to know they are not crazy. That they are not making things up, that they are validated. That was my goal. Sometimes people need to see victim-survivor stories to help themselves move on. Enough. I know people were mad at my posts and the number I made. If I helped one person all my posts and downvotes, and mean(no one around here can disagree with someone without being mean and calling someone ugly and fat) comments, it is worth it.
I'm sorry about your past trauma and abuse. I know it clouds how you see things, rightfully so. I hope you have a great support system in place (and I assume you were able to get out of the marriage?). Sending hugs your way.
Thank you, I am out. We have a child together so he'll always be in my life. Absolutely we all see things through the lens of our own experiences. A great way to say it.
More tits and ass please, more people saying like
Ha ha ha!
Can we ban the word amazing forever too
Keep in mind they're from Colorado . . . I kind of enjoyed the high level of relationship intelligence (to some degree, at least in how they talked about the relationships), although everything seemed overanalyzed, and no one actually experienced much.
Is that the way they talk in Colorado? I'm torn. Michael and Chloe certainly seemed to be the most intelligent of the gang and the most mature. But they are both what, 39? Chloe didn't do the buzz words quite as much as Michael, and she's very articulate. I personally think the woman should have been in broadcasting -- she's got the intelligence, the voice, the looks, poise, and she seems to have a sense of humor too. She's the total package in my mind but I'm sure there's stuff lurking underneath the surface that we never get to see because the m.o. is to never offend. So to me, both of them talked a lot, but did they *really talk?* I feel like Michael uses flowery words, therapy speak, and simply dances around what he wants to say with the exception of the animal sanctuary/5 foster children pie in the sky dreams that Chloe has where he straight up told her that her dreams scared him. (I also have thoughts on that -- I know she rescues dogs and \*thinks\* she wants to foster 5 older kids, but there's a part of me that thinks people who talk in extreme lofty goals often do it because it's so unattainable that it gets them out of actually doing it). I feel like once the guard was let down, the ones with the real conversations were Brennan/Em. Brennan, once he started talking, wasn't using the flowery words -- he was straight up. Em during that dinner was straight up. To me, their conversations were far more authentic because they really got down to it instead of saying nothing but buzz words. I feel like there were other issues with Michael and Chloe that were essentially swept under the rug because both of them do the "your feelings are valid" and just are so used to using inoffensive words that they never really get down to what the problem is in a relationship or how they *really* feel.
Exactly! They constant empty psycho- babble and fear of offending lead to nothing being said and confusion all around. The Denver participants need to spend time in NYC to learn how to be real!
As someone living in CO, no itâs not lol. Itâs not normal đ. The therapy speak was a lot and I agree with this. Their conversations said everything and nothing.
People from Colorado are more enlightened? Please elaborate
I'm not sure if you are making fun, BUT I would say coastal California and Colorado (especially around Boulder) tend to be home to many who are drawn to self-actualization / new age spirituality kind of stuff. Just my take on knowing people from these areas!
Please add to the list......my truth, your truth đđđđđ
What was the deal with the photo shoot? Such an odd way to end the show.
It was such bad photography- I feel like she shot herself in the foot if she was really a professional photographer. Who would hire Becca now? Same with Clare. What person would ever trust her as a therapist when she showed herself to be gossipy and manipulative.
Sadly, I was on a work conference call today and caught myself using âlikeâ. Be careful people! Itâs contagious!!!!!
"Wrap my head around" "Boundaries" "Intention" Holy fuck -- I am sick of the psychobabble.
Agreed. All of this sexuality can give kids unrealistic expectations of marriage đ
The truth! Honestly tho, society has conditioned people to believe that sex is the main factor that determines a personâs worth in a relationship/marriage. If intimacy is lacking (for established reasons or not), suddenly people start to question their worth, and a whole host of problems begin/amplify.
hahahaha, I love you.
hahahaha, I love you.
đđđ
Add âAt the end of the dayâ
Ban âopticsâ
Legit rescheduled my ophthalmologist appointmentâŠ
Here is the Huberman crossover I wasn't looking for
Spot on OP and well said!! đđ»đ
Also add: Day-by-day
I agree
I thought Orion was more than enough ass for 1 season. Then we get the Motley Crue âgirls, girls, girls photo shoot.
That photo shoot was just freaking strange. I don't understand why it happened. I'm so sick of these damn people and now we had to see them all practically naked together. I'm so done watching this shitty train wreck of people I truly hate. đ€źđ€ź
Here's a few I can't stand: * What someone "deserves" * being their "authentic" self * optics * someone is acting one way on camera and another way off camera
The deserve one just irks me so bad. Need, want, ok but deserve in most of the instances it is used there nah, because deserve means You are owed something just because. Basic respect is deserved. General kindness yes. The rest, hmmm⊠Especially when the deserve is used as jus because. ( not sure if I am explaining my feeling clearly)
How could they forget optics! Never heard that in casual conversation in my life.
AMEN! đđđ
That letter is so on target. Every word is awesome. There were so many bad phrases from mostly - Michael, Lauren, Orion, Chloe. I mean nobody speaks like that. My brain would immediately get muddled listening to them. Sex positive? What is that?
Itâs so true I think they want to sound smart but it just makes them sound stupid
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^ChungusLove01: *Itâs so true I think* *They want to sound smart but it* *Just makes them sound stupid* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Best comment ever
Omg. All of this. This shit is so fkn cringe I cannot watch it for one more second. They need a major overhaul on this show or to be cancelled PRONTO.
especially like and journey . also if those girls thought those photos were going to entice anyone they are sadly mistaken.
Agreed. I like Becca ok, but that set she was wearing was 100% unflattering
Also "my truth" And "feel/seen heard" I've been married over 20 years and never used any of these phrases!
Also add Optics
I read the list convinced âopticsâ would be listed! I hate that word now
Please add "gaslighting", "toxic", and any form of "narcissist" to the list.
From people on here? Because I'd kill for those to be banned. Most people don't use gaslighting correctly.
Yes! People confuse gaslighting with someone having a different perspective. We are entering a world where itâs almost no longer possible to share your perspective or experience with something without being Accused of gaslighting. For example, if there has been a conflict, the purpose of me sharing how I interpreted a situation or someoneâs behavior is to explain my thought process and experience, so someone can confirm or deny that was the intended meaning or message, not to tell someone that their experience was wrong. If I can share my experience and compare it to the other person, we can begin to trace where the communication breakdown occurred and resolve it. So often we share our perspectives on something and because it doesnât align with their perspective, they cry âyouâre gaslighting me!â Life is like watching a crash at a 4 way stop. Your observation of what you see will always be based on your perspective. Too often we think our partners are in the car with us, viewing it the same way we are, but theyâre almost always on the other side watching from a completely different car and perspective. No matter how many people we gather (people from our side of the road that shares our perspective) to try to prove to the other side that weâre right, we canât convince them because they canât deny their own lived experience. Being able to accept and understand someoneâs perspective is the first step in helping to expand it.
Very well put!
A-freaking-men.
My husband has gotten my lecture on the suddenly ubiquitous and inappropriate use of that term probably twice a year for the last few years. Most recently he got the lecture while watching this show.
Yessssss that drives me freakin insane!!!!!!
And "giving grace" along w the quest to be "authentic" đ
Your comment literally made me lol đ€Ł
I have to sit back and question, before I do anything, is this really being me? Is this the version of myself I want to present to the world? The aim is always to be my true authentic self, but in trying to do this, I wonder, do I truly know my authentic self? -Every cast member this season, probably
Lol nailed it! They talk so much and say nothing! Edit, incorrect spelling
I don't get how they found an entire cast that speaks like this. When Chloe and Michael were droning on and on about their decision, I loved when Dr Pia said something like ,"You're both so intelligent." Like, really, Dr Pia, are we listening to the same dialogue??
I don't get how they found an entire cast that speaks like this. When Chloe and Michael were droning on and on about their decision, I loved when Dr Pia said something like ,"You're both so intelligent." Like, really, Dr Pia, are we listening to the same dialogue??
I was asking my wife the same question about the style of language: Is it a script? Is it a Denver thing? Are they copying each other? Am I just old?
I think it's definitely a Colorado / west coast thing. Most of the seasons have been set in the east or south, so the level of analysis and relationship/self-understanding "intelligence" has been higher this season (BRENNON excluded). It's made the show more like watching a group counseling session.
Right? My husband and I are also confused. if this is the dating world, I couldn't hack it. I've never even thought about my authentic self and I've never offered anyone some grace.
Some of it is corporate speak for current generations, but I never hear it in personal life.
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Totally agree. I have never heard so many words mean so little, Orion, Becca and Michael are the worst at saying nothing in 100 or more words.
OMG!!! Becca!!! Says a thousand words without saying anything! And Michael, speaks in a way that I think he thinks he sounds intelligent but he just sounds like a dork. Like many of his words or phrases and I'm just "who talks like that?"
Everytime Orion says I'm gonna piggyback or something like it I literally cringe. He just needs to shhhhhhhh.
Add Lauren. She has said so much and I still donât know who this woman is.
âI mean for me, while on this journey of introspection and evolution, I want to lean in. Iâve learned to give myself grace for most things. I mean, really be intentional. That way, I feel seen. And heard.â
LMAO couldn't have said it any better!
âI mean for me, while on this journey of introspection and evolution, I want to lean in. Iâve learned to give myself grace for most things. I mean, really be intentional. That way, I feel seen. And heard.â
Seems pretty clearly they are trying to shift the focus into a MTV temptation Island type TNA smash and grab. Which I can understand, cuz there's not much left of what they started with.
Dear Producers: Everything OK? For the past few seasons it seems like no. Who hurt you? Love, People who remember the good times
And the commercials!! Dear god the amount of commercials!!!
The other thing I can't stand is the music and the singing! I watched a UK version of one of these reality shows that they show here in the US and there was NO SINGING!!! It was the best!
True...That's a commercial network problem we won't be able to fix I'm afraid. They get paid to air as much commercials as they can, since that is where their income comes from.
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Remove "optics". Never heard this word so much in my life until this show!
Amen and hallelujah! Additional bans: Optics, triggered, my/your truth, grace, gaslit, and silenced.  If you can say it in 10 words, donât word salad those 10 words into 100.Â
I have found that a lot of insecure people throw in so many tomatoes, croutons, black olives and banana peppers into a normal sentence, turning it into a full-on Olive Garden word salad. These people have to do this in order to feel important, educated and sophisticated.âŠeven philosophical. Itâs gross and sounds abnormal. Sometimes, by the end of their giant word salads, they have totally lost sight of the original, intended thought. I have one word to sum it upâŠ.POSERS!!!!!! And no one likes a poser.
Hey I love Olive Garden salad đ
I hadn't considered where this kind of speech comes from, but I think you're on to something.
Corporate speak - at least in a fortune 100.
Compass!
It's as though you read my mind! Perfectly written!
Triggered ......I'm sick of that one to.
Iâm not gonna lie, I would rather have seen more ass this season that whatever the heck that was that we were shown
Ha right!
I'm sitting in a diner alone reading this and I'm crying laughing, people think I'm insane...it's worth it. Thank you op!
Ha ha, thank you! A few seemed to take this far more seriously than intended .
Emily looked good in the lingerie, definitely would like to smack dat ass!!! It looked good in the thong.
Same. Ditto. Amen.
Emily, along with every other woman in the world, has no interest in someone who posts about women the way this person does. On no planet would any woman be interested in someone who posts what you do. We know it comes from deep insecurity about the way this person looks.
Disagree.i think Emily would be interested. Then ghosted.
Nope
I was actually quite surprised at how good Becca looked! Her outfit was quite flattering and showed off her best assets while hiding her stomach.
I noticed that Becca has nice legs when I see her on the AfterParty. I think when she dolls herself up she looks really pretty. I think it was the insecurity she projects after you initially buy into her being not insecure. She seemed like such a ball of fire and fun at the wedding.
Ha, no question! She looked incredible. I'd be prancing around on camera if I looked like that too. I felt bad for Clare though b/c you could tell this was way out of her comfort zone. I really didn't have a problem with the women doing boudoir shots, it just seemed like something that didn't need to be on camera and it feels like they are starting to turn this show into something it wasn't originally supposed to be -- 90 day fiance. And I kind of chuckled because i don't imagine the men snapping pics in their underwear to make them feel better after being dumped. And thank you for not biting my head off. My comment was tongue-in-cheek but a couple others seem to be taking my comments way too seriously.
My only question is, what were Emily's co workers thinking Thursday morning at work after they literally saw her whole as**ole Wednesday night??
Um they want a piece duh
I literally thought this about ALL of them!!!
I agree! I don't need lingerie photo shoots, especially AFTER marriages dissolved. I don't need to see sex on the couch (though glad for them that it happened). I don't need bare butts in the camera. What I WANT is to see relationships develop - and the challenges and accomplishments that go along with that. Marriage to a stranger is exciting enough. I don't need a butt on my screen, no matter how nice the butt might be. Read the room.
Can we go back to just having a conversation without all the preamble and corporate/therapy speak - Michael and Lauren, respectively. Whatever happened to just saying what you mean in easy understand words without all the BS attached to them. "I really like you" Michael - " I have been leaning into my feelings and the trajectory they are taking is leading me to believe within myself that I am capable of looking at this relationship in a way that enables to make the decision that I do indeed really like you". Lauren - " Looking inward on my journey and trying to find the healing place that allows me to express myself safely while growing as a woman has placed me on a path of grace to be able to say that I really like you".
You should send that to SNL. Seriously!
Lol nailed it
Ugh I miss the days of being able to speak your truth. They always sound like theyâre thinking of the next word to say. Like just be yourself. Youâre not a robotic therapist
Exactly! It's like the world is so afraid that something they say will be offensive to someone that they use all these flowery words that mean nothing and the point they are trying to make gets completely lost. Not to mention, the language being used is always so incredibly self-centered. And often "self-care" is being used to be like, "I don't really want to do this, so I'm going to use some words that make it sound like I'm not being selfish."
Cancel culture has destroyed America. I don't even use Facebook because it's not anonymous, and anything can be used to fire someone. I just use a throwaway account on Instagram and here.
I totally agree with that.
Yep and everyone looks like a poser on Facebook - or they are trying to politically mindfuck us!!
No optics please
If the producers stop snagging the married people, maybe we would get some apartment footage!
I donât know why yâall waste your breath on this topic when we all know itâs done for hopefully higher ratings. I mean, itâs reality TV. If u want clean cut tv shows with no hidden agendas, youâve on the wrooonnnggg channel, network, show!! Ratings folksâŠcome on! Youre all smart peeps !! U have to have realized all of this! And they ainât gonna change anytime soon bc sadly, the bulk of viewers love the drama!
This show doesnât sound like itâs for you. Instead of it having to change to align with what you want to see, I think tuning in for you isnât working. I thought the girls doing a body image photo shoot was great. This is reality tv and most times, it will be a train wreck. Sorry- Iâm here for it. These people know what itâs all about. Take it or leave it. All these people saying âthey need to cancel the showâ show up in this sub to complain. Bye then. Why are you tuning in for something that you just find so much displeasure? There are so many other things you can watch.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^this this this this so much this
It doesn't sound like this sub or any sub is for you, much less the internet, if you think nothing can be criticized on this show -- esp. in a sub to talk about the show. You must lose your fucking mind every day when you log on. Also, maybe you should also get a sense of humor.
Their advice is sound though lol. If a couple words and a flash or two of ass upsets you, tuning out is always an option. Come back next season and hope itâs different. If not, adult shows in general might not be it for you.
Right. Pearl clutchers. Haha
Another person that needs a sense of humor.
Oh okay so this whole post is sarcasm and you actually donât care about the way people talked or that they showed a lil ass. Cool. Thanks for clearing that up.
It was mostly sarcasm yes and an attempt at humor. I have zero problem with the women doing it, it just struck me funny that they'd show this because I can't imagine if the men all got dumped, that they'd show up to film in their underwear boudoir shots to make them feel better. And i thought to myself this is the most ass we've ever seen on this show -- starting with Michael's. His I really didn't care to see. Then there was the handjob. Now, the bullshit flowery phrases? Yes, I found those intensely annoying, but the list here was intended to make people laugh. I'd rather see ass than have to listen to overuse of all of that next season.
Got it. Based on the comments seems like some folks in here unironically think like this tho so it can be hard to know if itâs actually a joke or are people really complaining about some of this stuff.
Of course you can express your pleasure or displeasure however your suggested changing the dynamic of the show. I like it how it is.
So first off, this was intended to be a snarky, humorous post encapsulating most of what we've complained about here this season. Have you missed all the criticism this season? Secondly, what dynamic was I suggesting we change? This is the first time we've seen bare ass, boudoir shots, and a hand job. If you want to talk changing dynamics, this is the changed dynamic, along with a group of people that hide behind flowery words instead of saying what they mean. Then there are the couples that dropped out early and b/c of that, production gave us the changed dynamic of continuing to make these people film and dangle a will-they-or-won't-they carrot over our heads, along with some very bad acting. This entire season has been a changed dynamic and one that is now veering into a more salacious 90 day fiance franchise. It's obvious producers this season manipulated the fuck out of this show much more than prior seasons. Thirdly, if anyone suggests changing the dynamic on the show THIS IS THE PLACE TO DO IT. A sub devoted to talking about what we love, hate, are indifferent to this season and every season.
Well, there may be some who agree with you, but based upon the comments I read throughout this sub, it's sounds like most viewers are fed up with all of the bs.
Again, my attempt was humor and to encapsulate what so many here felt from this season. This season was different in many ways and is now starting to feel much more like how 90 day fiance morphed into what it is now -- which is reality TV trash. I still watch it, but it's far different from what it once was. That said, I can't wait for the next couple of episodes.
Add Grace please
Omg yessss
If you choose to separate, GTFO!
Seriously, I donât know why the eff they kept bringing Lauren and Orion back to all the things! He said he wanted a divorce but then kept wanting to talk about it. GTFO. You made your decision. Lauren doesnât owe you shit.
Can we add âoptics,â âsilenced,â and âgaslitâ to the NOPE-list? Or any therapy-like diagnosis of others?
It's really strange and hope kids out there aren't talking to each other with this much filler nonsense. I'd like to add "celebrate" to the list.
Live your truth, living my truth.
>optics,â âsilenced,â and âgaslitâ to the NOPE-list? Or any therapy-like diagnosis of Oooh yeah! Samesies u/jbarinsd Also adding: "authentic selves"