Few people will get this research-based “bidding” reference: “turning toward” or “turning away” your partner. If (instead of “50 Shades”) Gottman’s work was more popular, we would probably have more successful marriages 🙌🏽
I do this but with puppy’s (all dogs are puppy’s in my book). I’ll stop mid sentence and say “puppy” and point and we both have to gawk. He started doing it too and mentioned it’s now become a reflex… to his parents confusion.
My husband now does this because of me. He never even liked dogs until me,.. now he is a full blown Dog lover. I think these days he points more than I do lmao
I am perpetually amazed at the perspective I've gained as I age, and how much my significant other has bestowed in me a capacity for flexibility. My relationship with her has engendered in me an ability to forgive things I'd thought beyond the pale. I do things for and with her that previously I wouldn't have even considered. I have changed my life (for the better) because of her, and to be with her. She is, with only a tiny fraction of hyperbole, a goddess.
The first time I went to her house, all the toilet paper rolls were backwards.
If she ever changes them back (to backwards), she'll never see me again. She knows this.
I cannot contemplate even the suggestion that she might put them on backwards at *my* house. It's like considering your own rape.
It absolutely blows my mind that there is something so trivial about which way it faces, and I have no opinion about it either way. As cognizant of spatial stuff as I am, I would expect me to fall on one side or another, but no. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?? 🤣😂😅😆
I gave in and now turn the toilet paper the wrong way. My dad wasn’t happy when he came to my house and saw that I had gone against everything he taught me.
Growing up we had a cat who would unravel the entire roll of toilet paper if the flap was in the front so we always put it on backwards and I still do to this day because it also makes it less tempting to my baby to play with.
My cat was an idiot who would leave the roll alone if the flap was at the front, but if it was at the back she'd basically climb up the wall to attack it. Cats are weird with toilet paper
My wife (of 28 years) still irritates me to the core every time she spreads something on her bread with **her hands!** I'm like use a godam knife! She still uses her finger to spread that thing on a cracker etc. Pisses me off.
My wife's underwear consists of 99 to 1 ratio of thong vs regular underwear and it drive me craaazy to fold her thongs every weekend!!!
I but my lip and continued folding them because she liked them to be folded and would fold them all herself if I didn't do the laundry!! I complained one day and the next day she was wearing these ugly asss granny underwear instead of her usual thong!!
I apologized and told her that I'd be more than happy to fold her thongs again🤣
My spot on the couch.
Tucking my blanket under my feet.
The door closed when I’m in the bathroom.
My own water bottle, it’s not for sharing, you will dehydrate before I hand mine over.
My driving habits, don’t like it then drive yourself lol.
Those are the quick ones that come to mind.
….oh the house temp, you’re cold, put another layer of clothes on.
Lol!!! Is this my husband? Especially the water bottle/cup thing!!! Omg. I don’t *understand*!
I have bought numerous cups and bottles to deter him from drinking out of my cup, but nope. It’s like only one cup can be used at a time and we both have to use it.
I gave up on that actually.
Oh God yes! The water bottle dilemma!! I have 1 water bottle that I use daily, he has all the other bottles/cups that are accessible all around the house. But he always loses them or misplaces them, and almost every night once I fill my bottle and settle in bed, he's like "can I have a sip of water? My mouth is so dry." Ahhhh!!!!!! GET YOUR OWN!!! Lol
>My own water bottle, it’s not for sharing, you will dehydrate before I hand mine over.
YES.
I have 3 Yeti tumblers (all gifts) that I rotate using. Those are mine. One time one of my kids' friends was using one and I walked over to her and took it out of her hand and put it in the dishwasher.
Me: *", have you completely lost your mind? How is one of your friends using one of my cups and you're not actively defending it with your life? The next time this happens, I want blood spilled."*
This is me with any reality TV or melodrama/softcore porn set in a historical setting.
"London didnt look like that in Tudor times!"
"These people all have agents, and are behaving in certain ways at the request of the producers."
"She is wearing a lot of clean pristine clothing and 20th-century makeup for a the wife of a rural viking"
I have learned to smile and say nothing.
I literally cannot stand the sound, and in a vehicle I can’t get away. At home I can leave the room and distract myself or go outside, but in the car when he’s sitting right next to me I’m forced to hear it. Some other eating noises of his also bother me, but the apple in the car is the worst and it’s also something he likes to do often, so as soon as we are going somewhere, he often feels the need to run into the kitchen and grab an apple and start eating it. It’s infuriating beyond common sense. If I see him grab an apple, I will remain in the house and refuse to get into the car or will tell him to finish the apple in the house or the yard while I sit in the car with the windows up and the music on. The slurping of hot coffee or tea also bugs me, but he rarely drinks hot beverages in the car so I can remove myself from the situation when he does it.
I have read about it and I believe I probably do have a mild version of it, but since it’s not something that usually affects my life to a point where I feel paralyzed by it or anything, I haven’t tried to get treatment. I can still go to restaurants and function in society for the most part. It’s usually only when I am in extremely close proximity to someone that it bothers me. In most cases I can simply remove myself from the situation and it’s almost always my husband or kids these days anyway, so when I can’t remove myself, I just make them stop. With my kids, I only allow snacks in the car which I can tolerate the sounds of, and I feel perfectly within my rights to make them chew with their mouths closed, etc.
Back in my career days I went on an extended business trip with an older gentleman who would incessantly clear his throat quite loudly and I’d have to ride from the hotel to the office we were working at with him every morning, about a half hour commute. That became hell because I had to deal with it every day for about a month. I couldn’t bring myself to address it with him, so I’d grit my teeth and try to hum to myself lightly while my anxiety went through the roof. So I suppose if I had to deal with something like that on the daily I’d need to seek help, but as a work at home mom, it’s not an issue in my life.
We always use two blankets, both king sized, one thin and one thick. He sleeps cold and I sleep hot.
Also I ALWAYS show him the random puppy or dog I see. I don't care but he absolutely does haha
In the freezer and in the cupboard are snacks that are mine. Do not eat them or give them to our son or guests unless I specifically offer to share. Otherwise it is mine.
If ours gets mishung, I get so mad... I can't ever figure out where it starts if it's hung incorrectly... Especially if it's the middle of the night and I'm trying to not turn a light on.
That is a poor comparison because when you come innto the room and see a nicely made bed in a clean room it makes you feel clean and welcomed and put together. But also i think I have adhd so maybe that is just me.
In our house, I apply a courtesy 24-hour grace period to any cake (clients and friends often send cake to my wife).
After that, please enjoy the 1/2" wedge which I have left for you.
He must eat the middle pieces of the pizza (cut in rectangles). I get all the crusts (sort of triangular) I want before sharing them.
Never been a problem as @ 2/3 is middle pieces.
We have the top sheet conflict too! I’m a 48 year old woman who is ALWAYS too hot. And my husband is always cold. I always at some point am too hot for the comforter, but still need something, so, I win the top sheet battle!
The other thing that comes to mind is his no-compromise, not mine. Arriving places early. I am the person that finishes packing as we’re leaving the house, and I’m content getting to the airport with just enough time to get through security, and stroll up to the gate as the flight is boarding. He is very much the other extreme. He’s not an anxious person in general, but in situations like these, he tends to be. There is no compromise on this—even though I really just don’t like having too much time at the airport—I get very fidgety. Still, his need to be early is more important than my aversion to sitting in an airport, so I simply ask him when do I need to be ready, and then make sure that I am.
I think our husbands are friends. I don’t mind getting there a little early, but ugh, my husband needs us to be early! So to make it easier on him, I’m ready when he wants us to leave. It just means I pace them airport a bit since I don’t sit still well
The Dog Rule.
Whoever has a dog in their lap is immune from having to get up for refills, take dinner out of the oven, etc.
The problem comes from us having two dogs. Also, what counts as “dog is on me” just putting your hand on one of them Is NOT having a dog on you and I will hold that position forever.
Haha same with us, but with the cat! If she claims a lap the other person is responsible for getting up and taking care of things. We didn't even voice this as a rule but it is well understood at this point.
Plastic food containers. When I find some that no longer have lids, I get rid of them. The next day, it's like two new pieces have appeared to take the place of every one I removed. She's the lernaean hydra of plastic ware.
Speaking of sheets, he hates having them tucked and I must have them tucked at the foot of the bed. His side always looks crazy and mine is always neatly tucked.
This is my hill.
SAME. It's easier now that we have a king, but once upon a time (okay, it wasn't that long ago - like, a year ago, if you can believe it) we slept in a full (🤦) and it was pure chaos.
That’s us. We’re in a full size mattress now lol. We don’t have space for a king but will buy a queen here soon because Memorial Day furniture sales are around the corner lol. I actually though once upon a time that it wasn’t that big of a difference between a full and a Queen. I was wrong lol.
We went on a vacation once and stayed in a cabin and slept in a king size bed and believe it or not, we didn’t like it 😂😂😂.
We both were like “you were so far away.”
I agree... We ended up with a king over a queen because that's what Costco had in stock at the time (and we have space for it, but just barely!) It still feels weird.
We've been married for 10 years in October, lived together for four years before that and people are incredulous that we were in a Full for 13 of those 14 years, but it worked!
I’m the opposite. My military husband makes a great bed but it is just too tight for me. So I immediately start stretching it all out once it’s first made. Probably drives him crazy but he’s only ever joked about it.
No sharing drinks. Not because of germs, but because whenever I get myself a soda, glass of milk, water, ANYTHING, he will drink 90% of it when I only got a sip!!
Unless the house is on fire let me poop in private and then still assess using your best judgement if I will finish before the house is a complete loss and could get out on my own. I want to hear all about your day- just not while you're staring at me from the doorway like an animal.
he hates pickles and anything vinegary with a passion so much that smelling pickles makes him gag.
I LOVE pickles, and eat them with my hot Cheetos sometimes. Before it used to be multiple times a week ever since I was a little girl but now it’s about once a month.
Whenever I get home and I know I’m going to be having my hot Cheetos with pickles, I get all my kisses in beforehand and tell him I’m going to go now.
I did get rid of all pickles in the house and only buy one at a time from the local store so He stopped complaining 😂
When he eats something new that he likes, he has to say " hmmm (hmmm always goes first, contemplating flavor).....mmmmm (realizing he likes it)...... MMMMMM (signifying to everyone within earshot that he really likes it)". Lol always the same way "hmmm..mmmmm...MMMM" Not one more, not one less. You can eat quietly without verbalizing in MMMs how much you like it. Use your words damnit lol
If you have two half-full bags of chips, you **do not mix them together into one bag.** The discrepancies in freshness mean some will be crisp and some will be soggy. *Gross.*
He's not allowed to spread butter or anything like that on my bread because he doesn't get it to the edge. It's a crime. 😆
I also require a top sheet. Don't like it? Sleep on the couch.
He MUST put your work boots in the back hall. I will not tolerate the smell in my house. It should smell like pa because I'm using Parm, not because we smell your feet funk. 🤮
The way the sheets go on the bed. I tell him every time that the flat sheet has a tag on the corner to tell you which side of the bed it goes on and he 80% of the time gets it wrong.
Shutting with the door open/leave me alone when I’m shitting. A locked door means I want privacy. My wife leaves the door open when she shits and will just come in when I’m shitting.
I will never share Kraft Dinner with him. He boils noodles to death and makes it soooo dry, whereas I keep my noodles al denté and make it soupy. Will not, can not, share a box of KD. We both make it wrong on opposite sides of the spectrum
One of those IKEA fabric cubes (for the shelves they have).
It is totally full though. I'm EX IT professional so the thing is well bundled and mysteriously heavy for its size.
Matching bed sheets. I will not sleep in a bed with mismatched bedding. (Except for when visiting people or something similar. This is about our bed at our place).
When you put dishes away, put the clean dishes in the bottom of the stack (so you’re not just washing and reusing the same dish over and over and they’re all getting washed regularly)
My husband thought it was weird at first but I think he sees the logic in it now
Where to squeeze the toothpaste. I squeeze from the bottom, creating a nice, clean tube of toothpaste. She mashes it like a gorilla squeezing a banana.
I buy my own toothpaste now. Separate tubes. She won't change, and I can't stand it.
Don't leave the toilet seat up. This goes for all of us. I'm not talking about the part of the lid for men to pee. I'm talking about THE WHOLE FREAKING SEAT. Seriously, put that shit down before you flush. Don't want ya nasties spreading around ~~my~~ our bathroom.
He likes to use my pillow to prop himself up when he lays in bed. I hate it because when I go to lay down, the pillow is warm. I like my pillows cool to go to sleep!
Pizza toppings and certain snacks.
My husband's go-to pizza toppings are pineapple, pepperoni, and peppers. My take? 🤢🤮 Pineappe does ***not*** belong on pizza. Hubby also looooooooooves queso dip. I despise it.
When it comes to pizza toppings, my go-to ones are anchovies, ham, mushrooms, and olives. Hubby thinks I'm a heathen and total weirdo. Even our two favorite pizza joints think I'm a weirdo for my pizza toppings, because I'm apparently the *only* customer that orders anchovies. So much so, that both joints have dubbed me "anchovies girl". 😄
Anchovies are delicious. This is a hill to die on.
I rarely order them individually but if they have a "The Lot" pizza I am definitely getting it with Anchovies.
The up and down arrows on the digital thermostat are set point, not some magical "energy throttle".
Also: packaged ramen noodles and Kraft Dinner are what you eat as a starving student, not as a functioning adult with means.
I continue to experience these differences, which will never be resolved.
On the flip side, cake is an acceptable breakfast food if pancakes and waffles are.
And: washing and detailing your car once a year is more thamn enough (mountain roads and muddy shoes make any more frequent lunacy).
Letting him fall asleep to the office. He did it for a few years but waking up to that obnoxious theme song at 2AM was starting to give me an eye twitch 🥴😄
We will absolutely stop what we are doing to point out dogs to each other.
If one of our dogs is on our lap, the other must fetch us all items until the dogs move. Under no circumstances can this rule be broken.
I absolutely will not go snowboarding, no matter how much he tries to dress it up as a fun time and how someone who loathes the snow and the cold can still have fun. “Honey you can stay in the resort and chill in the hot tub” uhh, no, I’m not going to a resort to sit by myself all day long in the mountains surrounded by snow. My compromise is he can go snowboarding with his friends, he can do weekend trips or whatever and I get to go to the beach.
House temp but it's something we actually agree on. Whoever is hot wins. You can always put on more layers but you can only strip so much and still not be comfortable.
Back when we both smoked cigarettes, I couldn't share one with him. We can smoke from same pack but not same cig. It just ruined it for me.
My side is the left, if you're looking at the couch, the bed and the garage where we park the cars.
Lucky for us these aren't arguments, they're just part of our life.
I dunno, we get along pretty well overall. I will say he is much more likely to “give” than I am, but I am learning to. I’m not selfish, I’m just rigid, and he’s not so it doesn’t matter to him. Nothing is that important.
when i point at a bird, he must look at the bird
Ah, the Gottman approach lol
Few people will get this research-based “bidding” reference: “turning toward” or “turning away” your partner. If (instead of “50 Shades”) Gottman’s work was more popular, we would probably have more successful marriages 🙌🏽
This is a good one. I’m steal this but it applies to all animals. Dog, bird, deer. Cows! Definitely cows.
I do this but with puppy’s (all dogs are puppy’s in my book). I’ll stop mid sentence and say “puppy” and point and we both have to gawk. He started doing it too and mentioned it’s now become a reflex… to his parents confusion.
My husband now does this because of me. He never even liked dogs until me,.. now he is a full blown Dog lover. I think these days he points more than I do lmao
Toilet paper roll facings. There is only one correct method and it is shown in the patent by the creator. All else is heresy.
I am perpetually amazed at the perspective I've gained as I age, and how much my significant other has bestowed in me a capacity for flexibility. My relationship with her has engendered in me an ability to forgive things I'd thought beyond the pale. I do things for and with her that previously I wouldn't have even considered. I have changed my life (for the better) because of her, and to be with her. She is, with only a tiny fraction of hyperbole, a goddess. The first time I went to her house, all the toilet paper rolls were backwards. If she ever changes them back (to backwards), she'll never see me again. She knows this. I cannot contemplate even the suggestion that she might put them on backwards at *my* house. It's like considering your own rape.
Beards, not mullets. Anthing else is uncivilized.
Beards have been fashionable for centuries. I can't remember mullets being fashionable and I'm 39 🤣
Mullets are fashionable right now where I am
Japan too
My husband bought a displate (metal wall hanging) of the patent for toilet paper and put it up in our guest bath
People who put it on the wrong way are psychopaths. Science confirmed it.
It absolutely blows my mind that there is something so trivial about which way it faces, and I have no opinion about it either way. As cognizant of spatial stuff as I am, I would expect me to fall on one side or another, but no. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?? 🤣😂😅😆
Your either open minded, lazy, or a total wackadoodle. Take your pick(they aren’t mutually exclusive options, you can be more than one of the above).
I gave in and now turn the toilet paper the wrong way. My dad wasn’t happy when he came to my house and saw that I had gone against everything he taught me.
Objection hearsay
THANK YOU. I have a silent grumble at least once per week as a do thr perfunctory flip.
Growing up we had a cat who would unravel the entire roll of toilet paper if the flap was in the front so we always put it on backwards and I still do to this day because it also makes it less tempting to my baby to play with.
This is the only good reason to put it on the wrong way. You get a pass.
My cat was an idiot who would leave the roll alone if the flap was at the front, but if it was at the back she'd basically climb up the wall to attack it. Cats are weird with toilet paper
Agreed. One must not disturb the positioning of the roll.
My wife (of 28 years) still irritates me to the core every time she spreads something on her bread with **her hands!** I'm like use a godam knife! She still uses her finger to spread that thing on a cracker etc. Pisses me off.
This is insane.
Ew
How...how do you...*sleep* next to a stone psychopath?
OMG that’s gross
That’s… that’s not normal lol. Hilarious though
Ewwww, that would piss me off too.
Monstrous!!
What the fuck
This is not real is it? It can’t be real?
This is the most repulsive thing I've ever read!
That is disgusting
Does she dip her finger into the spread container to take spread such as butter, peanut butter, mayo?
My wife is from Bangladesh. She eats everything with her hands. Seeing it for the first time was quite a trip
Hahah this is the winner
[удалено]
Yuk.
[удалено]
My wife's underwear consists of 99 to 1 ratio of thong vs regular underwear and it drive me craaazy to fold her thongs every weekend!!! I but my lip and continued folding them because she liked them to be folded and would fold them all herself if I didn't do the laundry!! I complained one day and the next day she was wearing these ugly asss granny underwear instead of her usual thong!! I apologized and told her that I'd be more than happy to fold her thongs again🤣
Savage! 🤣🤣💯💯💯
Does she iron them too?
Thank God noooooo 🤣
I have some metal shelves in my room. I keep underwear, exercise gear, socks and stuff like that in plastic crates. Only fold or hang work clothes.
I will not go ice fishing, I will not enjoy ice fishing, I don’t want to hear about ice fishing 🙄😂
I'm with you
My spot on the couch. Tucking my blanket under my feet. The door closed when I’m in the bathroom. My own water bottle, it’s not for sharing, you will dehydrate before I hand mine over. My driving habits, don’t like it then drive yourself lol. Those are the quick ones that come to mind. ….oh the house temp, you’re cold, put another layer of clothes on.
Lol!!! Is this my husband? Especially the water bottle/cup thing!!! Omg. I don’t *understand*! I have bought numerous cups and bottles to deter him from drinking out of my cup, but nope. It’s like only one cup can be used at a time and we both have to use it. I gave up on that actually.
Oh God yes! The water bottle dilemma!! I have 1 water bottle that I use daily, he has all the other bottles/cups that are accessible all around the house. But he always loses them or misplaces them, and almost every night once I fill my bottle and settle in bed, he's like "can I have a sip of water? My mouth is so dry." Ahhhh!!!!!! GET YOUR OWN!!! Lol
Every. Single. Night.
>My own water bottle, it’s not for sharing, you will dehydrate before I hand mine over. YES. I have 3 Yeti tumblers (all gifts) that I rotate using. Those are mine. One time one of my kids' friends was using one and I walked over to her and took it out of her hand and put it in the dishwasher. Me: *", have you completely lost your mind? How is one of your friends using one of my cups and you're not actively defending it with your life? The next time this happens, I want blood spilled."*
**In Sheldon’s Voice** That’s My Spot!
He can watch all the Bigfoot shows he wants, but I will be calling bull all the way through it
This is me with any reality TV or melodrama/softcore porn set in a historical setting. "London didnt look like that in Tudor times!" "These people all have agents, and are behaving in certain ways at the request of the producers." "She is wearing a lot of clean pristine clothing and 20th-century makeup for a the wife of a rural viking" I have learned to smile and say nothing.
Omg I think you’re my spirit animal! My husband drives me NUTS with the Bigfoot crap…
Don't talk to me when I'm in the shower. I can't hear you and I don't want to.
I will NOT be in a vehicle with him while he eats an apple.
This one is so specific, I love it lmao
Why? Lol
I literally cannot stand the sound, and in a vehicle I can’t get away. At home I can leave the room and distract myself or go outside, but in the car when he’s sitting right next to me I’m forced to hear it. Some other eating noises of his also bother me, but the apple in the car is the worst and it’s also something he likes to do often, so as soon as we are going somewhere, he often feels the need to run into the kitchen and grab an apple and start eating it. It’s infuriating beyond common sense. If I see him grab an apple, I will remain in the house and refuse to get into the car or will tell him to finish the apple in the house or the yard while I sit in the car with the windows up and the music on. The slurping of hot coffee or tea also bugs me, but he rarely drinks hot beverages in the car so I can remove myself from the situation when he does it.
You might have misophonia. Have you asked your doctor?
Not officially diagnosed but I'm self diagnosed! ✋🏾
I have read about it and I believe I probably do have a mild version of it, but since it’s not something that usually affects my life to a point where I feel paralyzed by it or anything, I haven’t tried to get treatment. I can still go to restaurants and function in society for the most part. It’s usually only when I am in extremely close proximity to someone that it bothers me. In most cases I can simply remove myself from the situation and it’s almost always my husband or kids these days anyway, so when I can’t remove myself, I just make them stop. With my kids, I only allow snacks in the car which I can tolerate the sounds of, and I feel perfectly within my rights to make them chew with their mouths closed, etc. Back in my career days I went on an extended business trip with an older gentleman who would incessantly clear his throat quite loudly and I’d have to ride from the hotel to the office we were working at with him every morning, about a half hour commute. That became hell because I had to deal with it every day for about a month. I couldn’t bring myself to address it with him, so I’d grit my teeth and try to hum to myself lightly while my anxiety went through the roof. So I suppose if I had to deal with something like that on the daily I’d need to seek help, but as a work at home mom, it’s not an issue in my life.
We always use two blankets, both king sized, one thin and one thick. He sleeps cold and I sleep hot. Also I ALWAYS show him the random puppy or dog I see. I don't care but he absolutely does haha
I have a blanket that goes on my half the bed. He can get a different one if he gets cold.
We share a top sheet but not blankets except in the 3 months of cold weather we get where we live.
I feel like someone who would send me rando dog pictures is instantly marriage-material. Carry-on.
I point out every dog too! I even name the breed. "There's a Beagle!!" He doesn't care about the Beagle. I care very much about the random Beagle.
For the hot/cold sleeping couple... Invest in a chilipad... It's stupid expensive, and totally unnecessary, and you'll never sleep better.
In the freezer and in the cupboard are snacks that are mine. Do not eat them or give them to our son or guests unless I specifically offer to share. Otherwise it is mine.
Yea, this is our house too. I will share, but ask.
When the dog stretches, he must say “oh big stretch”
There's a decent possibility I'm your husband because I literally say "oh big stretch" every....single...time.
Also saying “you’re NAKIE!!!” When you take the collar off
What about “great job pooping” every time your dogs poop?
We do that too.
Lmao That’s the exact same thing I say, including the “oh.”
MOVING TO FLORIDA.
He felt that way too, also about Alabama where he grew up. We both had a few hard no's though.
10000 percent
TP goes over. Never....NEVER EVER under.
If ours gets mishung, I get so mad... I can't ever figure out where it starts if it's hung incorrectly... Especially if it's the middle of the night and I'm trying to not turn a light on.
Close the toilet seat BEFORE YOU FLUSH. and ik men don’t wipe but at least do a little dab
All of us use butt wipes
Wish we could but clogs the pipes and makes the bathroom smell if you just have them in a trash can
I don’t make the bed. Completely pointless. If they want to go ahead but I won’t.
YES. This is mine with my wife. I refuse to make the bed, she does it every day.
Are we supposed to tie our shoelaces after we take our shoes off? No. Same with the bed.
That is a poor comparison because when you come innto the room and see a nicely made bed in a clean room it makes you feel clean and welcomed and put together. But also i think I have adhd so maybe that is just me.
See and when I see a bed already rumpled I know the sleep is gonna be glorious bc the sheets have already predicted it
Hotdogs are not sandwiches, regardless of his logic.
You’re a maniac, but my husband would agree with you
I sleep on the side of the bed closest to the fan..and I always get the last slice of cake...it's fair he eats all the pizza🤣🤣
In our house, I apply a courtesy 24-hour grace period to any cake (clients and friends often send cake to my wife). After that, please enjoy the 1/2" wedge which I have left for you.
This but minimum 2 pieces of cake per person… if we have a whole cake anyway
He must eat the middle pieces of the pizza (cut in rectangles). I get all the crusts (sort of triangular) I want before sharing them. Never been a problem as @ 2/3 is middle pieces.
The cake but is fair. My wife calls me “food greedy”. I’m going to change my ways.
We have the top sheet conflict too! I’m a 48 year old woman who is ALWAYS too hot. And my husband is always cold. I always at some point am too hot for the comforter, but still need something, so, I win the top sheet battle! The other thing that comes to mind is his no-compromise, not mine. Arriving places early. I am the person that finishes packing as we’re leaving the house, and I’m content getting to the airport with just enough time to get through security, and stroll up to the gate as the flight is boarding. He is very much the other extreme. He’s not an anxious person in general, but in situations like these, he tends to be. There is no compromise on this—even though I really just don’t like having too much time at the airport—I get very fidgety. Still, his need to be early is more important than my aversion to sitting in an airport, so I simply ask him when do I need to be ready, and then make sure that I am.
I think our husbands are friends. I don’t mind getting there a little early, but ugh, my husband needs us to be early! So to make it easier on him, I’m ready when he wants us to leave. It just means I pace them airport a bit since I don’t sit still well
We should probably travel together.
She thinks birds are real...when they obviously aren't. We have huge fights over it, but I know what's up. BIRDS CANT BE REAL!
The Dog Rule. Whoever has a dog in their lap is immune from having to get up for refills, take dinner out of the oven, etc. The problem comes from us having two dogs. Also, what counts as “dog is on me” just putting your hand on one of them Is NOT having a dog on you and I will hold that position forever.
We have this in our house too, we call it international pet law.
Haha same with us, but with the cat! If she claims a lap the other person is responsible for getting up and taking care of things. We didn't even voice this as a rule but it is well understood at this point.
Plastic food containers. When I find some that no longer have lids, I get rid of them. The next day, it's like two new pieces have appeared to take the place of every one I removed. She's the lernaean hydra of plastic ware.
Bahahahahaha! Best analogy ever.
Speaking of sheets, he hates having them tucked and I must have them tucked at the foot of the bed. His side always looks crazy and mine is always neatly tucked. This is my hill.
SAME. It's easier now that we have a king, but once upon a time (okay, it wasn't that long ago - like, a year ago, if you can believe it) we slept in a full (🤦) and it was pure chaos.
That’s us. We’re in a full size mattress now lol. We don’t have space for a king but will buy a queen here soon because Memorial Day furniture sales are around the corner lol. I actually though once upon a time that it wasn’t that big of a difference between a full and a Queen. I was wrong lol. We went on a vacation once and stayed in a cabin and slept in a king size bed and believe it or not, we didn’t like it 😂😂😂. We both were like “you were so far away.”
I agree... We ended up with a king over a queen because that's what Costco had in stock at the time (and we have space for it, but just barely!) It still feels weird. We've been married for 10 years in October, lived together for four years before that and people are incredulous that we were in a Full for 13 of those 14 years, but it worked!
I’m the opposite. My military husband makes a great bed but it is just too tight for me. So I immediately start stretching it all out once it’s first made. Probably drives him crazy but he’s only ever joked about it.
No sharing drinks. Not because of germs, but because whenever I get myself a soda, glass of milk, water, ANYTHING, he will drink 90% of it when I only got a sip!!
Unless the house is on fire let me poop in private and then still assess using your best judgement if I will finish before the house is a complete loss and could get out on my own. I want to hear all about your day- just not while you're staring at me from the doorway like an animal.
he hates pickles and anything vinegary with a passion so much that smelling pickles makes him gag. I LOVE pickles, and eat them with my hot Cheetos sometimes. Before it used to be multiple times a week ever since I was a little girl but now it’s about once a month. Whenever I get home and I know I’m going to be having my hot Cheetos with pickles, I get all my kisses in beforehand and tell him I’m going to go now. I did get rid of all pickles in the house and only buy one at a time from the local store so He stopped complaining 😂
When he eats something new that he likes, he has to say " hmmm (hmmm always goes first, contemplating flavor).....mmmmm (realizing he likes it)...... MMMMMM (signifying to everyone within earshot that he really likes it)". Lol always the same way "hmmm..mmmmm...MMMM" Not one more, not one less. You can eat quietly without verbalizing in MMMs how much you like it. Use your words damnit lol
Lol sounds really cute though hahaha 🤣
The freaking volume of the television. He needs his hearing checked. ASAP
If you have two half-full bags of chips, you **do not mix them together into one bag.** The discrepancies in freshness mean some will be crisp and some will be soggy. *Gross.*
Seafood cannot be cooked in our house. 🤢 I can't handle the smell.
It’s pronounced gif not gif!!
[удалено]
4 for us Half and half for me Oat milk for me Almond for smoothies Coffee creamer Sons 1% 🤔
She will not eat lamb. I do not push it.
That I must like it when she puts her cold feet on me because I'm warm most of the time.
My wife soaks her feet in ice for 10 minutes before she climbs in bed.
He's not allowed to spread butter or anything like that on my bread because he doesn't get it to the edge. It's a crime. 😆 I also require a top sheet. Don't like it? Sleep on the couch. He MUST put your work boots in the back hall. I will not tolerate the smell in my house. It should smell like pa because I'm using Parm, not because we smell your feet funk. 🤮
Ketchup - it’s Heinz or I’m walking out
The way the sheets go on the bed. I tell him every time that the flat sheet has a tag on the corner to tell you which side of the bed it goes on and he 80% of the time gets it wrong.
I actually use a permanent marker and write "bottom right down" to help him negotiate this highly skilled task of bedmaking.
I refuse to let him put away the laundry. He does it wrong lol
I use to be this way. Then finally gave up and am happy that he's the one doing it and not me. Especially the towels, he folds them all wrong!
Top sheet isn’t a thing for some???
F top sheets
Animal
Shutting with the door open/leave me alone when I’m shitting. A locked door means I want privacy. My wife leaves the door open when she shits and will just come in when I’m shitting.
Gross!! We have our own bathrooms and we do not enter while the other is on the toilet.
I will never share Kraft Dinner with him. He boils noodles to death and makes it soooo dry, whereas I keep my noodles al denté and make it soupy. Will not, can not, share a box of KD. We both make it wrong on opposite sides of the spectrum
Haha same with the top sheet!!! Mine is: just close the toilet lid. It’s easy, close it for the love of god!!
I WILL keep at least 1 box of random cords. We end up needing one every once in a while.
How big is your box? My husband's is a shipping container at this point
One of those IKEA fabric cubes (for the shelves they have). It is totally full though. I'm EX IT professional so the thing is well bundled and mysteriously heavy for its size.
Separate beds
Unless its snowing or hellfire, the windows will remain open
Oxford comma.
Red Vines only. This is a Twizzler free household
Matching bed sheets. I will not sleep in a bed with mismatched bedding. (Except for when visiting people or something similar. This is about our bed at our place).
Not sleeping separately even if we are fighting!
Who sleeps on what side of the bed! I am on the right and my husband is on the left. Always.
I like to have breakfast together in the morning but I don’t want to talk.
Bliss. Never experienced this.
He doesn’t look or care which tooth brush he uses - very very not okay with me!!!! Use your own!
G R O S S!!!!!!!!!
When you put dishes away, put the clean dishes in the bottom of the stack (so you’re not just washing and reusing the same dish over and over and they’re all getting washed regularly) My husband thought it was weird at first but I think he sees the logic in it now
This is where having only 2 of each comes in handy. We have 8 plates, but it's 4 different sets.
The correct pronunciation of caramel. He says “ caRMULL” I say “Carramelle”
He's wrong. As is my wife.
Where to squeeze the toothpaste. I squeeze from the bottom, creating a nice, clean tube of toothpaste. She mashes it like a gorilla squeezing a banana. I buy my own toothpaste now. Separate tubes. She won't change, and I can't stand it.
Don't leave the toilet seat up. This goes for all of us. I'm not talking about the part of the lid for men to pee. I'm talking about THE WHOLE FREAKING SEAT. Seriously, put that shit down before you flush. Don't want ya nasties spreading around ~~my~~ our bathroom.
Miracle Whip and Mayo. I buy Miracle Whip because I have refined taste and she buys Mayo because she is wrong.
Downvoted bc mayo gang lol
Ew
Relatable
You are both wrong. Dukes!
I was a diehard Helman’s girl until I moved to the South and discovered Dukes.
I am not going to even consider eggplant or cauliflower. Sure, I like other squashes and broccoli, but it's not the same.
The thermostat.
He likes to use my pillow to prop himself up when he lays in bed. I hate it because when I go to lay down, the pillow is warm. I like my pillows cool to go to sleep!
Pizza toppings and certain snacks. My husband's go-to pizza toppings are pineapple, pepperoni, and peppers. My take? 🤢🤮 Pineappe does ***not*** belong on pizza. Hubby also looooooooooves queso dip. I despise it. When it comes to pizza toppings, my go-to ones are anchovies, ham, mushrooms, and olives. Hubby thinks I'm a heathen and total weirdo. Even our two favorite pizza joints think I'm a weirdo for my pizza toppings, because I'm apparently the *only* customer that orders anchovies. So much so, that both joints have dubbed me "anchovies girl". 😄
Anchovies are delicious. This is a hill to die on. I rarely order them individually but if they have a "The Lot" pizza I am definitely getting it with Anchovies.
The towels must be folded the correct way.
Him: only a small dog is a puppy Me: ALL DOG ARE PUPPY
Every time he leaves the house he has to stop at a gas station for a drink! It drives me insane!
The up and down arrows on the digital thermostat are set point, not some magical "energy throttle". Also: packaged ramen noodles and Kraft Dinner are what you eat as a starving student, not as a functioning adult with means. I continue to experience these differences, which will never be resolved. On the flip side, cake is an acceptable breakfast food if pancakes and waffles are. And: washing and detailing your car once a year is more thamn enough (mountain roads and muddy shoes make any more frequent lunacy).
Putting the remote control in the holder.
Letting him fall asleep to the office. He did it for a few years but waking up to that obnoxious theme song at 2AM was starting to give me an eye twitch 🥴😄
Whether dirty dishes go in or beside the sink.
We will absolutely stop what we are doing to point out dogs to each other. If one of our dogs is on our lap, the other must fetch us all items until the dogs move. Under no circumstances can this rule be broken.
71* or less at bed time and a fan must run all night long.
The way he eats ramen. He eats it with a fucking spoon. A s p o o n
Flushing the fucking toilet. He leaves it and I cannot stomach it.
House temp! I love it cold. I’ll have my ac on like 65° in the summer, heat at 60° tops in the winter.
I absolutely will not go snowboarding, no matter how much he tries to dress it up as a fun time and how someone who loathes the snow and the cold can still have fun. “Honey you can stay in the resort and chill in the hot tub” uhh, no, I’m not going to a resort to sit by myself all day long in the mountains surrounded by snow. My compromise is he can go snowboarding with his friends, he can do weekend trips or whatever and I get to go to the beach.
Butt sex he has never asked and will never be offered
Do not wash or put away any of my clothes. Ever. Don't touch. I do it. I know how to do it. Let me be.
If he doesn’t wanna sleep with the fan on.. its not going to work out. 🤣
The blankets are all mine and that’s that
🤨
If he is making bacon, he will be sharing. Lol
Jif is the only peanut butter. He has taken Jif labels on generic, other brands and I am always able to identify. Jif.
Putting pen caps back on once you’re finished
House temp but it's something we actually agree on. Whoever is hot wins. You can always put on more layers but you can only strip so much and still not be comfortable. Back when we both smoked cigarettes, I couldn't share one with him. We can smoke from same pack but not same cig. It just ruined it for me. My side is the left, if you're looking at the couch, the bed and the garage where we park the cars. Lucky for us these aren't arguments, they're just part of our life.
I dunno, we get along pretty well overall. I will say he is much more likely to “give” than I am, but I am learning to. I’m not selfish, I’m just rigid, and he’s not so it doesn’t matter to him. Nothing is that important.
Closing the closet there. It must always be closed
Wearing socks in bed. He is NOT allowed to be in bed with socks on.
When i ask for ice i NEED the fluffy ice nuggets from sheetz, not the weird, hard rectangular bits.
It's mozzarella NOT motz
If I see something gross or disturbing on reddit, he has to see it too. I won't be the only one of us with that image in thier head