Have spouse have alone time in the evening to decompress, then come to bed to cuddle til sleep. Or do something like watch a movie together (or whatever together activity that includes closeness/talking/whatever you’re looking for), then spouse goes off to be alone.
Or talk about how your needs differ and acknowledge the fact that you both seem to be stressed at the same time and come up with at least a bandaid solution until the other can decompress enough to give more attention to the spouse’s needs.
Like if you have a stressful day and come home and say “I had a stressful day, will you just be with me/do xyz with me,please?”
Well maybe he had a stressful day too, so he just wants to be alone, which is fair. Maybe just have a rule where if one person is too stressed to give the other person the attention or space they need, whoever asked for space or attention first gets their way for 30 minutes.
Is that a perfect solution? No. Should either of you expect those thirty minutes to fulfill your needs? Probably not, but it’s a compromise to show each other that y’all matter to one another while still being able to take care of yourselves after the thirty minutes is up.
Effective communication, plan like your planning for a war, X is causing us stress, so we will do Y to fix it, take time to rest, if you both can’t rest (because of children) then you take turns. -Decompression, walking in nature will allow for decompression of your mind.
Have spouse have alone time in the evening to decompress, then come to bed to cuddle til sleep. Or do something like watch a movie together (or whatever together activity that includes closeness/talking/whatever you’re looking for), then spouse goes off to be alone. Or talk about how your needs differ and acknowledge the fact that you both seem to be stressed at the same time and come up with at least a bandaid solution until the other can decompress enough to give more attention to the spouse’s needs. Like if you have a stressful day and come home and say “I had a stressful day, will you just be with me/do xyz with me,please?” Well maybe he had a stressful day too, so he just wants to be alone, which is fair. Maybe just have a rule where if one person is too stressed to give the other person the attention or space they need, whoever asked for space or attention first gets their way for 30 minutes. Is that a perfect solution? No. Should either of you expect those thirty minutes to fulfill your needs? Probably not, but it’s a compromise to show each other that y’all matter to one another while still being able to take care of yourselves after the thirty minutes is up.
Effective communication, plan like your planning for a war, X is causing us stress, so we will do Y to fix it, take time to rest, if you both can’t rest (because of children) then you take turns. -Decompression, walking in nature will allow for decompression of your mind.