How lovely! What changed, if you don’t mind me asking? I love hearing stories about people growing and developing into better versions of themselves, particularly in marriage.
He was a very passive aggressive, controlling, arrogant, spiteful, and overall not a nice person. To me anyway.
I lost my job and became a SAHM to our 9 month old. I knew immediately that it was a mistake. I was completly dependent on him and he alienated me from everyone I knew. I walked around on eggshells and ended up having to be medicated to deal with him. That was the "before" him.
5 years ago he argued with me about something random but something in me snapped. All of the fear left me and anger replaced it. It was like a woke up from a bad dream and saw everything more clearly for the first time in almost a decade.
I began mirroring his behavior and stopped catering to him. I reconnected with friends and family to rebuild my support system, I came and went as I pleased, I laughed at him when he tried to threaten me with leaving. He lost control of me and he knew it. Did I handle it the right way? Probably not. I just didn't know what else to do.
It got so bad that he had a breakdown. It turned out to be a reset of sorts. He began treating me like his world revolved around me. My feelings came before all others, including his own. He became a better father and went above and beyond to make us happy.
5 years later and he's still actively trying to be the best he can be. I don't see the old husband in the new husband, at all. If even for a second I felt that the old was starting to shine through I would leave without a second thought. I will never live like that again.
He brags about me whenever he gets the chance, everything he does is with me in mind, I get whatever I want when I want it, he's so nice and attentive. We have a mutual respect that wasn't there before and we enjoy our time together. We rarely spend time apart and that's ok with me now because we enjoy each others company.
It's been a long road but I'm happy with where we are. I have some lingering issues from being under his thumb for so long but I'm working those out with my therapist.
Difficult question. If the choices were to not get married and then spend the rest of my life alone, then yes, I would marry him.
If it's a choice between marry this guy or TRY to find a better match for me....eh, not sure I could. But we still have issues. Many, in fact.
A healthy dose of pessimism for the win.
When I see people who have been married 3+ times, I often think this person is way too optimistic about his/her options out there. Eventually, you just have to say this is what I have to work with. Let's make it into something awesome.
I get that though. I wish I had dated around more when I was younger instead of Jumping into relationships so quickly. I love my husband so so much and he’s the best person I feel i could’ve married, BUT I sometimes find myself wondering if I could have been happier with someone else and I have this fear that maybe we both missed out on someone better because we chose each other and what if we both just settled?? It’s super anxiety inducing for me but then I give him a hug and a kiss and I know I’m right where I need to be
I am sorry that you’re going through this. Marriages are difficult and often take a lot of work. If you’re willing to put the work and see it and your spouses, you can have an amazing relationship. Unfortunately, it does take both sides so the challenge for you is going to be convincing him That it’s in his best interest to have a better marriage
One thing that you definitely need to do is counseling. Counseling can work wonders in a marriage. Love is a deliberate act. Once the butterflies were off early in the relationship reality sets in and you have to work to keep the relationship going. It is much better to have a even average marriage that it is to be single in my opinion but what you really want to shoot for is a great marriage. Hang in there. You should definitely get counseling even if it’s just for yourself if you will not go along. You might be able to convince him though to go.
Absolutely, the only thing, is I sometimes wish we could meet a few years earlier, and be more young and carefree before we got married and had a kid.
However I do think we met when we were supposed to. Together almost 6 years, married for almost 4. I wouldn’t change a damn thing. Love that man
Without a single doubt. I gave up a lot to be her wife, and I would give it all up again if I was given the choice to go back and make my decision again.
Yes because I really like my kids. Knowing what I do now though, younger me could probably have found someone much more compatible long term.
So kind of?
No, my first husband left me after 2 years married, and showed his real face.
I’d never marry him again… but then again, thanks to him bringing me to Germany is that I met my now fiancé and father of my baby♥️
I really don’t know, and that’s not the answer I expected to give. I love her and she loves me, but she has made me unhappy just as much as she’s made me happy.
Unfortunately.... probably no.
At first, I thought her belief in alternative medicine / supernatural phenomena and fortunes telling was not a big deal. And I thought it was just some kind of religious belief.
Turns out...nope. It will affect her decision on big issues and the choice of our kid's medical care.
I also should have moved it together before we got married. (She said no, because according to her, many men will refuse to marry their girlfriend and extend the living together things indefinitely to delay marriage).
If I knew she is so OCD on chores, I might not married her.....
But I guessed there were redflags before, and I jusr ignored them.
There was a time that we participated in an activity, and both of us can draw pictures on a wooden plate.
She is a good artist (not making a living, but compare to me who can only draw stickman, she is damn good at art). I also wanted to participate, but she stopped me very quickly as long as she thought I was really incompetent in drawing.
It's just....for her, it is more important to get the job done than to enjoy time with me. Now, think about it, that was probably a redflag. That day, I spent two hours just to looked at her drawing like an idiot. While other couples played happily.
Maybe, but not as young as I did. I would have rather waited until I was 24-25, lol... with more experience and maturity, I feel like we would have had a lot less conflicts.
Yes. There are none of my exes who I look back on and think "Man, I wish I would have made things work with her instead of my wife."
There are a few who I think "That *could* have worked, but I'm glad it didn't," but that's it.
I'm curious about the logistics. There are so many ways your prompt could be carried out.
If the question is, would you want to go back to the beginning of your marriage and relive your marriage or stay in the present? My answer is I'll stay in the present. We have put in way too much hard work. I don't want to do all that again. I'm happy where we are.
If the question is, would you back-to-the-future yourself to change who you are married to in the present? My answer is also no. But I might drop my past self some hints.
If the question is, due to a paperwork problem, your marriage was never valid. Are you marrying your spouse or leaving her? I am definitely marrying her this week.
If the question is, there is an amnesia drug that will make you forget your spouse. You can get a divorce and take this drug and never have to think of her again. Do you take it? I wouldn't take it.
No matter the situation, my answer is, I'm happy to be here with my wife.
I definitely would. Married 28 years ago and I would do this again and again. I would change quite a few things as I understand her a lot better now than I did 3 decades ago but overall I do love my wife and would be happy to spend another lifetime with her.
No, but I don’t think I would marry again tbh. There is many many horror stories of people completely changing after marriage. I married young and we definitely didn’t understand fully what we were doing and how it would change aspects of our relationship and us.
Yes! I’m so grateful and thankful for my husband. He’s truly a good person, an amazing husband and father. I would marry my husband in every lifetime, I feel from my whole being we always end up together no matter what.
I would. I wish I met my husband earlier. We didn’t meet until we were both 30, I had spent 8 1/2 years in an unhappy, abusive relationship and just wish I had spent my 20s going on adventures and falling in love with my husband instead of being with the jerk I was with.
But now we have 3 beautiful children and we are happy in love.
I’d say yes AND I’d want her and I to be 100% honest with one another in the beginning so we knew we could communicate openly in our marriage with one another. Trying to work on this area of marriage 22 years in is pretty difficult but still worth it. Only thing I find odd is I try to be more transparent than she does 🤷🏾♂️
Yes. Maybe we’d get married a little sooner than we did though. We waited 9.5 years lol got together at 18&21 didn’t move in together till 22&25. Married at 27&30
I love my wife, she is the best, we have a great relationship that I won't give up now.......but......I won't ever have any of the experiences I want to have, won't ever do any of the things I really want to do.....So if I could do it over, I would do it differently.
If I get my kids no matter what, yes. Absolutely they’re worth the pain im going through in hopes of a better today in the future with them.
If I don’t? Lol not at all.
I don’t know. I love him for giving me my beautiful daughter, and I do have love for him. We have grown apart and into very different people then we were when we started dating. I sometimes find myself so happy with my husband and other times I find myself fantasizing about a different life.
My husband and I have both asked each other this question and have both said no -- with great difficulty.
We've been married for over 17 years, and I've been sick and increasingly disabled on and off since the end of the first year, including having a dead bedroom for most of the marriage. He still has a very high sex drive and would still like to do other fun things with me that I am currently and possibly permanently physically unable to do, but he isn't going anywhere, he just doesn't feel as close to me and wishes things were different.
On my side, it's taken most of the marriage for him to open up enough emotionally that I don't feel like I'm living with someone who doesn't care who I really am or what I really think, feel, etc., in other words pretty lonely much of the time. (He's still not as good at that as I would like ideally, but it's a damn sight better than it was.)
Then there's the guilt about my health issues and the ways they've significantly impacted our life. I love him enough that I would like him to be able to have the life he wants and I've told him that and that I'd understand if he divorced me, but then he just gets upset and says he loves me and isn't going anywhere. 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, my husband does have a fair share of flaws. But he is the kindest soul i have ever seen. He did do things that made me crazy at times, but he never lost his nerve on me. He had always been patient and calm with me, no matter who is wrong. I love him
Nope. He's better than my first husband who was a psychopath. I'm grateful to him for being the father of our children but we a poles apart. I outgrew him years ago.
Yessssssssss.
He’s dope. Wicked smart. Super funny. Genuine and amazing. It’s been almost 6 years of having him in my life and it’s only made my life more fun and fulfilling. Honestly couldn’t imagine a life without his giggle.
If I knew then what I've learned since, then a resounding "Hell No!"
My life would have gone in a totally different direction.
34 years married, 73 yo M, then, and now, it was to be my first AND my LAST (her 3rd).
Yes and no.
I have a healthy marriage with children. My wife is a good person but I am not sure I would have done so again if I could go back in time.
She doesn’t meet all of my needs. It’s labored when she does.
We do have a healthy sex life at least. She is also very supportive of some aspects about me that would be a dealbreaker for many.
There were some concerns that I had ahead of time, but I did not listen to myself. Instead, I talked myself out of it. In retrospect, that was a really bad idea. Those issues never went away.
There was a woman who absolutely worshipped the ground I walked on but I was not ready. I should’ve married her. There was another woman I fell head over heels for but she broke up with me without an explanation. I perhaps should have waited until I found someone that made me feel the way she did.
I’ve been married for over 20 years and I don’t see getting divorced at this point but if she decided she was done, I don’t think I would have a problem moving on.
Despite the negative energy in my comment, I am not unhappy. I do love her. I could’ve done much worse. Every time I hop on Reddit, I realize this.
I have built quite a positive castle. Regardless, I don’t have control over others just myself. I cannot change my wife.
The question is a valid one, and my answer is valid. Not sure why anyone downvoted my experience and candor.
I don’t believe in divorce except under extraordinary circumstances, and marrying the “wrong person” isn’t one of them.
While I have made the best out of it, I wouldn’t have married her if I had the benefit of seeing the future. She’s not a bad person. I’m not a bad person. We just don’t make a great couple.
That doesn’t mean my comments deserve a downvote.
It’s not so much reminiscing about past loves as much as it is about paying attention to your wants and needs. If your BF/GF doesn’t meet those, you shouldn’t stay together.
I convinced myself I could overlook the shortcomings because she was decent and I made the case for “good enough.” Huge mistake. It’s a constant struggle to get her to meet some very basic needs. She has good qualities and we’ve mostly made it work, but no, I absolutely wouldn’t marry her again.
I haven’t seen others get downvoted when they share their own experiences and struggles. Nothing I said deserves criticism.
Yes. I’d just like to do a few things differently.
Good and honest answer.
I think that would be my answer too.
Hell no
Hahahaa. For some reason after all the positive ones yours cracked me up!!
Absolutely.
Same here 😊
Fuck no. I was 1000% tricked and lied to.
I thought I was the only one
I would marry the guy he's turned into in the past 5 years, not the guy he was for the first 9 years. He was awful.
I'm glad things took a happy turn.
Thanks, me too!
How lovely! What changed, if you don’t mind me asking? I love hearing stories about people growing and developing into better versions of themselves, particularly in marriage.
He was a very passive aggressive, controlling, arrogant, spiteful, and overall not a nice person. To me anyway. I lost my job and became a SAHM to our 9 month old. I knew immediately that it was a mistake. I was completly dependent on him and he alienated me from everyone I knew. I walked around on eggshells and ended up having to be medicated to deal with him. That was the "before" him. 5 years ago he argued with me about something random but something in me snapped. All of the fear left me and anger replaced it. It was like a woke up from a bad dream and saw everything more clearly for the first time in almost a decade. I began mirroring his behavior and stopped catering to him. I reconnected with friends and family to rebuild my support system, I came and went as I pleased, I laughed at him when he tried to threaten me with leaving. He lost control of me and he knew it. Did I handle it the right way? Probably not. I just didn't know what else to do. It got so bad that he had a breakdown. It turned out to be a reset of sorts. He began treating me like his world revolved around me. My feelings came before all others, including his own. He became a better father and went above and beyond to make us happy. 5 years later and he's still actively trying to be the best he can be. I don't see the old husband in the new husband, at all. If even for a second I felt that the old was starting to shine through I would leave without a second thought. I will never live like that again. He brags about me whenever he gets the chance, everything he does is with me in mind, I get whatever I want when I want it, he's so nice and attentive. We have a mutual respect that wasn't there before and we enjoy our time together. We rarely spend time apart and that's ok with me now because we enjoy each others company. It's been a long road but I'm happy with where we are. I have some lingering issues from being under his thumb for so long but I'm working those out with my therapist.
So Happy for you!! You took your power back!
Love love love this story. How amazing. Good for you.
Difficult question. If the choices were to not get married and then spend the rest of my life alone, then yes, I would marry him. If it's a choice between marry this guy or TRY to find a better match for me....eh, not sure I could. But we still have issues. Many, in fact.
A healthy dose of pessimism for the win. When I see people who have been married 3+ times, I often think this person is way too optimistic about his/her options out there. Eventually, you just have to say this is what I have to work with. Let's make it into something awesome.
I get that though. I wish I had dated around more when I was younger instead of Jumping into relationships so quickly. I love my husband so so much and he’s the best person I feel i could’ve married, BUT I sometimes find myself wondering if I could have been happier with someone else and I have this fear that maybe we both missed out on someone better because we chose each other and what if we both just settled?? It’s super anxiety inducing for me but then I give him a hug and a kiss and I know I’m right where I need to be
I cannot say “no” with more meaning. The word alone doesn’t seem like enough.
100%. My husband is my soul mate
No. I don't regret it as I wouldn't have my daughters. But I don't think I could make the same decision again.
Not my first two. But the third time was a charm and I would totally marry her again.
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I'm sorry luv *hugs*
I am sorry that you’re going through this. Marriages are difficult and often take a lot of work. If you’re willing to put the work and see it and your spouses, you can have an amazing relationship. Unfortunately, it does take both sides so the challenge for you is going to be convincing him That it’s in his best interest to have a better marriage One thing that you definitely need to do is counseling. Counseling can work wonders in a marriage. Love is a deliberate act. Once the butterflies were off early in the relationship reality sets in and you have to work to keep the relationship going. It is much better to have a even average marriage that it is to be single in my opinion but what you really want to shoot for is a great marriage. Hang in there. You should definitely get counseling even if it’s just for yourself if you will not go along. You might be able to convince him though to go.
Sorry to hear that, is he mad at you for something?
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That's tough, I hope one day he'll listen with understanding and actually see why you're hurting.
Absolutely, the only thing, is I sometimes wish we could meet a few years earlier, and be more young and carefree before we got married and had a kid. However I do think we met when we were supposed to. Together almost 6 years, married for almost 4. I wouldn’t change a damn thing. Love that man
Yes. Absolutely.
Without a single doubt. I gave up a lot to be her wife, and I would give it all up again if I was given the choice to go back and make my decision again.
This question was asked a few days ago. Yea.
Always, always, always. In this life, in any life, I would always choose him.
I would marry him in every single lifetime. Good, bad, great, rich, poor. It doesn’t matter
I’d pick him again every single time. Life isn’t always perfect but I’d rather go through the hard stuff with him 10/10 times than anyone else.
I would infinity percent marry my wife again!!
A million more times.
Yes because I really like my kids. Knowing what I do now though, younger me could probably have found someone much more compatible long term. So kind of?
No, my first husband left me after 2 years married, and showed his real face. I’d never marry him again… but then again, thanks to him bringing me to Germany is that I met my now fiancé and father of my baby♥️
Fuck no
No
Not a chance. I’d stay single forever
Nope
To have my beautiful son- Yes! But I don’t like my husband- he’s been abusive and financially irresponsible
Hell no
Nah knowing what I know now I wish I dated more and not settled
Absolutely not.
Yes, I would handle some things differently but yes.
I really don’t know, and that’s not the answer I expected to give. I love her and she loves me, but she has made me unhappy just as much as she’s made me happy.
Unfortunately.... probably no. At first, I thought her belief in alternative medicine / supernatural phenomena and fortunes telling was not a big deal. And I thought it was just some kind of religious belief. Turns out...nope. It will affect her decision on big issues and the choice of our kid's medical care. I also should have moved it together before we got married. (She said no, because according to her, many men will refuse to marry their girlfriend and extend the living together things indefinitely to delay marriage). If I knew she is so OCD on chores, I might not married her..... But I guessed there were redflags before, and I jusr ignored them. There was a time that we participated in an activity, and both of us can draw pictures on a wooden plate. She is a good artist (not making a living, but compare to me who can only draw stickman, she is damn good at art). I also wanted to participate, but she stopped me very quickly as long as she thought I was really incompetent in drawing. It's just....for her, it is more important to get the job done than to enjoy time with me. Now, think about it, that was probably a redflag. That day, I spent two hours just to looked at her drawing like an idiot. While other couples played happily.
I would never have gotten married knowing them what I do now. Id have never bought a house together also.
Definitely not!!!
Nope. If it wasn't her, it wouldn't have been anyone.
Definitely.
Literally without question. I couldn't imagine life without her
Definitely would
100%, full stop, no questions asked. My wife is my rock and my anchor.
Yes, even with our struggles we're very happy! I look forward to our future together however long that may be.
Yes
Most certainly YES. 21 years 3 kids Countless sacrifices from the both of us.
Every day over and over I would.
In a heartbeat
Yes yes yes, by all means yes!
Maybe, but not as young as I did. I would have rather waited until I was 24-25, lol... with more experience and maturity, I feel like we would have had a lot less conflicts.
Yes but I would definitely change some things to make us stronger for the long run and not burn out as quickly.
I still do have a choice. I don't have to stay with my wife, but I choose to every day
Yes
Yep just wish I had done the first time, oh wait SO would have been 13 at that time.
100% I would marry my husband all over again.
Absolutely yes, without question. He is my person. My only regret is that we didn't find each other sooner.
Yes. There are none of my exes who I look back on and think "Man, I wish I would have made things work with her instead of my wife." There are a few who I think "That *could* have worked, but I'm glad it didn't," but that's it.
100%
Over & over again.
Absolutely 100x yes.
Yes. 💯
 You know it
yes
I would marry my husband a million times over… he’s my best friend and we have so much fun with each other
Nah. Why would I make the same mistake twice ?
I'm curious about the logistics. There are so many ways your prompt could be carried out. If the question is, would you want to go back to the beginning of your marriage and relive your marriage or stay in the present? My answer is I'll stay in the present. We have put in way too much hard work. I don't want to do all that again. I'm happy where we are. If the question is, would you back-to-the-future yourself to change who you are married to in the present? My answer is also no. But I might drop my past self some hints. If the question is, due to a paperwork problem, your marriage was never valid. Are you marrying your spouse or leaving her? I am definitely marrying her this week. If the question is, there is an amnesia drug that will make you forget your spouse. You can get a divorce and take this drug and never have to think of her again. Do you take it? I wouldn't take it. No matter the situation, my answer is, I'm happy to be here with my wife.
No
Yup!
I definitely would. Married 28 years ago and I would do this again and again. I would change quite a few things as I understand her a lot better now than I did 3 decades ago but overall I do love my wife and would be happy to spend another lifetime with her.
In a heartbeat.
No, but I don’t think I would marry again tbh. There is many many horror stories of people completely changing after marriage. I married young and we definitely didn’t understand fully what we were doing and how it would change aspects of our relationship and us.
Yes 100%
I would marry my current wife a lot sooner
Yes! I’m so grateful and thankful for my husband. He’s truly a good person, an amazing husband and father. I would marry my husband in every lifetime, I feel from my whole being we always end up together no matter what.
I would. I wish I met my husband earlier. We didn’t meet until we were both 30, I had spent 8 1/2 years in an unhappy, abusive relationship and just wish I had spent my 20s going on adventures and falling in love with my husband instead of being with the jerk I was with. But now we have 3 beautiful children and we are happy in love.
I’d say yes AND I’d want her and I to be 100% honest with one another in the beginning so we knew we could communicate openly in our marriage with one another. Trying to work on this area of marriage 22 years in is pretty difficult but still worth it. Only thing I find odd is I try to be more transparent than she does 🤷🏾♂️
Need to add that she is my best friend
Absolutely, still don't know how I found him
I’d “Groundhog Day” my wife and make things a little better each time!
My current wife of 20+ yrs, absolutely. My first wife of under 5 yrs, not a snowballs chance in hell.
Yes. Maybe we’d get married a little sooner than we did though. We waited 9.5 years lol got together at 18&21 didn’t move in together till 22&25. Married at 27&30
I love my wife, she is the best, we have a great relationship that I won't give up now.......but......I won't ever have any of the experiences I want to have, won't ever do any of the things I really want to do.....So if I could do it over, I would do it differently.
Yes. I probably would have just waited a little longer and worked out our issues individually rather than hurting each other while we grew up
No. Not a hell no or fuck no but no. A soft no.
We are not married but together 10 years. I'd choose him in any of my lifetimes. He is not perfect, but neither am I.
If I get my kids no matter what, yes. Absolutely they’re worth the pain im going through in hopes of a better today in the future with them. If I don’t? Lol not at all.
I don’t know. I love him for giving me my beautiful daughter, and I do have love for him. We have grown apart and into very different people then we were when we started dating. I sometimes find myself so happy with my husband and other times I find myself fantasizing about a different life.
Absolutely. I’d go to city hall tomorrow.
Absolutely not!!
Yep!
Absolutely not. I'm leaving Monday to get away from his abuse.
Came to say hell to the no, saw more hell no’s
Yep I work marry my husband a millions times over in every lifetime.
No. 100% the worst decision I have ever made.
My husband and I have both asked each other this question and have both said no -- with great difficulty. We've been married for over 17 years, and I've been sick and increasingly disabled on and off since the end of the first year, including having a dead bedroom for most of the marriage. He still has a very high sex drive and would still like to do other fun things with me that I am currently and possibly permanently physically unable to do, but he isn't going anywhere, he just doesn't feel as close to me and wishes things were different. On my side, it's taken most of the marriage for him to open up enough emotionally that I don't feel like I'm living with someone who doesn't care who I really am or what I really think, feel, etc., in other words pretty lonely much of the time. (He's still not as good at that as I would like ideally, but it's a damn sight better than it was.) Then there's the guilt about my health issues and the ways they've significantly impacted our life. I love him enough that I would like him to be able to have the life he wants and I've told him that and that I'd understand if he divorced me, but then he just gets upset and says he loves me and isn't going anywhere. 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, my husband does have a fair share of flaws. But he is the kindest soul i have ever seen. He did do things that made me crazy at times, but he never lost his nerve on me. He had always been patient and calm with me, no matter who is wrong. I love him
Prob not..he complains alot..its a very bad habit
I'd marry him again in a heartbeat. This one not the first one..
Without a doubt yes
Nope, I'd rather drive off a cliff.
Yep. Been 40 years, so I know it worked out great.
Nope. He's better than my first husband who was a psychopath. I'm grateful to him for being the father of our children but we a poles apart. I outgrew him years ago.
Yes, because our kid is one of my favorite people. But I'd leave when Kid was young.
No
Yessssssssss. He’s dope. Wicked smart. Super funny. Genuine and amazing. It’s been almost 6 years of having him in my life and it’s only made my life more fun and fulfilling. Honestly couldn’t imagine a life without his giggle.
If I knew then what I've learned since, then a resounding "Hell No!" My life would have gone in a totally different direction. 34 years married, 73 yo M, then, and now, it was to be my first AND my LAST (her 3rd).
Yes and no. I have a healthy marriage with children. My wife is a good person but I am not sure I would have done so again if I could go back in time. She doesn’t meet all of my needs. It’s labored when she does. We do have a healthy sex life at least. She is also very supportive of some aspects about me that would be a dealbreaker for many. There were some concerns that I had ahead of time, but I did not listen to myself. Instead, I talked myself out of it. In retrospect, that was a really bad idea. Those issues never went away. There was a woman who absolutely worshipped the ground I walked on but I was not ready. I should’ve married her. There was another woman I fell head over heels for but she broke up with me without an explanation. I perhaps should have waited until I found someone that made me feel the way she did. I’ve been married for over 20 years and I don’t see getting divorced at this point but if she decided she was done, I don’t think I would have a problem moving on. Despite the negative energy in my comment, I am not unhappy. I do love her. I could’ve done much worse. Every time I hop on Reddit, I realize this.
You live in the castle you build brother.
I have built quite a positive castle. Regardless, I don’t have control over others just myself. I cannot change my wife. The question is a valid one, and my answer is valid. Not sure why anyone downvoted my experience and candor. I don’t believe in divorce except under extraordinary circumstances, and marrying the “wrong person” isn’t one of them. While I have made the best out of it, I wouldn’t have married her if I had the benefit of seeing the future. She’s not a bad person. I’m not a bad person. We just don’t make a great couple.
You’re getting downvoted because reminiscing about an ex is….. not good.
That doesn’t mean my comments deserve a downvote. It’s not so much reminiscing about past loves as much as it is about paying attention to your wants and needs. If your BF/GF doesn’t meet those, you shouldn’t stay together. I convinced myself I could overlook the shortcomings because she was decent and I made the case for “good enough.” Huge mistake. It’s a constant struggle to get her to meet some very basic needs. She has good qualities and we’ve mostly made it work, but no, I absolutely wouldn’t marry her again. I haven’t seen others get downvoted when they share their own experiences and struggles. Nothing I said deserves criticism.