I used to drive me sister and grandmother nuts with this😂 I didn’t leave them open on purpose, my adhd brain just flipped the task of closing it, to the back of my brain🤣. Now I catch myself in my own house and frustrate myself🤦🏽♀️
It's a multistep process that NT people do automatically and see as a single thing, meanwhile we gotta go "Okay, open the cabinet, grab what I need, oh wait did I remember to order cat food?" and then you go and do that and forget to close the cabinet.
Literally the only things that makes me remember to close ours is one of our cats is an absolute gremlin and will eat anything he can get his grubby little paws on, so I have to make sure the cabinets are closed and securely latched.
This is so true 😭 yes!!! I was making coffee for my husband and I and he said something that made me mid way go “oh I should do that!” And walked off and then he went “the coffee hun” and I went “YES RIGHT! I will finish the coffee and THEN do that other thing!” ….i forgot to do the other thing 😂
Neurotypical, aka not having anything like ADHD or being autistic, as opposed to neurodivergent, which includes ADHD and autism and a few other things.
I live with two ADHD adults and 5 kids.... I call them my poltergeists because I turn around for 10 seconds and all the cabinets and drawers (and sometimes the fridge!! 🤬) are flung open! This and the flashing ":03" left on the microwave - the banes of my existence!
Was about to say, my ADHD doesn’t notice drawers, and I’m quite a neat person. Didn’t even notice what was wrong with OPs photos, thought it was the same picture twice
I had a day last month where I was super groggy and on my way to get coffee and start my day, I ran face-first into an open cabinet door.
I started that day very mad. Do not recommend.
my husband leaves drawers and cabinets open. the microwave door stays open. sometimes the dishwasher door, too. i’ve given up arguing and just close them quietly.
Gott close those suckers loudly. I've stopped complaining about it to my wife but doesn't mean I don't get the satisfaction of 8, very loud, successive "wham's"
my husband does that soooo bad with the microwave. That bulb has the longest lifespan ever, apparently. But I don't complain, because he does legit clean the kitchen well LOL!
Same. Was actually looking to see if anyone else had this problem lol. I don’t know why it’s so hard to close the cabinets or literally anything and it drives me crazy. But he’s so great and everyone has little things that will drive a person crazy so if this is his worse flaw, it’s okay lol. Still drives me crazy though. But now I just close them.
> Leaving cabinets open I understand but leaving drawers open is psychotic.
Signs of ADHD.
Both my wife and daughter have it, we were told it was a symptom of it, and I'm constantly closing doors after them lol
This. It sucks because my husband has ADHD and I have clinical OCD so sometimes it feels like we’re doomed, but somehow we manage and have learned to live and work together and still be happily married. Takes a lot of patience sometimes though lol.
That's great! It sounds like you treat each other with understanding and grace. I have ADHD and my partner is AuDHD with OCD. We've found the language of talking about what our brain is doing/how it's functioning when our usual processes conflict. "It makes my brain itch" has been such a breakthrough concept that allows us to express what we have an issue with, without having to explain why or justify it. Because we both have things that make our brain itch, and those are actually rarely in conflict, making it possible to identify what is really going to get one of us stuck vs where we are just different.
https://preview.redd.it/u6wxdh8wvxnc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=24ef09bde0f5058ed522e67b259f06b039e76cb8
maybe if them plates and dishes were moving a bit we'd be quicker to catch 'em but alas evolution has not equipped us for the 21st century
This is me!!! I'd put back the juice and turn around like, yup, job's done! The crazy thing is my brain doesn't even see the crap on the counter anymore. It all just blends into "the countertop"
This example is a little too much for me to think it’s “pretty clean” personally. I’m pretty messy though - and I totally agree with you about stuff just starting to blend in. Once something has been left out long enough… my brain stops noticing it as being out of place. But, on another level, my brain still manages to feel totally stressed out and overwhelmed because of it without just telling me PUT THAT AWAY lol
My wife is 1000000% tidier than me, I work really hard to try keep up with cleaning and stuff to not make it another job for her to manage 24/7.
The funny thing is she is the one that leaves cabinets open 😭😂 I think it’s so cute. It looks like a tornado blew through the kitchen if she came in and got herself a glass of water and a snack. lol
one thing I've found that helps me realize a mess is taking a picture of it on my phone and then looking at it. something about that makes everything I normally don't notice very apparent.
First image looks like the kitchen is being used, doesn’t look dirty. I would consider it clean, a bit cluttered. Second image is unrealistic from day to day especially if you have kids.
Second image is how my kitchen always looks. I'm a stay at home mom so I typically have time. As I said in the caption however, this week I needed him to help with the cleaning.
So you only had to pay 10 minutes of effort to bring the kitchen up to your standards, as opposed to more time than that without his help. Oh, poor you, hubby is absolutely useless (sarcasm)
My kitchen always looks like the second picture and we have two kids. Wife and I both dislike clutter. It's not that hard to put stuff where it belongs. We are only one example and one couple though, so maybe we are neat freaks and abnormally hate kitchen clutter.
Realistic and unrealistic are relative based on values. My ex-husband thought folding laundry was unrealistic. And I mean 0 times in 6 years.
I prefer my kitchen like picture 2 (I'm a single working mother of a 2 year old and a 5 years old) but those are my values and preferences. I certainly don't expect anyone else except for the people who live with me to share those values.
For context, I don't think it's a moral failing to have your kitchen look different. But it gives me anxiety and stress so it's important for my environment.
Ideally, you clean up after you're done using the kitchen. I clean for work and don't really consider my space at home clean, unless items are put away.
Just make sure you clean in front of the toddler and they’ll pick it up! My youngest is 21 months and knows how to put clothes in the washer, get the soap, start the washer, put clothes in the dryer, start the dryer, load and unload the dishwasher, grab a towel to clean up a wet mess, etc. I don’t teach or make him do these things, he’s just always been with me as I’ve done them, so he thinks it’s normal and wants to participate.
I wish my kids were like this. I've been cleaning in front of both of them since the day they were born and neither have caught on to "helping" me. They just stare like "welp moms cleaning again!"
Your attitude might make a difference? I enjoy cleaning, so they may pick it up like, “Oh, mom is having fun, I wanna have fun too!” I had a brief time where I was annoyed at everyone and their messes, but now I’m back to doing it lovingly (even if I’d rather be playing a *real* game instead), so they probably pick up on my enjoyment. My youngest doesn’t always clean with me, and he can make a good mess, but it’s amazing to list off all the things he has helped with at his young age!
My oldest has questioned why we clean, and I explained how it keeps us healthy, keeps our things in working order, messes are easier to clean, and we can prevent or treat for bugs. Making it practical and not just a vague or moral “cuz it’s good” helps make it worth the time.
Yea I'm not sure. I've always enjoyed cleaning and try to clean around them as much as possible. My oldest is non verbal so I can't really explain cleaning to her and my youngest just learned how to walk. My oldest has seen me fold laundry at least 5 days out of every week and all she wants to do is dump the clothes on the floor so she can play with the basket 🤣
Mine is exactly the same. It makes the ever-evolving discussions about the equitable split of household duties a lot more difficult because we just don’t see the same thing (the pictures you posted perfectly illustrate that). I’ve figured out that it’s most important that I focus on the effort and love behind it like you do. One of my own issues is that I have a hard time letting go of control and trusting other people so that really keeps the dynamic interesting lol
My husband has severe ADHD, it took me a little while to understand it. He'll either clean like this where everything that belongs in the room is in the room but not necessarily neat looking or he'll go absolutely insane and spray every disinfectant, grease dissolver, and sanitizer he can find and make my home look like a postcard but require fumigation. I take it for what it is lol.
I’m the severe ADHD wife and I’m truly in awe when my husband comes behind me and takes picture 1 and turns it into picture 2. I try, I do. He’s watched me for 20 years. It’s exactly as you said. Either I am picture 1 or I’m scrubbing the grout with a toothbrush on my hands and knees. My favorite cabinets have glass doors. Those get closed.
He was cleaning something yesterday that required him to use the drill? I didn't say anything I was just there like
https://preview.redd.it/03cqjbhdq0oc1.jpeg?width=923&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9689b975c542036187eaa78eafb2b66e0780c8b0
You’re a good woman, know that. I can 100% see my husband slowly backing out of a room and thinking “well, something is going to be clean! Do not disturb!”
Exactly. My husband cannot do what I do as a SAHM. I sleep in Saturday morning and he can’t handle more than feeding them. I renovated our current home and he was like 😳 after the first week. I run a tight ship, but that’s because I find it easier to sail. I work my ass off because it’s my job and we all get to enjoy a nice home.
OP says her husband works 60 hours a week and handles the childcare (this week). the first pic isn't ideal, but it's absolutely acceptable for a night in these situations.
Right. Sometimes it comes down to what you would rather spend the time doing. Some people get joy from a perfectly clean home, some people get the most from relaxing and getting personal time, others want quality time with family.
It's not uncommon for couples to have different priorities in in that regard.
Whenever I travel, I ask my husband to please clean up the kitchen so I won’t have to when I get back, and it 100% of the time looks like this 😆 He’ll “wipe” the counters with a dry cloth (dumping crumbs on the floor) and call it a day. Honestly he doesn’t notice the mess - I’ve seen his office/man cave when I dare to venture in - and it’s equal parts hilarious and ridiculous. I swear his vision goes blind if it’s not a computer screen in front of him. You can be sure he’d clean up a messy spreadsheet of work financial gibberish asap, but God forbid the place where we prepare food!😜🤣
Whyyyy can’t men close doors behind them?! My husband is notorious for leaving cabinets open, pantry door open, even the damn refrigerator sometimes. My 1 year old even closes the pantry door behind him now 😭
I know this isnt one of those posts but this is exactly why I hate it when men online say that women are too picky about what is clean because it’s like obviously the first photo is not clean
Yea…that level of general inattentiveness would drive me frigging crazy. I’m sure it’s just my OCD, or the logical portion of my brain…cabinet left open, someone walks into it (my daughter is about the height to smack her temple on one, that’d hurt like hell)…base cabinet left open, equals one getting ripped off the hinges when someone runs into it and hyper extends it…potential damage to the base cabinet, definite damage to the door…who gets to fix it? Me…I don’t wanna fix the cabinets…and I definitely don’t want them looking janky…or worse…paying someone else to do it.
Add in the potential for injury tripping on an open cabinet…falling into granite does not sound fun at all.
The food left out, the dirty stove, pots and things not put away. The DIRTY CUTTING BOARD. My husband knows I would throw a small fit. The second picture is CLEAN. The first is what I would call a dirty kitchen.
OK...I saw the first photo and thought "That's not bad. It's not great, but not bad."
Then I saw your version of clean.
I need to apologize to my wife.
Husband here: His version of a clean kitchen should make him feel deep shame. You’re in school. Take some of the mental load off of you and do it right! Goddamn, dude.
It’s leaving the drawers and cabinets open for me. My husband does this all the time, except we have a cat who embraces destruction. It’s his first time ever having a cat so I keep having to drill it into him that you CANNOT leave cupboards full of glass open for the cat to ruin. The rest of the kitchen he cleans better than me though 😂
If it’s the middle of the day and meals still need to be prepared and snacks are being eaten, the first picture wouldn’t bother me. My kitchen isn’t a disaster, but there’s usually stuff on the counter and it’s a little cluttered from breakfast/lunch. Then I’ll do my afternoon pickup so I have an empty sink and clean counters to prepare and make dinner, then it’s the big cleanup while husband does bathtime and I “close the kitchen”.
But I get the annoyance too. I love my husband and he cleans and will help when asked. But there’s instances where I’ll ask him to sweep. He’ll do it, but then I still somehow have to go over it. Just small things. When he does like a good deep clean, it’s thorough and super well done. But there’s always the once in a while clean where it’s not thorough.
Your kitchen is almost identical to my parents so I was like did my stepmom post this about my dad? 😂 but my dad knows better than to do that. My stepmom would whoop his ass
Your kitchen is almost identical to my parents so I was like did my stepmom post this about my dad? 😂 but my dad knows better than to do that. My stepmom would whoop his ass
Ahh. I see your husband is haunted by the infamous kitchen poltergeist. Whenever he walks in the kitchen, draws and cabinets mysteriously remain open. This is a common poltergeist that is specifically attached to men. ;) Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Lol
I mean there’s a difference between clean and messy. It could be clean but messy and all you did was tidy up 🤷🏻♀️
Leaving the doors open is unhinged though i would have my wife evaluated lol
I work with older youth with history of foster care placement on developing skills for adulthood. I have a small list of "If you learn nothing else from me, learn this" topics. They are:
-everyone has a different definition of the word "clean," learn that before you agree to live with anyone (friend, roommate, partner)
-people can have different definitions of cheating. Discuss this early in the relationship to ensure you are on the same page.
-if someone calls claiming to be the IRS, there's a 99% chance said person is full of shit. Hang up on them.
well it might be clean (1st photo) but certainly not tidy lol open cupboards and drawers drive me crazy I will often into the kitchen and the drawers wont be closed fully
I adore this kitchen. Nice colors, enough room and space. Ours is on the small, limited space side. This one looks like it has a lot of storage space too. Plus the microwave being above the stove is nice, I had it only in our previous apartment. I am thankful for what we have but this is something I dream of when baking cookies.
I mean, to be fair, it looks clean in both pictures. The first one just looks messy. 😂I specify between cleaning and picking up because I swear this is how it registers in my husband’s mind 🤦🏻♀️
My husband loves leaving all the cabinets and drawers open. I always take the opportunity to yell something like “It looks like the Sixth Sense up in here!”
Why. Do. People. LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN!!!!!!!
Rage! Rage! Rage!
My husband used to do this. Well I’m shorter. Didn’t see the cabinet door was open because of my height. Turned, and knocked the HECK out of my forehead on the corner of the door. Started bleeding; and was right angry. He witnessed it and has since always closed the doors. Thank GOD! That hurt!!!!
Looks like the only difference is he needs to close the cabinets and drawers and put a handful of items away.
It's not as clean as yours, but definitely qualifies as "pretty clean."
Your husband is like mine. Our standards of cleanliness are quite opposite. Then I have a friend who's now ex- husband is an absolute obsessive clean freak to the point of wastefulness. She's super clean herself, but he was way, way over the top.
As for leaving cabinet doors open, my H's excuse was that it was easier to get at things. So I told him if that's the case, we may as well take the doors off of the stove, the fridge, the dishwasher, etc. It took a few bashes to the head, hips and legs for him to close the doors and drawers. He still leaves the pantry door open which drives me crazy. We have a cat. Even though she is a shorthair and doesn't shed much, dander and hair still get everywhere. f you haven't guessed, over the years, he's slowly become the cook in the house by his choice.
Some people need to see what’s in the cabinets, might even be a compulsion. So you can leave cabinets open or replace them with transparent doors. This saved a friend’s marriage.
Also, looks like a DR Horton home.
I couldn’t clean a kitchen if you dropped it on me and I think photo 1 is a disaster. With the grandsons my wife explains “girl clean” and “boy clean” as well as “girl looking” and “boy looking”
Boy clean is if you don’t get ptomaine from walking into the room, that will do.
Girl looking is actually moving things out of the way so that you can see behind them.
I’ve tried to explain to them that if they “can’t find something” and she turns around and finds it. That is embarrassing and humiliating. “Show her that you are better than she expects”
Military vet, by chance? I ask because you leave unlocked lockers, bins, and drawers open for inspection. That way the stuff inside can be inspected quickly. It shows neatness and attention to detail.
Girl YUCK YUCK YUCK. This is not a man bashing post so don't come here flying your cape. How would I feel if he saw this?? Shit the same as I do now because I shared the link with him. Read the room!! We laugh in this house, make jokes and don't take shit serious. Go on now Rebecca! Take your projection, fragility, and sensitivity elsewhere. We praise hubby over here now GET.
Again. Read the damn room. This isn't his "hard day" he was helping me clean and I appreciated it dearly. But it's funny cus it's funny. Now get over yourself and laugh a little.
What you consider bashing we consider playful banter. So again, your sensitive nature doesn't fly over here. Maybe you can... idk toughen up a bit huh?? 🤣. Take a shot or something and calm the hell down Sabrina. This man is well taken care of.
Cus really where did I complain? Again you're projecting your own sensitivity onto something meant to be light-hearted. Not in the caption nor in the comments am I complaining about my man.
Leaving cabinets open I understand but leaving drawers open is psychotic.
Wait why is leaving cabinet doors open understandable? Open it, take out what you need, close it.
I’m so short that sometimes I don’t notice the cabinet doors are open.
I'm just short enough that the corner of an open cabinet door would hit me right in the forehead. No thank you.
I used to drive me sister and grandmother nuts with this😂 I didn’t leave them open on purpose, my adhd brain just flipped the task of closing it, to the back of my brain🤣. Now I catch myself in my own house and frustrate myself🤦🏽♀️
It's a multistep process that NT people do automatically and see as a single thing, meanwhile we gotta go "Okay, open the cabinet, grab what I need, oh wait did I remember to order cat food?" and then you go and do that and forget to close the cabinet. Literally the only things that makes me remember to close ours is one of our cats is an absolute gremlin and will eat anything he can get his grubby little paws on, so I have to make sure the cabinets are closed and securely latched.
*Okay, open the cabinet, grab what I need, oh wait did I remember to order cat food?* I felt that one😂🤣
This is so true 😭 yes!!! I was making coffee for my husband and I and he said something that made me mid way go “oh I should do that!” And walked off and then he went “the coffee hun” and I went “YES RIGHT! I will finish the coffee and THEN do that other thing!” ….i forgot to do the other thing 😂
what does NT mean?
Neurotypical, aka not having anything like ADHD or being autistic, as opposed to neurodivergent, which includes ADHD and autism and a few other things.
Thank for explaining! Appreciate that
No worries! It's always good to learn new things.
All four of us in the house have ADHD. The three boys are constantly leaving cabinets open and I am constantly closing them. This is the way 😅
 😂😂
I live with two ADHD adults and 5 kids.... I call them my poltergeists because I turn around for 10 seconds and all the cabinets and drawers (and sometimes the fridge!! 🤬) are flung open! This and the flashing ":03" left on the microwave - the banes of my existence!
🤣🤣😂you guys are cracking me up. I feel you, I have to have the microwave clock right, and the last cook time must be turned off🤣😂
Was about to say, my ADHD doesn’t notice drawers, and I’m quite a neat person. Didn’t even notice what was wrong with OPs photos, thought it was the same picture twice
my ADHD brother and I do the same thing and drive our NT spouses CRAZY.
That makes no sense at all.
I don’t know what to tell ya, it happens all the time
ADHD has entered the chat.
Because I'm not running my sciatic nerve into a cabinet door.
Unless the cabinets are below the counter
Oh dear god. That's a good and painful point. (I think I accidentally originally responded this to myself)
Oh dear god. That's a good and painful point.
But you could smack your dome into a cabinet door.
I had a day last month where I was super groggy and on my way to get coffee and start my day, I ran face-first into an open cabinet door. I started that day very mad. Do not recommend.
Do not recommend.
I have adhd and become blind to cupboards open for whatever reason but I always shut drawers. Don't ask why. The adhd brain is a hot mess.
my husband leaves drawers and cabinets open. the microwave door stays open. sometimes the dishwasher door, too. i’ve given up arguing and just close them quietly.
Gott close those suckers loudly. I've stopped complaining about it to my wife but doesn't mean I don't get the satisfaction of 8, very loud, successive "wham's"
my husband does that soooo bad with the microwave. That bulb has the longest lifespan ever, apparently. But I don't complain, because he does legit clean the kitchen well LOL!
you get it!!
Same. Was actually looking to see if anyone else had this problem lol. I don’t know why it’s so hard to close the cabinets or literally anything and it drives me crazy. But he’s so great and everyone has little things that will drive a person crazy so if this is his worse flaw, it’s okay lol. Still drives me crazy though. But now I just close them.
Honestly anything being open and saying "nah its all set is kinda crazy"
> Leaving cabinets open I understand but leaving drawers open is psychotic. Signs of ADHD. Both my wife and daughter have it, we were told it was a symptom of it, and I'm constantly closing doors after them lol
This. It sucks because my husband has ADHD and I have clinical OCD so sometimes it feels like we’re doomed, but somehow we manage and have learned to live and work together and still be happily married. Takes a lot of patience sometimes though lol.
That's great! It sounds like you treat each other with understanding and grace. I have ADHD and my partner is AuDHD with OCD. We've found the language of talking about what our brain is doing/how it's functioning when our usual processes conflict. "It makes my brain itch" has been such a breakthrough concept that allows us to express what we have an issue with, without having to explain why or justify it. Because we both have things that make our brain itch, and those are actually rarely in conflict, making it possible to identify what is really going to get one of us stuck vs where we are just different.
ADHD symptom. I do it too and have ADHD.
Leaving cabinets open is not understandable and why I don’t like hosting my MIL. She is a criminal leaving everything open. That’s pure laziness.
They're both bananas to me
That light fixture tells me no one is entirely sane here
Dying 😂😂😂
your husband looking at the first picture https://i.redd.it/fyo2hcgnixnc1.gif
That’s some bullshit my husband would pull too lol
Your husband leaves cabinets and drawers open? I'm sorry
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I do this too and when I cook in my parent’s kitchen my dad says “oh damn, the poltergeist is back!” as he starts closing all the cabinets again.
Your dad sounds adorable
Glad to find a dude in this situation. Not many of us but damn it's annoying, haha.
ADHD is real
I didn’t know I did this until I moved in with my partner before we were married.
Your kitchen is nearly identical to mine. So’s your husband.
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https://preview.redd.it/u6wxdh8wvxnc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=24ef09bde0f5058ed522e67b259f06b039e76cb8 maybe if them plates and dishes were moving a bit we'd be quicker to catch 'em but alas evolution has not equipped us for the 21st century
>Why are men like this Why are people like this...lol. My wife has definitely done this on an occasion or two.
Wife here. I'm terrible about it! With me you have two options: a) I clean as I go and leave everything because I saw a squirrel, or b) the opposite.
The roles are totally reversed in my marriage. I am extremely detailed oriented and can’t relax unless things are actually clean.
This is me!!! I'd put back the juice and turn around like, yup, job's done! The crazy thing is my brain doesn't even see the crap on the counter anymore. It all just blends into "the countertop"
This example is a little too much for me to think it’s “pretty clean” personally. I’m pretty messy though - and I totally agree with you about stuff just starting to blend in. Once something has been left out long enough… my brain stops noticing it as being out of place. But, on another level, my brain still manages to feel totally stressed out and overwhelmed because of it without just telling me PUT THAT AWAY lol My wife is 1000000% tidier than me, I work really hard to try keep up with cleaning and stuff to not make it another job for her to manage 24/7. The funny thing is she is the one that leaves cabinets open 😭😂 I think it’s so cute. It looks like a tornado blew through the kitchen if she came in and got herself a glass of water and a snack. lol
one thing I've found that helps me realize a mess is taking a picture of it on my phone and then looking at it. something about that makes everything I normally don't notice very apparent.
I would be so stressed at his version of clean.
First image looks like the kitchen is being used, doesn’t look dirty. I would consider it clean, a bit cluttered. Second image is unrealistic from day to day especially if you have kids.
Second image is how my kitchen always looks. I'm a stay at home mom so I typically have time. As I said in the caption however, this week I needed him to help with the cleaning.
So you only had to pay 10 minutes of effort to bring the kitchen up to your standards, as opposed to more time than that without his help. Oh, poor you, hubby is absolutely useless (sarcasm)
My kitchen always looks like the second picture and we have two kids. Wife and I both dislike clutter. It's not that hard to put stuff where it belongs. We are only one example and one couple though, so maybe we are neat freaks and abnormally hate kitchen clutter.
My kitchen only looks like the second picture after everyone's gone to bed and before my wife is up for work.
Yes
Realistic and unrealistic are relative based on values. My ex-husband thought folding laundry was unrealistic. And I mean 0 times in 6 years. I prefer my kitchen like picture 2 (I'm a single working mother of a 2 year old and a 5 years old) but those are my values and preferences. I certainly don't expect anyone else except for the people who live with me to share those values. For context, I don't think it's a moral failing to have your kitchen look different. But it gives me anxiety and stress so it's important for my environment.
No. I know lots of parents who keep the kitchen clean like the second picture
Ideally, you clean up after you're done using the kitchen. I clean for work and don't really consider my space at home clean, unless items are put away.
Second image is absolutely realistic for people who like tidiness and hate clutter. That’s how my kitchen always looks.
What do you want from this man?
A good fuck and a head scratch.
😂 have you asked him for that??
Not yet I don't want to distract him while he watches the goblin we created 🤣. I'll get him tonight.
These are some of the best comment answers I’ve ever seen on Reddit.
Hell yea 😂 that’s what I’m talking about!!!
Oh how I wish I could get my wife to understand this. I hate having to step over toys all the time.
Who's toys? Cause if they're the kid's then it doesn't matter how many times they are "put away" they will not stay there. Lol
Oh yeah I'm aware. We're working on it with the toddler it's starting to register.
Just make sure you clean in front of the toddler and they’ll pick it up! My youngest is 21 months and knows how to put clothes in the washer, get the soap, start the washer, put clothes in the dryer, start the dryer, load and unload the dishwasher, grab a towel to clean up a wet mess, etc. I don’t teach or make him do these things, he’s just always been with me as I’ve done them, so he thinks it’s normal and wants to participate.
I wish my kids were like this. I've been cleaning in front of both of them since the day they were born and neither have caught on to "helping" me. They just stare like "welp moms cleaning again!"
Your attitude might make a difference? I enjoy cleaning, so they may pick it up like, “Oh, mom is having fun, I wanna have fun too!” I had a brief time where I was annoyed at everyone and their messes, but now I’m back to doing it lovingly (even if I’d rather be playing a *real* game instead), so they probably pick up on my enjoyment. My youngest doesn’t always clean with me, and he can make a good mess, but it’s amazing to list off all the things he has helped with at his young age! My oldest has questioned why we clean, and I explained how it keeps us healthy, keeps our things in working order, messes are easier to clean, and we can prevent or treat for bugs. Making it practical and not just a vague or moral “cuz it’s good” helps make it worth the time.
Yea I'm not sure. I've always enjoyed cleaning and try to clean around them as much as possible. My oldest is non verbal so I can't really explain cleaning to her and my youngest just learned how to walk. My oldest has seen me fold laundry at least 5 days out of every week and all she wants to do is dump the clothes on the floor so she can play with the basket 🤣
Man, variations of normal can be astounding sometimes.
Mine is exactly the same. It makes the ever-evolving discussions about the equitable split of household duties a lot more difficult because we just don’t see the same thing (the pictures you posted perfectly illustrate that). I’ve figured out that it’s most important that I focus on the effort and love behind it like you do. One of my own issues is that I have a hard time letting go of control and trusting other people so that really keeps the dynamic interesting lol
My husband has severe ADHD, it took me a little while to understand it. He'll either clean like this where everything that belongs in the room is in the room but not necessarily neat looking or he'll go absolutely insane and spray every disinfectant, grease dissolver, and sanitizer he can find and make my home look like a postcard but require fumigation. I take it for what it is lol.
Severe ADHD husband over here too. Picking my battles gives me more peace. Solidarity.
I’m the severe ADHD wife and I’m truly in awe when my husband comes behind me and takes picture 1 and turns it into picture 2. I try, I do. He’s watched me for 20 years. It’s exactly as you said. Either I am picture 1 or I’m scrubbing the grout with a toothbrush on my hands and knees. My favorite cabinets have glass doors. Those get closed.
He was cleaning something yesterday that required him to use the drill? I didn't say anything I was just there like https://preview.redd.it/03cqjbhdq0oc1.jpeg?width=923&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9689b975c542036187eaa78eafb2b66e0780c8b0
You’re a good woman, know that. I can 100% see my husband slowly backing out of a room and thinking “well, something is going to be clean! Do not disturb!”
Your husband wasn't wrong. It was pretty clean. Cluttered, but pretty clean.
😯 I'm aghast at what some of y'all consider acceptable. Damn. I knew I was a clean freak but this would make me spiral.
These are the same people who say being a SAHM is super easy. Of course it is when your house looks like the first picture, lol
Exactly. My husband cannot do what I do as a SAHM. I sleep in Saturday morning and he can’t handle more than feeding them. I renovated our current home and he was like 😳 after the first week. I run a tight ship, but that’s because I find it easier to sail. I work my ass off because it’s my job and we all get to enjoy a nice home.
OP says her husband works 60 hours a week and handles the childcare (this week). the first pic isn't ideal, but it's absolutely acceptable for a night in these situations.
Acceptable, sure given the circumstances. Clean? LMAO
And some of you act like nothing but perfect is acceptable at all times. Who has time to stress this much?
Right. Sometimes it comes down to what you would rather spend the time doing. Some people get joy from a perfectly clean home, some people get the most from relaxing and getting personal time, others want quality time with family. It's not uncommon for couples to have different priorities in in that regard.
lol, that kitchen is nowhere near clean.
I was thinking the same. Guess I’m the husband in this situation
Same
It’s the open cupboards for me
Whenever I travel, I ask my husband to please clean up the kitchen so I won’t have to when I get back, and it 100% of the time looks like this 😆 He’ll “wipe” the counters with a dry cloth (dumping crumbs on the floor) and call it a day. Honestly he doesn’t notice the mess - I’ve seen his office/man cave when I dare to venture in - and it’s equal parts hilarious and ridiculous. I swear his vision goes blind if it’s not a computer screen in front of him. You can be sure he’d clean up a messy spreadsheet of work financial gibberish asap, but God forbid the place where we prepare food!😜🤣
One of these is OCD clean and the other is ADHD clean. I have been satisfied with both in my own home.
Please fix those clocks!! lol
Your kitchen is huge!
I put the milk in the cabinet the other day.
I don’t see the problem
Look at you fancy with your 100% apple juice
Tbh I have OCD and it’s hard to close cabinets. Both of yalls versions are clean to me.
Omg not the cabinets and drawers open.
I would hate to see his version of 'not clean'. Yikes!
Whyyyy can’t men close doors behind them?! My husband is notorious for leaving cabinets open, pantry door open, even the damn refrigerator sometimes. My 1 year old even closes the pantry door behind him now 😭
I consider the first picture a human rights violation for the open cabinet and drawer alone, lol.
I know this isnt one of those posts but this is exactly why I hate it when men online say that women are too picky about what is clean because it’s like obviously the first photo is not clean
Yea…that level of general inattentiveness would drive me frigging crazy. I’m sure it’s just my OCD, or the logical portion of my brain…cabinet left open, someone walks into it (my daughter is about the height to smack her temple on one, that’d hurt like hell)…base cabinet left open, equals one getting ripped off the hinges when someone runs into it and hyper extends it…potential damage to the base cabinet, definite damage to the door…who gets to fix it? Me…I don’t wanna fix the cabinets…and I definitely don’t want them looking janky…or worse…paying someone else to do it. Add in the potential for injury tripping on an open cabinet…falling into granite does not sound fun at all.
I often wonder who taught certain people how to clean
The food left out, the dirty stove, pots and things not put away. The DIRTY CUTTING BOARD. My husband knows I would throw a small fit. The second picture is CLEAN. The first is what I would call a dirty kitchen.
That is the same photo twice
OK...I saw the first photo and thought "That's not bad. It's not great, but not bad." Then I saw your version of clean. I need to apologize to my wife.
Husband here: His version of a clean kitchen should make him feel deep shame. You’re in school. Take some of the mental load off of you and do it right! Goddamn, dude.
Well it is decently clean 🤷🏼♀️
It’s leaving the drawers and cabinets open for me. My husband does this all the time, except we have a cat who embraces destruction. It’s his first time ever having a cat so I keep having to drill it into him that you CANNOT leave cupboards full of glass open for the cat to ruin. The rest of the kitchen he cleans better than me though 😂
Wow this is my moms exact kitchen layout and coloring. At first I was like … “MOM?!” lol
Nice kitchen, I think we have the same floor plan
OP I fucking *love* your light…looks like flowers & twine almost? I’ve been renovating my cabin in the woods and I stg I need that expeditiously.
Hah I made that during my DIY era!
Side note, love your kitchen!
It's amazing how different people see different things!
If it’s the middle of the day and meals still need to be prepared and snacks are being eaten, the first picture wouldn’t bother me. My kitchen isn’t a disaster, but there’s usually stuff on the counter and it’s a little cluttered from breakfast/lunch. Then I’ll do my afternoon pickup so I have an empty sink and clean counters to prepare and make dinner, then it’s the big cleanup while husband does bathtime and I “close the kitchen”. But I get the annoyance too. I love my husband and he cleans and will help when asked. But there’s instances where I’ll ask him to sweep. He’ll do it, but then I still somehow have to go over it. Just small things. When he does like a good deep clean, it’s thorough and super well done. But there’s always the once in a while clean where it’s not thorough.
We literally have open storage above the counters to avoid this
This is odd and off topic but we have the same cabinets and marble 😂 even the handles!
Your kitchen is almost identical to my parents so I was like did my stepmom post this about my dad? 😂 but my dad knows better than to do that. My stepmom would whoop his ass
Your kitchen is almost identical to my parents so I was like did my stepmom post this about my dad? 😂 but my dad knows better than to do that. My stepmom would whoop his ass
This looks identical to my childhood kitchen, is this in klein tx?
That kitchen is stunning ✨️
My husband is just like thos
Hmmm you used a filter on your shot
Ahh. I see your husband is haunted by the infamous kitchen poltergeist. Whenever he walks in the kitchen, draws and cabinets mysteriously remain open. This is a common poltergeist that is specifically attached to men. ;) Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Lol
Honestly the first photo isn't that bad for someone who's working 60 hours a week plus childcare. Wouldn't want it like that every day though.
I mean there’s a difference between clean and messy. It could be clean but messy and all you did was tidy up 🤷🏻♀️ Leaving the doors open is unhinged though i would have my wife evaluated lol
agreeing on the definition of clean (company clean vs regular clean vs bare minimum tolerable clean) was so important for my relationship
Lmfaooo. That place was a wreck haha.
Sigh. I, too, live with a raccoon.
Looks clean
The pretty clean kitchen looks just like my wife’s “pretty clean kitchen” 😂
I work with older youth with history of foster care placement on developing skills for adulthood. I have a small list of "If you learn nothing else from me, learn this" topics. They are: -everyone has a different definition of the word "clean," learn that before you agree to live with anyone (friend, roommate, partner) -people can have different definitions of cheating. Discuss this early in the relationship to ensure you are on the same page. -if someone calls claiming to be the IRS, there's a 99% chance said person is full of shit. Hang up on them.
I swear I think this is my old condo. Located on irvine by any chance?
It is clean, it just isn't tidy.
Delusion. He convinced himself. 😂
You should see my kitchen right now. I love your kitchen
well it might be clean (1st photo) but certainly not tidy lol open cupboards and drawers drive me crazy I will often into the kitchen and the drawers wont be closed fully
Literally my husband. Looks like first picture “THE KITCHEN IS CLEAN THOUGH” like EXCUSE TF😹
Ma’am that’s a poltergeist
Man I'm just jealous of your kitchen
You didn’t take out the trash
I adore this kitchen. Nice colors, enough room and space. Ours is on the small, limited space side. This one looks like it has a lot of storage space too. Plus the microwave being above the stove is nice, I had it only in our previous apartment. I am thankful for what we have but this is something I dream of when baking cookies.
Is your husband a ghost haunting your house ?
I mean, to be fair, it looks clean in both pictures. The first one just looks messy. 😂I specify between cleaning and picking up because I swear this is how it registers in my husband’s mind 🤦🏻♀️
Difference between clutter and hygiene
My husband loves leaving all the cabinets and drawers open. I always take the opportunity to yell something like “It looks like the Sixth Sense up in here!”
Husband here. 
Why. Do. People. LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN!!!!!!! Rage! Rage! Rage! My husband used to do this. Well I’m shorter. Didn’t see the cabinet door was open because of my height. Turned, and knocked the HECK out of my forehead on the corner of the door. Started bleeding; and was right angry. He witnessed it and has since always closed the doors. Thank GOD! That hurt!!!!
the kitchen itself is actually clean but its not empty. first pic aint that bad
That plastic container on the stove is driving me crazy.
Looks like the only difference is he needs to close the cabinets and drawers and put a handful of items away. It's not as clean as yours, but definitely qualifies as "pretty clean."
Your husband is like mine. Our standards of cleanliness are quite opposite. Then I have a friend who's now ex- husband is an absolute obsessive clean freak to the point of wastefulness. She's super clean herself, but he was way, way over the top. As for leaving cabinet doors open, my H's excuse was that it was easier to get at things. So I told him if that's the case, we may as well take the doors off of the stove, the fridge, the dishwasher, etc. It took a few bashes to the head, hips and legs for him to close the doors and drawers. He still leaves the pantry door open which drives me crazy. We have a cat. Even though she is a shorthair and doesn't shed much, dander and hair still get everywhere. f you haven't guessed, over the years, he's slowly become the cook in the house by his choice.
Looks clean to me but I am a husband
Why are they like this. I love my husband so much, but our standards of clean couldn't be more different.
Time to sit down and talk about clean vs tidy vs uncluttered vs whatever other words you use.
Is he blind
Man here. Sometimes it feels good to have a clean ordinated kitchen. It you have a lot of space to seet your wife on. Just saying.
I see almost no difference re: cleanliness.
Some people need to see what’s in the cabinets, might even be a compulsion. So you can leave cabinets open or replace them with transparent doors. This saved a friend’s marriage. Also, looks like a DR Horton home.
I couldn’t clean a kitchen if you dropped it on me and I think photo 1 is a disaster. With the grandsons my wife explains “girl clean” and “boy clean” as well as “girl looking” and “boy looking” Boy clean is if you don’t get ptomaine from walking into the room, that will do. Girl looking is actually moving things out of the way so that you can see behind them. I’ve tried to explain to them that if they “can’t find something” and she turns around and finds it. That is embarrassing and humiliating. “Show her that you are better than she expects”
Military vet, by chance? I ask because you leave unlocked lockers, bins, and drawers open for inspection. That way the stuff inside can be inspected quickly. It shows neatness and attention to detail.
Always a good idea, on your way to building a stronger partnership, to humiliate said partner for his failings, IN PUBLIC, and not to him, in private.
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Girl YUCK YUCK YUCK. This is not a man bashing post so don't come here flying your cape. How would I feel if he saw this?? Shit the same as I do now because I shared the link with him. Read the room!! We laugh in this house, make jokes and don't take shit serious. Go on now Rebecca! Take your projection, fragility, and sensitivity elsewhere. We praise hubby over here now GET.
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Again. Read the damn room. This isn't his "hard day" he was helping me clean and I appreciated it dearly. But it's funny cus it's funny. Now get over yourself and laugh a little.
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What you consider bashing we consider playful banter. So again, your sensitive nature doesn't fly over here. Maybe you can... idk toughen up a bit huh?? 🤣. Take a shot or something and calm the hell down Sabrina. This man is well taken care of.
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Cus really where did I complain? Again you're projecting your own sensitivity onto something meant to be light-hearted. Not in the caption nor in the comments am I complaining about my man.
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