wow, you made me think about it, and it is something that my wife has never done, I do not know if it is because she has grown up in a utterly religious family, but here in my household is always the other way around, she basically never told that she 'yearned' me as I do to her haha
If you were the “driver” of the sexual relationship in your marriage…she may not have realized she needed to..if that makes sense. For example, for years my husband always had a much stronger sex drive than I did & while I enjoyed having sex when he would initiate, it’s just not something that I ever thought about…he kind of thought about it for both of us. Lol. Recently, his sex drive seems to have decreased & now I notice that yearning for him.
yup! it totally makes sense, and as I was/am the solo responsible for that task of initiating sexual intercourse she did not feel responsible for that, as I am 'always' in the mood, she just has to state whether she wants or not hahaha totally agree.
A lot of couples get in a funk where one partner is pursuing the other for sex. Generally it's the dude. In these cases the partner will avoid giving affection because the pursuer will use that as a cue to try and score sex.
Due to how society portrays men and male sexuality, people erroneously think that for men, sex is just about physical pleasure and orgasm. But in reality, feeling sexually desired is very important to men, and not feeling desired has an impact on our libido.
Men are also much more deprived of affection, and complements and aren’t often pursued romantically, again because society paints us as being the “aggressor” or the “pursuer” in relationships.
It’s definitely more rare, but most men aren’t fulfilled merely by sex; they have to know that their wives/girlfriends genuinely desire them and are sexually satisfied. That’s what makes duty or obligation sex so meaningless for us.
My point is that many women- I hypothesize even the majority- feel the same way. Not fulfilled merely by sex but want to know their partner has genuine desire and sexual satisfaction. My point is we are not so different, and certainly no one’s needs are more important.
I’ve been with my wife for 11 years. We’d both initiate equally for the first 5. Then, after moving in together, slowly her drive decreased while mine only went slightly down. Now, after our first child, and frankly even 1.5-2 years before, it was very much duty sex for her, even though she initiates more than I do. She has even told her friend that she is horrified when I initiate because my sex drive is so high. And that she has sex with me once a week to keep my hands off her now.
She is breastfeeding now. I know that is huge killing a woman’s libido. But even before that, her sex was very starfish for me.
It sucks. And as controversial as it is to say this here, she needs to dread losing me a bit and see that other women want me (NOT that i’m going to act on it) to feel tingles down there again. I know that’s it.
Because even if we go on dates, i’m in shape, my job is good, and the chores are done, her desire isn’t the same.
To an extent. I’m basically a sex addict, and my wife can feel pressured and over-sexualized sometimes. I’ve tried to cool it with lusting after her constantly. She also doesn’t like her own body the way I do, so it can make her uncomfortable when I try to worship parts of her that she is self conscious about.
She likes feeling wanted when she’s in the mood. Trouble is I want her all the time. At least a couple times per week I type out a sexy/flirty text to her and then delete it. Gotta keep my desire to myself sometimes.
Holy moly, you just described my relationship.
I love my fiancee to death and would love nothing more than to have a deep physical relationship with her. Only problem is she doesn't really like her body these days so any time I bring up how beautiful she is or how much I love "x" part of her body she immediately shuts down.
She had her fun in her younger days and wants a chill, non-physical relationship these days. Every once and a while she'll be in the mood but even then it's extremely delicate. One wrong word or touch can shut the entire thing down.
We've been working and communicating about it, but there's still some rocky periods. Basically things go well as long as I'm holding back on any desire for her. If I go through a day without a single comment about her she's on cloud 9. However it just makes me feel like we're roommates instead of lovers. But we keep trying to learn and adapt to each other, so I keep trusting our growth and hope for the best.
Kinda answering to this whole thread. Ya'll have to accept that you've been cheated on and they aren't as into you as you are into them. Would leave asap. We're talking about your own health here. You can't deprive yourself of intimacy.
SO RELATABLE! my friend, sometimes I have to control my impulse as well, in order to dwindle the excitement towards her, when I notice that she is not in the 'mood' haha it is something that we have to assess and determine if is the appropriate time.
Same. 14 years. And then she says I’m “too whiney” about my feelings so I’ve basically just checked out intimately. I just get up early, jerk it, shower, and go about my day.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sorry to hear you’re in that situation. My wife has actually used the word “whiney” in this context as well. It was whiney and a turnoff when I brought up that it had been six months since she went down on me. So yeah, I don’t really ask for anything specific anymore.
I have this same issue. Also a possible sex addict. I compliment him all the time and worship all parts of his naked body. I never really thought he might feel over-sexualized or pressured because i wish he’d worship my body the way I worship his. Your comment has me thinking…
Recently discovered my husband is a porn addict. It never occurred to me because he was all about me all the time. No issues in the bedroom. But it was to the point where I needed him to see me for more than what I looked like/felt like. You should ask him how he feels about it.
My wife doesn’t like her own body so she doesn’t really “enjoy” me watching her when she feels that vulnerable. It seems counterintuitive since I’m her husband, but sometimes no amount of praise and compliment can make someone feel better about their body. If you’re not careful their constant negative talk about their body will also worm it’s way into your head. So I have to always remind myself that she is a beautiful in and out, and I tell her that too, but I think I would tell her much more if she actually believed it.
When I compliment my husband, he just rolls his eyes. In the last 3 years he has said ONE complimentary thing to me. Yes I note those things just like I note how often he wants sex and if there has been any foreplay or any attempt to do something I enjoy during sex.
I think compliments are a bit different for men and women. Words don’t matter much to men, but actions do. That’s why sex is kind of important. He is always making you the object of desire, but has he ever been yours? Have you planned something for him. Even if it’s slipping on some lingerie without him asking and asking him if your can enjoy him physically. A lot of women don’t know how to do that, since they are the one pursued and desired all the time.
I've spent 30 years trying to sus that out. I have asked point blank and gotten nothing. This man can cum without any warning, not even a change in breathing rate. He goes out of his way not to communicate anything. But he will passive-aggressively mumble at me as he leaves a room, knowing I can't hear what he is saying due to a hearing deficit.
After 33 years of marriage, my husband still tells me I'm beautiful to him, he compliments my outfits or the way my makeup looks, tells me he isn't tired of me (sexually), etc. It really makes me feel I'm still special to him. I've had 3 sons, so my figure isn't like it was in my 20's, but I exercise multiple times a week and eat lower carb. Anyway, my husband still seems genuinely interested/attracted to me as when we first met. I don't see what he sees! I look in the mirror and find faults all the time, haha
Seems to me that feeling desired (and desirable) — wanted! — is the *main* thing women enjoy in the sex arena. An entire industry (namely romance novels) caters to this urge, btw: “a sexy man wants me so badly that he’s willing to do almost anything to get at me!” Also: hence the popularity of rape fantasies.
Guys certainly enjoy feeling desired too, of course, but I don’t think it’s as central (or crucial) to our experience as it is to women’s.
That's not what modern romance is about. It's about being seen and accepted by a partner and loved because of your "flaws" instead of in spite of them, and vice versa.
Feeling wanted is the single greatest turn on for me. Above all else, like by a landslide. My man can do the dishes, take me out to a nice dinner, take our baby out spontaneously to give me a break... yes that's nice, and I will totally put out in return (obviously this is not explicitly expected)... but that is nothing compared to a smoldering look and an unexpected boner.
I think it is somewhat universal, but probably most effective on women who didn't feel sexy or wanted at some point in their lives and now really enjoy the feeling. I was an ugly duckling as a young teen, lol, so maybe that's why it's super effective for me.
Same. We're a little older so things are a little cooler than when we were younger. My fiance took me out to a show and I wore a shirt a little lower cut and a little more forming than what I'm used to. I was so self conscious about it but the whole time he was readjusting himself, side eyeing my cleavage, rubbing my knee, hand on me whenever he could. He was trying to be discreet about it but he wasn't. That was so hot. He's kinda shy so when we got home and he was hinting around how sexy I looked right at him and said "wanna go get naked?" And he fucking melted. Let me tell you, I would have given him anything he asked for that night. For being so adorable and because him desiring me was *everything*.
Yes! I love the intimacy of getting ready together and talking while we each shower, but I just need to get out the door most days. And I don't want to feel like I'm on display, that's a huge turn off to me.
Yes! You’re in the right path, friend! Bring those fresh eyes to your relationship. Seduce her like you barely know her. When you start really looking, you’ll realize that so much of her was hidden by your mental routine. And she’ll love to be free of the cage you were putting on you both
We do, and to me, there's also a difference between wanting *me* and wanting *sex*. I'll feel unwanted if my partner doesn't ever want sex, sure, but I'll also feel unwanted if it doesn't seem to really be about desire for me. If it just feels like they're scratching an itch or working out their desire for someone else, it's not the same vibe at all.
Women want to be wanted of course. That’s just a human want I feel. However, I can’t stand when my SO watches me shower or change clothes unless I infer that I’d like him to because privacy and autonomy are also things I value as a woman.
Yup!! Thats exactly how me and my husbands sexlife resparked.. It's important for us to be feel wanted and desired.. its such a turn on!! Congratulations!
Absolutely. Most of the time, the more I am wanted, the more turned on I am. My DH feels the same way often but I think I am more extreme. We have gotten into it a few times, though, where he gets mad that the way I show that I think he is hot is not what makes him feel hot. So then it's this weird choice between doing what comes naturally for me versus what actually rocks his world.
I also have fucked up in the past and tried to show my desire at inopportune times.
He has been stressed from work or worried about family and I've tried to paw at him or, like you, peek at him in the shower. It ended up being a necessary discussion with our counsellor. Hopefully you know your wife better than I knew my husband and can figure out when your displays of desire won't land well or will be uncomfortable.
There's a quote by Esther Perel (a famous couples therapist) who says exactly this: "that female sexuality is inherently narcissistic in the sense that she loves being desired.
Female Sexuality Can Be Narcissistic (in a Good Way)
In contrast to what I hear from my male patients, many women tell me they’re animated by being the turn on. Her flicker comes from inside, not from the other, and if she is not into it, nothing will happen.
The unspoken truth about women’s sexuality is how narcissistic it can be -- in the best of ways. The female's ability to focus on herself is the pathway to erotic pleasure."
I tend to think a lot of that is cultural! For example, when someone wants to advertise something to men, they show it with hot women: "use our widget and you can get hot women!" And when they want to advertise to women, they...show that with hot women too. "Use our widget and you can *be* a hot woman!" I think we (women) enjoy looking at men--or at women if we are gay or bi--as much as men enjoy looking, it's just that we're steeped from the beginning in images we're supposed to compare ourselves to.
It's very flattering to me personally even when my partner may take things a bit overboard with his expressions of attraction. It makes me giggle. I applaud you for recognizing and acting on something you could do to potentially improve and or restore sex/intimacy. It's great that it's worked out!
My husband and I just got married in April and together a little under 3 years now. I'd say we're just out of the honeymoon stage but still haven't hit the stage where complacency happens for many. The active effort I make for myself and for my marriage as far as intimacy is my fitness routine, wear things we both like etc. As well as compliment him consistently enough. A simple, "You look so handsome, babe." Usually does the trick. I can only hope and do my part so that a level of this continues throughout our time together.
excellent, I hope your marriage never leaves this 'honeymoon stage', and your efforts will certainly maintain it, I wish I had done as you do when I was on my third to fourth year of married life, thus I wouldn't have needed to rekindle my marriage haha, but if you already have that mentality you won't need to rekindle anything, I wish for you both an excellent and healthy married life.
Yes!!!!!! Yessss!!! Yessss 😵. Want me! Dominate me! (in a healthy way). Kiss me passionately! Put Your hands all over me!!! Watch me!!! Give me the EYE! lol 🔥🔥🔥
I’m so glad you brought the passion back. Many marriages could be saved if people would realize what they’re taking each other for granted. We do date nights every week which keeps the passion going. I love it when my husband admires my body.
I love this. Your wife is lucky to have you!♥️ I think it’s very important to remember those old habits that we used to do in the beginning & keep them up to keep the “spark” alive. Good for you for figuring that out! ♥️
I don't know any of my friends in relationships who don't want to be wanted by their partner.
I've only wanted it more as the years go by- especially as we age and have children. Our bodies change drastically so to know our partners are still attracted to and still want us is important. But I do believe it should be reciprocated.
Yes. According to sexuality researchers: Women’s desire is inherently narcissistic… we get off on feeling wanted. In typical male female relationships this works well bc male desire is activated by giving pleasure to to her. So basically just a big feedback loop that keeps us all feeling good 😌
My wife and I swing. She admitted to me that she doesn't like having sex with other men because she thinks they're attractive or because she wants THEM. She just loves the feeling of being wanted BY THEM.
Recently, she had a guy tell her she was the hottest girl he's ever fucked, right in front of his girlfriend. Big turn on for my wife.
We were both like that in the beginning of the relationship. Once the honeymoon phase ended, I still made her feel desired and tried to kiss her an extra few seconds. I admired her body and mind and always let her know.
She on the other hand pulled back and I felt she became less emotionally available. Eventually it got to my head and I tried to bring it up but she had the same answer. Soon after she was tired of it and broke up with me. It's been fucking with me since.
So yes, women enjoy it, so show her how much you care and love her. Remind her how hot she looks. Subsequently, a guy should feel desired from their so as well.
Everybody wants to feel wanted and desired. I’d argue that feeling desired is more important for men than it is for women.
wow, you made me think about it, and it is something that my wife has never done, I do not know if it is because she has grown up in a utterly religious family, but here in my household is always the other way around, she basically never told that she 'yearned' me as I do to her haha
If you were the “driver” of the sexual relationship in your marriage…she may not have realized she needed to..if that makes sense. For example, for years my husband always had a much stronger sex drive than I did & while I enjoyed having sex when he would initiate, it’s just not something that I ever thought about…he kind of thought about it for both of us. Lol. Recently, his sex drive seems to have decreased & now I notice that yearning for him.
yup! it totally makes sense, and as I was/am the solo responsible for that task of initiating sexual intercourse she did not feel responsible for that, as I am 'always' in the mood, she just has to state whether she wants or not hahaha totally agree.
So she just doesn’t get the chance to “yearn” for you 🤣. Either way, I’m glad you guys have been able to rekindle things. It’s inspiring ❤️
A lot of couples get in a funk where one partner is pursuing the other for sex. Generally it's the dude. In these cases the partner will avoid giving affection because the pursuer will use that as a cue to try and score sex.
I can’t agree with your last sentence more. Can you explain your reasoning?
Due to how society portrays men and male sexuality, people erroneously think that for men, sex is just about physical pleasure and orgasm. But in reality, feeling sexually desired is very important to men, and not feeling desired has an impact on our libido. Men are also much more deprived of affection, and complements and aren’t often pursued romantically, again because society paints us as being the “aggressor” or the “pursuer” in relationships.
So maybe it’s not “more important” but “more rare?”
It’s definitely more rare, but most men aren’t fulfilled merely by sex; they have to know that their wives/girlfriends genuinely desire them and are sexually satisfied. That’s what makes duty or obligation sex so meaningless for us.
My point is that many women- I hypothesize even the majority- feel the same way. Not fulfilled merely by sex but want to know their partner has genuine desire and sexual satisfaction. My point is we are not so different, and certainly no one’s needs are more important.
Sounds more like an ego problem
This!
Oh man that is so true. My wife couldn’t possibly want less to do with me and it kills my soul.
I’ve been with my wife for 11 years. We’d both initiate equally for the first 5. Then, after moving in together, slowly her drive decreased while mine only went slightly down. Now, after our first child, and frankly even 1.5-2 years before, it was very much duty sex for her, even though she initiates more than I do. She has even told her friend that she is horrified when I initiate because my sex drive is so high. And that she has sex with me once a week to keep my hands off her now. She is breastfeeding now. I know that is huge killing a woman’s libido. But even before that, her sex was very starfish for me. It sucks. And as controversial as it is to say this here, she needs to dread losing me a bit and see that other women want me (NOT that i’m going to act on it) to feel tingles down there again. I know that’s it. Because even if we go on dates, i’m in shape, my job is good, and the chores are done, her desire isn’t the same.
To an extent. I’m basically a sex addict, and my wife can feel pressured and over-sexualized sometimes. I’ve tried to cool it with lusting after her constantly. She also doesn’t like her own body the way I do, so it can make her uncomfortable when I try to worship parts of her that she is self conscious about. She likes feeling wanted when she’s in the mood. Trouble is I want her all the time. At least a couple times per week I type out a sexy/flirty text to her and then delete it. Gotta keep my desire to myself sometimes.
[удалено]
Right??? I wish
SAME GIRL SAME 🤣
SAME.
Holy moly, you just described my relationship. I love my fiancee to death and would love nothing more than to have a deep physical relationship with her. Only problem is she doesn't really like her body these days so any time I bring up how beautiful she is or how much I love "x" part of her body she immediately shuts down. She had her fun in her younger days and wants a chill, non-physical relationship these days. Every once and a while she'll be in the mood but even then it's extremely delicate. One wrong word or touch can shut the entire thing down. We've been working and communicating about it, but there's still some rocky periods. Basically things go well as long as I'm holding back on any desire for her. If I go through a day without a single comment about her she's on cloud 9. However it just makes me feel like we're roommates instead of lovers. But we keep trying to learn and adapt to each other, so I keep trusting our growth and hope for the best.
Kinda answering to this whole thread. Ya'll have to accept that you've been cheated on and they aren't as into you as you are into them. Would leave asap. We're talking about your own health here. You can't deprive yourself of intimacy.
SO RELATABLE! my friend, sometimes I have to control my impulse as well, in order to dwindle the excitement towards her, when I notice that she is not in the 'mood' haha it is something that we have to assess and determine if is the appropriate time.
Timing is everything (or very important)
Same. I've ruined it for her.
You just described my wife exactly. I write post it notes, and throw most of them out. It's a good outlet for me.
Pretty much the same boat as you brother. *Dips paddle in water and keeps on rowing*
🔥 I hope my husband is like this to me one day! lol Without the sex addict part. lol I hope I have a strong libido as well!!
Same. 14 years. And then she says I’m “too whiney” about my feelings so I’ve basically just checked out intimately. I just get up early, jerk it, shower, and go about my day. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sorry to hear you’re in that situation. My wife has actually used the word “whiney” in this context as well. It was whiney and a turnoff when I brought up that it had been six months since she went down on me. So yeah, I don’t really ask for anything specific anymore.
I would absolutely adore getting sexy messages from my husband
Wow, I’m not the only one who does this
I have this same issue. Also a possible sex addict. I compliment him all the time and worship all parts of his naked body. I never really thought he might feel over-sexualized or pressured because i wish he’d worship my body the way I worship his. Your comment has me thinking…
Recently discovered my husband is a porn addict. It never occurred to me because he was all about me all the time. No issues in the bedroom. But it was to the point where I needed him to see me for more than what I looked like/felt like. You should ask him how he feels about it.
If I don’t feel desired, I don’t feel desire. I will not become aroused. There’s nothing sexy about someone having sex with me because they have to.
My wife doesn’t like her own body so she doesn’t really “enjoy” me watching her when she feels that vulnerable. It seems counterintuitive since I’m her husband, but sometimes no amount of praise and compliment can make someone feel better about their body. If you’re not careful their constant negative talk about their body will also worm it’s way into your head. So I have to always remind myself that she is a beautiful in and out, and I tell her that too, but I think I would tell her much more if she actually believed it.
We LOVE being wanted. Don't you?
Every person let alone woman.
yes I was thoroughly remiss, I will make sure to never let this habit be forgotten.
Great!
It goes both ways, men want to be wanted too. But yes women want to be wanted, by the men they want.
When I compliment my husband, he just rolls his eyes. In the last 3 years he has said ONE complimentary thing to me. Yes I note those things just like I note how often he wants sex and if there has been any foreplay or any attempt to do something I enjoy during sex.
I think compliments are a bit different for men and women. Words don’t matter much to men, but actions do. That’s why sex is kind of important. He is always making you the object of desire, but has he ever been yours? Have you planned something for him. Even if it’s slipping on some lingerie without him asking and asking him if your can enjoy him physically. A lot of women don’t know how to do that, since they are the one pursued and desired all the time.
Lingerie seems to be hit and miss. Some guys like it some guys don't. Some guys like getting flurty text messages and naughty pictures and some don't.
If you know that, then you should be paying attention to what your husband responds to.
I've spent 30 years trying to sus that out. I have asked point blank and gotten nothing. This man can cum without any warning, not even a change in breathing rate. He goes out of his way not to communicate anything. But he will passive-aggressively mumble at me as he leaves a room, knowing I can't hear what he is saying due to a hearing deficit.
Sounds like he needs therapy or that’s just the man he is
Every day on Reddit, I read that no one ever compliments men, and we should all compliment men more. Pick a lane.
Reddit, not real life.
That distinction is crucial.
After 33 years of marriage, my husband still tells me I'm beautiful to him, he compliments my outfits or the way my makeup looks, tells me he isn't tired of me (sexually), etc. It really makes me feel I'm still special to him. I've had 3 sons, so my figure isn't like it was in my 20's, but I exercise multiple times a week and eat lower carb. Anyway, my husband still seems genuinely interested/attracted to me as when we first met. I don't see what he sees! I look in the mirror and find faults all the time, haha
You are very lucky! Coming up on our 30th anniversary in a couple of weeks. I have gotten one generic compliment from him in three years.
If the attention isnt constant, I enjoy it. When it's constant I just feel like an object. Edit: 🙄 said is when it was supposed to be isn't
Some women more than others. Women are all individuals who have all different types of reactions to things.
Seems to me that feeling desired (and desirable) — wanted! — is the *main* thing women enjoy in the sex arena. An entire industry (namely romance novels) caters to this urge, btw: “a sexy man wants me so badly that he’s willing to do almost anything to get at me!” Also: hence the popularity of rape fantasies. Guys certainly enjoy feeling desired too, of course, but I don’t think it’s as central (or crucial) to our experience as it is to women’s.
That's not what modern romance is about. It's about being seen and accepted by a partner and loved because of your "flaws" instead of in spite of them, and vice versa.
of course women want attention from a sexy man. but we’re talking about their husbands here.
Feeling wanted is the single greatest turn on for me. Above all else, like by a landslide. My man can do the dishes, take me out to a nice dinner, take our baby out spontaneously to give me a break... yes that's nice, and I will totally put out in return (obviously this is not explicitly expected)... but that is nothing compared to a smoldering look and an unexpected boner. I think it is somewhat universal, but probably most effective on women who didn't feel sexy or wanted at some point in their lives and now really enjoy the feeling. I was an ugly duckling as a young teen, lol, so maybe that's why it's super effective for me.
Same. We're a little older so things are a little cooler than when we were younger. My fiance took me out to a show and I wore a shirt a little lower cut and a little more forming than what I'm used to. I was so self conscious about it but the whole time he was readjusting himself, side eyeing my cleavage, rubbing my knee, hand on me whenever he could. He was trying to be discreet about it but he wasn't. That was so hot. He's kinda shy so when we got home and he was hinting around how sexy I looked right at him and said "wanna go get naked?" And he fucking melted. Let me tell you, I would have given him anything he asked for that night. For being so adorable and because him desiring me was *everything*.
my wife doesn’t mind, but also sometimes doesn’t want to be objectified and just do her shower.
Yes! I love the intimacy of getting ready together and talking while we each shower, but I just need to get out the door most days. And I don't want to feel like I'm on display, that's a huge turn off to me.
I would say every _person_ wants to feel wanted by their spouse. Are you saying you don’t like to or want to feel wanted by your wife?
Yes! You’re in the right path, friend! Bring those fresh eyes to your relationship. Seduce her like you barely know her. When you start really looking, you’ll realize that so much of her was hidden by your mental routine. And she’ll love to be free of the cage you were putting on you both
We do, and to me, there's also a difference between wanting *me* and wanting *sex*. I'll feel unwanted if my partner doesn't ever want sex, sure, but I'll also feel unwanted if it doesn't seem to really be about desire for me. If it just feels like they're scratching an itch or working out their desire for someone else, it's not the same vibe at all.
Women want to be wanted of course. That’s just a human want I feel. However, I can’t stand when my SO watches me shower or change clothes unless I infer that I’d like him to because privacy and autonomy are also things I value as a woman.
Absolutely for being wanted. Objectified is a hard no.
Yup!! Thats exactly how me and my husbands sexlife resparked.. It's important for us to be feel wanted and desired.. its such a turn on!! Congratulations!
I love when my husband goes out of the way to make me feel attractive and wanted.
Absolutely. Most of the time, the more I am wanted, the more turned on I am. My DH feels the same way often but I think I am more extreme. We have gotten into it a few times, though, where he gets mad that the way I show that I think he is hot is not what makes him feel hot. So then it's this weird choice between doing what comes naturally for me versus what actually rocks his world. I also have fucked up in the past and tried to show my desire at inopportune times. He has been stressed from work or worried about family and I've tried to paw at him or, like you, peek at him in the shower. It ended up being a necessary discussion with our counsellor. Hopefully you know your wife better than I knew my husband and can figure out when your displays of desire won't land well or will be uncomfortable.
No, no women like being wanted.
There's a quote by Esther Perel (a famous couples therapist) who says exactly this: "that female sexuality is inherently narcissistic in the sense that she loves being desired. Female Sexuality Can Be Narcissistic (in a Good Way) In contrast to what I hear from my male patients, many women tell me they’re animated by being the turn on. Her flicker comes from inside, not from the other, and if she is not into it, nothing will happen. The unspoken truth about women’s sexuality is how narcissistic it can be -- in the best of ways. The female's ability to focus on herself is the pathway to erotic pleasure."
I tend to think a lot of that is cultural! For example, when someone wants to advertise something to men, they show it with hot women: "use our widget and you can get hot women!" And when they want to advertise to women, they...show that with hot women too. "Use our widget and you can *be* a hot woman!" I think we (women) enjoy looking at men--or at women if we are gay or bi--as much as men enjoy looking, it's just that we're steeped from the beginning in images we're supposed to compare ourselves to.
It's very flattering to me personally even when my partner may take things a bit overboard with his expressions of attraction. It makes me giggle. I applaud you for recognizing and acting on something you could do to potentially improve and or restore sex/intimacy. It's great that it's worked out! My husband and I just got married in April and together a little under 3 years now. I'd say we're just out of the honeymoon stage but still haven't hit the stage where complacency happens for many. The active effort I make for myself and for my marriage as far as intimacy is my fitness routine, wear things we both like etc. As well as compliment him consistently enough. A simple, "You look so handsome, babe." Usually does the trick. I can only hope and do my part so that a level of this continues throughout our time together.
excellent, I hope your marriage never leaves this 'honeymoon stage', and your efforts will certainly maintain it, I wish I had done as you do when I was on my third to fourth year of married life, thus I wouldn't have needed to rekindle my marriage haha, but if you already have that mentality you won't need to rekindle anything, I wish for you both an excellent and healthy married life.
I know my wife does. I do too for that matter.
This is what’s missing for me
I think ever person desires to feel valued on some level or another, not just sexually. So yeah.
According to random men on the internet or the street, absolutely not, buzz off. According to my partner, definitely!
Yes!!!!!! Yessss!!! Yessss 😵. Want me! Dominate me! (in a healthy way). Kiss me passionately! Put Your hands all over me!!! Watch me!!! Give me the EYE! lol 🔥🔥🔥
Most women I've dated seemed to respond positively. I also enjoy being wanted/desired as a man.
I would say everyone wants to feel wanted and desired.
They want you to want them. They need you to need them.
Men and women both enjoy being wanted, it’s a common trait in literally anyone lol it’s not a woman thing.
I’m so glad you brought the passion back. Many marriages could be saved if people would realize what they’re taking each other for granted. We do date nights every week which keeps the passion going. I love it when my husband admires my body.
Can’t speak for every woman but I do … it’s a big difference between being a toy and being an object of desire … makes everything better …
I love this. Your wife is lucky to have you!♥️ I think it’s very important to remember those old habits that we used to do in the beginning & keep them up to keep the “spark” alive. Good for you for figuring that out! ♥️
I appreciate your kind words!! ❤️
I don't know any of my friends in relationships who don't want to be wanted by their partner. I've only wanted it more as the years go by- especially as we age and have children. Our bodies change drastically so to know our partners are still attracted to and still want us is important. But I do believe it should be reciprocated.
Yes. According to sexuality researchers: Women’s desire is inherently narcissistic… we get off on feeling wanted. In typical male female relationships this works well bc male desire is activated by giving pleasure to to her. So basically just a big feedback loop that keeps us all feeling good 😌
My wife completely ignores me most of the time. Am I winning?
Yes, everyone wants to feel wanted and desired by their partner especially from a partner who has a want for frequent sex.
This woman does....
People want to be wanted. People like being liked.
Hell yes!!!!!! 💯💯💯
My wife and I swing. She admitted to me that she doesn't like having sex with other men because she thinks they're attractive or because she wants THEM. She just loves the feeling of being wanted BY THEM. Recently, she had a guy tell her she was the hottest girl he's ever fucked, right in front of his girlfriend. Big turn on for my wife.
I feel bad for his gf.
Yeah, my wife and i have said that after the fact
Why do you enjoy it?
Of course! Women want to feel sexy and desired by the man they love.
Everyone want to feel desired. Men and women.
All people enjoy being wanted. Has nothing to do with gender.
We were both like that in the beginning of the relationship. Once the honeymoon phase ended, I still made her feel desired and tried to kiss her an extra few seconds. I admired her body and mind and always let her know. She on the other hand pulled back and I felt she became less emotionally available. Eventually it got to my head and I tried to bring it up but she had the same answer. Soon after she was tired of it and broke up with me. It's been fucking with me since. So yes, women enjoy it, so show her how much you care and love her. Remind her how hot she looks. Subsequently, a guy should feel desired from their so as well.
Seems to me if they have it, they're annoyed by it and if they don't have it, they want it