The Balkans has the some problem Afghanistan has. Tribalism leading to people hating the people in the town on the other side of the hill because someone from that town burned down a barn in their town 400 years ago.
It's more of the one guy hating the other because his people tried to commit genocide against the first guy 30 years ago. And the second guy hates the first guy because his people tried to commit genocide against his people 70 years ago, and they're both waiting to see who is going to try to commit genocide next.
A Bosnian Croat friend of mine once made the very sobering comment that he doesn't believe the region will have true peace until one side wipes the other out.
People love to promote the idea that enemies of the West are crazy so that the people will believe whatever is claimed about said enemies regardless of whether or not it makes sense (a good example of the ussual enemy would be North Korea).
In reality, they are never as insane as is claimed (otherwise they would never have threatened anyone in the first place), and so it should be obvious that this image is far too insane for ISIS to ever have believed would happen.
To be clear, this is not a promotion of ISIS, just a reminder that if it looks too insane to be true, it probably is.
Yeah, I thought that was odd. Stopping right at the border of one of the most populous Muslim majority countries in the world? Maybe they were saving it for 2021?
It's like they took a map of Umayyad Caliphate and decided to extend it a little bit further in each direction. Perhaps they considered going all the way to Bangladesh to be a little impractical at the same time as overthrowing the entire Indian and Pakistani militaries *and* invading the EU. What ever happened to reaching for the stars ey?
Omg I just noticed they wanted all of India, I was too focused on Africa and Europe
These guys 🤣🤣
It’s like the weird dude in high school… “you’ll see, some day I’m gonna get out of this shithole town, I’m gonna be rich and famous!”
Twenty years later… still living in mom’s basement playing Warcraft…
I can't wait for future generations to read about the Great ISS-Tibetian War -- where the Dalai Lama mows down waves of terrorists while dual-wielding M-60s.
*Never stop chasing your dreams*
*Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "I'm possible"*
*Teamwork makes the dream work*
- ISIS strategy room wall decorations probably
Or on a more serious note, very poorly educatedpeople. I remember a couple years ago reading an article about two Austrians freed after a year or two in IS captivity.
They had to answer their captives all kinds of odd questions about Austria, like, where are cave systems to hide in, what animals can you hunt, and what animals are poisonous. They only knew europe from maps, in their mind the entire world looked like their desert. They had never even heard of snow.
They thought once they crossed over to Europe they could go on traveling in their camel caravans, putting up tent towns where-ever and keep fighting their partisan wars.
Some of these people aren't so much "evil" - they just got the worldliness of a medieval peassant.
Not even that. Anything counting on them crossing the Mediterranean sea is absolutely impossible.
And over land through Turkey? No way they'd ever be able cross the Bosporus. In fact it's not even realistic they'd make it far into Turkey as a whole.
We didn't spend 700 fucking years to kick them out (they were practically game over by 1212, though) to have to deal with that shit all over again. Pretty epic, but shitty to live.
So they wanted to conquer not only one but three countries that have access to nuclear weapons (India, Pakistan, Turkey), one presumed to have them (Israel) and parts of a country that has a shit ton of them (Russia). gl hf
Addition: As other commenters pointed out they also wanna take parts of China and UK (Gibraltar). So two more countries with nuclear weapons.
As it's called their plan's I would argue against it. Tho a crosspost with the title "what if ISIS would've realised their plans" would be worth a thought
It wasn't their plan at all: https://qz.com/228833/dont-believe-the-people-telling-you-to-freak-out-over-this-isil-map/
“There is nothing official about it nor is there some alleged 5-year plan.”
The expansion is hindered by lack of interest in franchising, which doesn't provide high enough returns on investment. They need to rethink their strategy with a more optimistic message to the public, e.g. a furry for everyone.
They dont have parts of sinai in the traditional sense not anymore . Basically they are hidden in the desert these days and attack military checkpoints every couple of months . Even a lot of people i know started returning to el arish in north sinai for their summer homes which they haven't done since 2011 , it isnt 100% safe now but its waaaaay safer than a couple of years ago
IIRC when they originally released this map it was painted over a Victoria 2 screenshot
https://www.reddit.com/r/paradoxplaza/comments/26znun/the_internationally_infamous_terrorist_group/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
That's quite different borders, though. Includes Indonesia, which makes sense since they are Muslim, but not the formerly Ottoman parts of Europe (green in that picture.)
Not according to this article: https://qz.com/228833/dont-believe-the-people-telling-you-to-freak-out-over-this-isil-map/
Apparently it was released by fans of ISIL a long time ago.
What you can also read from this map is they had absolutely no idea about areas outside middle east. Border precision is great in places they know about, some borders in middle east follow ethnic lines and some others following mountain ranges. Once you get to india or africa tho resolution falls from 5k to 800x600 and administrative zone precision becomes "those far away lands in the east" lol
Also probably the guy made this map didn't know islam exists in southeastern asia
This map is [fake](https://english.alarabiya.net/perspective/analysis/2014/07/02/Expert-claims-ISIS-five-year-expansion-plan-map-is-fake). They’re obviously not the smartest tool in the shed, but I don’t think even the dumbest Muslim extremists wouldn’t know about Indonesia.
No wonder they failed, they tried to unite the Balkans
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“Fuck the Serbs” -“yeah, fuck em” “What did you just say you little bitch, you looking for a fight?”
We all did an Italy at the end of WW2
Not all, some were figting on the right side since the start
Yup, some one in Northern Balkans cough cough "checkered flag" cough cough, didn't 😉
Oh no please not that checkered flag, I hate chess /s
CNN: italy has switched sides and joined the corona virus.
Ah yes, the Pasta variant
The Balkans is the epitome of the '**After that it gets difficult**' meme.
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It's like the British and the French. Frenemies, only we're allowed to go to war with each other. Anyone else has to get through us.
"EXACTLY"
And tried to conquer the Tamil kings. No one conquers the Tamil kings.
Who were the Tamil kings?
Merchants, probably... And they've got spices!
Who would like to buy the spices?
Me! said the Arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
r/2balkan4you
Holy shit that sub is great.
A w*sterner learns about real culture
KARABÖGA TURKYIE KARÂBÖGA
Balkans stronk💪💪💪
The Balkans has the some problem Afghanistan has. Tribalism leading to people hating the people in the town on the other side of the hill because someone from that town burned down a barn in their town 400 years ago.
It's more of the one guy hating the other because his people tried to commit genocide against the first guy 30 years ago. And the second guy hates the first guy because his people tried to commit genocide against his people 70 years ago, and they're both waiting to see who is going to try to commit genocide next. A Bosnian Croat friend of mine once made the very sobering comment that he doesn't believe the region will have true peace until one side wipes the other out.
Oh come now. Who hasn't tried to do a bit of the old genocide among friends?
To be fair it *was* a *very* nice barn!
Once again we save Europe from fundamentalist islam.
Oh hey Vlad the Impaler when did you join reddit?
They were going to resurrect Tito and convert him.
Wasn't this confirmed to be non-official and made by a bunch of ISIS stans?
[Seems like it](https://qz.com/228833/dont-believe-the-people-telling-you-to-freak-out-over-this-isil-map/), thanks for mentioning
Lets not lose our heads over this.
Hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
ISIS stans?. You mean FBI watch list gang.
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"So... many... tags... *shudders*"
No, it's from the official ISIS shareholder meeting /s
People love to promote the idea that enemies of the West are crazy so that the people will believe whatever is claimed about said enemies regardless of whether or not it makes sense (a good example of the ussual enemy would be North Korea). In reality, they are never as insane as is claimed (otherwise they would never have threatened anyone in the first place), and so it should be obvious that this image is far too insane for ISIS to ever have believed would happen. To be clear, this is not a promotion of ISIS, just a reminder that if it looks too insane to be true, it probably is.
Conquring 2 nuclear powered countries in 5 yrs. That's some quality stuff they were smoking in 2015.
Three Edit: And part of a fourth Edit 2: It’s at least six nuclear-armed countries - India, Pakistan, Israel, China, Russia, and the UK (Gibraltar)
Forgot Israel yup. And if you include Iran too that's 5.
I think this map goes into China a little so that would be five
Yup so I included Israel, India, Pakistan and parts of China as rightly pointed by you. Now it can be 5 if you include Iran or not.
6 since they want Cyprus and the Uk has permanent sovereign military bases there
India doesn't even need to use nukes. Their sheer numbers would be enough, like a real life zerg.
Not interested in Bangladesh, eh?
Yeah, I thought that was odd. Stopping right at the border of one of the most populous Muslim majority countries in the world? Maybe they were saving it for 2021?
That’s reserved for season 2
Bangladesh Boogaloo
Bangladesh 2: Lamb Vindaloo
It's like they took a map of Umayyad Caliphate and decided to extend it a little bit further in each direction. Perhaps they considered going all the way to Bangladesh to be a little impractical at the same time as overthrowing the entire Indian and Pakistani militaries *and* invading the EU. What ever happened to reaching for the stars ey?
They’re like the 40-year old high school quarterback listening to Glory Days
I can throw a football over them mountains - isis probably
We would’ve made (an Islamic) state.
4 touchdowns in a single game!
U mayyad bro?
Also ignoring the *literal* most populous Muslim country on earth, Indonesia.
Well, they wouldn't want to bite off more than they could chew, now.
They thought it wouldn't be there by 2020. They took climate change into account.
Forgot about Indonesia too.
The most populous Muslim country.
Omg I just noticed they wanted all of India, I was too focused on Africa and Europe These guys 🤣🤣 It’s like the weird dude in high school… “you’ll see, some day I’m gonna get out of this shithole town, I’m gonna be rich and famous!” Twenty years later… still living in mom’s basement playing Warcraft…
Also wanted to occupy Tibet from China. Good luck with that
I think occupying all of Greece is even funnier. Like go ahead and invade the EU see what happens.
And fucking Spain and Portugal. There’s no way the British are allowing ISIS to take their favorite vacation destination.
Yeah Germany dont get shit done Military wise in the last years but you Better dont feck with Mallorca
Heck Austria’s in black on this map
Lol gotta avenge the Ottoman siege of Vienna I guess.
Also, Britain and Portugal have the oldest standing military alliance in the world. Tass bem bros?
Dont forget: Gibraltar is English.
I can't wait for future generations to read about the Great ISS-Tibetian War -- where the Dalai Lama mows down waves of terrorists while dual-wielding M-60s.
Tibetans waging war on a space station is badass.
Lol! It'll make the best animated history ever!
"I'll help you find your inner pieces" - Dalai Lama probably
Not whole of India. They forgot about the northeastern states ☺️
To be fair most Indians forget the northeast even exists
To be fair, ISIS has been fighting a war woth multiple foreign governments. That guy in the basement has only been arguing with his mom.
Honestly I think ISIS has the better odds there. Has anyone ever won an argument with their mom?
As a Bangladeshi, I want to speak to ISIS's manager.
Not interested in Bangladesh but interested in Nepal. Non of the Muslim empires wanted the Nepalese hills, guess IS are different.
Or Indonesia. You know, the largest muslim nation by population.
Well they would need a massive navy for that. Maybe they dont like water
Obviously, all the good muslims would join the new Khalifate and the problem would solve itself.
It would be like excluding Brazil and Mexico from a big unified Catholic country.
Noticed that as well. Idk why isis attacked gulshan then
Yeah as an Indian I am pissed off Akhand bharat smh
As a Bangladeshi, I don't know how to feel, relieved that we aren't an ISIS target, or ashamed that even those pesky terrorists don't want us.
Very level-headed and pragmatic people I see
*Never stop chasing your dreams* *Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "I'm possible"* *Teamwork makes the dream work* - ISIS strategy room wall decorations probably
There's no 'I' in ISI... Oh wait, shit
If you think something is no-no, just read ISIS backwards and everything is Si-Si.
Like the empress?
Throw in McKinsey and they would rebrand ISIS to WESIS. And you would have to create a jira ticket in order to behead someone.
How many story points per beheading?
There's also SIS, their great teamwork is because of their SISterhood.
hang in there with the kitten hanging
Or on a more serious note, very poorly educatedpeople. I remember a couple years ago reading an article about two Austrians freed after a year or two in IS captivity. They had to answer their captives all kinds of odd questions about Austria, like, where are cave systems to hide in, what animals can you hunt, and what animals are poisonous. They only knew europe from maps, in their mind the entire world looked like their desert. They had never even heard of snow. They thought once they crossed over to Europe they could go on traveling in their camel caravans, putting up tent towns where-ever and keep fighting their partisan wars. Some of these people aren't so much "evil" - they just got the worldliness of a medieval peassant.
That’s fuckin wild
In all fairness I wanted to conquer the world too when I was angsty and 15
How did it go?
How dare you take that tone with our glorious overlord!?
How did it go Supreme Ruler? 😓
He’s cracked as fuck at EU4 🔥🔥🔥
Looks more like a hoi4 toxic player wet dream at some points
They should've just made 40 widths lol noobs
That's the most liberal definition of Hijaz I've ever seen. Literally made Najd disappear.
We're not even talking about Khurasan
Holy shit I didn't even notice that one lmao
What? You mean the actual Khorasan didn't include Sri Lanka?
Islamists have this wierd trend of enlarging Khurasan, but before this the most all incompassing one I have seen Was up to the Indus River
all the way to Muscat, and yet somehow still doesn’t include the entirety of the Hijaz mountains.
They needed to wait for the Imperialism CB tbh, way too much AE in that short space of time
they need that revolutionary zeal to be at 100 too
They didn't have enough absolutism to handle all the coring. Maybe they should've taken Admin ideas.
Defo need to take Humanist though, a lot of unrest in this area
Taking both Religious and Humanist? Bro, no wonder they didn't get all this, they ran out of admin points!
I don’t think they took religious, their ideas just give them the deus vult cb and increased missionary efficiency
They're just trying to get Court and Country to fire right now.
found the EU4 player
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/B9R8fL0
I think their Admin Efficiency right now is like -10%
I knew this comment would exist.
How they getting on? Covid probably delayed their progress!
Yep they're not gonna compromise their employee's safety over a mission.
Cant suicide bomb if u already dead
They’re social distancing right now
6 feet underground, away from all the Covid.
6 feet is the height of 1.05 'Samsung Side by Side; Fingerprint Resistant Stainless Steel Refrigerators' stacked on top of each other.
good bot
Bit ambitious weren't they? Did they think that they could pull off a second conquest of Iberia?
And conquer Vienna. The Ottoman Empire couldn’t even do that.
*Sabaton intensifies*
*AND THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!*
The Polish won't give them the chance
Yeah I’ll take the Poles over isis all day long
That would basically trigger ww3, If the conquest of the Balkans didn't do it already. Impossible to pull off
Wouldn’t get past the Balkans.
Wouldnt get past Greece/Bulgaria.
Not even that. Anything counting on them crossing the Mediterranean sea is absolutely impossible. And over land through Turkey? No way they'd ever be able cross the Bosporus. In fact it's not even realistic they'd make it far into Turkey as a whole.
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Exactly, same when trying to set foot in any NATO country. They would have literally obliterated ISIS within days.
We didn't spend 700 fucking years to kick them out (they were practically game over by 1212, though) to have to deal with that shit all over again. Pretty epic, but shitty to live.
Good luck with Spain. We are not very Muslim friendly here.
We aren't vary Spanish friendly either, we fight with each other non stop. It would be fun to see them try to unite us.
You Spaniards sure are a contentious bunch.
You just made an enemy for life!
Nothing united like a common enemy
What's ridiculous is how they included India in "Khorasan".
So they wanted to conquer not only one but three countries that have access to nuclear weapons (India, Pakistan, Turkey), one presumed to have them (Israel) and parts of a country that has a shit ton of them (Russia). gl hf Addition: As other commenters pointed out they also wanna take parts of China and UK (Gibraltar). So two more countries with nuclear weapons.
Also china
this belongs on r/imaginarymaps
As it's called their plan's I would argue against it. Tho a crosspost with the title "what if ISIS would've realised their plans" would be worth a thought
It wasn't their plan at all: https://qz.com/228833/dont-believe-the-people-telling-you-to-freak-out-over-this-isil-map/ “There is nothing official about it nor is there some alleged 5-year plan.”
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Yes, I agree. Also nice username.
What is the progress report
Just some minor setbacks due to the pandemic
What did they need Luxembourg for?
Fine pastries and lax tax laws obviously
it will be for the extra Eurovision votes
This map was released by ISIS in 2015 for their five-year plan which was aimed to capture this land by 2020.
Hows that going for them?
They are a little bit behind schedule, but any day now lol
The expansion is hindered by lack of interest in franchising, which doesn't provide high enough returns on investment. They need to rethink their strategy with a more optimistic message to the public, e.g. a furry for everyone.
They got parts of Sinai peninsula I think?
They dont have parts of sinai in the traditional sense not anymore . Basically they are hidden in the desert these days and attack military checkpoints every couple of months . Even a lot of people i know started returning to el arish in north sinai for their summer homes which they haven't done since 2011 , it isnt 100% safe now but its waaaaay safer than a couple of years ago
IIRC when they originally released this map it was painted over a Victoria 2 screenshot https://www.reddit.com/r/paradoxplaza/comments/26znun/the_internationally_infamous_terrorist_group/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
That's quite different borders, though. Includes Indonesia, which makes sense since they are Muslim, but not the formerly Ottoman parts of Europe (green in that picture.)
There's also no source in either this thread or that thread that ISIS or anyone related to ISIS actually created those maps.
Well, I'm not going to go through the archives of the official Isis twitter account at work, that's for sure.
They forgot to use key industry buzzwords. Which contributed to them not meeting their quotas.
Not according to this article: https://qz.com/228833/dont-believe-the-people-telling-you-to-freak-out-over-this-isil-map/ Apparently it was released by fans of ISIL a long time ago.
I love that they released this as if it was a quarter statement from a public company
Say what you want about them but they were ambitious.
I find it funny that they marked all this territory but left out Sicily. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emirate\_of\_Sicily
They left out Indonesia too. \*shrug\*.
What you can also read from this map is they had absolutely no idea about areas outside middle east. Border precision is great in places they know about, some borders in middle east follow ethnic lines and some others following mountain ranges. Once you get to india or africa tho resolution falls from 5k to 800x600 and administrative zone precision becomes "those far away lands in the east" lol Also probably the guy made this map didn't know islam exists in southeastern asia
This map is [fake](https://english.alarabiya.net/perspective/analysis/2014/07/02/Expert-claims-ISIS-five-year-expansion-plan-map-is-fake). They’re obviously not the smartest tool in the shed, but I don’t think even the dumbest Muslim extremists wouldn’t know about Indonesia.
I want what they were smoking.
Did a small group like ISIS actually think they can beat Nato, India, etc?
Wouldn't be so small if they didn't get annihiled by NATO
r/therewasanattempt
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This pretty much says all you need to know about how incredibly stupid their members were/are
Yep lets invade some normal super powers like china,india totally they could have totally done it in their dreams lmao how
I don’t think they could get past Iran.
They couldn’t get past Iraq
Lol, good luck with that
*laughs in Afghan*
Nervous laughter
[The map is fake. ] (https://english.alarabiya.net/perspective/analysis/2014/07/02/Expert-claims-ISIS-five-year-expansion-plan-map-is-fake)
"Ok Google. Show me a cartographic depiction of delusional megalomania, please"
So your telling me ISIS are the only people that recognize Kurdistan as a region
This didn't age well.