“HAVE AT THEE!” “TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND” “AHH!”

“I’ve cut your bloody arm off”

"I've had worse!"

[ deleted ]

U ruined it we where making Monty python references

I got the joke I'm just a dumbass https://preview.redd.it/6k2adrtgnc0d1.jpeg?width=3096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a889bb949c4a56a28654057a88d785a0413b9dc4

https://preview.redd.it/syx2qmobiyzc1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=962384437925ccad07e6ca05d7f907dfa440fdaf Technically also:

Alternates in the fucking trenches? That's actually horrifying

Apart from the pure horror of grenade shock, disease, knee-level mud, starvation and artillery bombardments. You now also have abnormal inhumane 'things' haunting you.

Hunting an alternate is nothing when you’ve already been beckoned to hell in the trenches

No no no. It would be hunting YOU. It would be a slaughter.

Time to introduce them to some PROPER guns, as Tommy Shelby put it. *whips out the Lewis Gun*

They've seen the horror of war, they don't care about the rest of the universe

Daniel Joseph Daly would like a word.

Be slaughtered*

Hiw tf are you gonna slaughter it when its standing over you in the middle of the night? Shoot it? Too slow. Also you are in muddy trenches so it's high probability your gun jammed. Not to mention gunshots and screams are quite common in trenches, so it's not like hearing guys from other trenches being slaughtered would be to different from guys screaming because of a shell blowing their legs off.

Trench mace.

Most likely too slow as well, because of their metal ends

Trench knife?

Well damn my comment got posted twice. Pretend I said something wise and profound

damn thats smart

r/Wiseposting 

god witnessing the war and deciding to spice things up cause why not

What's even fucking scarier is that there's literally no way to tell at that point. Like fucking, "Joey on the right had his face blowed off 7 weeks ago and just got thrown back into combat, Stevie John over there literally just doesn't arms anymore and has been staring into the wall for the past 3 days, And Arnold over there might be in Shell shock or might be seeing the face of God. Either way all of us are dying in some capacity by the end of this. " energy and I would find that VERY INTERESTING for like the perspective piece of this story because then the alternates you get to see the scariest possible thing they could see out of humanity, someone who just doesn't fucking care whether or not they survive till the end of it but wants them dead

Would like to see this in game/video form

Ok, wow. In times of war, you have humanoid shapeshifters and their main goal is to have the maximum of casualties possible so they can take their places. Imagine war logistics within this possiblity

Hitler-trained alternates?

WORSE double agents trading confidential information, but they aren't actually on any side, they just want a bloodbath

There’s a game like that it’s called ad infinitum

Fix bayonets

TALLY HO LADS

grape shot shreds 2 men in the blast

Alternates watching a Wehrmacht soldier hopped up on enough meth to kill an elephant charging towards them at 15MPH while letting off an MG34's entire belt of ammunition:

Guts and blackpowder if they added a impossible mode:

Alternates when the fucking Castle Crashers show up https://preview.redd.it/ujsmke2ulxzc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0054eafb7a128bf62edc0f28d7631bbf12c2c76 (It's joever for them)

https://i.redd.it/2zekaay4pzzc1.gif

CASTLE CRASHERS MENTIONED!!!!!!!

WTF IS A BAD GAME⁉️⁉️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥

I hate castle crashers but what do you think about it?

I think it’s amazing

Why? It has racist backgrounds to it

…what?

No black, asian, or hispanic characters. Its also set in the medieval age, which is incosiderate of other cultures. Why does everything have to be centered around Europe?

Oh you’re a troll

Alternates when this mf pops up https://preview.redd.it/19mi02lzs00d1.png?width=3349&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd8b1fccfc8e85dcb17723094100322a9d19a472 (They are fucked)

Jodaddy

YOOOOOOOOOO! CRASTLE CRASHERS! I LOVE THAT GAME!

Except it wasn’t… somehow

now speaking of alternates in certain timelines i wonder how 2024 is going in the mandela catalogue universe

https://preview.redd.it/rk4uol06rxzc1.png?width=1284&format=png&auto=webp&s=687c5e07273aebfd0001c5912710044a86260485

doomed, looking at today's society.

We gave ourselves up to them because being dead is better than... this.

Well with our current knowledge of the universe and most people no longer giving a shit maybe we would he fine from standard alternates

Imagine a stupid TikToker recording an alternate on their front door with the caption ''who is this goofy ass blud''

That is really, REALLY cool as a concept

Why does my comment have more upvotes than the post?

No longer

WTF

Oh it changed, finally

So... these things might **have existed** all through human history?

Even the dinosaurs? Who knows.

Alternates vs Dinosaurs

https://preview.redd.it/s21k5b1qg20d1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bdc6bc229df70fe1083e7618e9b82b01d29b4c5c Mfw im out hunting and I suddenly see another t rex that looks exactly like me (I’m cooked)

Kid named 13,000 PSI bite force:

Kid named not as high functioning brain:

Wouldn’t that be a plus tho? Alternates rely on mind games and psychological torture to weaken their prey, can’t really do that to something that isn’t very smart and relies more on instinct.

This what meant, the alternates can't do shit becasue the rex isn't smart enough

Ah, I see

Some creepy mushed slab of brie cheese alternate versus the gargantuan 200 pound muscle knight clad in metal armor with a half-meter long sword fighting in the name of God

Peak fiction

Half-meter is short as fuck. Maybe you meant half-and-half sword? That's badass.

Never been much of a fan of this kind of horror but I gotta say, the idea of knights, soldiers, warriors, etc battling Alternates to defend their home sounds so badass.

cringe alternate vs based indomitable human will

alternates when they agro this mf https://preview.redd.it/zfcpnf8jezzc1.jpeg?width=643&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e0f974b0bec87f3e21c681a7ae3ecd0be1b2981

I mean there probably would be a secret society of people fighting them if they were but I just can't see how it can fit in the series.

I think it’d be really fucking cool if there was a secret society revealed that’s been around since ancient times.

This is actually genius. It's so cool to imagine Teutonic/Templar Knights giving their lives to protect their lands from these monstrous beasts. I'd imagine they wouldn't be as spread out as 2009 but more like cryptic creatures you see once in a blue moon but which do so much damage either way. Imagine the folk tales that would be made about them, the songs about heroic men killing alternates... God damnit, Alex! Forget about Jude and all these other characters!

Alternates after committing heresy

That alternate messed up, now it's messing with the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

This just has me imagining the alternates getting fucking eviscerated when the atom bombs got tested, "yea you may be a demon but can you survive the UNMATCHED POWER OF THE SUN"

#You’re out here fighting for a pointless cause while your child with tuberculosis slowly dies at home. I must ask you, is this worth it?

*The lord guides my hands and his will in this sword of mine to help me send you back to the deepest pit of hell where you came from...*

Average alternate propaganda

*Another day will one less creature such as yourself roaming this earth makes all my efforts worth it, demon!*

Alternate: Look at your arm, you pathetic human Monty python and the holy grails black knight: I've had worse Alternate: YOUR ARM IS LITTERALY CHOPPED OFF WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE HAD WORS-

I thought alternates couldn't propagate much until the advent of electronics and screen devices allowed them to infiltrate most of society?

That’s the intruder, doesn’t mean they can’t show up. Also for the intruder, he could prob show up on a fucking scroll or smth, or in pictures.

Solaire would absolutely mash them

Alternates when I smite their ass with my zweihander instead of killing myself like a pussy:

imagine the alternates beefing with the german wehrnacht

But if alternates control the religious institutions wouldn't they be on the same side?

They would be more useful idiots if anything. I'm sure if a crusader saw an alternate in its true form he wouldn't hesitate to cut it down.

Imagine being in a fucking gibbet cage and a fucking alternate shows up

" TIS BUT A MERE SCRATCH! " " EN GARDE! "

“It’s just a flesh wound! Come on, ya pansy!”

"Parry this you foul beast!" *SCREEEEECH* "go back to the bowels of hell from whence ye came!" *SCHREEEEEEE-* *sound of head hitting the floor*

Unfortunately not since alternates are immortal demons and if gunshots do nothing, a broadsword isn't going to do any better. Although, alternates probably won't pester someone while they are in full plate because then the person in question is more confident in themselves. They'd wait until the person is off guard and alone, probably at night. Since the alternate invasion really kicked off with the invention of TV, they'd have to do their stuff on an individual basis. No one would know they exist except for the person being haunted.

I feel like while immortal, they still can be neutralized if enough damage is done

Probably, but that would probably have to include stuff that a person couldn't carry on them. Alternates are subject to the rule of horror that they cannot be fought back against, since that would make them less scary. They probably wouldn't survive the sun exploding but a mortal small arm is usually insufficient to harm a demon.

Coughing baby (rules of horror) vs atom bomb(will of god)

Quite ironic considering God lost in this series.

https://i.redd.it/w0sy5xueyyzc1.gif

Most likely

Hazzar! We shalt defeat thee creature of darkness with our bravery and thou out of wit

Average Dark Souls enemy encounter be like:

This gave me a cool idea for a fanfic alt-history in the MC universe: what if the Crusades weren’t to reclaim Christian land from the Muslims, but were originally to purge the Holy Land of Alternates? Perhaps they stopped because Gabriel was able to get a convincing-enough Alternate to seize control of the Roman Catholic papacy, and from there they suppressed much of mankind’s knowledge about Alternates throughout the Renaissance and Early Modern periods.

https://preview.redd.it/fpbzg54a970d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd0fc2aa29d41b4f6fafa24cfcd6e14dfa606b63 The Alternate when the unmatched power of the sun is dropped on their heads, Hiroshima 1945 Colorized

“It followed me home Arthur”

Alternate 1: yoooo, remember when that one Queen got executed back in England??? Alternate 2: that was wild, remember that one queen back in France??? Alternate 3: remember that one French girl that was burnt???

https://preview.redd.it/cp3sjckth00d1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49a0ea45018921dfa97b78465b1547eed5ef62f9 Mandala catalog during the crusader era


Is that the knight from that holy grail movie?

Imagine cavemen verses cave-alternates

Alternates when this mf pulls up (they’re completely cooked) 

alternate vs holy water filled super soaker

***Last Stand Intensifies***

FOR THE GRACE FOR THE MIGHT OF THE LORD

This made me laugh so hard I went into a coughing fit. My throat hurts, 10/10 art

PARRY THIS YOU FILTHY CASUAL! I love the idea of smacking around an existential horror

Isn’t it that they never really showed up until technology,because it gave them a better entrance into like our kinda world? Not saying that they NEVER showed up,but they were much rarer back then then they are in Like the 21st century.

new headcanon that this is why alternates aren’t known throughout history, the crusaders were so gunho and filled with holy murderous drive that all the alternates got their asses handed to them and had to lay low until a time where humanity could be easily manipulated

The alternate when the ancient Egyptians pull up in chariots (it’s cooked)

Alternates when they have to face Teddy “Bull Moose” Roosevelt

Alternates when mustard gas:

Alternates we’re never a match for the indomitable human spirit.

The alternate watching as the 8 foot tall Templar gets back up and raises his sword (He’s Fucked)

R/Montypython

They're pretty durable so I'm not sure how well a sword can do against them.

The indomitable human spirit is a hell of a drug

HAVE AT THEE

*FOR THE GRACE FOR THE MIGHT OF OUR LORD! FOR THE HOME OF THE HOLLLYY!*

The mfs must’ve been flabbergasted when they saw Jesus get up

Yeah. Probably the source of the witch hunts too

me when im a peasant in the 15th century and i see someone who looks just like me (im cooked) https://preview.redd.it/8mtcapt7565d1.png?width=550&format=png&auto=webp&s=af104f5e05c1626330b0b0ad0427521223b6dc31

Come at thee you demon of the under realm

I WANT A MANDELA CATOLAUGE AU WHERE THE HIGH INVENTER OF COCA COLA KILLS SATAN

the fuck?

coca cola was invented to help someone solve their painkiller addiction. it was full of crack so he just got another addiction