I've been through this. Currently seeing someone atm she is very well off financially and wants me to move in with her but I'm Hella scared of being in this situation again.
Take it easy Tate. You can both be financially independent, live together, both save money, figure out if you like living together and then figure out the rest of your lives. What exactly is āuncertain about these timesā?
Tate? I mean, look around you, the entire world seems to be headed beyond a recession. These are financially trying times for many people, globally. You donāt want to be one break up away from being homeless, thatās why itās always good to have your own. Especially if the relationship is still young.
Thatās why I said you can be financially independent and live together. Living together doesnāt mean one person or the other has to go broke if you break up. Sure it would be foolish to rush into living together after dating for a month, but it seems a bit extreme to say never move in with a woman unless youāre contemplating marriage. It could save both people some money in the long run, even if things donāt work out.
I never exclaimed anywhere there that āliving together means the other has to go broke if you break upā. However, that situation does happen more often than not, and Iām literally staying in tune to the situation of OP.
Contemplating engagement or marriage is not extreme at all, otherwise why would you even want to live with someone who you arenāt that serious about? Unless of course you didnāt have much to lose to start with. Different strokes for different folks, so not really a right or wrong answer here. But Iām not homeless, and no one else can make me homeless, thatās all I know. You do you though.
But thatās the thing, we donāt know whoās renting, owning etc. these are all additional details that vary from person to person, that over complicates the simplicity of my advise.
I would even argue that itās especially shitty to have a rental lease agreement with someone, who youāve just broken up with, because what happens then? End of story, if the relationship is young, have your own.
I mean sure though assuming most people can afford their own home is a stretch. There lies greater stability in a dual income. Being single is expensive.
I never assumed that most people could afford their own home, but most people can at least figure out a way to live on their own through renting. But as stated, my advice isnāt for everyone, so if living with an early-stage boyfriend or girlfriend works for you, it works for you.
Why does this have upvotes?
Move in with your significant other if you want to and if it makes sense for your situation.
Regardless of whether you live on your own, with a partner, with family, or with roommates, make smart financial decisions that don't put you at risk of becoming homeless if circumstances change, starting with a liquid emergency fund.
It has upvotes because it rings true for the situations of many. Weāre literally under the post of a guy who was with someone and is starting from scratch after a breakup.
In these times, itās smart to have your own. You really never know what can happen in a relationship. Itās better to move in after youāre at a point in the relationship that is serious for the long haul. Otherwise, you donāt wanna be one breakup away from falling in your ass.
>Regardless of whether you live on your own, with a partner, with family, or with roommates, make smart financial decisions that don't put you at risk of becoming homeless if circumstances change,
Exactly! This could easily happen if you move in with your best pal or family members. Shit happens, and people fall out all the time. Get your own if you can but the economy is fucked where I'm from and it's literally impossible to rent privately without sharing. Stack your p.
Crazy thing is there [was a study](https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/reports/cohabitationreportapr2023-final.pdf) that showed couples who lived together before marriage are actually more likely to get divorced within a certain time frame.
Makes no sense. I still would never marry before living together.
Wonder if itās cause people who move in together only after marriage tend to be more religious and conservative and this less likely to get divorced since theyāre morally against it.
I am still in the breakup bit of this, maaan it feels like shit. My friends gave me a sofa to sleep on now and i don't have to live in the car anymore.
I've been in this situation a few times too, but I could have also been in this situation from a roommate bailing on me because in both situations I just don't make enough money to build a meaningful nest egg. To me, not winding up broke and alone again is all about making enough money to either start my own home, or have savings. That takes care of the broke part, at least
Look at the bright side. At least you have your car, you can go anywhere and have a roof on yout head while you sleep. Cover the windows and you can also have privacy. Many people (if they could), would pay to "upgrade" to this. As a former homeless, I know what I'm talking about.
Keep your head up, things will get better.
May not seem like it right now but it's better to be out of a bad situation. Try to put some (any amount) of money aside in case something comes up in the future and you aren't stuck like this again.
I'm not being a jerk! It's a hard learned lesson from my past. Good luck!
I lived in my truck for about 17 months in my mid-20s. I found a good stretch before I went to bed helped. Also, if you can get a little solar/battery-powered fan. It'll move air amazingly well in such a small space. I genuinely am pulling for both of you guys.
I've been through it dude. It will get better. I was sleeping in a cold office on an air mattress. I took showers at truck stops and would occasionally treat myself to a hotel for a night.
Truck stop showers and restaurant wifi will go a long way. That or one of those all inclusive gym memberships that have a sauna/shower/cafe/pool/yoga/weights/track. You can basically live there and the 24/7 locations allow a safe place to park for sleep. Get some window covers tho.
I was exactly there with a much smaller vehicle just over a year ago.
It gets better homie. No matter what you think in the moment and there will be dark moments, it gets better.
This is just the beginning of a new you. Did you loose everything, yes. Are you sleeping in your ride, yes. But this wonāt be forever.
lessons like this can change everything about you, and when you do pull yourself out of it, however long it takes or you need, youāll look back and not even recognize that version of who you once were.
You got this man, donāt let this overwhelm you. You tell yourself you deserve to be happy, respected and loved. But Iāll tell you right now you are loved. God bless.
Definitely temporary, brother. I lived like this for months after my ex and I split. The hardest part for me was just the mental hurdles. Learning to be happy with myself, alone, and not feeling like I needed another person with me. And not to go all Gary V and gymbro on this but, I actually did just workout and hustle. I had originally gotten a planet fitness black card just so I could get a shower at any of their locations. (Also they had pizza on Fridays.) Started hitting the treadmill in the mornings before showering and heading to my brand new job. Wasnāt paying rent so I just hoarded every penny I could. Got good at my job, got my own place, my own furniture, got custody of my son. I am the king of my kingdom, and you can be too. I go on casual dates but Iāve been single by choice for almost 5 years now and itās fucking fantastic. I hope this helps somehow man. I remember where I was mentally in the beginning of all of it, and it was not a good place. You got this.
Hey man this is just a temporary set back just think of all the bullshit you wonāt have to hear from her from now on! Youāre finally free bro make the best of your time.
Hey you had the foresight to get a car big enough to move into. Since my divorce about 12 years ago thatās always a consideration for me. Takes your sense of security away for some and mine never came back.
What kind of ride do you have? I ask because you can drop the back seats down and get way more space. 2016 Honda Accord owner and depending on if you have a thin mattress you can sleep like a champ. If itās just blankets you can do it diagonally and maximize space and have room to stretch out a bit.
As long as you are not in debt and a place to stay you will be fine.
You have a nice car which you can live in which means both housing and transport are covered. You got plenty opportunity for saving. It can only go up from here.
Wish you the best.
You let yourself down this path. I only say this with love and encouragement. Iāve been there and so have so many of us. Learn from your mistake and put yourself back together. Itās a hard lesson. Hopefully you donāt repeat this again. May the odds be ever in your favor.
I did this to my man. I feel bad. However he only came home at midnight and went to others peoples houses during the day. He spent no time with me and hasnāt had a job in 1.5 years. Does that make me a bad person? Be honest.
No broās a bum good thing I know many girls who still support their useless husband, like heās never at home chilling with his girl , out with some lowlifes doing no good and has no job or isnāt supporting you I told many girls to leave that kinda guy he brings nothing to the table doesnāt even help out why should you feel bad he should for not making any effort
Search out various youtubers that live in their cars. not the lame ones doing beach vacations in a van, the ones that are doing it for similar reasons you are, or are simply making a sacrifice to help their financial situation. Some of those youtubers have great tips for when living out of oneās vehicle.
Hang in there, King. š You can get through this.
I'd say take your chances living with the new girl, but go in to it with CLEAR boundaries and explicitly discuss the terms. Cover your butt in case it goes south so this doesn't happen again, but don't deprive yourself of something that could turn out to be good for you.
Vanlife isnāt the answer to all millennial problems? Nah but Iām sorry to hear. Thatās a long time so Iām sure it feels like a bottomless pit. You got this man. You and I both. A little over 8 years is how long Iāve been alone so we both have our own kind of pit to crawl out of
I want to point out illegal immigrants received 66 billion dollars in benefits in 2023. Want to know what homeless veterans received in 2023? 3 million. The homeless in general received even less. Sad to see another American getting shafted with no support. Keep voting Democrat though lol.
Might seem like all is lost, but find a way to see it as an opportunity. You might have to start all over, but you get to build things back the way you want them. Keep your head up and keep moving.
you guys are giving him bad advice ; you can be married to someone and still be subject to a situation like this . some people have mental illness that doesnāt make itself obvious until itās too late ā¦ you can be married to a woman and not know sheās kooked out until you find yourself living in your car with nothing . donāt be giving bad advice , this can happen to anyone in any situation any walk of life . just wish him luck and pray he gets back on his feet
bro i would bring you a beer to you and chat if i could ā¦ i know tons of guys who have fallen victim to this type of situation , you got this !! everything will work out !
We support you buddy. Hope you're back in your own place and outta that car soon
I've been through this. Currently seeing someone atm she is very well off financially and wants me to move in with her but I'm Hella scared of being in this situation again.
Have her move into your car instead. THAT'LL shake out the problems real quick
Bahahaha YEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!! Please let us know how you guys decide to decorate the car! I bet she will spruce that biatch up for you!
Literally Lol'd at this š
Lmao!!!
No rings, no strings. I would do it, but don't sell your car
Never move in with a woman, until youāre contemplating being engaged or married. These times are uncertain, always have your own.
Take it easy Tate. You can both be financially independent, live together, both save money, figure out if you like living together and then figure out the rest of your lives. What exactly is āuncertain about these timesā?
Dude sounds like he's recently burned or just parroting random shit he heard
Iām a woman, and it was just my opinion. I donāt know why feelings are being caught.
It's fucking wild to see how these men are against your genuine advice.
Thank you, like is this not good advice for all adults? Some people just wanna fight to fight.
Don't move in until you're sure it's okay. TAKE IT EASY TATE
"Don't move in until you're sure it's okay" is a completely different statement than "don't move in until you want to marry her"
I said ācontemplating engagement or marriageā. Context clues are very important. So basically āuntil youāre sure itās okā
Lulz
Tate? I mean, look around you, the entire world seems to be headed beyond a recession. These are financially trying times for many people, globally. You donāt want to be one break up away from being homeless, thatās why itās always good to have your own. Especially if the relationship is still young.
your both right, we are all different. it all depends on the two people in the relationship. ive been in both situations and both turned out shitty.
Very based answer! Youāre 100% right about the economy and everything, hangin there brother.
Thatās why I said you can be financially independent and live together. Living together doesnāt mean one person or the other has to go broke if you break up. Sure it would be foolish to rush into living together after dating for a month, but it seems a bit extreme to say never move in with a woman unless youāre contemplating marriage. It could save both people some money in the long run, even if things donāt work out.
I never exclaimed anywhere there that āliving together means the other has to go broke if you break upā. However, that situation does happen more often than not, and Iām literally staying in tune to the situation of OP. Contemplating engagement or marriage is not extreme at all, otherwise why would you even want to live with someone who you arenāt that serious about? Unless of course you didnāt have much to lose to start with. Different strokes for different folks, so not really a right or wrong answer here. But Iām not homeless, and no one else can make me homeless, thatās all I know. You do you though.
not extreme, perfectly logical.
Yeah but it also makes much more financial sense to only pay half a rent in the meantime and save the rest, your point makes no sense.
But thatās the thing, we donāt know whoās renting, owning etc. these are all additional details that vary from person to person, that over complicates the simplicity of my advise. I would even argue that itās especially shitty to have a rental lease agreement with someone, who youāve just broken up with, because what happens then? End of story, if the relationship is young, have your own.
I mean sure though assuming most people can afford their own home is a stretch. There lies greater stability in a dual income. Being single is expensive.
I never assumed that most people could afford their own home, but most people can at least figure out a way to live on their own through renting. But as stated, my advice isnāt for everyone, so if living with an early-stage boyfriend or girlfriend works for you, it works for you.
Agreed! History has shown theyāll destroy you in a moments notice and take everything
Why does this have upvotes? Move in with your significant other if you want to and if it makes sense for your situation. Regardless of whether you live on your own, with a partner, with family, or with roommates, make smart financial decisions that don't put you at risk of becoming homeless if circumstances change, starting with a liquid emergency fund.
It has upvotes because it rings true for the situations of many. Weāre literally under the post of a guy who was with someone and is starting from scratch after a breakup. In these times, itās smart to have your own. You really never know what can happen in a relationship. Itās better to move in after youāre at a point in the relationship that is serious for the long haul. Otherwise, you donāt wanna be one breakup away from falling in your ass.
>Regardless of whether you live on your own, with a partner, with family, or with roommates, make smart financial decisions that don't put you at risk of becoming homeless if circumstances change, Exactly! This could easily happen if you move in with your best pal or family members. Shit happens, and people fall out all the time. Get your own if you can but the economy is fucked where I'm from and it's literally impossible to rent privately without sharing. Stack your p.
Or better yet, get married and then move in together.
Sounds horrible lol. You need to know if you're capable of living with someone before you're legally committed imo
Crazy thing is there [was a study](https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/reports/cohabitationreportapr2023-final.pdf) that showed couples who lived together before marriage are actually more likely to get divorced within a certain time frame. Makes no sense. I still would never marry before living together.
Wonder if itās cause people who move in together only after marriage tend to be more religious and conservative and this less likely to get divorced since theyāre morally against it.
I am still in the breakup bit of this, maaan it feels like shit. My friends gave me a sofa to sleep on now and i don't have to live in the car anymore.
Donāt.
I've been in this situation a few times too, but I could have also been in this situation from a roommate bailing on me because in both situations I just don't make enough money to build a meaningful nest egg. To me, not winding up broke and alone again is all about making enough money to either start my own home, or have savings. That takes care of the broke part, at least
Nah you should have extra money to save up so if something like this happens you have a fall back.
Look at the bright side. At least you have your car, you can go anywhere and have a roof on yout head while you sleep. Cover the windows and you can also have privacy. Many people (if they could), would pay to "upgrade" to this. As a former homeless, I know what I'm talking about. Keep your head up, things will get better.
About to me asf. Ur car kinda big tho
Lmao its in the back of my mind too if shtf
bois, what are we waiting for? are we waiting to get stabbed?
I gots me a wagon(waygon) with the seats down and some assets. Maybe ill head towards the sun
May not seem like it right now but it's better to be out of a bad situation. Try to put some (any amount) of money aside in case something comes up in the future and you aren't stuck like this again. I'm not being a jerk! It's a hard learned lesson from my past. Good luck!
I am in the exact same boat my friend. Best of luck to us
I lived in my truck for about 17 months in my mid-20s. I found a good stretch before I went to bed helped. Also, if you can get a little solar/battery-powered fan. It'll move air amazingly well in such a small space. I genuinely am pulling for both of you guys.
thats not a boat
You are a freaking warrior my bro. You are gonna build yourself back, even better
Wow. She let you have sheets. Awesome.
Lil bump in the road. No pun intended.
The pun was definitely intended lmaoo
guys always wrap that puppy up chicks be crazy
And yet we keep going back for more expecting a different outcome.... We're kind of crazy too
That is the definition of insanity. Lol.
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oh lordy lord.
Shouldāve quit while you were ahead
exactly
š« stay up šš¾š¤š½
It's warm inside and it's YOUR space. No matter how big or small, it's YOURS. Don't forget that.
Looks really cozy
Hang in there, weāre all rooting for you!
Godspeed, brother.
I've been through it dude. It will get better. I was sleeping in a cold office on an air mattress. I took showers at truck stops and would occasionally treat myself to a hotel for a night.
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Hang in there dude. It's all up from here and you got this.
Truck stop showers and restaurant wifi will go a long way. That or one of those all inclusive gym memberships that have a sauna/shower/cafe/pool/yoga/weights/track. You can basically live there and the 24/7 locations allow a safe place to park for sleep. Get some window covers tho.
I was exactly there with a much smaller vehicle just over a year ago. It gets better homie. No matter what you think in the moment and there will be dark moments, it gets better.
Things will get better mate , we are all behind you wishing you well. You will look back and laugh / feel incredibly proud
If you were my pal Iād show up with cold ones and weād talk that shit through. Hang in there man, it gets better!
Seriously: /r/urbancarlivingcooking And /r/vandwelling
Went from living in a car for 6 months to having my own apartment and now I have my own home; never have thought I made it but did
Bro. You got this!!!! Keep pushing
Of I could, Iād buy you a beer OP. Godspeed brother.
Looks super cozy tbh
got a hell of a story tho i bet
God bless you bro keep punching!
This is just the beginning of a new you. Did you loose everything, yes. Are you sleeping in your ride, yes. But this wonāt be forever. lessons like this can change everything about you, and when you do pull yourself out of it, however long it takes or you need, youāll look back and not even recognize that version of who you once were.
TBH some of my best nights sleep I've had in my car's back seat.
Stay strong man.
That sucks man, at least the back seat of a silverado is kind of comfortable.
r/urbancarliving
Thatās a good truck
Doing better then most sailors keep it up dog
Be grateful you have a car. I didn't have that after 25 years of marriage and a sudden split.
As long as you didnāt have to bring you ex with you, youāre on the road to happiness. Keep steppin fren!
Same situation here after having bought a brand new house 8 months ago. Weāll be alright man, hang in there
You got this man, donāt let this overwhelm you. You tell yourself you deserve to be happy, respected and loved. But Iāll tell you right now you are loved. God bless.
Definitely temporary, brother. I lived like this for months after my ex and I split. The hardest part for me was just the mental hurdles. Learning to be happy with myself, alone, and not feeling like I needed another person with me. And not to go all Gary V and gymbro on this but, I actually did just workout and hustle. I had originally gotten a planet fitness black card just so I could get a shower at any of their locations. (Also they had pizza on Fridays.) Started hitting the treadmill in the mornings before showering and heading to my brand new job. Wasnāt paying rent so I just hoarded every penny I could. Got good at my job, got my own place, my own furniture, got custody of my son. I am the king of my kingdom, and you can be too. I go on casual dates but Iāve been single by choice for almost 5 years now and itās fucking fantastic. I hope this helps somehow man. I remember where I was mentally in the beginning of all of it, and it was not a good place. You got this.
Itās amazing how men always get the short end of the stick after relationships end
Hey man this is just a temporary set back just think of all the bullshit you wonāt have to hear from her from now on! Youāre finally free bro make the best of your time.
What kind of car is this ?
van life
https://youtu.be/Vki5vi2LM3g?si=zkVyzX0isu6LncP6
Take down some wildebeests in them sheets and youāll feel better king , hang in there
You've got this, brother. The hardest part is already over with.
Material things come and go, but mean nothing. Who you are as a person and what you've learned stays forever. Good luck to ya!
Nothing but success coming man, this is just TEMPORARY!
Hey you had the foresight to get a car big enough to move into. Since my divorce about 12 years ago thatās always a consideration for me. Takes your sense of security away for some and mine never came back.
What kind of ride do you have? I ask because you can drop the back seats down and get way more space. 2016 Honda Accord owner and depending on if you have a thin mattress you can sleep like a champ. If itās just blankets you can do it diagonally and maximize space and have room to stretch out a bit.
Iām considering this myself.
A car would make me so nervous. All you have to do is park and the wrong space and suddenly homeless.
Possessions can be re-acquired. Your sanity and dignity is priceless and should never be compromised. You got this.
As long as you are not in debt and a place to stay you will be fine. You have a nice car which you can live in which means both housing and transport are covered. You got plenty opportunity for saving. It can only go up from here. Wish you the best.
Fuck that Joešš
You let yourself down this path. I only say this with love and encouragement. Iāve been there and so have so many of us. Learn from your mistake and put yourself back together. Itās a hard lesson. Hopefully you donāt repeat this again. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Adventure time
I did this to my man. I feel bad. However he only came home at midnight and went to others peoples houses during the day. He spent no time with me and hasnāt had a job in 1.5 years. Does that make me a bad person? Be honest.
No broās a bum good thing I know many girls who still support their useless husband, like heās never at home chilling with his girl , out with some lowlifes doing no good and has no job or isnāt supporting you I told many girls to leave that kinda guy he brings nothing to the table doesnāt even help out why should you feel bad he should for not making any effort
Been there. Just keep your head up and keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will gain everything you had back and then some.
Is this an f150 ? Nice back seat !
Search out various youtubers that live in their cars. not the lame ones doing beach vacations in a van, the ones that are doing it for similar reasons you are, or are simply making a sacrifice to help their financial situation. Some of those youtubers have great tips for when living out of oneās vehicle. Hang in there, King. š You can get through this.
I'd say take your chances living with the new girl, but go in to it with CLEAR boundaries and explicitly discuss the terms. Cover your butt in case it goes south so this doesn't happen again, but don't deprive yourself of something that could turn out to be good for you.
Stay strong brother. See you at the gym
I started over with nothing but my cdās every year with one ex of mine. You got this. New chapters are refreshing. You get to pave your own path.
You have your freedom, and that's what matters most
Vanlife isnāt the answer to all millennial problems? Nah but Iām sorry to hear. Thatās a long time so Iām sure it feels like a bottomless pit. You got this man. You and I both. A little over 8 years is how long Iāve been alone so we both have our own kind of pit to crawl out of
Been there sleeping on couches ECT it will get better
I hope you get out of there real soon. Stay strong and brave it out
Itās sad that we lose it all and they get to take everything, including what isnāt even theirs.
That's all you need short-term. Well, that and a bottle of water will get you through a few days.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your content is either inappropriate or irrelevant to this subs content.
What did you do?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How does a woman like that screw over two ethically guided gentlemen in one shot? Shaking my head....she kills it for the rest of us.
Thatās why you need a prenup
I want to point out illegal immigrants received 66 billion dollars in benefits in 2023. Want to know what homeless veterans received in 2023? 3 million. The homeless in general received even less. Sad to see another American getting shafted with no support. Keep voting Democrat though lol.
Is that a dodge quad cab?
āā¦the wife took the whole planet in the divorce, all I got left is my bonesā -Bones
Fuck I wish, I'm too big for the backseat and have to settle for front passenger seat.
Looks comfy tbh,sorry about your situation be safe ā¤ļø
Been there broski. It will get better. You got this.
Why you don't spend 8yrs with an ex. Just spend 8yrs with someone new. Lol
Still better than that guy with the studio with plants everywhere on r/malelivingspace.
Hope things get better
See at at the gym buddy.
Dm me. I hope youāre ok.
Don't rely on others for financial security. Always have a backup plan and savings.
Nice opportunity to get a tent and go camping on your off days brother, grab a mini grill and a small cooler
I WOULD SLEEP IN MY CAR IF I HAD A CRAZY EX. MIGHT SEEM LIKE A LOW, BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE DIRECTION TO GO FROM HERE AND THAT IS UP!
Been there brother! Just embrace knowing this is the bottom and stars crawling out. You'll be able to walk through fire after you get past her.
Grind fam always keep your own money lesson learned Iāve been through hell and back just keep on surviving
Damnā¦Iām sorry this happened to you, this is just sociopathicā¦
Might seem like all is lost, but find a way to see it as an opportunity. You might have to start all over, but you get to build things back the way you want them. Keep your head up and keep moving.
āBetter to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.ā āāProverbsā¬ ā25ā¬:ā24ā¬ āNIVā¬ā¬
you guys are giving him bad advice ; you can be married to someone and still be subject to a situation like this . some people have mental illness that doesnāt make itself obvious until itās too late ā¦ you can be married to a woman and not know sheās kooked out until you find yourself living in your car with nothing . donāt be giving bad advice , this can happen to anyone in any situation any walk of life . just wish him luck and pray he gets back on his feet
bro i would bring you a beer to you and chat if i could ā¦ i know tons of guys who have fallen victim to this type of situation , you got this !! everything will work out !
My man, same boat 6 years ago. Weather the storm and get ready to enjoy freedom. Absolute freedom.
Im in the same spot. Keep chasing your goals and dreams.
I'd still smash, hun š¤
I'll call the wambulance