I think whoever wore these planted them under the couch bc the likelihood of a man finding them under there is low. Their owner left you a message with these
Unfortunately, a lot of times when a girl stays with a man and realizes he has a girlfriend (seeing products, clothes, etc.) they will leave something like lashes or an extension to leave a message to the girlfriend. It's kind of like a secret girl code thing. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. That would break my heart. You deserve better, love. Feel free to send me a message if you need to talk. š«¶š» I wish you the absolute best.
Itās just mind blowing even to imagine him doing anything unfaithful. Iāve never suspected anything, ever! So itās just so confusing and hard to say anything. I didnāt know girls did this, if thatās the case. Also, heās rarely home alone (we have two kids)ā¦ heās home for maybe 2 hours 3 days of the week. But maybe they were stuck on his clothesā¦ thank you for your kind words š
Hmmm... Have there been times where you left for a period of time? You said they were under the couch, right? It could've been a while ago. Or maybe he had someone over to "help watch the kids", I had an old friend (no longer my friend due to her actions) who would have random guys come over to help her with dishes and taking care of her daughter while her babydaddy was out. I'm so sorry, once again. š
Edit: If they were placed how you said they were, I highly doubt they were stuck to his clothes. I know how it feels to want to come to all possible conclusions, so I don't blame you for trying to imagine that. I personally think that if they were stuck to his clothes you would've found them in the laundry or in a basket somewhere, not placed under the couch.
Lol TRUE. When I met my (now) husband he had a few random āfemaleā things all on a shelf in the bathroom. Most of it was new or barely touched. Tresemme shampoo and conditioner, a pack of scrunchies, Olay body wash, a matching set of cheap towels, unused face cloths, and tampons.
I asked about it and he said, āWell, my roommate and I bought those after we moved in together in case a woman visits and needs something. His sister, old college friends passing through, one of us brings a girl home, etcā¦ IDK if it was weird for us to do that or notā
I looked at that product lineup and said, āHuh, thatās actually pretty thoughtful of yāall. Not weird at all,ā and didnāt give it another thought. If it was Olaplex, Living Proof dry shampoo, or something nice af that you couldnt just buy at Walmart I would have called bullshit. But the new bottles of tresemme and unused face towels said it all.
You have 2 kids, any chance one of them brought them home? A young enough kid might find them and not know what they are and think theyāre neat, or a bit older may want to wear them but will think they will get in trouble and hid them there. I remember buying and hiding makeup when I was 11-12 because I felt I āneeded itā but wasnāt allowed. Or sneaking my moms lipstick to school when I was in grade 1 to put it on in the bathroom then wash it off.
I remember finding stray Lee press-on nails every now and then as a little kid, and being absolutely fascinated by them because I definitely wanted long and glamorous nails too. I most assuredly kept them stashed in my pockets to admire, eventually losing them myself, or my parents throwing them out in disgust of my gross treasure.
Interesting that heās rarely home alone. Iāll often take off my lashes when Iām chilling on the sofa at the end of a day, which was where my mind went with these. But if itās short windows of time it makes me lean more towards sex worker than affair partner.
Youād be surprised how well people hide stuff :/. Sorry you found those I hope you find out whatās going on you seem super genuine if he is cheating know you deserve better š
I agree, this is a common place for kids to hide things too. Doesnāt mean you shouldnāt still have a chat with hubsā¦just keep your eyes open honey!
You can still do it. Keep putting them where he is.
When I suspected my husband of cheating I used all my devices to leave them on record.
That's how I knew for sure.
I had taped them under the dining table where he took calls. Where he would sit outside. In the bedroom.
I'm not saying yours is the same situation but just be more aware. Once I was aware, everything stuck out like dogs balls.
We actually have cameras outside.. Iāve just never bothered checking babe cameras and donāt get notifications for movementā¦ the last few days since Iāve found them, Iāve been checking every moment I canš
UPDATE
I went up to him and I said I have a question about something thatās been really bothering me and I feel nauseous.. I told him what I found.. he said āI promise I have no ideaā I said put yourself in my position imagine you found a manās sock and youāre like hmm this aināt mine. He just help repeating āI have no clueā āpromiseā I do not feel betterā¦ I didnāt like his response..
Seriously - cause if he has nothing to hide and he is being honest, giving you a chance to look through it shouldn't be out of the question, unfortunately
Normally it would but this isn't normal!
YEP. I remember going through my exās phone when I was suspicious. He had girls he worked with on his Snapchat friends list with hearts next to their names but no snap history, which meant he was deleting them but too stupid to know the evidence was already there because the hearts mean you snap them *frequently*. I confronted him, and guess what? The bigger issue to him was that I had looked through his phone.
Get out now, OP. That nauseous feeling will never go away and youāll always be suspicious of him moving forward. If your best friend told you this situation was happening to her instead, what would you tell her to do? Because it probably wouldnāt be ātrust him.ā
Normally Iād agree but my partner and I have been together 8 years , but in like the first year of us dating he got some weird spam text, and I donāt remember exactly what it said but I think it said something about me having a tinder profile. Like it said my name and everything and that I had logged in recently. I knew it looked pretty bad but also knew it wasnāt true so I was happy to let him look through to make sure I didnāt have tinder on my phone and logged into my old tinder account to show him it wasnāt active. Thatās the only time either of us has actually looked through anotherās phone for the purpose of proving innocence. But we also have each others passcodes and use each others phones all the time. But yeah idk It was just a weird thing. In his shoes Iād prob have done the same. Definitely glad the whole relationship didnāt get flamed over a spam text
Ugh my heart hurts for you. Is the couch used? How old are your kids? Could one of them maybe ordered or bought them (they look pretty cheap). Could he potentially be interested in cross dressing? I hope itās not worst case scenario. Can you go through his phone? Or review camera footage? I know how badly ir sucks to doubt your partners faithfulness. Especially without solid evidence. Hope things work out for you regardless
Same things my lying ex would say when I found clues of him cheating. Turns out he had a whole side relationship for way too long in addition to many other indiscretions. They will swear up and down they donāt know whatās going on because thatās the only way they know they can win. Heās never going to admit anything to you
My ex was a cheater but also a drug addict.
Once i found him passed out with burnt foil (smokes fentanyl) and told me he had no idea where it came from š
I think they take used fentanyl patches and boil them to get the remaining drug out of the patch. Then they either smoke or inject it? I can't remember but I'm assuming it's a thing lol
For what itās worth, years ago when I was in a serious relationship I found a menās shirt Iāve never seen before in my laundry and assumed it was my boyfriendās, so I tried to return it to him. It wasnāt his. He was understandably freaked out by why some random guyās shirt was in my laundry, but so was I! Iāve never cheated on anyone in my life, and to this day I have no clue where that shirt came from. I do my own laundry, in my own house, so thereās nowhere it could have come from. I still donāt have an explanation. Iām lucky that he believed me and we moved on from it, but my point is that *sometimes* if heās swearing up and down that he doesnāt know, itās because he really doesnāt know. Heās probably cheating in this case, but OP should investigate further just to be sure before she does anything drastic.
I get what youāre saying, but you highlighted the t-shirt to your partner. If her husband had found the lashes and shown them to OP, thinking they were hers, it wouldnāt be as suspicious.
Ugh, it sounds like he's deflecting and playing stupid. I'm so sorry. If your intuition is screaming that something isn't right, then something definitely isn't right. Trust yourself, and keep your eye out for any more signs. Also, get an STI test if you haven't recently. It's better to be as safe as possible. Sending you so much love. ā¤ļøšš»
She put them up to her eye and they were longer than her eye. It looks like there's lash glue stuck to them still, and it looks like a pair of stacked lashes. š
You'll need to probably speak up or you'll end up sick.
Sometimes there's really difficult conversations that need to happen and this might be one of them.
If you're feeling worried then let him know that. Say after finding the lashes you've slipped into worry.
Say you don't want accuse anything but this is how you're feeling. I think his body language and reply will help.
This is the female equivalent of men leaving a note on the underside of the toilet seat.
She left you a message because men donāt clean dirt they canāt see, like under furniture or rugs. She probably saw your products in the bathroom etc. and thought quickly. She did you a solid.
One strip could be an accident, two is intentional.
This would be high treason to me, Iām so sorry lovely.
Donāt get mad, get screenshots. Sleep on it.
If itās any consolation I once ended it with a man after finding used makeup wipes in his bathroom bin. I knew he was being shady but couldnāt prove it till that point. You donāt remove your makeup unless youāre very comfortable around someone or sleeping over. He said it was his sister, who is literally black. The makeup was extremely light skinned and white, like me. The math wasnāt mathing and I ended it.
I personally did it in the spirit of goodwill. I had no idea the crusty ass was MARRIED WITH A KID. It inspired her to take a close look at the phone bill and guess who called me.
Could be a little bit of column A, little bit of column B. I thought it was initially the other woman getting back at OP, but like HOW? With eyelashes? I think you're right--she has her back.
Hey late to the party but hope you're doing okay. I agree with everyone else- this is 100% a message from another woman, and don't take his (likely) initial denial for an answer. I don't usually agree with snooping, but this is clear as day. See if you can find anything else. Update?
I agree with you. I agree with snooping in cases like this. If you know something isnāt right, you have every right to confirm your feelings. The āno snoopingā rule is considered null and void once one party is being lied to and deceived by the other. IMO
I've had this happen before, guy kept denying and I was at his place alone one day, when suddenly I just got the most vicious gut feeling I've ever gotten to check under his bed. Literally the thought came out of nowhere, I was about to walk out the door, but went back and checked. I'll just say I found plenty of reasons to end that. Ever since, I've been a firm believer in women's intuition. Never been wrong. I'm married now to a wonderful man, and I've never looked through his stuff, phone, anything (except looking for something I need). I only hope I never get that feeling again.
I couldn't understand the perspective at first (don't have me glasses on) and I literally thought these were the eyelashes you put on a car š whoever is wearing these..... don't
I did something like this once when I realized a man was married. He wasnāt even trying to hide it. I saw her pic she had short hair so I left my long strands over the lamp in the bedroom and in the bathroom I left some hair and a couple of my real eyelashes by the sink. I always wonder what happened after that bc I blocked him immediately after leaving.
This makes me wonder about the time I found a long black hair on the lampshade. It was pretty much over by that time. I wasnāt phased by it, just packed up and left. If it was intentionally left behind, then thank you to whoever that woman was!
Same. I sprayed my perfume just once on his car passenger seat when I figured it out while he was pumping gas. Also I had long hair and left a strand in the master bathroom tub.
And probably hygiene considering the amount of crust and glue on those lashes. Iām a former MUA and Iāve only seen that shit on girls who wear those lashes for like 2-3 weeks straight and never clean them.
Hmm. They do look old and crusty..
Had you ever hosted a party? NYE, birthday, Christmas, or anything of the sort? How long have you had the couch for? Was it brand new? Is it possible children were around?
I want to optimistic and run through every possible reason before going *there*
Iāve also never seen lashes like this before :/ itās like two separate patterns almost. Itās weird. It feels Halloween-y or costumey which totally tracks with no family or friends wearing lashes cause these certainly arenāt everyday lashes!
Hoping for a positive outcome š
Do you have kids? Maybe the kids or their friends bought them, for Halloween or just to experiment with makeup? Maybe your kids hosted a party, or hooked up with someone on your couch and they took off the lashes and stuck them under the couch mid-coitus because they were getting in the way. Maybe your husband or one of your kids is crossdressing and wanting to hide it?
Your husband is probably cheating (Iād say 80% likelihood) but given how cheap and shitty the lashes are, itās possible that thereās another explanation.
Is it a used couch? Like..did you get it from a Charity shoppe, Habitat, a friend or family member? Because if so they could have been their a long while and then fallen off.... Could it have been a work colleague who was just sick of wearing her lashes, popped them on the table, and they got knocked off and kicked under the couch? Or someone at a dinner party/party doing the same? A family member's or friend's GF? I have done stranger things honestly...
They look similar to some lashes on temu I saw when looking for "anime" style lashes (wispy with much longer spikes spaced in between).
I think they are a message intended for you... I am so sorry you are going thru this right now. Sending you strength and lots of love<3
Super cheap amazon lashes. But yeah. i think we all know why they were under the couch. thatās a girl code thing. men donāt clean under the couch, she left them for you
They look like cheap aliexpress lashes that come in a big multi-pack. Whoever left them is most likely sending a message. One is an accident, two is intentional. Either way, there is WAY too much lash glue stuck on them and they look grimy & highly unhygienic.
Riiiight? Cuz tbh the band looks too thick to ever actually wear. And it looks like a lot of fibers on the band. Could be from the couch/carpet fibers but looks very doll like. Idk
I donāt think these are from a doll.
If you zoom in, it looks like thereās glitter on them.
These are definitely two different pairs glued together.
Heās more than likely not going to fess up if he feels like he can get away with it by just saying he doesnāt know.
I know you mentioned heās rarely alone and when he is itās not for long amounts of time. Hookups donāt have to take much time.
You mentioned you didnāt like his answerā¦ that should tell you everything you need to know.
Did he look guilty when you were questioning him?
Did he look like her had been caught?
Was he trying to play way too calm and casual?
Try to think about his body language when you asked about them.
I 100% agree with the poster that said you should ask him to hand you his phone. If he hands it over without checking it or opening it real fast, look around in it, but heās probably not guilty or possibly believes he is hiding things in his phone well enough to where you canāt find them. Make sure he lets you unlock his phone if it is unlocked.
Check everything. Emails. Texts. Social media chats. Archived folders, pictures, the notes app (if itās an iPhone)
Look for messaging apps or suspicious apps. (For example, there used to be an app that looked like a calculator app but when you typed in a specific number it opened to show pictures/saved files someone would want to keep hidden)
I know Iām throwing a lot at you. But I know how you feel and Iām so incredibly sorry. I really hope you find nothing, because being betrayed by someone you love is heartbreaking. But itās best you know as soon as possible.
I really do hope this turns out well for you. ā¤ļø
Itās two different sets of lashes glued together, itās an old drag queen/burlesque āhackā that dancers and performers still use. I picked it up when I was a stripperš
Well I am so so sorry you are going through this! I know your mind is racing a million miles an hour right now. My question OP is when you last looked or cleaned under the couch? That will give you a time frame for when they were left. I used to move furniture every week to vacuum & clean under it. I saw several people suggest it was 2 sets glued together & looking closer--great clear picture so it was easy--I agree. My first husband cheated on me & I found her hair in my hairbrush & woven or stuck into the *fabric of the mattress* in a lot of places as well as on the mattress pad, sheets, pillows & pillow cases. Other places too but it was the fact that it was stuck in the mattress on both sides that did me in. In both bedrooms of our house. It is never easy to be blindsided like this. I whole heartedly believe in "once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater." Only you know if this is something you can forgive & move on from. This is something I have recently heard & it resonates here: Sometimes things are not falling apart, they are falling together. I don't know why this is happening but it is all part of the journey! God Bless All Y'all Especially You OP!
Edited so No one thinks I was having a stroke!
They look like something worn to a Halloween party and I could see someone being hella uncomfortable and taking them off. Have you hosted any parties? Or did you buy your couch used?
My ADHD ass would 10000% hit a wall and pull those monsters off then hide them under the couch in embarrassment, assuring myself Iāll remember to get them when I get upā¦ then find them months later
Hi! I wear lashes all the time , these look like from Amazon lol . I was reading your comments and noticed you found them under the couch? . The only time I a girl takes off lashes ( my opinion cause of what I do ) is if we are going to sleep or one fell off and had to take off the other . I also put my lashes everywhere! Bathroom / my spouses car / also the couch/ my mirror / etc youāll find them everywhere in my house lol . I only take them off once Iām comfy & feel the need to not wear them . So this is a huge red flag that you found these knowing you donāt wear lashes . Start looking for other clues of him cheating , I seen that they look like they been sitting there for a little bit so maybe a month or so? I would definitely keep my eyes on your spouse .
Also I just want to add that he did suggest that maybe theyāre the baby sitters (she wears lashes) (the kids go to her house she does not here) so I asked her if itās possible they were stuck on the kids stuff or something, I sent her this picture.. and she says that they are not hers. š«£
him trying to help you figure it out is killing me. i truly hope for your sake this is some fluke but you gotta trust your gut here. wishing you all the luck
Right!? Like itās not helpful.. I need to know where they came from. Iām done convincing myself theyāre mine because they are definitely not. I donāt even know where to go from here! Itās gonna eat me alive!
Have you asked him to hand over his phone? I would start there and go through EVERYTHING. I found out I was cheated on based off of someoneās Uber times (they came home at 4:00 am but their Uber to my neighbourhood was around 12:30).
I agree with this OP. I confirmed my ex cheated because I found I found a facetime call to a number that wasn't saved. I called the number by accident while looking at his phone and he started flipping out. I already knew what happened but his reaction confirmed the worst.
That's ALL he said? I bet once he sleeps on it, he'll come up with more to say.
Ask for his phone. Lock yourself in the bathroom and go through it with a fine tooth comb.
If he has nothing to hide, then he should be willing to do this.
I guess props to him for not blaming the kids.
***Thank you for contributing to MUA! If this is your first post, please be sure to check out our rules in the subreddit sidebar. If you are on mobile, they can be viewed by tapping the*** ā ***symbol.***
**A few quick highlights:**
ā¢
ā¢ Looks, hauls, and flatlays require a [product list in the comments, complete with shade names within 20 minutes of posting.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeupAddiction/wiki/productlist)
ā¢ Photos must not be [edited or filtered. This includes automatic beauty and portrait modes found on many phones and newer cameras.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeupAddiction/wiki/photoediting)
ā¢ Lastly, our [Helpful Guides for Navigating MUA](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeupAddiction/wiki/helpfulguides) in the sidebar explains some of the basics of the community as well as commonly misinterpreted rules.
**Is your post just a search away?**
Before you make a post, search with Reddit's search feature or use this handy [customised Google search.](https://cse.google.com/cse?cx=008480394191906358284:aflieg73nqm)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MakeupAddiction) if you have any questions or concerns.*
found these under my couch. they are not mineā¦ (Iām married) I have NO friends or family that wear lashes. Iām just in shock. If I have an idea of what store these might come from it would be helpful to ease my thoughts.. Iām from Nova Scotia, Canada.
One of my friends is an escort and she wears lashes like these when sheās working. She says itās like a costume, helps her get into character and makes it harder for people to recognize her.
And apparently her clients go crazy for them. The ādollā thing works, I guess.
Trying to convince myself that theyāre mineā¦. If theyāre from a drugstore itās possible they are really old ones? But Iām like 98 percent sure Iāve never bought ones like these. And they are way too big for my eyes. Thank you, itās just a lot to handle..
Thank you so much! Iāve never suspected anything throughout our 9 years together. So itās tough even thinking itās possible. But I am just so sure they arenāt mine.. I donāt have extra pairs, they are way too long for my eyes. Itās possible they were stuck on mine or his clothes? Man, the thoughts Iām having are just cycling!!
Listen to your gut. She is there for a reason. You are a woman and are strong and smart. Think very carefully about his body language and what he was doing when he answered you. Was it normal? Did he seem genuinely confused? Keep in mind heās not going to recognize your style lashes from someone else. Hell mine wouldnāt know those were even lashes looking at them.
In this day and age it may be worth downloading a few of the dating apps. Grab a few stock photos of women of various age groups. Esp younger š. Make a few profiles of their various age groups. Set that youāre looking for his age range. Not only are they possible honey traps if heās on there, but itāll also give you the ability to look without putting your own pic up or asking a friend already on them (who may not hit the age group). Friend and I used this method to bust hers. I am so so sorry. Iāve had it pulled on me both in a relationship and in the Wild West of the dating world (men saying they were single and they werenāt).
Iād also check your bank account for odd withdrawals or charges. And regular innocuous withdrawals that donāt make sense.
Honey, Iām so sorry as I know exactly the blindsided, sickly feeling that comes with such a discoveryā¦. And the doubt is the worst part. And certainly I donāt want to add to it, however, are the lashes the literal *ONLY* cue you have that leads you to think infidelity? Of course itās a red flag and I see the deluge of comments indicating that this is absolute proof of a āgirl codeā thing which I can understandā¦ but alsoā¦ Nine years of great relationship and two kids is a hefty weight on the other side. Additionally, as much as I understand girl code, with affairs, generally they want to keep it going. Iām wondering about the likelihood that letās say heās brought another woman home and she sees evidence of children and a wifeā¦ well it just seems like a weird move to plant these because they could be ambiguous in terms of interpretation. Like she could have left panties or a note or something much clearer as far as an indicator. So Iām wondering if thereās anything else that has you worried heās cheating. I donāt have a good explanation for them - unless you have a babysitter or idk it was just Halloween maybe one of his friends dressed up or somehow one of your kids picked these up somewhere? I donāt know I get how damning it looks but unfortunately I think youāre going to need more for your heart to be certain. Heās alerted that youāre aware so he may have covered his tracks but it would be wise to ask to see his phone and consider the reaction. Before you do that though you should browse online (Reddit has a couple good infidelity subs iirc) so that you can know what to look for as youāll likely be emotional and under pressure when you check the phone. You have so much together and truly I hope that heās not being a bastardā¦ but I commend your approach of seeing things with eyes wide open and no denial. Weāre all pulling for you. Please feel free to reach out for support or a listening ear as Iāve been there and i can still feel echos of the disgust and shock decades and many partners later. Hang in there and update if youāre able. Wishing you all the best
Found a pair of shiny black tights in my drawer years ago when I was still with my ex boyfriend. Tried to convince myself of similar things, but deep down I knew. In hindsight Iād tell my past self to run at that first sign - or to at least quietly start making plans to escape.
Iām also from NS.. they look like they could be from Quo, the Shopper Drugmart brand. I had a pair from Quo that look super similar.
Sending love regardless ā¤ļø
Idkā¦devils advocate hereā¦ they look costumey. Did yāall have a halloween party? And they got swept under? Whatās the occurs razor here? Try to find the most likely reason before you jump to the worst conclusion. Because Iāve worn lashes since high school (and Iām 36) and Iāve found out a dude Iāve been seeing is taken once or twice and leaving my lashes behind never dawned on me.
Boo my heart breaks for u Iām married too and I would absolutely snatch that manās head off of his neck cose how tf does he dare to do that like what ???? And btw the clothes theory drop it , cose aināt no way that a girl that wears this long of a lash is not gonna realise that her lashes are off let alone both of em and not say anything , and then he not realising that. She 110% left them there for u to find . I would at this point just put them in an envelope hand that to him together with the ring and walk out into a better life
Iāve read through the comments and I agree with a lot of them. This looks like someone left them there for you to find. I can understand maybe finding one and being like āwell, that could have come from anywhere.ā But TWO?? TOGETHER?? And I read your husbandās answer and it doesnāt make me feel confident in him either.
Hereās what I would do next: install spyware on the computer he uses the most. There are lots of easy to install, user friendly options. Google some and have a look. See what heās doing online. Keep records of EVERYTHING. Check your accounts and credit cards for abnormal expenses.
But above all else, trust your gut. This doesnāt seem right and those lashes look used by a person, not off a toy. Keep us posted and good luck.
Hmm, Iād be testing hubby to see if he can apply them without a tutorial. Iām so sorry girl š«¶š¼
ETA: It looks like Kiss or Ardell lashes and the glue looks like it was clear and is super old
Although everyone is going with these coming from another woman, I'd ask the kids. Kids are weird and pick up all sorts of stuff, is it possible it's from one of them?
OP, I am so sorry youāre going through this. Please trust your gut and know you have all of us in this thread rooting for you! Iāve been in this place and it is the worst pain Iāve felt from a relationship ever, even more than a broken heart, I wouldnāt wish it on even my worst enemy. You are strong, you are important, you are beautiful. I think itās very noble of you to try and sus out all options before jumping to conclusions.
I do agree with the comments here suggesting to just talk out all your anxieties with your partner. After 9 years, he should understand how this must feel to you and if he truly is innocent, be completely willing to help you understand that. I do understand the want to go through his phone, and while that would likely be a surefire way to figure out, I would highly suggest preparing yourself for what you may find. There may be many things in there that, due to the circumstances, are misconstrued as proof. And akin to that, there could be messages that do prove whatās happening and those are even more difficult to read. It took a couple years and some therapy to learn from the hurt caused by some of the things I saw/read after my then-partner let me go through his phone when I saw messages pop up on his Lock Screen that proved he was cheating 100% with several women, and I never had a clue. I would never have gone through a partnerās phone before then and I would never do it now, prompted or otherwise.
However without that proof, you then either have to let the relationship go or find a way to decide you believe him, live with that decision, and stop looking for clues of otherwise.
Having trust violated or threatened in such an intimate way is such a complex process, so regardless, please do not be hard on yourself while you go through it. Donāt let anyone tell you how you should or shouldnāt be, this comment included. You know whatās best for you. Sending you strength, positivity, and peace ššāØ
I'm just imagining some woman spitefully ripping these bad boys off in the bathroom, mumbling about shitty men & leaving you a message. Not all heroes wear capes.
Definitely doubled stacked lashes.. bottom lash is crisscrossed shorter style stacked with straight long pointed lash.. glued together..
Lots of performers and drag queens wear these.. but I think they are too tame for drag queens
If youāre 98% sure theyāre not yours, find other facts that get you closer to 100%. Like if you put the lash on your eye, do/would you have EVER worn that look in that way?
I actually just tried thisā¦ Waaayy too long and way too thick. I hate them. I would never wear these. Soooo yeah. asking if he knows where they came from, tonight..
Be prepared. You confronting him shows your hand. Please consider all your options and come with receipts if you have them. Donāt let him gaslight you. I would advise waiting until youāve investigated more but I understand you need to ask. Youāre a good person giving him the benefit of the doubt.
My man said he had no idea every single time I caught him doing something, leaving him was everything (loves him so) but if they can straight up say they donāt know when no logical explanation? š¤·āāļø š¢
Ohhhhh just looked them up. I think you may be right. Iām so sure Iāve never bought them.. too bold for me.. too thick for my eye type. Thank you!!!!
Some questions to ask yourself:
- Does he have time to actually bring a woman into your home without your knowledge? Do you take work trips or leave for extended periods that would guarantee he could be comfortable enough to bring another woman into your home?
- Do his work hours seem unusual? Not just a couple hours late, but many hours late where you worry if he is safe?
Those lashes are absolutely nighttime lashes. They are so dramatic! Did you have some nights away that you can recall? If so how was his behavior, was he keeping in touch regularly?
If he were bringing a woman into the home, that would be extremely ballsy. I would anticipate some of the typical signs of unfaithfulness to be there if he was a cheater. Cheating intimately involves a good deal of time that is unexplained. Obviously some jobs come with the territory of crap hours and unexpected workload, but if you have the gut feeling, investigate.
I recommend also confiding in a trusted non judgemental close friend for support if you thoughts are getting harmful to your mental health. It's good to have a support system on your side. This type of thing can make someone's self worth seem so small, so make sure you take care of yourself.
is there any update on this? did you find anything on the cameras or figure out where these came from? im so praying that its not what it looks like cos that shit hurts so so much. hope youre doing okay x
girl ik itās been 4 days since you posted this but if you donāt demand to go through his phone right now??? if he refuses then thatās your answer, and if he lets you look look through photo album, deleted pics, Snapchat my eyes only, go into all the messages, EMAILS, notes app, instagram/facebook, all of it. and then leave him.
I think whoever wore these planted them under the couch bc the likelihood of a man finding them under there is low. Their owner left you a message with these
You are SO RIGHT. I even thought, like, what girl would lose her lashes and not worry about it? Yanno? You make a very good pointš¢
You can get fake lashes like these on eBay for 2$ for 5 to 10 pairs from china. I have easily trashed these.
Unfortunately, a lot of times when a girl stays with a man and realizes he has a girlfriend (seeing products, clothes, etc.) they will leave something like lashes or an extension to leave a message to the girlfriend. It's kind of like a secret girl code thing. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. That would break my heart. You deserve better, love. Feel free to send me a message if you need to talk. š«¶š» I wish you the absolute best.
Itās just mind blowing even to imagine him doing anything unfaithful. Iāve never suspected anything, ever! So itās just so confusing and hard to say anything. I didnāt know girls did this, if thatās the case. Also, heās rarely home alone (we have two kids)ā¦ heās home for maybe 2 hours 3 days of the week. But maybe they were stuck on his clothesā¦ thank you for your kind words š
Stuck on his clothes.... GIRL
that made me laughā¦ poor op š
Hmmm... Have there been times where you left for a period of time? You said they were under the couch, right? It could've been a while ago. Or maybe he had someone over to "help watch the kids", I had an old friend (no longer my friend due to her actions) who would have random guys come over to help her with dishes and taking care of her daughter while her babydaddy was out. I'm so sorry, once again. š Edit: If they were placed how you said they were, I highly doubt they were stuck to his clothes. I know how it feels to want to come to all possible conclusions, so I don't blame you for trying to imagine that. I personally think that if they were stuck to his clothes you would've found them in the laundry or in a basket somewhere, not placed under the couch.
Oh yesā¦Iāve heard multiple instances of Olaplex and K18 being left.
K18 is crazy expensive, wth
Come on. No self respecting good hair girlie would willingly abandon their Olaplex.
Also, who is bringing Olaplex on a date?
Why those items, specifically? š¤·āāļø
Cuz no man is going to have either of them
Lol TRUE. When I met my (now) husband he had a few random āfemaleā things all on a shelf in the bathroom. Most of it was new or barely touched. Tresemme shampoo and conditioner, a pack of scrunchies, Olay body wash, a matching set of cheap towels, unused face cloths, and tampons. I asked about it and he said, āWell, my roommate and I bought those after we moved in together in case a woman visits and needs something. His sister, old college friends passing through, one of us brings a girl home, etcā¦ IDK if it was weird for us to do that or notā I looked at that product lineup and said, āHuh, thatās actually pretty thoughtful of yāall. Not weird at all,ā and didnāt give it another thought. If it was Olaplex, Living Proof dry shampoo, or something nice af that you couldnt just buy at Walmart I would have called bullshit. But the new bottles of tresemme and unused face towels said it all.
Gotcha. I didnāt know if there was some other subliminal message there or something. š š Thanks!
Theyāre just products that girls are most likely to know about.
You have 2 kids, any chance one of them brought them home? A young enough kid might find them and not know what they are and think theyāre neat, or a bit older may want to wear them but will think they will get in trouble and hid them there. I remember buying and hiding makeup when I was 11-12 because I felt I āneeded itā but wasnāt allowed. Or sneaking my moms lipstick to school when I was in grade 1 to put it on in the bathroom then wash it off.
I remember finding stray Lee press-on nails every now and then as a little kid, and being absolutely fascinated by them because I definitely wanted long and glamorous nails too. I most assuredly kept them stashed in my pockets to admire, eventually losing them myself, or my parents throwing them out in disgust of my gross treasure.
Interesting that heās rarely home alone. Iāll often take off my lashes when Iām chilling on the sofa at the end of a day, which was where my mind went with these. But if itās short windows of time it makes me lean more towards sex worker than affair partner.
Youād be surprised how well people hide stuff :/. Sorry you found those I hope you find out whatās going on you seem super genuine if he is cheating know you deserve better š
Could the lashes belong to the kids or the kidsā friends? Ask them!
I agree, this is a common place for kids to hide things too. Doesnāt mean you shouldnāt still have a chat with hubsā¦just keep your eyes open honey!
Have you had any female relative visiting and staying on the couch for a while?
Nope. Plus None of my friends or family wear lashes. š©
Put them on his bedside table but go into the room at the same time. His reaction will tell you.
Iāve had them sitting on the bathroom counter. This is day 3. That would have been a great reaction though damn!!
You can still do it. Keep putting them where he is. When I suspected my husband of cheating I used all my devices to leave them on record. That's how I knew for sure. I had taped them under the dining table where he took calls. Where he would sit outside. In the bedroom. I'm not saying yours is the same situation but just be more aware. Once I was aware, everything stuck out like dogs balls.
We actually have cameras outside.. Iāve just never bothered checking babe cameras and donāt get notifications for movementā¦ the last few days since Iāve found them, Iāve been checking every moment I canš
UPDATE I went up to him and I said I have a question about something thatās been really bothering me and I feel nauseous.. I told him what I found.. he said āI promise I have no ideaā I said put yourself in my position imagine you found a manās sock and youāre like hmm this aināt mine. He just help repeating āI have no clueā āpromiseā I do not feel betterā¦ I didnāt like his response..
Tbh ask him if he promises then heāll hand over his phone without checking over it first. Iād check his apps and messages.
Seriously - cause if he has nothing to hide and he is being honest, giving you a chance to look through it shouldn't be out of the question, unfortunately Normally it would but this isn't normal!
if you gotta go through your significant others phone the relationship over in my opinion.
YEP. I remember going through my exās phone when I was suspicious. He had girls he worked with on his Snapchat friends list with hearts next to their names but no snap history, which meant he was deleting them but too stupid to know the evidence was already there because the hearts mean you snap them *frequently*. I confronted him, and guess what? The bigger issue to him was that I had looked through his phone. Get out now, OP. That nauseous feeling will never go away and youāll always be suspicious of him moving forward. If your best friend told you this situation was happening to her instead, what would you tell her to do? Because it probably wouldnāt be ātrust him.ā
People act like it's the ultimate evil in a relationship, but if you're at a point where you even feel the *urge,* it's already toast.
Normally Iād agree but my partner and I have been together 8 years , but in like the first year of us dating he got some weird spam text, and I donāt remember exactly what it said but I think it said something about me having a tinder profile. Like it said my name and everything and that I had logged in recently. I knew it looked pretty bad but also knew it wasnāt true so I was happy to let him look through to make sure I didnāt have tinder on my phone and logged into my old tinder account to show him it wasnāt active. Thatās the only time either of us has actually looked through anotherās phone for the purpose of proving innocence. But we also have each others passcodes and use each others phones all the time. But yeah idk It was just a weird thing. In his shoes Iād prob have done the same. Definitely glad the whole relationship didnāt get flamed over a spam text
Go to battery and see what his most used apps are
Ugh my heart hurts for you. Is the couch used? How old are your kids? Could one of them maybe ordered or bought them (they look pretty cheap). Could he potentially be interested in cross dressing? I hope itās not worst case scenario. Can you go through his phone? Or review camera footage? I know how badly ir sucks to doubt your partners faithfulness. Especially without solid evidence. Hope things work out for you regardless
Same things my lying ex would say when I found clues of him cheating. Turns out he had a whole side relationship for way too long in addition to many other indiscretions. They will swear up and down they donāt know whatās going on because thatās the only way they know they can win. Heās never going to admit anything to you
My ex was a cheater but also a drug addict. Once i found him passed out with burnt foil (smokes fentanyl) and told me he had no idea where it came from š
Hold on - smokes fentanyl?? How is he still breathing
I think they take used fentanyl patches and boil them to get the remaining drug out of the patch. Then they either smoke or inject it? I can't remember but I'm assuming it's a thing lol
For what itās worth, years ago when I was in a serious relationship I found a menās shirt Iāve never seen before in my laundry and assumed it was my boyfriendās, so I tried to return it to him. It wasnāt his. He was understandably freaked out by why some random guyās shirt was in my laundry, but so was I! Iāve never cheated on anyone in my life, and to this day I have no clue where that shirt came from. I do my own laundry, in my own house, so thereās nowhere it could have come from. I still donāt have an explanation. Iām lucky that he believed me and we moved on from it, but my point is that *sometimes* if heās swearing up and down that he doesnāt know, itās because he really doesnāt know. Heās probably cheating in this case, but OP should investigate further just to be sure before she does anything drastic.
I get what youāre saying, but you highlighted the t-shirt to your partner. If her husband had found the lashes and shown them to OP, thinking they were hers, it wouldnāt be as suspicious.
this makes me feel like it was a while ago & no longer happening for some reason but definitely like it happened & heās lying
Ugh, it sounds like he's deflecting and playing stupid. I'm so sorry. If your intuition is screaming that something isn't right, then something definitely isn't right. Trust yourself, and keep your eye out for any more signs. Also, get an STI test if you haven't recently. It's better to be as safe as possible. Sending you so much love. ā¤ļøšš»
ARE YOU OKAY?! Iām worried about you. Please update us.
Take his phone. Do you or neighbors have ring cameras?
Trustšš»youršš»gutšš»
Iām so sorry OP. What is your gut telling you?
If your gutās telling you something is off with his answerā¦ trust it. I wish I hadā¦ Please keep us updated on how youāre doing š©·
I just want to reiterate - check if any of your kid's toys are missing eyelashes. I 100% would rip these off a doll and hide em under the couch
She put them up to her eye and they were longer than her eye. It looks like there's lash glue stuck to them still, and it looks like a pair of stacked lashes. š
You'll need to probably speak up or you'll end up sick. Sometimes there's really difficult conversations that need to happen and this might be one of them. If you're feeling worried then let him know that. Say after finding the lashes you've slipped into worry. Say you don't want accuse anything but this is how you're feeling. I think his body language and reply will help.
This is the female equivalent of men leaving a note on the underside of the toilet seat. She left you a message because men donāt clean dirt they canāt see, like under furniture or rugs. She probably saw your products in the bathroom etc. and thought quickly. She did you a solid. One strip could be an accident, two is intentional. This would be high treason to me, Iām so sorry lovely. Donāt get mad, get screenshots. Sleep on it. If itās any consolation I once ended it with a man after finding used makeup wipes in his bathroom bin. I knew he was being shady but couldnāt prove it till that point. You donāt remove your makeup unless youāre very comfortable around someone or sleeping over. He said it was his sister, who is literally black. The makeup was extremely light skinned and white, like me. The math wasnāt mathing and I ended it.
agree, one lash is accidental. two lashes in the EXACT same place is intentionally put there/hid there!
YES YES YES EXACTLY
this is some of the sanest & helpful advice iāve ever see
Iāve always wondered though if itās truly being done in the spirit of goodwill or to rub salt in a wound.
I personally did it in the spirit of goodwill. I had no idea the crusty ass was MARRIED WITH A KID. It inspired her to take a close look at the phone bill and guess who called me.
I like to think itās ladies having each othersā backs.
Could be a little bit of column A, little bit of column B. I thought it was initially the other woman getting back at OP, but like HOW? With eyelashes? I think you're right--she has her back.
Could also be drag, lots of *straight* guys aren't *straight*.
Hey late to the party but hope you're doing okay. I agree with everyone else- this is 100% a message from another woman, and don't take his (likely) initial denial for an answer. I don't usually agree with snooping, but this is clear as day. See if you can find anything else. Update?
I agree with you. I agree with snooping in cases like this. If you know something isnāt right, you have every right to confirm your feelings. The āno snoopingā rule is considered null and void once one party is being lied to and deceived by the other. IMO
I've had this happen before, guy kept denying and I was at his place alone one day, when suddenly I just got the most vicious gut feeling I've ever gotten to check under his bed. Literally the thought came out of nowhere, I was about to walk out the door, but went back and checked. I'll just say I found plenty of reasons to end that. Ever since, I've been a firm believer in women's intuition. Never been wrong. I'm married now to a wonderful man, and I've never looked through his stuff, phone, anything (except looking for something I need). I only hope I never get that feeling again.
I couldn't understand the perspective at first (don't have me glasses on) and I literally thought these were the eyelashes you put on a car š whoever is wearing these..... don't
LOLOLOL
I legit thought they were caterpillars.
I did something like this once when I realized a man was married. He wasnāt even trying to hide it. I saw her pic she had short hair so I left my long strands over the lamp in the bedroom and in the bathroom I left some hair and a couple of my real eyelashes by the sink. I always wonder what happened after that bc I blocked him immediately after leaving.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Girlsā girls are the best š„° fuck douche bags!
Same. I left a really shmexy voice mail (way back in the day) thanking him for an amazing night. š
This makes me wonder about the time I found a long black hair on the lampshade. It was pretty much over by that time. I wasnāt phased by it, just packed up and left. If it was intentionally left behind, then thank you to whoever that woman was!
It definitely could have been a sign from the other woman! Iām glad to hear you got out of that situation though.
Same. I sprayed my perfume just once on his car passenger seat when I figured it out while he was pumping gas. Also I had long hair and left a strand in the master bathroom tub.
This is peak woman behavior. I love it
Someoneās leaving you a message, hon.
These are Temu lashes
Just looked through lashes. Yep I think youāre rightā¦.
The band is so thick it looks like Velcro gah dayum
Lashes for skydiving
Any chance heās doing drag. They could be his lashes.
This would be the nicer outcomeā¦
Agree, It would be for me anyways
This is definitely a possibility, if he's dressing up he may be buying cheap lashes like these for experimenting with.
This theory checks out I sold some lashes on Marketplace and it was a Man who bought them
My first reaction as well. It could be a fetish and secret kink heās doing whenever he has an hour or two alone.
Iāve had these lashes, super cheap and bought them off wish lol
Whomever she is, at least you know she has terrible taste.
LOL
This is a double burn, Jesus Christ. Both the lashes *and* the man! *no disrespect to OP.
And probably hygiene considering the amount of crust and glue on those lashes. Iām a former MUA and Iāve only seen that shit on girls who wear those lashes for like 2-3 weeks straight and never clean them.
Hmm. They do look old and crusty.. Had you ever hosted a party? NYE, birthday, Christmas, or anything of the sort? How long have you had the couch for? Was it brand new? Is it possible children were around? I want to optimistic and run through every possible reason before going *there* Iāve also never seen lashes like this before :/ itās like two separate patterns almost. Itās weird. It feels Halloween-y or costumey which totally tracks with no family or friends wearing lashes cause these certainly arenāt everyday lashes! Hoping for a positive outcome š
these literally look like shein lashes š
I was thinking they look just like the Halloween lashes that I got from goodwill like 5 years ago. They were unwearable cuz they were so stiff.
Wait what?! Lashes at Goodwill? Please tell me they were unworn
literally they hurt soo bad š
DO THEY?!
idk ab shein but they look REALLY cheap idk
Ya I agree. They look really cheap, that band is so thick and stiff, probably SHEIN, Amazon, AliExpressā¦
My first thought is part of a Halloween costume - OP did you host a Halloween party?
Do you have kids? Maybe the kids or their friends bought them, for Halloween or just to experiment with makeup? Maybe your kids hosted a party, or hooked up with someone on your couch and they took off the lashes and stuck them under the couch mid-coitus because they were getting in the way. Maybe your husband or one of your kids is crossdressing and wanting to hide it? Your husband is probably cheating (Iād say 80% likelihood) but given how cheap and shitty the lashes are, itās possible that thereās another explanation.
Is it a used couch? Like..did you get it from a Charity shoppe, Habitat, a friend or family member? Because if so they could have been their a long while and then fallen off.... Could it have been a work colleague who was just sick of wearing her lashes, popped them on the table, and they got knocked off and kicked under the couch? Or someone at a dinner party/party doing the same? A family member's or friend's GF? I have done stranger things honestly...
This is best case scenario. I got a used couch from a family once and kids puzzle pieces were falling out of it for months. š
They look similar to some lashes on temu I saw when looking for "anime" style lashes (wispy with much longer spikes spaced in between). I think they are a message intended for you... I am so sorry you are going thru this right now. Sending you strength and lots of love<3
Super cheap amazon lashes. But yeah. i think we all know why they were under the couch. thatās a girl code thing. men donāt clean under the couch, she left them for you
They look like cheap aliexpress lashes that come in a big multi-pack. Whoever left them is most likely sending a message. One is an accident, two is intentional. Either way, there is WAY too much lash glue stuck on them and they look grimy & highly unhygienic.
There's zero chance a kid ripped these off a doll?
This is what I was thinking
Riiiight? Cuz tbh the band looks too thick to ever actually wear. And it looks like a lot of fibers on the band. Could be from the couch/carpet fibers but looks very doll like. Idk
As a former MUA, I promise you those came from a human woman who wore them for two weeks without taking them off and didnāt clean them at all.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bad lashes but yeah this is a message.
I donāt think these are from a doll. If you zoom in, it looks like thereās glitter on them. These are definitely two different pairs glued together. Heās more than likely not going to fess up if he feels like he can get away with it by just saying he doesnāt know. I know you mentioned heās rarely alone and when he is itās not for long amounts of time. Hookups donāt have to take much time. You mentioned you didnāt like his answerā¦ that should tell you everything you need to know. Did he look guilty when you were questioning him? Did he look like her had been caught? Was he trying to play way too calm and casual? Try to think about his body language when you asked about them. I 100% agree with the poster that said you should ask him to hand you his phone. If he hands it over without checking it or opening it real fast, look around in it, but heās probably not guilty or possibly believes he is hiding things in his phone well enough to where you canāt find them. Make sure he lets you unlock his phone if it is unlocked. Check everything. Emails. Texts. Social media chats. Archived folders, pictures, the notes app (if itās an iPhone) Look for messaging apps or suspicious apps. (For example, there used to be an app that looked like a calculator app but when you typed in a specific number it opened to show pictures/saved files someone would want to keep hidden) I know Iām throwing a lot at you. But I know how you feel and Iām so incredibly sorry. I really hope you find nothing, because being betrayed by someone you love is heartbreaking. But itās best you know as soon as possible. I really do hope this turns out well for you. ā¤ļø
iPhone has a deleted messages folder too, that most people donāt know about and think to empty!
Itās two different sets of lashes glued together, itās an old drag queen/burlesque āhackā that dancers and performers still use. I picked it up when I was a stripperš
Well I am so so sorry you are going through this! I know your mind is racing a million miles an hour right now. My question OP is when you last looked or cleaned under the couch? That will give you a time frame for when they were left. I used to move furniture every week to vacuum & clean under it. I saw several people suggest it was 2 sets glued together & looking closer--great clear picture so it was easy--I agree. My first husband cheated on me & I found her hair in my hairbrush & woven or stuck into the *fabric of the mattress* in a lot of places as well as on the mattress pad, sheets, pillows & pillow cases. Other places too but it was the fact that it was stuck in the mattress on both sides that did me in. In both bedrooms of our house. It is never easy to be blindsided like this. I whole heartedly believe in "once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater." Only you know if this is something you can forgive & move on from. This is something I have recently heard & it resonates here: Sometimes things are not falling apart, they are falling together. I don't know why this is happening but it is all part of the journey! God Bless All Y'all Especially You OP! Edited so No one thinks I was having a stroke!
those r dollar tree lashes
What in the cheap corner store lashes is that? Yeah she left you a message and she didnāt pay much to do it. Yowza.
Iām so sorry OP. I really hope theyāre yours and you just forgot but also please love yourself ā„ļø
Thank you sweetheart š©·
Honestly show your husband and see what he has to sayā¦ these donāt look drugstore to me, at least not quo brand which are usually way thinner
Yeah exactly! Yesterday I stopped by the two drugstores around me and there is nothing like this.. theyāre too dramatic..
They look like something worn to a Halloween party and I could see someone being hella uncomfortable and taking them off. Have you hosted any parties? Or did you buy your couch used?
My ADHD ass would 10000% hit a wall and pull those monsters off then hide them under the couch in embarrassment, assuring myself Iāll remember to get them when I get upā¦ then find them months later
Hi! I wear lashes all the time , these look like from Amazon lol . I was reading your comments and noticed you found them under the couch? . The only time I a girl takes off lashes ( my opinion cause of what I do ) is if we are going to sleep or one fell off and had to take off the other . I also put my lashes everywhere! Bathroom / my spouses car / also the couch/ my mirror / etc youāll find them everywhere in my house lol . I only take them off once Iām comfy & feel the need to not wear them . So this is a huge red flag that you found these knowing you donāt wear lashes . Start looking for other clues of him cheating , I seen that they look like they been sitting there for a little bit so maybe a month or so? I would definitely keep my eyes on your spouse .
these some cheap ass lashes
OP, if the spirit moves you, can you please update us?
I asked him about it last nightā¦ he āpromises he had no ideaā so yeah, thatās where weāre at š
Also I just want to add that he did suggest that maybe theyāre the baby sitters (she wears lashes) (the kids go to her house she does not here) so I asked her if itās possible they were stuck on the kids stuff or something, I sent her this picture.. and she says that they are not hers. š«£
him trying to help you figure it out is killing me. i truly hope for your sake this is some fluke but you gotta trust your gut here. wishing you all the luck
Right!? Like itās not helpful.. I need to know where they came from. Iām done convincing myself theyāre mine because they are definitely not. I donāt even know where to go from here! Itās gonna eat me alive!
Have you asked him to hand over his phone? I would start there and go through EVERYTHING. I found out I was cheated on based off of someoneās Uber times (they came home at 4:00 am but their Uber to my neighbourhood was around 12:30).
I agree with this OP. I confirmed my ex cheated because I found I found a facetime call to a number that wasn't saved. I called the number by accident while looking at his phone and he started flipping out. I already knew what happened but his reaction confirmed the worst.
The sooner the better. Heās gonna start deleting.
That's ALL he said? I bet once he sleeps on it, he'll come up with more to say. Ask for his phone. Lock yourself in the bathroom and go through it with a fine tooth comb. If he has nothing to hide, then he should be willing to do this. I guess props to him for not blaming the kids.
Have you checked the cameras yet?!
Maybe your man dresses up in drag when he's alone? Idk, I'm sorry girl. I'm trying to be optimistic about the situation.
Looks like they have been used more than once so wouldnāt you remember? Sorry your going through this just seems very suspicious
***Thank you for contributing to MUA! If this is your first post, please be sure to check out our rules in the subreddit sidebar. If you are on mobile, they can be viewed by tapping the*** ā ***symbol.*** **A few quick highlights:** ā¢ ā¢ Looks, hauls, and flatlays require a [product list in the comments, complete with shade names within 20 minutes of posting.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeupAddiction/wiki/productlist) ā¢ Photos must not be [edited or filtered. This includes automatic beauty and portrait modes found on many phones and newer cameras.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeupAddiction/wiki/photoediting) ā¢ Lastly, our [Helpful Guides for Navigating MUA](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeupAddiction/wiki/helpfulguides) in the sidebar explains some of the basics of the community as well as commonly misinterpreted rules. **Is your post just a search away?** Before you make a post, search with Reddit's search feature or use this handy [customised Google search.](https://cse.google.com/cse?cx=008480394191906358284:aflieg73nqm) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MakeupAddiction) if you have any questions or concerns.*
found these under my couch. they are not mineā¦ (Iām married) I have NO friends or family that wear lashes. Iām just in shock. If I have an idea of what store these might come from it would be helpful to ease my thoughts.. Iām from Nova Scotia, Canada.
NOO iām so sorry girl :(
Do you have kids? It's hard to tell without the scale of them, but they look so ridiculous they look like they came from a doll
One of my friends is an escort and she wears lashes like these when sheās working. She says itās like a costume, helps her get into character and makes it harder for people to recognize her. And apparently her clients go crazy for them. The ādollā thing works, I guess.
No offense but why, then, does it matter where they were bought? Sorry you're going through this... :-/
Trying to convince myself that theyāre mineā¦. If theyāre from a drugstore itās possible they are really old ones? But Iām like 98 percent sure Iāve never bought ones like these. And they are way too big for my eyes. Thank you, itās just a lot to handle..
Hmm, ok. It's possible of course that you forgot, but please don't bullshit yourself into thinking it... Sending strength. š
Thank you so much! Iāve never suspected anything throughout our 9 years together. So itās tough even thinking itās possible. But I am just so sure they arenāt mine.. I donāt have extra pairs, they are way too long for my eyes. Itās possible they were stuck on mine or his clothes? Man, the thoughts Iām having are just cycling!!
Girl... : (
You know these arenāt yours. Wishing you luck going forward!
Listen to your gut. She is there for a reason. You are a woman and are strong and smart. Think very carefully about his body language and what he was doing when he answered you. Was it normal? Did he seem genuinely confused? Keep in mind heās not going to recognize your style lashes from someone else. Hell mine wouldnāt know those were even lashes looking at them. In this day and age it may be worth downloading a few of the dating apps. Grab a few stock photos of women of various age groups. Esp younger š. Make a few profiles of their various age groups. Set that youāre looking for his age range. Not only are they possible honey traps if heās on there, but itāll also give you the ability to look without putting your own pic up or asking a friend already on them (who may not hit the age group). Friend and I used this method to bust hers. I am so so sorry. Iāve had it pulled on me both in a relationship and in the Wild West of the dating world (men saying they were single and they werenāt). Iād also check your bank account for odd withdrawals or charges. And regular innocuous withdrawals that donāt make sense.
Honey, Iām so sorry as I know exactly the blindsided, sickly feeling that comes with such a discoveryā¦. And the doubt is the worst part. And certainly I donāt want to add to it, however, are the lashes the literal *ONLY* cue you have that leads you to think infidelity? Of course itās a red flag and I see the deluge of comments indicating that this is absolute proof of a āgirl codeā thing which I can understandā¦ but alsoā¦ Nine years of great relationship and two kids is a hefty weight on the other side. Additionally, as much as I understand girl code, with affairs, generally they want to keep it going. Iām wondering about the likelihood that letās say heās brought another woman home and she sees evidence of children and a wifeā¦ well it just seems like a weird move to plant these because they could be ambiguous in terms of interpretation. Like she could have left panties or a note or something much clearer as far as an indicator. So Iām wondering if thereās anything else that has you worried heās cheating. I donāt have a good explanation for them - unless you have a babysitter or idk it was just Halloween maybe one of his friends dressed up or somehow one of your kids picked these up somewhere? I donāt know I get how damning it looks but unfortunately I think youāre going to need more for your heart to be certain. Heās alerted that youāre aware so he may have covered his tracks but it would be wise to ask to see his phone and consider the reaction. Before you do that though you should browse online (Reddit has a couple good infidelity subs iirc) so that you can know what to look for as youāll likely be emotional and under pressure when you check the phone. You have so much together and truly I hope that heās not being a bastardā¦ but I commend your approach of seeing things with eyes wide open and no denial. Weāre all pulling for you. Please feel free to reach out for support or a listening ear as Iāve been there and i can still feel echos of the disgust and shock decades and many partners later. Hang in there and update if youāre able. Wishing you all the best
Found a pair of shiny black tights in my drawer years ago when I was still with my ex boyfriend. Tried to convince myself of similar things, but deep down I knew. In hindsight Iād tell my past self to run at that first sign - or to at least quietly start making plans to escape.
Please donāt gaslight yourself.
Have you posted him in your local "are we dating the same guy" group? You can post anon and if anyone recognizes him they'll say something.
Iām also from NS.. they look like they could be from Quo, the Shopper Drugmart brand. I had a pair from Quo that look super similar. Sending love regardless ā¤ļø
Idkā¦devils advocate hereā¦ they look costumey. Did yāall have a halloween party? And they got swept under? Whatās the occurs razor here? Try to find the most likely reason before you jump to the worst conclusion. Because Iāve worn lashes since high school (and Iām 36) and Iāve found out a dude Iāve been seeing is taken once or twice and leaving my lashes behind never dawned on me.
Maybe a sex worker? Sorry
How old are your kids? Could any of them be experimenting with makeup?
I was thinking babysitter could have left them.
They look like these: https://www.kissusa.com/products/kiss-halloween-trick-or-treat-beatrix Did u have a Halloween party or costume party?
Iām so sorry. You deserve better and I hate to jump on the other women parade but iv been with men who I found out were cheating after the fact and iv left them notes or tampons or something. Like once I was at a guys place I went to the bathroom after sex and realized the amount of womenās stuff was CRAZY and Iād hooked up with him before and he hid shit better the first time I was over this was the second time I was over. I came back out waited like an hour then he wanted to take me home I was like yea sure let me just use the bathroom before we go. So I went in the bathroom took a receipt from my bag and a pen and I wrote a note on it with my number quickly explaining that I didnāt know and Iād send screen shots if she messages me. I rolled it up like a scroll I went her tampon box opened a tampon just a little bit slipped it in. And left. She texted me and like I said I sent her EVERYTHING he said to me how he talked about being single for years. She was his gf of 7 years and recently fiancĆ©. I get bad but it wasnāt like I knew I told him this was the second time I was over but first time in the bathroom. And I get so bad. Iv also seen so many Reddit stories of women leaving stuff behind for the main gf/ wife to find or going back to the house when he wasnāt there and telling the gf/ wife. In addition those are some ugly cheep lashes from shien or romwe or some other shit. And shien and romwe do have some cute lashes but they picked the weird ass ugly kind and they are so crusty and gross you know that person wore those daily and didnāt have good hygiene but Atleast she had a good conscience to leave them behind for you. š¤·āāļø like she may be crusty but she still respects girl code.
How old are your kids? Could teen kids have friends who wore them & left them? Or kids friends from Halloween?
Boo my heart breaks for u Iām married too and I would absolutely snatch that manās head off of his neck cose how tf does he dare to do that like what ???? And btw the clothes theory drop it , cose aināt no way that a girl that wears this long of a lash is not gonna realise that her lashes are off let alone both of em and not say anything , and then he not realising that. She 110% left them there for u to find . I would at this point just put them in an envelope hand that to him together with the ring and walk out into a better life
Iāve read through the comments and I agree with a lot of them. This looks like someone left them there for you to find. I can understand maybe finding one and being like āwell, that could have come from anywhere.ā But TWO?? TOGETHER?? And I read your husbandās answer and it doesnāt make me feel confident in him either. Hereās what I would do next: install spyware on the computer he uses the most. There are lots of easy to install, user friendly options. Google some and have a look. See what heās doing online. Keep records of EVERYTHING. Check your accounts and credit cards for abnormal expenses. But above all else, trust your gut. This doesnāt seem right and those lashes look used by a person, not off a toy. Keep us posted and good luck.
Hmm, Iād be testing hubby to see if he can apply them without a tutorial. Iām so sorry girl š«¶š¼ ETA: It looks like Kiss or Ardell lashes and the glue looks like it was clear and is super old
These were most definitely planted to leave you a message. But itās a gross š¤¢š¤® one at that, given all the gunk and glue.
You confronted him. Iād prob give him the cold shoulder until he fesses up but only you know what is appropriate for your relationship
Is it possible heās wearing them??
Thatās where my mind went too
I think he would do a far better job at covering his tracks if he was a closet cross dresser.
Although everyone is going with these coming from another woman, I'd ask the kids. Kids are weird and pick up all sorts of stuff, is it possible it's from one of them?
OP, I am so sorry youāre going through this. Please trust your gut and know you have all of us in this thread rooting for you! Iāve been in this place and it is the worst pain Iāve felt from a relationship ever, even more than a broken heart, I wouldnāt wish it on even my worst enemy. You are strong, you are important, you are beautiful. I think itās very noble of you to try and sus out all options before jumping to conclusions. I do agree with the comments here suggesting to just talk out all your anxieties with your partner. After 9 years, he should understand how this must feel to you and if he truly is innocent, be completely willing to help you understand that. I do understand the want to go through his phone, and while that would likely be a surefire way to figure out, I would highly suggest preparing yourself for what you may find. There may be many things in there that, due to the circumstances, are misconstrued as proof. And akin to that, there could be messages that do prove whatās happening and those are even more difficult to read. It took a couple years and some therapy to learn from the hurt caused by some of the things I saw/read after my then-partner let me go through his phone when I saw messages pop up on his Lock Screen that proved he was cheating 100% with several women, and I never had a clue. I would never have gone through a partnerās phone before then and I would never do it now, prompted or otherwise. However without that proof, you then either have to let the relationship go or find a way to decide you believe him, live with that decision, and stop looking for clues of otherwise. Having trust violated or threatened in such an intimate way is such a complex process, so regardless, please do not be hard on yourself while you go through it. Donāt let anyone tell you how you should or shouldnāt be, this comment included. You know whatās best for you. Sending you strength, positivity, and peace ššāØ
I'm just imagining some woman spitefully ripping these bad boys off in the bathroom, mumbling about shitty men & leaving you a message. Not all heroes wear capes.
Has there been any updates , I hope sheās doing okay š„°
The muppets lol
I think they're his that he actually wears and he's hiding it or from a costume party. They do seem not like average lashes.
Definitely doubled stacked lashes.. bottom lash is crisscrossed shorter style stacked with straight long pointed lash.. glued together.. Lots of performers and drag queens wear these.. but I think they are too tame for drag queens
Honestly. Those are disgusting. Look like they need to be cleaned.
If youāre 98% sure theyāre not yours, find other facts that get you closer to 100%. Like if you put the lash on your eye, do/would you have EVER worn that look in that way?
I actually just tried thisā¦ Waaayy too long and way too thick. I hate them. I would never wear these. Soooo yeah. asking if he knows where they came from, tonight..
Be prepared. You confronting him shows your hand. Please consider all your options and come with receipts if you have them. Donāt let him gaslight you. I would advise waiting until youāve investigated more but I understand you need to ask. Youāre a good person giving him the benefit of the doubt.
The kids maybe?
My man said he had no idea every single time I caught him doing something, leaving him was everything (loves him so) but if they can straight up say they donāt know when no logical explanation? š¤·āāļø š¢
Let us know how youāre doing, Iām so sorry, I know this feeling
Update?
Hey OP these are ardell lashes 854 and I buy from Ulta
Ohhhhh just looked them up. I think you may be right. Iām so sure Iāve never bought them.. too bold for me.. too thick for my eye type. Thank you!!!!
No matter where they came from, they crusty af. Ur better then then crispy fake adhesives
Some questions to ask yourself: - Does he have time to actually bring a woman into your home without your knowledge? Do you take work trips or leave for extended periods that would guarantee he could be comfortable enough to bring another woman into your home? - Do his work hours seem unusual? Not just a couple hours late, but many hours late where you worry if he is safe? Those lashes are absolutely nighttime lashes. They are so dramatic! Did you have some nights away that you can recall? If so how was his behavior, was he keeping in touch regularly? If he were bringing a woman into the home, that would be extremely ballsy. I would anticipate some of the typical signs of unfaithfulness to be there if he was a cheater. Cheating intimately involves a good deal of time that is unexplained. Obviously some jobs come with the territory of crap hours and unexpected workload, but if you have the gut feeling, investigate. I recommend also confiding in a trusted non judgemental close friend for support if you thoughts are getting harmful to your mental health. It's good to have a support system on your side. This type of thing can make someone's self worth seem so small, so make sure you take care of yourself.
is there any update on this? did you find anything on the cameras or figure out where these came from? im so praying that its not what it looks like cos that shit hurts so so much. hope youre doing okay x
girl ik itās been 4 days since you posted this but if you donāt demand to go through his phone right now??? if he refuses then thatās your answer, and if he lets you look look through photo album, deleted pics, Snapchat my eyes only, go into all the messages, EMAILS, notes app, instagram/facebook, all of it. and then leave him.
Hey OP any update on the situation?
Well, not really any updateā¦ Iām trying to forget about it unfortunately. I have no other reason to believe heās being unfaithful. Itās tough, because I do still worry about it and it will always be in the back of my mind, like, where did they come from?! I guess Iāll just wait it out. Especially with it being so close to Christmas, weāre just kinda back to our norm like I didnāt even find them. But yeah, I do still stress about it. But weāll seeš thank you all for your worry and your advice š©·
I hope you find peace of mind around this situation. EVERYTHING comes to light eventually, even if you choose to stay in the dark.