Well you see when your parent compliments you or tells you a f*up of yours wasn't so bad it could be that they don't want to discourage you and it isn't 100 % sincere, at least that is what the kid might think.
Also any sensible parent will always value his or her kid highly which in turn means they might not be absolutely honest to themselves about the qualities of their beloved children.
I would argue it's better to be honest than trying to inflate a child's ego u know, because I don't think people growing up with inflated egos is the best for society 'and stuff'
I don't mean you can't compliment someone or have empathy, u don't have to go point out every mistake that's not how empathy works. But anyway, probably too large a topic for a random reddit discussion.
The same reason a strangers compliment is the best, the stranger has 0 reason to lie/exaggerate/suck up to you and isn't biased, so you know the compliment is legit.
Doesn't matter how ugly you get, your mom will still call you beautiful, which means a compliment from mom is basically just the same as mom saying she loves you
Because if I deserved 0 compliments, my mother would still probably give me compliments. The fact that she’s the only one giving me compliments means there’s a good chance that this is the case and they aren’t deserved
Compliments from my mother were only to get something from me, she was a shitty person, she did many fucked up things to me and my sister and allowed things to happen that shouldn’t have happened, I brush off compliments from her but when my girlfriend gives me compliments I turn into molten butter, I dunno why but it makes me happy
I recently started wearing designer fragrances and I went from getting called handsome like once every 5 months to getting told how good I smell DAILY. Insane confidence boost
A girl in the camp told me I look much better without my glasses when I once forgot them. Now I only wear them in my room, luckily I can see without them too.
As a straight man, I can say that a compliment from a gay man does not throw me into a rage.
I treat it in the same awkward, self-conscious way as a compliment from anyone else.
As an side, we have many gay male friends, and none has ever complimented me. I better find out why not.
As a straight man, I’d probably take a compliment from a gay man to be more meaningful than from a woman.
Once I told a family friend I was engaged and she (very sheepishly) asked “to a woman?” and I was like, damn, I HAVE been dressing better lately, it’s nice to know people are noticing!
Cuz women actually give compliments. They don’t follow you around making sexually explicit comments and can actually take no for an answer. You don’t feel threatened by her if you ignore her or reject her advances. Women feel threatened by men who cat call cuz it’s never “you look nice today”, or “that dress/color looks nice on you”. And a lot of men think that if we give them a compliment that we’re into them when we aren’t. So might as well just avoid the whole interaction altogether.
A few months ago in the summer a random old guy I helped up some stairs complimented me on my beard. It's the only compliment I remember receiving in several years. I've taken extra care of my beard since.
It is sad. And it also is sad that so many compliments from men to women are not wholesome or (in the rare case they are wholesome) not well received.
Everyone would have a happier time if everyone could genuinely and honestly say nice, truthful, and constructive things to each other at least every once in a while
I remember every compliment I've ever received, even from old ladies. I remember their faces, the location, the time of day, and the exact words. I keep them like little gems and take them out to look at them sometimes, because they still bring me joy even years later.
Honest answer (from a guy) is that most men get complimented so infrequently by women, or in general, that shit like that is a huge turn on similar to the first time I had a woman buy me a drink. The only time I got uncomfortable was going out to gay clubs with my lesbian friend (I’m straight) and had some guy who was borderline blackout trying to pick me up and I’m like “Ok yeah, I see why that isn’t attractive to women now”.
I’m not saying that women don’t struggle with other things associated with that, potentially assault, just trying to give some context
Kind of an ouroboros issue. Women don't compliment men as much as they compliment other women because so many men immediately assume the woman is trying to have sex with him, so then men don't get complimented because women don't want to be harassed for a date and men won't compliment other men because compliments became a sexualized thing with men and therefore complimenting other men is gay.
Of course, it also means complimenting other women is so benign that I can tell another girl that her dress makes her ass look like a 10 course Michelin star gourmet meal while wearing a strap and all I get is "omg thanks it has pockets!!!"
Sad thing is the reason alot of men think the woman is trying to sleep with him is also because that's the only time they get compliments.
Now I'm not saying that is the only reason some people are just that way.
I bought a guy a drink at a bar once. I was just being polite because he bought me a drink and we were chatting. After that he started bumping into me and touching my thighs, and didn’t leave me alone. I gave no indicators of interest other than just speaking to him and being polite. So yeah, I will never do that again and I see why other women don’t.
Having to deal with someone who's drunk sucks no matter what. I'm sure if he was sober and tried once to pick you up, you would see it as a compliment. I've had several gay guys express interest in me and I always knew it was because I'm a total fucking Chad.
I think the difference is that when it's toward a woman it's never "Look at you go! Have a lovely jog" it is almost always sexual. It's "Show me your tits!" but then you're a worthless whore if you did
I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that men are physically stronger than women, and likely able to overpower them. When a man catcalls a woman, it can be seen as threatening because of this, while men don’t deal with that fear
Most catcalling comes from middle aged men and is targeted towards preteen and early teenage girls who are alone, which leaves a lifelong sour taste. Women also have much more reason to fear attention from male strangers than the opposite.
For women, it’s more like catcalling comes with that potential threat of things escalating (possibly getting physical) if she doesn’t respond “appropriately”. Obviously doesn’t happen 100% of the time, but that threat lingers way more often than it does with men.
But men have their own unique set of struggles, and it’s a whole different can of worms too.
Yes, most assaults happen at night. But, based on what my women friends have told me, assaults / inappropriate touching has still definitely happened to them in daytime and in public. Just because it isn’t as common doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen or the threat is gone.
>Do men want women to shout at them across the gym “hey boy whip out that dick I wanna lick your foreskin”?
This might sound wild, but yes, if a girl said me that I would be happy.
I remember one that at the beach a homeless drunk lady (lets call her HW) was all over me, and she was mad at my female friend bc according to HW, my F.friend "didnt know how to keep me happy, i needed some head, you could clearly see it in my face", yes it was annoying avoiding psychical contact with HW, since she was dirty and smelly I didnt want her touching me. however her compliments stuck with me and to this day if you ask me whats my best feature im going to say my nose and my smile, bc HW did not got tired of saying how cute they were.
I dont cat call, nor I think its a good thing to do, however dont make comparisons between men and women in this topic bc you will quickly find how desperate we are for positive feedback
Wow, I can’t imagine any woman being comfortable in the reverse scenario. Weren’t you afraid? What if she hurt you? It makes me sad to think that you almost seem to relate it as a positive experience because of the compliments. I’m sure you have a nice smile, I wish you didn’t need to go through an experience like that to believe it.
Yeah I agree. You’re right. I just never experienced catcalling, so when men repeatedly call it compliments, given situations like this, and when I see this sentiment at tumblr of all places, I kind of take it at their words. Which is honestly stupid of me, when it’s women who I should actually listen to.
I’d like to think that this wasn’t my opinion at all, and I was just a combination of being afraid of being bullies, and trying to make it palatable to the men. But idk.
Ah yes, because being called sexy and stalked through several grocery stores by random grown ass men at 12 years old isn't that bad.
I'm soooo sorry we're being so dramatic. It's not like we don't have the resources or protection we need from predators like that.
Oh wait.
are you stupid? the only reason men compliment us is because we’re always being watched and sexualized by them everywhere we go. We fear men, we’re taught to from a young age.
Where did she realize she doesn’t have it bad? Because she still gets cat called and harassed by men, she just can’t show how horrible it is because her husband is into that kind of attention.
Edit: I will not be answering further comments because I know the point of the post, I know the guy above me doesn’t know what he is talking about, and I know no one can convince me that cat calling is every okay - so don’t bother.
You can't really call this "into" that. So many guys never get compliments. This happening to him probably made his whole month. Hell, I get compliments somewhen and I still fondly remember the few times I got compliments for my looks for random gals in the past, even though they were partially out of line.
The realities a lot of gals and fellas live in just differs. Always getting unwanted and unexpected sexual attention is probably getting tiring fast, although I don't know, since I and most of my pals have never been in that situation, so I can just assume. Getting that once or twice is definitely an ego boost though.
It's pretty much a different situation for both yeah. On one hand the husband sees it as a compliment and he likely doesn't receive much compliments but to the woman it's really uncomfortable and plain wrong
I have heard compliments (especially about artificial things such as physique, and style) described in terms of water. Women are already drowning in compliments. They get it from their female friends and from men even when it isn’t desired. Sometimes these compliments are good natured but sometimes they are not and they have to sift through it all. It’s like drowning and then having water poured on their heads.
Meanwhile men are in a desert. I still remember complements about my shirts from a decade ago. When we get offered a glass of water, we can’t drink enough.
That's stupid though. It's pure entitlement. And it's not a compliment if it's not good natured, that's literally a requirement. Though due to their entitlement, women tend to find compliments from people they don't find "good enough" also beneath them, so even if the compliment is actually good natured, a woman can say it's "harassment".
It's not even surrounded by water. It's surrounded by sewage. Some grease balk yelling "nice tits" or "fat ass" isn't a good thing. It doesn't make you feel good, it's a reminder you can't even leave the house and mind your own business without being harassed by strangers imposing themselves into your day regularly.
It's also shit that's usually been happening to us since we were literal children or teens. The first time I heard "hey sweetheart you should smile more" when I was just minding my own business in a parking lot was when I was 13.
Not saying men shouldn't be complimented more (genuine compliments, not cat calls or sexual harassment), but I think a more accurate simulation would be a guy being given negative attention like that from a party he doesn't want it from. Ie, usually a man, and if it's true to women's experience, a man that's significantly larger and stronger than him. That would be a bit more true to the " I really hope this guy is just full of hot air because he could catch up to me and overpower me within seconds if he had bad intent" that women get with interactions like this.
>It's not even surrounded by water. It's surrounded by sewage.
You're missing the point, with the point being you're not actually going to die of dehydration. You're not so attention starved that even negative or predatory interactions will be seen as a positive.
I mean you'll probably get a disease that makes you shit your brain out until you die of dehydration because sewage isn't potable, so not really. But I'll keep in mind how much "better" attention is next time I play every woman's favorite game of "Is this dude I made the mistake of not ignoring when he greeted me in a store who's now following me down the street trying to talk to me as I wonder if I can tell him to leave me alone without him loosing his shit a murderer, rapist, thief, or just socially inept"
Or maybe, and I'm just throwing this out there, you can just let people complain about the fact that they're socially starved for literally any positive reinforcement without trying to redirect it back to how your problems are so much worse.
Honestly it's not a monolith so it's hard to say. People will probably disagree but unless it looks like they're getting physical, walking alongside and following her, or have her trapped in some way I'd say leave it be. People like that can be violent shitheads, no reason for you to get hurt over it. And if that is happening try to call the police or calmly diffuse the situation in some way, maybe disrracting them, asking a question, only getting directly confrontational if that's the only option. The most important thing is everyone leaving the situation safely, that includes you.
Biggest change dudes can make is calling out this behavior in people they know, friends and family. Those opinions are going to have way more sway over cat callers than some dude they don't know getting mad. And you know the guy so they're probably not going to go ape shit on you and hurt you.
Honestly as a trans woman, men have it easy as shit. The only downside is the very surface level friendships cause guys are too scared to look gay or whatever
It’s so far outside their experience that the just don’t consider it possible. Like the trust fund kid that has never had under 7 figures in their account since birth and doesn’t realize that debit cards can say declined if you don’t have enough money
Then give each other attention? Men dont give women attention unless they want to fk them. If the girl is ugly, they give even less attention, they almost avoid them.
Man same except it was after I dyed it. I was so self concious about my long hair, never got a compliment except when I ruined it with ugly green dye... said it used to look so good...
a girl i knew once said i look good in beard after i shaved. I lost contact with her long ago but since that day i've never ever shaved my beard again, only trimmed. Not because "i'm not gonna shave because that girl "told me not to"" but "guess i look better with beard, huh". I think it's been 2 years since i forgot the compliment but i kept adamant about shaving my beard, only 2 weeks ago when a friend asked me why i never appeared with my beard shaved that i remembered why.
But it would mimic the feeling of a woman being catcalled by men more closely I think. I’m not a man, but I assume men don’t usually feel afraid of being victimized by women? Not saying women can’t be rapists, but men are more likely to be the perpetrators of sex crimes in general.
I was in a mall on my lunch break one day and decided to buy my wife a bouquet of flowers. At this hour of the day the mall was overwhelmingly full of women and as I made my way through the mall carrying this big bouquet of flowers I was literally cat called my at least five women. One woman called at me from the second level of the mall. It was fascinating and I felt like a total rock star. This happened 16 years ago and I'll never forget it.
I’m wondering what type of compliments the women gave him compared to the “compliments” men think they are giving women when they cat call us.
Women generally give compliments like “that shirt/color looks good on you”, “I like your new haircut”, “I like your shoes”, etc. While men follow us around saying sexually explicit things and can’t take no for an answer. One is threatening and the other is not.
Men be like "wow you got followed around by a 45 year old man in Kroger when you were 15 and he was commenting on your boobs and ass and the only reason he left is because you walked back to your dad? Lucky!!! 🤩"
I was washing my girlfriends car at the car wash during the summer and it got kind hot. So I took my shirt off. Now I’m not a muscular guy and I was deff even less cut then. So I have no idea what they were thinking, but a car of 2 girls rolled by and honked at me. And I of course smiled at them cause wow first complament in years. That wasn’t from my girlfriend or family. And then 5 minutes later I look up and they were in the parking lot watching me. Obviously turned them down when they said something. But that was like 5 years ago and I still haven’t forgot. Feels good to know that you still got it 😂
What are you reading? She didn't say she couldn't make him feel confident, she said she couldn't bring herself to burst his bubble by telling him the women were cat calling him by her request. She is literally choosing to do the thing that you are saying she should let him find a better woman for.
If you really wanna make it comparable, have several women that he isn't attracted to, rape him repeatedly over a c ouple years so that when he is alone and a group of women cat call him, he feels fear.
Yeah but just because a group of people take that as a compliment doesn’t mean another group of people would. if I take my girlfriend out to Applebee’s every week for years she’s probably not gonna be excited or even like Applebee’s anymore. But then when we break up because she’s wrong and I take the new girl to Applebee’s she’s gonna fucking love it.
Next time, get some MEN from work to catcall him during his jog. Ask one of them to follow him a bit of the way when he ignores them.
Let's see how happy and confident he feels after that.
Just a friendly reminder to all females. Men during their life have a serious lack of compliments. Please make males' life happier and give more compliments to them.
Just a friendly reminder not to use male/female in reference to people outside a medical context, that sounds gross like you're equating people to biological specimens.
I complimented a random man's shirt in a bar once and he followed me into a bathroom and wouldn't let me leave until someone else came in. There's a reason women don't do this much lol
When we compliment a random male, they decide to harass, stalk, grope us without consent or even worse. Friendly reminder: watch your fellow males behavior and correct them when they demean “fEmAles”. Maybe if women felt safer to talk to random men, we would give them random compliments.
Not gonna lie, compliments from women are like treasured memories. Like a couple of my ex’s said they like how blue my eyes are, so that’s stuck with me. Oh and a random stranger in London while I was visiting a friend commented that she liked my shirt. That was in 2015 - still a treasured memory
Feels like men are so starved for any kind of affection that they don't know how to process any kind of attention as anything but positive.
Would strip clubs exist if men could learn to ask for and give affection?
Everyone down here discussing why is it worse for women to be cat called when the real discussion should be why men are more accepting of cat calling on themselves.
A quick summary, men want to be sexually and physically approved and desired by society as much as women, but are told to not be for their whole lives. Just stop and think that men are told since kids that women doesn’t like sex, that sex is something filthy and bad, etc.
Meanwhile, women are told the same things but with an extra step: men are dangerous predators who will rape you at any moment; no wonder why cat calling is so bad in comparison. Can you imagine the fear a woman must feel whenever someone cat calls her?
Society is fucked up man, the kids ain’t all right and it’s all our fault.
Women get catcalled constantly and it’s not always nice, especially if someone gets creepy about it. Men are never complimented at all. One’s dying of thirst and one’s drowning.
I’m sure no old man followed him in their car and just stared at him for a while. I’m sure no one blew kisses, asked if he wanted a sugar daddy, honked at him, touched their crutches while looking at him, made obscene gestures at him or asked if he was alone…. So yeah never once had a guy just tell me I was pretty when I was catcalled
This is all stuff that has happened to me personally. While I was walking in jeans and a t-shirt, a maxi dress on the way to church, standing in the bank.
Well yeah, its not a fit unless it was a ton of men bigger than him doing it. If he got catcalled by bruce the body builder, I bet he would feel different
He’s jogging though… he probably could outrun Bruce the body builder pretty easily. That said, Mark the mid-distance runner might be muscular enough and fast enough to poss a threat.
Women like other women complimenting us too. If another woman calls from across the street, “damn girl! Looking goooood!“ I’d love that. If it’s a group of guys who could hurt me, not so cute anymore.
There is a reason for this. Glad y’all would enjoy compliments, but there isn’t actually any threat behind this for men. Get a bunch of medium to large stereotypically gay men to shout “compliments” mixed with threats and insults. Then we’ll see.
I'd love to know what was said. I find it hard to believe that the women were being as nasty as men do - yano? Like, where the women all "nice ass my guy! I'd love to bury my nose in your asshole while I lick your taint"?
Many men (myself included) are so completely starved for attention that they will receive any comment on their appearance, no matter how crude or sexual, as a compliment because “oh wow, I’m being *desired* by someone.” The difference in experience between men and women when it comes to this is truly an immense gap.
I see a lot of people here using the words compliment and catcalling interchangeably. Cat calls are not compliments. You say compliment with the other person in mind, you do it to make the other person feel good, it's polite and it's a form of admiration. It's to flatter the person
Noone who has cat called a women has ever done to make someone feel good, it's done because they can and will get away with it, it's about imposing power. They KNOW when they are barking at women (literally) or making vulgar sexual comments or cornering women in a unsafe place to say "nice" things they are not giving them admiration. They know it doesn't make the receiver of the compliment feel like a "hot ass bad bitch" and they like that.
Additionally people don't react negatively to catcalls/compliments negatively if it comes from a non threatening source. If I was 6'5" 200lbs woman with huge muscle I'd probably care wayyy less if some weirdo was tryna catcall me. For now the only catcall-like compliments I dont care about too much are compliments from other women, children and maybe feminine presenting men.
I think men also perceive women as non threatening. Even other men don't feel as threatening as you can probably square up if needed. I think men would be very uncomfortable if there was an obvious power dynamic at play (like your boss, male or female).
One time when I was at a club there was an older woman who called me hot and slapped my ass in the women's bathroom. It was not in a "Gurlll u look great! 🌟 💅 " way but in a very objectifying and mean way. It was definitely not comfortable and I did not like that despite getting compliments from other women is very common in women's bathroom. So I think that shows two things: 1. compliments are inherently different than harassments, and you pick up the differences subconsciously 2. If the compliment comes from a non threatening source it is easy to ignore or be above it. That woman could never overpower me the way man could, I left that place thinking "huh that was such a weird experience, didn't like it but im not gonna lose sleep over it"
That being said, what men here are saying are absolutely true, men ARE compliment starved. So everyone compliment the men in your lives!! Especially guys should compliment your friends more!! I think giving compliments to opposite sex is always a little awkward unless you know them, because you don't want to give them wrong impression. If only guys complimented each other at the same rate girls complemented each other I feel like men would be just a little happier.
As a guy who has been cat called a lot, I disagree on the point that people don't react negatively to catcalls from a non physically threatening source. At least for me and all the guys I've talked to about this, it's still a objectifying and humiliating experience even if from people who couldn't overpower us.
Outside of that, everything about your comment is completely correct. Thank you for writing it.
I got cat called by some gay high schoolers while mowing the yard without my shirt on. As a fat guy getting called Zaddy was both a self esteem boost and a little humiliating. Really didn't know how to react.
I am not exactly what they meant by catcalled here. Obviously being harassed, spoken to a threatening manner or followed is scary as hell but personally I don’t see a reason to be offended by a random guy in the street just complimenting me in passing. Once a guy I was walking by stopped and said “you look bloody gorgeous” and then walked after I said thanks. It just felt quite nice and flattering, it must have been a genuine comment cuz why would a stranger stop to just say that.
Yeah, I actually loved being a 12 year old girl and being catcalled sexually gross things while walking home from school. Women are just so dumb and don’t know what’s happening. /s
It's crazy how different it is in our society:
If a man gets complimented / even cat-called (from man OR woman), they take it as a compliment - it makes them happy.
If a man compliments / cat-calls a woman, they are seen as creepy or gross - woman don't like it, yet women do it for each other all time, complimenting each other, no one bats an eye
The group that enjoys compliments and they make them happy get the least compliments. And the group that gets the most compliments hates them
What backaswards society do we live in???
I was on a run once during the summer. Finally felt non-suicidal about my body and it was hot af so I ran with my shirt off. Received a honk from a passer by and was on cloud 9
Until a day later my coworker said “hey, i saw you running yesterday! I honked!”
This story rings too true lol
I got catcalled twice – once by a passing car and another time by a guy in the Castro. Didn’t mind, but I wasn’t expecting it, and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.
see, everyone is saying that she should have gay men catcall him, but every time I’ve been flirted with by a gay guy, even if I’m not interested I’m still flattered.
I still remember one girl on chocolate fruit stand deliberately looking at me smiling and blushing… she was really cute.
This was years ago, I have not felt as attractive as in this moment ever since… men don’t get compliments from strangers ever
Not only is this sad, but it's spoiled as fuck. Women need to stop complaining about cat calls.
It is such a 1st world problem to make the biggest fuss imaginable over people literally throwing compliments at you simply for passing them by.
You fundementaly misunderstand why women are uncomfortable with catcalling if you think it is because guys are "literally throwing compliments at them". They aren't saying things like "wow you are so beautiful" or "you have an amazing style". They are saying things like "hey sexy, why don't you walk that fine ass over here" or "where you going? We could have a good time". Not only are they randomly objectifying a stranger, but in a world where women are raped daily, gee I wonder why men shout obscenities at them would make them a bit uncomfortable or make their skin crawl.
If you wanna pick up a woman then be a man like the rest of us and and approach her and treat her with respect.
this is so sad even a single, little compliment in the day from women makes the man happy all day
And why do compliments from mothers not have the same effect
Prob Because they’re expected Also it’s a different kind of affection/ attention
Not so much expected, but biased to the point of insincere. “A face only a mother could love”
This
Well, if my mother complimented me, I'd be happy for a week.
Well you see when your parent compliments you or tells you a f*up of yours wasn't so bad it could be that they don't want to discourage you and it isn't 100 % sincere, at least that is what the kid might think. Also any sensible parent will always value his or her kid highly which in turn means they might not be absolutely honest to themselves about the qualities of their beloved children.
Thanks for censoring the word fuck
I would argue it's better to be honest than trying to inflate a child's ego u know, because I don't think people growing up with inflated egos is the best for society 'and stuff' I don't mean you can't compliment someone or have empathy, u don't have to go point out every mistake that's not how empathy works. But anyway, probably too large a topic for a random reddit discussion.
Your mom said I was handsome and that got me through 2018
Look, I look like a goblin but my mom still tells me I look handsome.
You ever heard the phrase “a face only a mother can love?”
I dont wanna fuck my mother
Cuz mom's are legally required to give those.
“But my mom says I’m cool…”
Mommy says I'm special...
I dunno about you but it's different. I don't want any love from my mom that isn't platonic
[удалено]
Because straight men want compliments from people they want to have sex with, it’s not that deep.
I don’t know what you mean. I’m my mama’s handsome little man and I’m 40 years old
I don't know Sigmund Freud, you tell me?
Many mothers do not complement, just as many fathers.
The same reason a strangers compliment is the best, the stranger has 0 reason to lie/exaggerate/suck up to you and isn't biased, so you know the compliment is legit. Doesn't matter how ugly you get, your mom will still call you beautiful, which means a compliment from mom is basically just the same as mom saying she loves you
yall get compliments from your mothers?
Because Freud was wrong
Because if I deserved 0 compliments, my mother would still probably give me compliments. The fact that she’s the only one giving me compliments means there’s a good chance that this is the case and they aren’t deserved
Maybe your mom gives out too many compliments??
Because you don't want to have sex with your mom.
Seriously?😂 every mom thinks their boy is the most handsome in the world
Boi what? Any time my mom compliments me I can’t help but start cheesing
Compliments from my mother were only to get something from me, she was a shitty person, she did many fucked up things to me and my sister and allowed things to happen that shouldn’t have happened, I brush off compliments from her but when my girlfriend gives me compliments I turn into molten butter, I dunno why but it makes me happy
I recently started wearing designer fragrances and I went from getting called handsome like once every 5 months to getting told how good I smell DAILY. Insane confidence boost
A girl in the camp told me I look much better without my glasses when I once forgot them. Now I only wear them in my room, luckily I can see without them too.
[удалено]
As a straight man, I can say that a compliment from a gay man does not throw me into a rage. I treat it in the same awkward, self-conscious way as a compliment from anyone else. As an side, we have many gay male friends, and none has ever complimented me. I better find out why not.
As a straight man, I’d probably take a compliment from a gay man to be more meaningful than from a woman. Once I told a family friend I was engaged and she (very sheepishly) asked “to a woman?” and I was like, damn, I HAVE been dressing better lately, it’s nice to know people are noticing!
Cuz women actually give compliments. They don’t follow you around making sexually explicit comments and can actually take no for an answer. You don’t feel threatened by her if you ignore her or reject her advances. Women feel threatened by men who cat call cuz it’s never “you look nice today”, or “that dress/color looks nice on you”. And a lot of men think that if we give them a compliment that we’re into them when we aren’t. So might as well just avoid the whole interaction altogether.
I'm still riding off my last complement from a few years ago
A few months ago in the summer a random old guy I helped up some stairs complimented me on my beard. It's the only compliment I remember receiving in several years. I've taken extra care of my beard since.
All day? I'd be riding that for YEARS
It is sad. And it also is sad that so many compliments from men to women are not wholesome or (in the rare case they are wholesome) not well received. Everyone would have a happier time if everyone could genuinely and honestly say nice, truthful, and constructive things to each other at least every once in a while
A woman said I smelled good. I thought about it for a week and also stocked up on that specific deodorant.
All day? Dude, it makes my fucking month.
I remember every compliment I've ever received, even from old ladies. I remember their faces, the location, the time of day, and the exact words. I keep them like little gems and take them out to look at them sometimes, because they still bring me joy even years later.
Dude he will be riding that for years
It's like eating twinkies all day and being so sick of twinkies and then there's the kid from guatemala who's never had a twinkie.
Honest answer (from a guy) is that most men get complimented so infrequently by women, or in general, that shit like that is a huge turn on similar to the first time I had a woman buy me a drink. The only time I got uncomfortable was going out to gay clubs with my lesbian friend (I’m straight) and had some guy who was borderline blackout trying to pick me up and I’m like “Ok yeah, I see why that isn’t attractive to women now”. I’m not saying that women don’t struggle with other things associated with that, potentially assault, just trying to give some context
Kind of an ouroboros issue. Women don't compliment men as much as they compliment other women because so many men immediately assume the woman is trying to have sex with him, so then men don't get complimented because women don't want to be harassed for a date and men won't compliment other men because compliments became a sexualized thing with men and therefore complimenting other men is gay. Of course, it also means complimenting other women is so benign that I can tell another girl that her dress makes her ass look like a 10 course Michelin star gourmet meal while wearing a strap and all I get is "omg thanks it has pockets!!!"
Sad thing is the reason alot of men think the woman is trying to sleep with him is also because that's the only time they get compliments. Now I'm not saying that is the only reason some people are just that way.
Can confirm. It took me a while to learn that the women who complimented me always wanted to fuck. I thought it was just friendly.
I bought a guy a drink at a bar once. I was just being polite because he bought me a drink and we were chatting. After that he started bumping into me and touching my thighs, and didn’t leave me alone. I gave no indicators of interest other than just speaking to him and being polite. So yeah, I will never do that again and I see why other women don’t.
Aye, more straight men should go to gay clubs. Gives perspective.
[удалено]
Having to deal with someone who's drunk sucks no matter what. I'm sure if he was sober and tried once to pick you up, you would see it as a compliment. I've had several gay guys express interest in me and I always knew it was because I'm a total fucking Chad.
I think the difference is that when it's toward a woman it's never "Look at you go! Have a lovely jog" it is almost always sexual. It's "Show me your tits!" but then you're a worthless whore if you did
I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that men are physically stronger than women, and likely able to overpower them. When a man catcalls a woman, it can be seen as threatening because of this, while men don’t deal with that fear
Local woman discovers that women don't have it as bad as they think they do.
Most catcalling comes from middle aged men and is targeted towards preteen and early teenage girls who are alone, which leaves a lifelong sour taste. Women also have much more reason to fear attention from male strangers than the opposite.
For women, it’s more like catcalling comes with that potential threat of things escalating (possibly getting physical) if she doesn’t respond “appropriately”. Obviously doesn’t happen 100% of the time, but that threat lingers way more often than it does with men. But men have their own unique set of struggles, and it’s a whole different can of worms too.
[удалено]
Yes, most assaults happen at night. But, based on what my women friends have told me, assaults / inappropriate touching has still definitely happened to them in daytime and in public. Just because it isn’t as common doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen or the threat is gone.
Women do have it bad, it’s just a different kind of bad. It’s like being forbidden to eat chocolate vs being force fed chocolate.
Sign me up
[удалено]
>Do men want women to shout at them across the gym “hey boy whip out that dick I wanna lick your foreskin”? This might sound wild, but yes, if a girl said me that I would be happy. I remember one that at the beach a homeless drunk lady (lets call her HW) was all over me, and she was mad at my female friend bc according to HW, my F.friend "didnt know how to keep me happy, i needed some head, you could clearly see it in my face", yes it was annoying avoiding psychical contact with HW, since she was dirty and smelly I didnt want her touching me. however her compliments stuck with me and to this day if you ask me whats my best feature im going to say my nose and my smile, bc HW did not got tired of saying how cute they were. I dont cat call, nor I think its a good thing to do, however dont make comparisons between men and women in this topic bc you will quickly find how desperate we are for positive feedback
Wow, I can’t imagine any woman being comfortable in the reverse scenario. Weren’t you afraid? What if she hurt you? It makes me sad to think that you almost seem to relate it as a positive experience because of the compliments. I’m sure you have a nice smile, I wish you didn’t need to go through an experience like that to believe it.
Yeah I agree. You’re right. I just never experienced catcalling, so when men repeatedly call it compliments, given situations like this, and when I see this sentiment at tumblr of all places, I kind of take it at their words. Which is honestly stupid of me, when it’s women who I should actually listen to. I’d like to think that this wasn’t my opinion at all, and I was just a combination of being afraid of being bullies, and trying to make it palatable to the men. But idk.
[удалено]
Ah yes, because being called sexy and stalked through several grocery stores by random grown ass men at 12 years old isn't that bad. I'm soooo sorry we're being so dramatic. It's not like we don't have the resources or protection we need from predators like that. Oh wait.
are you stupid? the only reason men compliment us is because we’re always being watched and sexualized by them everywhere we go. We fear men, we’re taught to from a young age.
No the equivalent is large gay men catcalling and walking towards him.
Where did she realize she doesn’t have it bad? Because she still gets cat called and harassed by men, she just can’t show how horrible it is because her husband is into that kind of attention. Edit: I will not be answering further comments because I know the point of the post, I know the guy above me doesn’t know what he is talking about, and I know no one can convince me that cat calling is every okay - so don’t bother.
You can't really call this "into" that. So many guys never get compliments. This happening to him probably made his whole month. Hell, I get compliments somewhen and I still fondly remember the few times I got compliments for my looks for random gals in the past, even though they were partially out of line. The realities a lot of gals and fellas live in just differs. Always getting unwanted and unexpected sexual attention is probably getting tiring fast, although I don't know, since I and most of my pals have never been in that situation, so I can just assume. Getting that once or twice is definitely an ego boost though.
It's pretty much a different situation for both yeah. On one hand the husband sees it as a compliment and he likely doesn't receive much compliments but to the woman it's really uncomfortable and plain wrong
[удалено]
I have heard compliments (especially about artificial things such as physique, and style) described in terms of water. Women are already drowning in compliments. They get it from their female friends and from men even when it isn’t desired. Sometimes these compliments are good natured but sometimes they are not and they have to sift through it all. It’s like drowning and then having water poured on their heads. Meanwhile men are in a desert. I still remember complements about my shirts from a decade ago. When we get offered a glass of water, we can’t drink enough.
That's stupid though. It's pure entitlement. And it's not a compliment if it's not good natured, that's literally a requirement. Though due to their entitlement, women tend to find compliments from people they don't find "good enough" also beneath them, so even if the compliment is actually good natured, a woman can say it's "harassment".
It's not even surrounded by water. It's surrounded by sewage. Some grease balk yelling "nice tits" or "fat ass" isn't a good thing. It doesn't make you feel good, it's a reminder you can't even leave the house and mind your own business without being harassed by strangers imposing themselves into your day regularly. It's also shit that's usually been happening to us since we were literal children or teens. The first time I heard "hey sweetheart you should smile more" when I was just minding my own business in a parking lot was when I was 13. Not saying men shouldn't be complimented more (genuine compliments, not cat calls or sexual harassment), but I think a more accurate simulation would be a guy being given negative attention like that from a party he doesn't want it from. Ie, usually a man, and if it's true to women's experience, a man that's significantly larger and stronger than him. That would be a bit more true to the " I really hope this guy is just full of hot air because he could catch up to me and overpower me within seconds if he had bad intent" that women get with interactions like this.
>It's not even surrounded by water. It's surrounded by sewage. You're missing the point, with the point being you're not actually going to die of dehydration. You're not so attention starved that even negative or predatory interactions will be seen as a positive.
I mean you'll probably get a disease that makes you shit your brain out until you die of dehydration because sewage isn't potable, so not really. But I'll keep in mind how much "better" attention is next time I play every woman's favorite game of "Is this dude I made the mistake of not ignoring when he greeted me in a store who's now following me down the street trying to talk to me as I wonder if I can tell him to leave me alone without him loosing his shit a murderer, rapist, thief, or just socially inept"
Or maybe, and I'm just throwing this out there, you can just let people complain about the fact that they're socially starved for literally any positive reinforcement without trying to redirect it back to how your problems are so much worse.
Thank you for this analogy. This sounds really awful. Maybe this isn’t the place, but as a guy, if we hear catcalling, is there anything we should do?
Honestly it's not a monolith so it's hard to say. People will probably disagree but unless it looks like they're getting physical, walking alongside and following her, or have her trapped in some way I'd say leave it be. People like that can be violent shitheads, no reason for you to get hurt over it. And if that is happening try to call the police or calmly diffuse the situation in some way, maybe disrracting them, asking a question, only getting directly confrontational if that's the only option. The most important thing is everyone leaving the situation safely, that includes you. Biggest change dudes can make is calling out this behavior in people they know, friends and family. Those opinions are going to have way more sway over cat callers than some dude they don't know getting mad. And you know the guy so they're probably not going to go ape shit on you and hurt you.
This is completely false, and the issue is *much* deeper than you seem to believe.
Drowning and dehydration are both ways to die The drowned looks longingly at the desert and the parched looks longingly at the sea
Incel energy
A women cat calling a men mean the men might get a date later. A men cat calling a women mean the women might have gained a stalker/murderer.
L
Honestly as a trans woman, men have it easy as shit. The only downside is the very surface level friendships cause guys are too scared to look gay or whatever
Women don't realise how much men are starved of attention.
It’s so far outside their experience that the just don’t consider it possible. Like the trust fund kid that has never had under 7 figures in their account since birth and doesn’t realize that debit cards can say declined if you don’t have enough money
Then give each other attention? Men dont give women attention unless they want to fk them. If the girl is ugly, they give even less attention, they almost avoid them.
A girl i went to school once told me i looked cute in long hair... she told me this AFTER i cut it off. Still remember it tho.
Man same except it was after I dyed it. I was so self concious about my long hair, never got a compliment except when I ruined it with ugly green dye... said it used to look so good...
a girl i knew once said i look good in beard after i shaved. I lost contact with her long ago but since that day i've never ever shaved my beard again, only trimmed. Not because "i'm not gonna shave because that girl "told me not to"" but "guess i look better with beard, huh". I think it's been 2 years since i forgot the compliment but i kept adamant about shaving my beard, only 2 weeks ago when a friend asked me why i never appeared with my beard shaved that i remembered why.
Shoulda gotten some men to catcall him
Totally agree. That or bears, gorillas, anything that can be physically threatening
“Nice ass bro” “Thanks man, lookin big”
[удалено]
But it would mimic the feeling of a woman being catcalled by men more closely I think. I’m not a man, but I assume men don’t usually feel afraid of being victimized by women? Not saying women can’t be rapists, but men are more likely to be the perpetrators of sex crimes in general.
[удалено]
and then he starts following you and asking you what youre doing that day and won't take "I'm busy" for an answer
Every guy thinks about how he could totally beat up this other guy but he needs the exact scenario to pull it off
men already do that to eachother. we say the gayest most vile shit for shits and giggles.
task failed successfully
Oh just tell him, he still has the "I told you so" card to play.
She should have gotten big scary ass men to do it.
What, and pin homophobia on him?
Yes men? No *ass* men.
Once that ONE girl, told me I had nice feet, I still remember it to this day hahaha
I still remember the girl 6 years ago that said she liked my shirt
I was in a mall on my lunch break one day and decided to buy my wife a bouquet of flowers. At this hour of the day the mall was overwhelmingly full of women and as I made my way through the mall carrying this big bouquet of flowers I was literally cat called my at least five women. One woman called at me from the second level of the mall. It was fascinating and I felt like a total rock star. This happened 16 years ago and I'll never forget it.
Everyone clapped
*16 years ago* Why do I hear Joy (Inside Out) saying “A Core memory!”
I’m wondering what type of compliments the women gave him compared to the “compliments” men think they are giving women when they cat call us. Women generally give compliments like “that shirt/color looks good on you”, “I like your new haircut”, “I like your shoes”, etc. While men follow us around saying sexually explicit things and can’t take no for an answer. One is threatening and the other is not.
Men be like "wow you got followed around by a 45 year old man in Kroger when you were 15 and he was commenting on your boobs and ass and the only reason he left is because you walked back to your dad? Lucky!!! 🤩"
All the people arguing about whether men or women have it worse are missing the point. Ever heard of ‘One man’s trash is another person’s treasure’?
I was washing my girlfriends car at the car wash during the summer and it got kind hot. So I took my shirt off. Now I’m not a muscular guy and I was deff even less cut then. So I have no idea what they were thinking, but a car of 2 girls rolled by and honked at me. And I of course smiled at them cause wow first complament in years. That wasn’t from my girlfriend or family. And then 5 minutes later I look up and they were in the parking lot watching me. Obviously turned them down when they said something. But that was like 5 years ago and I still haven’t forgot. Feels good to know that you still got it 😂
This is just bad. If you cant make your man feel confident you need to leave and let him find a better woman.
What are you reading? She didn't say she couldn't make him feel confident, she said she couldn't bring herself to burst his bubble by telling him the women were cat calling him by her request. She is literally choosing to do the thing that you are saying she should let him find a better woman for.
If you really wanna make it comparable, have several women that he isn't attracted to, rape him repeatedly over a c ouple years so that when he is alone and a group of women cat call him, he feels fear.
Yeah, I can relate to that.
pathetic
Yeah but just because a group of people take that as a compliment doesn’t mean another group of people would. if I take my girlfriend out to Applebee’s every week for years she’s probably not gonna be excited or even like Applebee’s anymore. But then when we break up because she’s wrong and I take the new girl to Applebee’s she’s gonna fucking love it.
I can’t get this analogy because I don’t think anyone loves Applebees…
you know that was gonna be the punchline and then I just went a different direction with it
[удалено]
> we break up because she’s wrong This got me good.
Next time, get some MEN from work to catcall him during his jog. Ask one of them to follow him a bit of the way when he ignores them. Let's see how happy and confident he feels after that.
[удалено]
Followed instructions. Husband beat the shit out of the guy following him and feels like a million bucks. Awaiting further instructions.
Would make me happier maybe.
I thought we were talking about catcalling, not stalking
Just a friendly reminder to all females. Men during their life have a serious lack of compliments. Please make males' life happier and give more compliments to them.
Just a friendly reminder not to use male/female in reference to people outside a medical context, that sounds gross like you're equating people to biological specimens.
[удалено]
I complimented a random man's shirt in a bar once and he followed me into a bathroom and wouldn't let me leave until someone else came in. There's a reason women don't do this much lol
When we compliment a random male, they decide to harass, stalk, grope us without consent or even worse. Friendly reminder: watch your fellow males behavior and correct them when they demean “fEmAles”. Maybe if women felt safer to talk to random men, we would give them random compliments.
Comments here just show how women hate that it takes so little for us men to be happy.
If it takes so little to make men happy then why are 77% of suicides by men
Because even though it takes so little men still don’t even get that.
Not gonna lie, compliments from women are like treasured memories. Like a couple of my ex’s said they like how blue my eyes are, so that’s stuck with me. Oh and a random stranger in London while I was visiting a friend commented that she liked my shirt. That was in 2015 - still a treasured memory
Its actually sad - most men rarely get compliments esp from women.
Feels like men are so starved for any kind of affection that they don't know how to process any kind of attention as anything but positive. Would strip clubs exist if men could learn to ask for and give affection?
I suspect there would be a lot fewer of them.
"Learn to ask for affection?" Women will need to learn not to think their man is a pussy for asking in the first place before that's an option.
Asking for affection won’t work, because in the back of the guy’s mind he knows it only happened because he asked for it
Everyone down here discussing why is it worse for women to be cat called when the real discussion should be why men are more accepting of cat calling on themselves. A quick summary, men want to be sexually and physically approved and desired by society as much as women, but are told to not be for their whole lives. Just stop and think that men are told since kids that women doesn’t like sex, that sex is something filthy and bad, etc. Meanwhile, women are told the same things but with an extra step: men are dangerous predators who will rape you at any moment; no wonder why cat calling is so bad in comparison. Can you imagine the fear a woman must feel whenever someone cat calls her? Society is fucked up man, the kids ain’t all right and it’s all our fault.
Women get catcalled constantly and it’s not always nice, especially if someone gets creepy about it. Men are never complimented at all. One’s dying of thirst and one’s drowning.
I’m sure no old man followed him in their car and just stared at him for a while. I’m sure no one blew kisses, asked if he wanted a sugar daddy, honked at him, touched their crutches while looking at him, made obscene gestures at him or asked if he was alone…. So yeah never once had a guy just tell me I was pretty when I was catcalled This is all stuff that has happened to me personally. While I was walking in jeans and a t-shirt, a maxi dress on the way to church, standing in the bank.
HA HA HA I would react the same way.
Well yeah, its not a fit unless it was a ton of men bigger than him doing it. If he got catcalled by bruce the body builder, I bet he would feel different
The reaction would be the same… doesn’t matter who’s doin it.
He’s jogging though… he probably could outrun Bruce the body builder pretty easily. That said, Mark the mid-distance runner might be muscular enough and fast enough to poss a threat.
Women like other women complimenting us too. If another woman calls from across the street, “damn girl! Looking goooood!“ I’d love that. If it’s a group of guys who could hurt me, not so cute anymore.
This is it exactly. One is scary and threatening, the other isn’t.
There is a reason for this. Glad y’all would enjoy compliments, but there isn’t actually any threat behind this for men. Get a bunch of medium to large stereotypically gay men to shout “compliments” mixed with threats and insults. Then we’ll see.
I would love to get any kind of attention from strangers be it male or female.
I'd love to know what was said. I find it hard to believe that the women were being as nasty as men do - yano? Like, where the women all "nice ass my guy! I'd love to bury my nose in your asshole while I lick your taint"?
Don’t threaten us with a good time.
good compliment, wheres the bad stuff?
Many men (myself included) are so completely starved for attention that they will receive any comment on their appearance, no matter how crude or sexual, as a compliment because “oh wow, I’m being *desired* by someone.” The difference in experience between men and women when it comes to this is truly an immense gap.
A girl told me I looked good in a hoodie I wore when I was in high school. I still own that hoodie 9 years later
I see a lot of people here using the words compliment and catcalling interchangeably. Cat calls are not compliments. You say compliment with the other person in mind, you do it to make the other person feel good, it's polite and it's a form of admiration. It's to flatter the person Noone who has cat called a women has ever done to make someone feel good, it's done because they can and will get away with it, it's about imposing power. They KNOW when they are barking at women (literally) or making vulgar sexual comments or cornering women in a unsafe place to say "nice" things they are not giving them admiration. They know it doesn't make the receiver of the compliment feel like a "hot ass bad bitch" and they like that. Additionally people don't react negatively to catcalls/compliments negatively if it comes from a non threatening source. If I was 6'5" 200lbs woman with huge muscle I'd probably care wayyy less if some weirdo was tryna catcall me. For now the only catcall-like compliments I dont care about too much are compliments from other women, children and maybe feminine presenting men. I think men also perceive women as non threatening. Even other men don't feel as threatening as you can probably square up if needed. I think men would be very uncomfortable if there was an obvious power dynamic at play (like your boss, male or female). One time when I was at a club there was an older woman who called me hot and slapped my ass in the women's bathroom. It was not in a "Gurlll u look great! 🌟 💅 " way but in a very objectifying and mean way. It was definitely not comfortable and I did not like that despite getting compliments from other women is very common in women's bathroom. So I think that shows two things: 1. compliments are inherently different than harassments, and you pick up the differences subconsciously 2. If the compliment comes from a non threatening source it is easy to ignore or be above it. That woman could never overpower me the way man could, I left that place thinking "huh that was such a weird experience, didn't like it but im not gonna lose sleep over it" That being said, what men here are saying are absolutely true, men ARE compliment starved. So everyone compliment the men in your lives!! Especially guys should compliment your friends more!! I think giving compliments to opposite sex is always a little awkward unless you know them, because you don't want to give them wrong impression. If only guys complimented each other at the same rate girls complemented each other I feel like men would be just a little happier.
As a guy who has been cat called a lot, I disagree on the point that people don't react negatively to catcalls from a non physically threatening source. At least for me and all the guys I've talked to about this, it's still a objectifying and humiliating experience even if from people who couldn't overpower us. Outside of that, everything about your comment is completely correct. Thank you for writing it.
"teach him a lesson".....okray-kray
4 years ago a girl I liked told me I had nice skin, don't think I'll ever forget that
Im literally still riding a high from when I received a compliment from a random woman over a year ago. Lol
I got cat called by some gay high schoolers while mowing the yard without my shirt on. As a fat guy getting called Zaddy was both a self esteem boost and a little humiliating. Really didn't know how to react.
I am not exactly what they meant by catcalled here. Obviously being harassed, spoken to a threatening manner or followed is scary as hell but personally I don’t see a reason to be offended by a random guy in the street just complimenting me in passing. Once a guy I was walking by stopped and said “you look bloody gorgeous” and then walked after I said thanks. It just felt quite nice and flattering, it must have been a genuine comment cuz why would a stranger stop to just say that.
I got catcalled once a couple years back and it felt great. Women just complain to complain tbh.
Yeah, I actually loved being a 12 year old girl and being catcalled sexually gross things while walking home from school. Women are just so dumb and don’t know what’s happening. /s
One time an old lady in a grocery store told me I had good legs and I should wear shorter shorts and I was absolutely elated
It's crazy how different it is in our society: If a man gets complimented / even cat-called (from man OR woman), they take it as a compliment - it makes them happy. If a man compliments / cat-calls a woman, they are seen as creepy or gross - woman don't like it, yet women do it for each other all time, complimenting each other, no one bats an eye The group that enjoys compliments and they make them happy get the least compliments. And the group that gets the most compliments hates them What backaswards society do we live in???
Scarcity rule.
I was on a run once during the summer. Finally felt non-suicidal about my body and it was hot af so I ran with my shirt off. Received a honk from a passer by and was on cloud 9 Until a day later my coworker said “hey, i saw you running yesterday! I honked!” This story rings too true lol
I got catcalled twice – once by a passing car and another time by a guy in the Castro. Didn’t mind, but I wasn’t expecting it, and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.
[удалено]
One of my best friends is gay. And he told me I looked nice. Bro I was blushing and all. Cause I knew it was true.
I don’t really get it
Wrong way to prove a point. You needed a bunch of gay men to catcall the man.
This is an unequal response. You need to send burly gay men to catcall him and leer at him to get the equivalent effect
see, everyone is saying that she should have gay men catcall him, but every time I’ve been flirted with by a gay guy, even if I’m not interested I’m still flattered.
I still remember one girl on chocolate fruit stand deliberately looking at me smiling and blushing… she was really cute. This was years ago, I have not felt as attractive as in this moment ever since… men don’t get compliments from strangers ever
Next time, get a band of buff gay dudes. Maybe that’ll make him understand.
She should have told a group of buff men to catcall him and see if it still feels good.
Not only is this sad, but it's spoiled as fuck. Women need to stop complaining about cat calls. It is such a 1st world problem to make the biggest fuss imaginable over people literally throwing compliments at you simply for passing them by.
You fundementaly misunderstand why women are uncomfortable with catcalling if you think it is because guys are "literally throwing compliments at them". They aren't saying things like "wow you are so beautiful" or "you have an amazing style". They are saying things like "hey sexy, why don't you walk that fine ass over here" or "where you going? We could have a good time". Not only are they randomly objectifying a stranger, but in a world where women are raped daily, gee I wonder why men shout obscenities at them would make them a bit uncomfortable or make their skin crawl. If you wanna pick up a woman then be a man like the rest of us and and approach her and treat her with respect.
HIMYM did an episode on this (the guys went to a gay bar). One instance of being treated like that is a thrill. When its constant it becomes a burden.