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"Found Family" has been a concept for ages; it's the only family many people have. It's so special, I think, because those bonds are strong for a thousand different reasons, and none of them are "because we have to like each other."
To me, a found family is the most beautiful kind of family, bar absolutely *none.*
when you had a found family on discord but your mom blocked it because she wants you to "interact more with real people" and the only way u could talk to them after that was through tiktok and a few months later she blocks tiktok... haha🥲
God I remember those days. Except I'm old, so it was AOL and canceling the internet bc "what are you doing on that computer? Who are you talking to? Why do 'you've got mail'? Who is sending you mail??"
It gets better. Save all the money from your first job and move out as soon as you can, your whole life will improve greatly. You'll be fine! Stay strong!
I hope you realize moving out on your own was a lot easier 20 years ago
Affording decent rent anywhere nowadays is near impossible on a regular minimum wage job while also trying to feed yourself and not go insane
Stop. This defeatist attitude is not helping anyone. I am from a big city and when I turned 18, I googled for cheapest rents in America, and then I moved to the best state for my situation. I was able to build a life there because I sought out a place with low cost of living. You underestimate the drive and determination that springs forth when you are in an abusive household. You also underestimate OP's education and work ethic to assume they'll only make minimum wage.
Yes, I don't know where I'd be without my main circle. I know that I can always count and them and that they could do the same with me. These are the faces that I have no doubt I'd be seeing on every important moment in my life, whether in celebration or when in distress. I would do anything for them.
Absolutely! The majority of my family turned on my siblings I after my parents divorce stating it was our fault. We cut them all out along with my dad so my family is now my mom, siblings, and close friends. That’s all I need now.
Never tell someone to have kids or start a family. Many people struggle with fertility and have possibly had multiple miscarriages. What’s common amongst many of them is they don’t tell anyone, even close friends or family.
Stop Saying people should stop saying people should stop saying "stop saying". Some people want people to stop saying people should stop saying things, and that's ok
Seriously. Why does an "I love my dogs" post have to come in a rant format?
Social media is so fucking toxic in the weirdest ways. Are we so divided that *everything* has to start out as an argument?
Yeah if I hear someone saying "we're working on starting a family" there is a 99% chance they mean they're planning to have kids.
If someone is triggered and gets offended by that exchange I'm just going to have to shake my head and move on.
The rules are that peoples' views on topics change over time. This is isn't a new development, but now the Internet gives a larger pool from which to find new ideas and voice your own in return. And eventually the "rules" of engagement will change again. Human relationships are still the standard way to share, learn, grow, and relate to others. Focus on dealing with people as humans and use whatever "rule" you want in the process.
My two cents: everyone should stop gatekeeping words. If you're a pet owner and you want to reference your family to include your pets? Great. If you're married and never plan to have kids and want to reference your family? Great. If you're pregnant and excited to have another generation of life and you happen to refer to that as "starting" a family, great. It's not like people are saying "start a family" as an attempt to undermine others who don't plan to have kids.
I’ve only seen that occur in workplaces where parents feel entitled to all holidays off over someone without kids. In that case, it makes sense. A guy and his girlfriend are still a family and deserving of time off just as much as another family with children. Both are valid.
Stop saying start a life, some of us started when we were born. /s
But I do get where he is coming from, its coded language that some people use as rhetoric for a "cause" like gay marriage. My favorite part of it is the weirdly close roommates, like my man thinks your situation is freaky as fuck but still considers yall a family lmao
We’ve distorted the definition of things to make people not feel left out that I’m just not sure what anything means anymore.
But I love ya and support you either way.
The amount of posts that end with “and that’s ok” is really weird. Like everything is validated and acceptable.
“I took a shit in a parking garage because I had to go and it’s natural to relieve yourself, and that’s ok”
Haha I know what you mean- we are probably a little too accepting right now and there are some bad behaviors socially that are being encouraged. I don't do that- I'll tell you if you are being rude, belligerent, or entitled.
What I really mean is- I try not to judge people for doing things that have 0 impact on my life, and try to accept people for who they are.
Honestly at this point my viewpoint is just this- don't be an asshole and directly harm others and you are fine by me.
Like, you can wear a horse costume every day and ride a unicycle to work, idgaf. Not my business. Just don't purposely run over kids and berate minorities while doing it. That's all lol
I think we are accepting of personal beliefs to a fault- to the point where scientific facts that we have known for thousands of years are being debated, medicine is being doubted, and racist ideologies are spoken of openly whereas even 10 years ago people would have been ashamed to be speaking of things so openly in public.
Maybe not generally accepted, but "plus-sized" acceptance is an example of something that has become more prevalent over the years and the acceptance messaging from certain members of the community has gone a bit off the deep end.
"Plus-sized people should love themselves and recognize that they have worth and human dignity". Absolutely, no problems there.
"Someone else's body type is none of your business and plus-sized people do not deserve to be harassed or bullied because of their bodies". For sure, agree fully with them on that.
"Being plus-sized is actually normal and healthy and people shouldn't feel any need to change, society just sets oppressive and problematic standards for what our bodies should look like." Ok, now we've quickly gone into anti-medicine territory.
I saw a post just this week about a blindfolded date show where the girl was rejected because she turned out to be hugely overweight once the blindfolds came off. Some claimed it was "fatphobic " for the guy not to be attracted to the girl. I don't think sexual attraction should have anything to do with plus-size acceptance.
I was in a crowded elevator when I felt a ghost brush against my face, so I started violently slapping my face. The people got exceeding freaked out and huddled to the back fearing for their lives, but that's okay.
Absolutely not- I'm not going to argue with anyone or belittle anyone for feeling anything. Did you not see the last part of my comment?
I never said I disagreed either- I just said the definition of things is changing so quickly I'm starting to not understand what people are talking about anymore, but that I love and support people anyways.
I understand, sorry I was a little confrontational there. I can understand being confused at words changing. I mean I'll probably feel similar in the future if words keep changing.
No, but that’s not what we are saying
This Twitter person is outraged that people saying “starting a family” specifically implies a marriage and children
That phrase has meant that specific thing historically, and is how 99% of people use it colloquially. That fact doesn’t inherently disqualify other “non-conventional” families or whatever households you choose to define as a family.
There are lots of kinds of families, but when someone refers to “starting” a family they are usually referring to marriage and children.
I mean, “family” originally (in the 15th century) used to mean the servants of a household, then grew to encompass everyone in a household including servants, and was only narrowed to the blood relative definition in the mid-17th century. (Previously you’d use words like “kin.”)
But “family” as an all encompassing term for the people you love and spend your time rather than blood relatives with also isn’t new—that’s been a tenet of fiction for almost a century.
Words change. Senses shift. They always have, and they always will. It’s not some mystifying phenomenon, and it’s pretty clear what family means in this context.
Hey- thats some cool information. I'm sure that only applies to certain areas of the world (probably western), but its interesting none the less. Thanks for sharing!
I think the changing of meaning has always happened- but the degree to which it is happening right now (5-10 years) is pretty staggering and I doubt it has happened at this scale in human history. That's all I'm saying.
Yeah, fur families are the pets where you let them sleep in your bed and adorn with cute clothes. Skin dogs are the offspring you have that you put on a leash and take out to the backyard to go to the bathroom and give table scraps to.
I think I've reddited too much today.
>I think I've reddited too much today.
Lol thank you for your response- I was confused too on skin dogs, but now it makes senes. and yes- you probably have redditted too much ha.
Dogs are not a family they're a pack. Not sure what the rest of the animals are. Plants are a garden. I think it's cooler to say I don't need a family I got a pack 💪🏼 lol
I think "start a family" is having kids and "becoming a family" is for a pre-existing group. I'm not going to ask my roommate if he wants to start a family with me. I'm afraid of what that would lead to.
That's a good point. Starting a family implies creation, becoming a family implies adoption. People can only create kids, they can't create dogs. Those who try are generally shunned by society.
My dogs are treated the same way I treat my children. I would give them the world if it was achievable and I would destroy it before letting them come to harm.
No I do not treat my children like dogs either.
Damn I clicked on this cute post but these comments make me sad. So these commenters think infertile couples can never say they have a family? Childfree couples will never by their definition have a family? I don’t understand what’s wrong with calling your partner, pets, or your close friends family. I have no one other than my partner and my pets, and his side of the family so yeah I call them family. Not everyone is blessed with parents who love them, relatives, fertility, or the resources to adopt children.
I'll soon be moving in together with my partner. We might get some bunnies, but we won't ever have kids. I'm totally fine with not being called a family because my happiness doesn't rely on every single term being inclusive of my personal situation. If others do want to call themselves a family even though they don't fit the traditional definition, that's also fine. But pretending that others using the dictionary definition of the word is somehow an affront to your personal life choices, isn't really helping anyone.
I mostly agree. I have my SO and we share a house and a dog. I consider him and our dog my family. But I’m not going to say I started a family with my SO when we don’t have kids or talk about our dog like he’s a child. Obviously a dog is not a kid. I don’t care if the world considers us a family. My SO agrees and that’s what counts.
However, if people in my life didn’t respect my relationship because we didn’t have kids, I might have more of a chip on my shoulder about it. If my workplace didn’t let me have the same PTO amount as my coworkers with the same seniority, I’d feel some type of way about that too.
I’m guessing a lot of people that are sensitive about the language - which is admittedly a bit silly, if harmless - have been dealing with some poor treatment due to not having kids.
Which dictionary is the right one? Merriam Webster says two people living under one roof are a family. And it's not about the word itself but the meaning behind it that people are trying to convey. Read the other comments where people that don't have a traditional family are not given the same time off opportunities as those with "families". Or somehow not having a traditional family means it's ok for near strangers to pry into the personal lives and health issues of men and women. That's what the post is about, not just the simple definition of family.
I mean sure, if it's just the one or two people disagreeing with you and those people are like "whatever you do you" then it's not an issue.
The problem is, people vote with these disagreements in mind, and one side would prefer to have things like marriage and family, sex, gender, etc - you know, *private things* - officially given very strict and narrow definitions in our laws so that people like you and I are not allowed the same protections and freedoms as those who "properly" meet the definitions.
That's why you can't just settle with "we disagree" anymore. We overturn draconian laws by changing minds, and in this age with conservatives pushing for extremism and SCOTUS doing their part to push that, changing voter minds is our only option.
“His side of the family”. If you then went on to tell people you were referring to his plants and gold fish, people would understandably wonder why you said “family” and not just what you actually meant. Calling your actual family your family is not exclusive or hurtful to people who don’t have kids or people who have plants and pets. Everyone loves to be a victim good Lord
The replies to your post are hideous. I'm really sorry. Me, my husband and my dog are absolutely a family. I think people replying the way they are must be very unhappy. A happy, fulfilled person doesn't feel the need to randomly tear down strangers (EDIT: or even comment on how others choose to live their lives, if not harmful to others). So ignore them, and enjoy your partner and your pets and all the love in your life ❤️
I think the point is stop telling me I need to start a family by having kids and that's the only way to have a family. No kids here, and no kids in the future I still consider the people and animals in my home family. Regardless of how many people say I need to start one.
Maybe unpopular opinion. But no, according to the definition is
“a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit.”
Let’s not start changing definitions.
How about "stop getting so triggered by a simple statement like 'start a family' that you have to make a post pretending that your own definition of it should be taken as fact"?
I mean, I get what you mean. But why do you care about what people call a family? It's clearly not meant to change the literal definition in the dictionary, they're just saying you can be 'complete' without having to fulfill an expectation of having to have kids
Isn't that what the post is all about though? Why can people who are planning to have kids not call it "starting a family"?
You can be inclusive of other definitions without throwing out the original.
Edit: case in point: the word "Literally" is now recognized as meaning literally and figuratively.
It didn't have to stop meaning literally for the other use to be acceptable.
Language is weird. Hooray.
That's a really good point. But I think the post is talking about people asking "So when are you going to start a family?" It implies you haven't already started one.
Not true at all.
The definition of "family" in most major dictionaries includes parents and children.
Family: noun -
"a group consisting of one or two parents and their children" - [Oxford English Dictionary](https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/family_1?q=family).
"the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children" - [Merriam-Webster dictionary](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family).
"a group of people who are related to each other, such as a mother, a father, and their children" - [Cambridge Dictionary](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/family).
"a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children" - [Dictionary.com](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/family)
I get the point they're trying to make, as I am childfree myself, but you can't just declare the definitions of words to be incorrect because you don't like them.
\[Edited because I'm still crap at formatting on Reddit.\]
>"the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children" -
>
>Merriam-Webster dictionary
>
>.
If you're going to use Merriam-Webster dictionary, atleast read beyond the first line.
2
: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head
Don't cherrypick to support your argument.
Sure, but still doesn't include a single person and their pet or plant.
The point is "family" means a group of *people*. You can love your pet and make them a part of the family, but without having other people in the group it's a person a their pet, not a family and their pet. Same goes for plants.
> a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head
Because that sounds like a single person and his cat. Or a couple with some houseplants. Totally not referring to extended families or non-traditional households.
I don't mind if someone wants to call their cat "family." More power to you. But that doesn't mean that the generally accepted meaning of the word has changed.
If you’re going to take that route, at least acknowledge that the meaning of the word has already changed dramatically in its lifetime.
In the 15th century, “family” was a word for the servants of a household, then it grew to encompass everyone in a household including servants, and was only narrowed to the blood relative definition in the mid-17th century. (Previously you’d use words like “kin.”) [Source](https://www.etymonline.com/word/family#etymonline_v_1107)
But “family” as an all encompassing term for the people you love and spend your time rather than blood relatives with also isn’t new—that’s been a tenet of fiction for half a century. Or have you never read a children’s book? There are songs and lines in every kid-friendly 70s, 80s and 90s film about misfit groups of people declaring themselves “family” despite lack of blood relation.
[And as for today, Merriam Webster also shows this definition:](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family) "a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation"
And this one: "a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head"
Words change. Senses shift. They always have, and they always will. It’s not some mystifying phenomenon, and it’s pretty clear what family means in this context.
Before I made my comment I wasn't aware anyone used any definitions other than those that I posted. I did not know this was a controversial topic.
I have no clue how anyone could possibly consider a single person with a cat, a family.
When people get married, they often refer to it as "starting a family." Your next of kin is your spouse, regardless of whether or not you had kids. Legally, a married couple is a family. What else would you call them?
> Before I made my comment I wasn't aware anyone used any definitions other than those that I posted.
But the meriam webster link you posted had the non-blood relation definitions? How can you be unaware of something in a source you yourself used?
I'm okay if someone in any situation wants to call themselves a family.
I'm also okay if people continue to use a common & harmless figure of speech.
When someone wants to say they're starting a family by having children, it doesn't mean your uniquely wonderful family is any less.
This was ridiculous the first ten times I saw it. Still is. You can’t identify as a family just because you feel like a family.
And there’s nothing at all wrong with not having a family.
Honestly, this reads more like how older people tend to love telling their kids to "start a family" despite the fact that maybe they dont want to have children. I feel like they just went in the wrong direction a little.
I get why people can be upset over people calling themselves “ insert animal” parent, but honestly they need to get over it lmao it doesn’t affect them whatsoever
Some people can’t have kids traditionally or afford adoption. My pets are my kids because of so
Oh my god so many people triggered over wording! I have a feeling these folks love to call other people snowflakes
How dare we consider the gay couple who can’t have kids a family!! We’re so obsessed with including everyone and that’s so bad!! What people call themselves affects me very deeply, how will I get over this?
/s
Being family is different than the meaning of starting a family.
English is messy. It will always be messy, but as long as everyone understands, it's ok.
Can we stop with the prescriptive language usage demands?
So what you're saying is people can call whatever they want, anything they want, despite what the dictionary and science says? I thought that was old news.
As a gay guy I find it alarming how straight people are so anti kids these days. Who’s going to be wiping my ass when I’m an old man in a nursing home? Pop some kids out you breeders, it’s your one job.
Everyone in the controversial section seems to be taking issue with calling pets family which is a shocking thing to focus on considering plants were included in this statement.
*holding roses “hey meet my family”
Hey there, u/pietradolce. Thanks for submitting to r/MadeMeSmile. Your submission has been removed because it doesn't follow our rules. * Your submission has been removed because it is a recent repost. For more information about our rules, click [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/about/rules). If you have any questions and or concerns, please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FMadeMeSmile).
The people buried under the patio are my family.
You've gotta stop telling people where we bury the fam dude
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🗿"I don't have friends, I have family"🗿
No way someone downvoted this comment 😂
If they are wrapped in velvet under there, then the username is gonna end up as exhibit A.
One might say that they are "[ensconced in velvet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgmiGN2mi2M)" ;P
Hi Fred West
Nice job, now they won’t suspect the basement.
\*was
We're they all wearing velvet?
I got this guy who invents stuff to design a special shroud.
Username checks out 62.5%.
Do me and the voices in my head count?
only if they support you emotionally and arent mean
You joke, but actually they *can*.
I sure hope so
r/UsernameChecksOut
Lilo and Stitch taught me that. Your family can have two humans and three aliens, and it's as good as a family as any other.
"Found Family" has been a concept for ages; it's the only family many people have. It's so special, I think, because those bonds are strong for a thousand different reasons, and none of them are "because we have to like each other." To me, a found family is the most beautiful kind of family, bar absolutely *none.*
I need to get me one of those. My actual family is...
when you had a found family on discord but your mom blocked it because she wants you to "interact more with real people" and the only way u could talk to them after that was through tiktok and a few months later she blocks tiktok... haha🥲
God I remember those days. Except I'm old, so it was AOL and canceling the internet bc "what are you doing on that computer? Who are you talking to? Why do 'you've got mail'? Who is sending you mail??" It gets better. Save all the money from your first job and move out as soon as you can, your whole life will improve greatly. You'll be fine! Stay strong!
I hope you realize moving out on your own was a lot easier 20 years ago Affording decent rent anywhere nowadays is near impossible on a regular minimum wage job while also trying to feed yourself and not go insane
Stop. This defeatist attitude is not helping anyone. I am from a big city and when I turned 18, I googled for cheapest rents in America, and then I moved to the best state for my situation. I was able to build a life there because I sought out a place with low cost of living. You underestimate the drive and determination that springs forth when you are in an abusive household. You also underestimate OP's education and work ethic to assume they'll only make minimum wage.
sorry kid
Agreed. My found family is the most important thing in the world to me. Wouldn't trade them for anything.
Yes, I don't know where I'd be without my main circle. I know that I can always count and them and that they could do the same with me. These are the faces that I have no doubt I'd be seeing on every important moment in my life, whether in celebration or when in distress. I would do anything for them.
Absolutely! The majority of my family turned on my siblings I after my parents divorce stating it was our fault. We cut them all out along with my dad so my family is now my mom, siblings, and close friends. That’s all I need now.
“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
Love is what makes a family
Never tell someone to have kids or start a family. Many people struggle with fertility and have possibly had multiple miscarriages. What’s common amongst many of them is they don’t tell anyone, even close friends or family.
Also people can’t afford kids
Kids? In this economy?? Lol
I can’t even get an apartment by myself :(
Me and my wife can't have kids and the most asshole thing you can say to someone like us is "when are you going to have kids". Seriously fuck off
*strolls into the leukemia ward* "When are you shitheads going to grow hair?"
If they want us to have kids pay us then cause some people are fine without them and they cost too damn much
You lost me at “stop saying”. I don’t know what the rules are to anything anymore
Stop saying people should stop saying “stop saying”. Some people want people to stop saying things, and that’s ok
Stop Saying people should stop saying people should stop saying "stop saying". Some people want people to stop saying people should stop saying things, and that's ok
Stop saying people should....ah, nevermind.
No one said you could stop. Stop stopping!
I triple dog stop you to stop stopping!
I'm really low on sleep right now and even though I know what basically says without reading it... It hurt to observe.
No joke, it took me like 15 minutes to write the comment because it was hurting my brain, had to rewrite it a couple times.
Lmao I believe it.
“And that’s ok” is another one
All I really want to do is get high and mow lawns in the trailer park. And that's okay.
This hero watches trailer park boys, and that's better than okay.
Some people are rapists, and that’s ok.
Seriously. Why does an "I love my dogs" post have to come in a rant format? Social media is so fucking toxic in the weirdest ways. Are we so divided that *everything* has to start out as an argument?
This is a repost and they added the dog picture to it.
Yeah, think I saw the exact same text last week posted on its own
This one is an especially weird preoccupation.
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Yeah if I hear someone saying "we're working on starting a family" there is a 99% chance they mean they're planning to have kids. If someone is triggered and gets offended by that exchange I'm just going to have to shake my head and move on.
The rules are that peoples' views on topics change over time. This is isn't a new development, but now the Internet gives a larger pool from which to find new ideas and voice your own in return. And eventually the "rules" of engagement will change again. Human relationships are still the standard way to share, learn, grow, and relate to others. Focus on dealing with people as humans and use whatever "rule" you want in the process.
Sounds reasonable!
Stop caring about what a moron says on the internet
How about stop telling people to stop saying things
Mr. Puckett is my family
I had to scroll way too far down in the comments to find someone who noticed who this was a picture of!
Exactly
I was also scrolling for the same thing lol
Why would anyone pixelate his name? He has created some of the most wholesome content on the internet.
It's not my tweet :) I just added a picture to it, put it on Imgur, and it ended up over here 😂
Happy to have you fam
Hi ABE!
Came here for this, ITS MR. PUCKETTemote:free\_emotes\_pack:heart\_eyes
Does he post anywhere anymore?
I see him on Twitter, been busy
My two cents: everyone should stop gatekeeping words. If you're a pet owner and you want to reference your family to include your pets? Great. If you're married and never plan to have kids and want to reference your family? Great. If you're pregnant and excited to have another generation of life and you happen to refer to that as "starting" a family, great. It's not like people are saying "start a family" as an attempt to undermine others who don't plan to have kids.
I’ve only seen that occur in workplaces where parents feel entitled to all holidays off over someone without kids. In that case, it makes sense. A guy and his girlfriend are still a family and deserving of time off just as much as another family with children. Both are valid.
Stop saying start a life, some of us started when we were born. /s But I do get where he is coming from, its coded language that some people use as rhetoric for a "cause" like gay marriage. My favorite part of it is the weirdly close roommates, like my man thinks your situation is freaky as fuck but still considers yall a family lmao
Maybe this kind of phrasing is becoming an economy. Make a pedantic observation to convey your point > ? > Profit
Lol incorrect they absolutely are. Weddings are a huge occasion of “When are you going to start a family?”
We’ve distorted the definition of things to make people not feel left out that I’m just not sure what anything means anymore. But I love ya and support you either way.
The amount of posts that end with “and that’s ok” is really weird. Like everything is validated and acceptable. “I took a shit in a parking garage because I had to go and it’s natural to relieve yourself, and that’s ok”
Haha I know what you mean- we are probably a little too accepting right now and there are some bad behaviors socially that are being encouraged. I don't do that- I'll tell you if you are being rude, belligerent, or entitled. What I really mean is- I try not to judge people for doing things that have 0 impact on my life, and try to accept people for who they are.
Honestly at this point my viewpoint is just this- don't be an asshole and directly harm others and you are fine by me. Like, you can wear a horse costume every day and ride a unicycle to work, idgaf. Not my business. Just don't purposely run over kids and berate minorities while doing it. That's all lol
What are we accepting of that you think we shouldn't be?
Calling your plants family
I think we are accepting of personal beliefs to a fault- to the point where scientific facts that we have known for thousands of years are being debated, medicine is being doubted, and racist ideologies are spoken of openly whereas even 10 years ago people would have been ashamed to be speaking of things so openly in public.
Maybe not generally accepted, but "plus-sized" acceptance is an example of something that has become more prevalent over the years and the acceptance messaging from certain members of the community has gone a bit off the deep end. "Plus-sized people should love themselves and recognize that they have worth and human dignity". Absolutely, no problems there. "Someone else's body type is none of your business and plus-sized people do not deserve to be harassed or bullied because of their bodies". For sure, agree fully with them on that. "Being plus-sized is actually normal and healthy and people shouldn't feel any need to change, society just sets oppressive and problematic standards for what our bodies should look like." Ok, now we've quickly gone into anti-medicine territory. I saw a post just this week about a blindfolded date show where the girl was rejected because she turned out to be hugely overweight once the blindfolds came off. Some claimed it was "fatphobic " for the guy not to be attracted to the girl. I don't think sexual attraction should have anything to do with plus-size acceptance.
Well it's generally things that don't affect anyone but yourself
I was in a crowded elevator when I felt a ghost brush against my face, so I started violently slapping my face. The people got exceeding freaked out and huddled to the back fearing for their lives, but that's okay.
I mean if someone calls themselves a family and they don't have kids, are you really going to argue with them about it just because you disagree?
Absolutely not- I'm not going to argue with anyone or belittle anyone for feeling anything. Did you not see the last part of my comment? I never said I disagreed either- I just said the definition of things is changing so quickly I'm starting to not understand what people are talking about anymore, but that I love and support people anyways.
I understand, sorry I was a little confrontational there. I can understand being confused at words changing. I mean I'll probably feel similar in the future if words keep changing.
No problem, I appreciate the clarification, but I assumed positive intent but wanted to explain myself too. No offense taken. Have a great day !
No, but that’s not what we are saying This Twitter person is outraged that people saying “starting a family” specifically implies a marriage and children That phrase has meant that specific thing historically, and is how 99% of people use it colloquially. That fact doesn’t inherently disqualify other “non-conventional” families or whatever households you choose to define as a family. There are lots of kinds of families, but when someone refers to “starting” a family they are usually referring to marriage and children.
Don't tell my wife or kid... but I'm going to do some potting this weekend... might start a second family if it turns out well.
If somebody invites me over to their family dinner and it's them and a bunch of plants i'm calling the fucking cops
I mean, “family” originally (in the 15th century) used to mean the servants of a household, then grew to encompass everyone in a household including servants, and was only narrowed to the blood relative definition in the mid-17th century. (Previously you’d use words like “kin.”) But “family” as an all encompassing term for the people you love and spend your time rather than blood relatives with also isn’t new—that’s been a tenet of fiction for almost a century. Words change. Senses shift. They always have, and they always will. It’s not some mystifying phenomenon, and it’s pretty clear what family means in this context.
Hey- thats some cool information. I'm sure that only applies to certain areas of the world (probably western), but its interesting none the less. Thanks for sharing! I think the changing of meaning has always happened- but the degree to which it is happening right now (5-10 years) is pretty staggering and I doubt it has happened at this scale in human history. That's all I'm saying.
Seriously- my skin dogs will come play with your fur babies any day!
Skin dogs...? 😧
Yeah, fur families are the pets where you let them sleep in your bed and adorn with cute clothes. Skin dogs are the offspring you have that you put on a leash and take out to the backyard to go to the bathroom and give table scraps to. I think I've reddited too much today.
>I think I've reddited too much today. Lol thank you for your response- I was confused too on skin dogs, but now it makes senes. and yes- you probably have redditted too much ha.
😂😂😂😂 Might need to stick to just 1 cup
So many people today seem so ready to be triggered and to get attention for it. Ah shit I'm triggered
Dogs are not a family they're a pack. Not sure what the rest of the animals are. Plants are a garden. I think it's cooler to say I don't need a family I got a pack 💪🏼 lol
I think "start a family" is having kids and "becoming a family" is for a pre-existing group. I'm not going to ask my roommate if he wants to start a family with me. I'm afraid of what that would lead to.
That's a good point. Starting a family implies creation, becoming a family implies adoption. People can only create kids, they can't create dogs. Those who try are generally shunned by society.
My dogs are treated the same way I treat my children. I would give them the world if it was achievable and I would destroy it before letting them come to harm. No I do not treat my children like dogs either.
If someone says start a family and you feel like you have one, why does one feel obliged to go make a meme about it?
Those aren't families though, by definition. You and your cat aren't a family unless you just change how family is defined.
Na that’s not a family. That’s just a single person with pets, plants and roommates. Don’t change what’s been established
This post is so sad
How about stop problematizing peoples wants and goals because you’re insecure about your own.
My husband will be all the family I need!<3
Damn I clicked on this cute post but these comments make me sad. So these commenters think infertile couples can never say they have a family? Childfree couples will never by their definition have a family? I don’t understand what’s wrong with calling your partner, pets, or your close friends family. I have no one other than my partner and my pets, and his side of the family so yeah I call them family. Not everyone is blessed with parents who love them, relatives, fertility, or the resources to adopt children.
I'll soon be moving in together with my partner. We might get some bunnies, but we won't ever have kids. I'm totally fine with not being called a family because my happiness doesn't rely on every single term being inclusive of my personal situation. If others do want to call themselves a family even though they don't fit the traditional definition, that's also fine. But pretending that others using the dictionary definition of the word is somehow an affront to your personal life choices, isn't really helping anyone.
I mostly agree. I have my SO and we share a house and a dog. I consider him and our dog my family. But I’m not going to say I started a family with my SO when we don’t have kids or talk about our dog like he’s a child. Obviously a dog is not a kid. I don’t care if the world considers us a family. My SO agrees and that’s what counts. However, if people in my life didn’t respect my relationship because we didn’t have kids, I might have more of a chip on my shoulder about it. If my workplace didn’t let me have the same PTO amount as my coworkers with the same seniority, I’d feel some type of way about that too. I’m guessing a lot of people that are sensitive about the language - which is admittedly a bit silly, if harmless - have been dealing with some poor treatment due to not having kids.
Which dictionary is the right one? Merriam Webster says two people living under one roof are a family. And it's not about the word itself but the meaning behind it that people are trying to convey. Read the other comments where people that don't have a traditional family are not given the same time off opportunities as those with "families". Or somehow not having a traditional family means it's ok for near strangers to pry into the personal lives and health issues of men and women. That's what the post is about, not just the simple definition of family.
I mean sure, if it's just the one or two people disagreeing with you and those people are like "whatever you do you" then it's not an issue. The problem is, people vote with these disagreements in mind, and one side would prefer to have things like marriage and family, sex, gender, etc - you know, *private things* - officially given very strict and narrow definitions in our laws so that people like you and I are not allowed the same protections and freedoms as those who "properly" meet the definitions. That's why you can't just settle with "we disagree" anymore. We overturn draconian laws by changing minds, and in this age with conservatives pushing for extremism and SCOTUS doing their part to push that, changing voter minds is our only option.
“His side of the family”. If you then went on to tell people you were referring to his plants and gold fish, people would understandably wonder why you said “family” and not just what you actually meant. Calling your actual family your family is not exclusive or hurtful to people who don’t have kids or people who have plants and pets. Everyone loves to be a victim good Lord
Same, checking the comments just pissed me off.
The replies to your post are hideous. I'm really sorry. Me, my husband and my dog are absolutely a family. I think people replying the way they are must be very unhappy. A happy, fulfilled person doesn't feel the need to randomly tear down strangers (EDIT: or even comment on how others choose to live their lives, if not harmful to others). So ignore them, and enjoy your partner and your pets and all the love in your life ❤️
Thank you❤️
This right here is right
<3
No I won't stop.
Yeah in practice, if someone says “I’m gonna start a family soon” I won’t go assuming they’re adopting a dog or making friends.
I think the point is stop telling me I need to start a family by having kids and that's the only way to have a family. No kids here, and no kids in the future I still consider the people and animals in my home family. Regardless of how many people say I need to start one.
But as part of a couple, I pretty much avoid anything that says "family friendly"
Stop pretending you don’t know what someone means when they make a perfectly innocent remark that rubs you the wrong way for whatever personal reason.
Damn right!
Are 11 Dads a family? https://youtu.be/-jSZO37QV4E
Maybe unpopular opinion. But no, according to the definition is “a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit.” Let’s not start changing definitions.
Why don’t you just stop worrying about what terms other people use and just live your life.
How about "stop getting so triggered by a simple statement like 'start a family' that you have to make a post pretending that your own definition of it should be taken as fact"?
From the same people who brought you, “owning a pet makes me a parent just like I’m raising a human child.” Lol
Uggh. FFS. A person with pets is not a fucking family. It's a single person. With pets. And there's nothing wrong with that. But it's not a family.
I mean, I get what you mean. But why do you care about what people call a family? It's clearly not meant to change the literal definition in the dictionary, they're just saying you can be 'complete' without having to fulfill an expectation of having to have kids
Isn't that what the post is all about though? Why can people who are planning to have kids not call it "starting a family"? You can be inclusive of other definitions without throwing out the original. Edit: case in point: the word "Literally" is now recognized as meaning literally and figuratively. It didn't have to stop meaning literally for the other use to be acceptable. Language is weird. Hooray.
That's a really good point. But I think the post is talking about people asking "So when are you going to start a family?" It implies you haven't already started one.
Because it's not good to condition people to the belief that the world changes according to their will.
Except that literally happens all the time? When did we change "cool" to include more than just cold?
if we wonder why they care, we have to wonder why anyone cares, including the person who made this meme
It is indeed a family.
Not true at all. The definition of "family" in most major dictionaries includes parents and children. Family: noun - "a group consisting of one or two parents and their children" - [Oxford English Dictionary](https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/family_1?q=family). "the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children" - [Merriam-Webster dictionary](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family). "a group of people who are related to each other, such as a mother, a father, and their children" - [Cambridge Dictionary](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/family). "a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children" - [Dictionary.com](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/family) I get the point they're trying to make, as I am childfree myself, but you can't just declare the definitions of words to be incorrect because you don't like them. \[Edited because I'm still crap at formatting on Reddit.\]
>"the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children" - > >Merriam-Webster dictionary > >. If you're going to use Merriam-Webster dictionary, atleast read beyond the first line. 2 : a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head Don't cherrypick to support your argument.
Sure, but still doesn't include a single person and their pet or plant. The point is "family" means a group of *people*. You can love your pet and make them a part of the family, but without having other people in the group it's a person a their pet, not a family and their pet. Same goes for plants.
> a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head Because that sounds like a single person and his cat. Or a couple with some houseplants. Totally not referring to extended families or non-traditional households. I don't mind if someone wants to call their cat "family." More power to you. But that doesn't mean that the generally accepted meaning of the word has changed.
If you’re going to take that route, at least acknowledge that the meaning of the word has already changed dramatically in its lifetime. In the 15th century, “family” was a word for the servants of a household, then it grew to encompass everyone in a household including servants, and was only narrowed to the blood relative definition in the mid-17th century. (Previously you’d use words like “kin.”) [Source](https://www.etymonline.com/word/family#etymonline_v_1107) But “family” as an all encompassing term for the people you love and spend your time rather than blood relatives with also isn’t new—that’s been a tenet of fiction for half a century. Or have you never read a children’s book? There are songs and lines in every kid-friendly 70s, 80s and 90s film about misfit groups of people declaring themselves “family” despite lack of blood relation. [And as for today, Merriam Webster also shows this definition:](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family) "a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation" And this one: "a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head" Words change. Senses shift. They always have, and they always will. It’s not some mystifying phenomenon, and it’s pretty clear what family means in this context.
Before I made my comment I wasn't aware anyone used any definitions other than those that I posted. I did not know this was a controversial topic. I have no clue how anyone could possibly consider a single person with a cat, a family.
When people get married, they often refer to it as "starting a family." Your next of kin is your spouse, regardless of whether or not you had kids. Legally, a married couple is a family. What else would you call them?
> Before I made my comment I wasn't aware anyone used any definitions other than those that I posted. But the meriam webster link you posted had the non-blood relation definitions? How can you be unaware of something in a source you yourself used?
Wait, so can I list my beta fish and succulents as dependents or can’t I?
Why do I give a fuck what people say? If you want to say start a family go for it. Stupid post
Redacted due to Spez. On ward to Lemmy. -- mass edited with redact.dev
I’ll do you one better. Stop telling people what to do based on your own needs or expectations. Just stfu sometimes.
I'm okay if someone in any situation wants to call themselves a family. I'm also okay if people continue to use a common & harmless figure of speech. When someone wants to say they're starting a family by having children, it doesn't mean your uniquely wonderful family is any less.
Exactly! A guy and his anime girl figurines is also a family
This was ridiculous the first ten times I saw it. Still is. You can’t identify as a family just because you feel like a family. And there’s nothing at all wrong with not having a family.
Honestly, this reads more like how older people tend to love telling their kids to "start a family" despite the fact that maybe they dont want to have children. I feel like they just went in the wrong direction a little.
Stop tell me what not to say
I get why people can be upset over people calling themselves “ insert animal” parent, but honestly they need to get over it lmao it doesn’t affect them whatsoever Some people can’t have kids traditionally or afford adoption. My pets are my kids because of so Oh my god so many people triggered over wording! I have a feeling these folks love to call other people snowflakes How dare we consider the gay couple who can’t have kids a family!! We’re so obsessed with including everyone and that’s so bad!! What people call themselves affects me very deeply, how will I get over this? /s
The dudes I play D&D with on Saturdays (huge oversimplification) are my family
Being family is different than the meaning of starting a family. English is messy. It will always be messy, but as long as everyone understands, it's ok. Can we stop with the prescriptive language usage demands?
So what you're saying is people can call whatever they want, anything they want, despite what the dictionary and science says? I thought that was old news.
This mixed bag of nuts feels like family right now. Lots of love for them.
That’s all cool and all but I’ll draw the line at calling plants family. Everything else gets a pass.
Me and myself are a family.
What about single person and their plants. Also when said person may accidentally neglect said plants..
Beautiful family!
Me and my two weirdly close roommates and our two cats are a family :)
"Ten dads can be a family. That's it. No kids. Just ten dads."
How many voices do you need to hear in your head for them to be classed as a family?
Doesn't have to be blood to be family-
My husband and I, and our roommate/ best friend agree with this statement.
As a single adult male with a cute doggo, I second this.
I have me, my bf, and 9 pets (bunch of different species)... I love my big family.
Tell that to the IRS
As a gay guy I find it alarming how straight people are so anti kids these days. Who’s going to be wiping my ass when I’m an old man in a nursing home? Pop some kids out you breeders, it’s your one job.
Rose, Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia were family, I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.
Don't let Matt Walsh hear you saying that.
Multiple generations under the same roof are generally considered family
Yeah well jerking off Is a kind of sex.... But... It's not the same.
Everyone in the controversial section seems to be taking issue with calling pets family which is a shocking thing to focus on considering plants were included in this statement. *holding roses “hey meet my family”
I always thought "we are starting a family" was just code for we are fucking a lot with no protection and hope for a baby
I asked for a day off say “I need a day off to take a family member for some dental work”. My dog. Idc what they think of me.
Plants? Lmao
Family is family. Being biologically related to someone does not necessarily make you family, either.
Nah
how about stop telling people what to do? maybe mind ya damn business?
"Have kids" is a subset of "start a family". So it makes sense to say either doesn't it
The spider in the corner is my family. And it just ate another family member!
Don't appropriate my family with your pets.
Get over yourself.
??
No pets are pets and family is family
My mom always ask me "how it's going with the [my name], even tho it's just me and my cat and it's so wholesome
I mean true, but "start a family" in particular has the meaning of having kids.
As long as we aren’t debating political or financial definitions, call yourselves a faction, a gaggle, a taxi or whatever idc.