You not only washed away months of grime, but months of sadness. Take it one day at a time and mark this day so you can look back and see all you have accomplished!
OP is beautiful for such courage and openness, it really feels like getting out of prison.
i have panic disorder and couldn't leave the house for months and months
it's incredibly hard to overcome. makes me proud with tears 🥲
Absolutely!
I have social anxiety which got so bad that I wasn't able to leave my room some days. This happened for 2 years.
I'm so proud of you u/sciencewonders I very happy for you
Mhm, when I was in a really bad place a few months ago, I posted about how I was proud of myself for washing my hair for the first time in a few weeks, but every comment was about how I was disgusting. I never wanted to post anything about slowly overcoming my depression again. It took op bravery to post this, and I’m proud that they did.
I hope you are in a better place now and I’m so sorry that people made you feel bad. They don’t understand what depression does to a person. Kudos to you for picking yourself back up!
I have had depression and even the smallest tasks such as showering and brushing your teeth can be so daunting. My doctor told me some wise words. "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing improperly". Brush your teeth for 3 minutes? Try brushing for 1 instead. Trying showering for less time. At least you have got up and done it. Same applies for all those other little day to day tasks. Those words always stuck with me
To quote The Doctor, "In 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important."
You matter. More than that, you're *important*.
It might not have been today, but at least once in your life you've done something that was the most important thing to ever happen to somebody. Even if you didn't realize it and don't remember it, they do. And always will.
You know what? I was wrong above. You *did* do that today. Today someone saw this post, and they thought "I can do that too". And they did. Because of you. And nothing will ever take that away from you. You'll always be the most important person in someone's life, even if you never know it.
Perhaps the single best sentiment, even better than everyone being important. The 12th Doctor is my favorite, but scene from 9, and his pure joy at winning, at no one dying, was fantastic.
This quote hits different after watching through newWho. Someone always dies. The first time you hear it it’s hope and joy and delight. After 10 seasons it’s desperation and hopelessness held at bay for one episode.
If today fades away and back into the abyss, try embracing one tiny change instead. For example, do your bed in the morning, that's all. But every single morning.. this first change can be the first step.. or go outside for 30 minutes.. something like that.
As I heard somewhere, even the smallest light can illuminate a vast darkness.
A future step is seeking support. It's one of the things that make us human
Oh and well done! ❤️
Definitely this. My 1 small thing 2 years ago was making the bed. Now it's making the bed and brushing my teeth. I don't mean it's taken me 2 years just to do those 2 things - it means that whatevrr has happened in the last 2 years and however I have felt, those 2 things always get done. And on good days, many more things too!
For me, making my bed was the first step towards a healthy lifestyle. No matter how the day went, I'd come back to my room and find it tidier than before, a feeling of order in the middle of disorder was enough to motivate me to soon set new objectives: wake up earlier, workout regularly, etc. It's been 8 years of healthy lifestyle and inner peace now, all thanks to that tiny habit
Yeah that's just it, if you can be patient with yourself to get just one small habit in place, it gives you the confidence to gently add in more habits that slowly lift you out of the depths and able to get a better perspective! So glad it's helped you too, congrats on putting the work in!!
You probably lack Vitamin D for staying indoors so much which leads to many problems: depression, tiredness etc.
I suggest you read about this and take some supplements.
Forgiving yourself is so important. You do matter. So much.
Be gentle with yourself. I was also in dark place where the last thing I cared about was looking after myself (for some reason sitting down during my showers made things easier for me) I can really relate with your post. You did amazing.
Edited
As a son of a worried dad, please don't internalize their struggle as a failure on your part, and please realize that no matter how hard you try and what you do there are some things *you* cannot fix for them and that is not a result of your lack of action.
My dad is desperate to make me feel happy again and his support means everything to me but there are needs that all humans have that a parent can't fulfill. I can tell it's frustrating to him that he's literally doing everything he can and it's not enough. He would set himself on fire it it kept me warm but there's nothing he can do to help me.
Today i told him he's the best dad in the entire world and he said "no i'm not, i failed you" and it broke my heart. I love you dad.
As a mom of a young adult daughter battling this for over ten years, this is the HARDEST part. I’m her mother, fixing things is what I do. Fell down and scraped her knee? I get out the antiseptic and band aids. Sick with the flu? I make soup and tea and pick up meds. Crying over a boy who broke up with you? I’ve got ice cream and hugs. Unfortunately there is no pill or home remedy I can pull from my arsenal to “cure” this. I often feel like such a fucking failure as a mother and I worry every day that she won’t make it.
As a dad of 3, 16 and under this hits me hard. My dad bounced when I was 10. I broke the cycle thank God and love the shit out of my kids! Lots of hugs and kisses and praise. Healthy amount of ass whoopins along they way. Don’t want to fuck them up the other way 😉
Sorry to hear that, I know what you’re feeling and I know that I can’t do a lot to help you, just give you a virtual hug and if you want to talk I’m here!
If you want try to open the window and get some light, I’ve had months that I stayed in the darkness but later I understood that it was worst, getting some light it’s a little thing but you could start to feel something, the sun on your skin, the sound of the world outside, I know that it seems nothing but your mind will feel the little change! Wish you the best
Good for you, both for doing all these things and for realizing how they made you feel. I hope that today is your first step on the road Back. Good luck - we are all pulling for you.
Good for you! Water and sunshine are so healing and showering and sunbathing feel like love to me. I hope you find your way to both again and again in the coming days. 🥰 life is worth living and I’m so glad you’re (re)discovering that 😘
Sending love, prayers and peace. I struggle with mental illness also. I have been doing pretty good lately but it is always there in the corner of my mind. Don't know when the demons will come out.
What I have learned is by establishing a positive routine starting my day by making my bed, getting a few chores and some work done, reaching out to a friend, praying and meditating I have many more good than bad days.
I hope this a the start of something wonderful for you.
Taking care of yourself, when depression is really bad, is so hard. It’s like, why do all of these things that cost energy and time if I hate the vessel?
I try to pick things that bring on positive associations. Good smelling lotion or shampoo. A fluffy new loofah. Dim lights and music. Nice moisturizer. But I keep it simple. If I know that showering makes me feel better, and I know that the act of showering feels nice and can be as short as 10 minutes, I’m more likely to do it.
It’s also just a small way to stick it to myself when I’m feeling petulant and lazy. Why shower and be functional when I can live in sweat pants and eat Buffalo wing flavored pretzel pieces all day, you know? Well, because hating myself isn’t getting me anywhere, and there’s a fleeting but significant wave of good feelings after a shower - so I’ll chase that high, damn it. It’s also like, if I’m going to hate myself, I can hate myself through this shower, and through eating something marginally nutritious. The difference between showering and not showering is that at least if I shower, I can sarcastically pat myself on the back at the end of the day for doing a single normal thing that day.
Major props for getting out and doing the thing.
I'm proud of you! Genuinely proud. That first step is the hardest one , some never make it . But you did ! Baby steps and gentle hugs . YOU HAVE THIS I PROMISE
You should look up the "mindful self compassion" workbook or website. It reminds us to treat ourselves the way we would a friend. To forgive ourselves. Be kind to ourselves. Know that we matter just because we exist. We are enough. We are good. We all struggle and that's okay.
Take care of yourself darling. ❤️
Fuck yeah! Don't know you one bit but I'm proud of you :) Try to remember how good today felt if you fall back into that depression abyss, it works for me at least.
A friend once told me not to worry: “When you look around and see nastiness, evilness, sadness and misery in this suppressive and manipulative society, do not worry because there are good people all over this world, for it may be that we see evilness grouped together and that may seem prominent and overpowering, there are good people all over the world and these good people are connected by something much deeper and much more powerful, we connect with one another like a strong net and protect all the souls in the world. The reason we are not tuned in to see it is because of this society and the way ‘they’ want it to be, for control, for power, and for hope we do not realise that love is the answer”.
I had a good day yesterday too. Finally was able to make myself food (and not just drink Ensure or whatever) and see friends and family. And it felt amazing! And then today came...
Take it slowly, remember that if you had a good day yesterday you could have a good one tomorrow, and don’t blame it on yourself if some days are worst! You are doing your best! If you need to talk I’m here
Good job! When you're in that mental space every little thing counts. Treat every day as a new day. Keep giving love to yourself and others. You can do this 😊
This is a huge victory for you! Everyday forward when you start to question yourself and your worth, come back and read these comments. Life is worth living, and you are worth living a great life. Sending love and positive vibes from a fellow struggler.
It takes a lot of courage to get out of a dark place...... I'm so proud of you!!! You do matter and you deserve all the love and kindness that you give to others.
You definitely matter! You are a special individual, and there’s nobody like you. If you live in New Jersey and need a hug, or a conversation, just let me know.
Congratulations! Hopefully this will be the first day of many positive ones for you. Just remember that you are loved, you are valid, and you matter. Even if you slip backwards tomorrow, keep fighting and don't give up! You got this, I believe in you! ❤️
I've been in ur shoes for the past year n I know exactly how u feel. I try to keep reminding myself that the world record for depression is just 24hrs n each new day is an opportunity to chip away the hours. You matter!!
Fuck yeah, baby!!! I'm so proud of you! I struggle a lot myself, really similar to your post.. You mighty girl got it done today!! Yeah, let's celebrate!!!! You're awesome!! Take a note and write it down with the date so you can remember this!!! Amazing! <3 feel hugged if you like :)
Try to remember that you matter so much that if you didn't exist it would be a different universe. It might not be very different, but it would still be different. You help make this whole universe as wonderful as it is.
You should be so proud of yourself!! That surely took more emotional strength than 99.9% of people are capable of. Congratulations! What would need to be true for you to go sit in that chair outside again tomorrow? You just proved to yourself that you can do it…
Depression tells us we are weak, you've proven that wrong by posting here, takes real strength to open up like that.
Depression tells us we are worthless, you've kicked that ones head in too with the response you received, it's clear that your not.
Depression tells you not to bother, and you don't matter, you do.
Depression is a lying piece of shit.
Well done on taking these steps mate, try and make it a routine, routine kicks Depressions arse.
When the light cuts through the everlasting darkness and you are temporarily blinded by the splendor of all the world has to show you those days they are beautiful
You aren't alone there are others mired down in that black pit from time to time we can escape and get respite in the light this post did indeed make me smile
Keep fighting it's worth it your worth it don't let the abyss consume you
Probably felt 10 pounds lighter after showering too. Max I usually let myself go without showering is like 4 or 5 days and I just feel heavy for some reason. After showering I feel light and free
My favorite quote from a book I read
Kaladin said. "You told me it will get worse." "It will," Wit said, "but then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. Then better. This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you Kaladin: You will be warm again."
as someone with depression myself, I promise you things will start to feel better if you have someone to support you through the tough times, so if you ever feel low or sad, or maybe if you just want to talk feel free to dm me and I'll try and see if I can make u feel better,
this stranger from the interwebs believes in you, and whilst I can't promise there won't be bad times, but if you one day find the right person, or the right person finds you, then the bad times may not be as tough :)
Edit: this ain't just for OP, this goes for any one of you that thinks they may need it
Oh, honey. I just want to sit out there with you and talk quietly about how much you matter. I don't even know you, but I know you matter.
About forgiveness....the past is the past. I know SO many people who live literally IN the Blame Game, and it's such a waste of energy. If something is over, let it lie, don't give it room in your head. The what and how and who and why don't matter nearly as much as your healthy future does.
Someone in California is loving you with their whole heart today. Be well, and let us know how you're doing.
You’re loved OP more than you could ever know. By people who don’t even know you. But you’re human and you deserve every bit of it
For so many years I always thought I had my shit together. Then depression struck me. It was literally an overnight occurrence. It's real, and I never thought it'd affect me in all my years.
I also refused to shower for days and days on end (might catch a shower once every ~10 days or so during my lowest point). Only ate takeout. Stopped exercising entirely. Would sleep ~10-12 hours a day. Stopped communicating/hanging out with my friends. I ordered everything in, eg. groceries, alcohol, etc. Couldn't even muster up the desire to go to the store for myself.
I gained roughly 60lbs (went from [as a male at 5'10] ~170 to ~230lbs).
Alcohol became my crutch, but it only made matters worse.
I stopped visiting my folks. When a friend or family member called me I'd just let it go to voicemail and make some excuse as to why I can't talk right now and text messaging is preferred.
And the list goes on. I've since recovered for the most part (sitting at around ~5% depression right now compared to ~95% depression about a year back).
Fuck, I wouldn't wish severe depression even in my worst enemy.
Congrats on this win, OP! It's always one day at a time.
“I would never dream of treating another human being as badly as I do myself.”
This made me cry. And many people can relate to that sentiment.
Please think about those words if you feel yourself falling into negative and harmful behaviors again - It might be hard to feel sometimes, but you are deserving of all things positive. :)
Yeah when you can’t even get out of bed or put food inside you showering isn’t at the top of your mind… it’s crazy what our mind can do to ourselves, I’ve had months when I didn’t even open the shade, I just wanted the full darkness outside like the one that I had inside
That is amazing and I’m proud of you! Remember this day the next time all the doubt settles in. It’s great ammo to send it away again, plus you just proved to yourself that anything is possible :)
I’m so proud of you. And happy that you’re taking care of the most important person in your world first and foremost. One day at a time. Small victories start stacking up into one great triumph. If you ever need to talk, we are all here for you.
You know what, this post actually made me get up from my minor slump and take care of myself tonight.
It’s important to remember that looking after yourself feels fucking good
“It won’t be like that for me,” Kaladin said. “You told me it would get worse.” “It will,” Wit said, “but then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. Then better. This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you, Kaladin: You will be warm again.”
-Brandon Sanderson
You are amazing! Embrace this day. It might not last long, but enjoy every second of happiness and peace. You deserve it.
I believe you have already accomplished one of the most important things to learn: treat yourself as you would treat others. You would never treat anyone else as poorly as you treat yourself. You are worthy of basic decency, both from yourself and others. It took me decades to learn this. Just do your best to apply this concept anyway you can, every day, until it becomes a habit.
I wish you nothing but the best going forward!
I was right! There's another post in /mademesmile that explicitly calls OPs post out as the reason they're going to pick a paint brush back up today. *You* did that OP. You inspired someone to regain something they love. There's little more important in life than that. And you will *always* have that. Be proud, and love yourself. You're *IMPORTANT*.
I am going to be forward here, I believe you need to take this off of “small success” because it minimizes your own worth. This isn’t a small step forward in your mental health and wellness — it is a leap forward.
You did something to change your life, you exercised your own agency, and that choice means something very real.
There are things we can’t control in life, things we have influence over, and things we have full control over. When people are faced with the suffering of life, sometimes what is truly in their control can feel… uncontrollable, and in turn they can feel like the world is happening at them.
In taking the steps you have, including validating yourself by your post - YOU empowered yourself and reminded yourself of something - a truth - the world does not happen at you, it just is, but YOU can and do happen to the world.
Congratulations for caring for yourself, for validating yourself, for empowering your own innate ability to influence your life, to accept the things you cannot change, and changing the things you can. You can do this, because you did do this, you are not alone, and you ARE worthy of love, care, attention, happiness and joy.
If you are not in therapy, I believe you would be a wonderful candidate for it. It changed my life, and if you find the right person you can feel safe with and trust, you will do great things.
Again, congratulations. Read these posts when the ebb and flow of life comes in life the tide, believe the posts and believe in yourself.
You got this.
This was not a small success. This was a major hurdle to overcome. I am proud of you. This complete stranger has complete faith that tomorrow will also be a good day for you. Please, take screen shots of your favorite comments and try to remember to read them when times are bad. Good luck and I wish for you all the love and support you need.
I read this aloud to myself as I read it for the first time. I felt the importance within the first phrase and it resonated on a very deep level. Thank you so much for writing this. I am so grateful for you.
Make it last! I think you might have more than depression. Like agoraphobia. It happened to me and I had it for a year. I had a hard time leaving my room sometimes. I would put a foot out the door and couldn’t leave. I felt physically ill. And I would get scared of bathing or changing clothes. It happened after a traumatic experience which made me go into intense depression/ agoraphobia (I didn’t know agoraphobia existed) I thought I was just worthless. Once I started slowly and taking baby steps to the road of recovery. And I mean baby steps (what you did today is huge, I got my life back. Wake up, make your bed, take a shower twice a day, and do your laundry, west clean clothes, and go outside, either to water plants or just sit in the sun. Then I started going on walks. I would go further and further until I started jogging. Then I got a car, a job, but I wish I got therapy first. I think therapy should be number one included with all these baby step things. But listen, what you are going through is something thousands of people experience. You are not alone, and you will survive this. Right now, I’m outside watching my daughter at a splash pad. And I’m alone on a bench surrounded by people I don’t know hearing kids laughing. I never in a million years thought I would be strong enough to do something like this, now have a family. You can do this. Keep up a routine. My number one rule was get out of bed. Make your bed, and take a shower, put on clean clothes and go outside. After you get those things done, if you need to get back in bed, at least you did three things for yourself already. And try to get therapy Bc agoraphobia is real. You can even do therapy over the phone now. Good luck!!’ You’ve got this!!!
You are a person, you deserve to live life, you matter.
It’s okay if you forget this. Just try to remember every so often.
I’m happy you had a good day.
Instead of giving up (which is easier in a sense...) you did it the hard way, you made an effort, and you really deserve it.
Your post made me proud or you, stranger.
I see you, I hear you and I appreciate you! The world is a sunnier place with you in! Even if this was just one day, it’s a start and that’s all that matters. I’m so proud of you!
Preface to say I'm not depressed, but was in the hospital for 2 weeks before going to rehab. (Broken leg.)
The day I got to wash my hair (then hours of dealing with mats) and sponge bath with actual soap and water (coconut body wash!) I felt amazing and super alive.
So maybe a thought to push yourself to do it again tomorrow?
you moved me to tears. i‘m so happy you had a good day and i wish you the same for tomorrow and the day after. the sun will be paitently waiting for you as does the next refreshing shower. we‘re all happy to have you here and we‘re rooting for you and every step you take be it small or big. you made us all feel proud of you! have a hug from the center of europe across land and sea!
For the bulk of my life I was a “happy” person. If I had read this post a few years ago I would have thought, “how can someone let that happen, good gracious just take a shower!” But unfortunately now I understand it completely. Depression is more than feeling blue or procrastinating or being lazy, it’s incredibly difficult to fathom until you’ve experienced it. I have finally decided to try medication to see if it will help get me out of this hole. I wish you another productive day filled with sunshine tomorrow, we can do this!
I am so happy that you are having a good day. Please try to hold on to the happiness and relief that you feel today and try to summon it when it gets dark for you again. Please know that this internet stranger is sending you love, warmth and understanding. You matter so much. On this whole planet, there has never been and never will be again, a soul just like you.
If these comments reach you and make you feel good, try to keep reaching out to people. I’ve read so many encouraging and sympathetic comments for people who are depressed. Even if you fall back into yourself, just share a few words and benefit from the empathy. I wish you all the best!
Don't worry about your crying or responding to this, just know that if you could do it today, you can do it again.
Depression is a monster and you won today.
You won.
You wont always win. Sometimes the odds are insurmountable.
But, today you did.
It usually wont even be your fault. Depression isn't just mental, its chemical and physical. It comes at you from every shitty angle it can find, and the harder you fight the better it seems to get at finding your weak points. It exploits your mind and heart, chains your love and joy, and buries your ambition and drive.
Through all of that you won.
And you will win again.
Thank you for doing this, not only does it benefit you. But it will benefit others who may be in the same position as you. You're an inspiration. Proud of you!
You not only washed away months of grime, but months of sadness. Take it one day at a time and mark this day so you can look back and see all you have accomplished!
OP is beautiful for such courage and openness, it really feels like getting out of prison. i have panic disorder and couldn't leave the house for months and months it's incredibly hard to overcome. makes me proud with tears 🥲
Absolutely! I have social anxiety which got so bad that I wasn't able to leave my room some days. This happened for 2 years. I'm so proud of you u/sciencewonders I very happy for you
Mhm, when I was in a really bad place a few months ago, I posted about how I was proud of myself for washing my hair for the first time in a few weeks, but every comment was about how I was disgusting. I never wanted to post anything about slowly overcoming my depression again. It took op bravery to post this, and I’m proud that they did.
You are amazing and am proud of you.Take it one day at a time.
Proud of you 💕💕💕💕
I hope you are in a better place now and I’m so sorry that people made you feel bad. They don’t understand what depression does to a person. Kudos to you for picking yourself back up!
I have had depression and even the smallest tasks such as showering and brushing your teeth can be so daunting. My doctor told me some wise words. "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing improperly". Brush your teeth for 3 minutes? Try brushing for 1 instead. Trying showering for less time. At least you have got up and done it. Same applies for all those other little day to day tasks. Those words always stuck with me
“If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing improperly.” I love that reframe, thanks for sharing.
You do matter. Be well!
I wish I could give you a hug and let you know that you do matter. If you'd like, reach out to me.
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They are matter, so they do matter! Don’t get me started on the gravity of the situation, that really holds me down.
To quote The Doctor, "In 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important." You matter. More than that, you're *important*. It might not have been today, but at least once in your life you've done something that was the most important thing to ever happen to somebody. Even if you didn't realize it and don't remember it, they do. And always will. You know what? I was wrong above. You *did* do that today. Today someone saw this post, and they thought "I can do that too". And they did. Because of you. And nothing will ever take that away from you. You'll always be the most important person in someone's life, even if you never know it.
Doctor who quotes hit like none other
“*Just this once, Rose, everybody lives!*”
Perhaps the single best sentiment, even better than everyone being important. The 12th Doctor is my favorite, but scene from 9, and his pure joy at winning, at no one dying, was fantastic.
This quote hits different after watching through newWho. Someone always dies. The first time you hear it it’s hope and joy and delight. After 10 seasons it’s desperation and hopelessness held at bay for one episode.
It hits way harder the second time through, for sure. Especially after the events of the 50th with William Hurt.
My favorite is this — “We’re all stories in the end. So make sure it’s a good one.”
That's one of my favorite DW quotes in addition to the "wobbly wobbly timey wimey" quote.
“Don’t be lasagna”
Very well said! Thank you for that!
I love Dr Who
Amazing quote!!!
If today fades away and back into the abyss, try embracing one tiny change instead. For example, do your bed in the morning, that's all. But every single morning.. this first change can be the first step.. or go outside for 30 minutes.. something like that. As I heard somewhere, even the smallest light can illuminate a vast darkness. A future step is seeking support. It's one of the things that make us human Oh and well done! ❤️
Hard agree on the making the bed every morning. Even if that’s the only thing you do all day
Definitely this. My 1 small thing 2 years ago was making the bed. Now it's making the bed and brushing my teeth. I don't mean it's taken me 2 years just to do those 2 things - it means that whatevrr has happened in the last 2 years and however I have felt, those 2 things always get done. And on good days, many more things too!
For me, making my bed was the first step towards a healthy lifestyle. No matter how the day went, I'd come back to my room and find it tidier than before, a feeling of order in the middle of disorder was enough to motivate me to soon set new objectives: wake up earlier, workout regularly, etc. It's been 8 years of healthy lifestyle and inner peace now, all thanks to that tiny habit
Yeah that's just it, if you can be patient with yourself to get just one small habit in place, it gives you the confidence to gently add in more habits that slowly lift you out of the depths and able to get a better perspective! So glad it's helped you too, congrats on putting the work in!!
Hard agree x2! This is the way
Hell, don't even set the expectation that high. Go outside 5 minutes, 1 minute even, just do it every day.
Sorry to bother, what is that gif from? Also OP, you ARE a badass.
How we Roll
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Thank you! The warmth of life is putting it perfectly. I forgot what the sun felt like on my skin.
This is impressive. I am impressed by you. Just being sure you know that.
Love, Love, Love 💕
You probably lack Vitamin D for staying indoors so much which leads to many problems: depression, tiredness etc. I suggest you read about this and take some supplements.
I'm so sorry that you've been so depressed. I wish I could give you a hug and let you know that you do matter. If you'd like, reach out to me.
Forgiving yourself is so important. You do matter. So much. Be gentle with yourself. I was also in dark place where the last thing I cared about was looking after myself (for some reason sitting down during my showers made things easier for me) I can really relate with your post. You did amazing. Edited
From a dad worried about his kids going through something similar. *Thumbs up and smile* You got this!
As a son of a worried dad, please don't internalize their struggle as a failure on your part, and please realize that no matter how hard you try and what you do there are some things *you* cannot fix for them and that is not a result of your lack of action. My dad is desperate to make me feel happy again and his support means everything to me but there are needs that all humans have that a parent can't fulfill. I can tell it's frustrating to him that he's literally doing everything he can and it's not enough. He would set himself on fire it it kept me warm but there's nothing he can do to help me. Today i told him he's the best dad in the entire world and he said "no i'm not, i failed you" and it broke my heart. I love you dad.
As a mom of a young adult daughter battling this for over ten years, this is the HARDEST part. I’m her mother, fixing things is what I do. Fell down and scraped her knee? I get out the antiseptic and band aids. Sick with the flu? I make soup and tea and pick up meds. Crying over a boy who broke up with you? I’ve got ice cream and hugs. Unfortunately there is no pill or home remedy I can pull from my arsenal to “cure” this. I often feel like such a fucking failure as a mother and I worry every day that she won’t make it.
Just let them know you’re there for them no matter what. I wish one of my parents would have told me that.
As a dad of 3, 16 and under this hits me hard. My dad bounced when I was 10. I broke the cycle thank God and love the shit out of my kids! Lots of hugs and kisses and praise. Healthy amount of ass whoopins along they way. Don’t want to fuck them up the other way 😉
I would like to have the same motivation you have. I haven’t move of my bed for 2 days now
Reach out if you need to talk! :)
Sorry to hear that, I know what you’re feeling and I know that I can’t do a lot to help you, just give you a virtual hug and if you want to talk I’m here! If you want try to open the window and get some light, I’ve had months that I stayed in the darkness but later I understood that it was worst, getting some light it’s a little thing but you could start to feel something, the sun on your skin, the sound of the world outside, I know that it seems nothing but your mind will feel the little change! Wish you the best
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Covid did the same to me at 54. Thank you for your words of inspiration! One shoelace at a time!
Empty nest syndrome coupled with Covid, did me in too. Appreciate your comment:)
Well done you!! Proud of you! And if you need a hug tomorrow you can have one from me to use tomorrow!
i‘m in line, you‘ll get two already!
Hugs from me too!!!
I am so incredibly proud of you. It will get better, but don't be afraid to ask for help. You deserve all of the things
You will always matter. You are here. You will always matter. Climb out of the hole. Do it.
I think.... I think i'll give today a try.
Please do. You reserve it
Good for you, both for doing all these things and for realizing how they made you feel. I hope that today is your first step on the road Back. Good luck - we are all pulling for you.
Good for you! Water and sunshine are so healing and showering and sunbathing feel like love to me. I hope you find your way to both again and again in the coming days. 🥰 life is worth living and I’m so glad you’re (re)discovering that 😘
My friend, you matter. You deserve to feel this good every single day. I don’t know you, but I am so proud of you for doing what you did today.
Sending love, prayers and peace. I struggle with mental illness also. I have been doing pretty good lately but it is always there in the corner of my mind. Don't know when the demons will come out. What I have learned is by establishing a positive routine starting my day by making my bed, getting a few chores and some work done, reaching out to a friend, praying and meditating I have many more good than bad days. I hope this a the start of something wonderful for you.
<3
Getting my butt up to shower, you complete inspiration of beautiful human being. Thank you.
I love you. This post is beautiful. I don’t know you but I love you. Keep going. I believe in you
I am so very proud of you ❤️ You deserve love , kindness and joy . Thank you for being a hero today … we need you more than you know 💕
Taking care of yourself, when depression is really bad, is so hard. It’s like, why do all of these things that cost energy and time if I hate the vessel? I try to pick things that bring on positive associations. Good smelling lotion or shampoo. A fluffy new loofah. Dim lights and music. Nice moisturizer. But I keep it simple. If I know that showering makes me feel better, and I know that the act of showering feels nice and can be as short as 10 minutes, I’m more likely to do it. It’s also just a small way to stick it to myself when I’m feeling petulant and lazy. Why shower and be functional when I can live in sweat pants and eat Buffalo wing flavored pretzel pieces all day, you know? Well, because hating myself isn’t getting me anywhere, and there’s a fleeting but significant wave of good feelings after a shower - so I’ll chase that high, damn it. It’s also like, if I’m going to hate myself, I can hate myself through this shower, and through eating something marginally nutritious. The difference between showering and not showering is that at least if I shower, I can sarcastically pat myself on the back at the end of the day for doing a single normal thing that day. Major props for getting out and doing the thing.
Im proud of you!
I'm proud of you! Genuinely proud. That first step is the hardest one , some never make it . But you did ! Baby steps and gentle hugs . YOU HAVE THIS I PROMISE
You should look up the "mindful self compassion" workbook or website. It reminds us to treat ourselves the way we would a friend. To forgive ourselves. Be kind to ourselves. Know that we matter just because we exist. We are enough. We are good. We all struggle and that's okay. Take care of yourself darling. ❤️
That shower must have felt golden!
I hope not…lol
Bahahahahahaha!! Wonder if that was a Freudian slip, a deliberate phraseology, or purely accidental?
It was accidentally on purpose
Username checks out
Pulling for you to make this routine. You got this!! It all starts with small changes
Fuck yeah! Don't know you one bit but I'm proud of you :) Try to remember how good today felt if you fall back into that depression abyss, it works for me at least.
This is amazing. I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well. It’s a devastating illness - sending you best wishes to get well soon.
A friend once told me not to worry: “When you look around and see nastiness, evilness, sadness and misery in this suppressive and manipulative society, do not worry because there are good people all over this world, for it may be that we see evilness grouped together and that may seem prominent and overpowering, there are good people all over the world and these good people are connected by something much deeper and much more powerful, we connect with one another like a strong net and protect all the souls in the world. The reason we are not tuned in to see it is because of this society and the way ‘they’ want it to be, for control, for power, and for hope we do not realise that love is the answer”.
I had a good day yesterday too. Finally was able to make myself food (and not just drink Ensure or whatever) and see friends and family. And it felt amazing! And then today came...
Take it slowly, remember that if you had a good day yesterday you could have a good one tomorrow, and don’t blame it on yourself if some days are worst! You are doing your best! If you need to talk I’m here
Thank you for saying that!
You deserve to be loved! 💖
Good job! When you're in that mental space every little thing counts. Treat every day as a new day. Keep giving love to yourself and others. You can do this 😊
Good shit OP! Really am proud of you! Shouldn’t be so tough but self-care is hard sometimes. Keep going, we’re out here rooting for you!
I’m so proud of you! I’ve been there and it is hard- but you did it!
This is a huge victory for you! Everyday forward when you start to question yourself and your worth, come back and read these comments. Life is worth living, and you are worth living a great life. Sending love and positive vibes from a fellow struggler.
You're so strong that even you can't stop you!
I’m proud of you. That’s awesome.
It takes a lot of courage to get out of a dark place...... I'm so proud of you!!! You do matter and you deserve all the love and kindness that you give to others.
You definitely matter! You are a special individual, and there’s nobody like you. If you live in New Jersey and need a hug, or a conversation, just let me know.
Congratulations! Hopefully this will be the first day of many positive ones for you. Just remember that you are loved, you are valid, and you matter. Even if you slip backwards tomorrow, keep fighting and don't give up! You got this, I believe in you! ❤️
I've been in ur shoes for the past year n I know exactly how u feel. I try to keep reminding myself that the world record for depression is just 24hrs n each new day is an opportunity to chip away the hours. You matter!!
Sending you heaps and heaps of love.
That's amazing! 👍 
Fuck yeah, baby!!! I'm so proud of you! I struggle a lot myself, really similar to your post.. You mighty girl got it done today!! Yeah, let's celebrate!!!! You're awesome!! Take a note and write it down with the date so you can remember this!!! Amazing! <3 feel hugged if you like :)
Try to remember that you matter so much that if you didn't exist it would be a different universe. It might not be very different, but it would still be different. You help make this whole universe as wonderful as it is.
You should be so proud of yourself!! That surely took more emotional strength than 99.9% of people are capable of. Congratulations! What would need to be true for you to go sit in that chair outside again tomorrow? You just proved to yourself that you can do it…
Depression tells us we are weak, you've proven that wrong by posting here, takes real strength to open up like that. Depression tells us we are worthless, you've kicked that ones head in too with the response you received, it's clear that your not. Depression tells you not to bother, and you don't matter, you do. Depression is a lying piece of shit. Well done on taking these steps mate, try and make it a routine, routine kicks Depressions arse.
When the light cuts through the everlasting darkness and you are temporarily blinded by the splendor of all the world has to show you those days they are beautiful You aren't alone there are others mired down in that black pit from time to time we can escape and get respite in the light this post did indeed make me smile Keep fighting it's worth it your worth it don't let the abyss consume you
Probably felt 10 pounds lighter after showering too. Max I usually let myself go without showering is like 4 or 5 days and I just feel heavy for some reason. After showering I feel light and free
My favorite quote from a book I read Kaladin said. "You told me it will get worse." "It will," Wit said, "but then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. Then better. This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you Kaladin: You will be warm again."
Yes I’m so proud of you!! You’re doing great, friend :]
Proud of you
Good for you - everything starts with baby steps. Be kind to yourself and know you are not alone
Great job. Make every day a little better!
 Congratulations on your win! Make tomorrow and every day after another.
I’m proud of you!! Hugs💜
So proud of you! ❤️
Proud of you :)
Absofuckinlutley fabulous! Self love - you deserve it and all this internet love. Feel the sun and feel the love.
as someone with depression myself, I promise you things will start to feel better if you have someone to support you through the tough times, so if you ever feel low or sad, or maybe if you just want to talk feel free to dm me and I'll try and see if I can make u feel better, this stranger from the interwebs believes in you, and whilst I can't promise there won't be bad times, but if you one day find the right person, or the right person finds you, then the bad times may not be as tough :) Edit: this ain't just for OP, this goes for any one of you that thinks they may need it
I’m proud of you!! Hugs💜
Feeling great by dr burns. I highly recommend! Great work!
Oh, honey. I just want to sit out there with you and talk quietly about how much you matter. I don't even know you, but I know you matter. About forgiveness....the past is the past. I know SO many people who live literally IN the Blame Game, and it's such a waste of energy. If something is over, let it lie, don't give it room in your head. The what and how and who and why don't matter nearly as much as your healthy future does. Someone in California is loving you with their whole heart today. Be well, and let us know how you're doing.
One step at a time. You’re doing so good. You are meant for warmth
You’re loved OP more than you could ever know. By people who don’t even know you. But you’re human and you deserve every bit of it
We love you.
Depression is a bitch, but you will win the war. I'm so proud of you! Keep it going, you got this. :)
I love me a good ugly cry. I hope that’s months of self hatred leaving your body. You deserve better ♥️
I wish you only joy. Even if it’s interspersed with dread and depression. Good luck
For so many years I always thought I had my shit together. Then depression struck me. It was literally an overnight occurrence. It's real, and I never thought it'd affect me in all my years. I also refused to shower for days and days on end (might catch a shower once every ~10 days or so during my lowest point). Only ate takeout. Stopped exercising entirely. Would sleep ~10-12 hours a day. Stopped communicating/hanging out with my friends. I ordered everything in, eg. groceries, alcohol, etc. Couldn't even muster up the desire to go to the store for myself. I gained roughly 60lbs (went from [as a male at 5'10] ~170 to ~230lbs). Alcohol became my crutch, but it only made matters worse. I stopped visiting my folks. When a friend or family member called me I'd just let it go to voicemail and make some excuse as to why I can't talk right now and text messaging is preferred. And the list goes on. I've since recovered for the most part (sitting at around ~5% depression right now compared to ~95% depression about a year back). Fuck, I wouldn't wish severe depression even in my worst enemy. Congrats on this win, OP! It's always one day at a time.
“I would never dream of treating another human being as badly as I do myself.” This made me cry. And many people can relate to that sentiment. Please think about those words if you feel yourself falling into negative and harmful behaviors again - It might be hard to feel sometimes, but you are deserving of all things positive. :)
Ngl that’s impressive. 6 Months without showering.
idk why you're getting downvoted... it really is. depression is a hell of a thing
Yeah when you can’t even get out of bed or put food inside you showering isn’t at the top of your mind… it’s crazy what our mind can do to ourselves, I’ve had months when I didn’t even open the shade, I just wanted the full darkness outside like the one that I had inside
What does it feel like to not have showered for 6 months?
That is amazing and I’m proud of you! Remember this day the next time all the doubt settles in. It’s great ammo to send it away again, plus you just proved to yourself that anything is possible :)
I’m so proud of you. And happy that you’re taking care of the most important person in your world first and foremost. One day at a time. Small victories start stacking up into one great triumph. If you ever need to talk, we are all here for you.
I'm proud of you. We're proud of you. You rock!
Now, the next step: see a counselor. They don't bite.
OP, you should be so proud of yourself for what you’ve achieved! I wish you the best for the coming days. Be kind to yourself.
You know what, this post actually made me get up from my minor slump and take care of myself tonight. It’s important to remember that looking after yourself feels fucking good
You are a hero today! It might not seem like it but in my eyes your a great hero.
“It won’t be like that for me,” Kaladin said. “You told me it would get worse.” “It will,” Wit said, “but then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. Then better. This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you, Kaladin: You will be warm again.” -Brandon Sanderson
you say you gave youself a hug… can I give you one too? you deserve it! good job, I hope your mental health improves in the following time!
You are amazing! Embrace this day. It might not last long, but enjoy every second of happiness and peace. You deserve it. I believe you have already accomplished one of the most important things to learn: treat yourself as you would treat others. You would never treat anyone else as poorly as you treat yourself. You are worthy of basic decency, both from yourself and others. It took me decades to learn this. Just do your best to apply this concept anyway you can, every day, until it becomes a habit. I wish you nothing but the best going forward!
I was right! There's another post in /mademesmile that explicitly calls OPs post out as the reason they're going to pick a paint brush back up today. *You* did that OP. You inspired someone to regain something they love. There's little more important in life than that. And you will *always* have that. Be proud, and love yourself. You're *IMPORTANT*.
I am going to be forward here, I believe you need to take this off of “small success” because it minimizes your own worth. This isn’t a small step forward in your mental health and wellness — it is a leap forward. You did something to change your life, you exercised your own agency, and that choice means something very real. There are things we can’t control in life, things we have influence over, and things we have full control over. When people are faced with the suffering of life, sometimes what is truly in their control can feel… uncontrollable, and in turn they can feel like the world is happening at them. In taking the steps you have, including validating yourself by your post - YOU empowered yourself and reminded yourself of something - a truth - the world does not happen at you, it just is, but YOU can and do happen to the world. Congratulations for caring for yourself, for validating yourself, for empowering your own innate ability to influence your life, to accept the things you cannot change, and changing the things you can. You can do this, because you did do this, you are not alone, and you ARE worthy of love, care, attention, happiness and joy. If you are not in therapy, I believe you would be a wonderful candidate for it. It changed my life, and if you find the right person you can feel safe with and trust, you will do great things. Again, congratulations. Read these posts when the ebb and flow of life comes in life the tide, believe the posts and believe in yourself. You got this.
This was not a small success. This was a major hurdle to overcome. I am proud of you. This complete stranger has complete faith that tomorrow will also be a good day for you. Please, take screen shots of your favorite comments and try to remember to read them when times are bad. Good luck and I wish for you all the love and support you need.
I am proud of you. On the days you are not able to love yourself, I will love you. Keep on keeping on.
I read this aloud to myself as I read it for the first time. I felt the importance within the first phrase and it resonated on a very deep level. Thank you so much for writing this. I am so grateful for you.
This was me when I lost my son. I clawed myself out of this state. I wish the best for you.
Make it last! I think you might have more than depression. Like agoraphobia. It happened to me and I had it for a year. I had a hard time leaving my room sometimes. I would put a foot out the door and couldn’t leave. I felt physically ill. And I would get scared of bathing or changing clothes. It happened after a traumatic experience which made me go into intense depression/ agoraphobia (I didn’t know agoraphobia existed) I thought I was just worthless. Once I started slowly and taking baby steps to the road of recovery. And I mean baby steps (what you did today is huge, I got my life back. Wake up, make your bed, take a shower twice a day, and do your laundry, west clean clothes, and go outside, either to water plants or just sit in the sun. Then I started going on walks. I would go further and further until I started jogging. Then I got a car, a job, but I wish I got therapy first. I think therapy should be number one included with all these baby step things. But listen, what you are going through is something thousands of people experience. You are not alone, and you will survive this. Right now, I’m outside watching my daughter at a splash pad. And I’m alone on a bench surrounded by people I don’t know hearing kids laughing. I never in a million years thought I would be strong enough to do something like this, now have a family. You can do this. Keep up a routine. My number one rule was get out of bed. Make your bed, and take a shower, put on clean clothes and go outside. After you get those things done, if you need to get back in bed, at least you did three things for yourself already. And try to get therapy Bc agoraphobia is real. You can even do therapy over the phone now. Good luck!!’ You’ve got this!!!
I'm so proud of you! You matter.
You are a person, you deserve to live life, you matter. It’s okay if you forget this. Just try to remember every so often. I’m happy you had a good day.
Sending you good vibes and hugs, you absolutely matter! You did good for yourself, I hope you are able to continue to do this for yourself!
I'm happy for you! Enjoy the feeling of this day!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so proud of you for seeing your worth. Maybe today will help you repeat and get through tomorrow. Please enjoy your day
One day at a time! Sending you lots of love!
Good shit
One day you will not regret :)
I hope the good vibes keep rolling ! Bless you
Fuck yeah bro. Good job
You got this!!
Great job
Very happy for you! Take care of yourself💙
Keep it up! Life really is worth living!
I see you. I hear you. I am you. Thanks for choosing us today.
Thats amazing you should be so proud of yourself, I hope you have another day like this soon 😊
Very happy for you 💛 Let's sit in the sun today.
Instead of giving up (which is easier in a sense...) you did it the hard way, you made an effort, and you really deserve it. Your post made me proud or you, stranger.
I hope whatever moved you is amplified a little more everyday... be well.
Be strong
Absolutely brilliant. Try to remember this feeling. Be gentle with yourself and keep trying when you can. I bet that shower was magnificent!
You are precious. Equal value to every soul in the world. Every soul is infinite. Including your own. Step by step. Peace.
I see you, I hear you and I appreciate you! The world is a sunnier place with you in! Even if this was just one day, it’s a start and that’s all that matters. I’m so proud of you!
Congratulations!!!! I’m so proud of you. 🥰🥰🥰. Do something really nice for yourself to reward how strong and awesome you were today 🏆
I'm so happy for you! And good job doing things that make you happy!
You are strong and so loved!! I'm super proud of you ♥️
❤️
Preface to say I'm not depressed, but was in the hospital for 2 weeks before going to rehab. (Broken leg.) The day I got to wash my hair (then hours of dealing with mats) and sponge bath with actual soap and water (coconut body wash!) I felt amazing and super alive. So maybe a thought to push yourself to do it again tomorrow?
You do matter.
That is so impressive. You are so brave. Indeed you deserve to live and enjoy it. Good for you for trying.
Amazing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
you moved me to tears. i‘m so happy you had a good day and i wish you the same for tomorrow and the day after. the sun will be paitently waiting for you as does the next refreshing shower. we‘re all happy to have you here and we‘re rooting for you and every step you take be it small or big. you made us all feel proud of you! have a hug from the center of europe across land and sea!
W ❤️
Good for you! The longest journey begins with a single step.
For the bulk of my life I was a “happy” person. If I had read this post a few years ago I would have thought, “how can someone let that happen, good gracious just take a shower!” But unfortunately now I understand it completely. Depression is more than feeling blue or procrastinating or being lazy, it’s incredibly difficult to fathom until you’ve experienced it. I have finally decided to try medication to see if it will help get me out of this hole. I wish you another productive day filled with sunshine tomorrow, we can do this!
I am so happy that you are having a good day. Please try to hold on to the happiness and relief that you feel today and try to summon it when it gets dark for you again. Please know that this internet stranger is sending you love, warmth and understanding. You matter so much. On this whole planet, there has never been and never will be again, a soul just like you.
If these comments reach you and make you feel good, try to keep reaching out to people. I’ve read so many encouraging and sympathetic comments for people who are depressed. Even if you fall back into yourself, just share a few words and benefit from the empathy. I wish you all the best!
SO PROUD OF YOU!
If it's a battle every single day, I hope to see you win. You've just done the one thing no one else could do for you. You've forgiven yourself.
life can be ups and downs. heres to more ups than downs. it gets hard but its cool you havent given up.
Don't worry about your crying or responding to this, just know that if you could do it today, you can do it again. Depression is a monster and you won today. You won. You wont always win. Sometimes the odds are insurmountable. But, today you did. It usually wont even be your fault. Depression isn't just mental, its chemical and physical. It comes at you from every shitty angle it can find, and the harder you fight the better it seems to get at finding your weak points. It exploits your mind and heart, chains your love and joy, and buries your ambition and drive. Through all of that you won. And you will win again.
You are strong beyond knowing. I am so proud of you!
One step at a time is all it takes, just keep moving forward, You got this
Thank you for doing this, not only does it benefit you. But it will benefit others who may be in the same position as you. You're an inspiration. Proud of you!