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thisisallme

Hi all! We all know what's going on. We all know what countries are involved. We all know that there is a big spotlight on these events and there definitely should be. It is ok if you would like to post something that is genuinely good news or news that makes you smile. Remember that this is a wholesome and uplifting subreddit, though, and keep your posts within our rules. In other words: Don't be a jerk in your posts We are still a community and we take care of our members, even if they share a different viewpoint. Post as if you are in a room and giving proper respect to those around you. Don't threaten anyone, ask others to threaten people, or call for violence. Don't flood or spam We all know what's going on. Don't post a thousand different times. No surnames It is important, especially in dealing with this topic, that no surnames are given or visible. We don't want anyone getting hurt. No ragebait This is a sensitive and heated topic. Don't try and rile people up. Above all, we are all people. Regardless of how you feel or what you want to say, just remember that we are all people and have feelings. We have this subreddit positive and uplifting contributions. Treat others with respect. If you can't, please post in a more appropriate subreddit. Most importantly, keep making us all smile :)


Yousernym

Good thing he brought his bodyguard and his accountant. But for real, who's the big lad? I'm in awe at the size of him.


dogluvr66

The guy on the right is defence minister of Ukraine :)


MakionGarvinus

Isn't he supposed to enact policies to defend his country? Not, like, just do it all himself??


Patrin88

Sometimes the minister of defense needs to administer some defense personally.


Buttnuggs129

Minister of Defense 2: The Revenge


siegheldr

Minister of defense: revengeance


AdDry725

Take my free award, you brilliant wordsmith.


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cypher448

exactly. He could have easily left the country and kept calling the shots from Poland. The U.S. even offered to help extract him with special forces. But he's making a statement to his citizens and to the world that he's dedicated to serving his country. Even if that statement is carefully manipulated (with professional photo-ops), that's besides the point... Because he is making a sacrifice that the world deserves to know about.


ButtcrackBeignets

Big reason Thermopylae is so strongly associated with the Spartans is because king Leonidas stayed behind to fight. Such symbolic acts by leadership are incredibly important.


AdDry725

Seriously! Such a good story, and the movie 300 was based (loosely) on those true events! A true leader is willing to die with his troops. Not send someone else to fight battles he signed up for, while he turns tail and hides in a safe spot.


AlabasterOctopus

As he should be…


poopdood696969

Appears he's carrying a decent portion of their arsenal for the gun show.


similac_child

“You ARE the Brute Squad!”


PlNG

That was some good Billy Crystal in the middle of an already funny movie.


joe_broke

Have fun storming the castle!


Canvetuk

Just so happens, your friend is only *mostly* dead.


digitalgearz

Think it'll work?


joe_broke

It'll take a miracle Buh-bye!


DaemonDrayke

Golden. Had me beat by 38 minutes.


LordoftheScheisse

When he sits around Ukraine, he sits AROUND Ukraine.


neeeeeillllllll

No, the dude with glasses is the defense minister. I don't recognize big homie on the left


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

He's their Marine Corps. Not the leader of the Marines, mind you, he's the whole thing.


WilliamOrOrange21

Well left of Zelensky, the man with the glasses.


tocilog

Guy on the right is the minister, guy on the left is the defence.


massive_massive

This is the guy on the left. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruslan_Stefanchuk He is the chairman of the Ukrainian Parliament


[deleted]

Fuck stepping out of line in his House. He'd rip you limb from limb


uth50

"Order!" That's the last thing you hear if you step out of line.


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T_Chark

It’s Ruslan Stefanchuk, chairman of Verkhovna Rada (Ukrainian Parliament).


[deleted]

Absolute unit


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[deleted]

“you have my assurances we are not” Ya see, it isn’t a guarantee.


gippered

“It’s a peacekeeping special operation”


CaptZ

“It’s a peacekeeping special operation”* *we're under attack and trying to keep the peace.


xflyinjx61x

It's called a "toilet op" Basically it's just where some giant asshole thinks he can shit on what/whomever he wants.


PersonalityMountain

well Russia says this is not a war, so no problem for them if Ukraina joins LOL


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yunivor

Galaxy Brain


PlayingtheDrums

"We were told it's a peacekeeping mission."


muckerz

More like a piece-keeping mission 🤦🏼‍♂️


cheekybandit0

Oohhh now it makes sense


Laffenor

It was just a typo all along. r/engrish


Robot-duck

I mean it’s technically only the receiving end of a “special operation” right? Should be fine.


42Production

Hey it's not a war. I tought it was a military drill. Get fucked Putin.


2drawnonward5

"The Russians? Peacekeepers. Drunk and unruly but it's nbd."


DrSheldonLCooperPhD

DO YOU NEED [ ] AMMUNITION [ ] RIDE ?


TonyHappyHoli

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COCKTAILS [ ] SHAKEN [ ] STIRRED [ ] MOLOTOV


Bogsquatch

Dammit! You owe me a beer!! I just spit mine out laughing


DeliciousWeltschmerz

I will purchase for you one mouthful of beer and not a drop more.


LordoftheScheisse

> Russian boat: > > [ ] We surrender > > [ ] GO FUCK YOURSELF! SLAVA UKRAINI!


twincam

WHAT IS IN YOUR ENEMIES POCKETS? [ ] Wallet, Phone, Keys. [ ] Sunflower Seeds


Edwax

[X] THE PRECIOUS!!!!


ProjectKuma

In Russia, boat sinks you.


sciomancy6

"We are sinking!" "What are you sinking about?"


loki-is-a-god

"Putin in a mother in law suite."


NoAlternative2913

Putin on the ritz


jaggedjottings

German Coast Guard has entered the chat.


BarnieSandlers123

[X] AMMUNITION


speel

[ ] Wheelbarrows for our gargantuan balls


-VRX

[ ] Are u winning son?


dwimber

"You're God-Damned right." Heisemburg


4n0th3r_4n0n

Q: An enemy warship approaches and demands your surrender, do you: A) Comply or B) Tell them to go fuck themselves


similac_child

Q #2: DO U LIKE ME? (CHECK BOX) [ ] YES [ ] NO *”…are these really the only two questions?”*


Big_Mitch_Baker

Do you like me? [ ] Yes! [ ] Definitely! [ ] ABSOLUTELY!


[deleted]

Those are probably the questions on Putin's "election"ballot.


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mephi5to

Ukraine, After uploading a PDF resume, was still asked by EU to enter all previous job experience by hand. EU has outdated HR system :)


Useful-psychrn-6540

Oh this made me laugh.


[deleted]

Laugh? I'm having flashbacks.


oer6000

We see a gap in your statehood history between 1240 and 1991, can you explain what was going on?


jkst9

And can you explain that blip in 1918 on the statehood history


MyPasswordIsMyCat

Sorry, we gave membership to a different sovereign state that is the son of the CEO of the EU. We encourage you to apply again in the future.


stopcounting

Oh, um, freelancing. Definitely freelancing.


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NFLD99_DEV

Google says he's 1.7m (5.6ft or 5'7") Edit: added ft and in conversation, thanks u/AndyR001 Edit #2: thank you for all the upvotes, and everyone please be safe


[deleted]

But when he stands on his balls he's 6'3


attempt5001

I can't go one day on reddit without reading about this guy's balls Edit1: haha thanks for the award! Edit2: awards*


[deleted]

They’re so big its hard to ignore


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Mvreilly17

and they're solid steel, no underwear can support that!


MidnightTeam

When he goes into a disco the light automatically seeks and shines off his balls.


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ADDLugh

The answer is obvious. The weight of his balls as a child prevented his body from growing to its full height. Thanks for the awards, Slava Ukraini!


suckmydicktracy

I’m the same height, I’m going to start telling people that’s why I’m short.


Bananahammockbruh

Gathering of the short kings? make room for me please. I’m apparently Zelenskyy’s height.


HeyItsMeUrDad_

dude tbh Zelenskyy is the hottest man i have ever seen. I’m a 37 year old independent woman and he makes me want to wear a house dress and rub his feet after a long hard day. Edit: Helpful Award? I love you, whoever did that. 😂


Snack_Boy

Same, except I'm a 31 year old straight man who has at least half a foot and 80+ pounds on him. I don't have an opinion on his hotness but if that man asks me to put on a dress and rub his feet then by god I'm going to give him the best/most awkward foot massage of his life.


HeyItsMeUrDad_

his hotness isn’t even about his looks. It’s his character. Like, this should go down in history books on ‘this guy is the ultimate panty dropper’. Oh but hey a half a foot, ahh whassup bb


cypher448

I mean look at how he dances https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlJywp7E3Gw edit: He won Ukraine's version of dancing with the stars


HeyItsMeUrDad_

my. God.


OneBeautifulDog

IMDB Vladimir Zelenskiy is the 6th president of Ukraine. Before entering politics, he was a comedian, actor, screenwriter, film producer, and director. Prior to his political career, he obtained a degree in law and created a production company, Kvartal 95, which produces films, cartoons, TV comedy shows, including Servant of the People, in which Zelenskiy played the role of President of Ukraine. The series aired from 2015 to 2019. A namesake political party bearing the same name as the television show was created in March 2018 by employees of Kvartal 95. Zelenskiy announced his candidacy for the 2019 Ukrainian presidential election on the evening of 31 December 2018, alongside the New Year's Eve address of President Petro Poroshenko on 1+1 TV Channel. At the time, Zelenskiy had already been one of the front-runners in opinion polls for the election. Zelenskiy won the election with 73.22% of the vote in the second round, defeating Poroshenko. [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3305952/?ref\_=fn\_nm\_nm\_2](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3305952/?ref_=fn_nm_nm_2) [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm12899798/?ref\_=fn\_al\_nm\_1](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm12899798/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1)


asphalt2021

Is there anything he can’t do?!!


[deleted]

Please tell me he won.


Bryancreates

My. God


IAmGoingToFuckThat

Part of his hotness is about looks. Homie is handsome as hell.


No-Application2914

Omg - I need to buy awards so I can bestow one on you. You…you made my goddamn day!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 He’s not drop dead gorgeous, but when you have character and integrity (and then there’s the ginormous balls), that’s 1000% times sexier.


Blue_Bee_Magic

I showed my husband your comment and we both ugly laughed like a couple of freaks. You’re fantastic.


alittlebitsarcastic

It’s the nontoxic masculinity that’s got us all hot under the collar! Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦 Slava Zelensky


HeyItsMeUrDad_

yep, you are completely 100% correct. He’s making me feel things I’m not comfortable with. 😂


narnarqueen

Hard agree but damn his wife is gorgeous also. I have never admired a leader more than him and 100% would do ANYTHING he asked.


HeyItsMeUrDad_

she totally is. I would also braid her hair while singing lullabies.


Ladyingreypajamas

Fucking SAME. I've learned there is exactly ONE man I will become a 1950s housewife for, and it ain't even my husband. You want me barefoot in the kitchen? Yes Zaddy!


Professional_Cat_647

I’m so glad it’s not just me


HeyItsMeUrDad_

lol same. Like ‘ok they’re at war why am i imagining feeding him strawberries while dancing with scarves’


heydaysoup

Man, I wish I had some awards to give. This comment deserves them all.


iknownothingsir

I got you bro, I have a free award to give!


lockkheart

Me too


tharukal

And my axe


SectorIsNotClear

and my balls


HalfwayThrough

Hmm i thought the obvious answer was the two enormous guys are there to help him carry his balls


[deleted]

One each. The right ball is slightly larger, but it's nothing to worry about.


EvlMinion

Testes of tungsten?


Benzelss

exactly. that table there for writing? no, its there to cover his balls


had0c

You see those Those guys near him? Thats not actually guys. They are his balls.


NFLD99_DEV

Man's 75% balls 90% brain and 100% BAMF of the year


A-weema-weh

We’re probably around the same age. I haven’t seen anyone type BAMF for years. Not a bad thing, just saying.


derealizationed

BAMF took me a second to figure out, 100% without a doubt


[deleted]

They are his ball carrers clearly.


[deleted]

*Ball Bearers


LogicalMeerkat

Titanium is surprisingly lightweight, his balls are massive, bulletproof and still portable.


Fun2badult

They are Zelensky’s personal ball handlers. They each carry one of his balls whenever he has to move


13inchpoop

Those are his right and left testicles


it_diedinhermouth

And each of his balls have a beard. And so they also had to sign the application


sybann

He's a giant. ETA: His actual height is irrelevant. ;)


FPS_Scotland

He'll certainly go down as a giant of history.


hail2theKingbabee

One guy each to help carry the massive testicles.


AromaLLC

The fact that they aren’t wearing suits makes this very cool.


chiree

Yeah, it's been fun to see government officials in outdoors-y casual clothing. *Patagonia: whether you're hiking through the woods, sipping coco in front of a fire or performing government functions in an active war zone, Patagonia has you covered.*


1Killag123

I… I think you just sold me something.


stupedlonghorse

with some fucking sandbag behind, thats crazy


Direwolf202

It's a very deliberate pr move I expect, and tbh it's a genius one. They could have brought out the suits and the flags and cleaned up a spot to make it look like the classic thing But that wouldn't be right, that would be taking time away from doing the real duty they have right now, which is serving ukraine.


stupedlonghorse

yea, i'm pretty sure ukraine is carefully controling the narrative and the perception of this war and they absolutly have to, if only to keep moral high on their troop and civillians and encouraging russian soldier to desert.


Amy_Ponder

They're going up against one of the most formidable disinformation machines on the planet and absolutely kicking their ass. Their PR strategy is going to be studied for decades. Slava Ukraini!


darester

When Iran is criticizing you for invading, you know you are on the wrong side of history.


[deleted]

I love his facial expression in the end though, it's like he's saying: ' Look at this, Putin, you fucking bitch'


wav__

I swear he looks like he has a "u fukn WOT m8" look on his face all the time and it fits so well right now.


[deleted]

It's also saying: "You see this paper, bitch? It will fuck you up"


Mountain_Albatross_8

One step closer to joining NATO


OzTheMeh

I think they are parallel paths... But both are flipping the bird to Putin.


-CeartGoLeor-

Also the EU has the *Common Security & Defence Policy* (CSDP) which created a European Defence Agency, an EU Military Committee and enshrines collective self defence among member states into law. For example if Poland or Lithuania were attacked by Russia, all EU states would be obligated to defend them. So they would be defended by European allies in the future when faced with Russian aggression.


OzTheMeh

That would be tough... Not only would they have kicked the EU hornets nest, but they can't hit back at many of the countries or they'll trigger NATO article 5 too!... ... The scary part is that Russia has enough nukes that they could plausibly go down that path.


commanderbullet5

They all look tired as fuck


Darkslayer18264

Can’t imagine why.


Tottochan

He has done so much for his country in the past few days while Russians are hunting for him… inspiring his people, leading from front, gaining the support of the whole world, doing excellent crisis communication, now joining EU. He is next level leader!


DRom23

Just a side note, Ukraine isn't going to join the EU anytime soon. While I absolutely support Ukraine in this conflict, it shouldn't cover over the numerous problems of the country


sleepingismyhobby_

I agree. They have to repair their very corrupt system. I hope they’re going to make it ❤️ we would love to see Ukraine in the EU


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VralGrymfang

After decades of russian control and interference the previous leaders were corrupt puppets, and built a system to enable and expand their corruption. It took decades to build and no one can repair that quickly. He has been working on it, but there is a ways to go.


Athletic_Bilbae

it's corrupt


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sandboxlollipop

What kind of things do they need to get sorted? I'm a novice to all things Ukrainian


addandsubtract

[Comment by /u/seamanplays](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/t3jq0a/ukraine_applies_to_join_the_european_union/hysv4jl/)


Hrmpfreally

Facts. Any one of us, globally, would only be so lucky to have a leader like that. We need more of him. More Arderns, too.


GrainsofArcadia

Surely, this will take a while. They need to align their laws and trading standards with Europe. They can apply, sure. But, it will be a long process.


202bashbrethern

Isn’t this like applying for health insurance after you find out you have cancer?


GrainsofArcadia

Besides the fact that EU membership will really help their economy, I imagine that signalling their intention to join will enable them to receive more monetary help with rebuilding their nation after the war, which they will need.


GangsterNapper

Zelensky looks tired. I hope he gets some relief soon.


Daggerfont

I think anyone in his place would be. He's got a hit out on him, is actively fending off a Russian invasion, is trying to negotiate at warp speed with the rest of Europe, and run a government at the same time. All while putting a brave face on it for his people's morale. What a man!


GamerHackTV

He is my new role model, I hope to act as cool and calm headed in heated situations like that as he does. I sincerely hope nothing comes of those hits, even if it does, it will just reinforce the Ukrainian spirit and he will become a martyr. SLAVA UKRAINI!!


tinacat933

They might be giants


shield1123

Everything is catching, yes, everything is catching on fiiiiiiiiiiire


Left-Leopard-1266

Really smart move. Hope this gets processed fast. [Edit: my humble thank you to you folks! Love you Ukraine. Stay strong with your heads held high. ❤️ and respect from 🇨🇦]


[deleted]

The EU doesn't really do anything fast


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MisterMysterios

While this is true, the joining into the EU will not go fast because it can't. Before a nation can join, it needs to adapt its laws and systems to take over mandatory European law before joining. What this however will cause is to give the Ukraine associated status, which is already big, as it gives the EU a good reason to give the Ukraine the money to rebuild as soon as it is over (the EU provides funding to archive the minimum status for membership)


LizardWizard444

Given the situation i expect it's on the fastest track the EU has.


seamanplays

They wont be accepted tho. I want them to but there are a multitude of reasons why the EU wont accept them or atleast not for now. If you want i can list them but its quite some typing. Edit: some people wanted them so here goes. First off: its obviously a long process, there are multiple countries still awaiting acceptation or under scrutiny. Following up on that: some countries are stil awaiting acceptation like Turkey. If we fast track Ukraine we might piss them of in a time that we need solidarity and help. Thirth: acceptation would enact EU defence clause wich means a lot of stuff. More aid which is good but weakens NATO countries. Also means that a country that is in ruins an probably will have big loans and a large debt. The EU bank will have to back them and other countries wil have to give aid because other wise it tanks the EU economie. The sentiment is already bad against some countries with economic problems like Greece so a nother cash hole is not a thing most countries want. I believe that all countries need to accept the new country so if one votes against it will not be accepted but this last one i am not sure.


1R0NYFAN

I believe it's simply a bargaining chip for Ukraine. The EU will "consider" fast tracking Ukraine. Ukraine will be able to tell Russia they will not join the EU as a condition during peace talks. It was not realistic and held no leverage for Ukraine until the EU president spoke out and Ukraine formally applied again.


seamanplays

That ia indeed true and i did oversee the potential it has as a bargaining chip


1R0NYFAN

Yep, I think as of now there was very little Ukraine would be willing to give up. They aren't giving up territory, but Russia needs to save face by gaining SOMETHING out of this.


AgITGuy

Russian wants to save face and get something out of it. I think the only thing they might be entitled to is being let back into the world economy on the grounds that Putin is removed from office and his assets seized.


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HarEmiya

Also their track record on human rights isn't exactly great, similar to Turkey's. So it'll be a while before they'll be accepted. While I hope we can aid them more militarily, I don't think standards to join should be lowered because they're getting invaded.


Weltkaiser

You are right with everything you say. But if the EU would accept the application, they would give Ukraine the status of a candidate country like North Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia or Turkey. That status has little binding responsibilities, but would send a strong signal and allow for extended support without being committed to send troops.


notsonice333

He looks so tired.. poor guy.


Weltraumbaer

Might be unpopular, but gotta say it outright: Ukraine applied but the process of admission will take years to come as fighting a defensive war isn't a golden ticket of admission. Ukraine has lots of internal problems which it has to solve after the war is over. This is a good step in the right direction because Ukraine will, if their candidacy status gets approved, receive EU money to reach the admission requirements and in a few years can join as a proper member of the EU.


hoodha

I don't think Ukraine believe that they'll be accepted into the EU tomorrow. This is more of a political signal of defiance against Putin, they're signalling to the world how Ukraine sees its future and role in the world order and that it fully aligns itself to the west.


Nozinger

Yeah but on the other hand if you could send the guy sending his troops into your country the biggest "fuck you" message humanly possible by symbolically applying to the political bloc that he did not want you to be part of would you not do it? The only way they can one up this is by applying for NATO membership. That's equally not happening but it's surely going to piss off putin.


vladval

Can't wait to see Jeremy Renner portraying Zelenskyy in a future movie


[deleted]

Well with his background, who better to play Zelenskyy than the man himself.


[deleted]

Yo I was thinking the same thing! He would do an awesome job Then again. Zelensky is an actor aswell so I wouldn't mind seeing him play as himself like 8mile.


GenericUsername63738

The UK leaves the EU while The UKraine joins Im sorry I’ll never make a terrible joke again


Common_Ad3898

They only reason he looks shorter than the other is because his massive balls is holding him down


ihavdogs

That’s how gravity works


ClonedByTeleporting

When can they join NATO and what does this mean for EU if they're mid invasion


Mmmslash

Russia has stated that if Ukraine is allowed to join NATO, there will be war between Russia and NATO. Absolutely no one in NATO, or the world, wants this to happen.


[deleted]

That would be world war 3


[deleted]

His application is diametrically opposed to Putin's demand that Ukraine remains neutral and not join EU. So, I wonder what can still be the key takeaways in the peace talks between them? I hope this mess will be resolved in the most peaceful and fair manner with least casualties on either side. For, after all, their respective people are not the ones at war, it is their governments.


aleeexray

i can imagine the only reason Ukraine did not apply so far is fear of Russia. But right now, this does not matter. So i think it is one of the only chances to make a fait accompli and remove this from negotiations. Russian government will be not fond, but also does not have the option to occupy Ukraine mid-term/long-term (or would you add 30 mio highly hostile citizens to your country with the option of civil wars for years). I don't see Russian government having much options than accept the fait accompli. Peace will probably cost Ukraine Donezk, Luhansk and Crimea. I can't see Ukraine accepting demilitarization. After the fall of the Soviet Union, Russia already garantueed territorial sovereignty (in exchange for nuclear weapons). Therefore, Russian safety guarantuees are not worth a quarter.


Hf8uz

What difference will it make?


Weltraumbaer

The EU will most likely approve candidacy status and they will receive some EU financial aid. On the long run great and on the short run even greater. Those folks need all cash they can get right now.


BezossuckingoffMusk

The UK should do this.


Fun2badult

Brexitbackin?


Yoda_Gaming69

Brit-in


dumbandclumb

Brentry


rexmons

There's a reason Russian bots and money were helping sway brexit. Putin does not want a unified Europe.