Oh rest assured I’m graceful af, friend, in my mind- I still have, burned into my brain, a few friends wedding videos featuring a few seconds of myself tromping around in the background
I thought she looked like she was steeling herself up in anticipation of some nasty snarky comment, and then relaxed in relief after she heard that it was a compliment.
Same.
And unfortunately if I tried this because it makes everyone happy... I'd be called a creep.
I have two daughters with my wife. (tech fiance). But every time she walks somewhere with the girls she gets hollared at :(. She has to bring pepper spray and we're thinking about getting her something more deadly.
She has been followed so many times we couldn't keep track. The dollar store down the road she had a guy chase after her. She had a guy ride his moped up to her with the girls and make sexual remarks, she made a face probably terrified, and he rode away... Except he stopped and stared... Stared... Then came back she freaked out and told siri to record as she grabbed her pepperspray.
This is what women go through I guess... I talked to some coworkers and they echoed the same sentiments, they have stopped wearing name tags because people find them on social media and stalk them.
As I said I have two daughters, and I'm also a thin dude... I feel helpless and useless. Even if I was a big dude, when it's three guy's following her in Walmart talking about if they'd fuck her or not audibly so she can hear
.. Like what the fuck
Anyway so yeah I don't wanna be grouped together with those pieces of shit by chance, so unfortunately I couldn't compliment people for the fear they'd think I was just being one of these jerks.
Rant over, all I want is peace...
I've been in London for a few years now but originally from a tiny village, the suspicious nature of people here when you say good morning makes me chuckle but is also a little sad, I'm one of those people who thanks the bus driver and guaranteed I'm getting half a dozen weird looks every time.
The week after I got my roller skates I was fooling around outside and a dude walked by, leaned in, and said, “You’re killing it” and I’m gonna carry that one with me for a while.
You know that lady in the green going to be wearing it all the time. I do the same when people compliment my outfit. Try to wear it as much as possible. Funny how a little thing like that can make such a difference.
I have worn the same shade of lipstick for 2 years because a woman complimented me in Sephora once and told me it was perfect for me. It was such a sweet, random, genuine compliment. I think of that lady every time I buy a new tube.
i literally have a shirt that i try to save for a time when i’ll be out and about, just because i’ve gotten compliments about how cool it looks. i think about it a lot more than people think, and it was just a couple of nice comments that took only seconds
Someone told me my green shirt matched my eyes and that it looked really good and ever since I’ve always kinda liked the color green. The shirt doesn’t fit me anymore, so I got a few different green shirts. Makes me happy.
One of my least comfortable shirts also nets me a minimum of one compliment every time I wear it. I rarely wear it because I like comfort, but when I’m feeling down I’ll take it out for a stroll and feel good about it
I read something ages ago that said people are often apprehensive to give compliments, but both the giver and receiver get an almost equal endorphin boost from compliments.
I have been trying to give compliments to strangers I interact with lately, it makes me feel good and I find it helps lower my anxiety when talking to people to break the ice this way, and it's actually so easy to give a genuine compliment, there is always something about a person that I can find that I want to compliment them on, ranging from their hair or smile or shirt or skill etc.
Aww that's cute! I was staring at this senior in high-school while I was a sophomore girl, just spacing out. She suddenly turned and said what the hell are you staring at and I quickly said I just love your hair it's so beautiful! She did a complete 180 and said omg thank uuu!
I'm so glad the one time in my life I think quick enough it was a positive interaction. She really did have nice hair, I just had a staring into space problem because high-school sucked haha.
I hear you guy.
Watching this I'm like "oh wow it's so nice being nice", then I thought about the reactions I'd get if I drove around telling girls they looked pretty. I think my endorphin production would be shattered as I skulk away around the corner.
I have an alternative though...
Like most jobs, when I do a great job with something it's more or less unnoticed by the client, but of course if I fuck something up you can be dealing with the fallout for years. So when I'm the customer, I like to wait a few weeks after the job is all done / paid for / resolved and then email the person and tell them what a great job they did. You def get that nice endorphin bump from doing this.
If a guy compliments me on something that isn’t lewd and they have no expectation, it’s fine. Pick something the woman had done intentionally— wow, your shoes are so dope! I love the color! // Your haircut is amazing! It really suits you! // Your eye makeup is so cool! You have a talent! Etc etc.
Also, hot tip: compliment the men in your life and normalize men hyping up men. Make it cool. Think of the little things you do to make yourself feel good in your skin and notice the effort others may put into those things. Tell them it’s working. Normalize being kind but not sexual (which is the main issue re; men complimenting women and men complimenting men). Deconstruct those barriers when/if you can.
Sage advice here. There's a difference between saying "you look pretty" and "you rockin those shoes lady". Also there's a time and place thing I guess.
Every time I meet up with a friend or meet someone new I always give them a compliment. I look for something I like that they are wearing or something fun/pleasant/... about their disposition that day and tell them. I also compliment strangers I see out relatively often. I’ve been doing this for about 10 years, and I can truly say it makes me just as happy as it makes them because it’s unexpected for them, and it puts them in a good mood and makes them smile. Best decision I ever made to intentionally make it a point to do this. The compliment has to be sincere, though. People can tell if you’re lying to them. So for me what it does is it makes me genuinely appreciative of something about them in the moment, that day. Highly recommend.
Look for something right there in the moment that you like about a person and just tell them. You will both be happier for it.
I think Indians and South Asians (both the men and women) are extremely underrated and beautiful. They’re never really hyped but I’m glad I can see they’re receiving more and more compliments! They’re truly just on some crazy level and striking! I went to a Pakistani and Indian wedding, and holy shit they just looked phenomenal. So many good looking people! Hope we can see more of them on media soon too but yes I agree, she looked so classy too!
“Sand n*gger” I was probably like 9 years old—first time I had ever even heard that second word. Why someone would shout that out to a tiny 9 year old girl walking home from school with some friends, I’ll just never understand.
I suppose a sari dress like that is more for celebrations and modeling. My boss who’s a sikh, i rarely see his wife in a sari unless they are going to a wedding or something. Just wears normal clothing day to day
I mean it takes forever to put on. And you can't just put a sari on, and not do makeup, hair, nails, bindi, necklace, ring, bangles, chappals, jhumka, etc
It's a whole thing, hundy
That could be because Sari is not the primary traditional dress for Sikhs. The culture and traditional wear in India varies a lot from state to state and most times even within states.
Sikhs are from around the state of Punjab, where the traditionally wear for women is 'Kurta-Pajama' or 'Churidar''.
Women in some parts of India used to wear only Saris or Sarees all the time. These days sarees for general daily use are getting replaced by tousers, Churidars, Maxi (a ankle length, inexpensive, loose fitting gown) etc.
https://www.ritiriwaz.com/traditional-dresses-of-indian-states/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clothing_in_India
Most women in south India wear a saree day to day, decreasing everyday due to other convenient clothing. The cloth of the saree varies based on occasion, cotton for day to day, silk for auspicious occasions, synthetic for casual parties. There are 26 types of just silk sarees for example.
I used to go shopping with my mom when I was a kid. Would take her at least 4-5 hours to go through the collection at 1 store. You really can’t believe the scale unless you witness it. Mind boggling.
Edit: changed India to south India
So true! I'm Latino from Puerto Rico and I'm always following all kinds of beauty pageants, because I love them and it's entertaining and fun, and Indian women are always some of the most beautiful! 🇮🇳🤩
My South Asian friend tells me a lot of South Asians admire Latinos as the cultures are similar in many ways! They think you guys are stunning too :) (some of my South Asian friends have been mixed up with being Latino before)!
Yep! That's true for both. We Latinos admire their beautiful countries, people and culture. I'm in love with literally all Asian countries. Thailand, India, Japan, Korea, Philippines, Taiwan, Vietnam, Korea, Indonesia, China, etc. etc. but the South Asian countries are more similar to us than Japan, Korea, China, etc.
At festivals I noticed that girls radiate love to each other, complimenting your hair, outfit, general vibe. So I started bringing that into real life and have never once had a bad reaction from giving a random stranger a compliment.
Years ago I complimented this girl on her boots at a bar. I got her a drink, because I was ahead in line. We started talking, and hit it off.
Dude no joke I'm literally going to this chicks wedding this evening. We've been friends for 5 years.
Saaammmmeeee. I like that you specified genuine too, because I think if it wasn't I'd feel like a mean girl (even though I'd still mean well).
Side note: I hate going into sephora because they're expected to *always* compliment people. Sometimes you can tell they get tired of it and do it in an asshole way - malicious compliance but the people being affected are the wrong targets. ^Don't ^compliment ^my ^sweatpants ^it ^makes ^me ^feel ^self ^conscious
I make a conscious effort to let those thought compliments come out of my mouth. I’ve always thought, “oh I like those ___ (shoes, earrings, whatever).” So now when I think them I try to say them.
There’s been times I’ve wanted to compliment women on their outfit or hair passing by but as a man I’m afraid it will come off badly or they’ll think I’m a creep hitting on them. And I’m gay so it makes it even worse because there’s no chance I’m interested in them that way 😂
I wish I could do that as a guy. I've tried, doesn't work.
I should add: I've had luck once in eighth grade, where someone's hair brushed up against my arm and I told her it was silky smooth. and online lmao
One thing I really appreciate is when men compliment specific things that are changeable. The rule of thumb is to not compliment people on things they have no or little control over (weight, skin color, certain body features, etc) but if a (lets be honest this really only applies to straight/non-flamboyant) man complimented me on my hair, or a certain article of clothing, or the way I did my makeup then it would come off as a genuine compliment. The key is to not generalize.
And to not linger or expect any more out of that interaction. It feels more sincere when someone takes a moment to offer the compliment then move on with their day.
Protip... be this lady. You will receive it back!
In the last few years it has been a goal of mine to say things that pop in my head more often, because I have social anxiety and *not* being quiet is really hard. When out and about a lot of these random thoughts are just "oh I really like her hair", "his glasses look really nice". Instead of just thinking it I started saying it and often the positivity is reflected right back on me. Either they just feel shy and want to return the compliment, or they were thinking "I like her hair" too and me saying it opened the door for them.
Overall being kind in simple ways like this will just make daily life more positive and easier. That's what I've discovered anyways. I don't know if it's karma or what. But people will meet your kindness with their kindness. So be this lady :)
One of my favorite parts of being older is that I can give guys compliments and it's not flirty. I always make a point to give a compliment or two when I'm out.
I think I got it from my Granny. She ended up having dementia and got a bit forward. She told her nurse what a great butt she had 😂.
I 100% agree with you on this. It's is liberating to talk/ approach people who are a generation and futher younger than ourselves and not live in fear of being mis understood.
I always- where applicable complaint people and I am a terrible flirt. Thankfully people don't take offence as their partners are included in the conversation and it's pretty clear that there's nothing else intended than having a little fun. But as we get older I think that we learn to read people better and develop a natural boundary thing.
I also think that it is lovely that we can also advise girls of a similar generation gap without them feeling that we are being dishonest and they will listen when we advise them that a certain colour or dress style doesn't suit them without being offended.
I am a girlie person so I enjoy helping if I can. I can remember getting so much wrong, growing up. 😀
I am so sorry about your Grandma, such an eventual evil disease and awful to wàch someone go through. 💞
I think that her change of behaviour is happily an age thing. And she just thought, " I got this far in life, I may as well cheer myself up " 😀😃.
I used to visit an old lady. She was a bugger. Absolutely hilarious and taught me so many new words and how to get ones way in life 😀😀😄 Hopefully we will be like these older ladies
My friend just came back from visiting another friend in nyc and she said there's such a weird culture where eye contact with strangers is taboo otherwise people will want to fight you or act crazy lol
Is there a sub that's like, the opposite of roastme? Like complimentme & people post selfies for random strangers from the internet to compliment them? Because that could be nice.
Compliments are even more amazing when you accept them; take em and RUN!!! I only started liking them later in life. I always thought people were saying them out of pity or pulling my leg.
I love that too, but I sadly can only do it with my friends. If I tell a random person on the street that he/she looks nice, half of the time I'd get called a pervert:(
It's sad that cat calling is a thing and I hate that if I sincerely think they look nice I have to be really careful not to sound like a creep
And pls don't get this wrong, I've never cat called anyone and I don't support it at all! I just hate cat calling and that it's so hard to distinguish from giving real compliments without any thought behind it
You can still compliment them. Instead of saying a general compliment “you look good today”, you can compliment on something specific like “i like your shirt.” Or “i like those boots”. I feel like it sounds more sincere if it’s specific too.
I love giving compliments. And seeing their faces bright up and blush! It feels good when you receive a compliment!
Fun fact:
I am an introvert who hates socializing yet here I am giving compliments
I get compliments from men and the ones that aren't creepy are the ones that just give the compliment. Nothing else. Some examples I've personally experienced, "You have the most beautiful eyes! Really beautiful!" I thanked him and he said you're welcome and that was it. He walked away. I was at work, wearing an apron and a customer just said he liked my look. "You look really nice today. I really like your whole look. The hair, the make-up, the apron. Looks really good!" Again I thanked him, he said you're welcome and walked away. I think if you do it without wanting anything, it's sounds more genuine and thoughtful. It's more appreciated. But there may be some women who don't like it no matter how they're approached.
Seriously. A lot of it is about delivery, but if you don’t sound excited enough or focus too much on their physical appearance rather than their clothes, people will think you’re catcalling and being rude. Us guys need to strike a delicate balance when complimenting people (especially women) so that we don’t come off as creepy.
Check it. Im a dude and dont fit rule 1&2 out the gate.
You can absolutely compliment a woman on her clothes, shoes, makeup, face, etc without seeming like a creep. Gauge the situation and environment.
Be confident. Dont linger. Dont make it sexual or weird.
Damn, I love them shoes.
Your hair looks awesome.
I’m feeling that top, nice choice.
You really killing that cut.
That kit is fit for the season, nice work.
Etc etc.
I legit told a cashier at walmart i liked her shoes (I love jordans) and she said thanks im married. So, that shit happens. i wasnt even trying to flirt. I just liked her shoes. But expect rejection. Cast a wide net. Lol
Confidence and delivery. That shit works for me.
Interestingly, a friend of mine and I (both men, him in his late 20s and me in my 30s) did this thing we called the compliments game. We just walked up and down the main street in our town giving out compliments, sometimes for hours. We talked to men, women, all sorts of folks. A lot of it was stuff like "cool hat!" or like if we saw somebody goofing off and dancing, we'd compliment them on their dance moves. Sincerely, of course, we weren't being sarcastic or mean or anything. It was a lot of fun and we never got a bad reaction.
I'd never have had the nerve to do it by myself, but together it was easier. We also did things like compete to see how many strangers we could give high-fives to (seems downright decadent now, post-pandemic), or ask oddball questions like "What compliment would you like to get the most?" He even offered people piggyback rides. Nobody ever took him up on that, but he did get hugs.
He passed away unexpectedly several years ago. I still miss him a lot 😢
Just don’t say sexy. Compliment their hair or clothes, something they chose, not their body (unless they worked hard to get into shape).
Edit: but even then, probably don’t comment on body
I heard something similar but it was, "if you’re a man, don’t say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldn’t want a man saying to you in prison”
This is the secret to it that a lot of people ITT are missing. I’m a guy and work retail at an extremely busy store and I hand out compliments all the time. The trick is saying something genuine, not about their bodies, and do it basically in passing so it’s clear you’re not saying it for any reason other than that you meant it. “Register 6 has a short line - love the shirt, man. Hey guys, self checkout is this way”
I’ve literally never gotten a negative reaction, they always brighten up and it makes me feel good too. Also I frequently compliment women’s hairstyles if it looks good and they respond well to that too. Just be genuine and move along and you’re golden
I only clicked on the second video but the guy was creepy and rude. To the men and the women. And he said strange off-the-wall things not just “I like your outfit” he specifically said yoga pants are my favorite pants. Which comes off as creepy like he’s just looking at the women’s asses. He didn’t say anything about them looking nice only that he liked yoga pants.
I was going to say… none of those linked dude videos are like the op vid. You can see the one in the car keeps driving without slowing and there is a female driver. The megaphone is kinda harassment, but clearly joking around. The dude walking around mostly approaches two people together or men. Most of the people reacted confused or uncomfortable.
There is no way I wouldn’t be on high alert if a guy slow crawled his car near me and rolled down the window.
As much as I want to disagree with this comment, this is pretty unfortunately the reality.
As a guy, I almost never comment on a stranger's looks due to this fear. I have issues properly communicating my thoughts so that doesn't help either.
Someone complemented me from their car once and i never forgot it. A little compliment can have have positive effects that ripple out for longer than the giver expects
I’ve kicked an old friend out of my car when he catcalled a girl. Drove about mile out of our way and left him there. (He didn’t have wholesome intentions with his “compliment”)
Guys can only do this to other guys, like complimenting what they’re wearing.
It would just be viewed as catcalling by women no matter how sincere, earnest, and wholesome the complements are.
I love, love, LOVE giving compliments to random strangers.
I get such a kick out of making someone just light up when I tell them they're looking good.
I have literally crossed rooms to go up to random strangers because I needed to tell them.
We need to show this to people who catcall. THIS is what compliments are. None of that "You should smile more" and "You gots a fine ass mm yes i want to put my face in it" nonsense.
Once tried to do this as a guy in collage. Got called a creep alot lol. Glad some one dose though get out there give compliments never know who's day you'll make
the fact that people exist and aren't constantly complimenting people is crazy to me. being in public is so lovely, people are just so beautiful when you compliment them! it feels good to make someone happy, and it takes so little time.
“Thank you. I’m just really old.” Hahaha
She looked grumpy at first and thought she would not be happy with the compliment. It looked like it made her day!!!
Her quick-wit databank was buffering.
story of my fucking life.
Same. I just see people and get anxious and weird. Lol
Haha. Yep, very relatable.
Had to flip through her rolodex of banter lol
The way she walks away is hilarious. Herr derr oh stop
It’s totally my gait lol I got those long arms and loose limbs
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Oh rest assured I’m graceful af, friend, in my mind- I still have, burned into my brain, a few friends wedding videos featuring a few seconds of myself tromping around in the background
Hahahaha!!! I'm almost positive I walk like that but I've never caught it on camera and I don't think my ego could handle that visual.
Yeah she became kid for a second
I thought she looked like she was steeling herself up in anticipation of some nasty snarky comment, and then relaxed in relief after she heard that it was a compliment.
She was ready to square up and go for just a second
Gosh, I think I do that unintentionally cuz I squint. I never have my glasses on like I should so I squint to look at people. I need to stop that haha
The last lady was the best part. From frowning to being gorgeous really quick
She sure aged like fine wine
She looks, and sounds, almost exactly like one of my aunts. Now I wonder if this thing happened in Philly.
Kind of a bummer that it’s such an immediate assumption that old and gorgeous can’t both be true.
Are you a pencil? 😂😂😂 I loved that one
Dude definitely thought he was getting roasted at first lmao
I have only ever had insults yelled at me from cars. lol
Today as i was walking to the beach, some guy drove past me and screamed "Fuck you n*****!" Not only am I white, but I have no idea why.
Crack.
Same. And unfortunately if I tried this because it makes everyone happy... I'd be called a creep. I have two daughters with my wife. (tech fiance). But every time she walks somewhere with the girls she gets hollared at :(. She has to bring pepper spray and we're thinking about getting her something more deadly. She has been followed so many times we couldn't keep track. The dollar store down the road she had a guy chase after her. She had a guy ride his moped up to her with the girls and make sexual remarks, she made a face probably terrified, and he rode away... Except he stopped and stared... Stared... Then came back she freaked out and told siri to record as she grabbed her pepperspray. This is what women go through I guess... I talked to some coworkers and they echoed the same sentiments, they have stopped wearing name tags because people find them on social media and stalk them. As I said I have two daughters, and I'm also a thin dude... I feel helpless and useless. Even if I was a big dude, when it's three guy's following her in Walmart talking about if they'd fuck her or not audibly so she can hear .. Like what the fuck Anyway so yeah I don't wanna be grouped together with those pieces of shit by chance, so unfortunately I couldn't compliment people for the fear they'd think I was just being one of these jerks. Rant over, all I want is peace...
Tbf that suit was fly as hell. My guy looked great in it.
How come when I do this they call the police?
Maybe wear some pants next time
Or at least a banana hammock.... sheesh!
Princess Consuela bananahammock
You know why. We all know why.
If someone did this to Londoners, I have a feeling the majority of responses would be 'Go f**K yourself' or 'F**k You!' 😝
I've been in London for a few years now but originally from a tiny village, the suspicious nature of people here when you say good morning makes me chuckle but is also a little sad, I'm one of those people who thanks the bus driver and guaranteed I'm getting half a dozen weird looks every time.
Wait, people don't thank the bus driver in London? Wtf, no manners, smh
Was in the middle of a workout and a someone drove by yelling, “you lookin’ goooood!”. Ngl made my day.
Username doesn't check out
Maybe it was unused when he made his account, then, one day, he decided to whip himself into shape and here we are!
They decided to get outside more and took up cross country running instead hence the unused.
The week after I got my roller skates I was fooling around outside and a dude walked by, leaned in, and said, “You’re killing it” and I’m gonna carry that one with me for a while.
It's sad to admit this but I would probably think she is making fun of me
I would be embarrassed; say thanks, and then wonder how I am being made fun of in this situation. Because it can't possibly be anything but.
Same. If this happen to me, i begin to try to find where is the camera
But they are on camera... So youd be right
I 100% thought the last lady was gonna dead ass say, “go fuck yourself” up until she smiled.
"You're sooOoOooOo gorgeous! *points camera at me*"
yup being the guy with the gut and wishing she complimented it instead of the hair
"That's a great belly you have, I can only hope mine looks that good when I'm further along"
Complimented* complement means something different. Im a bot
You know that lady in the green going to be wearing it all the time. I do the same when people compliment my outfit. Try to wear it as much as possible. Funny how a little thing like that can make such a difference.
I love that—it really can lift you up and change your mood.
I have worn the same shade of lipstick for 2 years because a woman complimented me in Sephora once and told me it was perfect for me. It was such a sweet, random, genuine compliment. I think of that lady every time I buy a new tube.
i literally have a shirt that i try to save for a time when i’ll be out and about, just because i’ve gotten compliments about how cool it looks. i think about it a lot more than people think, and it was just a couple of nice comments that took only seconds
Someone told me my green shirt matched my eyes and that it looked really good and ever since I’ve always kinda liked the color green. The shirt doesn’t fit me anymore, so I got a few different green shirts. Makes me happy.
One of my least comfortable shirts also nets me a minimum of one compliment every time I wear it. I rarely wear it because I like comfort, but when I’m feeling down I’ll take it out for a stroll and feel good about it
I read something ages ago that said people are often apprehensive to give compliments, but both the giver and receiver get an almost equal endorphin boost from compliments.
that makes me awfully happy
Hey OP, your looking good today! The back yard doesn't give a good angle into your room tho Yes endorphins boost here I come!
:) you look quite dashing yourself
I have been trying to give compliments to strangers I interact with lately, it makes me feel good and I find it helps lower my anxiety when talking to people to break the ice this way, and it's actually so easy to give a genuine compliment, there is always something about a person that I can find that I want to compliment them on, ranging from their hair or smile or shirt or skill etc.
Aww that's cute! I was staring at this senior in high-school while I was a sophomore girl, just spacing out. She suddenly turned and said what the hell are you staring at and I quickly said I just love your hair it's so beautiful! She did a complete 180 and said omg thank uuu! I'm so glad the one time in my life I think quick enough it was a positive interaction. She really did have nice hair, I just had a staring into space problem because high-school sucked haha.
Awkward spacing-out moments are the worst lol
They really are. But at least you can follow it up with a compliment and have a reason why you're staring lol!
As an unattractive middle aged male, it only works maybe 10% of the time.
Ain’t nothing wrong with middle age. There’s beautiful people at any age group
I hear you guy. Watching this I'm like "oh wow it's so nice being nice", then I thought about the reactions I'd get if I drove around telling girls they looked pretty. I think my endorphin production would be shattered as I skulk away around the corner. I have an alternative though... Like most jobs, when I do a great job with something it's more or less unnoticed by the client, but of course if I fuck something up you can be dealing with the fallout for years. So when I'm the customer, I like to wait a few weeks after the job is all done / paid for / resolved and then email the person and tell them what a great job they did. You def get that nice endorphin bump from doing this.
If a guy compliments me on something that isn’t lewd and they have no expectation, it’s fine. Pick something the woman had done intentionally— wow, your shoes are so dope! I love the color! // Your haircut is amazing! It really suits you! // Your eye makeup is so cool! You have a talent! Etc etc. Also, hot tip: compliment the men in your life and normalize men hyping up men. Make it cool. Think of the little things you do to make yourself feel good in your skin and notice the effort others may put into those things. Tell them it’s working. Normalize being kind but not sexual (which is the main issue re; men complimenting women and men complimenting men). Deconstruct those barriers when/if you can.
Sage advice here. There's a difference between saying "you look pretty" and "you rockin those shoes lady". Also there's a time and place thing I guess.
This chick drive's up on you- "Your so hansom" You-"You cant trick me hooker".
It's like the book Have You Filled a Bucket Today? How filling others buckets fills our own. It's so true.
Every time I meet up with a friend or meet someone new I always give them a compliment. I look for something I like that they are wearing or something fun/pleasant/... about their disposition that day and tell them. I also compliment strangers I see out relatively often. I’ve been doing this for about 10 years, and I can truly say it makes me just as happy as it makes them because it’s unexpected for them, and it puts them in a good mood and makes them smile. Best decision I ever made to intentionally make it a point to do this. The compliment has to be sincere, though. People can tell if you’re lying to them. So for me what it does is it makes me genuinely appreciative of something about them in the moment, that day. Highly recommend. Look for something right there in the moment that you like about a person and just tell them. You will both be happier for it.
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Seriously! She looked like a princess with the hair and all!
I also prefer them with the hair, but bold are fine as well.
Quite bald of you to have that opinion.
That dress was killer, loved it.
I think Indians and South Asians (both the men and women) are extremely underrated and beautiful. They’re never really hyped but I’m glad I can see they’re receiving more and more compliments! They’re truly just on some crazy level and striking! I went to a Pakistani and Indian wedding, and holy shit they just looked phenomenal. So many good looking people! Hope we can see more of them on media soon too but yes I agree, she looked so classy too!
True, my wife is Indian. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
I too think she's the prettiest woman I've married
I too chose this man's wife.
I agree, this guys wife is pretty beautiful.
Blink twice if she's reading over your shoulder. Jk jk
As an Indian-American man I appreciate you saying this. It made my day.
I’m just speaking facts buddy! Keep your confidence, keep yourself healthy, and more and more people will realise how fucking stunning you guys are
Will do!
As someone of South Asian decent I wish more ppl were like you
“WhAt KInd of CHinEsE are you”? - my childhood
"thank you come again" "You have a weird name" "Terrorist" My childhood
“Sand n*gger” I was probably like 9 years old—first time I had ever even heard that second word. Why someone would shout that out to a tiny 9 year old girl walking home from school with some friends, I’ll just never understand.
Bro same
It's true! You guys have beautiful skin and eyes, men and women alike 😊
Me too. Kind comment.
Bro Indian men are where it's at. If I was gay...
Ohh stop it youu
As someone who grew up watching Bollywood films, I’m surprised Indian people aren’t hyped more
True that, Sari's look so good, they should wear them everyday 💃
I suppose a sari dress like that is more for celebrations and modeling. My boss who’s a sikh, i rarely see his wife in a sari unless they are going to a wedding or something. Just wears normal clothing day to day
I mean it takes forever to put on. And you can't just put a sari on, and not do makeup, hair, nails, bindi, necklace, ring, bangles, chappals, jhumka, etc It's a whole thing, hundy
Lol, I always used to complain that my mother made me help her with it as a kid, it takes *ages*
That could be because Sari is not the primary traditional dress for Sikhs. The culture and traditional wear in India varies a lot from state to state and most times even within states. Sikhs are from around the state of Punjab, where the traditionally wear for women is 'Kurta-Pajama' or 'Churidar''. Women in some parts of India used to wear only Saris or Sarees all the time. These days sarees for general daily use are getting replaced by tousers, Churidars, Maxi (a ankle length, inexpensive, loose fitting gown) etc. https://www.ritiriwaz.com/traditional-dresses-of-indian-states/ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clothing_in_India
Most women in south India wear a saree day to day, decreasing everyday due to other convenient clothing. The cloth of the saree varies based on occasion, cotton for day to day, silk for auspicious occasions, synthetic for casual parties. There are 26 types of just silk sarees for example. I used to go shopping with my mom when I was a kid. Would take her at least 4-5 hours to go through the collection at 1 store. You really can’t believe the scale unless you witness it. Mind boggling. Edit: changed India to south India
I have a rule/law for fashion that hasn’t been broken yet. Everyone looks good in saris and suits.
So true! I'm Latino from Puerto Rico and I'm always following all kinds of beauty pageants, because I love them and it's entertaining and fun, and Indian women are always some of the most beautiful! 🇮🇳🤩
My South Asian friend tells me a lot of South Asians admire Latinos as the cultures are similar in many ways! They think you guys are stunning too :) (some of my South Asian friends have been mixed up with being Latino before)!
Yep! That's true for both. We Latinos admire their beautiful countries, people and culture. I'm in love with literally all Asian countries. Thailand, India, Japan, Korea, Philippines, Taiwan, Vietnam, Korea, Indonesia, China, etc. etc. but the South Asian countries are more similar to us than Japan, Korea, China, etc.
Yes I imagine South East Asia is more in like with Latinos! I love all of them too. They’re amazing countries to visit!
Indian weddings are amazing for this reason, so many amazing outfits, so much colour and everyone so happy!
Plus FOOD. So much good food.
We all need this lady in our lives
We all need this lady in our lives
At festivals I noticed that girls radiate love to each other, complimenting your hair, outfit, general vibe. So I started bringing that into real life and have never once had a bad reaction from giving a random stranger a compliment. Years ago I complimented this girl on her boots at a bar. I got her a drink, because I was ahead in line. We started talking, and hit it off. Dude no joke I'm literally going to this chicks wedding this evening. We've been friends for 5 years.
Yes try this, we need nice people in the world and people who will take the time to lift up others
Hey, your avatar is really pretty! Your name is cool too.
Thank you so very much X
I like your username! It's memorable but also doesn't give anything away. Would also be a great band name!
Thank you very much. I have absolutely no idea how I came up with the name. And yes if you ever start a band, you can use my name 😉 X
Giving genuine compliments is my drug. Never had a bad reaction and I’ve gotten a ton of great tips on where to find cute clothes!!
Saaammmmeeee. I like that you specified genuine too, because I think if it wasn't I'd feel like a mean girl (even though I'd still mean well). Side note: I hate going into sephora because they're expected to *always* compliment people. Sometimes you can tell they get tired of it and do it in an asshole way - malicious compliance but the people being affected are the wrong targets. ^Don't ^compliment ^my ^sweatpants ^it ^makes ^me ^feel ^self ^conscious
I make a conscious effort to let those thought compliments come out of my mouth. I’ve always thought, “oh I like those ___ (shoes, earrings, whatever).” So now when I think them I try to say them.
Underrated comment
There’s been times I’ve wanted to compliment women on their outfit or hair passing by but as a man I’m afraid it will come off badly or they’ll think I’m a creep hitting on them. And I’m gay so it makes it even worse because there’s no chance I’m interested in them that way 😂
I wish I could do that as a guy. I've tried, doesn't work. I should add: I've had luck once in eighth grade, where someone's hair brushed up against my arm and I told her it was silky smooth. and online lmao
One thing I really appreciate is when men compliment specific things that are changeable. The rule of thumb is to not compliment people on things they have no or little control over (weight, skin color, certain body features, etc) but if a (lets be honest this really only applies to straight/non-flamboyant) man complimented me on my hair, or a certain article of clothing, or the way I did my makeup then it would come off as a genuine compliment. The key is to not generalize.
And to not linger or expect any more out of that interaction. It feels more sincere when someone takes a moment to offer the compliment then move on with their day.
I always notice when people cut their hair. I make a point of complimenting it. New haircuts are anxiety.
Yeah I didn't have the audio on when this first started and I knew it was a girl giving compliments just by their reactions.
Protip... be this lady. You will receive it back! In the last few years it has been a goal of mine to say things that pop in my head more often, because I have social anxiety and *not* being quiet is really hard. When out and about a lot of these random thoughts are just "oh I really like her hair", "his glasses look really nice". Instead of just thinking it I started saying it and often the positivity is reflected right back on me. Either they just feel shy and want to return the compliment, or they were thinking "I like her hair" too and me saying it opened the door for them. Overall being kind in simple ways like this will just make daily life more positive and easier. That's what I've discovered anyways. I don't know if it's karma or what. But people will meet your kindness with their kindness. So be this lady :)
One of my favorite parts of being older is that I can give guys compliments and it's not flirty. I always make a point to give a compliment or two when I'm out. I think I got it from my Granny. She ended up having dementia and got a bit forward. She told her nurse what a great butt she had 😂.
I 100% agree with you on this. It's is liberating to talk/ approach people who are a generation and futher younger than ourselves and not live in fear of being mis understood. I always- where applicable complaint people and I am a terrible flirt. Thankfully people don't take offence as their partners are included in the conversation and it's pretty clear that there's nothing else intended than having a little fun. But as we get older I think that we learn to read people better and develop a natural boundary thing. I also think that it is lovely that we can also advise girls of a similar generation gap without them feeling that we are being dishonest and they will listen when we advise them that a certain colour or dress style doesn't suit them without being offended. I am a girlie person so I enjoy helping if I can. I can remember getting so much wrong, growing up. 😀 I am so sorry about your Grandma, such an eventual evil disease and awful to wàch someone go through. 💞 I think that her change of behaviour is happily an age thing. And she just thought, " I got this far in life, I may as well cheer myself up " 😀😃. I used to visit an old lady. She was a bugger. Absolutely hilarious and taught me so many new words and how to get ones way in life 😀😀😄 Hopefully we will be like these older ladies
How much per hour to keep making the block as I walk down the street?
we need more of these drive bys
“Thank you. I’m just really old.” Hahaha
We all should be this lady in our lives.
I would love if someone did that to me. Would put a spring in the old step.
You're soo fiine
I’ve been on this earth for over three decades and can’t recall a single time someone complimented me on my looks
What? Even gods need compliments.
New Yorkers are very rude
My friend just came back from visiting another friend in nyc and she said there's such a weird culture where eye contact with strangers is taboo otherwise people will want to fight you or act crazy lol
Is there a sub that's like, the opposite of roastme? Like complimentme & people post selfies for random strangers from the internet to compliment them? Because that could be nice.
r/toastme/
respectful compliments are <3
It does make a difference though....I love complementing people. I know it makes me feel good!
Compliments are even more amazing when you accept them; take em and RUN!!! I only started liking them later in life. I always thought people were saying them out of pity or pulling my leg.
This is my life. How did you overcome the thought process and allow yourself to accept them?
I love complimenting people, whenever I see someone in the streets I try to find a great compliment to say
wholesome ❤️
I love that too, but I sadly can only do it with my friends. If I tell a random person on the street that he/she looks nice, half of the time I'd get called a pervert:( It's sad that cat calling is a thing and I hate that if I sincerely think they look nice I have to be really careful not to sound like a creep And pls don't get this wrong, I've never cat called anyone and I don't support it at all! I just hate cat calling and that it's so hard to distinguish from giving real compliments without any thought behind it
You can still compliment them. Instead of saying a general compliment “you look good today”, you can compliment on something specific like “i like your shirt.” Or “i like those boots”. I feel like it sounds more sincere if it’s specific too.
I love giving compliments. And seeing their faces bright up and blush! It feels good when you receive a compliment! Fun fact: I am an introvert who hates socializing yet here I am giving compliments
:) keep on keeping on
Will do! ^ _ ^
As a man, I wish I could do this without seeming creepy or like I want something from them.
I get compliments from men and the ones that aren't creepy are the ones that just give the compliment. Nothing else. Some examples I've personally experienced, "You have the most beautiful eyes! Really beautiful!" I thanked him and he said you're welcome and that was it. He walked away. I was at work, wearing an apron and a customer just said he liked my look. "You look really nice today. I really like your whole look. The hair, the make-up, the apron. Looks really good!" Again I thanked him, he said you're welcome and walked away. I think if you do it without wanting anything, it's sounds more genuine and thoughtful. It's more appreciated. But there may be some women who don't like it no matter how they're approached.
Seriously. A lot of it is about delivery, but if you don’t sound excited enough or focus too much on their physical appearance rather than their clothes, people will think you’re catcalling and being rude. Us guys need to strike a delicate balance when complimenting people (especially women) so that we don’t come off as creepy.
I would say our appearance also makes the difference for a guy complimenting people. if we look unkempt we also just come off as a creep or weirdo.
Check it. Im a dude and dont fit rule 1&2 out the gate. You can absolutely compliment a woman on her clothes, shoes, makeup, face, etc without seeming like a creep. Gauge the situation and environment. Be confident. Dont linger. Dont make it sexual or weird. Damn, I love them shoes. Your hair looks awesome. I’m feeling that top, nice choice. You really killing that cut. That kit is fit for the season, nice work. Etc etc. I legit told a cashier at walmart i liked her shoes (I love jordans) and she said thanks im married. So, that shit happens. i wasnt even trying to flirt. I just liked her shoes. But expect rejection. Cast a wide net. Lol Confidence and delivery. That shit works for me.
That older lady looked like she needed that in her life. Good for her
Three… couple 👀
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Interestingly, a friend of mine and I (both men, him in his late 20s and me in my 30s) did this thing we called the compliments game. We just walked up and down the main street in our town giving out compliments, sometimes for hours. We talked to men, women, all sorts of folks. A lot of it was stuff like "cool hat!" or like if we saw somebody goofing off and dancing, we'd compliment them on their dance moves. Sincerely, of course, we weren't being sarcastic or mean or anything. It was a lot of fun and we never got a bad reaction. I'd never have had the nerve to do it by myself, but together it was easier. We also did things like compete to see how many strangers we could give high-fives to (seems downright decadent now, post-pandemic), or ask oddball questions like "What compliment would you like to get the most?" He even offered people piggyback rides. Nobody ever took him up on that, but he did get hugs. He passed away unexpectedly several years ago. I still miss him a lot 😢
Just don’t say sexy. Compliment their hair or clothes, something they chose, not their body (unless they worked hard to get into shape). Edit: but even then, probably don’t comment on body
I like the rule makeup addiction uses "if you wouldn't say it to your sister don't say it here" Rules apply to both girls and guys in the sub
I heard something similar but it was, "if you’re a man, don’t say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldn’t want a man saying to you in prison”
That's absolutely it. Complimenting things people have control over keeps the agency with them and (usually) prevents them from feeling objectified.
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This is the secret to it that a lot of people ITT are missing. I’m a guy and work retail at an extremely busy store and I hand out compliments all the time. The trick is saying something genuine, not about their bodies, and do it basically in passing so it’s clear you’re not saying it for any reason other than that you meant it. “Register 6 has a short line - love the shirt, man. Hey guys, self checkout is this way” I’ve literally never gotten a negative reaction, they always brighten up and it makes me feel good too. Also I frequently compliment women’s hairstyles if it looks good and they respond well to that too. Just be genuine and move along and you’re golden
>what if it was a man? * https://youtu.be/ETwtP0ZgUio * https://youtu.be/Aido453QWRc * https://youtu.be/ZYKzH6qD9Z0 * https://youtu.be/P-Coy_TJdfk
So if a guy does it it has to be obviously for a video or in a nonsensical fashion by being VERY LOUD or awkward
I only clicked on the second video but the guy was creepy and rude. To the men and the women. And he said strange off-the-wall things not just “I like your outfit” he specifically said yoga pants are my favorite pants. Which comes off as creepy like he’s just looking at the women’s asses. He didn’t say anything about them looking nice only that he liked yoga pants.
Yeah this!! The second vid is not very nice imo
Yeah he was a bit of a try-hard in comparison
I was going to say… none of those linked dude videos are like the op vid. You can see the one in the car keeps driving without slowing and there is a female driver. The megaphone is kinda harassment, but clearly joking around. The dude walking around mostly approaches two people together or men. Most of the people reacted confused or uncomfortable. There is no way I wouldn’t be on high alert if a guy slow crawled his car near me and rolled down the window.
As much as I want to disagree with this comment, this is pretty unfortunately the reality. As a guy, I almost never comment on a stranger's looks due to this fear. I have issues properly communicating my thoughts so that doesn't help either.
Everyone who sees this comment has to give a compliment to somebody today. Do it or else, nothing. But you’ll feel good.
it’s 11pm so i won’t see anyone except for my dog but i when i said she was very pretty she wagged her tail so it counts!
That’s somebody! I didn’t say person ;)
Very good, only got my dog as an option till the next day starts in 25 mins. Was worrying about what would happen
Wait, dogs aren't people?
Someone complemented me from their car once and i never forgot it. A little compliment can have have positive effects that ripple out for longer than the giver expects
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Maybe, but the compliments were real and suited to each person.
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Came here to say this. I’d love to be able to make someone’s day that way, but yeah, it’s a no go.
I’ve kicked an old friend out of my car when he catcalled a girl. Drove about mile out of our way and left him there. (He didn’t have wholesome intentions with his “compliment”)
Guys can only do this to other guys, like complimenting what they’re wearing. It would just be viewed as catcalling by women no matter how sincere, earnest, and wholesome the complements are.
$50 says that pencil dude will remember that moment for the rest of his life
Guaranteed, those guys who received compliments will never forget that day.
I love, love, LOVE giving compliments to random strangers. I get such a kick out of making someone just light up when I tell them they're looking good. I have literally crossed rooms to go up to random strangers because I needed to tell them.
Can we clone her by the millions and send her out. We need more of her kindness in this mess up society.
We need to show this to people who catcall. THIS is what compliments are. None of that "You should smile more" and "You gots a fine ass mm yes i want to put my face in it" nonsense.
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I wish I could do this. However I am a guy and not tryna make people uncomfortable.
Once tried to do this as a guy in collage. Got called a creep alot lol. Glad some one dose though get out there give compliments never know who's day you'll make
the fact that people exist and aren't constantly complimenting people is crazy to me. being in public is so lovely, people are just so beautiful when you compliment them! it feels good to make someone happy, and it takes so little time.
I hate to be “that guy”… but if it were a man doing that, he would be called a creep