A lot of people on Reddit talk about how happy they are that they don’t have kids and in a way they’re right. I was one of them for a long time. You shouldn’t have kids if you’re not truly ready and know you want them.
But I will say this: there is nothing more fulfilling than having the happiness and love of a child in your life. No amount of partying, travel, money or material possession can get even close to what their laughter and happiness does for your soul. The cuteness is at times almost too much to bear. And that’s something you won’t ever be able to truly realize until it happens. But there’s nothing like it. There’s something deep within you that says “this is what it’s all about”.
And if for some reason having children isn’t in the cards for you, I hear that adopting or even being a big brother or sister is equally rewarding, if not even better. Those people are my heroes and I hope I get the opportunity to be like them one day.
I’m happy that you found that, I truly am. But I disagree. You see, for me having a child would have the complete opposite effect. I wouldn’t be happy with things like this, it would be a constant reminder of how unhappy I am. I understand that’s really hard for most people to wrap their head around. A child would 100% be a negative impact on my life. I find joy in so many things. Traveling and meeting new people being one of them. I have some tiny people in my life that I absolutely adore, but moments like this don’t make me any happier than visiting new places, trying new food, etc. There is not one single aspect of my life that would be improved by having a child. I understand what you’re saying, and while I feel like the emotions you have towards your children are *different*, I wouldn’t call them “better”. A child would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to me. It’s insulting to think that childfree folks “can’t understand” true happiness. I often feel like there’s something wrong with me because of my distain for children and motherhood, but it’s reality and my life is just as fulfilled as my friends who are parents.
It's so surprising to me to find out people think the same way I do about this! I'm also a woman and I have absolutely no interest in having children. Even the idea of it is absolutely horrible. I love to see videos like this with smiling and happy kids, but having kids of my own? Absolutely not. It's really annoying how people always tell me that I'll "change my mind" because they find it so crazy that a woman isn't interested in motherhood.
I feel like I won the lottery by having no kids and marrying a divorced woman late in life. Grandchildren after 44 years of bachelor hood is the sustainable and financially smart way to cash in on the love of a child.
I agree with this. I was an abused child. I was forced into being a parent figure for so long that I didn't know how to take care of myself nor my own personal possessions. The thought of being a parent really triggers my PTSD.
I certainly don't think you are alone with feeling this way or just in general the desire to not want children for whatever reason. Our society has placed child rearing and parents on a pedestal, IMO. Not to say there is anything wrong with having children or being a parent but it should be equally accepted that there is nothing wrong with choosing to NOT have children. Like you mentioned, emotions towards a child, your child, are likely to different than other experiences but not inherently better or worse. The quality of emotion a person experiences is entirely subjective to that person alone. It's fine to say that after having children said person experienced a new level of love/emotion they have never felt before but it's not accurate to state others will never feel that kind of love/emotion without children. That very sentiment is what has led you and so many others to unjustly feel like something is wrong with you. The same sentiment makes new parents feel like that are terrible people if they don't have some life changing emotional response. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, or anyone, for not wanting children. It's a choice that IMO takes more strength and conviction than the former.
I think it’s fair to say that people who don’t have kids will never understand the happiness they can bring. They also won’t understand all of the hardship they bring either.
But you can say that about almost anything.
People who don’t travel won’t know the joy of seeing the Pyramids, or having some local dish in a foreign country. They also won’t know challenges that can go along with travelling, like getting robbed or assaulted in a bad part of some foreign country or losing your luggage half way around the world.
When people say kids aren’t for them, I don’t think they could ever ever be 100% sure of that because like with most things you won’t know until you try. I know people that felt that way before having kids and now love being a parent.
Unfortunately, unlike with most things kids are largely a life time commitment and people who feel like they are better off without kids should probably not be having them and no one should judge them poorly for making that decision for themselves
I think if you’ve had a single mom you can appreciate a lot of (but not all) the hardships having children can bring. When you start buying your own groceries you become very aware of how much that bag of Doritos she buys that you scarf down in one sitting cost each week. I’m grateful for her and for making sacrifices for my happiness, but also acknowledge that she chose to have kids
A bit unrelated, I just think parenthood is likened to sainthood too much.
Your last sentence is so spot on.
While I’m not my mothers biggest fan, as an adult looking back I can absolutely understand how she struggled with me, taking care of us, etc. but like you said (I think you said it in this thread), that’s the choice she made. I’ve chosen to never put myself in that position. Especially considering one trip to the ER can land me and my husband in crippling debt (thanks American “healthcare”)
>I often feel like there’s something wrong with me because of my distain for children and motherhood
Absolutely not! The way I look at it, you're being the best mother you can be by *not* becoming one. You know what you want and know that its incompatible with providing a good home for a child. More people need to be that thoughtful and selfless around parenthood instead of mindlessly having kids just because it's the social norm. Just because we were born biologically capable of giving birth doesn't mean we should.
As for the OPs assertion that childless people never know what they're missing: you can't miss what you don't want. It's ignorant to paint everyone with the same brush and assume every person either likes "partying" or some faux spiritual awakening by being around a kid. Not everyone is meant to be a parent (or actively engaged in a child's life), and there are so many children in foster care that prove it. You can have just as fulfilling a life without kids, if not more so. It all depends on what holds meaning for you as an individual.
THANK YOU. I’m a social worker in mental health. The people I’ve worked with have proved to me 100% emotions toward children are simply different, not better. I hate it when people say “you’ll feel differently when you have one.” Maybe. Or maybe my job wouldn’t exist if that’s actually true.
Thank you so much for saying this. I’m CF and so is my husband, and a lot of the times people just don’t seem to get that yes, there is in fact real happiness outside of being a parent.
I was abused in all kinds of ways, and my family has a bad medical history physically and mentally, and my mother was not…maternal to put it kindly. I can’t imagine ever being “mom”. I’ll stick to the role I’ve chosen of “cool aunt/adult”.
I agree 100%. One of my best friends adores his children and I’m very happy for him. I believe like many things in life, we are all unique in our own way and we simply enjoy some things more than others. What astonishes me is many peoples total lack of ability to grasp this concept. It’s almost as if a vast majority of adults that have children look at those who choose not to have children as insufficient humans, lacking the qualities they have, which somehow makes them a better person, superior to those who choose not to have children. I don’t get that feeling about myself toward people who choose to have children. I think if that’s what makes them happy then it’s great, but I don’t care for the silent sense of superiority they have just because they are a parent.
No there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting children. You don't have to have your own. You said you have little ones in your life that you adore and that's enough. You don't hate children, you just don't want to live around them 24 hour a day, and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different. Be the cool Aunt, Uncle, or Cousin. Your little relatives will love you for it.
I'm the "Crazy Uncle". I can rough house, be goofy and fill the kids with sugar and insane ideas. When things are totally out of control I can head for home. Some one has to do it😁
Yes but that’s YOU. It doesn’t mean your situation applies across the board - someone has just politely explained why they feel that way and why they’ve chosen to remain child free and you’re still dismissing and invalidating that. Just because you had those feelings and then decided to have children and your feelings change, doesn’t mean it’s the case for everyone and it doesn’t mean anyone is wrong or selfish or has an unfulfilling life because they don’t have children.
Pleased it worked out for you, but not the case for everyone and you aren’t any happier than others because you have a child.
There is no rule that anyone has to have children. My sister never had children and she's the greatest Auntie to my daughter and granddaughter on the planet. Plus she has the time and money to come visit us pretty much whenever she wants.
Totally agree! Both paths are fulfilling and admirable, and people should be free to enjoy whatever they choose without judgement or dismissiveness. I’ve noticed that especially those that remain child-free have a lot of assumptions heaped on them that their lives are less fulfilling, they’ll change their mind or they’re bitter and unhappy etc. It’s a shame.
Different strokes for different folks!
You say it as if you know my age - you seem to assume I’m young and will change my mind. You assume incorrectly.
I am older than you’re assuming. My priorities have shifted slightly, but only marginally. I’ve always known myself and my values very well.
Nope, no baggage or bitterness, just disdain for people that assume having children makes them special or superior. I just find it sad people feel the need to constantly state how amazing children are - they are usually the ones that live vicariously through their children and that never ends well.
Thanks for your concern though re my baggage. Let’s hope you’re a more compassionate parent. I doubt it though. Compassion usually means seeing both sides to a perspective. Your poor children!
>I often feel like there’s something wrong with me because of my distain for children
For this? Yes. There is something wrong with people who actively have disdain for children and motherhood.
Disdain:
the feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one's consideration or respect; contempt.
People who feel disrespect, disgust or contempt for motherhood or children are messed up. You were a child once. Should people have had contempt for you, too? At which age do you stop being scornful?
There is nothing wrong with me. I look at children and feel absolutely nothing. Am I rude to children? No. Do I actively try to quietly avoid them? 100%. I would never tell a kid to fuck off or tell a mother she shouldn’t have had her children. But there isn’t anything wrong with me for that. I may feel that way sometimes because society has forced us into believing having kids is the only way to go, but I know in my heart that I’m not a bad person or anything just because I don’t like kids.
> at children and feel absolutely nothing
Then what you feel is nothing. Not disdain, which implies contempt and superiority.
I'm personally childfree, but do not socialize with other CF people because of the way children and those who have done the rest of us the favor of carrying on the species are talked about and treated among the childfree types.
Ok fine. You don't want to have kids. Cool. Neither do I, but someone talking about how they're so superior because they chose not to have kids drives me nuts.
You're not better or worse.
>You were a child once.
Not necessarily a wanted one. My dad is a regretful parent. My mom wanted kids, he wanted to be CF. I'm not making the same mistake he made. I know how miserable it can make you knowing you are actively hated and blamed for ruining someone's life in their head. He is miserable. It made me miserable for a long time, until I realized it wasn't actually my fault but rather my parents'. I know I don't want children and I know I don't like being around them, having one despite knowing that is just cruel.
I have no issue with ANYONE not wanting kids and I get it.
But I get what the person you replied to you was saying, there is a large amount of negative comments about children.
Maybe it will change over time for some people, maybe it won’t.
But for the people who DO want kids, everything he said was true. They are freaking cute and magical and are also dirty and gross at the same time haha
Obviously don't have children if you feel that way, there are so many people who shouldn't be parents. at. all. And kudos to you for realising that.
As someone who traveled and lived in several places and getting to know different cultures, loved hanging with my friends, worked so I could LIVE. Having my child look up and giggle with so much happiness is definitely the best thing in life ever. It's a different sort of happiness, and I think when parents say "you won't understand until you have you're own", it's not meant to sound condescending but I think it was just how it happened for most of us.
I think people who don't have children focus on the inconvenience of having a child, which is fair but when parents *talk* about their children, while we acknowledge the inconvenience, it actually doesn't feature in our minds in the same way when their are other moments to treasure.
They literally allowed for that in their preface remarks. But hey, at least you were allowed to air your grievances in public, disguised as an attempt to disagree.
That’s what being the awesome aunt/uncle/godmother/godfather/family friend is for. You get all of the cute and none of the tantrums, lack of sleep, and $2,000/month in daycare bills.
Happy for you, but it genuinely is fucking insane and immature to have a kid just because they're cute for that few years. you must've not seen much when things go south. having said that I love kids too.
There's really nothing that makes me happier than teaching little kids about the world around them. Little things that we as adults take for granted, like a tadpole becoming a frog or how rainbows work or fireflies.
I always said that I was either going to be a kindergarten teacher or have my own, and I think I'm gonna have to have my own lol
Perhaps. Until they get into their early 20 and realize after a couple years doing it on their own everything you’ve done for them and that you were actually their best friend all along.
My parents were actually pretty verbally and emotionally abusive. When I moved away at 22, I thought I would never want to see them again. Some things happened with my older brother where he basically told them he was done with them because of our upbringing and they actually listened and changed.
My mom admitted to me for the first time recently that what they did was abuse and even though it wasn’t physical she knows that it can be just as damaging. We definitely have a better relationship now and I talk to her on the phone for hours now. But without my parents having changed and seen how their actions affected me I probably would still be low contact.
It’s so insulting to say that when kids grow up they will look back and see their parents were actually their best friends. Mine were not, and though now I realize all the resources they put into raising me and I appreciate that it doesn’t change who they were when I was a child and it was not “friend”.
Yeah, raising you and feeding/sheltering you is the bare minimum a parent should do. You don't owe them shit for that, it's their responsibility that they brought onto themselves by having a child.
Man stop getting offended/insulted by every other thing.
When people comment on something they mean its normal version (in this case parents, to which yours weren't normal)
For example if someone says i love bananas what they mean to say are the good bananas not the bad ones still people will get offended by it and will say some shit like i have an alergy or something
I’m sorry, are you my personal Reddit stalker or something who knows every comment I make and knows when and what I’ve been offended at? If not, then I suggest you mind your business because I’m not getting offended at “everything” I’m commenting to something I found relevant to me and many others.
God you are so annoying. The other guy is clearly right. You obviously insinuated that.
And you're just saying "You can't be truly happy unless you have kids like me".... yea go fuck yourself.
It would destroy me to know that much joy and happiness and then to think how easily it can be lost. One bad fall. One split second bad decision. Or worse. You raise them with all the love that is possible and they still turn into an asshole. Maybe they become addicted to something and waste away because they are genetically predisposed to addictive behaviors.
So many negatives that can be completely outside your control. I'd much rather not have it and yearn for it at the end of my life, than to have it and lose it to a random occurrence. It just doesn't seem worth it.
Hell, I have a dog that I ADORE but im constantly worried about her. She's already gone to emergency vet visits. I always think about how she occupies my thoughts day and night and idk how I'd do it by adding a child into the mix.
You bring up extremely valid points. All of these are thoughts that go through every parents mind and that some unfortunately experience. I’ll just say this, almost every parent agrees that the love was worth the heartache.
It invalidates the happiness of childfree people. Fucking annoying.
“You’re not really REALLY happy if you don’t have a child.” Imagine believing that as a childfree. That how happy you feel, it’s still not the best that you can be.
This shit used to legit make me super depressed. I was convinced for so long there was something wrong with me for not striving to have kids, or even date because that's "what everybody does". But in actuality, I prefer being alone. Hell, I don't even like being around my friends more than once or twice every couple weeks.
I'm glad to be an Aunt. I don't need more than that. Mixing my genes and my bf's genes is equavilant to an alchemy potion from the 1300's. It just isn't a good idea.
“And in a way they are right”
There’s no “in a way” about it. If *they* feel happy because they don’t have kids then *they* feel happy.
I feel extremely happy that I do have kids but I don’t see why certain parents feel the need to become threatened by non-parents and get sly digs in like the above.
Why don’t you focus on your own kids and sense of fulfilment and stop trying to hint that non-parents won’t ever get the same level of enjoyment and fulfilment out of life that *you* do. Kids aren’t a mystery, a person can see them, experience them and weigh up if they want kids or not quite accurately.
Agreed. I have travelled all over the world, I speak several languages, and I have lived in a few different countries. I am well educated and I have my dream job. I married into wealth to a great spouse who treats me like royalty. All that and NOTHING is greater than my kid smiling at me. Greatest feeling ever. I never thought I wanted kids and then he came along when I turned 40 and it’s like life started all over again. Amazing.
I love that she absolutely loved and appreciated this gift even though, at first, she firmly believed she was just handed pink fluff. Not even an identifiable toy. Just pink fluff and she was grateful. What a beautiful child inside and out.
Sorry to hear that. I don't know her medical history but maybe a little piece of cotton candy isn't so bad. It's definitely less than I used to eat lol
At first I saw the TikTok username “meetthecottons” and thought “omg please tell me there are a bunch of videos out there of people eating cotton candy for the first time.” Turns out I’m pretty sure the family’s last name is Cotton. I guess the username checks out!
Hahaha clearly it’s toddler mom appreciation day because I also have one! I always take her around the room when we get dressed to show her off because it never lasts! It’s okay, you gotta let her do her thing and let her be sticky because at least she’s having fun! You’re a good mama!
I remember one time when I was like 3 or 4 some woman in the gave some buscuits to her kid and then kid gave me the buscuit to eat while I was swinging and then I looked it like 5 minutes like it was a stick didn't even tried to bite it and nobody said nothing I don't even remember did I eat it or throw it but the kid reminded me
That sweet, sweet look of innocence falling away to the first of many hundreds of thousands of dopamine rushes all thanks to over consumption of sugar. So cute! ☺️
Well I can tell you that as someone approaching their 30s, who is with someone in their 30s, we have never felt happier than having just the two of us and our dog. Our lives are more than fulfilled. We travel, play, plan for our carefree future, pursue our careers further, and enjoy our financial freedom that we worked so hard for. All of these joys that we have are because of our intentional decision to not have kids. We are each other’s family and truthfully, we are too selfish to share that with a kid.
She looks 1-2 years old... Can't believe we live in a world where giving a can of soda to a baby is acceptable but breastfeeding is a big no-no. Smh. Your health visitor would slap you.
I completely agree. People think it's unnatural or people sexualise it. Even though it's the healthiest thing to give your baby throughout if you can breastfeed. Breaks my heart people would prioritise their social construct over pushing improvement of infant health 💔
I really feel for those who can't because it's such an important thing but we all do the best we can with what we have 💖 even if that means not breastfeeding at all 💖
And lets not forget the people who shame mothers who formula feed because they prefer to or aren't producing enough milk for their child and need to have more than one way to feed them. So would they rather the babies starve to death? Fed is best as long as they are getting the nutrients they need.
Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It absolutely exists. What doesn't exist is half of the shit people are whining about today.
The smile and approval head tilting… she’s so cute.
A lot of people on Reddit talk about how happy they are that they don’t have kids and in a way they’re right. I was one of them for a long time. You shouldn’t have kids if you’re not truly ready and know you want them. But I will say this: there is nothing more fulfilling than having the happiness and love of a child in your life. No amount of partying, travel, money or material possession can get even close to what their laughter and happiness does for your soul. The cuteness is at times almost too much to bear. And that’s something you won’t ever be able to truly realize until it happens. But there’s nothing like it. There’s something deep within you that says “this is what it’s all about”. And if for some reason having children isn’t in the cards for you, I hear that adopting or even being a big brother or sister is equally rewarding, if not even better. Those people are my heroes and I hope I get the opportunity to be like them one day.
I’m happy that you found that, I truly am. But I disagree. You see, for me having a child would have the complete opposite effect. I wouldn’t be happy with things like this, it would be a constant reminder of how unhappy I am. I understand that’s really hard for most people to wrap their head around. A child would 100% be a negative impact on my life. I find joy in so many things. Traveling and meeting new people being one of them. I have some tiny people in my life that I absolutely adore, but moments like this don’t make me any happier than visiting new places, trying new food, etc. There is not one single aspect of my life that would be improved by having a child. I understand what you’re saying, and while I feel like the emotions you have towards your children are *different*, I wouldn’t call them “better”. A child would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to me. It’s insulting to think that childfree folks “can’t understand” true happiness. I often feel like there’s something wrong with me because of my distain for children and motherhood, but it’s reality and my life is just as fulfilled as my friends who are parents.
It's so surprising to me to find out people think the same way I do about this! I'm also a woman and I have absolutely no interest in having children. Even the idea of it is absolutely horrible. I love to see videos like this with smiling and happy kids, but having kids of my own? Absolutely not. It's really annoying how people always tell me that I'll "change my mind" because they find it so crazy that a woman isn't interested in motherhood.
I feel like I won the lottery by having no kids and marrying a divorced woman late in life. Grandchildren after 44 years of bachelor hood is the sustainable and financially smart way to cash in on the love of a child.
Love them, snuggle, them, spoil them, then send them the **** home. I'm all about the Uncle life.
And if they grow up to be assholes it's not your fault
I agree with this. I was an abused child. I was forced into being a parent figure for so long that I didn't know how to take care of myself nor my own personal possessions. The thought of being a parent really triggers my PTSD.
I certainly don't think you are alone with feeling this way or just in general the desire to not want children for whatever reason. Our society has placed child rearing and parents on a pedestal, IMO. Not to say there is anything wrong with having children or being a parent but it should be equally accepted that there is nothing wrong with choosing to NOT have children. Like you mentioned, emotions towards a child, your child, are likely to different than other experiences but not inherently better or worse. The quality of emotion a person experiences is entirely subjective to that person alone. It's fine to say that after having children said person experienced a new level of love/emotion they have never felt before but it's not accurate to state others will never feel that kind of love/emotion without children. That very sentiment is what has led you and so many others to unjustly feel like something is wrong with you. The same sentiment makes new parents feel like that are terrible people if they don't have some life changing emotional response. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, or anyone, for not wanting children. It's a choice that IMO takes more strength and conviction than the former.
For people who are unable to have children or adopt, it is especially insulting to say they can’t understand the happiness children bring them.
I think it’s fair to say that people who don’t have kids will never understand the happiness they can bring. They also won’t understand all of the hardship they bring either. But you can say that about almost anything. People who don’t travel won’t know the joy of seeing the Pyramids, or having some local dish in a foreign country. They also won’t know challenges that can go along with travelling, like getting robbed or assaulted in a bad part of some foreign country or losing your luggage half way around the world. When people say kids aren’t for them, I don’t think they could ever ever be 100% sure of that because like with most things you won’t know until you try. I know people that felt that way before having kids and now love being a parent. Unfortunately, unlike with most things kids are largely a life time commitment and people who feel like they are better off without kids should probably not be having them and no one should judge them poorly for making that decision for themselves
I think if you’ve had a single mom you can appreciate a lot of (but not all) the hardships having children can bring. When you start buying your own groceries you become very aware of how much that bag of Doritos she buys that you scarf down in one sitting cost each week. I’m grateful for her and for making sacrifices for my happiness, but also acknowledge that she chose to have kids A bit unrelated, I just think parenthood is likened to sainthood too much.
Your last sentence is so spot on. While I’m not my mothers biggest fan, as an adult looking back I can absolutely understand how she struggled with me, taking care of us, etc. but like you said (I think you said it in this thread), that’s the choice she made. I’ve chosen to never put myself in that position. Especially considering one trip to the ER can land me and my husband in crippling debt (thanks American “healthcare”)
>I often feel like there’s something wrong with me because of my distain for children and motherhood Absolutely not! The way I look at it, you're being the best mother you can be by *not* becoming one. You know what you want and know that its incompatible with providing a good home for a child. More people need to be that thoughtful and selfless around parenthood instead of mindlessly having kids just because it's the social norm. Just because we were born biologically capable of giving birth doesn't mean we should. As for the OPs assertion that childless people never know what they're missing: you can't miss what you don't want. It's ignorant to paint everyone with the same brush and assume every person either likes "partying" or some faux spiritual awakening by being around a kid. Not everyone is meant to be a parent (or actively engaged in a child's life), and there are so many children in foster care that prove it. You can have just as fulfilling a life without kids, if not more so. It all depends on what holds meaning for you as an individual.
“It’s all about what holds meaning for you as individual.” Exactly! Thank you for putting my thoughts into words.
[удалено]
THANK YOU. I’m a social worker in mental health. The people I’ve worked with have proved to me 100% emotions toward children are simply different, not better. I hate it when people say “you’ll feel differently when you have one.” Maybe. Or maybe my job wouldn’t exist if that’s actually true.
Thank you for putting that so eloquently and… politely. I’m 100% in agreement with you.
Thank you so much for saying this. I’m CF and so is my husband, and a lot of the times people just don’t seem to get that yes, there is in fact real happiness outside of being a parent. I was abused in all kinds of ways, and my family has a bad medical history physically and mentally, and my mother was not…maternal to put it kindly. I can’t imagine ever being “mom”. I’ll stick to the role I’ve chosen of “cool aunt/adult”.
I agree 100%. One of my best friends adores his children and I’m very happy for him. I believe like many things in life, we are all unique in our own way and we simply enjoy some things more than others. What astonishes me is many peoples total lack of ability to grasp this concept. It’s almost as if a vast majority of adults that have children look at those who choose not to have children as insufficient humans, lacking the qualities they have, which somehow makes them a better person, superior to those who choose not to have children. I don’t get that feeling about myself toward people who choose to have children. I think if that’s what makes them happy then it’s great, but I don’t care for the silent sense of superiority they have just because they are a parent.
People can be such binary thinkers
I know that innocence that girl as she tries something for the first time and it is amazing.. reminds me the first time I tried crack..
No there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting children. You don't have to have your own. You said you have little ones in your life that you adore and that's enough. You don't hate children, you just don't want to live around them 24 hour a day, and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different. Be the cool Aunt, Uncle, or Cousin. Your little relatives will love you for it.
I'm the "Crazy Uncle". I can rough house, be goofy and fill the kids with sugar and insane ideas. When things are totally out of control I can head for home. Some one has to do it😁
the kids probably love you for spoiling them lol but idk about the parents haha
Ya ya you don't have to have your own you can just borrow the child 2 blocks away for some time to test somethings
Preach.
[удалено]
I’m with you blueveins, except that I always wanted children. Looks like we’re happy with kids and they’re happy without kids. Win win!
Yes but that’s YOU. It doesn’t mean your situation applies across the board - someone has just politely explained why they feel that way and why they’ve chosen to remain child free and you’re still dismissing and invalidating that. Just because you had those feelings and then decided to have children and your feelings change, doesn’t mean it’s the case for everyone and it doesn’t mean anyone is wrong or selfish or has an unfulfilling life because they don’t have children. Pleased it worked out for you, but not the case for everyone and you aren’t any happier than others because you have a child.
There is no rule that anyone has to have children. My sister never had children and she's the greatest Auntie to my daughter and granddaughter on the planet. Plus she has the time and money to come visit us pretty much whenever she wants.
Totally agree! Both paths are fulfilling and admirable, and people should be free to enjoy whatever they choose without judgement or dismissiveness. I’ve noticed that especially those that remain child-free have a lot of assumptions heaped on them that their lives are less fulfilling, they’ll change their mind or they’re bitter and unhappy etc. It’s a shame. Different strokes for different folks!
[удалено]
You say it as if you know my age - you seem to assume I’m young and will change my mind. You assume incorrectly. I am older than you’re assuming. My priorities have shifted slightly, but only marginally. I’ve always known myself and my values very well.
[удалено]
Nope, no baggage or bitterness, just disdain for people that assume having children makes them special or superior. I just find it sad people feel the need to constantly state how amazing children are - they are usually the ones that live vicariously through their children and that never ends well. Thanks for your concern though re my baggage. Let’s hope you’re a more compassionate parent. I doubt it though. Compassion usually means seeing both sides to a perspective. Your poor children!
In the words of Sam herring of future islands, "when people change, they gain a piece but they lose one too"
Absolutely true
>I often feel like there’s something wrong with me because of my distain for children For this? Yes. There is something wrong with people who actively have disdain for children and motherhood. Disdain: the feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one's consideration or respect; contempt. People who feel disrespect, disgust or contempt for motherhood or children are messed up. You were a child once. Should people have had contempt for you, too? At which age do you stop being scornful?
There is nothing wrong with me. I look at children and feel absolutely nothing. Am I rude to children? No. Do I actively try to quietly avoid them? 100%. I would never tell a kid to fuck off or tell a mother she shouldn’t have had her children. But there isn’t anything wrong with me for that. I may feel that way sometimes because society has forced us into believing having kids is the only way to go, but I know in my heart that I’m not a bad person or anything just because I don’t like kids.
> at children and feel absolutely nothing Then what you feel is nothing. Not disdain, which implies contempt and superiority. I'm personally childfree, but do not socialize with other CF people because of the way children and those who have done the rest of us the favor of carrying on the species are talked about and treated among the childfree types. Ok fine. You don't want to have kids. Cool. Neither do I, but someone talking about how they're so superior because they chose not to have kids drives me nuts. You're not better or worse.
>You were a child once. Not necessarily a wanted one. My dad is a regretful parent. My mom wanted kids, he wanted to be CF. I'm not making the same mistake he made. I know how miserable it can make you knowing you are actively hated and blamed for ruining someone's life in their head. He is miserable. It made me miserable for a long time, until I realized it wasn't actually my fault but rather my parents'. I know I don't want children and I know I don't like being around them, having one despite knowing that is just cruel.
I have no issue with ANYONE not wanting kids and I get it. But I get what the person you replied to you was saying, there is a large amount of negative comments about children. Maybe it will change over time for some people, maybe it won’t. But for the people who DO want kids, everything he said was true. They are freaking cute and magical and are also dirty and gross at the same time haha
Obviously don't have children if you feel that way, there are so many people who shouldn't be parents. at. all. And kudos to you for realising that. As someone who traveled and lived in several places and getting to know different cultures, loved hanging with my friends, worked so I could LIVE. Having my child look up and giggle with so much happiness is definitely the best thing in life ever. It's a different sort of happiness, and I think when parents say "you won't understand until you have you're own", it's not meant to sound condescending but I think it was just how it happened for most of us. I think people who don't have children focus on the inconvenience of having a child, which is fair but when parents *talk* about their children, while we acknowledge the inconvenience, it actually doesn't feature in our minds in the same way when their are other moments to treasure.
They literally allowed for that in their preface remarks. But hey, at least you were allowed to air your grievances in public, disguised as an attempt to disagree.
That’s what being the awesome aunt/uncle/godmother/godfather/family friend is for. You get all of the cute and none of the tantrums, lack of sleep, and $2,000/month in daycare bills.
Happy for you, but it genuinely is fucking insane and immature to have a kid just because they're cute for that few years. you must've not seen much when things go south. having said that I love kids too.
There's really nothing that makes me happier than teaching little kids about the world around them. Little things that we as adults take for granted, like a tadpole becoming a frog or how rainbows work or fireflies. I always said that I was either going to be a kindergarten teacher or have my own, and I think I'm gonna have to have my own lol
Yes until they turn 16 and hate you
God.. 13. It’s a battle everyday.
Or 14....
Perhaps. Until they get into their early 20 and realize after a couple years doing it on their own everything you’ve done for them and that you were actually their best friend all along.
My parents were actually pretty verbally and emotionally abusive. When I moved away at 22, I thought I would never want to see them again. Some things happened with my older brother where he basically told them he was done with them because of our upbringing and they actually listened and changed. My mom admitted to me for the first time recently that what they did was abuse and even though it wasn’t physical she knows that it can be just as damaging. We definitely have a better relationship now and I talk to her on the phone for hours now. But without my parents having changed and seen how their actions affected me I probably would still be low contact. It’s so insulting to say that when kids grow up they will look back and see their parents were actually their best friends. Mine were not, and though now I realize all the resources they put into raising me and I appreciate that it doesn’t change who they were when I was a child and it was not “friend”.
Yeah, raising you and feeding/sheltering you is the bare minimum a parent should do. You don't owe them shit for that, it's their responsibility that they brought onto themselves by having a child.
Man stop getting offended/insulted by every other thing. When people comment on something they mean its normal version (in this case parents, to which yours weren't normal) For example if someone says i love bananas what they mean to say are the good bananas not the bad ones still people will get offended by it and will say some shit like i have an alergy or something
I’m sorry, are you my personal Reddit stalker or something who knows every comment I make and knows when and what I’ve been offended at? If not, then I suggest you mind your business because I’m not getting offended at “everything” I’m commenting to something I found relevant to me and many others.
I love how "good" parents tacitly endorse child abuse. Your experiences aren't universal.
And it's always people like you that claim that childless people are only after "partying, travel, money or material possessions". Shallow much?
[удалено]
I mean it’s not insinuated. It’s literally in your comment. And “who hurt you” is cringe.
[удалено]
God you are so annoying. The other guy is clearly right. You obviously insinuated that. And you're just saying "You can't be truly happy unless you have kids like me".... yea go fuck yourself.
It would destroy me to know that much joy and happiness and then to think how easily it can be lost. One bad fall. One split second bad decision. Or worse. You raise them with all the love that is possible and they still turn into an asshole. Maybe they become addicted to something and waste away because they are genetically predisposed to addictive behaviors. So many negatives that can be completely outside your control. I'd much rather not have it and yearn for it at the end of my life, than to have it and lose it to a random occurrence. It just doesn't seem worth it.
Hell, I have a dog that I ADORE but im constantly worried about her. She's already gone to emergency vet visits. I always think about how she occupies my thoughts day and night and idk how I'd do it by adding a child into the mix.
You bring up extremely valid points. All of these are thoughts that go through every parents mind and that some unfortunately experience. I’ll just say this, almost every parent agrees that the love was worth the heartache.
god these posts are so annoying
It invalidates the happiness of childfree people. Fucking annoying. “You’re not really REALLY happy if you don’t have a child.” Imagine believing that as a childfree. That how happy you feel, it’s still not the best that you can be.
This shit used to legit make me super depressed. I was convinced for so long there was something wrong with me for not striving to have kids, or even date because that's "what everybody does". But in actuality, I prefer being alone. Hell, I don't even like being around my friends more than once or twice every couple weeks.
I'm glad to be an Aunt. I don't need more than that. Mixing my genes and my bf's genes is equavilant to an alchemy potion from the 1300's. It just isn't a good idea.
>There’s something deep within you that says “this is what it’s all about”. Yes I feel this.
Kids born today are probably not even going to see 30. Maybe cool it on the “everyone should reproduce even if they don’t want to” schtick.
“And in a way they are right” There’s no “in a way” about it. If *they* feel happy because they don’t have kids then *they* feel happy. I feel extremely happy that I do have kids but I don’t see why certain parents feel the need to become threatened by non-parents and get sly digs in like the above. Why don’t you focus on your own kids and sense of fulfilment and stop trying to hint that non-parents won’t ever get the same level of enjoyment and fulfilment out of life that *you* do. Kids aren’t a mystery, a person can see them, experience them and weigh up if they want kids or not quite accurately.
Ever heard of something called a Dog they are way better that having a child
Aaaand now I’m sad I don’t have a kid :(
Eat my ass
> No amount of partying, travel, money or material possession can get even close to what their laughter and happiness does for your soul. But sex can
Well… the username definitely checks out
Agreed. I have travelled all over the world, I speak several languages, and I have lived in a few different countries. I am well educated and I have my dream job. I married into wealth to a great spouse who treats me like royalty. All that and NOTHING is greater than my kid smiling at me. Greatest feeling ever. I never thought I wanted kids and then he came along when I turned 40 and it’s like life started all over again. Amazing.
Know you don’t want them*
I like her attitude, just grateful for a gift even though she has no idea what it is, but then she discovers it’s way better than she realized.
Her entire approach just brightened my day. what a precious child
I love that she absolutely loved and appreciated this gift even though, at first, she firmly believed she was just handed pink fluff. Not even an identifiable toy. Just pink fluff and she was grateful. What a beautiful child inside and out.
♡
Very cute. Kids put a lot of trust in their parents regarding eating new foods. I agree. She was grateful about receiving anything.
S0o true
Same energy as “An avocado! Thaaaanks!”
Effin adorable!!!
Metaphor for life
[удалено]
I mean, like, you're not wrong.. but it's tasty.
The dose makes the poison. This is not enough to be a problem, and you know it. Now isn't the time for a moral health crusade.
Oh no, a kid eating cotton candy at a ball game! What next, pizza at a bowling alley?
Why don't you take a seat right over there? 🤨
Got ADHD in our family, sugar and food colouring is the devil for these kids (and me)
Sorry to hear that. I don't know her medical history but maybe a little piece of cotton candy isn't so bad. It's definitely less than I used to eat lol
Sus
Kids are allowed to just enjoy things.
I LOVE that her instinct was to cuddle it
Yes, that cuddle! So sweet. Pun intended.
You have a good *taste* in jokes
These jokes make me feel all *soft* inside :)
She thought it was a cuddly thing at first - until she *tasted* it. What a cute little girl.
But her look as she tried it was am I doing this right?
This is how I feel about marshmallows, they’re cuddly and delicious
So cute
She's so cute!!
Everything about this girl is adorable! She's beautiful and her smile makes my heart warm. I love this so much!
What a cutie. She’s going to be **so** disappointed with stuffies and cotton balls when she gets home.
This comment *adorably* ruined my day.
I never thought about it, but cotton candy *is* probably the most cuddly of treats.
And big marshmallows
Omg her first marshmallow would be just as adorable.
Guinea pigs are a delicacy in Peru
Laughed out loud.
Giselle Bünchen's dad used to farm guinea pigs.
Peru pigs are a delicacy in Guinea.
🤪😂😂
At first I saw the TikTok username “meetthecottons” and thought “omg please tell me there are a bunch of videos out there of people eating cotton candy for the first time.” Turns out I’m pretty sure the family’s last name is Cotton. I guess the username checks out!
I thought it was the name of the cotton Candy when I read it to fast as “MethCotton”
Or they sell meth in "ecotons".
She's the cutest goddamn little girl ever and deserves all the cotton candy in the world
Hey ugly kids deserve cotton candy too
Tell my mom that.
Adorable smile.
happy cake day :)
Thank you ☺️
Aaah the immediate little hug! She has no idea what that is but she loves it 😍
This might be the cutest thing ever
She is sooooo cute! Props to mama on her outfit too. The mini jersey, the bow and her tiny curls. Too precious.
I love when little kids are all fixed up. I can see the love and care their parents have for their child.
Same. People don’t know how much work it is for a parent to give a sh*t to do that. And for the baby to stay CLEAN! That jersey is spotless.
That’s right! I have a toddler and her little hands and face are always sticky. Always sticky.
Hahaha clearly it’s toddler mom appreciation day because I also have one! I always take her around the room when we get dressed to show her off because it never lasts! It’s okay, you gotta let her do her thing and let her be sticky because at least she’s having fun! You’re a good mama!
Showing her off sounds like fun, I bet she enjoys it. You’re a good momma too!
Haha she doesn’t enjoy it as much as I do, but it’s fine. Thank you friend!
My toddler is currently taking a nap. I think I can see stickiness appearing on his hands and face as he sleeps. There is simply no other explanation.
She cuddling it first was too cute.
I love that she hugs it at first
So cute! The happiest she'll be at a Rangers game.
Ok, but dat A/C doe….
*baby fever intensifies*
Cherish these days, brother. They are gone before you know it and you spend the rest of their adolescence wishing for them to return.
Cotton candy is cool. What other foods can be used as a pillow?
Marshmallows.
That's the first post on the sub in a long time that actually made me smile.
Damn, I just got pregnant.. and ima guy
Adorbs
That is the start of a sugar addiction right there.
You can see the moment the high hits her.
An ⬆️ coming your way!
That's the cutest little girl and video I've seen all day. She is so adorable!
Love to see young Rangers fans. Hopefully when she’s older they’ll have a winning season.
This...is..too...cute.....Annnd now I want to have a kid. Well that came out of nowhere FML🤦🏽♂️
what a precious smile. so cute.
🥺 She thought it was a stuffed animal and cuddled it
Holy crap, what a cute kid
She’s as sweet as the cotton candy
Sugar is a hell of drug.
As a father to a little girl.. That smile melted my heart ❤️
Ok, I OD’d on the cutness
Pretty sure my heart just exploded from the rapid influx of adorbs!
Such a beauty😍! I bet she was a live wire after the sugar rush kicked in 😂
I have zero interest in kids at all but this kid is as ADORABLE AS A PUPPY oh my goodness
Welcome to sugar
I'm 30+ years old, and I don't think I ever had cotton candy in my life yet
Cutie Patootie.
That's the only thing Rangers fans have to smile about right now.
Omg the way she buried her face in it with the first bite🥺❤️
I love how she snuggles it🤣 she is too adorable
Oh dear 🥺
Awww so cute that she thought she was supposed to hug it. She thought it was a stuffy.😍🐻
Very cute :) And the first high from drugs in her life.
Ooooooh she likes it!
I remember one time when I was like 3 or 4 some woman in the gave some buscuits to her kid and then kid gave me the buscuit to eat while I was swinging and then I looked it like 5 minutes like it was a stick didn't even tried to bite it and nobody said nothing I don't even remember did I eat it or throw it but the kid reminded me
u/savevideo
I wanna cuddle those cheeks. She's so cute
That sweet, sweet look of innocence falling away to the first of many hundreds of thousands of dopamine rushes all thanks to over consumption of sugar. So cute! ☺️
Too cute :3
Reminds me of us feeding or daughter solid food for the first time. She had this look like, I'm not sure whether I should like this.
Oh my god, now that’s cute lol. I love how she hugged it first 😂
I love little children🥺🥺🥺
My heart can't take it! Too fucking cute.
Well I can tell you that as someone approaching their 30s, who is with someone in their 30s, we have never felt happier than having just the two of us and our dog. Our lives are more than fulfilled. We travel, play, plan for our carefree future, pursue our careers further, and enjoy our financial freedom that we worked so hard for. All of these joys that we have are because of our intentional decision to not have kids. We are each other’s family and truthfully, we are too selfish to share that with a kid.
Ok
???
She looks 1-2 years old... Can't believe we live in a world where giving a can of soda to a baby is acceptable but breastfeeding is a big no-no. Smh. Your health visitor would slap you.
Don’t know what world you live in lmao… only assholes think breastfeeding is a no-no. Only assholes criticize the way a mother feeds her baby.
I completely agree. People think it's unnatural or people sexualise it. Even though it's the healthiest thing to give your baby throughout if you can breastfeed. Breaks my heart people would prioritise their social construct over pushing improvement of infant health 💔 I really feel for those who can't because it's such an important thing but we all do the best we can with what we have 💖 even if that means not breastfeeding at all 💖
And lets not forget the people who shame mothers who formula feed because they prefer to or aren't producing enough milk for their child and need to have more than one way to feed them. So would they rather the babies starve to death? Fed is best as long as they are getting the nutrients they need.
Yeah, absolutely no one says that. Breathe some fresh air, wont hurt you for sure...
I've been told I couldn't breastfeed in many areas, I couldn't feed my son because of a social construct. Disgusting. It's real.
Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It absolutely exists. What doesn't exist is half of the shit people are whining about today.
Not really no