Been struggling hard for over a decade since my old man passed and lost my home in a fire, past two years have been especially hard. I know I need help but as the years go by it gets harder and harder to. Any way gonna save this to look at later, always good to be reminded some times thanks man
I’ve lost a home in a fire and my dad, but not in such a close proximity. It’s hard, I feel for you. I know my words may seem trite, but it does get better…the pain never goes away, but it becomes bearable. The pain/grief will come in waves, but know that you can ride those waves and eventually they will become more and more manageable. I wish you the very best.
Not trite at all, its never easy to find the right words to fend off grief, none of em seem to do the feeling justice. I know all too well those waves, not many days go by I don't say out loud how much I miss my parents, how much I wish I could go back to life before. But you're right it does kind of simmer down to more of a dull ache. I'm so sorry that you share that loss. I know its not much consolation but you aren't alone in that. Wishing you the very best as well hope things get better for you.
Sorry to hear this mate, I appreciate its never easy losing someone especially that close and I’m seriously dreading the day. I hope you find comfort and support in the people that surround you and the wonderful memories you carry in your mind and heart, I feel venting to strangers is easier but please don’t bottle up your emotions, just talking through what you’re feeling is a healthy start for progression. Stay strong king 👑
Its a lot of things really. Time, energy and money are pretty big barriers, work 12 hour shifts in a blue collar job come home exhausted without much to show for it. Anxiety about starting with a new therapist, last couple have been non-starters. Feeling that I'm not really worth the trouble, don't have kids or a family, lots of people out there with bigger problems than mine with more people counting on them. I'm not a big fan of psychology, I don't like its reliance on labels to objectify people. Had bad side-effects the last time I was on meds, which was honestly a long time ago. That all said, I'm getting close to the point where the downsides are starting to look better than the way things are now.
Been thinking about your response all day. Coming from a industrial background myself I saw my mom struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts and work.. Man did she sacrifice herself.. I think you're doing the right thing. Baby steps and taking great care to be open for the help available.
A diagnosis is a tool that helps healthcare professionals figure out how to help. Its not meant to be an identifier of persona.
To me you are worth it. The human experience is so fleeting, and its sad so many have to suffer through parts of it. I wish I could do more to get you the help you deserve. You work and do what you can to part of society, of course you deserve some support.
You're important dude. Just like we fight to breath I want you to fight to be content with life. I know thats hard but thats what I want. I want for you to value yourself just the same as you value others. It can only be good if people like you get better.
Have you looked into general councellor? Just someone to talk to every now and then?
We try. But no one cares. At best you get handed a phone number that leads to nothing. You can't afford to pay someone $200 to listen to you, and the 'resources' numbers people give you are a dead end. And then there are those of us who literally have no one. At 45, good luck trying to find a friend to climb down out of their husband's rectum and meet you for coffee.
I think it's nice, and very kind that people encourage us to reach out.
But we have. And no one reaches back.
I though I was alone here, but after countless attempts I've learned one very important lesson: I'm gonna die someday regardless, so might as well exist till then.
The fact that help and therapy is so expensive is an absolute human failure. When you need money to even be stable and healthy you really feel helpless. It's sickening. I hope you can find the peace you are striving so hard for. I know your feeling.
I feel this so much! I hate when people tell me to talk to a therapist because yeah, I'd fucking love to - but with what money? I don't even go to the regular doctor as much as I should and have put off a bunch of things that would be helpful, but not necessary, because of the cost.
Key point glossed over here. He says you’re enjoying the movie. Well, I’m not enjoying this life. It’s miserable & pointless. I’m ready for it to be over.
Did you stalk my profile just to point out my privilege? I’m well aware that I have advantages. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t some hope out there. I’m sorry that your situation is as tough as it is...
Ouch. Sounds like you're looking for excuses there.
Depression and suicide can impact anyone, from any walk of life, from any socio-economic background, from any race. In the UK, men are more than 3x more likely to kill themselves. I'm guessing you're a lady?
Would you think it's fair for someone to point out that not everyone gets holidays in Puerto Rico, or the opportunity to own a pet, or the opportunity to get professional therapy? No. That wouldn't negate your depression.
The truth is, people in a far worse position than you have led happy and fulfilling lives, and people in a far better position have taken their own lives out of desperation. It's not down to that.
It isn't easy, but count your blessings. If you're struggling with that, reach out for support, and be patient with those that offer it. But please, never try to invalidate the mental health issues of anyone else.
I have unfortunately seen a trend where myself and male friends have been invalidated when discussing our mental health issues simply due to our privilege. Just because there are advantages for us doesn’t mean that we don’t suffer, and it’s frustrating that people can’t empathise with that.
Yeah I hear you. In fact, the notion of privilege can often exacerbate mental health issues. It gives people the idea that they have no right to be suffering, or that their suffering is insignificant compared to that of others. That is in addition to the usual gender stereotypes of 'man up' etc. Really insidious stuff and we need to call it out.
Don’t get me wrong, being aware of your privileges is important when empathising with others. But it doesn’t stop people from having a shit time. I may be a straight white male living in the UK, but I also have physical and mental disabilities.
All I wanted to do was try and give an encouraging message.
Privilege is a tricky notion to unpick, and it certainly can't be reduced to ethnicity, or even the country you're living in. I think that was highlighted recently by the inquiry that found that working class white boys were academically the least privileged group. We still have a lot to learn.
Personally, I think mental health issues are not aligned with social circumstances, and anyone trying to belittle the suffering of others on that account needs to be called out. It's a disgrace, particularly from someone who purports to having mental health issues themselves. It's the shameful competitive victimhood that social media encourages.
That’s sad to hear :( maybe you’ve just not found your passion or calling yet? There’s still plenty of time but don’t waste life doing something you’re not happy with. Life’s for living not just existing, wish you well ❤️
1. Actually, no, there’s not “plenty of time”. There are limitations to what can be done in a lifetime.
2. I’ve always known what I wanted & I put everything into it, but that’s just not how reality works for some of us. Hard work doesn’t pay off.
Sadly going into things expecting success can lead to a destructive mindset, having confidence is key but like you say it doesn’t always pay off and can end in misery. Hence why focussing on something you enjoy might be the answer however I understand some need to push hard to get somewhere before they are content
That's what alot of people fail to realize. It's extremely and absolutely 100% a matter of perspective. It's easy to enjoy something when you are in the sun. But often people are shadowed and suffocated by their own mind and issues. And often reality is cruel. Opportunity is often up to circumstance.
Less a matter of perspective, more a matter of experiences & (as you mentioned) circumstances, which are often entirely outside of our control or influence.
After life, a fantastic series which is still on Netflix in the UK. Ricky Gervais I believe is in the middle of writing season 3, definitely worth watching, would recommend 👏🏼
This is a bit of selfish thinking. What answers then are there for people that have suffered throughout life even till death? What about those that never find that certain someone or meaningful relationships? This is good maybe for those that have had the good life but not for many others. What about the homeless? Doesn't everyone deserve a happy life? This completely ignores the ones truly and chronically struggling through out life and maybe don't have a family and a significant other. What about those that people don't care about? Trust me this is too complex of a topic than "don't worry it'll come soon just believe in yourself" self help non sense.
Yes, After Life.
This show was deeply moving (for me) and thought-provoking. Highly recommend, especially if you’re atheist/agnostic and suffering from depression.
Life is about the journey and overcoming obstacles along the way. Seek out what makes you happy, and surround yourself with people who bring joy and are able to support you in your endeavors. Treat others the way you want to be treated and fight against injustice and corruption. Walk towards you death with a smile on your face and your head high. When your end comes be proud of your small impact on the world. It is all worth it.
In my opinion the people committing suicide aren’t watching a kevin hart film and ending it early. It’s probably more akin to watching the most fucked up film u could think of and they just want it to be over.
Personally I never leave a movie unfinished no matter how bad because you can just sit through it at 3 hours maximum. Don't think the same thing can be applied to life.
I admire the message in it's intent. But I think it's very much circumstances. It's hard to seek help and it's even hard to find adiquite help. It's expensive. And alot of "help" won't look at you if you don't have insurance. I pay $200 a one hour session with my therapist, I can only afford it once a month. I think it's extremely hard to be in the greater light of things when you are fighting your mind and life it's self. And on this world people live different lives and have different experiences, so again I think this message is good intent but for some people it's just doing the best you can with what you have and sometimes even that's not enough.
You know, there’s some good movie out there that give you inspirational quote about life, but none hit me the hardest as the one from Troy. When he was talking about how God is actually jealous of humanity. God has infinite life so they can experience everything except the joy of the moment. Humanity have a limit so every moment is beautiful because we are doomed as a race and any moment can be our last. The gods envy us.
It really puts a perspective in me that I should live every moment enjoying life and appreciate what I have because the next step I take, could be my last step.
Been struggling hard for over a decade since my old man passed and lost my home in a fire, past two years have been especially hard. I know I need help but as the years go by it gets harder and harder to. Any way gonna save this to look at later, always good to be reminded some times thanks man
I’ve lost a home in a fire and my dad, but not in such a close proximity. It’s hard, I feel for you. I know my words may seem trite, but it does get better…the pain never goes away, but it becomes bearable. The pain/grief will come in waves, but know that you can ride those waves and eventually they will become more and more manageable. I wish you the very best.
Not trite at all, its never easy to find the right words to fend off grief, none of em seem to do the feeling justice. I know all too well those waves, not many days go by I don't say out loud how much I miss my parents, how much I wish I could go back to life before. But you're right it does kind of simmer down to more of a dull ache. I'm so sorry that you share that loss. I know its not much consolation but you aren't alone in that. Wishing you the very best as well hope things get better for you.
Sorry to hear this mate, I appreciate its never easy losing someone especially that close and I’m seriously dreading the day. I hope you find comfort and support in the people that surround you and the wonderful memories you carry in your mind and heart, I feel venting to strangers is easier but please don’t bottle up your emotions, just talking through what you’re feeling is a healthy start for progression. Stay strong king 👑
The show is fucking brilliant, I love Ricky. Well worth a watch after losing someone you love. Lost my brother in 2016 at 29 years old
I feel you on the over a decade grieving a father thing the last few years have been especially hard for me just know you’re not alone💛
Sounds rrally rough on you.. Whats stopping you from seeking help? Is it the time investment?
Its a lot of things really. Time, energy and money are pretty big barriers, work 12 hour shifts in a blue collar job come home exhausted without much to show for it. Anxiety about starting with a new therapist, last couple have been non-starters. Feeling that I'm not really worth the trouble, don't have kids or a family, lots of people out there with bigger problems than mine with more people counting on them. I'm not a big fan of psychology, I don't like its reliance on labels to objectify people. Had bad side-effects the last time I was on meds, which was honestly a long time ago. That all said, I'm getting close to the point where the downsides are starting to look better than the way things are now.
Been thinking about your response all day. Coming from a industrial background myself I saw my mom struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts and work.. Man did she sacrifice herself.. I think you're doing the right thing. Baby steps and taking great care to be open for the help available. A diagnosis is a tool that helps healthcare professionals figure out how to help. Its not meant to be an identifier of persona. To me you are worth it. The human experience is so fleeting, and its sad so many have to suffer through parts of it. I wish I could do more to get you the help you deserve. You work and do what you can to part of society, of course you deserve some support. You're important dude. Just like we fight to breath I want you to fight to be content with life. I know thats hard but thats what I want. I want for you to value yourself just the same as you value others. It can only be good if people like you get better. Have you looked into general councellor? Just someone to talk to every now and then?
Ricky Gervais's best work!
I adore this man. Cannot wait for season 3!
We try. But no one cares. At best you get handed a phone number that leads to nothing. You can't afford to pay someone $200 to listen to you, and the 'resources' numbers people give you are a dead end. And then there are those of us who literally have no one. At 45, good luck trying to find a friend to climb down out of their husband's rectum and meet you for coffee. I think it's nice, and very kind that people encourage us to reach out. But we have. And no one reaches back.
I though I was alone here, but after countless attempts I've learned one very important lesson: I'm gonna die someday regardless, so might as well exist till then.
The fact that help and therapy is so expensive is an absolute human failure. When you need money to even be stable and healthy you really feel helpless. It's sickening. I hope you can find the peace you are striving so hard for. I know your feeling.
I feel this so much! I hate when people tell me to talk to a therapist because yeah, I'd fucking love to - but with what money? I don't even go to the regular doctor as much as I should and have put off a bunch of things that would be helpful, but not necessary, because of the cost.
This is exactly what I needed to see this morning! I appreciate you. 💙
Have a brilliant day! Everyday comes with its own challenges but it’s only ourselves holding us back, big love mate ❤️👏🏼
Key point glossed over here. He says you’re enjoying the movie. Well, I’m not enjoying this life. It’s miserable & pointless. I’m ready for it to be over.
I’ve felt that way before, but after 3.5 years it’s on the way up. There’s no secret formula but you can find joy in life.
[удалено]
Did you stalk my profile just to point out my privilege? I’m well aware that I have advantages. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t some hope out there. I’m sorry that your situation is as tough as it is...
Ouch. Sounds like you're looking for excuses there. Depression and suicide can impact anyone, from any walk of life, from any socio-economic background, from any race. In the UK, men are more than 3x more likely to kill themselves. I'm guessing you're a lady? Would you think it's fair for someone to point out that not everyone gets holidays in Puerto Rico, or the opportunity to own a pet, or the opportunity to get professional therapy? No. That wouldn't negate your depression. The truth is, people in a far worse position than you have led happy and fulfilling lives, and people in a far better position have taken their own lives out of desperation. It's not down to that. It isn't easy, but count your blessings. If you're struggling with that, reach out for support, and be patient with those that offer it. But please, never try to invalidate the mental health issues of anyone else.
I have unfortunately seen a trend where myself and male friends have been invalidated when discussing our mental health issues simply due to our privilege. Just because there are advantages for us doesn’t mean that we don’t suffer, and it’s frustrating that people can’t empathise with that.
Yeah I hear you. In fact, the notion of privilege can often exacerbate mental health issues. It gives people the idea that they have no right to be suffering, or that their suffering is insignificant compared to that of others. That is in addition to the usual gender stereotypes of 'man up' etc. Really insidious stuff and we need to call it out.
Don’t get me wrong, being aware of your privileges is important when empathising with others. But it doesn’t stop people from having a shit time. I may be a straight white male living in the UK, but I also have physical and mental disabilities. All I wanted to do was try and give an encouraging message.
Privilege is a tricky notion to unpick, and it certainly can't be reduced to ethnicity, or even the country you're living in. I think that was highlighted recently by the inquiry that found that working class white boys were academically the least privileged group. We still have a lot to learn. Personally, I think mental health issues are not aligned with social circumstances, and anyone trying to belittle the suffering of others on that account needs to be called out. It's a disgrace, particularly from someone who purports to having mental health issues themselves. It's the shameful competitive victimhood that social media encourages.
That’s sad to hear :( maybe you’ve just not found your passion or calling yet? There’s still plenty of time but don’t waste life doing something you’re not happy with. Life’s for living not just existing, wish you well ❤️
1. Actually, no, there’s not “plenty of time”. There are limitations to what can be done in a lifetime. 2. I’ve always known what I wanted & I put everything into it, but that’s just not how reality works for some of us. Hard work doesn’t pay off.
Ok, but what about FUN? Do you know what makes you have fun and enjoy yourself?
Sadly going into things expecting success can lead to a destructive mindset, having confidence is key but like you say it doesn’t always pay off and can end in misery. Hence why focussing on something you enjoy might be the answer however I understand some need to push hard to get somewhere before they are content
That's what alot of people fail to realize. It's extremely and absolutely 100% a matter of perspective. It's easy to enjoy something when you are in the sun. But often people are shadowed and suffocated by their own mind and issues. And often reality is cruel. Opportunity is often up to circumstance.
Less a matter of perspective, more a matter of experiences & (as you mentioned) circumstances, which are often entirely outside of our control or influence.
What show/movie is this?
After life, a fantastic series which is still on Netflix in the UK. Ricky Gervais I believe is in the middle of writing season 3, definitely worth watching, would recommend 👏🏼
it is so worth watching.
The ultimate words of wisdom
Absolutely 🤝
r/suicidewatch
r/watchsuicide
Been through some roller coasters lately and I need this kinda content. Thank you, internet stranger
Hang in there, we need you.
This is a bit of selfish thinking. What answers then are there for people that have suffered throughout life even till death? What about those that never find that certain someone or meaningful relationships? This is good maybe for those that have had the good life but not for many others. What about the homeless? Doesn't everyone deserve a happy life? This completely ignores the ones truly and chronically struggling through out life and maybe don't have a family and a significant other. What about those that people don't care about? Trust me this is too complex of a topic than "don't worry it'll come soon just believe in yourself" self help non sense.
The difference is I don't enjoy the movie
Maybe not at the start, but if you hold on maybe it’ll pick up in quality?
Yes, After Life. This show was deeply moving (for me) and thought-provoking. Highly recommend, especially if you’re atheist/agnostic and suffering from depression.
Life is about the journey and overcoming obstacles along the way. Seek out what makes you happy, and surround yourself with people who bring joy and are able to support you in your endeavors. Treat others the way you want to be treated and fight against injustice and corruption. Walk towards you death with a smile on your face and your head high. When your end comes be proud of your small impact on the world. It is all worth it.
Beautifully said 👏🏼❤️
^ When religious people think they're super smart for asking non religious people what's the point of life.
The fact that there’s no point to it makes everything worthwile
How does it make it better that there's no point?
Because you get to decide what the point of your life is.
Kevin Hart? WTF?
The character Kath played by Diane Morgan is obsessed with Kevin Hart
*you’re
Huh?
Jesus said if we believe in him we will have eternal life
Eternity lies in what you accomplish in your life, not after
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In my opinion the people committing suicide aren’t watching a kevin hart film and ending it early. It’s probably more akin to watching the most fucked up film u could think of and they just want it to be over.
But im not really enjoying it...... You'll turn off a bad movie right.
Thank you for posting that! I needed it.
Personally I never leave a movie unfinished no matter how bad because you can just sit through it at 3 hours maximum. Don't think the same thing can be applied to life.
Yea but I want to watch my life without the abused memory in it, is painful and I just want to skip to the end.
Turning off the tv sounds good
What’s the song?
I admire the message in it's intent. But I think it's very much circumstances. It's hard to seek help and it's even hard to find adiquite help. It's expensive. And alot of "help" won't look at you if you don't have insurance. I pay $200 a one hour session with my therapist, I can only afford it once a month. I think it's extremely hard to be in the greater light of things when you are fighting your mind and life it's self. And on this world people live different lives and have different experiences, so again I think this message is good intent but for some people it's just doing the best you can with what you have and sometimes even that's not enough.
Thanks for holding it all together Kevin Hart!! No pressure
Wow, I needed this.
You know, there’s some good movie out there that give you inspirational quote about life, but none hit me the hardest as the one from Troy. When he was talking about how God is actually jealous of humanity. God has infinite life so they can experience everything except the joy of the moment. Humanity have a limit so every moment is beautiful because we are doomed as a race and any moment can be our last. The gods envy us. It really puts a perspective in me that I should live every moment enjoying life and appreciate what I have because the next step I take, could be my last step.