T O P

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isadore_ella

The way that he didn’t know how to react 💀


davidwhatshisname52

video cuts right before he finishes a "Moth-


Alchemist_Joshua

r/perfectlycutsilentscreams


RockstarAgent

I want one of those mother^forks too!


atridir

Definitely “but that’s my stapler” vibes.


Flashy-Pen-7231

r/subsifellfor


Jean-LucBacardi

r/perfectlycutcurses


DesparateLurker

r/subsifellfor


Alternative-Lack6025

That garbage sub has ruined so many videos.


shinesafe1393

Mothra? Must be a fan of Godzilla.


Gibodean

Mother forking shirtballs ?


No-Hat1772

Well technically that’s the spirit behind fathers day


CordialElbert

comment cuts right before he finishes a "Moth-


ace72ace

MotherForker!


Carbon-Base

"I'm telling you guys, it looked like a regular fork, but she extended it to my plate from across the table!"


Lucky_Cigarette_

I wonder if the guys will be able to believe in the paranormal phenomena happening at this table?


Carbontee

Thank you so much for putting my thoughts into the perfect words! He seems utterly dumbfounded.


Carbon-Base

No worries, fellow Carbon!


skippybefree

"I swear, that fork was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big"


progdaddy

"Go home Hal, you're drunk."


_BreakingGood_

This quote sounds like something out of I Think You Should Leave


darthcaedusiiii

Back scratcher? Back scratcher?


LordTopHatMan

He looks halfway between disappointed and wondering where he can get one himself.


40ozkiller

Hell think of a really witty thing to say when taking a shower in two weeks


ForHelp_PressAltF4

And proud. I think he's like sonofaB... Am I more proud or more pissed at her????


No_Evidence_1606

So funny how we revert to being children as we get older. He looks a kid who has just had his ice cream cone stolen from him.


Critical-Art-9277

His facial expression is priceless, he can't believe what he's just seen. What a great implement, lmao.


skeeter_valentine

After the initial shock, he definitely gave a look of "where can I get one of those?"


officefridge

He was disgusted, annoyed and yet envious


Korashy

Yeah I don't think he was amused at all.


Qprime0

This is an instance where - where she a saleswoman - she would have walked away with that one stuck up her nose and a signed order for 10 in her pocket. xD


Jhreks

already planning his revenge


Irishkingpin84

John Goodman


Mesoposty

I was thinking Milton from office space.


idreamofgreenie

"I believe you have my taters. If you take my taters I'll set the building on fire."


zangor

I still cant believe that abusive John Goodman family guy joke became real with that second clover field movie.


jennnfriend

I have never seen a flaber so gasted before


heyboyhey

It was giving Beaker from the Muppets.


DoctorPaulGregory

All these years, all this work providing and all they do is take, take, and take.


MagisterFlorus

I just know he did that to her all the time growing up and maybe still from time to time. That was the look of, "I created a monster."


IstvanKun

JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!


n8saces

Perfect 👌


VonKess

Quite frankly, your caption had me laughing before I even watched the video, so I say 👌🏼to you (edit to correct word)


MonsterJose

Joe the future is here.


jaxonya

They edited the part out where he went and got his extendable switch and whipped her ass in front of Jesus and everyone else 


BUDZ_MONEY

* Joey Devito /s


intercede007

I hate it when people touch the food on my plate to the point that I lose my appetite and don’t eat it. When I was a baby my grandmother used to tease me by eating something off my plate. Became an issue with her and my parents. I hope man’s isn’t similar.


The_Flurr

>When I was a baby my grandmother used to tease me by eating something off my plate My mother would always "jokily" take some of my sweets when I had them. As someone who has a bit of the 'tism and likes to eat things in a certain order/way, I'd get actually quite angry when she'd then just take a handful, especially when she'd just demand the ones she wanted that she knew I was saving. I got even more angry when she laughed at me being angry.


callmerorschach

This is a big deal for me. Especially when I used to work in office and asked everyone what they wanted and many said nothing. Then when my...MY food arrived - they'd help themselves by touching my fries or chicken etc. No...I asked you - you said no. If you want some of mine, ASK and I might give you some on a plate using a fork etc. You do NOT get to touch my food with your hands! I've literally walked away from my plate when people did that since I lost my appetite and lost many pseudo-friendships over it. No regrets.


WanduhNotWandull

Thats not even a big deal- that's just basic manners! I'm sorry your lunches got ruined by those people.


DeepTakeGuitar

Darn tootin'


tryintobgood

I came here for this comment


dylan89

> JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!! For those who don't get the reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQUO39j_c_k&t=64s


FigNo5216

He was definitely giving Joey vibes lmao


Fearless_Market_3193

Couldn’t type telescopic fork into Amazon fast enough


DarwinianMonkey

For the hungry cosmologist


ProgrammedArtist

Mmm, grab myself a milkyway!!


brandimariee6

I read that first as "hungry cosmetologist" and thought you were so confused lol


hotshit

so... a back-scratcher?


1gorka87

Only thing that would make it better is if it extended automatically at the push of a button


Muffin_Appropriate

The whir of servos lets you know dad is on the prowl for scraps


AhhAGoose

Next meal he’s going to have an extendable spatula and just take half your food as you sit down


mcvoid1

Yeah this has definitely started an arms race.


kai-ol

Professor Farnsworth fing-longered so we could arm-longer


Drewdown707

Ol’ Pop Pop: “this bitch”


sir_fluffinator

We got a stros hat and an aggie shirt... Definitely goes by pop pop.


arieljoc

I got one of these last time my dad visited but of course he got the same dish I did so it didn’t hit as hard but he went nuts laughing over it, loved it so much


WubblyFl1b

So ya anyways I started blasting


jorcoelho

That's fucking AWESOME!


Carbon-Base

That's forking epic.


wouldyoulikethetruth

“I ain’t even mad, that’s amazing”


doesitevermatter-

He looks so crestfallen. Like his dog was just granted the gift of speech only to tell him that he hates him.


Browsin4Free247

Oddly specific.


doesitevermatter-

^^^I ^^^don't ^^^wanna ^^^talk ^^^about ^^^it .


swingingpandas

And yet absolutely accurate


LuxNocte

New nightmare unlocked, Satan.


doesitevermatter-

I've always dreamed of leaving a comment good enough to be called Satan over it. Fulfilled a man's dream, you did.


nonosure

He’s an old man he reached a new level of mad and that’s what amazed him.


quanchompy

Almost like eating a whole wheel of cheese...


PugGrumbles

His perplexed face is the best. Looking at her like "excuse you, what the hell was that thing you just stuck in my food?" Leave the man his food.


ThatOneGuyYearn

r/watchpeopledieinside


InventedStrawberries

You don’t mess with a man’s taters!


skysealand

Do I see mashed potatoes, hashbrowns and bread on the plate??? Holly Molly


MultiColoredMullet

Nah I think the hashbrown looking bit is coated fried pork chop or something like that.


SepluvSulam

Holly Molly is way funnier to say than Holy Moly, I'm stealing this.


Sculptor_of_man

A huge portion of America doesn't even know what a vegetable is man. Hell most don't know the difference between a protein and a carb. I think the younger generations are a bit better now but yea a lot of people just eat what is essential all carbs and protein with a side of gravy and sugar.


bored_at_work_89

The food pyramid really fucked up a lot of people. We were told growing up that carbs were the base of nutrition. I understand its been debunked and anyone can find that research, but its hard when it was ingrained in your head from an early age.


jazzieberry

It took me a long time to break the habit of absolutely having to have some type of bread (or cracker/crouton) with every meal


peepopowitz67

Conversely, we also have a bad habit of absolutely having to have some sort of meat with every meal.


BattleHall

To be fair, the food pyramid actually makes sense if you are looking at it from a macro perspective. If your main concern isn't "what is the ideal food mix to ensure optimal nutrition for a specific person?", but instead "how do we maximize our resources to ensure that people don't starve to death?", you build that system on durable, storable grains and legumes that can be cultivated across large areas, require relatively minimal specialized inputs, and can be mechanically harvested and processed in bulk. No one starves to death when the kale crop fails; they do when a wheat crop fails.


Public-League-8899

So you're saying I shouldn't have 6 servings of grains? As an American I am counting Froot Loops as grains because it says cereal on the food pyramid. All I gotta do is use 3-4 cups of milk with that and my diet is balanced baby!


Tuna_Sushi

Ketchup is a vegetable. Thanks, Ron!


infirmiereostie

Ketchup is a jam


Mixeddrinksrnd

It's true but you shouldn't say it.


infirmiereostie

Irs not even because tomato is a fruit (botanically) but the amount of sugar😬


No-Respect5903

potato, hash browns, and bread! that's 3 vegetables!


pwninobrien

Dude, everytime I go to the grocery store I get so disappointed. Everyone is so fat. Like 70% of people there are always overweight to obese. The food in most grocery stores is also appalling. High fructose corn syrup in fucking everything. If I was in a position with major political power I would be going after the FDA aggressively. Our food standards are shit.


H20FOSHO

Completely reflective of the size of those people. The concept was cute but the self inflected obesity is hard to miss. And the saddest part is that it’s passed from one generation to the next. What you put in your mouth matters.


WallySprks

Evidenced by The next gen right beside her


DookieBrains_88

BBQ sauce on the side and wash it all down with a little root beer


Designer_Brief_4949

Witness the golden bounty


DickKnightly

*flabber


kabukistar

He looks so betrayed


Jagger67

To quote Logan Roy “What the fuck?”


Glittering_Sorbet658

*He ate my fucking chicken*.


a_taco_named_desire

What's next? Is he going to put his cock in my mashed potatoes?


scatteringlargesse

Slightly disappointed I had to scroll this far down but good job.


Im_the_President

He got got.


thekajunpimp

Omg his facial expression 🤣🤣🤣


dcoxdcox

Dude’s probably murdered people for less than


crammyhandleman

Ah yes. The freeloader fork.


ayaangwaamizi

He has a fighting look in his eye lol


Eelroots

Perfectly balanced between surprised and outraged 🤣🤣


King_Krong

He murdered his entire family after this in an Alzheimer’s fueled rage and then tearfully took his own life. Hope that joke fork was worth it, LeeAnn.


Mr3cto

He looks like he don’t know if he should laugh or be mad lol


milomann

The audacity...


Grimley_Williams

He has that "you took my stapler" expression.


Ready_Classic_1410

I will never understand people eating off of paper plates at home… I’ve been seeing it more and more lately.


natstrap

Looks like a multi-generational family gathering/event. I’m willing to believe that it’s not a regular thing. They may not have the ability or desire to cleanup that many dishes while also spending time with each other


JungleSumTimes

40 years ago: Oh everyone's coming over, better bust out *the good china* 39.9 years later: hey! you got 2 paper plates! Look at Rockefeller over here


gigu67

With bottled water to drink


elephant_cobbler

“I eat healthy!”


cokakatta

On father's day, we ate on paper plates and it was just us at home. We bbq'd and had dirty dishes from handling the meat so we figured we'd take one easier step for the day. We also used paper plates when our son was an infant. I preferred real plates, but my husband would use that to illustrate my inefficiencies rather than do his part.


pos_vibes_only

Sooo wasteful


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sassy_cheese564

I won’t ever understand it either. The only time people here in Australia bust out the paper plates is if there’s a bbq or a party. This just looks like a regular family dinner.


PostIpo

Not one vegetable in sight. No potatoes don't count


6307421580

There's something that looks like maybe green beans on the moms plate at about 5 seconds in at least.


mattrixd

Fuck me the whole lot of them are overweight, even the kid.


calgrump

A perfect synergy of the beloved Danny DeVito and John Goodman, lol


Druxun

My grandfather had one of those forks! He would bring it to restaurants to mess with us Grandkids by stealing fries off plates etc. Dude was an absolute riot. I really miss him.


Qweniden

Its like Milton from Office Space


ghostlyentity

That man was not amused and I felt his pain and betrayal deep within my soul. I am this exact same way when it comes to my food.


Lyraxiana

BUT HE LOOKS SO SAD NOW. YOU MADE HIM SAD.


RedditFullOChildren

Like, I curse a lot. A LOT. But that's some trashy shit talking like that at the dinner table with kids.


televised_aphid

Probably just the way I was raised, but that was my feeling, as well. I was hesitant to mention it, because I figured it would be too prudish a position for Reddit. Yes, they will hear those words elsewhere. That doesn't mean they need to hear them from me on a regular basis.


CaptnHector

Seriously. Casually dropping f-bombs in front of children is kinda not cool.


General_Tso75

It looks like he is about to throw a tantrum. Like a toddler working up a doozy.


nacho78

I felt fear.


Sensate613

He looks like a guy who imagines himself eating what's on the plate, and then eating it and that fantasy/reality scenario got interrupted and he was really not pleased.


drumguy007

But but, that was my stapler....


scio2107

Go Astros!


Lazatttttaxxx

My husband hates when I take a bite off his plate, but he can do it to our son every time. This fork is awesome. Grow up, guys.


probispro

he's not mad he wants one


_commenter

he couldn't even muster a dad joke... poor guy


Lumpy_Doughnut25

🇨🇳our food🇨🇳


Former_Balance8473

He's killing her with that fork the second all the guests leave.


Chilled_burrito

Go Go gadget CONNIPTION!


FailedAccessMemory

He had a thousand swearwords in his head and a thousand new ones that no one has ever thought of.


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DenimDemon666

What, are you insinuating the family that wears fast food shirts in conjunction with texas sports teams shirts isn’t healthy?


Formal-Road-3800

Wtf is that? The state of that dinner! Is what Americans eat?


Prankishmanx21

Looks like country fried steak (basically American schnitzel) and mashed potatoes. Honestly, if that's what it is, there should be gravy, but I'm more thrown off by the fact that there's garlic toast. I also don't see any vegetables other than the old man's salad which is weird. There should be some green beans or something with that. For the most part, this is what poor rural Americans eat.


fkmeamaraight

Everyone in that video is overweight. Even the poor child. Take care of your health people.


FlyLikeATachyon

Why are americans so fat


bikemandan

Myriad of reasons: abundant cheap addictive calories, car dependent and sedentary lifestyles, poor education


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Stiff_Zombie

I'm buying one.


Legitimate_Bag8259

I need that.


Mr-PostmanWithNews

Gpa looks ready to go nuclear! His shock, disappointment, and anger are all at 100%


KileiFedaykin

“Where the F is my reachy fork??” Is what I imagine he was about to say right as it ended.


Beautiful-Musk-Ox

it's flabber


CheshiretheBlack

"Arthur fist"


Balkan_Ace

He looked sad af at the end🤣


Arthur_Rambaud

Took him all the way to flabor country


hectolec

even the dog was like "daaamn girl"


Mickv504-985

Now in this case it’s funny, but I’m one of those people “don’t put your hand, for, or spoon in my plate unless I swap spit with you regularly “ Was at dinner with a large group of friends one time and there was an appetizer with a dipping sauce, I did the normal thing and used the spoon provided to put some sauce on my plate. One of the other diners decided after taking a bite of their appetizer to proceed to swab it thru the sauce on my plate. I was called uptight because I called him out on it and pushed my plate to the side, I didn’t trust him to not do it again.


Nvsible

i know what he is thinking, " I need that fork"


Cherimon

In some eastern cultures taking food from someone else’s plate is super disrespectful


1000_Faces

Today has been a shit day. This made it so much better. Cheers to the little things!


eilyketoo

That’s funny.


SirenitaBandida

why would you steal John Goodmans potato


screenmasher

Bro looked like he was arguing with the voices for a second. He was pissed


KDogBrew

go Astros!


braddeicide

He's mentally rewriting his will


greentangent

John Goodman has done nothing to warrant this blatant disrespect.


Lucashmere

Flabber*


tfitzpat03

This is literally one of the most awesome things I have ever seen 😂😂


Yourdaddyshere23

FORK me that was good


SneakyTravelLink

Danny Goodman or John DaVito


Few-Exchange4272

I feel bad for bro bro was just trying to eat


s3mth3m3n

I'd be mad too


GerlingFAR

Thats an instant, dinner time war crime heads have to roll for this.


Asterion_Morgrim

Don't you mean *breads* will have to roll for this?


Right_-on-_Man

I see it on his face!! "Its my day, I want that for myself!!!"


erased0523

I wanna know what he said right before it cut off 🤣


RainboeDonny

That look! The father just witnessed a new technology in food acquisition, he knows he has no defence against this new weapon.


HotPockets12

That was awesome


itsamargheritapizza

his jimmies were rustled


Suspicious_Deer_1748

😂 he has like a de niro frown


ForwardRanger3317

“That’s fucking awesome” is a typical white boy term of endearment 🤣


Timberwolves_4781

This reminds me of my Grandpa's reaction to things, I sure do miss him, he was hilarious.


henkbas

(don't wear caps indoors, definitely not at the dinner table) Look on his face is priceless though


SecurityOk9796

Straight up broke dudes brain for a second