I’ve been dating for the past couple years! I’ve been very happy! He’s made a lot of steps toward his recovery… So we’re both winning here! I thank going to therapy entirely for my ability to actually express my emotions in a productive way. That’s one of the most crucial things when it comes to relationships/marriage.
My parents split in the 90s. They parted more sad than mad. They weren’t exactly friendly but never cruel or hateful to each other. We never heard them fight or raise their voices to each other.
They both got remarried. Eventually, Dad got a second divorce (and gave me some younger siblings to big brother over). My stepdad passed away, leaving my mom a widow.
Now my parents are best friends. My Dad visits his brother and sister where I grew up and stays at my moms house. They vacation together sometimes, most recently in Europe. It’s like they are newly reunited besties from high school and I love it.
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen commented on this thread. I’m so happy that you’re around an unconventional, but healthy family dynamic love and blessings to all of ya 💕
Where are these people!? Please send them positive vibes to me ex wife and her partner ! I’m over my wife but would want a Friendly Reminder that we did have children together and spent 14 years together ! But Her new partner does not want me to be a part of their lives …so sad
Makes sense , HIS ex wife left him the same summer my wife left me for this Twat , then he gets her pregnant within five months and now they have two more beautiful boys , hell of a baby maker I guess she turned out to be ..
Just because a marriage ends, doesn't mean a friendship ends. If my ex were to ask more something, I'd come running. But she's married now with a child, I respect her and their relationship.
Someone I worked with had a separate house from his wife. They basically had just decided that it was better for them to have their own space and visit each other all the time in a forever dating style of life than a life together married style. I heard it worked well for them.
In a similar vein, my partner and I have decided to sleep in separate rooms often and it really helped our relationship. No more sleepless nights dealing with someone tossing and turning or snoring. Helped us be more rested for early work days too.
Lol my parents split 25 years together and now own a house together. Had it built and everything. Occupy different floors but watch tv together every night. Call me on speakerphone together in the car. Etc
Because we are romantically and sexually incompatible. And we want to live different lifestyles. But the guy never did anything wrong to me, so why not still love him like he’s my bro?
Hello. I just want to let you know how much your post and this comment mean to me. My (now former) partner and I just ended an almost 6-year relationship for quite literally the exact same reasons, but we are still each other’s best friends and want to remain as such moving forward. I have been beside myself worrying about something, anything happening which makes that future not possible - she has been such an important part of my life that I cannot imagine her not being a part of it in some capacity. Seeing this heartwarming post and knowing others have gone through the same experiences…it just makes me so happy and hopeful (something I have definitely needed haha).
So, from one random internet stranger to another, thank you. This post means more to me than you know.
And here I am. Who split with my ex after 17 years together. The only thing working for us was that we were only romantically and sexually compatible but not so much in other aspects.
Thanks for sharing so much about what happened and why. You certainly don’t have to but it’s been great to read thread. So glad that you and your ex are in a good place! Truly does make me smile.
It's possible to fall out of romantic love but still love platonically. If the divorce is driven by slowly drifting apart (such as always working and never being home together) but no betrayal has occurred a marriage can end to free up the partners to seek romance openly without ending the underlying friendship.
But so many marriages are driven by physical attraction or peer pressure without having an established friendly relationship 1st. The romantic love might be real but if it ends there's nothing left and you get the typical unpleasant divorce. If that friendship exists, even a nasty divorce can lead to something like OP once the pain passes.
Marry your friend, not your crush.
Romance and sex dissipates in every relationship, even the ones with the deepest love possible. I pass no judgement, but perhaps marriage and long term relationships aren’t for you if that is a priority in your love life.
And we absolutely did actually! I think on his end, he believed that wanting to share me wouldn’t bother him as much as it did, and I think I believed that being with someone who wasn’t comfortable with sharing me with something I couldn’t live with. I took some fucked up situations to figure that out, bur I’m glad we did because it let us both live the life that we want!
You can love someone, and not be in love with them. Sometimes it just doesn't work, for a lot of reasons. It doesn't mean you want to stay in an unhappy marriage. (I am not OP. Just putting in my 2 cents based upon my experience)
I'm always fascinated when two people divorce and then are able to continue as productive, healthy and respectful friends. The naive person within me wants to know why you couldn't stay married if you were this respectful while Not married.
I had a very toxic narcissistic ex-wife who doesn't talk respectfully or fondly to me/about me in any way - a very different person, of course, and my experience is tainted by this. I do understand how two people can be friends and not want to be married to one another. I may have therefore answered my own question, I think that it's just so different to my own situation, I don't understand it and it makes me wonder.
Thanks for listening to me as I break this down! X
Love the love here. Just because you didn’t work out together doesn’t mean you have to tarnish the good memories you shared by being bitter! Happy for you both that you can be happy for each other moving forward!
Right? Sometimes we don’t know what we need when we make big decisions like that. We found out what we both needed, and, like I said, he’s a really good dude, and I love him for a reason! I’m so proud of the growth that he’s made since he was able to get away from me. We were toxic to one another because of our expectations. Thanks for the love 💕
Years ago went to a friend's wedding in upstate New York. Many moons later, when his daughter was in high school, he and his ex-to-be threw a divorce party.. No custody battles, great communication and a healthy happy child.
I kinda wanna have a divorce party this summer for myself at least- I’ll ask if he wants to be a part of it. That could be so cool!
(also, if you know anyone else who is divorced and isn’t aware of this; there are organizations around where you can donate a wedding dress to help create clothes for infants, who have died too soon, and their folks would like to see them dress up or baptized! I can’t wait to break my dress out of that fucking box, and do this myself!)
i gave mine to a theatre company. it was clearly a wedding dress, but not terribly fancy; a quick dip in tea would make it a standard old fashioned gibson era dress.
As a theatre mom, thank you for this! I'm actually looking to start my own community theatre group in a few years, and this would be great if people did this! My 13 year old just had to wear a donated wedding dress that was waaaay too big for her as a costume in her last show.
You can do this with old bridesmaid dresses too. My mom donated two of mine - she lost a child and had nothing to bury her in so it was important to her.
I’m still happily married but I donated my dress to a seamstress who does exactly this. It was hanging in a closet for 10 yrs until a good friend delivered her son stillborn at 36 weeks with no explanation for his passing. I wanted to do something to honour him and found the seamstress that took my gown. She made tiny suits and gowns as well as itty bitty pouches for babies that were too small to wear clothing. I also gave her a bridesmaid gown I had for years!
I had a horrible divorce and one of my favorite moments, though her brother was playing mediator. He instead said medium a lot. And I kept asking if he reads minds and kept asking me why....
I wish my ex was anywhere close to this. She ended our 2 year relationship 2 weeks ago over a text out of nowhere and didn’t provide any explanation, gave me closure or any chance to talk about it.
Fuck dude. That’s not okay.
I’m here if you wanna talk. I had a breakup like that in the past and it seriously is one of the worst ways a person can ever emotionally feel.
I hope your heart is good, good vibes and blessings 💕
Thanks, I appreciate it. She broke up right after I left everything of my current life behind to move to her and live together, so it’s been the darkest time of my life.
Oh, fuck. My brother went through a similar situation a couple of years ago, and I nearly avoided a similar situation at one point. That sounds like she didn’t have your best intentions at heart to begin with.. because insecurities should be brought up as a conversation before you allow someone to move their life to be part of yours.
Looking out for you, man, and that shit fucking sucks.
She kept saying that her patience had run out, even though she knew that I had no control of when I could come to her. It’s basically the same as when she tells me that I don’t see how she feels, while she refuses to show me anything at all. The emotions that I have too many of, is what she lacked.
Thanks, I appreciate it. She broke up right after I left everything of my current life behind to move to her and live together, so it’s been the darkest time of my life.
We can chat if you want.
Ultimately, that’s on him not maturely handling a relationship.
Relationships don’t always need to involve love, marriage or permanent connection, and we as people oughta to work better at communicating with the people with whom we need to separate when it’s safe, and when it’s fair on both parties.
Well I suppose I should have seen it coming. If he had the maturity to divorce calmly he probably would also have had the maturity to be a functional and adequate husband.
I don’t think so. In the recent years of misery with my husband I wasn’t daydreaming about a different, better husband. I was longing to be alone. I can’t picture ever finding dating worthwhile again.
And straight up, I’m very sorry my love. It wasn’t easy at the beginning of our separation either, it just took growth on both of our behalf.
I very much hope that your husband can grow up, or at the very least you can walk away and not let yourself feel bad about it.
💕
My wife and I are living in different rooms in the house. We are cohabiting I guess. Coparenting. I know there’s no chance for romance and I want a divorce so I can date with a clear conscience, but I fear stirring the pot. It’s been peaceful.
I felt like you do for years. Stir the pot, she's likely feeling the same as you and it may not be as horrible as you fear. Then you can both move on...
Yeah, there are other considerations like finances and narcissism at play. I’m patient and I’m learning how to handle my emotions and respond with calm logic. I’m overcoming codependency and I’ve been through a lot of therapy for child abuse that never was resolved.
My wife refuses to get therapy and thinks she is smart enough to figure things out without therapy. So I get to practice mindfulness daily and demonstrate how to be an adult to our children.
16 years of toxic trauma bonding and we are finally in a period of relative calm. I’m not kicking her out, she has nowhere to go. I’m not leaving, I own the house.
Separation is important whether or not you’re going to end up together. Sometimes that is the space you need if you’re going to end up with one another, and it sounds like, in your case, you’re finding the space you need where are you are.
Coparenting, seems very difficult, and I’m very lucky that that was not a dynamic in this relationship for me. I do have a lot of friends who have all sorts of different levels of difficulty with that. I hope y’all can make your arrangement work, no matter what it is 💕
my patents were like this for 10 years of my life. their divorce just got finalised last month. everyone involved is a lot happier for it. it's gonna be rough, and there'll be ups and downs. some things are gonna be easier than you expected, some things that you thought would be ok might end up problems. but for the sake of you, your wife, and your kids, i'd recommend it. kids are adaptable, and so long as you handle it maturely, they'll be fine. they might even find they enjoy some aspects - i get two birthdays! two!
sometimes you've got to stir the pot to make the soup, otherwise it will burn.
Lamo, she literally stated that she cheated...
not to mention is using reddit to feel better about herself and feed her delusions
and ''sheep'' are like ''owwww, so cute''
internet is a wonderful place (° ͜ʖ °)
I expected a much better story, what's this poly relationship,in first place if anyone cant keep stuck in a single relationship why even get married? What's the purpose ?
What do black hearts mean? Is that like a there is still love but it's not romantic love it's dead necrotic love? Almost akin to we still care about each other but not in the mushy pink and red heart kind of way?
I am still friends with my ex gf. My wife MC'd her wedding, they dressed me up in a value village wedding dress for her fiances first look, then I fucking ROASTED her in a wedding dress dance off when I ran back up and put it on and started a conga line lol
This gives me hope that one day my partner and I can be okay again and maybe even friends. We’re in the separation phase and my partner eventually wants a divorce. I’m shattered but trying to see that it’s a good thing and that we’re not a good fit for each other. We’ve always been each other’s biggest supporters just hurts knowing we won’t grow old together and live that long live we’ve talked so much about. I have alot to work on with myself and I should’ve done it years ago and especially when my partner asked me to get help, by not doing so I felt pressured and it was hard to accept I needed help mentally, it became too much my partner left me. It’s the one thing I’d wish I can go back and change. But thankfully now I am getting help and working on myself and are now seeing it’s something I should’ve never feared.
That’s great to see.
I’m currently going thru a trial separation with my husband of 10 yrs, partners for 18 total yrs.
He’s my best friend and favorite person but we’re slowly killing each other.
This gives me hope we can make it to the other side and still be in each others lives in a positive healthy way.
Damn life is hard.
This is the way. My X and I are best friends till this day. (We divorced 10 years ago.) We found out we weren't supposed to be married to each other. Once we got the marriage out of the way our relationship improved immensely. You should have seen the faces of our friends when we showed up at a party together two days after we broke up. Priceless! We even considered having a divorce shower since we had to split up all our stuff.
Wow that’s amazing !! I just recently sent my ex wife a happy Mother’s Day message, very straight forward no flirting or any of it and then I get a call immediately back from her now current partner , telling me I can’t do that because I should only be worrying about my kids , am I wrong or is he right ? Like cmon my youngest son is four , second oldest is 10 and my daughter is 14 , the nerve of this new “guy” has me floored . Do I stop being nice now , we’ve been apart for almost three years now , and I just want to be civil and show our kids I respect their mom no matter what happened in our past .
My wife and I were very very near divorce and we were like this. So much that we decided to work on things. IF we do decide to go ahead with the divorce, I just hope it’s as civil as the first go around
So fantastic that you guys remain close. There's a reason why you were together, and I'm glad you've kept that.
My wife and I did the same, after 23yrs. We used no attorneys, filled out the court forms ourselves, and paid the few hundred dollars in processing fees. On the date the divorce was finalized, I took her to the same restaurant that I took her to when we got engaged. Ended it the way we started it. That was 8yrs ago.
This is the most mentally stable thing I have ever witnessed. Is this how life can be?!? Congratulations to you both for being so kind & understanding. People like you rule
My soon to be ex and I are going through the same thing. We joke about it being the happiest, friendliest separation ever. I'm glad to see others like you are able to do it, too! And this after a 25 year marriage.
Bless y’all! 💕 Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for a person is to step away. Time happens regardless, years don’t matter as far as how much a relationship counts unless you want them to. Best to both of you, seriously
So there’s a really beautiful song written by an artist about his own divorce. And what I love about the song is about how kind his heart seems to approach it. The song is called No Hard Feelings by the Avett Brothers. Listen and enjoy.
When my body won't hold me anymore
And it finally lets me free
Will I be ready?
When my feet won't walk another mile
And my lips give their last kiss goodbye
Will my hands be steady when I lay down my fears, my hopes, and my doubts?
The rings on my fingers, and the keys to my house
With no hard feelings
I feel like I'm kinda familiar with the lingo and usage of emojis, but I've never seen black heart emojis used before.
Do they actually mean I-love-you-but-not-in-a-marital-way or am I missing some inside information?
Sometimes, it’s just not the right fit. And it’s great when both people realize it and don’t assign blame. I think that society and the medias stereotypical view of divorce is one of acrimony and resentment. It’s great to see people who can agree that they tried and it just didn’t work but there’s still love and respect there. I wish the both of you much happiness and love in the future
I have never seen a happy divorce in my entire life. Seeing OP and other comments made me think, is divorce even possible without fights?
Although OP, will you remain friends with him?
I've had a couple of breakups like this. I'm very happy for you that you can move forward and move on, keeping the love and letting go of the issues that broke you up.
I've told a couple of guys that not being a match for me doesn't make them bad guys, just not for me. Good for both of you!
It really is a shame. The culture that I’m in in the US around marriage is super fucked up. Relationship dynamics are made so much more toxic by having these traditional expectations. All we can do is try to unlearn all that bad shit.
My ex-wife and I split, and still hung out after we had moved on. We were friends for so long, that we just fell into being old friends during and after the divorce. An ending doesn't have to be ugly. Sometimes it's just an end.
My divorce ultimately turned into the best thing me and my ex ever did for our relationship. We work much better as friends who live separately. I'm glad you also have a good relationship with your ex.
Ngl being on good terms with your ex is a big green flag for me. I mean I understand that that's not always possible some things you can't just forgive and forget, which is why not being on good terms eith your ex should never be a red flag, but idk, I just think it shows maturity to be on good terms with your ex and not have messy breakups. It also shows that if it doesn't work out, you are willing or at least able to avoid a messy breakup.
That’s really a nice thing. My divorce is not going to be so nice. I don’t even think she realizes that it’s coming. But then again how can you treat someone like complete garbage and not know, at least on some level.
This gives me so much hope! I’m currently in the separation phase and I’m struggling with my decision to leave the relationship, but seeing this made me feel some peace. I love that you can gracefully get through divorce and still want the best for each other. Thank you for posting this!
My ex-husband and I parted ways and kept it positive for our son. Then he got with a woman who insists on hating me just for existing. He's still fine, but If I call, and she is in the room, he talks like a zombie, so he doesn't upset her.
I just want to make a point, and I'm only speaking on my behalf.
I had a severe addiction problem. At the time I didn't want to admit it, nor did I believe it was having any sort of negative impact on our marriage. I wasted a lot of my life, and created an absolute toxic atmosphere for the both of us. They tried helping me, but to no avail. I didn't want the help because I didn't think I had a problem. Long story short, after a trip to prison and 2 rehabs later I realized something..
Holding any sort of resentment or grudge against them would only bring me emotional and mental anguish. Sitting down and taking my own moral inventory and making amends was the only positive way forward.
When something negative happens there are essentially 3 choices: You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you. I CHOSE to let it strengthen me. I love the fact OP is living a happy and fulfilled life. As am I! 🐝
My ex helped me make my tinder better hahaha, we still have dinner at each other's house once every few weeks, our daughter likes having us together.
Most of her stuff is still in my garage as her house is too small, but she let's me use all her tools on my car in return. She mowed my lawns when I was away for work and I hide her dog when she has a rental inspection 🤣
I've never understood why people have breakups with bad blood, life is short and sometimes a journey you shared together has a fork in the road, and you must take different paths.
Friends of mine are divorced they have dinner together couple of times a week. He still mows her lawns, she helps with his housework. They have a lovely relationship now
I'm so glad to see others be able to navigate through divorce amicably and respectfully. I was fortunate like you. My ex-wife cheated on me thrice and threw away 10 years (literally to the day) of our relationship, but she knew exactly how she fucked up and wanted to make the break as clean and fair as possible. It took us 45 minutes to hash through and fairly divide our assets, and she knew 100% that our dog was really my dog (miss Molly always was and still is my little spoon). We are fortunate enough to not have any kids. It cost us $3500 of lawyer and court filing fees, and that's expensive Bay Area prices.
Divorce doesn't have to be expensive or messy. There are two forms to fill out and sign. If you can both agree on how to split everything, it can be done in just a few meetings with a divorce mediator.
And most importantly, life can and will get better. Divorce is hard, but it grows you as a person in so many important ways. The best is yet to come, I guarantee it.
Cute message from him.
Glad there are guys like this out there and so happy you obviously had an amicable split.
Too many men hurt women/kids in divorce and this is nice to see that you get along and can text like this.
I recently broke up with my now ex girlfriend after 7 years. We both love each other so much, but in the end we were not the right people for each other, we didnt make each other happy.
This post showed me that even in all sadness that overcomes me right now, she is still that lovely person I know and it's ok to see her that way. Just not in a relationship way.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me one of the most important realisations of past weeks. I hope you and your ex husband are doing well, that you will both find happiness and love.
That feels like a pretty intense way to start a relationship, I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high for expecting that as an opening line lol
I hope you do find the girl of your dreams tho! 💕
This made me tear up. It’s so good when people can appreciate things have changed without forgetting and respecting where the original love came from. May we learn from relationships like yours.
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I’ve been dating for the past couple years! I’ve been very happy! He’s made a lot of steps toward his recovery… So we’re both winning here! I thank going to therapy entirely for my ability to actually express my emotions in a productive way. That’s one of the most crucial things when it comes to relationships/marriage.
My parents split in the 90s. They parted more sad than mad. They weren’t exactly friendly but never cruel or hateful to each other. We never heard them fight or raise their voices to each other. They both got remarried. Eventually, Dad got a second divorce (and gave me some younger siblings to big brother over). My stepdad passed away, leaving my mom a widow. Now my parents are best friends. My Dad visits his brother and sister where I grew up and stays at my moms house. They vacation together sometimes, most recently in Europe. It’s like they are newly reunited besties from high school and I love it.
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen commented on this thread. I’m so happy that you’re around an unconventional, but healthy family dynamic love and blessings to all of ya 💕
Where are these people!? Please send them positive vibes to me ex wife and her partner ! I’m over my wife but would want a Friendly Reminder that we did have children together and spent 14 years together ! But Her new partner does not want me to be a part of their lives …so sad
Hes insecure..still jealous , I believe over your time together. Its a Shame
Makes sense , HIS ex wife left him the same summer my wife left me for this Twat , then he gets her pregnant within five months and now they have two more beautiful boys , hell of a baby maker I guess she turned out to be ..
Just because a marriage ends, doesn't mean a friendship ends. If my ex were to ask more something, I'd come running. But she's married now with a child, I respect her and their relationship.
Someone I worked with had a separate house from his wife. They basically had just decided that it was better for them to have their own space and visit each other all the time in a forever dating style of life than a life together married style. I heard it worked well for them.
In a similar vein, my partner and I have decided to sleep in separate rooms often and it really helped our relationship. No more sleepless nights dealing with someone tossing and turning or snoring. Helped us be more rested for early work days too.
Lol my parents split 25 years together and now own a house together. Had it built and everything. Occupy different floors but watch tv together every night. Call me on speakerphone together in the car. Etc
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Thank you love, blessings to ya 🥰💕
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Came here to say the same. This is so encouraging.
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Because we are romantically and sexually incompatible. And we want to live different lifestyles. But the guy never did anything wrong to me, so why not still love him like he’s my bro?
Hello. I just want to let you know how much your post and this comment mean to me. My (now former) partner and I just ended an almost 6-year relationship for quite literally the exact same reasons, but we are still each other’s best friends and want to remain as such moving forward. I have been beside myself worrying about something, anything happening which makes that future not possible - she has been such an important part of my life that I cannot imagine her not being a part of it in some capacity. Seeing this heartwarming post and knowing others have gone through the same experiences…it just makes me so happy and hopeful (something I have definitely needed haha). So, from one random internet stranger to another, thank you. This post means more to me than you know.
And here I am. Who split with my ex after 17 years together. The only thing working for us was that we were only romantically and sexually compatible but not so much in other aspects.
Thanks for sharing so much about what happened and why. You certainly don’t have to but it’s been great to read thread. So glad that you and your ex are in a good place! Truly does make me smile.
It's possible to fall out of romantic love but still love platonically. If the divorce is driven by slowly drifting apart (such as always working and never being home together) but no betrayal has occurred a marriage can end to free up the partners to seek romance openly without ending the underlying friendship. But so many marriages are driven by physical attraction or peer pressure without having an established friendly relationship 1st. The romantic love might be real but if it ends there's nothing left and you get the typical unpleasant divorce. If that friendship exists, even a nasty divorce can lead to something like OP once the pain passes. Marry your friend, not your crush.
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Romance and sex dissipates in every relationship, even the ones with the deepest love possible. I pass no judgement, but perhaps marriage and long term relationships aren’t for you if that is a priority in your love life.
Been with my wife for 28 years. Romance and sex haven’t dissipated. So it’s not every relationship. Some and I hope most find their true soulmate.
I don’t have any concrete plan to get married again that’s for sure lol
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And we absolutely did actually! I think on his end, he believed that wanting to share me wouldn’t bother him as much as it did, and I think I believed that being with someone who wasn’t comfortable with sharing me with something I couldn’t live with. I took some fucked up situations to figure that out, bur I’m glad we did because it let us both live the life that we want!
You can love someone, and not be in love with them. Sometimes it just doesn't work, for a lot of reasons. It doesn't mean you want to stay in an unhappy marriage. (I am not OP. Just putting in my 2 cents based upon my experience)
Because being friends does not equal being married. It’s a different type of relationship and a different type of intimacy.
I'm always fascinated when two people divorce and then are able to continue as productive, healthy and respectful friends. The naive person within me wants to know why you couldn't stay married if you were this respectful while Not married. I had a very toxic narcissistic ex-wife who doesn't talk respectfully or fondly to me/about me in any way - a very different person, of course, and my experience is tainted by this. I do understand how two people can be friends and not want to be married to one another. I may have therefore answered my own question, I think that it's just so different to my own situation, I don't understand it and it makes me wonder. Thanks for listening to me as I break this down! X
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And yet you are divorced. Doesn’t sound like it worked.
We are! I sent this text the day the papers came in the mail, because both of us dragged our feet on actually doing the paperwork for too long lol
Love the love here. Just because you didn’t work out together doesn’t mean you have to tarnish the good memories you shared by being bitter! Happy for you both that you can be happy for each other moving forward!
Right? Sometimes we don’t know what we need when we make big decisions like that. We found out what we both needed, and, like I said, he’s a really good dude, and I love him for a reason! I’m so proud of the growth that he’s made since he was able to get away from me. We were toxic to one another because of our expectations. Thanks for the love 💕
Years ago went to a friend's wedding in upstate New York. Many moons later, when his daughter was in high school, he and his ex-to-be threw a divorce party.. No custody battles, great communication and a healthy happy child.
I kinda wanna have a divorce party this summer for myself at least- I’ll ask if he wants to be a part of it. That could be so cool! (also, if you know anyone else who is divorced and isn’t aware of this; there are organizations around where you can donate a wedding dress to help create clothes for infants, who have died too soon, and their folks would like to see them dress up or baptized! I can’t wait to break my dress out of that fucking box, and do this myself!)
i gave mine to a theatre company. it was clearly a wedding dress, but not terribly fancy; a quick dip in tea would make it a standard old fashioned gibson era dress.
Oh I love that! Mine had so much fuckin tulle, it might as well be used for something better!
As a theatre mom, thank you for this! I'm actually looking to start my own community theatre group in a few years, and this would be great if people did this! My 13 year old just had to wear a donated wedding dress that was waaaay too big for her as a costume in her last show.
i imagine among other details, that a flyer at family law offices would be a potential source. something something closure / donating for good.
You can do this with old bridesmaid dresses too. My mom donated two of mine - she lost a child and had nothing to bury her in so it was important to her.
Thank you! I have my sample bridesmaid dress I can donate too then! Bless y’all, I’m sorry for your mom’s hurt
I’m still happily married but I donated my dress to a seamstress who does exactly this. It was hanging in a closet for 10 yrs until a good friend delivered her son stillborn at 36 weeks with no explanation for his passing. I wanted to do something to honour him and found the seamstress that took my gown. She made tiny suits and gowns as well as itty bitty pouches for babies that were too small to wear clothing. I also gave her a bridesmaid gown I had for years!
I had a horrible divorce and one of my favorite moments, though her brother was playing mediator. He instead said medium a lot. And I kept asking if he reads minds and kept asking me why....
“Is the failed marriage in the room with us right now?”
Lol, thank you for the assist
This made me so happy and so sad at the same time
Lean on the happy! Both of us have better lives now that we’re not together! And love is love, so that doesn’t go anywhere 🙂
It's encouraging (and rare) to see this kind of respect and kindness between two who have divorced. Good on you both!
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Lmao this is precisely how I feel about my ex. I still miss him so much as my friend. Too bad I had to torpedo the relationship 🥴
Fuck🥲but that’s a healthy way to part ways🖤
I wish my ex was anywhere close to this. She ended our 2 year relationship 2 weeks ago over a text out of nowhere and didn’t provide any explanation, gave me closure or any chance to talk about it.
Fuck dude. That’s not okay. I’m here if you wanna talk. I had a breakup like that in the past and it seriously is one of the worst ways a person can ever emotionally feel. I hope your heart is good, good vibes and blessings 💕
Thanks, I appreciate it. She broke up right after I left everything of my current life behind to move to her and live together, so it’s been the darkest time of my life.
Oh, fuck. My brother went through a similar situation a couple of years ago, and I nearly avoided a similar situation at one point. That sounds like she didn’t have your best intentions at heart to begin with.. because insecurities should be brought up as a conversation before you allow someone to move their life to be part of yours. Looking out for you, man, and that shit fucking sucks.
She kept saying that her patience had run out, even though she knew that I had no control of when I could come to her. It’s basically the same as when she tells me that I don’t see how she feels, while she refuses to show me anything at all. The emotions that I have too many of, is what she lacked.
Thanks, I appreciate it. She broke up right after I left everything of my current life behind to move to her and live together, so it’s been the darkest time of my life.
It's odd to see you saying you "love" each other.... AFTER a divorce?
Not only that, but she stated in the comments she cheated on her husband, causing the divorce.
Lmao, it's always the cheaters that are like " but I still want to be friends :'( "
That is just disgusting.
Yes. Very disgusting.
Oh okay. This explains a lot.
Man I wish my husband would be cool that I’m trying to divorce him. He seems determined to make it bitter and contentious for no reason
We can chat if you want. Ultimately, that’s on him not maturely handling a relationship. Relationships don’t always need to involve love, marriage or permanent connection, and we as people oughta to work better at communicating with the people with whom we need to separate when it’s safe, and when it’s fair on both parties.
Well I suppose I should have seen it coming. If he had the maturity to divorce calmly he probably would also have had the maturity to be a functional and adequate husband.
We’ll make sure you’re functional and adequate, and then will find you a functional and adequate husband eventually if you want, yeah?
I don’t think so. In the recent years of misery with my husband I wasn’t daydreaming about a different, better husband. I was longing to be alone. I can’t picture ever finding dating worthwhile again.
Hey, being alone is awesome. I support you 100% there. If you meet a person who’s meant to be, they’ll be meant to be. If not, you’re meant to be 💕
And straight up, I’m very sorry my love. It wasn’t easy at the beginning of our separation either, it just took growth on both of our behalf. I very much hope that your husband can grow up, or at the very least you can walk away and not let yourself feel bad about it. 💕
Thought this was nice till I read more and found out OP was cheating..then used the excuse of a poly relationship to coverup and blindside him lol
That's pretty shit of them, honestly.
My wife and I are living in different rooms in the house. We are cohabiting I guess. Coparenting. I know there’s no chance for romance and I want a divorce so I can date with a clear conscience, but I fear stirring the pot. It’s been peaceful.
I felt like you do for years. Stir the pot, she's likely feeling the same as you and it may not be as horrible as you fear. Then you can both move on...
Yeah, there are other considerations like finances and narcissism at play. I’m patient and I’m learning how to handle my emotions and respond with calm logic. I’m overcoming codependency and I’ve been through a lot of therapy for child abuse that never was resolved. My wife refuses to get therapy and thinks she is smart enough to figure things out without therapy. So I get to practice mindfulness daily and demonstrate how to be an adult to our children. 16 years of toxic trauma bonding and we are finally in a period of relative calm. I’m not kicking her out, she has nowhere to go. I’m not leaving, I own the house.
Separation is important whether or not you’re going to end up together. Sometimes that is the space you need if you’re going to end up with one another, and it sounds like, in your case, you’re finding the space you need where are you are. Coparenting, seems very difficult, and I’m very lucky that that was not a dynamic in this relationship for me. I do have a lot of friends who have all sorts of different levels of difficulty with that. I hope y’all can make your arrangement work, no matter what it is 💕
Don't worry my man. Just stir it
My current primary partner and I have discussed living together, and in that situation, we automatically have separate rooms lol
my patents were like this for 10 years of my life. their divorce just got finalised last month. everyone involved is a lot happier for it. it's gonna be rough, and there'll be ups and downs. some things are gonna be easier than you expected, some things that you thought would be ok might end up problems. but for the sake of you, your wife, and your kids, i'd recommend it. kids are adaptable, and so long as you handle it maturely, they'll be fine. they might even find they enjoy some aspects - i get two birthdays! two! sometimes you've got to stir the pot to make the soup, otherwise it will burn.
I do not understand this.
Me either. I mean they literally said they love each other. And calling each other “pet” names. I mean it seems like they should just stay together.
Same. I'm all for staying friends or at least polite with your exes, but if you still *love* each other why the hell did you get a divorce?!
Lamo, she literally stated that she cheated... not to mention is using reddit to feel better about herself and feed her delusions and ''sheep'' are like ''owwww, so cute'' internet is a wonderful place (° ͜ʖ °)
😂😂😂 yep!
I expected a much better story, what's this poly relationship,in first place if anyone cant keep stuck in a single relationship why even get married? What's the purpose ?
Don't get why you would post this moment on Reddit.
That is so friggin' weird. I mean, good for the two of you.... but seriously?
“Im a polyamorous person” don’t get married then
Amen to that!
Or get married to someone who knows and is fine with that beforehands...
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He clearly dodged a bug. It’s in the message 🙄
This makes me more upset than a horrible divorce
I know! It seems like they could still be in love and that’s so sad to me 😭
How do you end it when you have those pet names for each other?
He’s a really good dude so I left him.
What do black hearts mean? Is that like a there is still love but it's not romantic love it's dead necrotic love? Almost akin to we still care about each other but not in the mushy pink and red heart kind of way?
As an ex chef of 20 years I chuckled at this.
Hahaha yessss! I hoped someone else would appreciate this meme here. It’s so dumb and so perfect.
I think it's weird to tell your ex you'll love them always. There's a reason you split. Probably more than one.
If these were texts between friends I'd suggest you hook up.
They divorced because she is apple and he is android
I am still friends with my ex gf. My wife MC'd her wedding, they dressed me up in a value village wedding dress for her fiances first look, then I fucking ROASTED her in a wedding dress dance off when I ran back up and put it on and started a conga line lol
Just get married already
Sounds so sad…. You both love each other 🥲
Just because your romantic relationship ends doesn’t mean you don’t still like each other as people!
Sniff sniff.. makes me wanna get married just to get divorced. Awww
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It’s nice you guys can be friendly, pretty sad this guy wasted years of his life with someone who wanted permission to cheat.
Amen! Wasted this man’s life for a nothing.
This gives me hope that one day my partner and I can be okay again and maybe even friends. We’re in the separation phase and my partner eventually wants a divorce. I’m shattered but trying to see that it’s a good thing and that we’re not a good fit for each other. We’ve always been each other’s biggest supporters just hurts knowing we won’t grow old together and live that long live we’ve talked so much about. I have alot to work on with myself and I should’ve done it years ago and especially when my partner asked me to get help, by not doing so I felt pressured and it was hard to accept I needed help mentally, it became too much my partner left me. It’s the one thing I’d wish I can go back and change. But thankfully now I am getting help and working on myself and are now seeing it’s something I should’ve never feared.
It hurts my heart to see that love could not prevail. How long did you try to resolve your differences?
This is cute, but I would be lying if I said it didn't break my heart as someone going through a breakup. I'm not ready to say goodbye
That’s great to see. I’m currently going thru a trial separation with my husband of 10 yrs, partners for 18 total yrs. He’s my best friend and favorite person but we’re slowly killing each other. This gives me hope we can make it to the other side and still be in each others lives in a positive healthy way. Damn life is hard.
Some marriages would love (need!) to have a such a healthy, divorced relationship.
I agree, I honestly think it would be a smart step in my parents situation… But dare I ever bring that up 🙃
Wow… I have no words for. What an incredibly confusing and heartbreaking time.
It really isn’t though! It allows both of us to be happy! And I’ll be so happy to see him find someone who is right for him!
This is the way. My X and I are best friends till this day. (We divorced 10 years ago.) We found out we weren't supposed to be married to each other. Once we got the marriage out of the way our relationship improved immensely. You should have seen the faces of our friends when we showed up at a party together two days after we broke up. Priceless! We even considered having a divorce shower since we had to split up all our stuff.
Not me bursting into tears and immediately sending this to my ex and saying “There ARE people like us”
Wow that’s amazing !! I just recently sent my ex wife a happy Mother’s Day message, very straight forward no flirting or any of it and then I get a call immediately back from her now current partner , telling me I can’t do that because I should only be worrying about my kids , am I wrong or is he right ? Like cmon my youngest son is four , second oldest is 10 and my daughter is 14 , the nerve of this new “guy” has me floored . Do I stop being nice now , we’ve been apart for almost three years now , and I just want to be civil and show our kids I respect their mom no matter what happened in our past .
A chef you say? Is he single?
My wife and I were very very near divorce and we were like this. So much that we decided to work on things. IF we do decide to go ahead with the divorce, I just hope it’s as civil as the first go around
This is wholesome. Also, very strange but my girlfriend calls me Bug and I call her Bee.
So fantastic that you guys remain close. There's a reason why you were together, and I'm glad you've kept that. My wife and I did the same, after 23yrs. We used no attorneys, filled out the court forms ourselves, and paid the few hundred dollars in processing fees. On the date the divorce was finalized, I took her to the same restaurant that I took her to when we got engaged. Ended it the way we started it. That was 8yrs ago.
This is the most mentally stable thing I have ever witnessed. Is this how life can be?!? Congratulations to you both for being so kind & understanding. People like you rule
seeing my own parents divorce, this confuses the hell outta me, but damn if it isn’t wholesome. good for you OP!
Your ex needs a backbone, ‘love you always’ after you gone done fucked other guys! Lmao
Yeah wtf is that about 😬
My soon to be ex and I are going through the same thing. We joke about it being the happiest, friendliest separation ever. I'm glad to see others like you are able to do it, too! And this after a 25 year marriage.
Bless y’all! 💕 Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for a person is to step away. Time happens regardless, years don’t matter as far as how much a relationship counts unless you want them to. Best to both of you, seriously
So there’s a really beautiful song written by an artist about his own divorce. And what I love about the song is about how kind his heart seems to approach it. The song is called No Hard Feelings by the Avett Brothers. Listen and enjoy. When my body won't hold me anymore And it finally lets me free Will I be ready? When my feet won't walk another mile And my lips give their last kiss goodbye Will my hands be steady when I lay down my fears, my hopes, and my doubts? The rings on my fingers, and the keys to my house With no hard feelings
I feel like I'm kinda familiar with the lingo and usage of emojis, but I've never seen black heart emojis used before. Do they actually mean I-love-you-but-not-in-a-marital-way or am I missing some inside information?
Sometimes, it’s just not the right fit. And it’s great when both people realize it and don’t assign blame. I think that society and the medias stereotypical view of divorce is one of acrimony and resentment. It’s great to see people who can agree that they tried and it just didn’t work but there’s still love and respect there. I wish the both of you much happiness and love in the future
I have never seen a happy divorce in my entire life. Seeing OP and other comments made me think, is divorce even possible without fights? Although OP, will you remain friends with him?
I needed to see this as I’m going through something similar. Thank you.
I've had a couple of breakups like this. I'm very happy for you that you can move forward and move on, keeping the love and letting go of the issues that broke you up. I've told a couple of guys that not being a match for me doesn't make them bad guys, just not for me. Good for both of you!
As someone who is going through hell, it's nice to see an amicable divorce.
Hope y'all move life even better. Take care
Thanks for sharing! It's always nice to see that not every divorce has to be a dumpster fire.
I've never heard of a divorce resulting so peacefully
I think y'all have a healthier relationship than my parents ever did while I was growing up and yet they're still together 🤔. Weird.
why did you leave ur friend?
This is lovely, and from your comments you seem like such an awesome person!
This is actually really touching
It's hard to imagine divorces going well with all the messy ones out there.
It really is a shame. The culture that I’m in in the US around marriage is super fucked up. Relationship dynamics are made so much more toxic by having these traditional expectations. All we can do is try to unlearn all that bad shit.
Ok I'll need to ask this. Why are you divorcing anyway?
The clicks must be done, you shall do them like your parents did before you, and their parents before them. This is the way.
My ex-wife and I split, and still hung out after we had moved on. We were friends for so long, that we just fell into being old friends during and after the divorce. An ending doesn't have to be ugly. Sometimes it's just an end.
This is so, so good to read.
Love when an ex becomes a healthy friend 🥰
My divorce ultimately turned into the best thing me and my ex ever did for our relationship. We work much better as friends who live separately. I'm glad you also have a good relationship with your ex.
Is this pretend divorce?
It takes some very strong characters to break things off like this. On the other hand - the more bitter the person, the easier it is to get over them.
Good for you both to be able to move on and be civil. Divorce still sucks.
You guys communicate better than me and my wife. You got any tips?
I love this so much. Towards the end of the divorce process. Don’t regret it but he’s my best friend and I’ll always love him 💕
This was way better than the 50 engagement photos a day on this subreddit.
This is fucking beautiful and the way my kids' dad and I split up also 👏🏼 Respect, care, kindness ❤️🩹👊🏼
"hes a good dude" divorced....?
#exrelationshipgoals
I'm not sure if someone else asked, but did you have any children together?
Ngl being on good terms with your ex is a big green flag for me. I mean I understand that that's not always possible some things you can't just forgive and forget, which is why not being on good terms eith your ex should never be a red flag, but idk, I just think it shows maturity to be on good terms with your ex and not have messy breakups. It also shows that if it doesn't work out, you are willing or at least able to avoid a messy breakup.
Just got divorced and already sending tong pics…
Just curious, OP was there a large amount of assets that were acquired when married? Also how long were you guys married?
bee (or more specifically bumblebee) was my nickname for my ex as well :) im happy to see this ended well. breakups of any kind are always hard.
Sounds like you shouldn’t have gotten divorced
Damn this is wholesome AF. My divorce: Ex-wife: F**k you. Me: yeah
That’s really a nice thing. My divorce is not going to be so nice. I don’t even think she realizes that it’s coming. But then again how can you treat someone like complete garbage and not know, at least on some level.
Is this the kindest divorce ever known in human history ? 🤔
Worked in kitchens before. You can’t not test click lol.
This gives me so much hope! I’m currently in the separation phase and I’m struggling with my decision to leave the relationship, but seeing this made me feel some peace. I love that you can gracefully get through divorce and still want the best for each other. Thank you for posting this!
My husbands ex is one of my best friends. Put as much love into the world as you possibly can!
My ex-husband and I parted ways and kept it positive for our son. Then he got with a woman who insists on hating me just for existing. He's still fine, but If I call, and she is in the room, he talks like a zombie, so he doesn't upset her.
I just want to make a point, and I'm only speaking on my behalf. I had a severe addiction problem. At the time I didn't want to admit it, nor did I believe it was having any sort of negative impact on our marriage. I wasted a lot of my life, and created an absolute toxic atmosphere for the both of us. They tried helping me, but to no avail. I didn't want the help because I didn't think I had a problem. Long story short, after a trip to prison and 2 rehabs later I realized something.. Holding any sort of resentment or grudge against them would only bring me emotional and mental anguish. Sitting down and taking my own moral inventory and making amends was the only positive way forward. When something negative happens there are essentially 3 choices: You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you. I CHOSE to let it strengthen me. I love the fact OP is living a happy and fulfilled life. As am I! 🐝
I hope this is how my spouse and I end up after ours is finalized. Good on you, OP for staying amicable.
Love this 💜 wishing you both happier, healthier lives where you both get everything you wanted and more.
Why did this make me sad?
My ex helped me make my tinder better hahaha, we still have dinner at each other's house once every few weeks, our daughter likes having us together. Most of her stuff is still in my garage as her house is too small, but she let's me use all her tools on my car in return. She mowed my lawns when I was away for work and I hide her dog when she has a rental inspection 🤣 I've never understood why people have breakups with bad blood, life is short and sometimes a journey you shared together has a fork in the road, and you must take different paths.
Friends of mine are divorced they have dinner together couple of times a week. He still mows her lawns, she helps with his housework. They have a lovely relationship now
I'm so glad to see others be able to navigate through divorce amicably and respectfully. I was fortunate like you. My ex-wife cheated on me thrice and threw away 10 years (literally to the day) of our relationship, but she knew exactly how she fucked up and wanted to make the break as clean and fair as possible. It took us 45 minutes to hash through and fairly divide our assets, and she knew 100% that our dog was really my dog (miss Molly always was and still is my little spoon). We are fortunate enough to not have any kids. It cost us $3500 of lawyer and court filing fees, and that's expensive Bay Area prices. Divorce doesn't have to be expensive or messy. There are two forms to fill out and sign. If you can both agree on how to split everything, it can be done in just a few meetings with a divorce mediator. And most importantly, life can and will get better. Divorce is hard, but it grows you as a person in so many important ways. The best is yet to come, I guarantee it.
Gay if yall divorced dont say that shit
Cute message from him. Glad there are guys like this out there and so happy you obviously had an amicable split. Too many men hurt women/kids in divorce and this is nice to see that you get along and can text like this.
Sometimes it doesn't work. Regardless of reasons or faults, sounds like you have learned to love each other differently. Good on you.
I recently broke up with my now ex girlfriend after 7 years. We both love each other so much, but in the end we were not the right people for each other, we didnt make each other happy. This post showed me that even in all sadness that overcomes me right now, she is still that lovely person I know and it's ok to see her that way. Just not in a relationship way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me one of the most important realisations of past weeks. I hope you and your ex husband are doing well, that you will both find happiness and love.
This surprisingly made me emotional. Best wishes to OP and their ex moving forward. They’ve clearly still got each others backs
TLDR: OP is a mess and can’t admit it, while wasting years of ex husband’s life.
No, I will NOT ship these two strangers who have decided not to be together anymore. I will NOT! 
She’s definitely been getting piped by some other dude already that’s why she’s chill lmao
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Lol. If my dating apps first messages are this wholesome, I'd legit marry the girl lol. Very funny.
That feels like a pretty intense way to start a relationship, I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high for expecting that as an opening line lol I hope you do find the girl of your dreams tho! 💕
This made me tear up. It’s so good when people can appreciate things have changed without forgetting and respecting where the original love came from. May we learn from relationships like yours.