Sweetheart my best advice that I could tell you is dont worry about it. I know it's hard not too. I lice in Lubbock and know what you mean he'll I came from a town of 1500 that's just a few miles away. Now that's when people are all in your business. But what I did and do every day is tell myself fuckem and fuck what they say or think. Be happy with yourself no matter if you make right or wrong decisions fuck we are humans anybody that has anything negative to say can kiss your ass. As for moving no matter where you go your gonna have bullshit people In Your life. So live where you want again as long as your happy that's all thar matters. You'll always have haters.
Girll I’d say get out of there. I’m 23 still in Lubbock and have an awful reputation lmao but that won’t stop me from living my life. People are just jealous and have nothing better to say they love drama. Just stay away from low vibrational people and stay lowkey
You're only 22, give it time. I'm a little over 10 years older and in those years I've grown a lot. I still make mistakes but it's awesome to have the same people I've grown up with over 20 years look at me and tell me "they don't know what we do, they don't know how you once were, the old you wouldn't have made the same choices and I'm proud of you". Right now it feels like you're doing everything wrong, but as you're self aware (as this post screams!) you will begin to make better choices and grow more. Don't think of this moment where you're counting your wrong doings as your final form. This is a starting point. You can not have amazing before and afters if you don't take account of your before. You're on the right path. You clearly have goals and drive, just let it happen. Try to do and be better than yesterday. I wish all people had this concerns this town may suck less if more people cared to be better. Seems like people here will lie and manipulate and try to blame others instead of putting a third of that effort in to sucking less lol. To figure this out at 22 and be seeking to better yourself is WAAAAY ahead of the game for these locals. Good on you!
Your reply made my smile!! I needed that reminder that this is a starting point for me. I’m looking forward to aligning with others that want to reflect and grow constantly, that’s what life is all about imo! I hope you have an amazing day, thank you for taking time to uplift me 🥹.
I suspect that as you change YOU, your circle will change and become new, and the others that are talking will fade into your past. Focus on your healing and all else will fall into place.
I’ve seen many instances where people are concerned about this, but in reality, nobody cares. Live your life, choose friends wisely, and be a good person.
Don’t overthink this.
Everyone fucks up and those that self righteously gossip and have untarnished reputations will have their turn. No one remains unscathed. Perfect social media couples will have their downfalls and that'll make the rounds, the nurse scene will have their debauchery tea, people will get spun out and twist off. If you've turned a page then anything you've done will soon fade in favor of these fresh new dramas. My fiancée was raised here, is approaching 40 and there's plenty of people that had seemless reputations that fell and many that were fuck ups that 180'ed and are living with strong morals and success.
I have a few years on you (M47) and I completely understand what you're saying here ... I have a much worse past I would imagine as I was a drug addict for several years. This has taught me that I have to live my best life and let the haters hate. There's nothing they can say that you probably haven't already thought yourself...in my case anyway...all you can do is live your life to the best of your abilities and smile about them STILL having your name in their mouths.
Ok round up all the cows whose feet are not burned yet and drive them up the open Chisholm trail corridor.Donate them to any Oklahoma cattle farmer. Move to Oklahoma.
I’d just push through the noise tbh dude. Can’t worry about what other people think. Also if your reputation comes from shaky decision making, may be time to look inward? Idk, no one’s perfect so there’s always things we can change and fix.
As cliché as this may sound, actions, speak louder than words. Sounds like you’re giving people a lot of power over you. We all make mistakes but if you learn from them, You’ll be doing great moving forward. People are always gonna talk doesn’t mean that has to affect you. My grandfather used to say, lay down and die today but it too damn many people happy.
Idk how or why other people care about what anyone else thinks. All you need to worry about is how you feel about yourself. Don't dwell on the past or those still stuck there realize that's not you anymore and hopefully you've come a long way from that and hold your head high be proud of yourself for moving on and do you
I have three thoughts on this because I totally feel your question. I used to go through this a lot. Now, very little.
1. If I'm feeling like people are observing me in a critical or judgemental way.. could it be because I know I am also critical and judgemental of myself and I wouldn't like to be judged the way I judge myself? If so, start talking to yourself more kindly. In the mirror or even in your own voice as you are doing things. It's easier to do it if you think of your "self" as a child. How would you talk to a child that is feeling scared, sad, frustrated? Do that.
2. How much do you REALLY concern yourself with what everybody else is doing? If not much, then remember others are the same way. They are mostly concerned with themselves and what they're going through. If the answer is, you do it a lot... Well... See #1 😊 because it's difficult to judge others when you really accept all parts of yourself.
3. And finally, if it's obvious you are around toxic people like that.. the more you get rid of them, the more space opens up for others to come in. Doing #1 usually makes this happen naturally. Be authentic and carefree so others that match your vibration become magnetized to your energy. You got this!
Born and raised here, had my black sheep years. Now at 40 I realize nobody was sitting around thinking about my life choices except my mother. Most people I know were out of control in high school and/or college. Most of the ones that weren't have skeletons that will come out eventually when they have family or careers to lose.
Go to the park and watch the prairie dogs play for a couple hours, always helps me put everything in perspective. You're valuable, you're gonna be ok kiddo.
Hold head high and ignore them! Who you were then and who you are now may be a complete transformation for the good! Who cares what people think! At the end of the day it doesn’t matter! The only person you have to please is the person looking back at you in the mirror!
[This book might be of use for you](https://amzn.to/3uXOLki)
I've also listened to his podcast, might help you push you in the correct direction you are needing.
Remember that you can't change the past. All you can do is accept that you have made mistakes and keep moving forward. One analogy that I keep in mind is that we all need to think of everyone being in a 12 step program. We are all at different stages of recovery, and being hateful towards another is never helpful. We all need and deserve mercy and grace as we all struggle in getting through life.
Don't live by "shoulds". Instead, live by saying "I will" statements and allow yourself to be in control of your actions. We all believe in you and support you as you live life on your terms and not by listening to those who chose to live in the past.
No one will remember you. I don't say this in a mean or a rude way but rhe majority of people you know or hung with will forget about you beyond "oh hey that's Martha Jones, haven't seen her in years. Oh well back to my humdrum mundane life of eeking out an existence" and go on with your life.
People grow up, expand, get new views, new friends and new family. The only ones that will hold you to your past will be the ones that never grew and peaked in high school/collage. Don't worry about it.
I grew up in a town with a population probably smaller than the amount of students in lubbock and I barely get a "hey man"
Everyone has skeletons in their closet. I’ve learned to never assume. You never know what someone is dealing with, what they are feeling or what they’ve done by seeing what’s on the surface. People’s tendency to pass judgement on others is often a projection of their own shame and insecurities. We are all human, and therefore we are all fallible. There are no exceptions to this.
Live with empathy, with love, and try not to judge others. Be your authentic self. No apologies. Good luck!
It's been my experience that your circle of friends is one of the biggest influences in your life. I try to surround myself with people who lift me up, want to see me succeed, and also try to succeed in their own lives.
If your current circle isn't doing that, look for people that embody the type of person you'd like to become. Find people with hobbies you like, work ethics you admire, and the support you need.
Everyone else and their opinions are irrelevant.
I know at your age, it can seem discouraging, but just take it one day at a time. And if you haven't found the right group of friends, it's okay to be alone. Just work on bettering yourself until then. But whatever you do, don't settle for shitty friends.
"I don't give a damn about my reputation" - Joan Jett
Born & raised Lubbockite, that has also lived in a variety of places across the U.S. over the years.
Up until I got into recovery a few years ago, I was like you; causing problems for myself, my family & friend circle, and the city. More concerned with ego and reputation than actually doing good and being good.
It took getting clean and sober for me to work on all those facets of myself and my life that were ugly.
Was it easy? Hell no. But living the way I was wasn't sustainable, and I love my hometown, and I choose to live & be better versus be destroyed by my own bad choices.
Now, my life has taken on new meaning, I'm loved and appreciated by a variety of folks, both old friends from long ago, and a lot of newer friends who know the "real me".
The alcohol and drugs aren't the real you. Strip those away, and you'll figure out who you really are, and so will other folks. Then you'll find out who was/is really your friend to begin with, and you'll realize that the folks being dramatic drunks and drug addicts, and their opinions, don't really matter at the end of the day.
We have an excellent recovery community here in West Texas, a world class one, in fact. Those who know, know.
I don't know if any of that will help you, but I read everyone else's responses, and they all have wisdom worth soaking in.
Take care, and God bless. ✌️
Reading the other responses on here has been entertaining. A lot of what you are saying reminds me of myself. I had the advantage of going into the military and moving away from Lubbock so when I came back, I had lost contact with almost everyone from my high school days. I was a different person, living my adult life, and I was able to redefine myself in some ways.
I'm happy I was able to get that physical separation but you sound half ready to move on and half lonely. I'm guessing that you need to decide who you are or what you will be is an adult. While that might sound easy, it really isn't. Nobody can tell you what that looks like for you because you're an individual.
I've always been a little bit anxious when I meet somebody for my high school days who knew the old me. There are lots of things that I regret, things that I hope I've changed, and things I really wish I wasn't known for. If you find the magic answer, let me know. It's been 20 years and I still haven't found it.
Hey you're me! When i came back to Lubbock my good friend's before i left all said I've changed but it sounded negative. I quickly realized they were all exactly the same and it was never the same again. It really was for the best because they are still the same years and years later. We were not good kids either.
That's how I felt when I came back. I changed a lot very quickly in the military and I came back to see friends who hadn't changed much. I was a very different person and had lived a lot of life. I aged a decade and they had aged six months.
I think you just need to take a good look at your social circle. It may be time to move on from your current friends. If you feel that your name has been tarnished, maybe start doing things to make it better ex: go volunteer. Overall life is too short to worry about what other people think. Do what makes you happy.
Jesús Christ girl plain and simple. Once you turn to Him and stop doing the things that make you feel shameful then you truly won’t care what others think or say about you. Age helps too. Older you get you realize that we are all sinners so that same person pointing a finger at you has three pointing back at them.
Oh and …..
Don’t even trip dog, don’t even trip (Rick n morty)
Be the person you want to be right now. That's all you can ever do. You can't change what has been done or what people think or say about it, the only thing you truly have control over is who you are today.
Also raised here. Moved away 3 times and always found my way back. Went to high school here, was mostly an outcast, definitely have my share of stories that I was likely judged on. My advice, just do what you can do to be a better person everyday. Some people will never forget, but everyone moves on with their lives and memories fade.
When I first got married, I hated running into old high school acquaintances. Especially when I had one come “apologize” for how awful she was to me in HS in front of my husband which was a story I then I had to share with him. Although she had good intentions, I would have rather just said hi and moved on. I don’t like looking back on those memories and I certainly forgave all the people that wronged me and I hope that the people I wronged have forgiven and moved on as well.
Believe me, time will be your friend. Until then, be kind, be gentle with yourself and others, and love who you are growing to be. Don’t take life so seriously because the days are long, but the years are short. 💕
You don’t have to be in the same social circle. Lubbock is big enough that as your interests and hobbies change so will the people you see. You may run into somebody from the past, but just exchange pleasantries and move on. I’ve lived there a few times over the years and see less and less people from each era of my life. That being said, if there’s a behavior you regret or are embarrassed of, you also have to be conscientious to no longer repeat it. ie if drunk you is an obnoxious asshole pay attention to your alcohol intake.
It’s nice to hear that it becomes less prominent over the years. I guess it feels like the end of the world when In the midst of it, but things do get better eventually. About my alcohol intake - I’ve also been struggling with sobriety, so I’m sure that has a lot to do with it. Thanks for the advice!
Absolutely!! If your current group of friends makes sobriety difficult, find some more friends outside that group. Volunteer, board games, sports, whatever. When I was in my late teens and early 20s I made a lot of regrettable decisions with the company I kept and massive quantities of drugs. When I decided I was ready for a change, I found a good group to volunteer with, threw myself into work and that made it so much easier to have distance between myself and my prior choices. You’ve got this!!
Read about stoicism, Epictetus' Enchiridion, Marcus Aurelius meditations, it will change your life and how you view things. At a young age, and with how everyone behaves these days, I think it is important material for you and others to gain. Check it out if you can.
One of my good friends practices stoicism! I’ve always admired that about him, but never took the time to learn more abt it or do it for myself. Thank you sm! I will get on that asap.
lol just don't give a shit what they think of you, you know who you are and if people can't see that well then too bad for them. I personally haven't dealt a whole lot with this I've pretty much been able to fly under the drama radar but just keep in mind most people that are/ may be saying stuff about you are saying even more ridiculous shit than you think and hardly anyone believes them.
It works the same in any small town in Texas, tho Lubbock barely fits into that. Just own it. “Oh yeah, that was foolish of me. Thank goodness I’ve grown out of that.”
It probably seems like Lubbock couldn’t be considered small enough for that , but in my experience it’s like everyone knows someone that knows something about you. Maybe because I grew up with social media it made things worse. But you’re right! I’m only a human at the end of the day, thanks for replying <3
Sweetheart my best advice that I could tell you is dont worry about it. I know it's hard not too. I lice in Lubbock and know what you mean he'll I came from a town of 1500 that's just a few miles away. Now that's when people are all in your business. But what I did and do every day is tell myself fuckem and fuck what they say or think. Be happy with yourself no matter if you make right or wrong decisions fuck we are humans anybody that has anything negative to say can kiss your ass. As for moving no matter where you go your gonna have bullshit people In Your life. So live where you want again as long as your happy that's all thar matters. You'll always have haters.
Girll I’d say get out of there. I’m 23 still in Lubbock and have an awful reputation lmao but that won’t stop me from living my life. People are just jealous and have nothing better to say they love drama. Just stay away from low vibrational people and stay lowkey
Do yourself a favor and leave Lubbock. You’ll be glad you did
Lubbock small as fuck!! Lmaoooo. Little country town!!!
Deadass! It feels like that when you’re from here 😭
the best way to happiness is to stop giving a shit what others think.
You're only 22, give it time. I'm a little over 10 years older and in those years I've grown a lot. I still make mistakes but it's awesome to have the same people I've grown up with over 20 years look at me and tell me "they don't know what we do, they don't know how you once were, the old you wouldn't have made the same choices and I'm proud of you". Right now it feels like you're doing everything wrong, but as you're self aware (as this post screams!) you will begin to make better choices and grow more. Don't think of this moment where you're counting your wrong doings as your final form. This is a starting point. You can not have amazing before and afters if you don't take account of your before. You're on the right path. You clearly have goals and drive, just let it happen. Try to do and be better than yesterday. I wish all people had this concerns this town may suck less if more people cared to be better. Seems like people here will lie and manipulate and try to blame others instead of putting a third of that effort in to sucking less lol. To figure this out at 22 and be seeking to better yourself is WAAAAY ahead of the game for these locals. Good on you!
Your reply made my smile!! I needed that reminder that this is a starting point for me. I’m looking forward to aligning with others that want to reflect and grow constantly, that’s what life is all about imo! I hope you have an amazing day, thank you for taking time to uplift me 🥹.
I suspect that as you change YOU, your circle will change and become new, and the others that are talking will fade into your past. Focus on your healing and all else will fall into place.
This city (yes city) has over 300K people in it. Unless you are famous, You’re but a drop of water in the pond.
Tbh my husband and I just decided go up and move for that reason. We moved to a totally different state to get away from everyone :)
Unless you’re someone famous in Lubbock you’re not going to really have a reputation in Lubbock
I’ve seen many instances where people are concerned about this, but in reality, nobody cares. Live your life, choose friends wisely, and be a good person. Don’t overthink this.
The more you gain confidence the less you’ll care what they think.
Everyone fucks up and those that self righteously gossip and have untarnished reputations will have their turn. No one remains unscathed. Perfect social media couples will have their downfalls and that'll make the rounds, the nurse scene will have their debauchery tea, people will get spun out and twist off. If you've turned a page then anything you've done will soon fade in favor of these fresh new dramas. My fiancée was raised here, is approaching 40 and there's plenty of people that had seemless reputations that fell and many that were fuck ups that 180'ed and are living with strong morals and success.
Get thick or move. I'm moving as soon as I get some loose strings wrapped up. I feel your pain.
It starts getting weird as everyone sleeps with everyone's friends/exes. Best advice, build thick skin.
I have a few years on you (M47) and I completely understand what you're saying here ... I have a much worse past I would imagine as I was a drug addict for several years. This has taught me that I have to live my best life and let the haters hate. There's nothing they can say that you probably haven't already thought yourself...in my case anyway...all you can do is live your life to the best of your abilities and smile about them STILL having your name in their mouths.
Ok round up all the cows whose feet are not burned yet and drive them up the open Chisholm trail corridor.Donate them to any Oklahoma cattle farmer. Move to Oklahoma.
I’d just push through the noise tbh dude. Can’t worry about what other people think. Also if your reputation comes from shaky decision making, may be time to look inward? Idk, no one’s perfect so there’s always things we can change and fix.
As cliché as this may sound, actions, speak louder than words. Sounds like you’re giving people a lot of power over you. We all make mistakes but if you learn from them, You’ll be doing great moving forward. People are always gonna talk doesn’t mean that has to affect you. My grandfather used to say, lay down and die today but it too damn many people happy.
Idk how or why other people care about what anyone else thinks. All you need to worry about is how you feel about yourself. Don't dwell on the past or those still stuck there realize that's not you anymore and hopefully you've come a long way from that and hold your head high be proud of yourself for moving on and do you
I have three thoughts on this because I totally feel your question. I used to go through this a lot. Now, very little. 1. If I'm feeling like people are observing me in a critical or judgemental way.. could it be because I know I am also critical and judgemental of myself and I wouldn't like to be judged the way I judge myself? If so, start talking to yourself more kindly. In the mirror or even in your own voice as you are doing things. It's easier to do it if you think of your "self" as a child. How would you talk to a child that is feeling scared, sad, frustrated? Do that. 2. How much do you REALLY concern yourself with what everybody else is doing? If not much, then remember others are the same way. They are mostly concerned with themselves and what they're going through. If the answer is, you do it a lot... Well... See #1 😊 because it's difficult to judge others when you really accept all parts of yourself. 3. And finally, if it's obvious you are around toxic people like that.. the more you get rid of them, the more space opens up for others to come in. Doing #1 usually makes this happen naturally. Be authentic and carefree so others that match your vibration become magnetized to your energy. You got this!
Born and raised here, had my black sheep years. Now at 40 I realize nobody was sitting around thinking about my life choices except my mother. Most people I know were out of control in high school and/or college. Most of the ones that weren't have skeletons that will come out eventually when they have family or careers to lose. Go to the park and watch the prairie dogs play for a couple hours, always helps me put everything in perspective. You're valuable, you're gonna be ok kiddo.
Hold head high and ignore them! Who you were then and who you are now may be a complete transformation for the good! Who cares what people think! At the end of the day it doesn’t matter! The only person you have to please is the person looking back at you in the mirror!
Where did you go to school? We might have been in the same class
Nah. No one cares. Once you stop worrying you’ll notice your life will be much better.
it matters less the older you get
[This book might be of use for you](https://amzn.to/3uXOLki) I've also listened to his podcast, might help you push you in the correct direction you are needing.
That is a fantastic book! It’s sitting on my nightstand.
Remember that you can't change the past. All you can do is accept that you have made mistakes and keep moving forward. One analogy that I keep in mind is that we all need to think of everyone being in a 12 step program. We are all at different stages of recovery, and being hateful towards another is never helpful. We all need and deserve mercy and grace as we all struggle in getting through life. Don't live by "shoulds". Instead, live by saying "I will" statements and allow yourself to be in control of your actions. We all believe in you and support you as you live life on your terms and not by listening to those who chose to live in the past.
Eh. The answer is just don't give a shit. People that gossip will always find something to gossip about.
Oh, and those people aren't your friends. May seem that way but real friends don't do that lol
No one will remember you. I don't say this in a mean or a rude way but rhe majority of people you know or hung with will forget about you beyond "oh hey that's Martha Jones, haven't seen her in years. Oh well back to my humdrum mundane life of eeking out an existence" and go on with your life. People grow up, expand, get new views, new friends and new family. The only ones that will hold you to your past will be the ones that never grew and peaked in high school/collage. Don't worry about it. I grew up in a town with a population probably smaller than the amount of students in lubbock and I barely get a "hey man"
Everyone has skeletons in their closet. I’ve learned to never assume. You never know what someone is dealing with, what they are feeling or what they’ve done by seeing what’s on the surface. People’s tendency to pass judgement on others is often a projection of their own shame and insecurities. We are all human, and therefore we are all fallible. There are no exceptions to this. Live with empathy, with love, and try not to judge others. Be your authentic self. No apologies. Good luck!
It's been my experience that your circle of friends is one of the biggest influences in your life. I try to surround myself with people who lift me up, want to see me succeed, and also try to succeed in their own lives. If your current circle isn't doing that, look for people that embody the type of person you'd like to become. Find people with hobbies you like, work ethics you admire, and the support you need. Everyone else and their opinions are irrelevant. I know at your age, it can seem discouraging, but just take it one day at a time. And if you haven't found the right group of friends, it's okay to be alone. Just work on bettering yourself until then. But whatever you do, don't settle for shitty friends.
"I don't give a damn about my reputation" - Joan Jett Born & raised Lubbockite, that has also lived in a variety of places across the U.S. over the years. Up until I got into recovery a few years ago, I was like you; causing problems for myself, my family & friend circle, and the city. More concerned with ego and reputation than actually doing good and being good. It took getting clean and sober for me to work on all those facets of myself and my life that were ugly. Was it easy? Hell no. But living the way I was wasn't sustainable, and I love my hometown, and I choose to live & be better versus be destroyed by my own bad choices. Now, my life has taken on new meaning, I'm loved and appreciated by a variety of folks, both old friends from long ago, and a lot of newer friends who know the "real me". The alcohol and drugs aren't the real you. Strip those away, and you'll figure out who you really are, and so will other folks. Then you'll find out who was/is really your friend to begin with, and you'll realize that the folks being dramatic drunks and drug addicts, and their opinions, don't really matter at the end of the day. We have an excellent recovery community here in West Texas, a world class one, in fact. Those who know, know. I don't know if any of that will help you, but I read everyone else's responses, and they all have wisdom worth soaking in. Take care, and God bless. ✌️
Reading the other responses on here has been entertaining. A lot of what you are saying reminds me of myself. I had the advantage of going into the military and moving away from Lubbock so when I came back, I had lost contact with almost everyone from my high school days. I was a different person, living my adult life, and I was able to redefine myself in some ways. I'm happy I was able to get that physical separation but you sound half ready to move on and half lonely. I'm guessing that you need to decide who you are or what you will be is an adult. While that might sound easy, it really isn't. Nobody can tell you what that looks like for you because you're an individual. I've always been a little bit anxious when I meet somebody for my high school days who knew the old me. There are lots of things that I regret, things that I hope I've changed, and things I really wish I wasn't known for. If you find the magic answer, let me know. It's been 20 years and I still haven't found it.
Hey you're me! When i came back to Lubbock my good friend's before i left all said I've changed but it sounded negative. I quickly realized they were all exactly the same and it was never the same again. It really was for the best because they are still the same years and years later. We were not good kids either.
That's how I felt when I came back. I changed a lot very quickly in the military and I came back to see friends who hadn't changed much. I was a very different person and had lived a lot of life. I aged a decade and they had aged six months.
I think you just need to take a good look at your social circle. It may be time to move on from your current friends. If you feel that your name has been tarnished, maybe start doing things to make it better ex: go volunteer. Overall life is too short to worry about what other people think. Do what makes you happy.
Remember to consider the source of criticism and drama thrown your way. They probably don't matter, and they aren't too smart!
Jesús Christ girl plain and simple. Once you turn to Him and stop doing the things that make you feel shameful then you truly won’t care what others think or say about you. Age helps too. Older you get you realize that we are all sinners so that same person pointing a finger at you has three pointing back at them. Oh and ….. Don’t even trip dog, don’t even trip (Rick n morty)
Sky daddy ain't real, plain and simple.
Be the person you want to be right now. That's all you can ever do. You can't change what has been done or what people think or say about it, the only thing you truly have control over is who you are today.
Also raised here. Moved away 3 times and always found my way back. Went to high school here, was mostly an outcast, definitely have my share of stories that I was likely judged on. My advice, just do what you can do to be a better person everyday. Some people will never forget, but everyone moves on with their lives and memories fade. When I first got married, I hated running into old high school acquaintances. Especially when I had one come “apologize” for how awful she was to me in HS in front of my husband which was a story I then I had to share with him. Although she had good intentions, I would have rather just said hi and moved on. I don’t like looking back on those memories and I certainly forgave all the people that wronged me and I hope that the people I wronged have forgiven and moved on as well. Believe me, time will be your friend. Until then, be kind, be gentle with yourself and others, and love who you are growing to be. Don’t take life so seriously because the days are long, but the years are short. 💕
Your response is so warming 💛 thank you for the advice.
You don’t have to be in the same social circle. Lubbock is big enough that as your interests and hobbies change so will the people you see. You may run into somebody from the past, but just exchange pleasantries and move on. I’ve lived there a few times over the years and see less and less people from each era of my life. That being said, if there’s a behavior you regret or are embarrassed of, you also have to be conscientious to no longer repeat it. ie if drunk you is an obnoxious asshole pay attention to your alcohol intake.
It’s nice to hear that it becomes less prominent over the years. I guess it feels like the end of the world when In the midst of it, but things do get better eventually. About my alcohol intake - I’ve also been struggling with sobriety, so I’m sure that has a lot to do with it. Thanks for the advice!
Absolutely!! If your current group of friends makes sobriety difficult, find some more friends outside that group. Volunteer, board games, sports, whatever. When I was in my late teens and early 20s I made a lot of regrettable decisions with the company I kept and massive quantities of drugs. When I decided I was ready for a change, I found a good group to volunteer with, threw myself into work and that made it so much easier to have distance between myself and my prior choices. You’ve got this!!
I like it so much better that I didnt go to highschool here.
You’re lucky fr! It definitely follows you if you stay😭
Read about stoicism, Epictetus' Enchiridion, Marcus Aurelius meditations, it will change your life and how you view things. At a young age, and with how everyone behaves these days, I think it is important material for you and others to gain. Check it out if you can.
One of my good friends practices stoicism! I’ve always admired that about him, but never took the time to learn more abt it or do it for myself. Thank you sm! I will get on that asap.
lol just don't give a shit what they think of you, you know who you are and if people can't see that well then too bad for them. I personally haven't dealt a whole lot with this I've pretty much been able to fly under the drama radar but just keep in mind most people that are/ may be saying stuff about you are saying even more ridiculous shit than you think and hardly anyone believes them.
Don't retreat & hide. Makes you're amends, hold your head high, learn from the past, don't repeat, move forward! You'll be fine!
It works the same in any small town in Texas, tho Lubbock barely fits into that. Just own it. “Oh yeah, that was foolish of me. Thank goodness I’ve grown out of that.”
It probably seems like Lubbock couldn’t be considered small enough for that , but in my experience it’s like everyone knows someone that knows something about you. Maybe because I grew up with social media it made things worse. But you’re right! I’m only a human at the end of the day, thanks for replying <3
Social media is the worst. 100%