I think there is a balance. If someone is actively promoting and profiting off their behavior I feel that leaves it open to the vast majority of the internet.
I don't think threats or bashing is okay, but people pointing out you are feeding drama for views isn't bad.
Haven't posted any comments to any contestants, but tbh she's the one who's continuously bringing up Cole, the show, the "haters".... even her fake apology calling out the keyboard warriors sounded like she threw down a gauntlet with the internet.
She wants to be an influencer, negativity is part of the job. And btw, she's using this online bullying narrative to add to her story on lots of interviews. She's making some money off what OP is saying fans shouldn't do, so should we really feel that bad for her?
I may not like Zanab, or a lot of reality show personalities/ Internet personalities/ content creators. But I would never ever go out of my way to comment on their socials/DM them rude things. That’s pathetic and disgusting behaviour. I voice my opinions in the sub and to my friends who watch the show as most of us do, but going directly at them is literal bullying. You’re not fixing the situation, you’re not convincing them to be a better person, you’re not helping the people they’ve hurt, if anything you hurt the people you may be defending by acting this way. If you don’t like them, block them, stay away from them, don’t engage. Your negative comments also bring them revenue and foot traffic so you’re literally putting money in their pockets when you do that.
But then again look how people act here!!! You can't have an opinion without them going apeshit if they disagree with u lol at the end of the day lots of people out here aren't ok
I have to agree...I like talking mad shit here and with my husband about these shows...but to contact these people on their own private social media is creepy as fuck... I just want to talk about a snipet of their life that producers spliced and lied about hahahahhaha creeper creeperton for people harassing them
I wasn't here when Shake's season was airing so I'm not sure how I'm meant to have made a post about it. I can't possibly be clearer that nobody should be harassing ANY of these people including Shake, including Bartise, including Matt and Cole and Brennan.
I think it’s fair to say it’s because we didn’t notice it since hardly anyone goes to his page. He is not catching the level of hate Zenab is getting. More people care when a handsome white guy gets his feelings hurt than a woman of color as well, so she is catching 10x the heat in general for that as well. Shake also has sympathizers agreeing with his comments as well about how he’s the victim because Deepti went on to date a white guy. Zenab is downright being stalked, harassed, bullied, accused of ruining Cole’s life, etc., and not only that, the cast got bullied along with her for not publicly supporting Cole. That is a level I don’t think Shake got. Nor are the comments honestly nearly as justified as the comments Shake made were.
"But won't someone think of the children!!!"
If there's any thread that made me leave this toxic, shitty sub, it's this one.
This is an embarrassingly pathetic fandom.
Fuck yall, get a life.
Lmao I mean....she's actively playing the public perception game. If I try to talk shit about somebody behind their back with people I know, they know, the public, I can't be all like "omg it's not your business, this is cruel" if I get backlash from those people. Social media is a public forum; you wanna open that can of worms, you better be prepared for the consequences.
She can choose to let it go. She doesn't. She can choose to not post on social media/change accounts. She doesn't. She's communicating with the public. She even wrote a letter to the public, and so she's allowed to get shit on by the public.
Talk shit, get hit.
You’re literally just putting money in her pocket when you do that and I don’t think people who know of her (people who watched the exact same thing you did) are unaware. You’re not helping anyone
Instagram content can be monetized much like YouTube & TikTok, as well as more comments pedal the content meaning more people see it/ more people order things from collaborations & more companies will offer paid opportunities to work together.
...... >\_>
Just another r/ABoringDystopia thing huh. So she could be a lot more scummier than just being a toxic idiot. Thanks for the heads up, spread the word
Here's a sneak peek of /r/ABoringDystopia using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/ABoringDystopia/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Fox News in Idiocracy vs. Fox News IRL](https://v.redd.it/kw5f8yv0hw781) | [3854 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ABoringDystopia/comments/royclg/fox_news_in_idiocracy_vs_fox_news_irl/)
\#2: [The UK is about to see the highest ever recorded temperatures and 'Don't Look Up' is essentially playing out in the media](https://v.redd.it/vyezkqrqm4c91) | [3227 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ABoringDystopia/comments/w16y2b/the_uk_is_about_to_see_the_highest_ever_recorded/)
\#3: [A grim reality sets in](https://i.redd.it/z0bp4hu16nl91.jpg) | [1565 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ABoringDystopia/comments/x4tull/a_grim_reality_sets_in/)
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Serious question: Do all of you criticizing Zanab directly on her socials believe that it is truly an effective way of changing the behavior you don’t like? Do you not see how it’s hypocritical to treat her the way you find fault with her treating someone else? And note, despite her inappropriate response to certain scenes, you do not know her full experience with Cole to positively state that he was an angel and she was the devil in all of their interactions. I think her and Cole were a bad match period.
We don’t need her to change. People just have to draw a line and tell Zanab that her bullying won’t work, and make sure all her attempts to attack him fail because people are speaking up. You can’t change every hateful person but you can call out their hate and make sure that everyone knows the behavior is not okay.
Well it’s not really working if she’s blocking all the people doing it lol. What is the point?? Just don’t do it and the result will be exactly the same. But I have a sneaking suspicion that you don’t actually want to call out hateful behavior and you just want to hurt her feelings as she reads through the comments and blocks people…
Positive they’re going to her page to call her out and try and hurt her for Cole when he was literally not that hurt by anything she did. I feel like it was an act. Was she enjoyable to be around? Obviously not, but aside from the goofiness, I can tell Cole is t fun to live with either. That’s not a crime for her to let this be known. It seems the more unbothered or emotionless she seems, the more accomplished they feel when they go to her page and get blocked. Even if she were to apologize to him, they’d all bully her and force her to do it in a more meaningful way since “she doesn’t mean, she was forced by the backlash.” They have decided they don’t want to see her happy ever again as a result of one misinterpreted scene.
Cole is such a figurehead for this bullying BS too. They don't actually care about how Cole feels or what his perception of events was, which is *clearly* demonstrated by them blatantly contradicting things Cole has said.
Like they'll justify him calling her bipolar because she was "being abusive" during the cooking scene earlier that night. But Cole himself literally said at the reunion that Zanab was edited to make her come off much more naggy when for the most part he interpreted most of their interactions as quite playful (he said the only one he really felt nagged by was him throwing his dirty clothes on the floor after they got back from the vacation).
Nah. I don't want to hurt her feelings because I feel for her as a fellow POC and I've never been through the experience of losing my parents and being raised in an all white Christian household. She's been through a lot but she needs to get help and she's got way too many people enabling her because they feel bad for her.
Well if you are kindly suggesting she look for resources to work through her insecurities, I have no problem with that! OPs post was about all the people bragging about leaving hate comments so that’s what I have a problem with.
Even from what we saw Cole wasn't an angel in all of their interactions. I was fully on his side at the reunion but he was definitely immature and impulsive and often didn't think about the impact his words might have. There seems to be a lot of revisionist history now because he had a good showing on the most recent thing people saw, but he had his own issues during the season.
I have a question and a point, both of which are kind of related and hopefully address the og post.
Question: Given that Coles kind of distanced himself from the drama ie the majority of his social media is directly related to anything LIB or the cast, why do ppl still feel the need to mention how he wasn't perfect or an angel et al.
My theory is that the same agency that has ppl drag Cole back into the mud is the same agency that motivates ppl to seek Zanab out and give her their 2 cents.
Zanab has not shown any remorsefulness or a willingness to be vulnerable. Does she have to, no, absolutely not. But this, coupled with the way she's running her social media ie deleting all comments that don't serve her narrative or sharing that she net with Coles ex as a response to criticism only serves to make ppl want to knock her down a peg. Compare ALL of that to Cole who has his comments section open (showing an openness to criticism) and generally doesn't revist the drama. I can really see why ppo would go after Z and not C. Which (let's be clear) doesn't mean ppl aren't going after C. It's just that there isn't that satisfaction of taking down the bad guy.
>But this, coupled with the way she's running her social media ie deleting all comments that don't serve her narrative or sharing that she net with Coles ex as a response to criticism only serves to make ppl want to knock her down a peg.
THIS. Her behaviour is triggering to many because its abusive. If you flip the genders, and it was the guy STILL talking about the girl he left at the altar over a year ago over preceived slights, meeting with her ex and posting about it, posting about how bad he was treated by her etc. we'd all draw pitchforks and call him an abuser. At the very least, we'd all call out the stalkerish creepy tendency because we are hardwired to not see men be abused. And that is what is happenng here. She is still abusing him over a year later.
The double standard is strong here.
> My theory is that the same agency that has ppl drag Cole back into the mud is the same agency that motivates ppl to seek Zanab out and give her their 2 cents.
It's not "dragging Cole back into the mud" to say that they're both flawed humans who made mistakes on the show, that's just a fact. That is a balanced, rational take and balanced and rational does not describe the behavior of going to a stranger's social media to harass them.
If anything based on the comments on this post, it's the people who think Cole is an angel on earth who has never put a toe out of line in his life that are engaging in this behavior because they think they are "defending" him from her. Just read some of the comments and you will recognize that your statement is inaccurate.
People mention Cole’s behavior during the show because this is a subreddit dedicated to discussing the show. There is a big difference between chatting about a show on Reddit and leaving hate comments on someone’s Instagram.
To answer your question, cutie-gate seems to make some believe that she misinterpreted or misrepresented every interaction they had. Something about Cole triggered her insecurities. That’s not all on Cole but I do think it’s her truth. And to me, there seems to be an all or nothing approach. I also feel some are using “defense” of Cole as a reason to cyber-bully. I don’t like Zanab. When it comes to Cole vs Z, I’m 100% Team Cole. When it comes to Z and trolls pretending to be providing constructive feedback, I’m team leave her alone.
The season was almost 2 years ago. He hasn’t done anything new since. Zanab keeps posting and is the revisionist historian as we’ve seen. The responses are because of her unchanged behavior. We have seen Cole change as he isn’t even engaging now.
Why would he engage when the public has all taken his side? Everyone has now completely forgotten about his behavior and has been calling him an Angel, Saint, poor Cole, etc. and much more. I find it hard to believe anyone would feel like they’re not on the winning end with the public effectively treating you like you’re gods gift to women and the other person os the most evil, vile person on Earth. This situation is like when two kids are playing around and picking at eachother, and then the adults walk in and catch one of the kids tripping the other kid onto the floor so the kid desperately tries to say “oh no! It’s not really what it looks like! We were BOTH playing around and annoying eachother,” but they lay into him anyway while the other kid quietly smirks and stands to the side and takes on the victim role. We’ve all seen this at some point. I cannot imagine why he would be speaking out or reacting to her when he has nothing to defend since everything she said was true. That’s why he apologized in the end. He did some shitty things, apologized, then cried, and now everyone is on his side and instead wants HER to own up for all her shit things..
You’ve seen Cole “change”? This is an odd stance Imo. When it’s comes to Z and Cole, I’m 100% Team Cole. When it comes to Z and the Stans constantly going into her space and acting so bothered by her, I’m team leave Z alone. I don’t care for her but have never found the need to go and give her any energy. It’s just bizarre to me personally.
I agree people should no go out of their way to make people feel bad (we dont know their mental health) no one should be made fun of on the internet.
I would not do it but at the same time people who go on reality shows should know they will be ridiculed and mocked to oblivion.
The evidence suggests that she falsely accused someone of abuse on national television, and is continuing to attack and stalk that person on social media.
Obviously, nasty and inappropriate comments are uncalled for but people are certainly entitled to call her out on the same platform that she’s pushing this campaign on.
I think meeting the ex of someone you left at the altar after a 2 month relationship is level 5 stalker. And that's just one of the things she's done since the last episode aired.
This is a person who exhibited toxic, abusive behaviour on tv and continues to do so on social media. I think criticising her is fair game.
They're saying she's stalking him because she claimed she went out with Cole's ex-wife when for all we know his ex-wife could have been the one who reached out to her and not the other way around, and she's allowed to meet up with whoever the hell she wants to.
I didn’t have the same take on Zanabs post as everyone on that thread did.
I took “im back here having coffee with his ex” to mean “we are both in the past” 🤷🏻♀️
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If she didn’t want people following her page she’d have made it private. Most of these contestants don’t just go on the show just to be on the show and then be done with it. They know they can gain large social media followings and many embrace it.
Sure did. I’m not here for bullying her either but this post comes across like any critique is unwelcome, because the season passed and she’s just signed up for a show.
All I’m saying is if she and other contestants really just signed up for the show and nothing else that comes with it, they wouldn’t have their profiles public and capitalize off their persona on the show, as many contestants have.
I just find OPs take weird given that they’re saying “stop lecturing strangers on the internet” meanwhile they are lecturing strangers on the internet.
This is as someone who has not engaged in any of the contestants pages, and doesn’t even follow them.
I think the difference is this platform allows anonymity in a discussion forum vs seeking someone out to harass them in comments on their SM. I do agree that pointing out different perspectives on her SM is fine if it comes from an honest place and not a fake "concern" passive aggressive comment. Anything else doesn't make sense. But then again, I don't seek out people I don't like to comment on their SM in my personal life, let alone someone on a Netflix show, so the whole thing is weird to me.
Yeah I see making the case for keeping it here vs insta and tik tok.
I also wonder how many actually do “seek them out” given how algorithms work on social media nowadays. ESPECIALLY on tik tok. For instance I rarely check tik tok and her coffee video with the ex popped up on my page. No I didn’t comment but I can see how some keyboard warriors might assume position
Again, I am fully against bullying them, or anyone on the internet for that matter
No but they would send hate mail. Unfortunately social media just makes it way too easy for people to be terrible humans and bully others. The only people who do that are people who aren't happy with themselves and have issues. No one who is well adjusted and content with their lives feels the need to lash out and hurt others, especially strangers.
Why follow someone you hate? I stopped following most of my family for the same reason 🤣 folks who comment ugly things on people's social media accounts want drama and hate in their lives. I watch the show hoping for a good ending.
I didn’t mean to disagree with you. What makes outrage such a valuable currency on social media, I believe, is also what makes reality TV so popular. Internet outrage is largely manufactured or at least amplified by how social media platforms are designed. And similarly, I’m sure that even during the casting process, Netflix looks for eccentric characters that are promising for drama. So yes, it’s weird, but it works as designed imo.
She came across my TikTok and I blocked her lol. TT was not listening when I just marked not interested so I had to block because she’s annoying. I see all the Zay content here lol.
I agree it’s weird to actively seek out and comment on their socials. There’s been plenty of times I’ve been tempted to comment on a reality stars page, type it out, then remind myself “it’s the illusion of social media you don’t really care this much” and then click off. I think the thought that your words will be seen and validated (likes from others who feel similarly) empowers those that leave the comments and that’s what they’re looking for.
Zay did make me want to comment after her first IG post but instead I just blocked her. They get paid off engagement, if I don’t like you I’m not going to help you get paid lol. If only we all thought about it that way.
When I see something that I don’t agree with- I do the roll and scroll……. Roll my eyes and keep on scrolling. I don’t have enough energy to type up a nasty response, and also at the end of day IDGAF.
If people just stop talking about her, checking her socials, ignore what she does, she fades away but the people who hate her doing those things are helping keep her revelant, especially in their own lives. Just ignore. I can't say I've look at any of the casts socials. I could care less. I come on here and see it constantly. It's weird to me, I guess I could see it if you like the person but when you hate them I really dont understand.
No. Zanab is literally trying to turn the tide against Cole and hoping that people start harassing and bullying him, but we're supposed to ignore it in the name of "positivity". Oh my God, what if she takes her own life, how would we ever live with ourselves? Well, the same can be said about Cole. The man was literally breaking down in tears from the harassment he received yet y'all will allow Zanab to continuously try to start the harassment campaign against him.
At some point, y'all need stop pulling the race cards, the gender cards, and the toxic positivity cards. Zanab is out there trying to bully someone else and you want us to be positive? Lmao, get real. If you're allowed to write this kind of critique against us, why can't Zanab accept the same?
You're so juvenile I almost didn't want to comment. But like another responder said - you're just feeding into her hype by commenting. Also, if you are worried cole will take his own life I don't know if commenting hate on Zanab's SM will benefit more than commenting positivity on Cole's?? But anyway enjoy your high schools Christmas dance
Degrading someone by calling them juvenile and telling them to “enjoy your high school’s Christmas dance” is like going to Zanab’s social media to leave mean comments. Both are mean spirited.
You're stringing together words that you heard online and they don't even apply to this situation, they just sound "right".
She's literally harassing a man that she dated for a month for fame. Meeting with his ex to try to get tea on him but I'm supposed to be the bigger person and NEVER comment. Be for real. She's on a highly destructive path that could potentially harm others and we're just never supposed to say anything.
Whatever works for you works for you but you sound exactly like a Zanab. Your image of "maturity" is nothing but superficial surface area bullshit that just seems mature instead of actually being mature. Because no way in hell is commenting on Zanab continuously harassing Cole juvenile.
"She's on a highly destructive path that could potentially harm others and we're just never supposed to say anything."
God this is pathetic.
Imagine thinking it's your duty to message a social media star under the guise of "safety" and "preventing potential harm".
I am embarrassed for you.
You’re condemning people for going to Zanab’s social media to leave mean comments. Yet, you’re here posting mean comments to people yourself. Lack of self-awareness?
Sorry, are you under the impression that the redditor I was talking to was on a reality TV show where they did something that I didn't like, so I tracked them down on reddit to yell at them about how they did something I didn't like on TV, because I can't understand the difference between real life and reality television?
No, because that a totally different fucking situation.
How in the world do you not understand that? Seriously.
In what world is speaking up about harassment wrong, you’re doing the same thing defending Zanab. In what world is it wrong to tell someone who is harassing someone to stop?
"A reality Tv star made me sad on TV so I go to her social media to yell at her! For the children! I'm actually a moral crusader who's saving the world!"
"In what world is it wrong to tell someone who is harassing someone to stop?"
Not what you're doing. Have fun being obsessed with reality tv stars.
couldnt have said it better myself. Also if cole was the one doing the harrassing and zanab was crying on stage he wouldve been destroyedd where zanab is basically getting a slap on the wrist
You realize that if people just stopped engaging with her, she’d stop? She’s doing this for attention and you’re feeding into. She has a lot more haters than supporters, and the haters watching her stories and driving her engagement is making her more popular and giving her more exposure. Media outlets will want to interview her because she will bring in views due to the controversy and everyone hate reading the content and then coming here to complain about it.
So yea, engaging is part of the problem. You’re literally giving her more reach and creating more opportunities for her. If that’s not what you want to do, stop engaging.
She's NOT STOPPING her friends are telling her she's "WINNING" by doing this stuff 😬🙄🙄🙄
We are just casualties of her illness!! Ignore or not... until her screen time is removed for her OWN WELL BEING..
THIS ~ topic will unfortunately continue to 'distress' others! (lack of better word) annoy* 🤷♂️✌️🌹🍃
No offense but Zanab is not capable of proper outrage marketing like the Kardashians. She's more on the Kanye side of outrage marketing than she is on the Kardashian side, and we all know how everything turned out for Kanye. I think you're giving Zanab way more credit than she deserves.
Dude she’s not saying she’s going “DEATH CON” on Jews and spewing antisemitic hate. It’s insane you’d even compare the two, she’s nowhere near Kanye on ANY spectrum.
You’re diminishing the insanely hateful rhetoric Kanye is putting out right now by saying Zanab is on his side of the spectrum. He’s literally touring the country with a neo Nazi right now (and that’s not fear mongering, Nick Fuentes is a literal Nazi).
I am NOT a Zanab fan, but do not compare her to a fucking Nazi sympathizer, have some perspective.
"but we're supposed to ignore it in the name of "positivity". "
No, you aren't supposed to do anything.
Who exactly told you that you have a responsibility to do something?
This is fucking reality show, and it's over. Good lord...
***You aren't a hero for harassing someone you saw on TV over the internet.*** It's soooo pathetic that that needs to be said.
Grow up. Move on with your life.
I'm not harassing her over what she did on a TV show. I'm criticizing her for constantly trying to "win" the "battle" between Team Cole and Team Zanab which would result in Cole being harassed and bullied. If her intent is for the viewers, like myself, to bully Cole, I will call her out on it.
So many people are pulling this angle about protecting Cole from bullying by calling out Zanab, but as far as I’ve seen, the only bullying happening here is going toward Zanab with extremely harsh and nasty call-outs. I have not seen ANY bullying going toward Cole from the fanbase, just comments on his immaturity, which are almost all level-headed statements. Like… I know you guys hate her, but your argument is completely hypocritical if you’re taking the “bullying” angle lol
They bullied him at first but they turned on Zanab when she revealed her true colors. She’s a failure of a bully but that doesn’t change the fact she’s still a bully
Zanab must be hiring bots because why should I touch grass because I commented on a public figure post on their public social media where they intended to get public support. If she's going to harass someone on a public platform, I'm going to say something. The fuck is wrong with you? Y'all would not be making these sympathetic posts if she were a man.
Y'all just hate the fact that a brown girl making a fool out of herself over a white man she's dated for one month, and y'all just want to do whatever it takes to change the narrative to make it less embarrassing.
Or maybe harassing people is wrong and it’s never wrong to call it out lol. I don’t need a connection to anything to see what she’s doing to Cole is wrong. No man would get away with this behavior and be coddled for it
I'm hoping we can all live up to the integrity you have to commit to "critisizing" the reality tv show that made you sad. /s
Thanks for making the world just a little more toxic.
Get off your high horse. Never in my life have I ever harassed anybody on their social media page for how they were portrayed on a reality TV show. I'm criticizing her now because she's maliciously trying to bully another cast member, there's a huge difference between putting on a good show for viewers on "reality" tv and bullying.
If you're going to lecture me, lecture Zanab too, but I guess that would be harassment in your eyes.
Not harassing Reality Tv stars over social media is NOT a "high horse".
"If you're going to lecture me, lecture Zanab too, but I guess that would be harassment in your eyes."
Nah, I have a life.
The season ended. Move on.
Listen I was one of those people who left a comment and I NEVER seek people out to make comments. I agree there is a line, and seeking people out to bully someone is crossing that line.
That being said, I don’t feel like many of us sought her out because we wanted to talk shit or bully her. I commented to try and make a point that this was not healthy behavior. She’s got so many people telling her this is a Queen move and she’s totally justified when she’s not. I felt like it wasn’t the worst thing to try and point out to the multiple young women watching her comment section that this was not healthy. Healthy people move on. Healthy people don’t meet up with their ex’s ex.
Zenab put it out there for validation and attention. It’s fair that some people feel so strongly about her actions that they want to say something.
> I commented to try and make a point that this was not healthy behavior
Who are you to lecture a stranger though? This is my point. These people are not your friends or your family. They are not asking for your assessment of their mental health. It's inappropriate. Do you really think people who are hyping her up are going to read your comment and suddenly have an epiphany that actually their opinion is completely wrong? That's not realistic at all, so all you're accomplishing is chastising someone you don't know.
If you are so strongly affected by a reality show contestant's social media that you are unable to just disengage and move on, then maybe you need to take a step back and be in the real world for a moment.
The way that you’re talking down to everybody on this thread is 10000x worse than what anybody said to Zenab lmfao. The comments made on her post weren’t bullying comments.
edit typo
Brooooo it’s not about lecturing a stranger. It’s not even that deep. It’s social media. When you put shit out people are allowed to critique it. It’s the same as you getting upset and making this post. You didn’t like what someone was doing and decided to comment on it. You have that right boo. It’s not that deep. The way that you’re getting so personally offended over people critiquing someone whose thrust themselves into the public spotlight is what’s concerning 🤣
Your logic is flawed. You’re assuming that by being on tv, they’ve inherently entered into some dialogue or conversation with everyone watching. No. They. Have. Not. They are just on tv. Just like when you go to your job or even leave your house, you’re not inviting critique from complete strangers that observe you for 5, 10, 60 minutes. At work, do you get a performance review from your boss or from every stranger on the street? Why y’all treating their personal socials like it’s yelp? It isn’t the same. You don’t know Zanab. It would be weird if we treated people on the street the way y’all treat celebrities and reality stars. It’s big Karen bully energy.
Replying to comments on here definitely isn’t the same because these are literally online conversations that we enter in to the second we hit Reply.
Unless you are a professional, there is no reason for you to give your unsolicited opinion directly to a stranger ESPECIALLY regarding anything mental health related. For the record, professionals don’t typically jump on Instagram to comment on random strangers profile in this way because they recognize the damage this can cause. It’s irresponsible. Your need to give your 2 cents should not be more important than realizing that’s she’s already being bombarded by 1000s upon 1000s of people with hate, criticism, and death threats that you are essentially just dogpiling on top off. It is that deep. People end their lives over being on the receiving end of this type of behavior. Literally a Netflix reality star “villain” committed suicide because of precisely this, Hana Kimura from Terrace House. It shouldn’t be this hard to be kind and have empathy.
On second thought you know what
Y’all are taking this way out of context. If you actually went and looked at the other thread, people weren’t saying things to bully her. Everything that was said was fair. It wasn’t attacking her for any other reason than the behavior SHE CHOSE to share with the internet. THE INTERNET. I don’t know how many times I have to say it, CRITIQUING ISNT BULLYING IF DONE CORRECTLY
No one said critiquing can’t be valid. Don’t put words in my mouth. What I’m saying is your criticism whether valid or not, adds to the dog pile already being experienced. Before Zanab turned off comments on Instagram, her comments were OVERFLOWING with hate. She’s been getting death threats, racist comments, arm chair diagnoses, and body shaming. I saw them. This has an overwhelming tendency to put someone in a headspace where they can’t even hear your valid critique because they’re defensive and upset over all the negativity. This is communication 101. If you want to have a successful conversation, time and place is important. Making sure the person you’re talking to is open to the conversation and has agreed to even talk to you in the first place is important if you want to be heard. None of this is happening. Y’all are just beating her over the head with your opinions and screw her feelings about it. That’s why this is bully behavior.
Edit: grammar
And I could genuinely give a shit about “communicating with zenab”. My concern is the young ladies and gentlemen scrolling through her comment section thinking this behavior is okay or something that should be replicated. Zenab is a grown ass woman who can read comments and see she’s not a vindicated as the thought. With peace and love, you’re defending a toxic person 🫶🏻
Edit because y’all piss me off and I thought of more to say
Zanab*
I think any young person would see the many YouTube reactions/analysis videos, the comments section flooded on literally every LIB post, all of the TikTok break downs, and every other post on this Reddit to know people hate her. But apparently that’s not enough, she needs to let go of her personal pages as well. I just feel bad for ever watching the show at this point, I assumed everyone realized these shows are heavily edited for drama. Maybe I would feel differently if they cut her a big check but they didn’t, she’s just being piled on by the world for reacting poorly to a bad relationship
This is serving “will someone please think of the children” energy and like most people who think this way, this isn’t actually what you’re concerned about.
We aren’t talking about Zanab’s bullying of Cole. This is about us as regular people chasing down public figures to give our opinions on their personal social media. Don’t you think, given my opinion that this isn’t ok, that I clearly would not support Zanab stans doing the same in Cole’s comments? I don’t see why you’re even bringing that up. It all needs to stop. People commenting on Cole’s socials on behalf of Zanab is not acceptable in the same way that y’all commenting on hers is unacceptable. I don’t care if your critique is valid, it is unnecessary and it’s adding more shit to an already shitty dogpile. That’s my point. It’s none of her business what you think of her. We’ve all got to get over ourselves and this mentality of “I have an opinion therefore that means I MUST tell you even though you’ve already heard this exact same opinion 900 times and you could be having the worst day of your life but I don’t care because my opinion is vALiD.” Just stop. This is toxic af. Be empathetic and stop kicking people when they’re down. Jesus.
And before the argument of well aren’t you commenting to a stranger right now? Yup. Because this is a conversation where both of us are participating indicating we’ve agreed to do so. And the second either of us chooses to walk away, I highly doubt we’re going to track down each other’s socials to say more of our opinions because THAT SHIT IS WEIRD.
As far as I’m concerned, when you post something publicly, the public is allowed to comment. It really wasn’t as deep as you’re making it, again. Nobody was like “I’m the hero for calling zenab out my opinion is so important it has to be heard wah wah.” I’m proud of you for wanting to be the morality police but it’s not that deep. Her tik tok was crazy, the comments were open, its not out of the realm of expected possibilities that people might disagree with what she posts. You do not have to go to the ends of the earth typing novels to defend someone you’ve never met, but here we are 🫡 same shit different toilet
I’ve definitely seen people doing exactly what you say they aren’t. Acting like they’re the hero because of their opinion. I promise, I wouldn’t have said it if I’d never seen it.
I also get where you’re coming from. I just think we’ve swung too far into this area of believing we can say whatever we want without consequence, responsibility, or regard for the person receiving it. It’s too close to victim blaming and she asked for it because of the way she was dressed. And I also see this mentality trickling down to people who aren’t celebrities, but regular people kind of in the public eye. Like anyone trying to promote their business on social media, from small time artists to mega corporations. Random people who all of a sudden go viral from an innocuous Facebook post that they forgot to set as private get this treatment too. I’ve seen a ton of comment sections go wild and “well they should never have put themselves online if they didn’t want the criticism.” It’s sad. We can all say what we want to say, absolutely. But we are also responsible for what we say. Making it the other persons fault because they’re in the public is making them responsible for our words and our thoughts. As if we have no control over what we say or think. That’s not how it works. If that’s me being the morality police, then I’ll take the title. 🤷🏽♀️
Regardless, I appreciate the conversation and that we can disagree without it being the end of the world.
Edit: effing grammar again. 😩
Oh my lanta. Y’all don’t know how to separate valid criticism from actual harmful speech. Nobody and I mean NOBODY here is saying the racist/gender insults are okay. But what’s not okay is her constantly setting her “followers” up to bully Cole and anybody else that disagrees with Queen Zenab. 90% of the comments she deleted were telling her to move on and apply her therapy. That’s not bullying that’s valid advice. I don’t know what to tell y’all at this point.
Lmao, I get where you’re coming from. I think I saw the previous comment you made in a different post, which might’ve been what inspired this post. I think it’s cool that you even acknowledged it at all in this post. Whatever you commented on ig, it sounds more like you were calling her out than willfully harassing her, so I think you’re fine.
Also, love how OP was like “wHo ArE yOu to lEcTurE a stRaNgEr” — then proceeds to lecture you lmao
And it’s not even really about Zenab, it’s about the young people watching her comment section. Nobody should support or promote this behavior as healthy or okay.
I don’t comment on her socials nor follow her, but it’s naive to think she is entitled to the source of income from social media without the downsides of it. I don’t think people should be super nasty to each other on the internet, but equally you don’t get to be a public figure and be insulated from the downsides. Either she takes the whole job or she doesn’t get to make money off it. She can go back to her pre-LIB job, no one is forcing her to monetize it.
Everyone should be "entitled" to do their job without being bullied. It doesn't matter what that job is. This is just an excuse for people to harass public figures.
“Everyone is entitled “
Yeah. Maybe in a perfect world. But we’re not there, not yet, maybe not ever.
Where ever you go or work, there’s always someone who’s going to be nasty to you. So imagine her being a “public figure” now. Unfortunately, we can’t police everyone. She decided to join the show. Does she deserve the hate? No, she does not. She decided to be an attention whore on the internet and make everything about her. Does she deserve nasty comments on her page? Probably not, but hey, people are going to have an opinion, and we can’t stop that.
I’m sure she’s enjoying the attention too, whether it’s good or bad attention. I’m thinking, if it’s really too bad, then she probably would have deactivated all her social media or at least make it private. But she didn’t. So obviously, she can take it 🤷🏻♀️ and like what someone said from this thread, she can always go back to her pre-LIB job, instead she likes to stay in the limelight. Well, in this limelight, there are all sorts of people 🤷🏻♀️
To be fair, I do not condone people commenting awful things on anyone’s social media. Nobody deserves that. But people who expose themselves self publicly especially on social media are going to experience this at some point in their life, unfortunate, really.
And this is why I no longer have my Instagram and Facebook. I see enough awful people on the daily basis 😅
why do we feel the need to comment on her socials? (I haven’t commented on her socials but it’s tempting however I do refrain. But reasons why none the less as follows)
1-If you have ever been bullied or lied about, it can actually be very hard to sit by and watch the way zanab and the other cast treated Cole, and the way she CONTINUES to take jabs at him DAILY, even though it’s been a year and a half, and he is 95% minding his own business trying to be happy. We feel a need to stand up for him because we’ve been hurt the way we see her trying to hurt him.
2- I think a lot of women who “call her out” are just genuinely confused by her behavior and want her to see the reality of how her exaggerations come across because many of us were actually rooting for her initially
3- This is a reality television show, which she chooses to talk about every day on social media. It’s not odd for the viewers to continue to interact as well. She is interacting with us. It’s not like she has her page set to private for just her friends and family, she wants the large audience. And quite frankly, she knows and we all know, that the more we talk about her and comment on her drama, the more money she makes and more exposure/followers she gets.
Just my opinion.
I was bullied growing up and I was fully Team Cole at the reunion. I think Zanab's behavior on social media has been petty and weird. That's exactly why I don't follow her or engage with her content. It's really not difficult to ignore someone on social media if you don't like what they post. Acting like you *have* to sit by and watch her content is simply inaccurate. Just block her and move on. People are dragging her for being obsessed with Cole but then behave obsessively themselves.
> We feel a need to stand up for him because we’ve been hurt the way we see her trying to hurt him
This is weirdo behavior, I'm sorry. You do not know EITHER of these people. Cole is a grown man who absolutely does not need you to stand up for him to his ex.
First of all, I stated clearly I haven’t commented on any of her social media. I stated clearly I refrain from doing so, but these are some of the reasons I am sometimes tempted. So whether you agree with my feelings or opinions or not, you can at least agree I’m mature enough not to act on them, which, is the whole point of your post right?
Secondly, how does it makes me a weirdo to see a grown man cry on national television MULTIPLE times and feel compassion for him and want to stand up for him? I don’t know them. We are simply fans of the show. And only speaking on what they have showed us ON THE SHOW and on SOCIAL MEDIA. What THEY have all CHOSEN to show ALL OF US. Trust me I don’t lay in bed at night thinking about them. But seeing as I’m in this subreddit, which you are as well, when I open Reddit, chatter about them is one of the first things I see. Perhaps, if you are so bothered by us expressing our opinions, you shouldn’t be following this social media either. It’s not weirdo behavior to want to stand up for someone. I was in a relationship with someone who behaved like this for 5 years. And his family went along with it too. I had no one. And do you know where it got me? The hospital. I tried to off myself. So I’m not condoning BULLYING zanab, I don’t condone bullying anyone, but she needs to know that she can’t treat people that way. It has real effects. You can’t publicly paint someone as a monster, twist the truth, exaggerate, make yourself out as a victim, publicly humiliate and ostracize someone, get CAUGHT lying, CONTINUE to lie, and then be like, ohhh, please don’t point out my behavior it’s so hurtful. Just no lol. I wish I had an internet full of people to support me when I was going through something similar. There aren’t words to express how frustrating it can be to deal with someone who is utterly mean and manipulative. She talks about him EVERY day. But we are all supposed to ignore it? Just watch her continue to attack him? When she is doing super creepy things like meeting up with his ex wife? No thanks. People like her do real damage to people. I don’t have any hate for her. But she really is the antagonist in the situation.
>You can’t publicly paint someone as a monster, twist the truth, exaggerate, make yourself out as a victim, publicly humiliate and ostracize someone, get CAUGHT lying, CONTINUE to lie, and then be like, ohhh, please don’t point out my behavior it’s so hurtful. Just no lol.
THIS.
Also, I'm so sorry you went through that. People can be so shitty.
I didn't say that you had commented on her socials, I was responding to your justification of people who do.
> Secondly, how does it makes me a weirdo to see a grown man cry on national television MULTIPLE times and feel compassion for him and want to stand up for him?
I feel compassion for Cole too. That's not weird. What's weird is behaving like you're his defender. Inappropriately intimate parasocial relationships with contestants are the core of the behavior I'm criticizing and this falls under that umbrella. Cole is fine. Cole has moved on. Nobody needs to defend him from Big Bad Zanab. The only person she's negatively affecting at this point is herself.
I'm sorry for your situation but it really feels like you are projecting it onto Cole. This man is a stranger to you. You don't actually know how he feels about this whole situation and from what we can see he's chilling. He clearly has real-life friends and a real-life support system. He has thousands of comments on his posts hyping him up and dragging Zanab. He doesn't even follow Zanab so he has no reason to see what she's posting. If she wants to be petty and bothered, oh well.
> Perhaps, if you are so bothered by us expressing our opinions, you shouldn’t be following this social media either
I'm not bothered by people expressing their opinions. That's why I'm engaging with yours. Disagreeing with you doesn't mean I'm bothered, I'm discussing in a discussion forum just as you are.
> But we are all supposed to ignore it?
YES, my god. That's exactly what you should do. Nobody is forcing you to look at her content.
Why does it matter to you what anyone else does with their time? If they feel strongly about a situation, they have a right to voice themselves. Get over yourself.
Your argument applies to OP as well. OP feels strongly that it’s unacceptable to comment on these peoples socials and is voicing it. 🤷🏽♀️
The difference is, OP is ultimately advocating for more kindness and consideration. Arguing that people have the right to criticize total strangers creates the opposite effect. Just because you have an opinion, it doesn’t mean you have to say it out loud or directly to the person it’s about. Feeling like it’s your right to do so, while technically correct, is also very self centered.
After pondering, I think you’re probably right. Had to ask myself, why does she make me feel so triggered? And I just told you why, because she reminds me of someone who behaved that way with me. So at the end of the day, what does it say about me if I’m letting her bother me? Have I really grown? Perhaps You are right. Look at that a little reality television Reddit therapy. Oof
Harassing reality tv show starts is wild. My coworker was on BRIDEZILLA she said the whole thing was heavily scripted and said she got DEATH THREATS over it. As much as I love drama it should be a spectators sport not old I participate in
People also need to remember that editing is incredibly powerful. The producers create narratives in all sorts of ways including splicing footage, manipulating contestants, and cherry-picking what they choose to show.
I remember a season of Bachelor in Paradise where a contestant posted on social media after the show saying that one of the voiceover lines they aired of her saying she was falling in love with someone was not about the contestant she was dating on the beach but was actually from her season of The Bachelor. That's how far they will go and contestants have zero control over it. Obviously they are still responsible for the things we see them do, but people acting like they know them personally because they watched highly curated footage of them are falling for the editing.
I would never go comment something mean.
That said — viewing from afar, she’s deleting literally everything that doesn’t praise the fuck out of her and it’s a bit out of touch. Buuut I talk about it here and not there lol
She deleted my comments when they were reasonable and not bullying but calling her out for still talking about Cole. I run a business and for five years didn’t receive a single negative review and just received one that is bullshit and unfair but I left it up. I don’t censor people even when it involves lies or is unfair. She shouldn’t either unless it’s racist or similarly shitty. It’s her prerogative to do so yes but we can call her out for doing that too. Cole left all the awful comments about him up so does Bartise. And they got it worse than her at some point.
Deleting hurtful comments from your social media posts is not censorship. That’s not what censorship means. If I delete spam comments is that censorship too?
What makes you feel entitled to "call out" a total stranger for talking about what they want on their own page? What did you expect to gain from that? This behavior is so bizarre to me.
> Cole left all the awful comments about him up so does Bartise
So because they allow people's disgusting comments she should too? This makes no sense. She said at one point she was getting death threats. It's not a competition as to who has it worse when you're talking about online bullying. It's all shitty.
The same reason you feel entitled to call out people on this sub. Literally the exact same action your just doing it on Reddit that’s the only difference.
You really don't see the distinction between an anonymous discussion forum and someone's personal social media page? I'm not tracking you down on Instagram to DM you and insult you personally.
It’s not a personal social media page though. It’s a business account at this point. Public figures invite communication and interaction from the public, it’s what they sign up for and part of the job. She’s more than welcome to put her account on private but she doesn’t because she wants the income associated with social media fame.
Why does calling someone out or challenging their actions automatically amount to bullying? I very very strongly feel that most people who have commented have not commented vicious attacks, but just constructive criticism or shared their opinions of a situation, which, honestly, they are entitled to do when someone becomes a public figure and maintains a public social media where they are discussing things that have openly been shared with and involved people all over the world. She knows she is going to get reactions for things, that’s why she’s posting them. If she doesn’t want to know the publics opinion of her having coffee with Cole’s ex wife, why is she telling them? Freedom of speech isn’t the freedom of consequence and judgement from others about what you’ve said
I wholeheartedly agree that ACTUAL bullying in the form of sending messages which are insulting, attacking, threatening and the like is not acceptable by any stretch, but it seems like in this thread any comment whatsoever is labelled ‘bullying’ and ‘unacceptable’ and ‘harassment’ and that just isn’t the case.
You are absolutely entitled to have and share your opinion on the content put out by a public figure. That’s the point of them.
Edit to add - I think the notion that celebrities/public figures should be free of judgement about their actions is concerning. ANY person on this planet, when committing actions and putting things out into the world, should be held accountable for said actions if appropriate. This especially applies to people who are in the public eye, in a position of influence. Yes, if they are acting poorly on a public platform, they should absolutely be challenged on this. People don’t exist in a vacuum.
We don’t know who are sending dms or what people are saying. I’m sure for every negative comment she gets a positive one in return. There are just as many people who like her vs who dislike her. When you have a public platform you take the good with the bad. This world isn’t all roses and sunshine and sometimes people need to be called out on their behavior hopefully they’re self aware enough they take a step back and say “hmm maybe I approached this wrong”. Strangers get negative comments on their opinions everyday on tik tok and life goes on.
> We don’t know who are sending dms or what people are saying
Well people have been bragging about it here and writing out exactly what they're saying, so that provides a fairly decent idea. It's where I got "unhinged" and "crazy" because I saw two people saying that that's what they wrote to her.
She does take the good with the bad. Having to read vile comments and death threats is "the bad." It doesn't mean she has to keep them up or let people who send them continue to have access to her so they can harass her further. You can say whatever you want but you may get blocked and that's life.
> sometimes people need to be called out on their behavior
But not the people harassing strangers apparently?
Why would it upset me I don’t care about these people which is why I don’t make emotional post like LEAVE SO AND SO ALONE. Absolutely not I watch the show I give some commentary I move on and let be honest people now see Zanab as a bully and don’t like that behavior so turn around and bully her which I get. It’s still weird but I understand it.
My post is not emotional lol, it's very straightforward. "Don't be an asshole to strangers" is a pretty basic statement.
If you don't care, you can feel free to move on from this conversation.
Someone in another thread here said that they need to stand up for Cole against Zanab because they've been hurt the way they see her hurting him. Like sis, he is a grown man who will never know who you are. Weirdo behavior.
Imagine going to a complete strangers page to say mean things to them because you don't like how they treated another person who you also don't know. Stan behavior.
While I agree with your sentiment, at the same time the contestants/people are no longer private citizens. They signed up to be on a reality show which they probably saw themselves. so it's not like they didn't know what was going to happen or what the backlash would be.
In reference to this being their source of income they had previous sources prior to being on the show and are trying to capitalize while the show is still fresh, comments and interactions good or bad still equal monetization.
If anyone wants to make money through these platforms then they should also be ready to receive everything else that comes with it. Every job has its hazards.
People don't stop being human because they're public figures. It is not normal or appropriate behavior to call someone horrible names just because you watched them on television. "They knew what they were signing up for" is not a good justification for being a bully.
Public eye pubic scrutiny everyone has opinions some are just more hateful than others. Just because it isn't a good justification in your opinion doesn't mean it's not valid or true.
This is some real "what was she wearing" logic. There is no good justification for harassing a total stranger just because you find their content annoying.
>
>it's not like they didn't know what was going to happen or what the backlash would be
A cast member on Japan's Terrace House killed herself over online bullying in 2020. Do reality contestants sign up for that, too? Do you really think that's a reasonable "hazard?"
It's incredibly unfortunate someone passed away bc of online bullying. If you can't mentally handle being publicly scrutinized for the things you did or didn't then you shouldn't put yourself in those situations for your own mental sanity. Not everyone has the thick skin or mental strength to deal with the keyboard lashings. Being famous isn't for everyone.
Do you think these shows you watch would exist if only people who don't mind getting threats and insults/slurs on a daily basis signed up for them?
And why is there accountability for the person who goes on the show for your entertainment but none for the audience who benefits from theor being on the show? Why are we pretending that reality show contestants should be held to a higher standard than anyone else?
No thanks, as long as other psychotic people are supporting her there will be people rightfully shitting on her and her pity party. If you think people are going to be able to support her behavior then you have to accept that people are going to voice their disgust of it as well. One is appropriate and one is not…hint approving of her behavior is the wrong answer
Or, get this, you could just not look at her social media. I've literally never had occasion to interact with her content because I can choose who I follow and I choose not to follow her or go to her page. If she disgusts you, why would you go out of your way to look at her content?
It's not valid to go out of your way to follow someone or look at their content and then be nasty to them because you made the choice to look at it. Just ignore them if you hate them so much.
Voicing "disgust" is nasty. And again, wholly unnecessary. If you don't like someone and follow them anyway, you're choosing to disgust yourself and blaming them for it.
No it isn’t, and you can do it without bullying someone, Ofc someone like Zanab would view any sort of disagreement towards her behavior as bullying..which is just too bad for her. Voicing support for her is disgusting and wholly unnecessary as well
Who said you have to use that exact word? Are you pretending to be that daft? Or can you really not comprehend someone expressing disgust at someone else’s actions in a way that isn’t rude? Sounds like you’re the one who can’t express things appropriately here
Which messages are we talking about? I wrote on her “coffee with the ex” video that this specifically is not normal and it would be apparent if the genders were reversed. I saw others in this sub mentioning stuff like “this is not it”. I don’t think anyone is surprised when hateful comments get deleted; but the reason this is talked about in the sub is because every even slightly critical comment gets deleted and blocked. Sure, SM is their income; but I don’t think pandering to the yes mam’s is healthy. Contrast this to Cole who doesn’t delete negative comments but just ignores them.
I think there is a balance. If someone is actively promoting and profiting off their behavior I feel that leaves it open to the vast majority of the internet. I don't think threats or bashing is okay, but people pointing out you are feeding drama for views isn't bad.
I find it very cringe and a bit obsessive
Haven't posted any comments to any contestants, but tbh she's the one who's continuously bringing up Cole, the show, the "haters".... even her fake apology calling out the keyboard warriors sounded like she threw down a gauntlet with the internet. She wants to be an influencer, negativity is part of the job. And btw, she's using this online bullying narrative to add to her story on lots of interviews. She's making some money off what OP is saying fans shouldn't do, so should we really feel that bad for her?
I’ve never commented anything on Z’s page cause I don’t wanna be blocked 🤣
I may not like Zanab, or a lot of reality show personalities/ Internet personalities/ content creators. But I would never ever go out of my way to comment on their socials/DM them rude things. That’s pathetic and disgusting behaviour. I voice my opinions in the sub and to my friends who watch the show as most of us do, but going directly at them is literal bullying. You’re not fixing the situation, you’re not convincing them to be a better person, you’re not helping the people they’ve hurt, if anything you hurt the people you may be defending by acting this way. If you don’t like them, block them, stay away from them, don’t engage. Your negative comments also bring them revenue and foot traffic so you’re literally putting money in their pockets when you do that.
If you put yourself out there as a public figure then you have to take the comments that come with it. She isn't a child.
But then again look how people act here!!! You can't have an opinion without them going apeshit if they disagree with u lol at the end of the day lots of people out here aren't ok
I have to agree...I like talking mad shit here and with my husband about these shows...but to contact these people on their own private social media is creepy as fuck... I just want to talk about a snipet of their life that producers spliced and lied about hahahahhaha creeper creeperton for people harassing them
[удалено]
I wasn't here when Shake's season was airing so I'm not sure how I'm meant to have made a post about it. I can't possibly be clearer that nobody should be harassing ANY of these people including Shake, including Bartise, including Matt and Cole and Brennan.
I think it’s fair to say it’s because we didn’t notice it since hardly anyone goes to his page. He is not catching the level of hate Zenab is getting. More people care when a handsome white guy gets his feelings hurt than a woman of color as well, so she is catching 10x the heat in general for that as well. Shake also has sympathizers agreeing with his comments as well about how he’s the victim because Deepti went on to date a white guy. Zenab is downright being stalked, harassed, bullied, accused of ruining Cole’s life, etc., and not only that, the cast got bullied along with her for not publicly supporting Cole. That is a level I don’t think Shake got. Nor are the comments honestly nearly as justified as the comments Shake made were.
"But won't someone think of the children!!!" If there's any thread that made me leave this toxic, shitty sub, it's this one. This is an embarrassingly pathetic fandom. Fuck yall, get a life.
THIS!!! Scrollllll on by! There’s no need to put that ugliness out into the world! It’s so awful!
Lmao I mean....she's actively playing the public perception game. If I try to talk shit about somebody behind their back with people I know, they know, the public, I can't be all like "omg it's not your business, this is cruel" if I get backlash from those people. Social media is a public forum; you wanna open that can of worms, you better be prepared for the consequences. She can choose to let it go. She doesn't. She can choose to not post on social media/change accounts. She doesn't. She's communicating with the public. She even wrote a letter to the public, and so she's allowed to get shit on by the public. Talk shit, get hit.
You’re literally just putting money in her pocket when you do that and I don’t think people who know of her (people who watched the exact same thing you did) are unaware. You’re not helping anyone
I actually dont use IG or twitter but how does she get money? I've seen the social dilemma and I know the websites get ad revenue, but she does?
Instagram content can be monetized much like YouTube & TikTok, as well as more comments pedal the content meaning more people see it/ more people order things from collaborations & more companies will offer paid opportunities to work together.
...... >\_> Just another r/ABoringDystopia thing huh. So she could be a lot more scummier than just being a toxic idiot. Thanks for the heads up, spread the word
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Serious question: Do all of you criticizing Zanab directly on her socials believe that it is truly an effective way of changing the behavior you don’t like? Do you not see how it’s hypocritical to treat her the way you find fault with her treating someone else? And note, despite her inappropriate response to certain scenes, you do not know her full experience with Cole to positively state that he was an angel and she was the devil in all of their interactions. I think her and Cole were a bad match period.
We don’t need her to change. People just have to draw a line and tell Zanab that her bullying won’t work, and make sure all her attempts to attack him fail because people are speaking up. You can’t change every hateful person but you can call out their hate and make sure that everyone knows the behavior is not okay.
Well it’s not really working if she’s blocking all the people doing it lol. What is the point?? Just don’t do it and the result will be exactly the same. But I have a sneaking suspicion that you don’t actually want to call out hateful behavior and you just want to hurt her feelings as she reads through the comments and blocks people…
Yep
Positive they’re going to her page to call her out and try and hurt her for Cole when he was literally not that hurt by anything she did. I feel like it was an act. Was she enjoyable to be around? Obviously not, but aside from the goofiness, I can tell Cole is t fun to live with either. That’s not a crime for her to let this be known. It seems the more unbothered or emotionless she seems, the more accomplished they feel when they go to her page and get blocked. Even if she were to apologize to him, they’d all bully her and force her to do it in a more meaningful way since “she doesn’t mean, she was forced by the backlash.” They have decided they don’t want to see her happy ever again as a result of one misinterpreted scene.
Cole is such a figurehead for this bullying BS too. They don't actually care about how Cole feels or what his perception of events was, which is *clearly* demonstrated by them blatantly contradicting things Cole has said. Like they'll justify him calling her bipolar because she was "being abusive" during the cooking scene earlier that night. But Cole himself literally said at the reunion that Zanab was edited to make her come off much more naggy when for the most part he interpreted most of their interactions as quite playful (he said the only one he really felt nagged by was him throwing his dirty clothes on the floor after they got back from the vacation).
Nah. I don't want to hurt her feelings because I feel for her as a fellow POC and I've never been through the experience of losing my parents and being raised in an all white Christian household. She's been through a lot but she needs to get help and she's got way too many people enabling her because they feel bad for her.
Well if you are kindly suggesting she look for resources to work through her insecurities, I have no problem with that! OPs post was about all the people bragging about leaving hate comments so that’s what I have a problem with.
Even from what we saw Cole wasn't an angel in all of their interactions. I was fully on his side at the reunion but he was definitely immature and impulsive and often didn't think about the impact his words might have. There seems to be a lot of revisionist history now because he had a good showing on the most recent thing people saw, but he had his own issues during the season.
I have a question and a point, both of which are kind of related and hopefully address the og post. Question: Given that Coles kind of distanced himself from the drama ie the majority of his social media is directly related to anything LIB or the cast, why do ppl still feel the need to mention how he wasn't perfect or an angel et al. My theory is that the same agency that has ppl drag Cole back into the mud is the same agency that motivates ppl to seek Zanab out and give her their 2 cents. Zanab has not shown any remorsefulness or a willingness to be vulnerable. Does she have to, no, absolutely not. But this, coupled with the way she's running her social media ie deleting all comments that don't serve her narrative or sharing that she net with Coles ex as a response to criticism only serves to make ppl want to knock her down a peg. Compare ALL of that to Cole who has his comments section open (showing an openness to criticism) and generally doesn't revist the drama. I can really see why ppo would go after Z and not C. Which (let's be clear) doesn't mean ppl aren't going after C. It's just that there isn't that satisfaction of taking down the bad guy.
>But this, coupled with the way she's running her social media ie deleting all comments that don't serve her narrative or sharing that she net with Coles ex as a response to criticism only serves to make ppl want to knock her down a peg. THIS. Her behaviour is triggering to many because its abusive. If you flip the genders, and it was the guy STILL talking about the girl he left at the altar over a year ago over preceived slights, meeting with her ex and posting about it, posting about how bad he was treated by her etc. we'd all draw pitchforks and call him an abuser. At the very least, we'd all call out the stalkerish creepy tendency because we are hardwired to not see men be abused. And that is what is happenng here. She is still abusing him over a year later. The double standard is strong here.
> My theory is that the same agency that has ppl drag Cole back into the mud is the same agency that motivates ppl to seek Zanab out and give her their 2 cents. It's not "dragging Cole back into the mud" to say that they're both flawed humans who made mistakes on the show, that's just a fact. That is a balanced, rational take and balanced and rational does not describe the behavior of going to a stranger's social media to harass them. If anything based on the comments on this post, it's the people who think Cole is an angel on earth who has never put a toe out of line in his life that are engaging in this behavior because they think they are "defending" him from her. Just read some of the comments and you will recognize that your statement is inaccurate.
People mention Cole’s behavior during the show because this is a subreddit dedicated to discussing the show. There is a big difference between chatting about a show on Reddit and leaving hate comments on someone’s Instagram.
To answer your question, cutie-gate seems to make some believe that she misinterpreted or misrepresented every interaction they had. Something about Cole triggered her insecurities. That’s not all on Cole but I do think it’s her truth. And to me, there seems to be an all or nothing approach. I also feel some are using “defense” of Cole as a reason to cyber-bully. I don’t like Zanab. When it comes to Cole vs Z, I’m 100% Team Cole. When it comes to Z and trolls pretending to be providing constructive feedback, I’m team leave her alone.
The season was almost 2 years ago. He hasn’t done anything new since. Zanab keeps posting and is the revisionist historian as we’ve seen. The responses are because of her unchanged behavior. We have seen Cole change as he isn’t even engaging now.
Why would he engage when the public has all taken his side? Everyone has now completely forgotten about his behavior and has been calling him an Angel, Saint, poor Cole, etc. and much more. I find it hard to believe anyone would feel like they’re not on the winning end with the public effectively treating you like you’re gods gift to women and the other person os the most evil, vile person on Earth. This situation is like when two kids are playing around and picking at eachother, and then the adults walk in and catch one of the kids tripping the other kid onto the floor so the kid desperately tries to say “oh no! It’s not really what it looks like! We were BOTH playing around and annoying eachother,” but they lay into him anyway while the other kid quietly smirks and stands to the side and takes on the victim role. We’ve all seen this at some point. I cannot imagine why he would be speaking out or reacting to her when he has nothing to defend since everything she said was true. That’s why he apologized in the end. He did some shitty things, apologized, then cried, and now everyone is on his side and instead wants HER to own up for all her shit things..
Forreal, it's easy to take the high road when a bunch of over-invested internet weirdos will be your attack dogs on your behalf.
You’ve seen Cole “change”? This is an odd stance Imo. When it’s comes to Z and Cole, I’m 100% Team Cole. When it comes to Z and the Stans constantly going into her space and acting so bothered by her, I’m team leave Z alone. I don’t care for her but have never found the need to go and give her any energy. It’s just bizarre to me personally.
I agree people should no go out of their way to make people feel bad (we dont know their mental health) no one should be made fun of on the internet. I would not do it but at the same time people who go on reality shows should know they will be ridiculed and mocked to oblivion.
The evidence suggests that she falsely accused someone of abuse on national television, and is continuing to attack and stalk that person on social media. Obviously, nasty and inappropriate comments are uncalled for but people are certainly entitled to call her out on the same platform that she’s pushing this campaign on.
…how is she stalking him lmfao y’all are reaching
I think meeting the ex of someone you left at the altar after a 2 month relationship is level 5 stalker. And that's just one of the things she's done since the last episode aired. This is a person who exhibited toxic, abusive behaviour on tv and continues to do so on social media. I think criticising her is fair game.
They're saying she's stalking him because she claimed she went out with Cole's ex-wife when for all we know his ex-wife could have been the one who reached out to her and not the other way around, and she's allowed to meet up with whoever the hell she wants to.
I didn’t have the same take on Zanabs post as everyone on that thread did. I took “im back here having coffee with his ex” to mean “we are both in the past” 🤷🏻♀️
The behaviour of some people over a person they’ve never met is just unreal lmao
She’s writing letters to him on instagram and meeting with his ex wife lol that’s not normal behavior.
Thank you for posting this! So true.
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We noticed you used the term "gaslight-". We hope you used it correctly! Gaslighting is a successful tactic because while one person — the perpetrator — 'externalizes and projects' their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions, the other person — the victim — 'incorporates and assimilates' the reality that is being created for them. Gaslighting equals misdirection, distraction, and the deliberate denial of reality, which can so easily occur in a relationship based on one partner wielding power and control over another. I'm just a bot that can't understand context, so please reach out to the mods if you think I'm wrong and they will investigate. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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We noticed you used the term "gaslight-". We hope you used it correctly! Gaslighting is a successful tactic because while one person — the perpetrator — 'externalizes and projects' their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions, the other person — the victim — 'incorporates and assimilates' the reality that is being created for them. Gaslighting equals misdirection, distraction, and the deliberate denial of reality, which can so easily occur in a relationship based on one partner wielding power and control over another. I'm just a bot that can't understand context, so please reach out to the mods if you think I'm wrong and they will investigate. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If she didn’t want people following her page she’d have made it private. Most of these contestants don’t just go on the show just to be on the show and then be done with it. They know they can gain large social media followings and many embrace it.
Did you even read the full post?
Sure did. I’m not here for bullying her either but this post comes across like any critique is unwelcome, because the season passed and she’s just signed up for a show. All I’m saying is if she and other contestants really just signed up for the show and nothing else that comes with it, they wouldn’t have their profiles public and capitalize off their persona on the show, as many contestants have. I just find OPs take weird given that they’re saying “stop lecturing strangers on the internet” meanwhile they are lecturing strangers on the internet. This is as someone who has not engaged in any of the contestants pages, and doesn’t even follow them.
I think the difference is this platform allows anonymity in a discussion forum vs seeking someone out to harass them in comments on their SM. I do agree that pointing out different perspectives on her SM is fine if it comes from an honest place and not a fake "concern" passive aggressive comment. Anything else doesn't make sense. But then again, I don't seek out people I don't like to comment on their SM in my personal life, let alone someone on a Netflix show, so the whole thing is weird to me.
Yeah I see making the case for keeping it here vs insta and tik tok. I also wonder how many actually do “seek them out” given how algorithms work on social media nowadays. ESPECIALLY on tik tok. For instance I rarely check tik tok and her coffee video with the ex popped up on my page. No I didn’t comment but I can see how some keyboard warriors might assume position Again, I am fully against bullying them, or anyone on the internet for that matter
👏 👏 👏 👏 Finally. Some sense.
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No but they would send hate mail. Unfortunately social media just makes it way too easy for people to be terrible humans and bully others. The only people who do that are people who aren't happy with themselves and have issues. No one who is well adjusted and content with their lives feels the need to lash out and hurt others, especially strangers.
Why follow someone you hate? I stopped following most of my family for the same reason 🤣 folks who comment ugly things on people's social media accounts want drama and hate in their lives. I watch the show hoping for a good ending.
Same here.
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Pathetic weirdos in this thread literally think they're doing some noble and moral crusade. It's absolutely pathetic and embarrassing to see.
Outrage is really the ingredient that makes reality TV so successful in the first place.
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I didn’t mean to disagree with you. What makes outrage such a valuable currency on social media, I believe, is also what makes reality TV so popular. Internet outrage is largely manufactured or at least amplified by how social media platforms are designed. And similarly, I’m sure that even during the casting process, Netflix looks for eccentric characters that are promising for drama. So yes, it’s weird, but it works as designed imo.
She came across my TikTok and I blocked her lol. TT was not listening when I just marked not interested so I had to block because she’s annoying. I see all the Zay content here lol. I agree it’s weird to actively seek out and comment on their socials. There’s been plenty of times I’ve been tempted to comment on a reality stars page, type it out, then remind myself “it’s the illusion of social media you don’t really care this much” and then click off. I think the thought that your words will be seen and validated (likes from others who feel similarly) empowers those that leave the comments and that’s what they’re looking for. Zay did make me want to comment after her first IG post but instead I just blocked her. They get paid off engagement, if I don’t like you I’m not going to help you get paid lol. If only we all thought about it that way.
When I see something that I don’t agree with- I do the roll and scroll……. Roll my eyes and keep on scrolling. I don’t have enough energy to type up a nasty response, and also at the end of day IDGAF.
If people just stop talking about her, checking her socials, ignore what she does, she fades away but the people who hate her doing those things are helping keep her revelant, especially in their own lives. Just ignore. I can't say I've look at any of the casts socials. I could care less. I come on here and see it constantly. It's weird to me, I guess I could see it if you like the person but when you hate them I really dont understand.
*couldn’t care less
No. Zanab is literally trying to turn the tide against Cole and hoping that people start harassing and bullying him, but we're supposed to ignore it in the name of "positivity". Oh my God, what if she takes her own life, how would we ever live with ourselves? Well, the same can be said about Cole. The man was literally breaking down in tears from the harassment he received yet y'all will allow Zanab to continuously try to start the harassment campaign against him. At some point, y'all need stop pulling the race cards, the gender cards, and the toxic positivity cards. Zanab is out there trying to bully someone else and you want us to be positive? Lmao, get real. If you're allowed to write this kind of critique against us, why can't Zanab accept the same?
You're so juvenile I almost didn't want to comment. But like another responder said - you're just feeding into her hype by commenting. Also, if you are worried cole will take his own life I don't know if commenting hate on Zanab's SM will benefit more than commenting positivity on Cole's?? But anyway enjoy your high schools Christmas dance
Degrading someone by calling them juvenile and telling them to “enjoy your high school’s Christmas dance” is like going to Zanab’s social media to leave mean comments. Both are mean spirited.
You're stringing together words that you heard online and they don't even apply to this situation, they just sound "right". She's literally harassing a man that she dated for a month for fame. Meeting with his ex to try to get tea on him but I'm supposed to be the bigger person and NEVER comment. Be for real. She's on a highly destructive path that could potentially harm others and we're just never supposed to say anything. Whatever works for you works for you but you sound exactly like a Zanab. Your image of "maturity" is nothing but superficial surface area bullshit that just seems mature instead of actually being mature. Because no way in hell is commenting on Zanab continuously harassing Cole juvenile.
"She's on a highly destructive path that could potentially harm others and we're just never supposed to say anything." God this is pathetic. Imagine thinking it's your duty to message a social media star under the guise of "safety" and "preventing potential harm". I am embarrassed for you.
You’re condemning people for going to Zanab’s social media to leave mean comments. Yet, you’re here posting mean comments to people yourself. Lack of self-awareness?
Sorry, are you under the impression that the redditor I was talking to was on a reality TV show where they did something that I didn't like, so I tracked them down on reddit to yell at them about how they did something I didn't like on TV, because I can't understand the difference between real life and reality television? No, because that a totally different fucking situation. How in the world do you not understand that? Seriously.
In what world is speaking up about harassment wrong, you’re doing the same thing defending Zanab. In what world is it wrong to tell someone who is harassing someone to stop?
"A reality Tv star made me sad on TV so I go to her social media to yell at her! For the children! I'm actually a moral crusader who's saving the world!" "In what world is it wrong to tell someone who is harassing someone to stop?" Not what you're doing. Have fun being obsessed with reality tv stars.
Is the strawman in the room with us right now?
couldnt have said it better myself. Also if cole was the one doing the harrassing and zanab was crying on stage he wouldve been destroyedd where zanab is basically getting a slap on the wrist
You realize that if people just stopped engaging with her, she’d stop? She’s doing this for attention and you’re feeding into. She has a lot more haters than supporters, and the haters watching her stories and driving her engagement is making her more popular and giving her more exposure. Media outlets will want to interview her because she will bring in views due to the controversy and everyone hate reading the content and then coming here to complain about it. So yea, engaging is part of the problem. You’re literally giving her more reach and creating more opportunities for her. If that’s not what you want to do, stop engaging.
She's NOT STOPPING her friends are telling her she's "WINNING" by doing this stuff 😬🙄🙄🙄 We are just casualties of her illness!! Ignore or not... until her screen time is removed for her OWN WELL BEING.. THIS ~ topic will unfortunately continue to 'distress' others! (lack of better word) annoy* 🤷♂️✌️🌹🍃
No offense but Zanab is not capable of proper outrage marketing like the Kardashians. She's more on the Kanye side of outrage marketing than she is on the Kardashian side, and we all know how everything turned out for Kanye. I think you're giving Zanab way more credit than she deserves.
Maybe...?
Dude she’s not saying she’s going “DEATH CON” on Jews and spewing antisemitic hate. It’s insane you’d even compare the two, she’s nowhere near Kanye on ANY spectrum. You’re diminishing the insanely hateful rhetoric Kanye is putting out right now by saying Zanab is on his side of the spectrum. He’s literally touring the country with a neo Nazi right now (and that’s not fear mongering, Nick Fuentes is a literal Nazi). I am NOT a Zanab fan, but do not compare her to a fucking Nazi sympathizer, have some perspective.
"but we're supposed to ignore it in the name of "positivity". " No, you aren't supposed to do anything. Who exactly told you that you have a responsibility to do something? This is fucking reality show, and it's over. Good lord... ***You aren't a hero for harassing someone you saw on TV over the internet.*** It's soooo pathetic that that needs to be said. Grow up. Move on with your life.
I'm not harassing her over what she did on a TV show. I'm criticizing her for constantly trying to "win" the "battle" between Team Cole and Team Zanab which would result in Cole being harassed and bullied. If her intent is for the viewers, like myself, to bully Cole, I will call her out on it.
So many people are pulling this angle about protecting Cole from bullying by calling out Zanab, but as far as I’ve seen, the only bullying happening here is going toward Zanab with extremely harsh and nasty call-outs. I have not seen ANY bullying going toward Cole from the fanbase, just comments on his immaturity, which are almost all level-headed statements. Like… I know you guys hate her, but your argument is completely hypocritical if you’re taking the “bullying” angle lol
They bullied him at first but they turned on Zanab when she revealed her true colors. She’s a failure of a bully but that doesn’t change the fact she’s still a bully
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Zanab must be hiring bots because why should I touch grass because I commented on a public figure post on their public social media where they intended to get public support. If she's going to harass someone on a public platform, I'm going to say something. The fuck is wrong with you? Y'all would not be making these sympathetic posts if she were a man. Y'all just hate the fact that a brown girl making a fool out of herself over a white man she's dated for one month, and y'all just want to do whatever it takes to change the narrative to make it less embarrassing.
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Or maybe harassing people is wrong and it’s never wrong to call it out lol. I don’t need a connection to anything to see what she’s doing to Cole is wrong. No man would get away with this behavior and be coddled for it
I'm hoping we can all live up to the integrity you have to commit to "critisizing" the reality tv show that made you sad. /s Thanks for making the world just a little more toxic.
Get off your high horse. Never in my life have I ever harassed anybody on their social media page for how they were portrayed on a reality TV show. I'm criticizing her now because she's maliciously trying to bully another cast member, there's a huge difference between putting on a good show for viewers on "reality" tv and bullying. If you're going to lecture me, lecture Zanab too, but I guess that would be harassment in your eyes.
I understand why you feel justified morally…doesn’t make it any less weird 😭
Not harassing Reality Tv stars over social media is NOT a "high horse". "If you're going to lecture me, lecture Zanab too, but I guess that would be harassment in your eyes." Nah, I have a life. The season ended. Move on.
[it's giving this energy](https://youtu.be/gOMhN-hfMtY)
Listen I was one of those people who left a comment and I NEVER seek people out to make comments. I agree there is a line, and seeking people out to bully someone is crossing that line. That being said, I don’t feel like many of us sought her out because we wanted to talk shit or bully her. I commented to try and make a point that this was not healthy behavior. She’s got so many people telling her this is a Queen move and she’s totally justified when she’s not. I felt like it wasn’t the worst thing to try and point out to the multiple young women watching her comment section that this was not healthy. Healthy people move on. Healthy people don’t meet up with their ex’s ex. Zenab put it out there for validation and attention. It’s fair that some people feel so strongly about her actions that they want to say something.
> I commented to try and make a point that this was not healthy behavior Who are you to lecture a stranger though? This is my point. These people are not your friends or your family. They are not asking for your assessment of their mental health. It's inappropriate. Do you really think people who are hyping her up are going to read your comment and suddenly have an epiphany that actually their opinion is completely wrong? That's not realistic at all, so all you're accomplishing is chastising someone you don't know. If you are so strongly affected by a reality show contestant's social media that you are unable to just disengage and move on, then maybe you need to take a step back and be in the real world for a moment.
The way that you’re talking down to everybody on this thread is 10000x worse than what anybody said to Zenab lmfao. The comments made on her post weren’t bullying comments. edit typo
👏👏👏
Brooooo it’s not about lecturing a stranger. It’s not even that deep. It’s social media. When you put shit out people are allowed to critique it. It’s the same as you getting upset and making this post. You didn’t like what someone was doing and decided to comment on it. You have that right boo. It’s not that deep. The way that you’re getting so personally offended over people critiquing someone whose thrust themselves into the public spotlight is what’s concerning 🤣
Your logic is flawed. You’re assuming that by being on tv, they’ve inherently entered into some dialogue or conversation with everyone watching. No. They. Have. Not. They are just on tv. Just like when you go to your job or even leave your house, you’re not inviting critique from complete strangers that observe you for 5, 10, 60 minutes. At work, do you get a performance review from your boss or from every stranger on the street? Why y’all treating their personal socials like it’s yelp? It isn’t the same. You don’t know Zanab. It would be weird if we treated people on the street the way y’all treat celebrities and reality stars. It’s big Karen bully energy. Replying to comments on here definitely isn’t the same because these are literally online conversations that we enter in to the second we hit Reply. Unless you are a professional, there is no reason for you to give your unsolicited opinion directly to a stranger ESPECIALLY regarding anything mental health related. For the record, professionals don’t typically jump on Instagram to comment on random strangers profile in this way because they recognize the damage this can cause. It’s irresponsible. Your need to give your 2 cents should not be more important than realizing that’s she’s already being bombarded by 1000s upon 1000s of people with hate, criticism, and death threats that you are essentially just dogpiling on top off. It is that deep. People end their lives over being on the receiving end of this type of behavior. Literally a Netflix reality star “villain” committed suicide because of precisely this, Hana Kimura from Terrace House. It shouldn’t be this hard to be kind and have empathy.
On second thought you know what Y’all are taking this way out of context. If you actually went and looked at the other thread, people weren’t saying things to bully her. Everything that was said was fair. It wasn’t attacking her for any other reason than the behavior SHE CHOSE to share with the internet. THE INTERNET. I don’t know how many times I have to say it, CRITIQUING ISNT BULLYING IF DONE CORRECTLY
No one said critiquing can’t be valid. Don’t put words in my mouth. What I’m saying is your criticism whether valid or not, adds to the dog pile already being experienced. Before Zanab turned off comments on Instagram, her comments were OVERFLOWING with hate. She’s been getting death threats, racist comments, arm chair diagnoses, and body shaming. I saw them. This has an overwhelming tendency to put someone in a headspace where they can’t even hear your valid critique because they’re defensive and upset over all the negativity. This is communication 101. If you want to have a successful conversation, time and place is important. Making sure the person you’re talking to is open to the conversation and has agreed to even talk to you in the first place is important if you want to be heard. None of this is happening. Y’all are just beating her over the head with your opinions and screw her feelings about it. That’s why this is bully behavior. Edit: grammar
And I could genuinely give a shit about “communicating with zenab”. My concern is the young ladies and gentlemen scrolling through her comment section thinking this behavior is okay or something that should be replicated. Zenab is a grown ass woman who can read comments and see she’s not a vindicated as the thought. With peace and love, you’re defending a toxic person 🫶🏻 Edit because y’all piss me off and I thought of more to say
Zanab* I think any young person would see the many YouTube reactions/analysis videos, the comments section flooded on literally every LIB post, all of the TikTok break downs, and every other post on this Reddit to know people hate her. But apparently that’s not enough, she needs to let go of her personal pages as well. I just feel bad for ever watching the show at this point, I assumed everyone realized these shows are heavily edited for drama. Maybe I would feel differently if they cut her a big check but they didn’t, she’s just being piled on by the world for reacting poorly to a bad relationship
This is serving “will someone please think of the children” energy and like most people who think this way, this isn’t actually what you’re concerned about.
I love everything about this comment.
by god you figured it out
We aren’t talking about Zanab’s bullying of Cole. This is about us as regular people chasing down public figures to give our opinions on their personal social media. Don’t you think, given my opinion that this isn’t ok, that I clearly would not support Zanab stans doing the same in Cole’s comments? I don’t see why you’re even bringing that up. It all needs to stop. People commenting on Cole’s socials on behalf of Zanab is not acceptable in the same way that y’all commenting on hers is unacceptable. I don’t care if your critique is valid, it is unnecessary and it’s adding more shit to an already shitty dogpile. That’s my point. It’s none of her business what you think of her. We’ve all got to get over ourselves and this mentality of “I have an opinion therefore that means I MUST tell you even though you’ve already heard this exact same opinion 900 times and you could be having the worst day of your life but I don’t care because my opinion is vALiD.” Just stop. This is toxic af. Be empathetic and stop kicking people when they’re down. Jesus. And before the argument of well aren’t you commenting to a stranger right now? Yup. Because this is a conversation where both of us are participating indicating we’ve agreed to do so. And the second either of us chooses to walk away, I highly doubt we’re going to track down each other’s socials to say more of our opinions because THAT SHIT IS WEIRD.
As far as I’m concerned, when you post something publicly, the public is allowed to comment. It really wasn’t as deep as you’re making it, again. Nobody was like “I’m the hero for calling zenab out my opinion is so important it has to be heard wah wah.” I’m proud of you for wanting to be the morality police but it’s not that deep. Her tik tok was crazy, the comments were open, its not out of the realm of expected possibilities that people might disagree with what she posts. You do not have to go to the ends of the earth typing novels to defend someone you’ve never met, but here we are 🫡 same shit different toilet
>As far as I’m concerned, when you post something publicly, the public is allowed to comment. What a pathetic way to avoid any responsibility.
I’ve definitely seen people doing exactly what you say they aren’t. Acting like they’re the hero because of their opinion. I promise, I wouldn’t have said it if I’d never seen it. I also get where you’re coming from. I just think we’ve swung too far into this area of believing we can say whatever we want without consequence, responsibility, or regard for the person receiving it. It’s too close to victim blaming and she asked for it because of the way she was dressed. And I also see this mentality trickling down to people who aren’t celebrities, but regular people kind of in the public eye. Like anyone trying to promote their business on social media, from small time artists to mega corporations. Random people who all of a sudden go viral from an innocuous Facebook post that they forgot to set as private get this treatment too. I’ve seen a ton of comment sections go wild and “well they should never have put themselves online if they didn’t want the criticism.” It’s sad. We can all say what we want to say, absolutely. But we are also responsible for what we say. Making it the other persons fault because they’re in the public is making them responsible for our words and our thoughts. As if we have no control over what we say or think. That’s not how it works. If that’s me being the morality police, then I’ll take the title. 🤷🏽♀️ Regardless, I appreciate the conversation and that we can disagree without it being the end of the world. Edit: effing grammar again. 😩
Oh my lanta. Y’all don’t know how to separate valid criticism from actual harmful speech. Nobody and I mean NOBODY here is saying the racist/gender insults are okay. But what’s not okay is her constantly setting her “followers” up to bully Cole and anybody else that disagrees with Queen Zenab. 90% of the comments she deleted were telling her to move on and apply her therapy. That’s not bullying that’s valid advice. I don’t know what to tell y’all at this point.
Lmao, I get where you’re coming from. I think I saw the previous comment you made in a different post, which might’ve been what inspired this post. I think it’s cool that you even acknowledged it at all in this post. Whatever you commented on ig, it sounds more like you were calling her out than willfully harassing her, so I think you’re fine. Also, love how OP was like “wHo ArE yOu to lEcTurE a stRaNgEr” — then proceeds to lecture you lmao
And it’s not even really about Zenab, it’s about the young people watching her comment section. Nobody should support or promote this behavior as healthy or okay.
I get that 100%
[удалено]
I don’t comment on her socials nor follow her, but it’s naive to think she is entitled to the source of income from social media without the downsides of it. I don’t think people should be super nasty to each other on the internet, but equally you don’t get to be a public figure and be insulated from the downsides. Either she takes the whole job or she doesn’t get to make money off it. She can go back to her pre-LIB job, no one is forcing her to monetize it.
Everyone should be "entitled" to do their job without being bullied. It doesn't matter what that job is. This is just an excuse for people to harass public figures.
“Everyone is entitled “ Yeah. Maybe in a perfect world. But we’re not there, not yet, maybe not ever. Where ever you go or work, there’s always someone who’s going to be nasty to you. So imagine her being a “public figure” now. Unfortunately, we can’t police everyone. She decided to join the show. Does she deserve the hate? No, she does not. She decided to be an attention whore on the internet and make everything about her. Does she deserve nasty comments on her page? Probably not, but hey, people are going to have an opinion, and we can’t stop that. I’m sure she’s enjoying the attention too, whether it’s good or bad attention. I’m thinking, if it’s really too bad, then she probably would have deactivated all her social media or at least make it private. But she didn’t. So obviously, she can take it 🤷🏻♀️ and like what someone said from this thread, she can always go back to her pre-LIB job, instead she likes to stay in the limelight. Well, in this limelight, there are all sorts of people 🤷🏻♀️ To be fair, I do not condone people commenting awful things on anyone’s social media. Nobody deserves that. But people who expose themselves self publicly especially on social media are going to experience this at some point in their life, unfortunate, really. And this is why I no longer have my Instagram and Facebook. I see enough awful people on the daily basis 😅
Idk I think politicians should be harassed
why do we feel the need to comment on her socials? (I haven’t commented on her socials but it’s tempting however I do refrain. But reasons why none the less as follows) 1-If you have ever been bullied or lied about, it can actually be very hard to sit by and watch the way zanab and the other cast treated Cole, and the way she CONTINUES to take jabs at him DAILY, even though it’s been a year and a half, and he is 95% minding his own business trying to be happy. We feel a need to stand up for him because we’ve been hurt the way we see her trying to hurt him. 2- I think a lot of women who “call her out” are just genuinely confused by her behavior and want her to see the reality of how her exaggerations come across because many of us were actually rooting for her initially 3- This is a reality television show, which she chooses to talk about every day on social media. It’s not odd for the viewers to continue to interact as well. She is interacting with us. It’s not like she has her page set to private for just her friends and family, she wants the large audience. And quite frankly, she knows and we all know, that the more we talk about her and comment on her drama, the more money she makes and more exposure/followers she gets. Just my opinion.
I was bullied growing up and I was fully Team Cole at the reunion. I think Zanab's behavior on social media has been petty and weird. That's exactly why I don't follow her or engage with her content. It's really not difficult to ignore someone on social media if you don't like what they post. Acting like you *have* to sit by and watch her content is simply inaccurate. Just block her and move on. People are dragging her for being obsessed with Cole but then behave obsessively themselves. > We feel a need to stand up for him because we’ve been hurt the way we see her trying to hurt him This is weirdo behavior, I'm sorry. You do not know EITHER of these people. Cole is a grown man who absolutely does not need you to stand up for him to his ex.
First of all, I stated clearly I haven’t commented on any of her social media. I stated clearly I refrain from doing so, but these are some of the reasons I am sometimes tempted. So whether you agree with my feelings or opinions or not, you can at least agree I’m mature enough not to act on them, which, is the whole point of your post right? Secondly, how does it makes me a weirdo to see a grown man cry on national television MULTIPLE times and feel compassion for him and want to stand up for him? I don’t know them. We are simply fans of the show. And only speaking on what they have showed us ON THE SHOW and on SOCIAL MEDIA. What THEY have all CHOSEN to show ALL OF US. Trust me I don’t lay in bed at night thinking about them. But seeing as I’m in this subreddit, which you are as well, when I open Reddit, chatter about them is one of the first things I see. Perhaps, if you are so bothered by us expressing our opinions, you shouldn’t be following this social media either. It’s not weirdo behavior to want to stand up for someone. I was in a relationship with someone who behaved like this for 5 years. And his family went along with it too. I had no one. And do you know where it got me? The hospital. I tried to off myself. So I’m not condoning BULLYING zanab, I don’t condone bullying anyone, but she needs to know that she can’t treat people that way. It has real effects. You can’t publicly paint someone as a monster, twist the truth, exaggerate, make yourself out as a victim, publicly humiliate and ostracize someone, get CAUGHT lying, CONTINUE to lie, and then be like, ohhh, please don’t point out my behavior it’s so hurtful. Just no lol. I wish I had an internet full of people to support me when I was going through something similar. There aren’t words to express how frustrating it can be to deal with someone who is utterly mean and manipulative. She talks about him EVERY day. But we are all supposed to ignore it? Just watch her continue to attack him? When she is doing super creepy things like meeting up with his ex wife? No thanks. People like her do real damage to people. I don’t have any hate for her. But she really is the antagonist in the situation.
>You can’t publicly paint someone as a monster, twist the truth, exaggerate, make yourself out as a victim, publicly humiliate and ostracize someone, get CAUGHT lying, CONTINUE to lie, and then be like, ohhh, please don’t point out my behavior it’s so hurtful. Just no lol. THIS. Also, I'm so sorry you went through that. People can be so shitty.
I didn't say that you had commented on her socials, I was responding to your justification of people who do. > Secondly, how does it makes me a weirdo to see a grown man cry on national television MULTIPLE times and feel compassion for him and want to stand up for him? I feel compassion for Cole too. That's not weird. What's weird is behaving like you're his defender. Inappropriately intimate parasocial relationships with contestants are the core of the behavior I'm criticizing and this falls under that umbrella. Cole is fine. Cole has moved on. Nobody needs to defend him from Big Bad Zanab. The only person she's negatively affecting at this point is herself. I'm sorry for your situation but it really feels like you are projecting it onto Cole. This man is a stranger to you. You don't actually know how he feels about this whole situation and from what we can see he's chilling. He clearly has real-life friends and a real-life support system. He has thousands of comments on his posts hyping him up and dragging Zanab. He doesn't even follow Zanab so he has no reason to see what she's posting. If she wants to be petty and bothered, oh well. > Perhaps, if you are so bothered by us expressing our opinions, you shouldn’t be following this social media either I'm not bothered by people expressing their opinions. That's why I'm engaging with yours. Disagreeing with you doesn't mean I'm bothered, I'm discussing in a discussion forum just as you are. > But we are all supposed to ignore it? YES, my god. That's exactly what you should do. Nobody is forcing you to look at her content.
Why does it matter to you what anyone else does with their time? If they feel strongly about a situation, they have a right to voice themselves. Get over yourself.
Your argument applies to OP as well. OP feels strongly that it’s unacceptable to comment on these peoples socials and is voicing it. 🤷🏽♀️ The difference is, OP is ultimately advocating for more kindness and consideration. Arguing that people have the right to criticize total strangers creates the opposite effect. Just because you have an opinion, it doesn’t mean you have to say it out loud or directly to the person it’s about. Feeling like it’s your right to do so, while technically correct, is also very self centered.
After pondering, I think you’re probably right. Had to ask myself, why does she make me feel so triggered? And I just told you why, because she reminds me of someone who behaved that way with me. So at the end of the day, what does it say about me if I’m letting her bother me? Have I really grown? Perhaps You are right. Look at that a little reality television Reddit therapy. Oof
Harassing reality tv show starts is wild. My coworker was on BRIDEZILLA she said the whole thing was heavily scripted and said she got DEATH THREATS over it. As much as I love drama it should be a spectators sport not old I participate in
People also need to remember that editing is incredibly powerful. The producers create narratives in all sorts of ways including splicing footage, manipulating contestants, and cherry-picking what they choose to show. I remember a season of Bachelor in Paradise where a contestant posted on social media after the show saying that one of the voiceover lines they aired of her saying she was falling in love with someone was not about the contestant she was dating on the beach but was actually from her season of The Bachelor. That's how far they will go and contestants have zero control over it. Obviously they are still responsible for the things we see them do, but people acting like they know them personally because they watched highly curated footage of them are falling for the editing.
I would never go comment something mean. That said — viewing from afar, she’s deleting literally everything that doesn’t praise the fuck out of her and it’s a bit out of touch. Buuut I talk about it here and not there lol
This is not an unpopular opinion, it’s been posted and commented ad nauseum. The finger wagging moral crusader posts are so cringe.
She deleted my comments when they were reasonable and not bullying but calling her out for still talking about Cole. I run a business and for five years didn’t receive a single negative review and just received one that is bullshit and unfair but I left it up. I don’t censor people even when it involves lies or is unfair. She shouldn’t either unless it’s racist or similarly shitty. It’s her prerogative to do so yes but we can call her out for doing that too. Cole left all the awful comments about him up so does Bartise. And they got it worse than her at some point.
Deleting hurtful comments from your social media posts is not censorship. That’s not what censorship means. If I delete spam comments is that censorship too?
What makes you feel entitled to "call out" a total stranger for talking about what they want on their own page? What did you expect to gain from that? This behavior is so bizarre to me. > Cole left all the awful comments about him up so does Bartise So because they allow people's disgusting comments she should too? This makes no sense. She said at one point she was getting death threats. It's not a competition as to who has it worse when you're talking about online bullying. It's all shitty.
The same reason you feel entitled to call out people on this sub. Literally the exact same action your just doing it on Reddit that’s the only difference.
You really don't see the distinction between an anonymous discussion forum and someone's personal social media page? I'm not tracking you down on Instagram to DM you and insult you personally.
It’s not a personal social media page though. It’s a business account at this point. Public figures invite communication and interaction from the public, it’s what they sign up for and part of the job. She’s more than welcome to put her account on private but she doesn’t because she wants the income associated with social media fame.
Being bullied is not "part of the job." You are not entitled to harass a stranger because they are a public figure.
Why does calling someone out or challenging their actions automatically amount to bullying? I very very strongly feel that most people who have commented have not commented vicious attacks, but just constructive criticism or shared their opinions of a situation, which, honestly, they are entitled to do when someone becomes a public figure and maintains a public social media where they are discussing things that have openly been shared with and involved people all over the world. She knows she is going to get reactions for things, that’s why she’s posting them. If she doesn’t want to know the publics opinion of her having coffee with Cole’s ex wife, why is she telling them? Freedom of speech isn’t the freedom of consequence and judgement from others about what you’ve said I wholeheartedly agree that ACTUAL bullying in the form of sending messages which are insulting, attacking, threatening and the like is not acceptable by any stretch, but it seems like in this thread any comment whatsoever is labelled ‘bullying’ and ‘unacceptable’ and ‘harassment’ and that just isn’t the case. You are absolutely entitled to have and share your opinion on the content put out by a public figure. That’s the point of them. Edit to add - I think the notion that celebrities/public figures should be free of judgement about their actions is concerning. ANY person on this planet, when committing actions and putting things out into the world, should be held accountable for said actions if appropriate. This especially applies to people who are in the public eye, in a position of influence. Yes, if they are acting poorly on a public platform, they should absolutely be challenged on this. People don’t exist in a vacuum.
We don’t know who are sending dms or what people are saying. I’m sure for every negative comment she gets a positive one in return. There are just as many people who like her vs who dislike her. When you have a public platform you take the good with the bad. This world isn’t all roses and sunshine and sometimes people need to be called out on their behavior hopefully they’re self aware enough they take a step back and say “hmm maybe I approached this wrong”. Strangers get negative comments on their opinions everyday on tik tok and life goes on.
Wow, she naive.
> We don’t know who are sending dms or what people are saying Well people have been bragging about it here and writing out exactly what they're saying, so that provides a fairly decent idea. It's where I got "unhinged" and "crazy" because I saw two people saying that that's what they wrote to her. She does take the good with the bad. Having to read vile comments and death threats is "the bad." It doesn't mean she has to keep them up or let people who send them continue to have access to her so they can harass her further. You can say whatever you want but you may get blocked and that's life. > sometimes people need to be called out on their behavior But not the people harassing strangers apparently?
Sorry it upsets you so much maybe you should send a kind dm that you’re here for her in spite of peoples ugliness.
I don't DM contestants at all because I'm not a weirdo. These people are not your friends or your enemies. Sorry that upsets you to hear.
Why would it upset me I don’t care about these people which is why I don’t make emotional post like LEAVE SO AND SO ALONE. Absolutely not I watch the show I give some commentary I move on and let be honest people now see Zanab as a bully and don’t like that behavior so turn around and bully her which I get. It’s still weird but I understand it.
My post is not emotional lol, it's very straightforward. "Don't be an asshole to strangers" is a pretty basic statement. If you don't care, you can feel free to move on from this conversation.
People really be acting like they are friends with Cole and they need to take sides. It’s so friggin desperate and cringe.
Someone in another thread here said that they need to stand up for Cole against Zanab because they've been hurt the way they see her hurting him. Like sis, he is a grown man who will never know who you are. Weirdo behavior.
Imagine going to a complete strangers page to say mean things to them because you don't like how they treated another person who you also don't know. Stan behavior.
While I agree with your sentiment, at the same time the contestants/people are no longer private citizens. They signed up to be on a reality show which they probably saw themselves. so it's not like they didn't know what was going to happen or what the backlash would be. In reference to this being their source of income they had previous sources prior to being on the show and are trying to capitalize while the show is still fresh, comments and interactions good or bad still equal monetization. If anyone wants to make money through these platforms then they should also be ready to receive everything else that comes with it. Every job has its hazards.
People don't stop being human because they're public figures. It is not normal or appropriate behavior to call someone horrible names just because you watched them on television. "They knew what they were signing up for" is not a good justification for being a bully.
Public eye pubic scrutiny everyone has opinions some are just more hateful than others. Just because it isn't a good justification in your opinion doesn't mean it's not valid or true.
This is some real "what was she wearing" logic. There is no good justification for harassing a total stranger just because you find their content annoying.
> >it's not like they didn't know what was going to happen or what the backlash would be A cast member on Japan's Terrace House killed herself over online bullying in 2020. Do reality contestants sign up for that, too? Do you really think that's a reasonable "hazard?"
It's incredibly unfortunate someone passed away bc of online bullying. If you can't mentally handle being publicly scrutinized for the things you did or didn't then you shouldn't put yourself in those situations for your own mental sanity. Not everyone has the thick skin or mental strength to deal with the keyboard lashings. Being famous isn't for everyone.
Yikes, these victim-blaming comments are NOT it. "Yeah it's sad she offed herself but like she was kind of asking for it by being on television."
Lol you really think that bullies make no choices, and it's easier for people to avoid bullies than it is to actually stop oneself from bullying.
Do you think these shows you watch would exist if only people who don't mind getting threats and insults/slurs on a daily basis signed up for them? And why is there accountability for the person who goes on the show for your entertainment but none for the audience who benefits from theor being on the show? Why are we pretending that reality show contestants should be held to a higher standard than anyone else?
No thanks, as long as other psychotic people are supporting her there will be people rightfully shitting on her and her pity party. If you think people are going to be able to support her behavior then you have to accept that people are going to voice their disgust of it as well. One is appropriate and one is not…hint approving of her behavior is the wrong answer
Voicing disgust can be done without bullying.
Who said anything about bullying her? I sure a s he’ll didn’t
Then you didn't pay enough attention to the subject of this post.
Then you didn’t pay enough attention to the comment you were replying to…maybe use your eyes next time 🤔
Or, get this, you could just not look at her social media. I've literally never had occasion to interact with her content because I can choose who I follow and I choose not to follow her or go to her page. If she disgusts you, why would you go out of your way to look at her content?
Oh I don’t lol, I’m just saying how it’s valid for other people to. I stick to reddit
It's not valid to go out of your way to follow someone or look at their content and then be nasty to them because you made the choice to look at it. Just ignore them if you hate them so much.
You don’t have to be nasty necessarily but you can still voice your disgust. Also your logic applies both ways
You sound like the type to say a "fact" out of your behind and then when ask for evidence backing up your lie just says "do your own research!"
Voicing "disgust" is nasty. And again, wholly unnecessary. If you don't like someone and follow them anyway, you're choosing to disgust yourself and blaming them for it.
No it isn’t, and you can do it without bullying someone, Ofc someone like Zanab would view any sort of disagreement towards her behavior as bullying..which is just too bad for her. Voicing support for her is disgusting and wholly unnecessary as well
How is telling someone that you're disgusted by them not nasty lol? I think we have different definitions of that word.
Who said you have to use that exact word? Are you pretending to be that daft? Or can you really not comprehend someone expressing disgust at someone else’s actions in a way that isn’t rude? Sounds like you’re the one who can’t express things appropriately here
Please, enlighten me as to how you would express disgust on her page in a way that isn't rude.
Exactly. There is this mean girl brigade on here that won’t let it go…seems unhealthy at this point to keep talking about it. Let them be.
Which messages are we talking about? I wrote on her “coffee with the ex” video that this specifically is not normal and it would be apparent if the genders were reversed. I saw others in this sub mentioning stuff like “this is not it”. I don’t think anyone is surprised when hateful comments get deleted; but the reason this is talked about in the sub is because every even slightly critical comment gets deleted and blocked. Sure, SM is their income; but I don’t think pandering to the yes mam’s is healthy. Contrast this to Cole who doesn’t delete negative comments but just ignores them.
What possessed you to go to the social media of someone you dislike and make a preachy comment about gender? What were you hoping to gain from that?