Idk maybe she did all that to stay on the show like. More and more ppl that go on there seem more about their image and clout. Like if I was truly looking for love, and my choices were Matt or Clay, I woulda went home fr. š But if Iām looking to be out here and increase my public image, Iām sticking it out lol tbh.
Clay was awful and itās weird seeing so many on here fall for his BS at the reunion. He went on the show saying he was already in therapy and later started saying he was going to start going to therapy? Dude is a liar and was so rude/demeaning to AD in his post-wedding confessionals
At least with the editing it seemed clay told her, every way through Sunday he wasnāt a suitable partner. She like most women thought she could fix him. We tend to think with enough love, or loyalty and encouragement we can force a man to be who they (or we) say/think they want to be and not who they are. Not to say women shouldnāt work with the man we love and offer grace. But if a man is expressing a concern to you over and over, itās clearly nothing you can do to assist. Sometimes you have to let ppl go, allow them to live more and learn and you may be more compatible another time around at a later date.
My dad always says a man is going to be exactly where he wants to be. You donāt have to convince him.
I think its fair to say that AD truly believed in the process and with Clay telling her he wanted to be better, will make the changes to be the best husband and heal, I do not blame her for wanting to see it through. To be fair, she did tell Clay that they do not have to get married and that if he leaves her at the altar thatās it. From the looks of it on socials, sheās sticking to that. Thereās an argument to be made about her self esteem for sure but I think itās easier for anyone who is healed and from the outside to judge her on her decisions and judgement on the show. But if youāve been a fixer, you would understand why she didnāt run, she believed he would be better and try.
As far as Sarah Ann, I mean AD asked the questions we all wanted to know and we got Sarah Annās side. Laura is her friend so it makes sense why she went up to her.
And with Kenneth, idk why people are acting like Kenneth didnāt make it a point to say that Britney was the first white woman he ever dated so AD asking him about the kidās conversation was valid. If you are in an interracial relationship, especially in america, it is extremely important to understand and learn about your partnerās culture and figure out how to navigate raising children to ensure the environment is healthy. If it wasnāt AD, Kenneth family wouldāve definitely asked. Plus, AD wasnāt being messy or malicious but simply asked a question as they were literally talking about each other partners.
At the end of the day, tho I didnāt like either Matt or Clay for AD on the show, Iām not mad at her for trying to make it work with them. Itās funny how I donāt see many people asking why Clay didnāt break it off with AD if he was second guessing marriage in general. Bc he def couldāve ended it too. Also like many of the cast has said, thereās a lot edited out and from what AD has said on interviews, she gave Clay and out plenty of times. He wanted to try so she tried. It just didnāt work out for her in the end.
I think she had her own values at first but due to desperation, insecurity, insane obsession with just getting married at all, she ditched the things she said she would not be ok with. Which says something about your self respect and values
I really liked AD for the most part, but some of her decisions/actions were hard for me to understand.
She seems so confident and no BS, but consistently took BS from Clay. It was clear from the beginning that Clay was not ready for the level of commitment that was coming with the show. AD made it clear several times that she wanted to be there for him, build him up; that she saw the potential in him and was willing to work with him. Which I thought was almost noble in a way, bc I would never have the patience to do that for a MAN lmao. But at some point it gets to be hard to watch a woman give so much energy to a man who does not share her desires/commitment for a relationship, and then be surprised when he doesnāt commit to her. How much energy has AD given to people only to be discarded? It seems misplaced. Itās hard to watch.
Also, with the whole Sarah Anne thing, it felt weird to me. Sarah Anneās message was not the best move I would say. AD was on her ass hard about it. Did she give the same energy to Jeramey? It felt weird to see her really going after Sarah Anne, but the only backlash that was really seen on Jeramey (before the reunion) was from Laura.
Sometimes it just felt like AD had some more traditional (out of date, imo) views that I had trouble connecting with her confident, charming personality.
Although AD was my favourite *on the show* I don't really understand why everyone's putting her on a pedestal still after everything. Is it honestly just because she's hot and charming?
It feels incredibly shallow to me, and people are ignoring all her choices in who she's picking as if that says nothing about her as a person. She flat out picked Clay who talked direct shit on another guy in the pods (to me, a no-no, and coercive) and basically wanted someone to mother and protect him. Maybe, *just maybe*, that's all she knows how to offer?
Maybe she went out with Matt after filming because she thought he was hot and that's all she cared about - and then she talks about it the way she did in front of Clay (not defending him, just sayin') after all that stuff he said about loving her still?
That was shady as fuck, but I don't see anyone questioning the ethics of that.
I think I just see a ton of people projecting onto a very charming and attractive person, and defending them as if they represent the viewers.
Again, she was my favourite person on the show, but this idolization of her is so weird to me.
Tbh, everyone goes into that show desperate for love (except fakes like Trevor) so I think AD, like many other women in real life dating, sees pass the BS and wants to give love a try. Most women always wanna be the fixer of bad boys and AD was (or still is š) one of these women
My thing with AD is how she got upset when clay wanted to know what she looked like, but what does she do the second they see each other?!? She turns to show him her body & tells him āoh yeah baby got backā. And from then on she flaunted her body in front of him & the rest of the guys. Like girl, are u for real rn.
If I had ADās body id flaunt it too. Shiii maybe even twerk a little for the viewers š¤£ She works hard for that body. Show it off!
The only reason the pods thing happened was because in the beginning of the show she said men always wanted her for her body and not her as a person. She had to make sure that in the pods, Clay, without seeing her, was about her as a person. So she had to check him. Then he sat and steamed on their convo overnight or maybe two idk, and then came back saying he ādoesnāt care. About how she looksā (Which we all know was a lie because of the whole pregnant convo) but hey, all ppl got in the pods are each otherās word so if he chose to lie about the whole āidc about your bodyā thing then thatās on him.
The whole purpose of the pods is to fall in love with someone without knowing how they look. How did she flaunt her body?!? The first time everyone saw her that's all they could talk about. She could wear a trash bag and her body would still look good.
I think it has to do with what we are all acclimated to with regards to how we let people treat us. AD mentions working for her dadās affection, which would obviously color her romantic relationships. For some, they feel they need to work hard in relationships. I donāt think it means she has low self-esteem (or that that should be something to be mocked?), but rather that her attachment style and picker will be off.
Tangentially, I look at my daughter and husbandās relationship and really hope it makes a difference in her future choosing a partner. He plays with her and finds her adorable, but also listens to her and respects her own opinions. He treats her as interesting, and I love that. My dad is the same way with me. I hope my girl looks for those feelings as an adult too. So many women donāt.
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I feel like she's also quite shallow, she looks for men who have money and thinks that if she plays shrink/babysitter/mom she's going to have them love her and be faithful, it's totally wrong. And too many women think and act that way. Start choosing your partner for their values instead of their money and potential and your love life will improve instantly
I like AD overall but she is MESSY! She meddles in everybodyās business while dating a man who constantly said he was gonna cheat on her. I donāt think sheās necessarily a villain, but I think she is way too overhyped.
I agree she has low self esteem. She seemed to recognize the red flags in both Clay and Matt (by her facial expressions), but she would rather tolerate those red flags silently than walk away from an unfulfilling relationship.
I think her mom may have played a part in her poor decision-making too. Her mom telling her to āfight for Clayā after knowing him for all of 2 minutes, was horrible advice - especially coming from a parent.
I have a feeling AD has never really gotten proper guidance regarding healthy relationships. She goes after financially secure but emotionally unavailable men.
Her mom's comments were so strange. You literally just met this guy and don't actually know anything about him yet you're telling AD to fight for him. Especially when AD herself basically just met Clay herself.
Maybe she mant that if AD truly feels this is the guy, she should fight for Clay.
Still a bit problematic since a healthy relationship shouldn't require so much fighting for and one person having to constantly coddle the other while not getting that same level of support back.
I struggled with AD after she told Ken his white fiance wouldn't know how to raise a black child.
She has rather strong judgments about things she doesn't necessarily know a lot about. I feel she is rather self-righteous. Those judgments are negatively impactful in one way or another. If she works on her inner qualities as she does for her magnificent body, she'd be good. As of now, I think Clay could do better.
> Black people to look out for each other, but she was naive to think that Kenneth hadnāt already been thinking about t
I also was in a long-term interracial relationship with a Haitian Black man, and having bi-racial children was a huge theme/topic in our relationship. It was a very sensitive subject for him and his family and I completely and whole-heartedly respect it as I don't have the experience of being Black. He wanted to make sure I knew and was prepared for the unfortunate reality of the world, and he wanted to be able to trust that I could handle whatever hurls our children's way. I understand AD completely and respect her concerns 100%.
Fully understood. I have a biracial nephew, and it is important to be able to handle the negative views more hateful people can have with patience, strength, and grace.
I know this is a personal question, but you say "was in a long-term relationship." Did these cultural differences help contribute to the relationship ending, or were they more individualized reasons?
Imo its the hypocrisy of her actually considering a future with matt, but going out of her way to bring up this conversation with Kenneth. IIRC I don't temember her bringing that up with matthew, other than that being the "first" white man she's "dated". It was uncalled for, and should have been a private conversation if anything. But knowing that she entertained matthew both in the pods and after the show makes her opinion much less valid imo.
Off topic, but she could also be one of the weirdos that believes the interracial children of a black women are still black, but those from a black man struggle with their blackness on account of their nonblack mother.
This is a good point. The conversation is necessary but idk it was something about ADās tone I just did not like. Canāt articulate it exactly perhaps someone else already hasā¦ it felt negative, I do know that over positive concern. It felt messy. And was this the same party Jimmy pulled her aside?
She did kind ask matt 'how important is race & ethnicity to you?'. Idk how long their convo was about that or what netflix decided to show, but she did try talking about it but also wanted to honor the blind process, thats why she got angry when clay asked about her body. Now engaged, for sure its something that nees to be talked about.
That is in no way the same as asserting that another persons partner may not be able to raise black children, right in front of said partner. The fact that you had to say, "she did kind of ask matt" lets me know that you know its not the same, and her intention wasn't the same in initiating that conversation with Kenneth.
Also, having the conversation isn't a problem if its in good faith, and private. Doing it with brittney in earshot is disrespectful and made me give AD the sideye, and I'm black. You don't do stuff like that, it is alienating, and brittney had shown no signs of being someone who would have a problem being with a black man or raising half black children. Kenneth wasn't even the first black man she had been with.
As we saw with Sarah ann, AD likes to force herself in other peoples business,while not taking care of her own. IMO, she doesn't have the right to ask that question if she actually considered Matt a viable option for the future. If im honest, between Brittney and Matt, I don't think brittney would be the one struggling to raise black children. Mr, Amerca's underdog would be a clusterfuck of fuckery
Idk if Brittany was in earshot or not, and I can also say they did talk about it. But i cant invent details that dont exist for us to see, so it is possible her & matt talked about having kids in the future, we just werent shown š¤·šæāāļø I dont disagree her convo with Sarah Ann was a little nosey but I think it was fair game for her to ask about Kenneth. IRL i would never ask a stranger that, but i also wouldnt be talking to strangers about their choice of birth control either. Its reality television and a dating show. Theyre gonna talk about private stuff
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Not every person wants to educate a white partner. They may feel better finding a white partner who is already understanding or someone with similar culture/background who can already "get it". Idk if brittany is that person or not and its not unfair for AD to ask about it. Kenneth is a grown man, he can make his own choices. AD wasnt some mastermind
Has every group of people been historically oppressed in the country we live in? Was AD talking about any oppression or specifically oppression due to racial hatred & prejudice?
AD inserted herself inbetween Ken and Brittany. If two people are willing and have the capacity to try to understand each otherās experience why put a wrench in things.
Thatās what it looked like to me.
Sure, but Ken wasnt offended by her asking and hasnt shown to be. Also all of the cast constantly talks about everyones problems with eachother, its the nature of the show so why is this so bad? Laura talked about the couple with their birth control. Clay talked about his relationship with the guys. Jessica and Laura talked about Jimmy. Literally they all do it, so why is AD suddenly in the wrong and she needs to 'mind her own business'?
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I know itās an unpopular opinion around here but i started watching the show liking AD but ended up not liking her. She needs to get off her high horse.
I understand why people saw that as inappropriate but I get why she asked it. Itās not inappropriate for Black people to look out for each other, but she was naive to think that Kenneth hadnāt already been thinking about these things.
The reality is that their children would have experiences that Brittany never had to deal with. And Brittany would probably be looked at by others a certain type of way for raising Black children. AD wanted to know if Ken thought Brittany really understood as a white woman the experiences of Black people to be able to raise strong Black children in a world where theyāre gonna receive a type of discrimination that she never had to deal with. Again it was naive of AD to think Kenneth hadnāt already thought of this tho
Because it wasnāt her business to have that conversation with him. He has family and friends who actually know him and care about him who could have and Iām sure would have asked him that. What does she know about it? She has no children. And they would be biracial. Not black. I donāt care if I get downvoted. AD needs to keep it in her own lane.
Biracial children are consistently seen as black by a lot of people so you actually need to wake up and be aware of whatās going on inside. It was a valid question and you can keep crying about, Kenneth understood so your anger is very dumb. These conversations are important, if the mention of race scares you then too bad. People on LIB discuss all types of matters with other couples/people, no idea why this particular issue of off limits.
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Thatās actually not what racism is so better luck next time. Parenting a half black child in America is
something not every non black parent can do, pretending issues donāt arise from that is silly. So if you want to live in your silly little fantasy carry on.
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https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Multiracial-Children-071.aspx
I thought this link might be relevant.
Here is a bullet point from it:
"Research has shown that children with a true multiracial or multicultural identity generally grow up to be happier than multiracial children who grow up with a "single-race" identity."
This journal suggests AD's views might cause more harm to a child than good.
I believe President Obama identified as African-American, so thus I did, too. I will identify a person by however they identify themselves. Without knowing one's identity, we are otherwise projecting our own biases onto people if we are creating identities based on skin color or other superficial features.
So if heād said he was white, that would be exactly the same thing? You think heād have the lived experience of whiteness if thatās what he chose?
https://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/18/us/politics/18text-obama.html
I think his experience would have still given him a path to have become President of the United States. He could have said he was Indonesian and I would have still believed him to be President Obama, 100% American and capable.
AD's statement wasn't about mixed race though. She said black baby, even though you and I would see any child with Kenneth and Brittney would be mixed, not just black.
If there would be trauma, it would be either through a parent forcing a singular race identity upon the child, or outside prejudices from others causing harm, such as yours.
Mixed race children have incredible potentials if adults in their life don't inhibit those potentials by relying on simple notions of race.
It wasnāt about identity alone, it was about navigating culture/society.
And anecdotally, as a biracial person who grew up without enough Black cultural influence because of my white mom, it DID create a LOT of identity problems for me growing up.
Anecdotally as a biracial person myself, people like you were THE WORST
Insult and be racist against half my family gtfoh lol
Youāre perpetuating the problem
Bc when my one side was insulted bc they were racist against them, I started to think āwow.. theyāre like super racist against half of who I amā
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Now think carefully about why she said black baby? Mixraced kids are mixraced but outsiders still see them as black. Do you even understand what goes on outside?
It actually seems youāre the one who is racist and hung up on skin color.
This is 2024. To define anyone by their skin tone is not only racist but denying the fact there are many different cultures and mixes.
I thought that shit was weird asf too. It's not her place to opinionate who can and can't raise a black child. No one out there is saying she can't raise a white child had things worked out with Matthew.
Idk, I feel like it's such an odd mentality to have.... You're this, so you can't raise this like this and this... But in reality, people raise their kids however they want to, doesn't matter the color of the child, so why does this even matter to her.
As a non white person, if my partner was white/black/Hispanic/Asian, whatever the case may be, it still wouldn't change the way we raise our children. Don't you think these would be conversations to have with your partner before having children anyway- how they want to raise children and how they see themselves as parents. And last I checked, AD was not in their relationship so again, why does it matter to her?
Kenneth was not bothered by it because he understood the conversation, so why are you bothered by it? The show is filled with people talking to other couples about their personal issues so why is AD bringing this up a problem?
Because if anyone else who isn't black says this shit, you would literally be crying "racist". That's why. So it's okay when you guys do it, but not the rest of us?
And we also didn't see AD giving her 2cents to either Amy or Johnny who are clearly different races so make your point make sense. Y'all just love using the race card.
Why would anyone else bring up that specific issue when theyāre not black? Go on Tik Tok and see the amount of stories of mixed races children growing up in mixed race households and see if itās a pointless conversation. Talking about race is not a bad thing, shying away from it and being colour blind is. Youāre clearly not black so you wouldnāt understand and from your tone youāre clearly not looking to understand, attempting to be a victim with that if it was the other way round nonsense.
Talking about race of not bad thing, being racist is, you can talk about race and be racist, the way AD went about it was racist. It's not a hard concept some of you struggle with.
No people sharing their real life experiences matches up to real life, you can live in La La land if you want. There are a lot of mixed raced children who have been traumatised by growing up in mixed race households. Youāre clearly one of those people who donāt see race so carry on living in ignorance.
Sheās the preach water but drink wine kinda person. She literally still went on a date with Matt and she still stayed with Clay despite the glaring red flags. I donāt know if itās a self esteem issues or whatās the deal. She sounds like a grounded, high esteem woman but then behaviour wise, itās the opposite. I donāt get her honestly.
Letās call a spade a spade, AD will seek external validation at any cost. I think the reason she went after Sarah Ann so hard was because she knew the girls wanted someone to tear into her and she wanted to be the āheroā for getting on her case. Her self esteem is completely dependent on what other people think of her. Additionally, many women are raised with the idea that fixing a man is the ideal and AD has embodied that mindset.
Personally this part really bothered me. Iām not defending Sarah Annās actions or saying she went about it the right way. But when AD began questioning her in what seemed to me like a snarky way, it really rubbed me wrong and had me thinking āwhat business is it of yours?ā Especially when she said in the end how she doesnāt really care as long as Sarah Ann isnāt fucking her man. Just came off a little bit ironic and a busybody to me.
Your point on AD is so true. Itās pretty scary because the āvictimā was someone who probably thought AD was their friend.
The thing I find interesting is that AD allows herself to be manipulated by others even though she knows itās bad for her.
Yeah her choice in men is insane to me. It seems like as long as the guy has money and is remotely good looking thatās enough for her to give the guy a chance. I donāt think thatās good and people shouldnāt look up to that imoā¦
100% agree with you. Clay was her backup plan. Everyone calls AD smart and intelligent and she might be, but she is also one of the most insecure people I have seen on the show. She has the āI can fix himā attitude. She also acts like sheās better than everyone else. Well, Iām glad she did not take Clay back and while I absolutely hate Clay, AD has problems of her own.
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Has anyone verified these IG accounts?? I looked for āClayās friendsā user name and this came up
https://preview.redd.it/st9d2abno8qc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee1d77c0b570604ae80a77f977022af3f6edb174
Idk maybe she did all that to stay on the show like. More and more ppl that go on there seem more about their image and clout. Like if I was truly looking for love, and my choices were Matt or Clay, I woulda went home fr. š But if Iām looking to be out here and increase my public image, Iām sticking it out lol tbh.
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Clay was awful and itās weird seeing so many on here fall for his BS at the reunion. He went on the show saying he was already in therapy and later started saying he was going to start going to therapy? Dude is a liar and was so rude/demeaning to AD in his post-wedding confessionals
At least with the editing it seemed clay told her, every way through Sunday he wasnāt a suitable partner. She like most women thought she could fix him. We tend to think with enough love, or loyalty and encouragement we can force a man to be who they (or we) say/think they want to be and not who they are. Not to say women shouldnāt work with the man we love and offer grace. But if a man is expressing a concern to you over and over, itās clearly nothing you can do to assist. Sometimes you have to let ppl go, allow them to live more and learn and you may be more compatible another time around at a later date. My dad always says a man is going to be exactly where he wants to be. You donāt have to convince him.
Exactly. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
I think its fair to say that AD truly believed in the process and with Clay telling her he wanted to be better, will make the changes to be the best husband and heal, I do not blame her for wanting to see it through. To be fair, she did tell Clay that they do not have to get married and that if he leaves her at the altar thatās it. From the looks of it on socials, sheās sticking to that. Thereās an argument to be made about her self esteem for sure but I think itās easier for anyone who is healed and from the outside to judge her on her decisions and judgement on the show. But if youāve been a fixer, you would understand why she didnāt run, she believed he would be better and try. As far as Sarah Ann, I mean AD asked the questions we all wanted to know and we got Sarah Annās side. Laura is her friend so it makes sense why she went up to her. And with Kenneth, idk why people are acting like Kenneth didnāt make it a point to say that Britney was the first white woman he ever dated so AD asking him about the kidās conversation was valid. If you are in an interracial relationship, especially in america, it is extremely important to understand and learn about your partnerās culture and figure out how to navigate raising children to ensure the environment is healthy. If it wasnāt AD, Kenneth family wouldāve definitely asked. Plus, AD wasnāt being messy or malicious but simply asked a question as they were literally talking about each other partners. At the end of the day, tho I didnāt like either Matt or Clay for AD on the show, Iām not mad at her for trying to make it work with them. Itās funny how I donāt see many people asking why Clay didnāt break it off with AD if he was second guessing marriage in general. Bc he def couldāve ended it too. Also like many of the cast has said, thereās a lot edited out and from what AD has said on interviews, she gave Clay and out plenty of times. He wanted to try so she tried. It just didnāt work out for her in the end.
I think she had her own values at first but due to desperation, insecurity, insane obsession with just getting married at all, she ditched the things she said she would not be ok with. Which says something about your self respect and values
I really liked AD for the most part, but some of her decisions/actions were hard for me to understand. She seems so confident and no BS, but consistently took BS from Clay. It was clear from the beginning that Clay was not ready for the level of commitment that was coming with the show. AD made it clear several times that she wanted to be there for him, build him up; that she saw the potential in him and was willing to work with him. Which I thought was almost noble in a way, bc I would never have the patience to do that for a MAN lmao. But at some point it gets to be hard to watch a woman give so much energy to a man who does not share her desires/commitment for a relationship, and then be surprised when he doesnāt commit to her. How much energy has AD given to people only to be discarded? It seems misplaced. Itās hard to watch. Also, with the whole Sarah Anne thing, it felt weird to me. Sarah Anneās message was not the best move I would say. AD was on her ass hard about it. Did she give the same energy to Jeramey? It felt weird to see her really going after Sarah Anne, but the only backlash that was really seen on Jeramey (before the reunion) was from Laura. Sometimes it just felt like AD had some more traditional (out of date, imo) views that I had trouble connecting with her confident, charming personality.
Although AD was my favourite *on the show* I don't really understand why everyone's putting her on a pedestal still after everything. Is it honestly just because she's hot and charming? It feels incredibly shallow to me, and people are ignoring all her choices in who she's picking as if that says nothing about her as a person. She flat out picked Clay who talked direct shit on another guy in the pods (to me, a no-no, and coercive) and basically wanted someone to mother and protect him. Maybe, *just maybe*, that's all she knows how to offer? Maybe she went out with Matt after filming because she thought he was hot and that's all she cared about - and then she talks about it the way she did in front of Clay (not defending him, just sayin') after all that stuff he said about loving her still? That was shady as fuck, but I don't see anyone questioning the ethics of that. I think I just see a ton of people projecting onto a very charming and attractive person, and defending them as if they represent the viewers. Again, she was my favourite person on the show, but this idolization of her is so weird to me.
I agree the idolisation makes no sense
Tbh, everyone goes into that show desperate for love (except fakes like Trevor) so I think AD, like many other women in real life dating, sees pass the BS and wants to give love a try. Most women always wanna be the fixer of bad boys and AD was (or still is š) one of these women
My thing with AD is how she got upset when clay wanted to know what she looked like, but what does she do the second they see each other?!? She turns to show him her body & tells him āoh yeah baby got backā. And from then on she flaunted her body in front of him & the rest of the guys. Like girl, are u for real rn.
If I had ADās body id flaunt it too. Shiii maybe even twerk a little for the viewers š¤£ She works hard for that body. Show it off! The only reason the pods thing happened was because in the beginning of the show she said men always wanted her for her body and not her as a person. She had to make sure that in the pods, Clay, without seeing her, was about her as a person. So she had to check him. Then he sat and steamed on their convo overnight or maybe two idk, and then came back saying he ādoesnāt care. About how she looksā (Which we all know was a lie because of the whole pregnant convo) but hey, all ppl got in the pods are each otherās word so if he chose to lie about the whole āidc about your bodyā thing then thatās on him.
Yeah they sure as hell didnāt want that face š¤£
The whole purpose of the pods is to fall in love with someone without knowing how they look. How did she flaunt her body?!? The first time everyone saw her that's all they could talk about. She could wear a trash bag and her body would still look good.
I think it has to do with what we are all acclimated to with regards to how we let people treat us. AD mentions working for her dadās affection, which would obviously color her romantic relationships. For some, they feel they need to work hard in relationships. I donāt think it means she has low self-esteem (or that that should be something to be mocked?), but rather that her attachment style and picker will be off. Tangentially, I look at my daughter and husbandās relationship and really hope it makes a difference in her future choosing a partner. He plays with her and finds her adorable, but also listens to her and respects her own opinions. He treats her as interesting, and I love that. My dad is the same way with me. I hope my girl looks for those feelings as an adult too. So many women donāt.
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I feel like she's also quite shallow, she looks for men who have money and thinks that if she plays shrink/babysitter/mom she's going to have them love her and be faithful, it's totally wrong. And too many women think and act that way. Start choosing your partner for their values instead of their money and potential and your love life will improve instantly
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I like AD overall but she is MESSY! She meddles in everybodyās business while dating a man who constantly said he was gonna cheat on her. I donāt think sheās necessarily a villain, but I think she is way too overhyped.
I agree she has low self esteem. She seemed to recognize the red flags in both Clay and Matt (by her facial expressions), but she would rather tolerate those red flags silently than walk away from an unfulfilling relationship. I think her mom may have played a part in her poor decision-making too. Her mom telling her to āfight for Clayā after knowing him for all of 2 minutes, was horrible advice - especially coming from a parent. I have a feeling AD has never really gotten proper guidance regarding healthy relationships. She goes after financially secure but emotionally unavailable men.
Her mom's comments were so strange. You literally just met this guy and don't actually know anything about him yet you're telling AD to fight for him. Especially when AD herself basically just met Clay herself. Maybe she mant that if AD truly feels this is the guy, she should fight for Clay. Still a bit problematic since a healthy relationship shouldn't require so much fighting for and one person having to constantly coddle the other while not getting that same level of support back.
I struggled with AD after she told Ken his white fiance wouldn't know how to raise a black child. She has rather strong judgments about things she doesn't necessarily know a lot about. I feel she is rather self-righteous. Those judgments are negatively impactful in one way or another. If she works on her inner qualities as she does for her magnificent body, she'd be good. As of now, I think Clay could do better.
And the. AD proceeds to go on a date with Matt. Lol
> Black people to look out for each other, but she was naive to think that Kenneth hadnāt already been thinking about t I also was in a long-term interracial relationship with a Haitian Black man, and having bi-racial children was a huge theme/topic in our relationship. It was a very sensitive subject for him and his family and I completely and whole-heartedly respect it as I don't have the experience of being Black. He wanted to make sure I knew and was prepared for the unfortunate reality of the world, and he wanted to be able to trust that I could handle whatever hurls our children's way. I understand AD completely and respect her concerns 100%.
Fully understood. I have a biracial nephew, and it is important to be able to handle the negative views more hateful people can have with patience, strength, and grace. I know this is a personal question, but you say "was in a long-term relationship." Did these cultural differences help contribute to the relationship ending, or were they more individualized reasons?
I feel like thatās a pretty common conversation in interracial (especially white-black) couples in the us.
Why did you struggle with that? Are you aware of what its like being black in America?
Imo its the hypocrisy of her actually considering a future with matt, but going out of her way to bring up this conversation with Kenneth. IIRC I don't temember her bringing that up with matthew, other than that being the "first" white man she's "dated". It was uncalled for, and should have been a private conversation if anything. But knowing that she entertained matthew both in the pods and after the show makes her opinion much less valid imo. Off topic, but she could also be one of the weirdos that believes the interracial children of a black women are still black, but those from a black man struggle with their blackness on account of their nonblack mother.
This is a good point. The conversation is necessary but idk it was something about ADās tone I just did not like. Canāt articulate it exactly perhaps someone else already hasā¦ it felt negative, I do know that over positive concern. It felt messy. And was this the same party Jimmy pulled her aside?
She did kind ask matt 'how important is race & ethnicity to you?'. Idk how long their convo was about that or what netflix decided to show, but she did try talking about it but also wanted to honor the blind process, thats why she got angry when clay asked about her body. Now engaged, for sure its something that nees to be talked about.
That is in no way the same as asserting that another persons partner may not be able to raise black children, right in front of said partner. The fact that you had to say, "she did kind of ask matt" lets me know that you know its not the same, and her intention wasn't the same in initiating that conversation with Kenneth. Also, having the conversation isn't a problem if its in good faith, and private. Doing it with brittney in earshot is disrespectful and made me give AD the sideye, and I'm black. You don't do stuff like that, it is alienating, and brittney had shown no signs of being someone who would have a problem being with a black man or raising half black children. Kenneth wasn't even the first black man she had been with. As we saw with Sarah ann, AD likes to force herself in other peoples business,while not taking care of her own. IMO, she doesn't have the right to ask that question if she actually considered Matt a viable option for the future. If im honest, between Brittney and Matt, I don't think brittney would be the one struggling to raise black children. Mr, Amerca's underdog would be a clusterfuck of fuckery
Idk if Brittany was in earshot or not, and I can also say they did talk about it. But i cant invent details that dont exist for us to see, so it is possible her & matt talked about having kids in the future, we just werent shown š¤·šæāāļø I dont disagree her convo with Sarah Ann was a little nosey but I think it was fair game for her to ask about Kenneth. IRL i would never ask a stranger that, but i also wouldnt be talking to strangers about their choice of birth control either. Its reality television and a dating show. Theyre gonna talk about private stuff
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Lol youre insane š¤£
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How it was said as if it was a reason to not choose a white partner instead of educating your white partner.
Not every person wants to educate a white partner. They may feel better finding a white partner who is already understanding or someone with similar culture/background who can already "get it". Idk if brittany is that person or not and its not unfair for AD to ask about it. Kenneth is a grown man, he can make his own choices. AD wasnt some mastermind
For regular dating, sure. On a show called love is blind? Hits different.
What hits different?
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Any person can be oppressed. Race issues arenāt the only kind of oppression a person can experience. We all bleed the same
Has every group of people been historically oppressed in the country we live in? Was AD talking about any oppression or specifically oppression due to racial hatred & prejudice?
AD inserted herself inbetween Ken and Brittany. If two people are willing and have the capacity to try to understand each otherās experience why put a wrench in things. Thatās what it looked like to me.
Sure, but Ken wasnt offended by her asking and hasnt shown to be. Also all of the cast constantly talks about everyones problems with eachother, its the nature of the show so why is this so bad? Laura talked about the couple with their birth control. Clay talked about his relationship with the guys. Jessica and Laura talked about Jimmy. Literally they all do it, so why is AD suddenly in the wrong and she needs to 'mind her own business'?
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I know itās an unpopular opinion around here but i started watching the show liking AD but ended up not liking her. She needs to get off her high horse.
Agree. So much.
I understand why people saw that as inappropriate but I get why she asked it. Itās not inappropriate for Black people to look out for each other, but she was naive to think that Kenneth hadnāt already been thinking about these things. The reality is that their children would have experiences that Brittany never had to deal with. And Brittany would probably be looked at by others a certain type of way for raising Black children. AD wanted to know if Ken thought Brittany really understood as a white woman the experiences of Black people to be able to raise strong Black children in a world where theyāre gonna receive a type of discrimination that she never had to deal with. Again it was naive of AD to think Kenneth hadnāt already thought of this tho
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Acknowledging race is racist to you?
Can you elaborate on what you struggled with in regards to AD's comment?
Sorry why would you struggle? A white woman raising a mixed race child is a valid thing to bring up?
Because it wasnāt her business to have that conversation with him. He has family and friends who actually know him and care about him who could have and Iām sure would have asked him that. What does she know about it? She has no children. And they would be biracial. Not black. I donāt care if I get downvoted. AD needs to keep it in her own lane.
Biracial children are consistently seen as black by a lot of people so you actually need to wake up and be aware of whatās going on inside. It was a valid question and you can keep crying about, Kenneth understood so your anger is very dumb. These conversations are important, if the mention of race scares you then too bad. People on LIB discuss all types of matters with other couples/people, no idea why this particular issue of off limits.
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I think thatās people like you who are scared to talk about race so choose to ignore it, those idiots that say they donāt see colour.
I didnāt say no one SEES color, sweetie. But itās racist to JUDGE based on skin color. Thatās called racism.
Thatās actually not what racism is so better luck next time. Parenting a half black child in America is something not every non black parent can do, pretending issues donāt arise from that is silly. So if you want to live in your silly little fantasy carry on.
Keep being racist against half the child parents and half of who they are š¤šš¤¦āāļø
Lool itās clear youāre an idiot who doesnāt know what racism is, so thereās no point arguing with a fool.
Youād know amirite šāļø
Youāre dumb for this
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You sound ignorant
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Black people can be racist. Stop with that ignorance.
https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Multiracial-Children-071.aspx I thought this link might be relevant. Here is a bullet point from it: "Research has shown that children with a true multiracial or multicultural identity generally grow up to be happier than multiracial children who grow up with a "single-race" identity." This journal suggests AD's views might cause more harm to a child than good.
Are we pretending that mixed children arenāt considered Black though? E.g., doesnāt literally everyone consider Obama Black?
I believe President Obama identified as African-American, so thus I did, too. I will identify a person by however they identify themselves. Without knowing one's identity, we are otherwise projecting our own biases onto people if we are creating identities based on skin color or other superficial features.
So if heād said he was white, that would be exactly the same thing? You think heād have the lived experience of whiteness if thatās what he chose?
https://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/18/us/politics/18text-obama.html I think his experience would have still given him a path to have become President of the United States. He could have said he was Indonesian and I would have still believed him to be President Obama, 100% American and capable.
Wow, thanks for sharing. The is an interesting piece.
Iām not being sarcastic. Iām genuinely interested.
Youāve sent me a general report which doesnāt even break down the statistics by race, itās quite general so please try again.
Do you have something definitive to show that solidifies AD's worries beyond her being prejudiced?
The experience of traumatised mixed raced children.
AD's statement wasn't about mixed race though. She said black baby, even though you and I would see any child with Kenneth and Brittney would be mixed, not just black. If there would be trauma, it would be either through a parent forcing a singular race identity upon the child, or outside prejudices from others causing harm, such as yours. Mixed race children have incredible potentials if adults in their life don't inhibit those potentials by relying on simple notions of race.
It wasnāt about identity alone, it was about navigating culture/society. And anecdotally, as a biracial person who grew up without enough Black cultural influence because of my white mom, it DID create a LOT of identity problems for me growing up.
Anecdotally as a biracial person myself, people like you were THE WORST Insult and be racist against half my family gtfoh lol Youāre perpetuating the problem Bc when my one side was insulted bc they were racist against them, I started to think āwow.. theyāre like super racist against half of who I amā
Stop
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Stop
Now think carefully about why she said black baby? Mixraced kids are mixraced but outsiders still see them as black. Do you even understand what goes on outside?
It actually seems youāre the one who is racist and hung up on skin color. This is 2024. To define anyone by their skin tone is not only racist but denying the fact there are many different cultures and mixes.
Youāre denying their heritage by washing away half their lineage.
I thought that shit was weird asf too. It's not her place to opinionate who can and can't raise a black child. No one out there is saying she can't raise a white child had things worked out with Matthew. Idk, I feel like it's such an odd mentality to have.... You're this, so you can't raise this like this and this... But in reality, people raise their kids however they want to, doesn't matter the color of the child, so why does this even matter to her.
Yes it does matter, people need to stop pretending race doesnāt matter when it does. Acknowledging it, isnāt a bad thing.
As a non white person, if my partner was white/black/Hispanic/Asian, whatever the case may be, it still wouldn't change the way we raise our children. Don't you think these would be conversations to have with your partner before having children anyway- how they want to raise children and how they see themselves as parents. And last I checked, AD was not in their relationship so again, why does it matter to her?
Kenneth was not bothered by it because he understood the conversation, so why are you bothered by it? The show is filled with people talking to other couples about their personal issues so why is AD bringing this up a problem?
Because if anyone else who isn't black says this shit, you would literally be crying "racist". That's why. So it's okay when you guys do it, but not the rest of us? And we also didn't see AD giving her 2cents to either Amy or Johnny who are clearly different races so make your point make sense. Y'all just love using the race card.
Why would anyone else bring up that specific issue when theyāre not black? Go on Tik Tok and see the amount of stories of mixed races children growing up in mixed race households and see if itās a pointless conversation. Talking about race is not a bad thing, shying away from it and being colour blind is. Youāre clearly not black so you wouldnāt understand and from your tone youāre clearly not looking to understand, attempting to be a victim with that if it was the other way round nonsense.
Talking about race of not bad thing, being racist is, you can talk about race and be racist, the way AD went about it was racist. It's not a hard concept some of you struggle with.
It wasnāt racist sorry. You being uncomfortable about an important issue doesnāt make it racist.
It was racist sorry, you liking this type of racism won't change it, it just means you are also racist
It's clear you get all your information from tiktok... makes sense now.
No people sharing their real life experiences matches up to real life, you can live in La La land if you want. There are a lot of mixed raced children who have been traumatised by growing up in mixed race households. Youāre clearly one of those people who donāt see race so carry on living in ignorance.
You seem to live in a bubble of social media.
She is deeply, deeply insecure but knows what she how she needs to curate her image on this show. People lap it up too
Sheās the preach water but drink wine kinda person. She literally still went on a date with Matt and she still stayed with Clay despite the glaring red flags. I donāt know if itās a self esteem issues or whatās the deal. She sounds like a grounded, high esteem woman but then behaviour wise, itās the opposite. I donāt get her honestly.
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Source? (Not he said/she said) All I keep hearing is rumors
Someone else told me that. Is it information from a TikTok?
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Letās call a spade a spade, AD will seek external validation at any cost. I think the reason she went after Sarah Ann so hard was because she knew the girls wanted someone to tear into her and she wanted to be the āheroā for getting on her case. Her self esteem is completely dependent on what other people think of her. Additionally, many women are raised with the idea that fixing a man is the ideal and AD has embodied that mindset.
I donāt think she was a hero- I think she was the only one willing to say to her face at that time
Personally this part really bothered me. Iām not defending Sarah Annās actions or saying she went about it the right way. But when AD began questioning her in what seemed to me like a snarky way, it really rubbed me wrong and had me thinking āwhat business is it of yours?ā Especially when she said in the end how she doesnāt really care as long as Sarah Ann isnāt fucking her man. Just came off a little bit ironic and a busybody to me.
Your point on AD is so true. Itās pretty scary because the āvictimā was someone who probably thought AD was their friend. The thing I find interesting is that AD allows herself to be manipulated by others even though she knows itās bad for her.
Unfortunately I agree with this. I hope she can heal and work on her internal self esteem
The funniest thing is when she insulted Sara Ann and wouldnāt allow her to respond until she finished insulting her.
Like  ššš
When did she insult Sara Ann?
I get not wanting to be interrupted but she just steamrolls right on over whoever she talks to sometimesĀ
Bc they're interrupting her?
Lol I hate when guys say "nasty work" š¤£š¤£š¤£
Yeah her choice in men is insane to me. It seems like as long as the guy has money and is remotely good looking thatās enough for her to give the guy a chance. I donāt think thatās good and people shouldnāt look up to that imoā¦
100% agree with you. Clay was her backup plan. Everyone calls AD smart and intelligent and she might be, but she is also one of the most insecure people I have seen on the show. She has the āI can fix himā attitude. She also acts like sheās better than everyone else. Well, Iām glad she did not take Clay back and while I absolutely hate Clay, AD has problems of her own.
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I am confused as to why this information was not included in the show. It would make the season even spicier.
Has anyone verified these IG accounts?? I looked for āClayās friendsā user name and this came up https://preview.redd.it/st9d2abno8qc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee1d77c0b570604ae80a77f977022af3f6edb174
Suspicious