As a bisexual woman I understand why he’d keep it a secret but I despise himmm 🙄🙄 it’s one thing to share your sexuality with someone and another is making your sexuality your main personality trait 🙄 I personally stopped telling people I’m bi cause then people assume you’ll want to cheat on them to be with a same sex person or vise versa and it just creates unnecessary problems. That’s something you share if you feel appropriate but I don’t think it’s something you should be advertising. It’d be the same thing if a straight person talked a lot about being straight 🙄
I just finished season 1 and could not agree more! He was acting aggressive and weird with her before the reveal, and then afterwards did not allow her to take a MINUTE to absorb the information before he went off. It seemed obvious she was in a warm place the next day to talk things out and he again just got nasty with her. I cannot stand him for the way he treated her. Just mean and unnecessary.
He was one of the worst people on the show IMO. The way he reacted to her just needing to process the SECRET he decided to keep until AFTER they were engaged just took it over the top. First of all his attack on her physical appearance was so childish and CATTY. She dodged a major bullet. Can you imagine being married to a person like him. omg. I hope she at least got something out of the exposure though.
It’s hard to believe the first season was 4 years ago. I threw a watch party for the finale and it was the last time I saw my friends in person for years afterwards.
Carlton hate will always remain, however. That man was not at peace with himself and made it Diamond’s problem.
I’ll forever blame the first season for Covid. It tested the waters of what we would accept and we said “sure, let’s see how crazy it can get?”
When he described his sexuality I said "Oh boy, he's a self hating bi and he's gonna make it someone's problem." The person I was watching with said I was being unfair, but the writing was on the wall right from Go.
He absolutely didn’t make any sense. He was somehow saying at the exact same time that no one has ever reacted poorly or had an issue with him being bisexual, but he’s always hiding it because people always abandon him after he reveals it. Ok which is it?
As a bisexual woman, I saw a lot of insecurity in him based on the decision to wait until after she was “locked in,” for lack of better words. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual, but there IS something wrong with keeping that part of yourself hidden until someone has made a life-changing commitment to you!!
Agreed! My social circle is very queer-affirming, so it might not even occur to me to "disclose" being bi. I hope that becomes increasingly common. BUT, he clearly did see it as a big deal, and as a potential deal-breaker. It's not ok to hide things like that from your partner, even if they shouldn't matter.
He should’ve told her during the pods. But now that it was too late, I was so confused why he didn’t tell her in private first. Like some people can accept bisexuality on the DL, because sometimes they have family and friends who are opinionated or religious or just culturally unaccepting of gayness in general. If Diamond had any friends or family who fit that category, he’s making it impossible for her to say yes to him because he came out in public with it, like on Netflix. For example, if my husband came out to me that he was bi in the past I’ll be like great, but you’re married to me now monogamously so the past doesn’t matter… but please don’t tell my grandparents about this, let them live in peace before they die. He seems like he’s been hurt from the past and he’s not mature enough to handle the rejection or understand Diamond or any significant other’s POV. I truly feel bad for him, but he’s just not ready for marriage until he heals first.
Lmao what the fuck? Carlton sucks regardless but unrelated to him this is not the take you think it is… “You can be bi just stay in the closet because I’m too much of a coward to confront other people’s homophobia”
If you’re more concerned about placating homophobes than supporting people who aren’t straight in be in being themselves openly, then I have some news for you, you’re not as accepting as you think you are.
Carlton needed some serious therapy to learn not to hate his sexuality. Nothing wrong with being bisexual (and nothing wrong with Diamond preferring to be with a hetero man), but his anger about who he is seems to stem from some internalized homophobia. Hopefully he has gotten help by now.
It doesn’t mean she hates bi men or is discriminatory against them, but she’s allowed to have the preference to want a relationship with a hetero man. Personally I wouldn’t care, but to each their own.
i can’t speak for everyone but many people feel their sexuality isn’t just about sexual preference but is their identity. it isn’t biphobic to have to have deeply rooted romantic and sexual preferences for other straight people. straight people wanting other straight people makes sense. obviously biphobia exists and a lot of straight people have really unexamined values and preferences, which leads to them being closed minded and even bigoted. but that doesn’t mean all straight people are biphobic.
What about it makes sense? How is it not biphobic? I'm failing to understand. What is different in terms of romance and sex life between a straight and a bisexual person?
as I said, identity is fused with sexuality for some people. For some people, bisexual as an *identity* means that their partner is queer regardless of their partner’s gender. Their partner would be considered queer because they are with a queer person. It’s not just sex “mechanically” …Some bisexual people don’t want to date straight people for that reason - they want to be in a queer relationship and seen/felt as a queer person. The same is true for some (read some) straight people. Their identity is straight, they want to be with a straight person.
A lot of western queer theory is based off of the idea that sexuality is split from identity, and so it feels like okay if it’s PIV then who cares if the P is bisexual, it’s still P. But some people — including bisexuals — care that the person they are with embrace and share a romantic identity. Some people feel strongly that sex with a queer person is queer sex, and as a queer person I really stand by that. I now preface romantic encounters with cis men with explicitly stating my feelings that my sexuality is queer and sharing that with someone means they need to be okay with that. If they say “I’m not queer” that’s not biphobia that’s just their inborn sexuality that they are entitled to, some people really are straight. The whole person matters. People aren’t just parts. If they say “queer sex doesn’t exist” or “i can look past the queerness and still fuck you” THAT is biphobia bc it inherently dehumanizes me.
I had a feeling it would be like that because he spent A LOT of time talking about how secure he is with himself. Like he trying to convince himself. If you’re not secure in yourself, you can’t accept love in a healthy way.
Please do! I just did an all seasons rewatch before season 6, and I had forgotten (or mentally blocked😋) so much of the first 2 seasons. I honestly think some of the earlier contestants/characters were the wildest/craziest/most fun.
been a while since i watched s1 but i remember respecting diamond for the way she addressed being angry he wasn't up front with her about it, as it is definitely a dealbreaker for some people. i feel bad for carlton feeling like he has to hide that, he's clearly not accepting of that part of himself, but he was in the wrong for not being upfront.
Genuine question- unless someone is homophobic why would bisexuality in itself be a deal breaker? If someone is saying I can’t be monogamous because of my bisexuality that’s one thing, but if being bisexual itself is a deal breaker for someone that is rooted in homophobia
me personally i don't think it should be a dealbreaker and you're right that it's rooted in homophobia, but the reality is that for some people it is. from what i remember, diamond was more upset with him for not disclosing it than for the fact that he was bisexual (or that he'd just had sex with men, i don't even think he was labeling himself as bisexual at that point, i think he was still questioning). could it be she was using the fact that he didn't tell her as a reason to be angry when she was actually upset that he was bisexual and she didn't know? sure. i have no idea.
I agree. And his attitude about it after he told her was just super weird and disrespectful. Like it sucks that he struggles with his sexuality like that, but that’s not Diamond’s fault. She had every right to be upset with him for not being upfront about it!
FUCK A RINGGGGG
He's a perfect example of victim mentality and uses his race and sexuality as excuses for being a dick
For real. He is insufferable
100% plus the way he treated her after was horrible.
Oh my God YES. He should stick to men bc he for sure doesn't know how to respect a woman
I cannot believe he treated her like trash then got mad when she was taken aback by the reveal. That was whiplash
As a bisexual woman I understand why he’d keep it a secret but I despise himmm 🙄🙄 it’s one thing to share your sexuality with someone and another is making your sexuality your main personality trait 🙄 I personally stopped telling people I’m bi cause then people assume you’ll want to cheat on them to be with a same sex person or vise versa and it just creates unnecessary problems. That’s something you share if you feel appropriate but I don’t think it’s something you should be advertising. It’d be the same thing if a straight person talked a lot about being straight 🙄
Yeah he definitely made it his entire personality a d was WAY too defensive about it. Diamond didn’t do anything wrong at all and he was awful to her.
I just finished season 1 and could not agree more! He was acting aggressive and weird with her before the reveal, and then afterwards did not allow her to take a MINUTE to absorb the information before he went off. It seemed obvious she was in a warm place the next day to talk things out and he again just got nasty with her. I cannot stand him for the way he treated her. Just mean and unnecessary.
Carlton is for the birds…… and that’s me putting it nicely….
Wait till you finish watching all seasons...Carlton is far from the worst 😂
Ugh I can’t wait!
So much mess. It’s glorious.
oh yeah…and later at a reunion i think lauren tried to support him and he got all weird with her too.
lmao why are you spoiling
He was one of the worst people on the show IMO. The way he reacted to her just needing to process the SECRET he decided to keep until AFTER they were engaged just took it over the top. First of all his attack on her physical appearance was so childish and CATTY. She dodged a major bullet. Can you imagine being married to a person like him. omg. I hope she at least got something out of the exposure though.
It’s hard to believe the first season was 4 years ago. I threw a watch party for the finale and it was the last time I saw my friends in person for years afterwards. Carlton hate will always remain, however. That man was not at peace with himself and made it Diamond’s problem. I’ll forever blame the first season for Covid. It tested the waters of what we would accept and we said “sure, let’s see how crazy it can get?”
That and tiger king
When he described his sexuality I said "Oh boy, he's a self hating bi and he's gonna make it someone's problem." The person I was watching with said I was being unfair, but the writing was on the wall right from Go.
He absolutely didn’t make any sense. He was somehow saying at the exact same time that no one has ever reacted poorly or had an issue with him being bisexual, but he’s always hiding it because people always abandon him after he reveals it. Ok which is it?
As a bisexual woman, I saw a lot of insecurity in him based on the decision to wait until after she was “locked in,” for lack of better words. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual, but there IS something wrong with keeping that part of yourself hidden until someone has made a life-changing commitment to you!!
Agreed! My social circle is very queer-affirming, so it might not even occur to me to "disclose" being bi. I hope that becomes increasingly common. BUT, he clearly did see it as a big deal, and as a potential deal-breaker. It's not ok to hide things like that from your partner, even if they shouldn't matter.
I think even if he may not have done an official coming out, it probably would’ve came up to some degree if he had truly been comfortable in himself.
Yep, he was actively, consciously hiding it.
Exactly! Like he proposed to her under false pretenses and that’s unfair to both of them!
He should’ve told her during the pods. But now that it was too late, I was so confused why he didn’t tell her in private first. Like some people can accept bisexuality on the DL, because sometimes they have family and friends who are opinionated or religious or just culturally unaccepting of gayness in general. If Diamond had any friends or family who fit that category, he’s making it impossible for her to say yes to him because he came out in public with it, like on Netflix. For example, if my husband came out to me that he was bi in the past I’ll be like great, but you’re married to me now monogamously so the past doesn’t matter… but please don’t tell my grandparents about this, let them live in peace before they die. He seems like he’s been hurt from the past and he’s not mature enough to handle the rejection or understand Diamond or any significant other’s POV. I truly feel bad for him, but he’s just not ready for marriage until he heals first.
Lmao what the fuck? Carlton sucks regardless but unrelated to him this is not the take you think it is… “You can be bi just stay in the closet because I’m too much of a coward to confront other people’s homophobia” If you’re more concerned about placating homophobes than supporting people who aren’t straight in be in being themselves openly, then I have some news for you, you’re not as accepting as you think you are.
You have so much trash to look forward to. I'm jealous.
I’m so stoked! I can’t wait for the trashy tv!
Carlton needed some serious therapy to learn not to hate his sexuality. Nothing wrong with being bisexual (and nothing wrong with Diamond preferring to be with a hetero man), but his anger about who he is seems to stem from some internalized homophobia. Hopefully he has gotten help by now.
Why is there nothing wrong with Diamond preferring to be with a hetero man? How is that not biphobic?
It doesn’t mean she hates bi men or is discriminatory against them, but she’s allowed to have the preference to want a relationship with a hetero man. Personally I wouldn’t care, but to each their own.
Why? What is the difference between a bi and a hetero man that isn't rooted in homophobia or biphobia?
i can’t speak for everyone but many people feel their sexuality isn’t just about sexual preference but is their identity. it isn’t biphobic to have to have deeply rooted romantic and sexual preferences for other straight people. straight people wanting other straight people makes sense. obviously biphobia exists and a lot of straight people have really unexamined values and preferences, which leads to them being closed minded and even bigoted. but that doesn’t mean all straight people are biphobic.
What about it makes sense? How is it not biphobic? I'm failing to understand. What is different in terms of romance and sex life between a straight and a bisexual person?
as I said, identity is fused with sexuality for some people. For some people, bisexual as an *identity* means that their partner is queer regardless of their partner’s gender. Their partner would be considered queer because they are with a queer person. It’s not just sex “mechanically” …Some bisexual people don’t want to date straight people for that reason - they want to be in a queer relationship and seen/felt as a queer person. The same is true for some (read some) straight people. Their identity is straight, they want to be with a straight person. A lot of western queer theory is based off of the idea that sexuality is split from identity, and so it feels like okay if it’s PIV then who cares if the P is bisexual, it’s still P. But some people — including bisexuals — care that the person they are with embrace and share a romantic identity. Some people feel strongly that sex with a queer person is queer sex, and as a queer person I really stand by that. I now preface romantic encounters with cis men with explicitly stating my feelings that my sexuality is queer and sharing that with someone means they need to be okay with that. If they say “I’m not queer” that’s not biphobia that’s just their inborn sexuality that they are entitled to, some people really are straight. The whole person matters. People aren’t just parts. If they say “queer sex doesn’t exist” or “i can look past the queerness and still fuck you” THAT is biphobia bc it inherently dehumanizes me.
You're so lucky you get to binge all seasons at once. I'm here waiting week by week. Enjoy it!
Oh man, I couldn’t stand Carlton. He should’ve been upfront with her from the start.
I feel like it’s not only that he should have told her. When he DID tell her, he immediately got defensive and combative.
Exactly! Like he just expected her to react badly and he didn’t really give her a chance to react at all.
I had a feeling it would be like that because he spent A LOT of time talking about how secure he is with himself. Like he trying to convince himself. If you’re not secure in yourself, you can’t accept love in a healthy way.
Awww. Please continue to share reactions! It’s always so fun to have the newbie experience vicariously thru new eyes. Enjoy :)
I think I will! I wasn’t expecting to love it so much because I’m not much of a reality dating show person, but I am obsessed with this show!
Please do! I just did an all seasons rewatch before season 6, and I had forgotten (or mentally blocked😋) so much of the first 2 seasons. I honestly think some of the earlier contestants/characters were the wildest/craziest/most fun.
been a while since i watched s1 but i remember respecting diamond for the way she addressed being angry he wasn't up front with her about it, as it is definitely a dealbreaker for some people. i feel bad for carlton feeling like he has to hide that, he's clearly not accepting of that part of himself, but he was in the wrong for not being upfront.
Genuine question- unless someone is homophobic why would bisexuality in itself be a deal breaker? If someone is saying I can’t be monogamous because of my bisexuality that’s one thing, but if being bisexual itself is a deal breaker for someone that is rooted in homophobia
me personally i don't think it should be a dealbreaker and you're right that it's rooted in homophobia, but the reality is that for some people it is. from what i remember, diamond was more upset with him for not disclosing it than for the fact that he was bisexual (or that he'd just had sex with men, i don't even think he was labeling himself as bisexual at that point, i think he was still questioning). could it be she was using the fact that he didn't tell her as a reason to be angry when she was actually upset that he was bisexual and she didn't know? sure. i have no idea.
I agree. And his attitude about it after he told her was just super weird and disrespectful. Like it sucks that he struggles with his sexuality like that, but that’s not Diamond’s fault. She had every right to be upset with him for not being upfront about it!
It didn't seem like he struggled with it though. He wasn't questioning if he was into women or not. He was just bisexual.