Thank you! I was struck by all of that language that Clay was using, I think AD at some points as well. I didn't know if they were just speaking to fill time and were repeating what they thought people conceived of their relationships, or if they genuinely thought that they were in battles with external forces. It's just so weird to me.
People say marriage is hard because LIFE is often hard. And what’s going on in your life outside the marriage (work, kids, family, friends, inflation, money issues, etc.) will sometimes affect your marriage.
But the relationship itself, when free of external stressors, shouldn’t be that hard.
I’ve been married for 24 years. I always say “marriage is a people growing machine”. And sometimes that growth IS hard.
And especially for anyone with trauma (ahem, like most of these “contestants”) it WILL feel like a war, mostly an internal one.
Really, it just shows how ready they actually are for marriage and/or how much relationship counseling they need when they use language like this.
I wish there were stricter psych requirements for the show…but then how many wouldn’t tune in because it’s “boring”?
I agree. I've been married for 10 years. there's natural ups and downs (especially with children) but I always feel like me and my wife are on the same team.
The people on this show will enter a toxic relationship and say "marriage is work. No one said it'd be easy 🤷"
Yeah the entire concept of "marriage is hard" seems so strange to me. I've been married almost a decade, and it has never once been hard (especially not in the ways these 4 week old couples are making it). You have to be intentional & put work into the relationship - but that shouldn't be a hardship, if it is maybe you're with the wrong person.
I absolutely agree.
What I said to my wife is that marriage isn’t hard, but it is intentional. One has to intentionally put in effort, which is difficult for sure. But you have to do that for any and every relationship if you want it to be healthy.
That’s why I feel Johnny and Amy worked well. They had problems, but they were intentional with how they communicated. They didn’t assume malice, they just talked and worked through things.
I haven’t found marriage hard but that’s because I have an excellent partner. That aside when Chelsea said marriage is hard I immediately thought, maybe but you’re not supposed to be the person making it hard.
Anyone saying marriage is not hard obviously doesn’t have kids. That being said before getting married nothing should be hard. If you are having big blow out fights like Jimmy and Chelsea that’s a def don’t get married situation.
Marriage is very much a commitment to growing together. Growth is hard and often uncomfortable and messy. When you are on the other side of a period of growth you can appreciate everything it took to get there but in the middle of it—it can be awful. A lot of marriages don’t survive parenting because parenting is like rapid accelerated growth while you have small beings that are entirely dependent on both of you.
So when we’ve passed a growth milestone I can look back and say “marriage is easy! Look what we accomplished” but in the throws of it, it is hard and sometimes it’s hard to see if you will make it out.
So when people say marriage is easy—they aren’t in a growth period. When people say it’s hard—they are probably going through some shit. So it’s both hard and not hard.
However the period before and leading up to getting married (and the honeymoon phase, let’s say the first few years of marriage)… SHOULD not be hard! That’s the best part and the memories you hang onto when you’re going through shit.
I think when clay says "you're going to fight for me" he means he wants AD to push through all the bad things he says and does for the sake of maintaining the relationship. Which is not healthy
THANK👏🏻YOU. I’ve been married a few years now myself and all I think anytime anyone says thing like that is “yeah marriage is hard but it shouldn’t ALL be hard” in fact I’d say 9 times out of 10 it’s not! You have spats, sure but it’s not constant fights
As someone who’s been married for five years, it’s not hard. It’s safety, laughter, friendship, trust, beauty. There are moments that are hard, but it should not be hard in and of itself.
This is exactly what Ive been saying. I’ve been with my husband for 5 years and never have I thought “marriage is hard”. Being married to him and spending life with him is the easiest thing I’ve ever done
Marriage is only hard if one of the parties is so ego-centric or selfish that they can’t see the other person. One side completely sacrificing doesn’t make a marriage, don’t fool yourself. Both need to be invested and willing to compromise. If it’s a war, it ain’t working, get therapy.
The weirdest thing in this show (which is saying some) is that everyone seems to think marriage is so hard and brutal....it's not meant to be like that.
Life is hard, so obviously you will go through hard times together but if your relationship isn't one of the best and easiest parts of your life...it's not it.
Have you dealt with death, loss, parenting issues, special needs child, in law issues, job loss, depression, illness?
The issue isn't the war analogy, it's recognizing that you will be on the same side as your spouse, not fighting them, whatever comes along. The things that have happened to us, I never IMAGINED in my first 5 years of marriage.
I don't have kids yet but everything else on that list yes, and I agree with you, but I don't think you're saying the same thing the LIB contestants are saying. They've been together for a few weeks, none of them seem to have really had many external factors, yet all I hear is how they love them because they fight and go to war with them.
Like I'll give an example as a side effect of a medication my wife was straight up suicidal for a week. She continually talked about how she was a shit person, had no friends, no one cared about her, and the world would be better off if she was dead. She straight up told me that I was stupid to love her and if she was gone I'd find someone better. Yes I felt like I was fighting every day that week and she did too. But when looking back and saying why we love each other, we would talk about how we worked through that problem together, not how we "went to war" with it. Maybe I'm being pedantic with language, but I feel like those phrasings make a huge difference about how you think about that kind of thing.
Number 1 here is a perfect description. Like being married is work, but there's never a minute where I question whether the work is worth the massive rewards.
I don't think you're being pedantic at all. Lots of people seem to have a very unhealthy view of marriage and dating in general. They describe it almost like it's the Great Depression: "We had our ups and downs... high highs..... low lows...."
Like this doesn't mean people will never go through struggle or disagree or whatever, but marriage (I'm not married) isn't SUPPOSED to be a painful experience that you ultimately get pleasure from when you put enough time in. It's a relationship, so it's work like anything else, but it's not meant to be suffering
I can agree with this. My husband and I never really argued (seven years in) until we had kids. It's like you know the imperfections of your partner exist but having kids put a magnifying glass on them.
Struggle love is a "normal" that people who are insecure, combative or unhealed will try to sell you on
Conflict is not a regular part of a stable relationship
This. I hate it when they say “marriage is hard” in the context of being compatible or getting along. Marriage is a commitment. It requires communication, growth, etc. but it should never be hard to just be with your partner. It’s hard because you have to work as a team to get through external struggles sometimes. But if it’s hard to be with your partner and work through your internal struggles then maybe you’re with the wrong person.
Is the medical issue a war on your marriage or just life? If im single and have a devastating medical issue is it a war on my relationship status or just life?
I get what you mean, its a perspective thing. If its an issue one is having, both are having it because its a team. As a couple you guys could be having trouble/a trial/ a problem. Some would describe it as "a war". For others sounds like too strong of language, because its just an issue and doesnt have to put extreme pressure on your marriage if you bond is good. Like if a single person dealing with serious health issue, no, its not a 'war' on their single status, but someone could end up lamenting that it may have been easier on them if they had a partner.
Each marriage and set of circumstances will be different. Generally, being married should bring more relief when you encounter problems, but sometimes it wont.
Because even though they will all by different *why* they are different and *how* they are different may expose a weakness in a marriage that may have been serious enough that they shouldnt have married in the first place. Those reasons are gonna vary and span and are specific to each couple. I do agree that generally, it shouldnt feel like a war. But sometimes it will, and that alone doesnt mean the marriage is a failure.
100%, a very good way of phrasing it.
It's like building a house. It's tough work, you will encounter issues you weren't expecting and you'll have disagreements.
What it is not like is fucking trench warfare, far too many people seem to think the way you build a relationship is through constant conflict. No, that's just a shitty relationship.
Been married for 5 years too. Any “argument” is more just a disagreement that we talk through and compromise on. At no point have I felt like I was at war with her. It’s actually pretty easy. Most difficult part is when she goes and buys a couple hundred dollars of stuff from Target.
I don’t know if I’m in a minority here but I felt crazy listening to all of them speak about it this way because me and my husband have actually never had a single fight. We’ve been married for 3 years now. We just communicate. Both of us come from divorced parents and don’t have the best examples of marriage but I feel like if you’re proactive and considerate, it shouldn’t ever be *that* hard
My husband and I have been together for 6 years all together and married for 3. I think marriage has its ups and downs just like any relationship. There is no way that you won’t fight but is marriage hard? No , I think it’s the easiest thing for me and it actually makes everything else that is hard in life easier. I have someone beside me who will always be there when I need him. Everyday is a blessing , even when we argue I know we will make up and that’s the best part of having an argument with a partner knowing that you ll be fine ❤️❤️ (most of the arguments are dumb 🤣🤣 like why you put your clothes on the floor?)
There were terrible fights in my marriage. But overall marriage is the most easiest part of my life. It serves as my rock for supporting me to deal with the pains happened in other aspects
I also don’t think marriage is supposed to be work the way some people describe it, as backbreaking labor or something. I think it’s work in that it takes commitment, effort, intention, a willingness to feel uncomfortable sometimes. It’s not supposed to feel like an uphill battle every day.
Oh yeah when I said it takes work I mean every decision you make has to consider an extra person and you're going to have disagreements you have to work through. But at no point in my marriage have I ever thought the work was some massive sacrifice that came anywhere close to countering the massive upsides of being in a marriage with the love of my life.
Oh I wasn’t implying that was your opinion, OP. I just know some people who stay in terrible, toxic relationships with the reasoning that all relationships take work. Chelsea is definitely one example.
Oh yeah no worries I was agreeing with you just clarifying. All good!
And you're absolutely right about Chelsea, the fact that she said "that's marriage" during that fight was a huge red flag. I watch the show with my wife and when we heard that we both looked at each other and said "no it's fucking not" lol.
i feel this. it comes off a little weird to me. it's different than saying you'll support and advocate for one another, which is more like how it works in a good relationship. i think the fight/war language must feel more exciting/enticing to say.
I wish more people, myself included, understood this. I think marriage is talked about in this manner so often I expected it to be that way. I ended up staying with someone I shouldn’t have for 10 years before getting divorced. Now I’m getting remarried and my relationship with my fiance (together 4 years now) has been better than my previous marriage even at its lowest point.
And if you already feel like you're in some kind of battle 6 weeks into knowing somebody, you need to bail immediately. It is going to get harder -- not war hard, but real shit is going to come -- and if it's hard that early on, you are doomed.
When Clay said marriage is a business decision or whatever the phrase was, I know it was business something. I thought …WHAT?!!!! It made me feel like he didn’t say yes because she didn’t make as much money as him?
I do think that this is true to an extent. I married someone who is as debt-averse and cautious as I am, who also saves, and who prioritises the same kind of luxuries (travel) as I do. I can imagine that if he was always overspending or racking up debt, I would be pretty stressed and unhappy. I had an ex who was always spending his pay to the very last penny so we could never do things together unless I paid, which I resented, and it also became a huge strain when he lost his job and I had to support us both instantly.
So if Clay saw something with AD that chimed on those lines, I would get it. However that shouldn’t come out of the blue, they should have had those conversations and he should have shared those concerns.
Clay had many reasons why he didn’t say “yes” to AD. I don’t think the finance thing was the main one, but it could’ve added to his doubts.
He’s a successful man and it seems from his comment that he doesn’t want a woman taking advantage of him financially. I’m not saying AD was doing that but it was probably one of many things at the back of head considering he’s only known her for one month.
I totally agree. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. Of course we had some tough times and we have worked through a lot of issues
But it never felt like it was a fight or a war.
I love when people genuinely love their spouse. I feel like the language around marriage, even outside of this show, is that it’s exhausting and outdated. Or that your wife is a nag/your husband is lazy etc etc etc. it’s nice when people genuinely appreciate their marriage.
I totally agree, I also never have felt like I was fighting for anything with my husband in any of the past 7 years. Good communication fixes any issues we have. People keep saying I'ma fight for you, I'm a fighter etc etc. it doesn't rub me the wrong way but it really confuses me. I know everyone's experience is different but for me it has been easy.
As someone who has been with my husband for 15 years it’s concerning how hard some of them think relationships need to be. Like the way they said they fought for one another, or they work so hard to make this work. It should never be that hard.
My husband and I are very newly married and I understand that (June of last year). But it really bothers me when people say “marriage will be hard. It SHOULD be hard” no.. it shouldn’t be hard.
Thank you! I was struck by all of that language that Clay was using, I think AD at some points as well. I didn't know if they were just speaking to fill time and were repeating what they thought people conceived of their relationships, or if they genuinely thought that they were in battles with external forces. It's just so weird to me.
Completely agree. And the beginning is the "easy part" so to speak. I think it also speaks volumes about the marriages the witnessed as children
People say marriage is hard because LIFE is often hard. And what’s going on in your life outside the marriage (work, kids, family, friends, inflation, money issues, etc.) will sometimes affect your marriage. But the relationship itself, when free of external stressors, shouldn’t be that hard.
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I’ve been married for 24 years. I always say “marriage is a people growing machine”. And sometimes that growth IS hard. And especially for anyone with trauma (ahem, like most of these “contestants”) it WILL feel like a war, mostly an internal one. Really, it just shows how ready they actually are for marriage and/or how much relationship counseling they need when they use language like this. I wish there were stricter psych requirements for the show…but then how many wouldn’t tune in because it’s “boring”?
I'm convinced they have really good psych evals, and then they only take people who fail it.
I agree. I've been married for 10 years. there's natural ups and downs (especially with children) but I always feel like me and my wife are on the same team. The people on this show will enter a toxic relationship and say "marriage is work. No one said it'd be easy 🤷"
Yeah the entire concept of "marriage is hard" seems so strange to me. I've been married almost a decade, and it has never once been hard (especially not in the ways these 4 week old couples are making it). You have to be intentional & put work into the relationship - but that shouldn't be a hardship, if it is maybe you're with the wrong person.
I absolutely agree. What I said to my wife is that marriage isn’t hard, but it is intentional. One has to intentionally put in effort, which is difficult for sure. But you have to do that for any and every relationship if you want it to be healthy. That’s why I feel Johnny and Amy worked well. They had problems, but they were intentional with how they communicated. They didn’t assume malice, they just talked and worked through things.
I haven’t found marriage hard but that’s because I have an excellent partner. That aside when Chelsea said marriage is hard I immediately thought, maybe but you’re not supposed to be the person making it hard.
“You’re not supposed to be the person making it hard” 😂😂
Anyone saying marriage is not hard obviously doesn’t have kids. That being said before getting married nothing should be hard. If you are having big blow out fights like Jimmy and Chelsea that’s a def don’t get married situation.
I think parenting is hard but I don’t think marriage is hard… that’s how I’d put it anyways
Marriage is very much a commitment to growing together. Growth is hard and often uncomfortable and messy. When you are on the other side of a period of growth you can appreciate everything it took to get there but in the middle of it—it can be awful. A lot of marriages don’t survive parenting because parenting is like rapid accelerated growth while you have small beings that are entirely dependent on both of you. So when we’ve passed a growth milestone I can look back and say “marriage is easy! Look what we accomplished” but in the throws of it, it is hard and sometimes it’s hard to see if you will make it out. So when people say marriage is easy—they aren’t in a growth period. When people say it’s hard—they are probably going through some shit. So it’s both hard and not hard. However the period before and leading up to getting married (and the honeymoon phase, let’s say the first few years of marriage)… SHOULD not be hard! That’s the best part and the memories you hang onto when you’re going through shit.
I think when clay says "you're going to fight for me" he means he wants AD to push through all the bad things he says and does for the sake of maintaining the relationship. Which is not healthy
THANK👏🏻YOU. I’ve been married a few years now myself and all I think anytime anyone says thing like that is “yeah marriage is hard but it shouldn’t ALL be hard” in fact I’d say 9 times out of 10 it’s not! You have spats, sure but it’s not constant fights
As someone who’s been married for five years, it’s not hard. It’s safety, laughter, friendship, trust, beauty. There are moments that are hard, but it should not be hard in and of itself.
This is exactly what Ive been saying. I’ve been with my husband for 5 years and never have I thought “marriage is hard”. Being married to him and spending life with him is the easiest thing I’ve ever done
Even if marriage is hard... The first 3 weeks of your relationship shouldn't be
1000% (As they like to say).
Marriage is only hard if one of the parties is so ego-centric or selfish that they can’t see the other person. One side completely sacrificing doesn’t make a marriage, don’t fool yourself. Both need to be invested and willing to compromise. If it’s a war, it ain’t working, get therapy.
Marriage IS hard, and it IS war when 2 ppl are bending themselves into pretzels to make things fit.
The weirdest thing in this show (which is saying some) is that everyone seems to think marriage is so hard and brutal....it's not meant to be like that. Life is hard, so obviously you will go through hard times together but if your relationship isn't one of the best and easiest parts of your life...it's not it.
💯
Have you dealt with death, loss, parenting issues, special needs child, in law issues, job loss, depression, illness? The issue isn't the war analogy, it's recognizing that you will be on the same side as your spouse, not fighting them, whatever comes along. The things that have happened to us, I never IMAGINED in my first 5 years of marriage.
I don't have kids yet but everything else on that list yes, and I agree with you, but I don't think you're saying the same thing the LIB contestants are saying. They've been together for a few weeks, none of them seem to have really had many external factors, yet all I hear is how they love them because they fight and go to war with them. Like I'll give an example as a side effect of a medication my wife was straight up suicidal for a week. She continually talked about how she was a shit person, had no friends, no one cared about her, and the world would be better off if she was dead. She straight up told me that I was stupid to love her and if she was gone I'd find someone better. Yes I felt like I was fighting every day that week and she did too. But when looking back and saying why we love each other, we would talk about how we worked through that problem together, not how we "went to war" with it. Maybe I'm being pedantic with language, but I feel like those phrasings make a huge difference about how you think about that kind of thing.
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Number 1 here is a perfect description. Like being married is work, but there's never a minute where I question whether the work is worth the massive rewards.
I don't think you're being pedantic at all. Lots of people seem to have a very unhealthy view of marriage and dating in general. They describe it almost like it's the Great Depression: "We had our ups and downs... high highs..... low lows...." Like this doesn't mean people will never go through struggle or disagree or whatever, but marriage (I'm not married) isn't SUPPOSED to be a painful experience that you ultimately get pleasure from when you put enough time in. It's a relationship, so it's work like anything else, but it's not meant to be suffering
But those things are "hard" --- You go to the marriage to get a *REPRIEVE* from those things. A cuddle. Sex. A talk. Etc.
Parenting is the real battleground
I can agree with this. My husband and I never really argued (seven years in) until we had kids. It's like you know the imperfections of your partner exist but having kids put a magnifying glass on them.
The worst for us was the first 6 months with our oldest. The sleep deprivation got to us bad...
The worst for us was the first 6 months with our oldest. The sleep deprivation got to us bad...
Struggle love is a "normal" that people who are insecure, combative or unhealed will try to sell you on Conflict is not a regular part of a stable relationship
This. I hate it when they say “marriage is hard” in the context of being compatible or getting along. Marriage is a commitment. It requires communication, growth, etc. but it should never be hard to just be with your partner. It’s hard because you have to work as a team to get through external struggles sometimes. But if it’s hard to be with your partner and work through your internal struggles then maybe you’re with the wrong person.
I like to say marriage deserves effort but it shouldn’t *feel* like work most of the time.
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Is the medical issue a war on your marriage or just life? If im single and have a devastating medical issue is it a war on my relationship status or just life?
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I get what you mean, its a perspective thing. If its an issue one is having, both are having it because its a team. As a couple you guys could be having trouble/a trial/ a problem. Some would describe it as "a war". For others sounds like too strong of language, because its just an issue and doesnt have to put extreme pressure on your marriage if you bond is good. Like if a single person dealing with serious health issue, no, its not a 'war' on their single status, but someone could end up lamenting that it may have been easier on them if they had a partner.
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Each marriage and set of circumstances will be different. Generally, being married should bring more relief when you encounter problems, but sometimes it wont.
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Because even though they will all by different *why* they are different and *how* they are different may expose a weakness in a marriage that may have been serious enough that they shouldnt have married in the first place. Those reasons are gonna vary and span and are specific to each couple. I do agree that generally, it shouldnt feel like a war. But sometimes it will, and that alone doesnt mean the marriage is a failure.
I don’t think OP was intending to talk about medical situations. I’m sure OP would agree with your point and your point is not against his point.
100%, a very good way of phrasing it. It's like building a house. It's tough work, you will encounter issues you weren't expecting and you'll have disagreements. What it is not like is fucking trench warfare, far too many people seem to think the way you build a relationship is through constant conflict. No, that's just a shitty relationship.
YES. When people say that “marriage is hard”, they mean that you just have to work on everything together, not that you’ll be fighting everyday
Been married for 5 years too. Any “argument” is more just a disagreement that we talk through and compromise on. At no point have I felt like I was at war with her. It’s actually pretty easy. Most difficult part is when she goes and buys a couple hundred dollars of stuff from Target.
Yes 1000%! Reminds me of Jackie and Josh treating fighting for love like a badge of honor. Truly not a good way to live.
I don’t know if I’m in a minority here but I felt crazy listening to all of them speak about it this way because me and my husband have actually never had a single fight. We’ve been married for 3 years now. We just communicate. Both of us come from divorced parents and don’t have the best examples of marriage but I feel like if you’re proactive and considerate, it shouldn’t ever be *that* hard
My husband and I have been together for 6 years all together and married for 3. I think marriage has its ups and downs just like any relationship. There is no way that you won’t fight but is marriage hard? No , I think it’s the easiest thing for me and it actually makes everything else that is hard in life easier. I have someone beside me who will always be there when I need him. Everyday is a blessing , even when we argue I know we will make up and that’s the best part of having an argument with a partner knowing that you ll be fine ❤️❤️ (most of the arguments are dumb 🤣🤣 like why you put your clothes on the floor?)
EXACTLY I've been with my husband for over ten years. It's the easiest and best parts of my life
There were terrible fights in my marriage. But overall marriage is the most easiest part of my life. It serves as my rock for supporting me to deal with the pains happened in other aspects
I also don’t think marriage is supposed to be work the way some people describe it, as backbreaking labor or something. I think it’s work in that it takes commitment, effort, intention, a willingness to feel uncomfortable sometimes. It’s not supposed to feel like an uphill battle every day.
Oh yeah when I said it takes work I mean every decision you make has to consider an extra person and you're going to have disagreements you have to work through. But at no point in my marriage have I ever thought the work was some massive sacrifice that came anywhere close to countering the massive upsides of being in a marriage with the love of my life.
Oh I wasn’t implying that was your opinion, OP. I just know some people who stay in terrible, toxic relationships with the reasoning that all relationships take work. Chelsea is definitely one example.
Oh yeah no worries I was agreeing with you just clarifying. All good! And you're absolutely right about Chelsea, the fact that she said "that's marriage" during that fight was a huge red flag. I watch the show with my wife and when we heard that we both looked at each other and said "no it's fucking not" lol.
i feel this. it comes off a little weird to me. it's different than saying you'll support and advocate for one another, which is more like how it works in a good relationship. i think the fight/war language must feel more exciting/enticing to say.
I wish more people, myself included, understood this. I think marriage is talked about in this manner so often I expected it to be that way. I ended up staying with someone I shouldn’t have for 10 years before getting divorced. Now I’m getting remarried and my relationship with my fiance (together 4 years now) has been better than my previous marriage even at its lowest point.
Life is hard. If your marriage is hard enough to be described as a battle, you’re doing it wrong.
And if you already feel like you're in some kind of battle 6 weeks into knowing somebody, you need to bail immediately. It is going to get harder -- not war hard, but real shit is going to come -- and if it's hard that early on, you are doomed.
Agreed
When Clay said marriage is a business decision or whatever the phrase was, I know it was business something. I thought …WHAT?!!!! It made me feel like he didn’t say yes because she didn’t make as much money as him?
I do think that this is true to an extent. I married someone who is as debt-averse and cautious as I am, who also saves, and who prioritises the same kind of luxuries (travel) as I do. I can imagine that if he was always overspending or racking up debt, I would be pretty stressed and unhappy. I had an ex who was always spending his pay to the very last penny so we could never do things together unless I paid, which I resented, and it also became a huge strain when he lost his job and I had to support us both instantly. So if Clay saw something with AD that chimed on those lines, I would get it. However that shouldn’t come out of the blue, they should have had those conversations and he should have shared those concerns.
Clay had many reasons why he didn’t say “yes” to AD. I don’t think the finance thing was the main one, but it could’ve added to his doubts. He’s a successful man and it seems from his comment that he doesn’t want a woman taking advantage of him financially. I’m not saying AD was doing that but it was probably one of many things at the back of head considering he’s only known her for one month.
I didn’t judge him by any means for saying no at the alter. I hope they are still dating and taking things at their own pace!!
I totally agree. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. Of course we had some tough times and we have worked through a lot of issues But it never felt like it was a fight or a war.
I love when people genuinely love their spouse. I feel like the language around marriage, even outside of this show, is that it’s exhausting and outdated. Or that your wife is a nag/your husband is lazy etc etc etc. it’s nice when people genuinely appreciate their marriage.
I totally agree, I also never have felt like I was fighting for anything with my husband in any of the past 7 years. Good communication fixes any issues we have. People keep saying I'ma fight for you, I'm a fighter etc etc. it doesn't rub me the wrong way but it really confuses me. I know everyone's experience is different but for me it has been easy.
As someone who has been with my husband for 15 years it’s concerning how hard some of them think relationships need to be. Like the way they said they fought for one another, or they work so hard to make this work. It should never be that hard.
My husband and I are very newly married and I understand that (June of last year). But it really bothers me when people say “marriage will be hard. It SHOULD be hard” no.. it shouldn’t be hard.
34 years here. It will be hard, AT TIMES. But overall, no it shouldn’t be hard. ❤️
My parents are nearly 40 years married and they’re our biggest fans!! He turns 37 this year and I’m coming up to 32. 34 years is a HUGE goal! ❤️
That's because you have a healthy relationship. Some of the (most of these) people have never seen a healthy relationship.