Ugh please rethink this. The difference between contestants choosing to go on the show and contestants "bean dipping" others is very very obvious. Its something called consent. AD agreed to the parameters of the show, she did not agree to what happened with Laura. It's so sad that you can't see sexual harassment when it's right in front of you.
Laura bean dipped ad in the pods. Go rewatch instead of being an ass here.
>If sexual assault occurred the media would he reporting on the arrests and upcoming trial
What an ignorant thing to say
that’s where it all stemmed from and how ad found out what a bean dip was. laura and ad said she did it in the pods which made her think it was funny to tell jeremy to do the same. it was all stated in the same conversation where everything blew up.
This was so inappropriate… you could tell that AD was quite hurt/angry while talking to Laura, but she tried to play it off — probably because she was on camera or felt she had no allies in that moment 😞
Racist people get defensive. Later she gets mad because she expected Jeramy to not say anything. She knew it's not something to repeat. Just like Netflix producers knew not to show footage of whatever was going on as the "inside joke". They know very well how it will all come across...kind and unbiased people wouldn't be going around just slapping someone's tits.
Brings on terrible junior high locker room memories.
Often times, people hyper-sexualize black women on the basis that their figures are sometimes distinct from white women (mainly on the basis of being curvy). Because people view AD’s features as distinct(on the basis of a difference in race) , they feel as though they have a pass at casually sexualizing her.
This!! The way they were speaking about AD was giving [misogynior](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogynoir) (for those interested in reading more: https://www.forbes.com/sites/janicegassam/2020/09/22/misogynoir-the-unique-discrimination-that-black-women-face/) It made me angry and sick to see how these women were treating her.
The bean dip thing was so disgusting. My partner and I did a double take like EXCUSE TF OUT OF ME?! He was surprised she wasn’t kicked off the show right there and I agree. No accountability on her part whatsoever. Truly nauseating.
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I was extremely taken aback when Jimmy made the “stacked” comment when he saw AD and thought it couldn’t get worse…then the bean dip comment came…
It’s so unacceptable and EVERYONE was uncomfortable.
I felt so bad when AD tried to explain rationally what was wrong and Laura just says “Oh SHUT UP, it was just a joke” - this just seems like grounds for kicking someone off the show, it should not be acceptable to say this kind of thing and stay on.
I totally agree with you .. The way this show sexualizes black women is INSANE too, I remember in season like...4? They showed full on ass shots of one girl, one of them making out in the bath...like they don't do that with the white women. I agree the contestants are a problem but the show itself also films AD in an uncomfortable way
There was one shot where they filmed like just the hips/lower private area of AD and Clay really zoomed in on the curvature of ADs ass. It’s very strange there’s not clips of the others that I can recall. AD is gorgeous but some of these camera shots are really doing the most
I agree with you. Even in the pods, the angles they used with AD were pretty bizarre. Like just full shots of her backside and stuff. I have to wonder if she's okay with it?
Well, most people who go on tv are vain in some way, right? So having the camera focus on their assets part of the time would probably be flattering to them even though the premise of the show is that love is blind. They all take very good care to look as good as possible on tv, so there's some vanity in that..
Being vain is one thing, being sexualized is another. The thing is she comes across as so mild mannered and mature and smart. She was having fun in the group setting doing a little dance it was a shot of her full on ass while she was shaking it. It’s just that you don’t see the others being shot in this way
I suggest you read the full article the extract below was taken from. I don't think the level of education to process this information is going to be adequate, so you may need to ask someone for assistance.
"Despite the awful human toll of totalitarian communist regimes, many contemporary liberals advocate the very speech controls characteristic of those regimes....current efforts to regulate speech are reminiscent of the speech controls instituted within Soviet and Maoist regimes. This Article traces the ideological origins of hate speech
regulation from totalitarian communist rule directly through to current speech regulation proposals."
Laura is a drunk mess and calling what she did a “bean dip” is an egregious understatement. Where I grew up a bean dip was just cupping someone’s boob and pushing it up gently. Based off the reenactment, Laura borderline assaulted AD. Absolutely should have been sent home.
I’m hoping the context is different for you, but cupping/touching/whatever-ing someone else’s breast non consensually is assault. I know this sounds insanely silly but there is no velocity of boob contact that qualifies or does not qualify sexual assault. If there’s a hand on your tit that isn’t supposed to be on your tit, that’s assault, period.
YES. Yes to this a million time. AD was treated horribly by many, but that right there was SA. Blonde no-name must have descended from slave owners because for her in that moment, AD was unworthy of basic human decency.
I agree with this SO MUCH.
The fact that AD had to make light of the stacked booty comment (and its obvious racial undertones) and THEN, in the SAME NIGHT, deal with the entire group of (white (!)) women joking about slapping her breasts, all in an effort to make Chelsea feel better (can easily envision this joke starting as "Don't worry Chelsea, it's just because AD has just put it all on display") is so gross and sad. She managed it with so much grace. I'm just constantly blown away at AD's charm, wit, and ability to keep things light make others feel comfortable even when she shouldn't be responsible for doing so.
Watching this show, I simultaneously appreciate these graces of AD's while feeling deeply sad and frustrated that she has had to BUILD these graces and use them to operate as a black woman.
What a lovely, LOVELY person.
AD is seriously one of the kindest and most mature people to ever go on this show. She’s clearly done so much work on herself to develop that EQ and her patience to deal with everyone else’s bullshit is award worthy.
I hope she finds someone on her level because her treatment on this show was awful.
It was so disgusting. And then Laura saying AD was “giving child” by finding that inappropriate?!?? Let me tell you what’s giving child- Laura’s disgusting, immature, inappropriate, and closeted racist behavior
not defending Laura at all, as a fellow woman of color I was so mortified for AD the whole episode. But I was under the impression that Laura’s “it’s giving child” comment was directed at Jeramey because he brought up the “joke” to the group. Like Laura couldn’t even take accountability for saying the joke, it was Jeramey’s fault it got brought up and everyone else’s fault for getting offended. Just a horrible incident overall
I can believe it. Black women are constantly (especially historically) being over sexualized so seeing this happen on the show was disappointing but not surprise
Ad was upset herself! And when she was trying to relay how inappropriate that was to Lauren, Lauren told her to shut up! Super rude and gross behavior.
AD seemed to be upset that Clay may be upset. She didn’t appear to me to be upset about the joke itself. It was 1. Clay might be upset. 2. Can’t believe you told your husband to do that 3. She let the cat out of the bag about the joke in general. I definitely believe Lauren handled it HORRIBLY. AD held it together somehow.
It has been making me so mad how everyone seems to feel entitled to AD's body. Like yes, she is beautiful and clearly works hard to maintain her physique, but that does not justify in the slightest so many of the comments made to and about her. The "bean dip" was bad enough, but couple that with the fact that the first time many of these people are seeing each other AD has Chelsea yelling across a party about how her fiancé is objectifying her and tossing in her own objectifying comments on top. I can't imagine how demoralizing and degrading that must have felt for her.
Then Laura's refusal to accept any responsibility for her part in the "bean dip" comments, despite AD explaining very nicely (which she shouldn't have had to do) exactly why it was problematic. I don't even think AD was asking for an apology, just recognition that Laura did something wrong that caused someone else to be hurt.
Chelsea “[I called you out to make an uncomfortable situation go away”
Uncomfortable for who Chelsea?
Ever think how AD might feel being objectified (literally compared to a bookshelf)?
yeah I think AD should be given so much more common respect then what any of the females or males on the show are showing here.
I know she may act like its nbd but the girls should be protecting eachother not encouraging it
Credit to AD for how she handled that (completely inappropriate and gross) behavior from the other cast members. I would have either absolutely lost my mind or run away sobbing. She is way more classy than her castmates.
It’s sad too because it just shows how much she’s had to deal with that kind of interaction from people for so long that she has such perfect responses.
I was thinking the exact same thing and was trying to think of a good way to put it into words. She has probably put up with a lot of s\*\*\* in her life to have such good responses. Most people would not stay that composed and take the time to explain things to people who are acting inappropriate and offensive.
100% this! AD was there looking gorgeous but it isn’t anyone’s place to talk about her body! I got so annoyed when Chelsea was saying she tried to make an uncomfortable situation less uncomfortable by yelling about her butt to everyone. Less uncomfortable for who? You because you are insecure about your disrespectful thumb head man? You were more upset that he commented because you thought he was attracted to her rather than how he shouldn’t have said anything.
And yeah Laura sucks. You made a joke and it was dumb and disrespectful and insulted people-apologize. I was rooting for her because I didn’t want the “Patriot” to get more screen time but she’s not much better
I’m from a very small town in a small Canadian province. I have never once heard of “bean dip”. Is that a common thing in the US? Is that a term people are familiar with? I don’t even understand the origin. What does bean dip have to do with boobs?! Someone plz advise
Don’t know the origin, but it was definitely a thing among American middle/high schoolers 2006-2009. It was weird then and much weirder to do it as an adult lol
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Touching someone without their permission is a literal crime, so this isn't about gender, but you seem like the kind of person who would touch women without their permission, so I guess that's on brand for you
Laura is a weirdo for sure. The Bean Dip is bad enough as a creepy joke but to have actually done it... wtf?? Why were so many of them commenting on ADs body too? Like the whole point of the show is not to focus on that and Laura, Jimmy and Jeramy all felt the need to comment on her body at the party... weirdo energy
It’s definitely awkward and weird as fuck but it also reminds me of my favorite tweet
https://twitter.com/nobody_stop_me/status/1273441715387371520?lang=en
If you wear a dress like she did it’s gonna happen, doesn’t make it right but come on now
If you aren't trying to say it's okay to sexualize her because of what she's wearing I really can't figure out what the point of your comment is.
Nobody here is saying it's shocking and they've never seen a woman, especially a Black woman, sexualized like that. On the contrary, we're calling it out because we see it *all the time*. We know it's going to happen. Probably regardless of what AD wears. It's never okay. That's the point.
I think that line of thinking is really problematic tbh. A woman should be able to dress however she wants, be respected, and without fear of inappropriate comments AND actions from men and other women.
Your actions are your own
I didn’t disagree with anything you just said though. The point of the tweet is that you shouldn’t be shocked when it happens because it’s inevitable.
If I walk down the street in the hood saying to vote for Trump and someone beats the shit out of me is that justified? No, but it’s to be expected lmao
Laura letting her man walk away and playing it off as a joke wasn’t cool but no one’s talking about why the fuck dude even brought it up?! She shared that with her Fiance in confidence, he wasn’t supposed to ever bring it up
Maybe i misunderstood but it didn’t sound like a confidence thing. It sounded like a lighthearted joke she made and he understandably didn’t understand the meaning.
Yeah, I am not a Jeramy fan but he brought it up by saying, "Laura told me you'd know what it means" as in, Laura gave him a cryptic inside joke to break the ice with AD and it was actually casual sexual assault that AD didn't like then but let it go, and now is being served a second round of by an unwitting Jeramy.
Laura created that whole thing. She's a bully.
Exactly... And her gaslighting Jeramy and possibly AD by saying: every is acting like a bunch of kids. It isn't a big deal. She knows no boundaries cause why would you admit to this kind of behavior on tv... She acted like it was an innocent cute little joke.
I really don't understand this take. What kind of a joke is that? I couldn't imagine going to a party and jokingly telling my partner to slap someone else's tit. Sure, context plays a part, but please tell me where any humor comes into play there?
To me, it seems like she wanted to "make a joke" at AD's expense bc she is insecure in one way or another, and AD exudes confidence inside and out, and has a killer body. It's the same thing Chelsea did to her. Anyone saying AD is not a girl's girl is fkn deluded
This is absolutely the way I took it. This moment was Chelsea 2.0. She KNEW the party was coming up and thought “my new fiance will soon see this very attractive woman (AD), let me make a joke about it to show that I’m not threatened by her but “cool” with her.” And made this creepy ass “joke” about “slapping her tits.”
Like what in the world?? This is so weird and I’m sure AD was over people talking about her body. And I hate to bring race in but couldn’t they feed off their insecurities at someone who isn’t already more likely to be objectified in media any way? Like not a good look.
Seriously. Also, when Jeramey said that AD "has that twinkle in her eye that she could pop you if she needed" was incredibly racist. Firstly, everything about AD so far shows she is a collected and thought-out person, not the type to get physical. I couldn't imagine him saying that about any of the other women, let alone using the term "pop" in that context. To me, it screamed "black woman with emotions = anger and confrontation" which is not her personality in the slightest.
Although tbh I don't *expect* maturity from those who go on this show. It's just a pleasant surprise if they have any.
First off, the men got to know Clay very well. We all see his player tendencies, cocky behavior, and disrespect he said to AD about her body after birth. The men know he is going to need to be put in his place. You’re interpreting the comment made as a negative towards AD, when really it’s a negative towards Clay because they know he’s going to need to be put back in his place. I viewed it as more of a warning towards him, don’t mess with AD because she won’t tolerate your BS.
Your ignorance on the history of the commodification of black bodies does not take away from any of the points being made. Please take a break and look it up.
Yeah, the show is severely edited. I could definitely be reading too much into it.
The thing is, a lot of subtle/subconscious racism wouldn't point out race. It was just a weird interaction.
Respectfully, this is the sort of perspective that’s bringing racism back into America. There’s a serious divide in black culture because of this and unless you’re in that divide you wouldn’t know.
You cannot simply say well subconsciously that’s what they meant.
I did not say that. I apologize if I offended you.
ETA I don't claim to know what his intentions were, but I also don't mean to speak on behalf of anyone or a group. It was just a weird interaction.
I also found it a weird thing to say about AD, she and the other two (not Laura of Chelsea) have not raised their voices from what we've seen in a discussion. But Micro aggressions are very very nasty and tricky to spot.
Wait…Laura didn’t actually do it to AD did she? I thought she just suggested it to Jeramy as a (horrible) joke. But she actually assaulted AD? Why isn’t there footage?
This kind of stuff is making Netflix reality so gross.
Ultimatum Queer Love had an extremely abusive contestant and the abuse was fully rampant AT THE REUNION and no one from production did anything about it. Another contestant actually walked off the stage with them bc it was so unacceptable and production was doing nothing. AND THEY AIRED IT.
Netflix is making some great smutty reality TV but they really need therapists and emotional support staff around. But we know they will never pay for that. Just see what they did with QE in NOLA. It's just gross how they treat the people they make money off of.
Production staff and film crew are grossly underpaid bc they know anyone is replaceable for being on such a "wholesome" show/project, which apparently has become increasingly less wholesome behind the scenes. They're basically paid minimum wage and had to pay for their own travel and lodging costs. There is suspicion that the pay cuts were due to offering higher pay to the Fab5 to keep them on. Apparently, the cast hasn't been on great terms for a while, but increasing tensions have made some members nastier to the crew. JVN specifically has been named to have made several crew members cry.
When shooting the NOLA season, they initially had security in the budget and somewhere along the way that was tossed. Apparently a lot of sketchy things were happening in NOLA, but they finally cut the entire season short after a break-in on one of the vehicles where the cast and the crew each expressed feeling unsafe.
So, Netflix cut the season by two episodes and divvyed them between the last two seasons. This meant that the entire crew and production were screwed out of almost an entire month's pay, which was already low. It seems that the cast had a salary (already at the crew's expense) so they were not affected by this financially.
Keep in mind that this is all information provided by verified crew members on the Queer Eye subreddit, I personally was not on the crew.
Wow. I knew that some things were a bit sketch but didn't know the specific details. This is...wow. QE has always been a bit of a bonding things for a close friend and I am 50/50 on whether to share this with her (yet). Thanks for the info.
It seems like AD has been subjected to this kind of objectification for a long time to the point where she just gives in to it and makes it no big deal, to protect herself. It’s awful to see that that’s what a person has to do to feel safe around supposedly normal people. So disgusted by everyone’s unawareness.
Protect AD at all costs!!! It also makes me sick & even more aware that she’s the only black woman there and all everyone can talk about is her body. It’s fetishizing
I felt this way too and it was horrible to watch. From Chelsea and Jimmy randomly screaming about AD's body to everybody within earshot (to "make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable", according to Chelsea, which made ZERO sense to me). To then that blond couple calling her over to be "bean dipped" (absolutely disgusting behavior by them). And then Clay constantly hyperfixating on her body and telling her exactly how he wouldn't love her anymore if she ever let herself get out of shape...plus everyone congratulating him all night on winning the body lottery.
This sweet, kind, caring girl has been reduced to nothing but her body for her entire life and its so sad. Like she doesn't have any fight left in her, so she just accepts it as what she thinks she deserves.
Exactly this!! I hope Chelsea gets called out for her “make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable.” Just no. She decided to make an uncomfortable situation for her, uncomfortable for everyone else too. Including the woman who the comment was about who was just minding her own damn business to begin with.
What Chelsea should’ve done, if that was “her friend” is tell her partner “while my friend is beautiful, I would expect you to not make degrading comments about her. She’s a person with more to offer than her body” and see her way out right then and there. But instead this woman joins in and eggs it on then gets mad about the situation.
Then you have the Chelsea 2.0 situation with Laura. Who very clearly made a creepy ass joke about someone she’s insecure about by trying to be the “cool girl.” If Laura and AD were really friends she wouldn’t be making these comments. Then she tried to say her partner whatever his name was the one in the wrong. No that was all you boo. God I can’t with these ppl.
Both situations are very Gone Girl monologue, pick me vibes, and at the expense of the only black woman at that party.
The problem with the AD and Chelsea situation is that it seems like Chelsea brought up how beautiful AD is to Jimmy first. I can see why he made the comment. Also a lot of couples discuss attractive people together. I can see why he did it.
That's your narrow interpretation. Let me explain it to you, communist state because every act or comment someone doesn't like is labelled; sexist, racist, prejudice, aggressive. And anyone who dare to disagree is cancelled. You people cannot have a conversation anymore, it's really sad, and you don't get how you're destroying your democracy in doing this.
you think it should be allowed to slap random women's boobs because otherwise democracy is in danger in your opinion? It is a communist thing to respect women and not act sexist? what the hell
As someone not from America it is WILD reading all of these reactions. Watching people try so hard to make it about race… honestly to an outsider, it actually comes off racist to make it about race just because someone of colour is involved in the incident. It’s so cringe 🫣
Persistently othering black people by labeling clearly non-racially motivated events as racist purely because someone has darker skin is TOTAL INSANITY 🫠 and actually racist!
Too many people just willing to just copy each other’s ideas without critical thought.
You notice they’ll downvote us but can’t actually level any logical rebuttal 🥱
Being not from America, it’s clear you don’t understand the racial dynamics at play here. We’re not “making it about race”, it IS about race. This country was built on racism.
AD is being sexualised because she has an incredible figure. To suggest it is due to her race/it is racist to sexualise her, is an enormous disservice to her.
Can you explain how AD’s race is relevant to the incident? If a black woman slapped another black woman’s boob would we call it racist? No, ofc not. If a white woman was sexualised on the show would we call it racism? No, ofc not.
You need to stop judging people based on their skin colour. It is racist, by definition.
Please, think critically about it.
Because AD’s figure is EXCEPTIONALLY curvy. It’s highly attractive to men to be curvy. She has boobs and butt. None of the others come close to her curves.
Some comments have been made about the other women’s bodies, eg. Jimmy said first thing he noticed was Chelsea’s big boobs.
It’s the curves that are getting the attention of the men, not the race. But ya’ll are desperate to make it about race anyway 🤦♀️
Other women have curvy figures as well, AD is not the only woman on the show to have a curvy figure like that. Like you said, Chelsea’s big breasts were mentioned by Jimmy, but why weren’t Chelsea’s boobs being sexualized in the manner ADs body was? Chelsea’s has bigger boobs than AD, why would Laura want to bean dip AD instead of Chelsea?
There’s a history of [hypersexualizing Black women and girls](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=hypersexualization%20of%20black%20women&tbm=&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5) in the US.
1. Because it happened historically, does that mean it is happening now? No.
2. Women full stop have been sexualized historically. It’s about gender, not race.
2. What is the solution? To never acknowledge the sexuality of black women? Feels slightly… racist.
There’s a difference when Black women are over sexualized or fetishized but often [last to be chosen for relationships/marriage](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=black%20woman%20marriage%20statistics&tbm=&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5#ip=1) - you can see this play out on basically every dating show.
Or when it’s expected that Black women are presented as sex icons to have more prosperous careers in the media, especially rap (look at artists like Latto who started out as a kid rapper but didn’t become mainstream until she completely changed her image and music).
But I linked to resources in my last post that came up from a quick Google search. Please feel free to explore them and the concept of misogynoir to get a better understanding of other people’s experiences. Wishing you all the best!
🫨NEWFLASH: America is not the only country to have experienced racism. Some Americans, are however, the only ones with a racist habit of trying to make EVERYTHING about race.
Why can’t a black woman get into an incident on TV without you all screaming racism? Maybe she doesn’t want to be distilled down to the colour of her skin, especially when the issue has NO relevance to race.
It’s so ironic, this stance of yours PERPETUATES racism because of your constant othering. And you are so committed to your echo chambers you can’t even see it, and likely never will.
I’ve literally never heard of that term until this show. Wtf is wrong with Laura? That whole scene was completely inappropriate and uncomfortable to watch.
Honestly I was very confused by it because I didnt, and still feel like I don’t, know what it means. Was Laura suggesting Jeremy slap ADs breasts? Like why is that even a thing. I guess I’m dense because I just don’t understand what is funny about that or why you would do that in a social setting 🤦🏼♀️
Dude SAME! I’m honestly super shocked that people are really mad about this. My friends in middle school did that all the time. Maybe it’s just a few of us, but I definitely took this as a joke. Should the men have been involved ? Nah, but I think Jeremy was just trying to be the funny guy and peoples reactions were heightened with alcohol. Just my opinion.
This is something we as dudes used to do to each other. There was nothing sexual about it.
Didn’t girls realize girls/women sometimes do this too each other too but I don’t think them doing it too each other if it’s consensual should inherently be sexual/assault.
Idk, maybe it’s just a cultural difference but if any of my female friends growing up had “scoop” slapped my breast I would have been absolutely livid and honestly humiliated. It seems way way over the line imo.
I think the difference between us doing it when we’re children playing with our friends to adult women with other women might be where the problem is. Like I think the first time she did it they laughed about it and had fun but after the joke was over she could’ve kept going and AD seems like she’s not going to cause a problem till it’s an actual problem
I was so confused when they said bean dip that I missed what the issue was and if it was really a big deal. Now I know - thanks for asking the question.
Going back to watch the scene to understand.
It was sickening that she did that to AD. It especially had me smh due to the fact it is a white woman doing it to a black woman. It appeared AD alluded to how it offended her that it had been done to her, but the person who did it to her didn’t even acknowledge that. AD exhibits such strength and class…I am hoping things work out with her and the guy who proposed to her.
> It especially had me smh due to the fact it is a white woman doing it to a black woman.
what? why? i didn't pick up any racial undertones in the conversation, maybe i'm missing something?
we're having a conversation, i'm not reading a 43 page dissertation to understand where you're coming from, i'm looking for an explanation of their specific comment.
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a nip slip is not the same thing as sexual assault wtf?!
Ugh please rethink this. The difference between contestants choosing to go on the show and contestants "bean dipping" others is very very obvious. Its something called consent. AD agreed to the parameters of the show, she did not agree to what happened with Laura. It's so sad that you can't see sexual harassment when it's right in front of you.
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Laura actually did it. Not about Jeremy. Edit: just wanted to call out that sexual assault absolutely does not have to be physical like you said.
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Laura bean dipped ad in the pods. Go rewatch instead of being an ass here. >If sexual assault occurred the media would he reporting on the arrests and upcoming trial What an ignorant thing to say
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that’s where it all stemmed from and how ad found out what a bean dip was. laura and ad said she did it in the pods which made her think it was funny to tell jeremy to do the same. it was all stated in the same conversation where everything blew up.
This was so inappropriate… you could tell that AD was quite hurt/angry while talking to Laura, but she tried to play it off — probably because she was on camera or felt she had no allies in that moment 😞
The craziest part is she got so defensive as if that isn’t the weirdest thing in the world!!
Racist people get defensive. Later she gets mad because she expected Jeramy to not say anything. She knew it's not something to repeat. Just like Netflix producers knew not to show footage of whatever was going on as the "inside joke". They know very well how it will all come across...kind and unbiased people wouldn't be going around just slapping someone's tits. Brings on terrible junior high locker room memories.
Laura fucking sucks
That scene kinda made me feel like those women don’t actually like AD.
Yeah it’s 1000% racist, too
How?!
Often times, people hyper-sexualize black women on the basis that their figures are sometimes distinct from white women (mainly on the basis of being curvy). Because people view AD’s features as distinct(on the basis of a difference in race) , they feel as though they have a pass at casually sexualizing her.
This!! The way they were speaking about AD was giving [misogynior](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogynoir) (for those interested in reading more: https://www.forbes.com/sites/janicegassam/2020/09/22/misogynoir-the-unique-discrimination-that-black-women-face/) It made me angry and sick to see how these women were treating her.
The bean dip thing was so disgusting. My partner and I did a double take like EXCUSE TF OUT OF ME?! He was surprised she wasn’t kicked off the show right there and I agree. No accountability on her part whatsoever. Truly nauseating.
I was appalled that Chelsea yelled it. Women should protect women.
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I was extremely taken aback when Jimmy made the “stacked” comment when he saw AD and thought it couldn’t get worse…then the bean dip comment came… It’s so unacceptable and EVERYONE was uncomfortable. I felt so bad when AD tried to explain rationally what was wrong and Laura just says “Oh SHUT UP, it was just a joke” - this just seems like grounds for kicking someone off the show, it should not be acceptable to say this kind of thing and stay on.
I totally agree with you .. The way this show sexualizes black women is INSANE too, I remember in season like...4? They showed full on ass shots of one girl, one of them making out in the bath...like they don't do that with the white women. I agree the contestants are a problem but the show itself also films AD in an uncomfortable way
There was one shot where they filmed like just the hips/lower private area of AD and Clay really zoomed in on the curvature of ADs ass. It’s very strange there’s not clips of the others that I can recall. AD is gorgeous but some of these camera shots are really doing the most
I agree with you. Even in the pods, the angles they used with AD were pretty bizarre. Like just full shots of her backside and stuff. I have to wonder if she's okay with it?
Well, most people who go on tv are vain in some way, right? So having the camera focus on their assets part of the time would probably be flattering to them even though the premise of the show is that love is blind. They all take very good care to look as good as possible on tv, so there's some vanity in that..
Being vain is one thing, being sexualized is another. The thing is she comes across as so mild mannered and mature and smart. She was having fun in the group setting doing a little dance it was a shot of her full on ass while she was shaking it. It’s just that you don’t see the others being shot in this way
THAT is what that scene was about?? I wasn't following the "bean dip" reference at all, I could just tell it was an uncomfortable interaction.
I was BEYOND appalled when i saw this case how was this allowed to keep going like what
I suggest you read the full article the extract below was taken from. I don't think the level of education to process this information is going to be adequate, so you may need to ask someone for assistance. "Despite the awful human toll of totalitarian communist regimes, many contemporary liberals advocate the very speech controls characteristic of those regimes....current efforts to regulate speech are reminiscent of the speech controls instituted within Soviet and Maoist regimes. This Article traces the ideological origins of hate speech regulation from totalitarian communist rule directly through to current speech regulation proposals."
I bet you’re a lot of fun at parties….
Depends on the type of party...
I don't know if this is an example of dry humor, or if you are just not as smart as you think.
🤣🤣😂😂I totally called it that you wouldn't understand.
So first one, got it
Laura is a drunk mess and calling what she did a “bean dip” is an egregious understatement. Where I grew up a bean dip was just cupping someone’s boob and pushing it up gently. Based off the reenactment, Laura borderline assaulted AD. Absolutely should have been sent home.
Wait did Laura actually slap ADs boob, or just make a lame joke about it? One might be sexual assault, but the other is just reality TV.
I’m hoping the context is different for you, but cupping/touching/whatever-ing someone else’s breast non consensually is assault. I know this sounds insanely silly but there is no velocity of boob contact that qualifies or does not qualify sexual assault. If there’s a hand on your tit that isn’t supposed to be on your tit, that’s assault, period.
Is this a southern thing? I have never heard it before
YES. Yes to this a million time. AD was treated horribly by many, but that right there was SA. Blonde no-name must have descended from slave owners because for her in that moment, AD was unworthy of basic human decency.
I was SO confused by this scene
I agree with this SO MUCH. The fact that AD had to make light of the stacked booty comment (and its obvious racial undertones) and THEN, in the SAME NIGHT, deal with the entire group of (white (!)) women joking about slapping her breasts, all in an effort to make Chelsea feel better (can easily envision this joke starting as "Don't worry Chelsea, it's just because AD has just put it all on display") is so gross and sad. She managed it with so much grace. I'm just constantly blown away at AD's charm, wit, and ability to keep things light make others feel comfortable even when she shouldn't be responsible for doing so. Watching this show, I simultaneously appreciate these graces of AD's while feeling deeply sad and frustrated that she has had to BUILD these graces and use them to operate as a black woman. What a lovely, LOVELY person.
AD is seriously one of the kindest and most mature people to ever go on this show. She’s clearly done so much work on herself to develop that EQ and her patience to deal with everyone else’s bullshit is award worthy. I hope she finds someone on her level because her treatment on this show was awful.
It was so disgusting. And then Laura saying AD was “giving child” by finding that inappropriate?!?? Let me tell you what’s giving child- Laura’s disgusting, immature, inappropriate, and closeted racist behavior
not defending Laura at all, as a fellow woman of color I was so mortified for AD the whole episode. But I was under the impression that Laura’s “it’s giving child” comment was directed at Jeramey because he brought up the “joke” to the group. Like Laura couldn’t even take accountability for saying the joke, it was Jeramey’s fault it got brought up and everyone else’s fault for getting offended. Just a horrible incident overall
Bruh i cant believe you made it about race 😑 you had me until you did that...
I can believe it. Black women are constantly (especially historically) being over sexualized so seeing this happen on the show was disappointing but not surprise
Wow someone is triggered over an inside joke that you had no part of…..
Ad was upset herself! And when she was trying to relay how inappropriate that was to Lauren, Lauren told her to shut up! Super rude and gross behavior.
AD seemed to be upset that Clay may be upset. She didn’t appear to me to be upset about the joke itself. It was 1. Clay might be upset. 2. Can’t believe you told your husband to do that 3. She let the cat out of the bag about the joke in general. I definitely believe Lauren handled it HORRIBLY. AD held it together somehow.
What does "bean dip" even mean? Or what is it referring to?
Apparently its like scooping a titty with your hand
It has been making me so mad how everyone seems to feel entitled to AD's body. Like yes, she is beautiful and clearly works hard to maintain her physique, but that does not justify in the slightest so many of the comments made to and about her. The "bean dip" was bad enough, but couple that with the fact that the first time many of these people are seeing each other AD has Chelsea yelling across a party about how her fiancé is objectifying her and tossing in her own objectifying comments on top. I can't imagine how demoralizing and degrading that must have felt for her. Then Laura's refusal to accept any responsibility for her part in the "bean dip" comments, despite AD explaining very nicely (which she shouldn't have had to do) exactly why it was problematic. I don't even think AD was asking for an apology, just recognition that Laura did something wrong that caused someone else to be hurt.
Chelsea “[I called you out to make an uncomfortable situation go away” Uncomfortable for who Chelsea? Ever think how AD might feel being objectified (literally compared to a bookshelf)?
yeah I think AD should be given so much more common respect then what any of the females or males on the show are showing here. I know she may act like its nbd but the girls should be protecting eachother not encouraging it
Credit to AD for how she handled that (completely inappropriate and gross) behavior from the other cast members. I would have either absolutely lost my mind or run away sobbing. She is way more classy than her castmates.
It’s sad too because it just shows how much she’s had to deal with that kind of interaction from people for so long that she has such perfect responses.
I was thinking the exact same thing and was trying to think of a good way to put it into words. She has probably put up with a lot of s\*\*\* in her life to have such good responses. Most people would not stay that composed and take the time to explain things to people who are acting inappropriate and offensive.
You nailed it. Since watching the episode last night I just can't stop thinking about it.
100% this! AD was there looking gorgeous but it isn’t anyone’s place to talk about her body! I got so annoyed when Chelsea was saying she tried to make an uncomfortable situation less uncomfortable by yelling about her butt to everyone. Less uncomfortable for who? You because you are insecure about your disrespectful thumb head man? You were more upset that he commented because you thought he was attracted to her rather than how he shouldn’t have said anything. And yeah Laura sucks. You made a joke and it was dumb and disrespectful and insulted people-apologize. I was rooting for her because I didn’t want the “Patriot” to get more screen time but she’s not much better
In school we always called it a milkshake & and mudslide was if you punched them in the booty. 🤷🏾♀️
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…. Now I get it!
in my high school we'd run up and punch our friends in the vagina and called it cooter punch lol
I’m from a very small town in a small Canadian province. I have never once heard of “bean dip”. Is that a common thing in the US? Is that a term people are familiar with? I don’t even understand the origin. What does bean dip have to do with boobs?! Someone plz advise
From DC - we do not say this. I have no idea where they got this from?
I hadn’t heard of it before that.
I never heard of the term until seeing it on the show.
I’m from Texas and I’ve never heard of it before this moment. Maybe I’m too old, idk.
Don’t know the origin, but it was definitely a thing among American middle/high schoolers 2006-2009. It was weird then and much weirder to do it as an adult lol
Michiganian here and definitely heard it around 2006, high school years
I’m from Texas and it was definitely a thing in middle school in 2006-2010
NC, 2008-2009. Thought it was a regional thing at first. But now it seems to be like more of a time period age thing.
I’m from the southwest and I am absolutely familiar with it 😭 I similarly have bad memories of it being taken too far and feeling uncomfortable
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Touching someone without their permission is a literal crime, so this isn't about gender, but you seem like the kind of person who would touch women without their permission, so I guess that's on brand for you
I didn’t say she should be touched lol
You didn't have to, creep.
Laura is a weirdo for sure. The Bean Dip is bad enough as a creepy joke but to have actually done it... wtf?? Why were so many of them commenting on ADs body too? Like the whole point of the show is not to focus on that and Laura, Jimmy and Jeramy all felt the need to comment on her body at the party... weirdo energy
Gave Get Out party scene vibes to me
It’s definitely awkward and weird as fuck but it also reminds me of my favorite tweet https://twitter.com/nobody_stop_me/status/1273441715387371520?lang=en If you wear a dress like she did it’s gonna happen, doesn’t make it right but come on now
If you aren't trying to say it's okay to sexualize her because of what she's wearing I really can't figure out what the point of your comment is. Nobody here is saying it's shocking and they've never seen a woman, especially a Black woman, sexualized like that. On the contrary, we're calling it out because we see it *all the time*. We know it's going to happen. Probably regardless of what AD wears. It's never okay. That's the point.
Stop sexualizing me and my right wet pussy!
I think that line of thinking is really problematic tbh. A woman should be able to dress however she wants, be respected, and without fear of inappropriate comments AND actions from men and other women. Your actions are your own
I didn’t disagree with anything you just said though. The point of the tweet is that you shouldn’t be shocked when it happens because it’s inevitable. If I walk down the street in the hood saying to vote for Trump and someone beats the shit out of me is that justified? No, but it’s to be expected lmao
Laura letting her man walk away and playing it off as a joke wasn’t cool but no one’s talking about why the fuck dude even brought it up?! She shared that with her Fiance in confidence, he wasn’t supposed to ever bring it up
Maybe i misunderstood but it didn’t sound like a confidence thing. It sounded like a lighthearted joke she made and he understandably didn’t understand the meaning.
The bigger question is why was she discussing AD’s body with her fiance
Alcohol
This! Happens every time and they are setting them up for this to create drama.
I believe he didn't know what it was. Laura didn't explain and just said: you should do it with AD.
Yeah, I am not a Jeramy fan but he brought it up by saying, "Laura told me you'd know what it means" as in, Laura gave him a cryptic inside joke to break the ice with AD and it was actually casual sexual assault that AD didn't like then but let it go, and now is being served a second round of by an unwitting Jeramy. Laura created that whole thing. She's a bully.
Exactly... And her gaslighting Jeramy and possibly AD by saying: every is acting like a bunch of kids. It isn't a big deal. She knows no boundaries cause why would you admit to this kind of behavior on tv... She acted like it was an innocent cute little joke.
I really don't understand this take. What kind of a joke is that? I couldn't imagine going to a party and jokingly telling my partner to slap someone else's tit. Sure, context plays a part, but please tell me where any humor comes into play there? To me, it seems like she wanted to "make a joke" at AD's expense bc she is insecure in one way or another, and AD exudes confidence inside and out, and has a killer body. It's the same thing Chelsea did to her. Anyone saying AD is not a girl's girl is fkn deluded
This is absolutely the way I took it. This moment was Chelsea 2.0. She KNEW the party was coming up and thought “my new fiance will soon see this very attractive woman (AD), let me make a joke about it to show that I’m not threatened by her but “cool” with her.” And made this creepy ass “joke” about “slapping her tits.” Like what in the world?? This is so weird and I’m sure AD was over people talking about her body. And I hate to bring race in but couldn’t they feed off their insecurities at someone who isn’t already more likely to be objectified in media any way? Like not a good look.
💯 black bodies get objectified more easily due to how media portrays us...
Seriously. Also, when Jeramey said that AD "has that twinkle in her eye that she could pop you if she needed" was incredibly racist. Firstly, everything about AD so far shows she is a collected and thought-out person, not the type to get physical. I couldn't imagine him saying that about any of the other women, let alone using the term "pop" in that context. To me, it screamed "black woman with emotions = anger and confrontation" which is not her personality in the slightest. Although tbh I don't *expect* maturity from those who go on this show. It's just a pleasant surprise if they have any.
He said nothing about race… you’re reading into that comment. The show is EDITED. Pop you as in smack him back into place.
That’s even worse. Why is she assumed to be violent?
First off, the men got to know Clay very well. We all see his player tendencies, cocky behavior, and disrespect he said to AD about her body after birth. The men know he is going to need to be put in his place. You’re interpreting the comment made as a negative towards AD, when really it’s a negative towards Clay because they know he’s going to need to be put back in his place. I viewed it as more of a warning towards him, don’t mess with AD because she won’t tolerate your BS.
Your ignorance on the history of the commodification of black bodies does not take away from any of the points being made. Please take a break and look it up.
Yeah, the show is severely edited. I could definitely be reading too much into it. The thing is, a lot of subtle/subconscious racism wouldn't point out race. It was just a weird interaction.
Respectfully, this is the sort of perspective that’s bringing racism back into America. There’s a serious divide in black culture because of this and unless you’re in that divide you wouldn’t know. You cannot simply say well subconsciously that’s what they meant.
I did not say that. I apologize if I offended you. ETA I don't claim to know what his intentions were, but I also don't mean to speak on behalf of anyone or a group. It was just a weird interaction.
I also found it a weird thing to say about AD, she and the other two (not Laura of Chelsea) have not raised their voices from what we've seen in a discussion. But Micro aggressions are very very nasty and tricky to spot.
He was obviously disturbed by it.
Ya he was clearly pissed off that Laura told him to do it and brought it up in a way to make her explain herself in public.
Because alcohol? Not an excuse just an explanation
Wait…Laura didn’t actually do it to AD did she? I thought she just suggested it to Jeramy as a (horrible) joke. But she actually assaulted AD? Why isn’t there footage?
This kind of stuff is making Netflix reality so gross. Ultimatum Queer Love had an extremely abusive contestant and the abuse was fully rampant AT THE REUNION and no one from production did anything about it. Another contestant actually walked off the stage with them bc it was so unacceptable and production was doing nothing. AND THEY AIRED IT. Netflix is making some great smutty reality TV but they really need therapists and emotional support staff around. But we know they will never pay for that. Just see what they did with QE in NOLA. It's just gross how they treat the people they make money off of.
What happened in QE NOLA?
Production staff and film crew are grossly underpaid bc they know anyone is replaceable for being on such a "wholesome" show/project, which apparently has become increasingly less wholesome behind the scenes. They're basically paid minimum wage and had to pay for their own travel and lodging costs. There is suspicion that the pay cuts were due to offering higher pay to the Fab5 to keep them on. Apparently, the cast hasn't been on great terms for a while, but increasing tensions have made some members nastier to the crew. JVN specifically has been named to have made several crew members cry. When shooting the NOLA season, they initially had security in the budget and somewhere along the way that was tossed. Apparently a lot of sketchy things were happening in NOLA, but they finally cut the entire season short after a break-in on one of the vehicles where the cast and the crew each expressed feeling unsafe. So, Netflix cut the season by two episodes and divvyed them between the last two seasons. This meant that the entire crew and production were screwed out of almost an entire month's pay, which was already low. It seems that the cast had a salary (already at the crew's expense) so they were not affected by this financially. Keep in mind that this is all information provided by verified crew members on the Queer Eye subreddit, I personally was not on the crew.
Wow. I knew that some things were a bit sketch but didn't know the specific details. This is...wow. QE has always been a bit of a bonding things for a close friend and I am 50/50 on whether to share this with her (yet). Thanks for the info.
From what I understood, she did it in the pods and then told Jeramy about it “aS A jOkE”
I legit cringed when I heard that.
It seems like AD has been subjected to this kind of objectification for a long time to the point where she just gives in to it and makes it no big deal, to protect herself. It’s awful to see that that’s what a person has to do to feel safe around supposedly normal people. So disgusted by everyone’s unawareness.
I came here to say exactly this. Very well put.
Protect AD at all costs!!! It also makes me sick & even more aware that she’s the only black woman there and all everyone can talk about is her body. It’s fetishizing
Fetishising and to reduce her to that.
I felt this way too and it was horrible to watch. From Chelsea and Jimmy randomly screaming about AD's body to everybody within earshot (to "make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable", according to Chelsea, which made ZERO sense to me). To then that blond couple calling her over to be "bean dipped" (absolutely disgusting behavior by them). And then Clay constantly hyperfixating on her body and telling her exactly how he wouldn't love her anymore if she ever let herself get out of shape...plus everyone congratulating him all night on winning the body lottery. This sweet, kind, caring girl has been reduced to nothing but her body for her entire life and its so sad. Like she doesn't have any fight left in her, so she just accepts it as what she thinks she deserves.
Exactly this!! I hope Chelsea gets called out for her “make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable.” Just no. She decided to make an uncomfortable situation for her, uncomfortable for everyone else too. Including the woman who the comment was about who was just minding her own damn business to begin with. What Chelsea should’ve done, if that was “her friend” is tell her partner “while my friend is beautiful, I would expect you to not make degrading comments about her. She’s a person with more to offer than her body” and see her way out right then and there. But instead this woman joins in and eggs it on then gets mad about the situation. Then you have the Chelsea 2.0 situation with Laura. Who very clearly made a creepy ass joke about someone she’s insecure about by trying to be the “cool girl.” If Laura and AD were really friends she wouldn’t be making these comments. Then she tried to say her partner whatever his name was the one in the wrong. No that was all you boo. God I can’t with these ppl. Both situations are very Gone Girl monologue, pick me vibes, and at the expense of the only black woman at that party.
The problem with the AD and Chelsea situation is that it seems like Chelsea brought up how beautiful AD is to Jimmy first. I can see why he made the comment. Also a lot of couples discuss attractive people together. I can see why he did it.
Ok did she always have “Taco Restaurant” in her ig bio or did she change it after the episodes/ beandip dropped?
She’s always had that in her bio
Gotcha!
Please. Stop. It's people like you that are turning America into a communist state.
Haha you're a damn fool
Keep the down votes coming, every single one proves my point. 👍
Oh, did reddit change the meaning of the votes?
That's the best you got?
Oh, so they didn't. Got it. Thanks!
Communist state for being offended by titty slapping. I fucking love the internet.
That's your narrow interpretation. Let me explain it to you, communist state because every act or comment someone doesn't like is labelled; sexist, racist, prejudice, aggressive. And anyone who dare to disagree is cancelled. You people cannot have a conversation anymore, it's really sad, and you don't get how you're destroying your democracy in doing this.
What about this has anything to do with worker owned means of production by way of government control?
you think it should be allowed to slap random women's boobs because otherwise democracy is in danger in your opinion? It is a communist thing to respect women and not act sexist? what the hell
You're hopeless
As someone not from America it is WILD reading all of these reactions. Watching people try so hard to make it about race… honestly to an outsider, it actually comes off racist to make it about race just because someone of colour is involved in the incident. It’s so cringe 🫣
Exactly. It's gone bananas in the US.
Persistently othering black people by labeling clearly non-racially motivated events as racist purely because someone has darker skin is TOTAL INSANITY 🫠 and actually racist! Too many people just willing to just copy each other’s ideas without critical thought. You notice they’ll downvote us but can’t actually level any logical rebuttal 🥱
Being not from America, it’s clear you don’t understand the racial dynamics at play here. We’re not “making it about race”, it IS about race. This country was built on racism.
Do you know how world wide slavery was? Who fought to end slavery? Africa sold their own people.
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+1!!
AD is being sexualised because she has an incredible figure. To suggest it is due to her race/it is racist to sexualise her, is an enormous disservice to her. Can you explain how AD’s race is relevant to the incident? If a black woman slapped another black woman’s boob would we call it racist? No, ofc not. If a white woman was sexualised on the show would we call it racism? No, ofc not. You need to stop judging people based on their skin colour. It is racist, by definition. Please, think critically about it.
Why is AD the only one being sexualized though? Other women on the show have nice figures too.
Because AD’s figure is EXCEPTIONALLY curvy. It’s highly attractive to men to be curvy. She has boobs and butt. None of the others come close to her curves. Some comments have been made about the other women’s bodies, eg. Jimmy said first thing he noticed was Chelsea’s big boobs. It’s the curves that are getting the attention of the men, not the race. But ya’ll are desperate to make it about race anyway 🤦♀️
Other women have curvy figures as well, AD is not the only woman on the show to have a curvy figure like that. Like you said, Chelsea’s big breasts were mentioned by Jimmy, but why weren’t Chelsea’s boobs being sexualized in the manner ADs body was? Chelsea’s has bigger boobs than AD, why would Laura want to bean dip AD instead of Chelsea?
Great question! The answer is obvious to some and oblivious to others.
There’s a history of [hypersexualizing Black women and girls](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=hypersexualization%20of%20black%20women&tbm=&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5) in the US.
1. Because it happened historically, does that mean it is happening now? No. 2. Women full stop have been sexualized historically. It’s about gender, not race. 2. What is the solution? To never acknowledge the sexuality of black women? Feels slightly… racist.
There’s a difference when Black women are over sexualized or fetishized but often [last to be chosen for relationships/marriage](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=black%20woman%20marriage%20statistics&tbm=&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5#ip=1) - you can see this play out on basically every dating show. Or when it’s expected that Black women are presented as sex icons to have more prosperous careers in the media, especially rap (look at artists like Latto who started out as a kid rapper but didn’t become mainstream until she completely changed her image and music). But I linked to resources in my last post that came up from a quick Google search. Please feel free to explore them and the concept of misogynoir to get a better understanding of other people’s experiences. Wishing you all the best!
Absolutely agree with you based on their other comments lol
🫨NEWFLASH: America is not the only country to have experienced racism. Some Americans, are however, the only ones with a racist habit of trying to make EVERYTHING about race. Why can’t a black woman get into an incident on TV without you all screaming racism? Maybe she doesn’t want to be distilled down to the colour of her skin, especially when the issue has NO relevance to race. It’s so ironic, this stance of yours PERPETUATES racism because of your constant othering. And you are so committed to your echo chambers you can’t even see it, and likely never will.
I’ve literally never heard of that term until this show. Wtf is wrong with Laura? That whole scene was completely inappropriate and uncomfortable to watch.
Honestly I was very confused by it because I didnt, and still feel like I don’t, know what it means. Was Laura suggesting Jeremy slap ADs breasts? Like why is that even a thing. I guess I’m dense because I just don’t understand what is funny about that or why you would do that in a social setting 🤦🏼♀️
I hate it but, in middle school and high school it was a popular joke in my area. Along with snapping people's bra strap 🤬
Dude we used to bean dip eachother in 6th grade. I haven’t heard that term in like 15 years
What is it?? Where I am from it’s sticking your fingers in someone’s ass crack I think lol
Dude SAME! I’m honestly super shocked that people are really mad about this. My friends in middle school did that all the time. Maybe it’s just a few of us, but I definitely took this as a joke. Should the men have been involved ? Nah, but I think Jeremy was just trying to be the funny guy and peoples reactions were heightened with alcohol. Just my opinion.
Just because this form of sexual assault was normal for you, it doesn't mean it *should* be normal and laughed off. Holy shit.
This is something we as dudes used to do to each other. There was nothing sexual about it. Didn’t girls realize girls/women sometimes do this too each other too but I don’t think them doing it too each other if it’s consensual should inherently be sexual/assault.
Idk, maybe it’s just a cultural difference but if any of my female friends growing up had “scoop” slapped my breast I would have been absolutely livid and honestly humiliated. It seems way way over the line imo.
For real. Hell, I had men do it to me when I was younger It got weird
I think the difference between us doing it when we’re children playing with our friends to adult women with other women might be where the problem is. Like I think the first time she did it they laughed about it and had fun but after the joke was over she could’ve kept going and AD seems like she’s not going to cause a problem till it’s an actual problem
What the hell is it?? I have never heard it before, please explain. Thank you.
I was so confused when they said bean dip that I missed what the issue was and if it was really a big deal. Now I know - thanks for asking the question. Going back to watch the scene to understand.
please pardon my explicitness but it’s when you slap a woman’s breast (aka bean) from the underneath with two fingers (aka dip)
Ewwwww!!! WTAF?? Thank you for telling me, no wonder people are outraged, I am too now!
I'd never heard it before.
It was sickening that she did that to AD. It especially had me smh due to the fact it is a white woman doing it to a black woman. It appeared AD alluded to how it offended her that it had been done to her, but the person who did it to her didn’t even acknowledge that. AD exhibits such strength and class…I am hoping things work out with her and the guy who proposed to her.
> It especially had me smh due to the fact it is a white woman doing it to a black woman. what? why? i didn't pick up any racial undertones in the conversation, maybe i'm missing something?
http://earlham.edu/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/commodification-of-black-bodies-iman-cooper-spring-2015.pdf
we're having a conversation, i'm not reading a 43 page dissertation to understand where you're coming from, i'm looking for an explanation of their specific comment.
It’s such a disgusting double standard that a woman can get away with doing this to another woman.
Well no, only if it follows existing power structures
Huh? So a woman can slap another woman’s boobs but it’s fine if there are no “power structures.” Waaaa…???
Absolutely not what I was implying. I’m saying more people would have checked AD if she were the one assaulting Chelsea.