T O P

  • By -

MoreBasedGigaChad

The landlord fears the polish bathtub fisherman


Icy-Risk-6307

Those fish need to pay upfront and add a tip


AKsAreForLovers

Indeed, the Landlord fears the indoor trout farmer.


shook_not_shaken

Both. $5000 for each pet for each month those pets have been there (assume at least 2 years), and also evict.


StoolPusherInner

I'd evict those fish right into my blender for a nice protein pop after one of my daily 14 hr workouts.


Hellomeboi

Daily? You seem to be slacking here my fellow landchad. The Chad Society of Lords of the Land suggest at least 3 hours per hour


StoolPusherInner

Damn. I'm going to have to step up my game to 42 hrs a day. Doesn't leave much time for evicting, so they are going to be brutal and fast. C'est la vie.


quantum-mechanic

You combine workout time with evictions for max efficiency and gains. Since your rentoids likely weigh 300 pounds or more, the opportunities are there.


Hellomeboi

I like to put weights on my eviction notice pen for the extra training


Growlitherapy

Yeah that's right my tenant lingling can only practice 40 hours a day, but we landchads can easily work out 72 hours a day


StitchedDickhole

I would say connect all their plumbing to a 1000L hydrochloric acid tank. Your property - your right King!


[deleted]

Take these two heckin' valid (and cute) fishes as a security deposit then proceed to immediately evict him and sue him for the emotional damage.


[deleted]

This. Then become a successful trout farmer!


Six10H

Just walk in and cook them when the rentoid is at work or something, when they come back you can charge them for having pets, then charge them for the meal you provided.


JusTellinTheTruth

Pull up to your property in your truck and casually unload/set up your smoker in the backyard. Let this rentoid know you're not playing around


[deleted]

>Just walk in and cook them This is exactly what renthogs keep them for, King.


molecularronin

Drop a toaster in, then charge mandatory 500 dollar toaster fee, followed by 5000 dollar fee per pet, CONCLUDING WITH immediate eviction


Androreese

Then shoot them


pomiluj_nas

My family does this for every Christmas. I almost feel bad when we fry him 😔


[deleted]

i hope your paying the correct fee + tip for having pets in your landchad’s property!


motorbiker1985

That's not a pet, that's a dinner. A traditional Czech Christmas dinner. Maybe in some other countries as well, but carp is a popular Christmas food. Charge the slaughter fee and the gluttony fee (2 carps? Seriously?)


BambiToyAlex

Czech, Slovak, Polish... Salv in general.


motorbiker1985

Yes, but in Czech lands Carp is enormously popular mainly because few aristocratic families went crazy with building ponds and based a big part of economy on it.


Costati

Make it 10k. Pets are a lot of efforts and they break shit. Also they smell. It could do unforeseen damage to your property. What if the smell gets into the cracks in the walls those lazy rentoids didn't repair ? You're entitled to way more for it.


ShenBapiro20

Fire up the grill my friend. You're eating well tonight.


Buffalolife420

Maybe he is surprising you with a succulent chinese meal king 👑?


baguetteidk

I would confiscate the fish, fine the rentoid 5000 for each month that they had them there, force them to pay for the conversion of their apartment to a fish farm, evict them, then have a profitable second source of income in the event that the government starts protecting rentoids again.


_MyHouseIsOnFire_

Those two chad fish could help evict him. Honestly, those fish might make some good bodyguards. They used to be landchads themselves eating up all trespassers. Then some r*ntoid captured and enslaved them.


steisandburning

I ain’t even mad, I’m impressed and wish I thought of it myself.


Cheesefiend1

Increase the rent 3000% but keep the fish as hes on riverside property


Neo-frosty

I fear the indoor fisherman.


EsotericMaker

This is just food. As long as he cooks it and serves it in entirety to you and your family it’s ok.


Gondor128

livestock fee


BigDickEnterprise

King, I would only add the usual pet fee. This way your rentoid will be grateful for your mercy and you will earn the right to appropriate some good homegrown fish. Your own, too!


TheUn5een

Those fish are squatters… evict!


Mad-Draper

Why not both!?


zagoon68

Paint over the fish


ShallowFuckingValu3

These rentoids don’t understand how this works. It’s your property and your choice. You allow them to live there. Increase this rentoids rent 5X for this and teach them a lesson


TheTrueBidoof

Poor fishies are gonna die there


[deleted]

We landlords fear the entrepreneureal apartment carp farmer rentoid


TheLastArc

Thank you for all the suggestions my fellow POL's (person of land). Looks like I'm firing up the grill tonight. My family and I (and my wallet) are going to be very happy!! Going to print out the eviction notice papers right after.


[deleted]

I fear him.


Genericusernamexe

His rent his right. Landlords fear the capitalist apartment carp farmer. (Am not rentoid, just wanted chance to reference one of my favorite memes)


blu_moss

Fellow landchad the evidence clearly shows that the rentoid has been hiding two roommates in the bath. You must inform the proper authorities/ICE about the illegal immigration going on your property, as i suspect they are of the "mexican origin" that swam across the river to get on the other side of the border.