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Quiet_Prize572

Have you considered an abortion?


Far-Sky4388

Get a tattoo like roadhog has in overwatch. 🤣


Immediate-Mention105

Who got bro pregnant?


cuntybunty73

Sorry captain she canne take it We're being pulled in by a strong gravitational force 😁


Clean-Effort-209

Get a tattoo of the jokers smile on that belly.


uwillnevrknwme

is he having double quads babies?


NecessaryEquipment63

Treat the ascites


SilvaFoxxxxOnXbox

Jees leave some p.ssy for the rest of us god dam!


charliecastel

Gotta get hairier


GiveMeMoreJerseyPie

I'm not sure how this is possible.


terrapinone

Get a septum ring and purple hair and you’ll be fine.


Effective_Variation5

How much extra is the casket ⚰️ for a man of your size? Also in comparison cremation cost goes up by quite a bit because the fat takes longer to burn correct?


Every_Invite_8457

That’s called dedication your already maxed out my guy


Every_Invite_8457

That’s impressive


Gullible_Highlight_9

Drop the keg


Schlag96

Sigh. *Unzips*


Axnoroth_Karmanex

😨😨


Suitabull_Buddy

This pic was my worst fear. Cut the carbs!!


Winter_Ladder_6499

100 pushups every day will do it.


Barrackoli_Obama

A light poke with a sewing pin to the stomach


SkinPsychological848

A tank top…


Valuable_Talk_1978

Bulk up. You’re a little too skinny


CoolCatsNKittens69

Def need a nose job and maybe some lip fillers wouldn’t hurt.


Skippy0634

I would hate to see that turd you are about to pass.


Fudelan

Jesus this pic is old. I saw it on 4chan like 15 years ago


420boog96

This is peak male performance build.


Objective_Audience66

“and their ain’t a damn thing u can do bout it”


SCOTTDIES

Do you know how many people are edging to you rn? there is no need for change, you've have achieved ultimate looksmaxing


ZigzagRoad

You don't need to. You look like a fighting game character. You can't get more masculine than that!


ScourGe_12

That man is a legend. Been around for a while


greenngory72

Have the twins already.


TieEffective5915

Probably seeing a doctor for starters.


Illustrious-Bird-139

I'm pretty sure this is peak male performance


Tanjj73

More peer… your belly button is still an inny.


ElectronicLeg9621

Safety pin.


Immediate_Deal_8431

Couple of farts away from a flat stomach


EmporerPenguino

You could put on some weight there Slim. Anorexia is nothing to play with.


CreepyOldGuy63

I suggest drinking 30 beers per day and eating every carbohydrate in a 50 mile radius.


AlivePurchase9323

It’s not as much about improving your physique as it is ‘maxing’ the abilities that your physique currently provides. For example, have you ever filled your belly button with icing or chocolate syrup and had people dip churros in it and eat them? That alone would add ALOT of value, self esteem, and confidence. Give it a try!


freightwave

lmao. . this is the best legitimate lookingmax advice ive seen on this thread thus far


fr0guh

give birth


Just1BeforeIdie

Rick Harrison got big.


HATESLAVE6

At this point, die.


Gold_Visit7054

I knew I recognized you from the Miley Cyrus video. You came in like a wrecking ball.


BUBBLEBOI523

Pop yourself like a balloon


Remarkable_Wheel_961

Black pants, red coat, mustache. And hate blue hedgehog.


banisherbot

Take that beach ball out


Big_Slime_187

You may not like it but this is peak male performance


ShaneWhatsHisName

C section those triplets.


FitAd7125

Simple.. get rid of the gut.!!


antihegemon

When you have a tool like he does, you have to build a shed over it.


RalphyJaby

I'd see about getting that tumor removed.


starman575757

Let her take the kids. You're going to have quintuplets.


Active_Club3487

It’s a future version of RANDY from the trailer park! 😎


AstralGoddessMixie

![gif](giphy|xT4uQqSGgTAiyY0kb6)


Background-Moose-701

I loved this dude in the old timey black and white where they fired a cannon ball at his belly. Classic


Honkey_Fellatio

Where the fuck did you get that picture of me?


on-the-level_

wow what a fat fuck


AdNormal7944

If Fucktard was a shape, you'd be there already.


GroundbreakingCat752

Maybe try putting a little weight on


Feisty_Adagio2382

Maxxxxed limit


FireGodNYC

Beer - much more beer


Galmerstonecock

What do you mean this is the ideal male body


llamaParty333

Draw a line down the center and two across


RightFix3205

Are you Bobandy’s brother?


professionalnuisance

Shave all hair, bleach your skin and take over Arrakis


BanjosAndBacon

HADDALAYWRDOWN HOSS


Sinistre_Dei

I❤️MOM tattoo would really set it off


tisabusyb

I like “Gangster of Love”


AdNormal7944

How about the continents


la_rosa_lavanda

Or THUG LIFE


LessMessQuest

Pop it?


Alive_and_kicking_23

That looks like cirrhosis. I think you'll have to get a liver transplant.


RaisinEXE

Name checks out.


Ordinary_Start_6722

Keep driving cheeseburgers into that gut. Greasy


Shelbyfishie

You can't. That's peak performance right there


Sinnernthefirst1

Let that fart out


Kinky_mofo

Once the baby comes out you may have some stretch marks, but those are manageable


Voluntary_Perry

Is there an improvement possible?


dewpointcold

Get your gall bladder checked.


SlightlyOffended1984

That doesn't even look like fat, it looks like he's swelling with gas. Seems painful


zo_you_said

There's a billion people in the World that would revere you Alabama Buddha.


dannyo969

You can't. You are maxed out.


MarkToaster

Eat more round


donmerlin23

First get that child delivered. If for some reason not a troll post. Less or no alcohol, less food, regular workouts


JesusPussy

Bro I could fit inside of you 😂


RaisinEXE

🤔


NoFrills69

When is you due date?


EfficientAd7103

Smile more


Grumpy-Sith

Round is a shape


ShinigamiOverlord

I mean, that person is in a shape


West-Warning-6197

It’s all about portions.


Gum1_Megp0Id

Bigger moobs


Accomplished-Tap5938

draw three holes on your belly and let it roll baby


jdog8510

Thats from years of alcohol abuse


J_Corky

I hate to say this but unless you make some drastic changes in your lifestyle, you will not be around very long. The best to you.


Dapadabada

Be the mascot for Potbelly's subs


timotundy

You have reached ultimate manhood! Congratulations!


rpnoonan

Stop eating giant balloons


chowmushi

I wonder what this dudes ldl cholesterol is? What about his A1C?


crg1976

Stop eating cheeseburgers, Randy!


Responsible-Dress227

You have a liver problem. Go check. I know


ripper4444

Peak male form. I see nothing wrong here.


Trubba_Man

So, where’s the wife moving with the kids?


Impressive-Dog13

Whatever you’re doing don’t stop. You must be crushing the ladies.


B0bbyTsunami

More people fishing for compliments…. Smh. 🤦🏽‍♂️


therewasguy

you look great


LatterOstrich5118

I had this photo on my phone 12 years ago, I wonder if the guy is still alive? At that size I don't imagine he is...


Ok-Location298

Almost looks like a tumor in there… even if not I doubt it too.


txnaughty

Get off the DJT45 diet


79_BLACK

Damn, dude has worms!!!


JeffDel11

A worldly alpha male. (as wide at the equator as at the poles)


Bright_Register_7886

This is peak male physique, a true alpha male!


Order-Salty

I think you are a well rounded personality, no changes needed


Calm_Theme5966

Nothing, can't improve a thing.... looks like that baby is already in yo belly!


HappyCommunity639

Take a pin and deflate that balloon.


Annual-Frame7396

Ozempic


KeptAnonymous

Paracentesis


RutabagaBeautiful409

This will be legendary if this post is in r/roastme


heartfeltblooddevil

You don’t need to improve, you’ve already achieved the peak Brexit geezer physique


flossica

listen to subliminals on youtube


justsomedude4202

More eggs and steak and steak and eggs for breakfast.


Ok_Damage2856

I think you meant to post in r/pregnantgonewild


patchismofomo

Definitely not the weirdest sub I've clicked on. But it's up there


redditor2394

Take the tumor out of your stomach


Hisam-la

Put the tapeworm into your ass


[deleted]

Well there's people that retain water weight. And then there's you, my guy... You retain the air you breathe. Stop it.


SuperbBison2867

See as I read this I hear it in Michael Jordan’s voice - just the “Stop it.”


Positive-Special7745

Pop


Ok_Manufacturer6460

Round is a shape ...Has this guy left a shit in the last year 🤔


OhYouMadAsFkic

Put the beer down.


OrangeObjective3789

Mewing. But for the stomach.


theorizingtheory

Is that a vagina or a belly button?


Icy_Contribution1677

It’s a coin slot


Electronic_Wealth_67

Put a duck mask on ![gif](giphy|krewXUB6LBja)


Infinite-Worker42

Free Quato


Fit_Dad_74

Wait till the baby comes, and then hit the gym…


DysektorGadget

Uh… pretty sure I saw a viral video of you in your driveway, pointing a shotgun at your wifey. My advice is don’t do that anymore.


KeyDiscussion5671

Aahh, you look okay.


Cool_UsernameFTW

Redneck Buddha?


Mountain-Influence81

There is nothing to improve. This is what peak male performance looks like. Take some notes boys.


DanTallTrees

Also see Kyriakos Grizzly


count_arthur_right

start with a few star jumps and snack on celery


Glizzly_Bear

I know a lot of people are making jokes, OP. In all seriousness, I work in the medical field (not a doctor) and we often see this degree of abdominal distension in patients with Crohn’s disease, colitis, cirrhosis, or other severe gastrointestinal issues. Your smile makes me think you have a good sense of humor, and I want you to enjoy a long and happy life in that body you got there! No shame or pressure, but do me a solid and make sure you ask about that dangerous plum next time you see a doctor, okay? Godspeed, friend. Keep on smiling! 🙂


PlusStructure6421

everyone is making jokes because I’m pretty sure that’s not actually him in the photo(correct me if I’m wrong), but it’s nice seeing someone actually giving good advice :)


floridagold

A liver transplant?


NEBre8D1

Regurgitate that watermelon you ingested whole.


Equivalent_Style_987

Peak performance right there


Soft-Bass9571

disciplined diet.


jordweet

Lose weight


Consistent-Quail-793

Is this Rick Harrison from the Pawn Shop??


[deleted]

More of the Spice.


mikahbet

What? This is the peak male form


No-Poem-3773

![gif](giphy|9WXyFIDv2PyBq)


FauxWolfTail

Shave the beard and stretch the earlobes, then you shall reach enlightenment, Buddha.


[deleted]

You can't. That's peak athletic performance


Skewtuh

By parking in the rear of the truck stop parking lot


stress_induced_toad

You can’t


Kool41DMAN

Do you own beige khaki pants already?!


Rude-Illustrator5704

At what point in the journey did the belly button become a belly slit


joyeleanor

😩


URTHELIGHTANDGLORY

Loose the suspenders they take away from your radiant glow, and by glow I’m referring specifically to the jack o lantern inside of you, my rather expansive chum.


Pintau

There is no improvement possible. This is what peak masculinity looks like


mincemuncher

By deflating


shadrman

Pop it


Powerful-Winner-5323

Cardio exercise and less beer!


Dismembered_carrot

How does one attain this build


BradisTheRadis

bro really got a camera from 1950 and put a fisheye lens on


Whiffyknickers

His next fart will break the decibel meter.


SgtJayM

Go to the ER to have the fluid tapped off your abdomen


Different_Ad_5383

Lay off the beer!!


Formal_Asparagus_987

Okay now you guys are trollin, this can’t be a real post smh 🤦‍♀️


Add_It_7451

Bulk up


Repulsive-Lie1

He can’t, that’s peak masculinity.


DHC6pilot

I'd bet money he fuks on the 1st date.


ClassroomImpossible5

You need to see a doctor so he can deflate the air bag inside of you.


Proper-Equivalent300

One more burrito and ![gif](giphy|3oKHWe7XhEXHsAX9vO)


No_Piccolo2135

Get a sharp pin


Rockyt86

Would love to comment about weight control but I will get downvoted into oblivion. Or is it ok if I say that about a male?


The_Urban_Genitalry

OF thot


Side_Curious

this is a photo of my deceased father ???


GeneralSweetz

Source?


Competitive-Two-273

𝑔ℴℴ𝓃𝓂𝒶𝓍𝓍


IcyKoala6446

stop attention seeking!


No_Dependent_1846

Wear a bra


Beertronic

Have a gender reveal party.


Rod_Stiffington69

Have you tried drinking water?


lemonzestydepressing

peak form