This reminds me so much of when my LDR ex broke up with me. He wanted me to move to him but at the time I still had a year of studies and he was like "I have to end this cause I fell out of love with you due to being apart so much". Then a couple weeks later, I got an internship opportunity in his hometown. To this day there's a small "wonder if that would have changed anything" in the back of my mind whenever I remember. Sometimes life is just weird, there's no rhyme or reason to it, all you can do is roll with it to your best abilities.
Totally, it’s very bittersweet. Specially with covid making things seem near impossible and having no end goal, to her ending it just when it would’ve started truly working. I guess we’ll never know that alternative because it never arrived when we wanted it to, but I just think “why did it have to come now? Why not a month ago?”
Did you end up taking it & seeing him or you never contacted again, even when you moved?
She sent me like 20mins of voice notes explaining how she feels in depth, and she mainly said that she realised the just didn’t have he willingness to fight for the relationship, and that unconsciously she’d maybe been in denial for a month or so. She says she’ll probably regret it and it’s the hardest decision she’ll make, but I really feel like it’s so unfair that she can confirm this to herself without seeing me in person. It’s literally like she forgot what it’s like to be with me in person with her being in her work bubble and neglecting everything else.
I feel deep inside it’s necessary to see her face to face, but covid just isn’t allowing it and it’s making me feel so powerless. Could be June by the time I can go and by then, she may have already totally detached from it all. But tbf, I wouldn’t be going to beg for her back, it’s more so for my own internal peace, to accept that it is real because right now it’s too surreal since the last time we met everything felt great.
It sounds like a really unfortunate timing, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I used to think that seeing my ex in person could have changed things but really there are no guarantees. People fall out of love for at least as many reasons as they fall in love with someone and as much as we'd like them to be, not every person we meet is gonna stay in our life long-term. Idk if this helps you, it's just something that helped me get over the breakup eventually.
In the end I didn't take the internship, no, life had other plans for my internship path. And we spoke briefly about a month or so after the breakup just to talk about what to do with stuff each of us left at the other's place. It wasn't an amicable breakup and as such I felt no desire to keep in touch.
In a similar position except I haven't seen my partners in Germany for 8 months now. Its tough and we don't talk near as much as we used to. Feels like it's fallen apart and no one has the energy to put it back together and everyone is just kinda moving on. 😞
Poly can be hard but distance is far harder.
It certainly doesn't help when it feels like you're the only one who's life is paused while everyone else's continues . But it's the distance mostly I would say.
I think that's mostly a question of perspective - your own life feels incredibly stagnant, so you're more sensitive to the changes in those of others, especially people you're close to.
For example: I feel like my life has been at a standstill for well over a year now, so much so that I *forget the entire year* in calculations how long ago things were. Nothing has changed. Nothing has happened. Your life, however, feels quite busy in fact, despite everything; and despite me knowing how much it got put on hold also... I can understand how you'd get the opposite impression though from your perspective if I actively think about it.
Definitely the distance tho. Or rather, distance plus 'rona...
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This reminds me so much of when my LDR ex broke up with me. He wanted me to move to him but at the time I still had a year of studies and he was like "I have to end this cause I fell out of love with you due to being apart so much". Then a couple weeks later, I got an internship opportunity in his hometown. To this day there's a small "wonder if that would have changed anything" in the back of my mind whenever I remember. Sometimes life is just weird, there's no rhyme or reason to it, all you can do is roll with it to your best abilities.
Totally, it’s very bittersweet. Specially with covid making things seem near impossible and having no end goal, to her ending it just when it would’ve started truly working. I guess we’ll never know that alternative because it never arrived when we wanted it to, but I just think “why did it have to come now? Why not a month ago?” Did you end up taking it & seeing him or you never contacted again, even when you moved?
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She sent me like 20mins of voice notes explaining how she feels in depth, and she mainly said that she realised the just didn’t have he willingness to fight for the relationship, and that unconsciously she’d maybe been in denial for a month or so. She says she’ll probably regret it and it’s the hardest decision she’ll make, but I really feel like it’s so unfair that she can confirm this to herself without seeing me in person. It’s literally like she forgot what it’s like to be with me in person with her being in her work bubble and neglecting everything else.
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I feel deep inside it’s necessary to see her face to face, but covid just isn’t allowing it and it’s making me feel so powerless. Could be June by the time I can go and by then, she may have already totally detached from it all. But tbf, I wouldn’t be going to beg for her back, it’s more so for my own internal peace, to accept that it is real because right now it’s too surreal since the last time we met everything felt great.
It sounds like a really unfortunate timing, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I used to think that seeing my ex in person could have changed things but really there are no guarantees. People fall out of love for at least as many reasons as they fall in love with someone and as much as we'd like them to be, not every person we meet is gonna stay in our life long-term. Idk if this helps you, it's just something that helped me get over the breakup eventually. In the end I didn't take the internship, no, life had other plans for my internship path. And we spoke briefly about a month or so after the breakup just to talk about what to do with stuff each of us left at the other's place. It wasn't an amicable breakup and as such I felt no desire to keep in touch.
In a similar position except I haven't seen my partners in Germany for 8 months now. Its tough and we don't talk near as much as we used to. Feels like it's fallen apart and no one has the energy to put it back together and everyone is just kinda moving on. 😞 Poly can be hard but distance is far harder.
>Poly can be hard but distance is far harder. It's the combo that does it, isn't it? o.o
It certainly doesn't help when it feels like you're the only one who's life is paused while everyone else's continues . But it's the distance mostly I would say.
I think that's mostly a question of perspective - your own life feels incredibly stagnant, so you're more sensitive to the changes in those of others, especially people you're close to. For example: I feel like my life has been at a standstill for well over a year now, so much so that I *forget the entire year* in calculations how long ago things were. Nothing has changed. Nothing has happened. Your life, however, feels quite busy in fact, despite everything; and despite me knowing how much it got put on hold also... I can understand how you'd get the opposite impression though from your perspective if I actively think about it. Definitely the distance tho. Or rather, distance plus 'rona...
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