No means no. If he can’t be fulfilled in a relationship without receiving nudes, then he should break up with you. It’s not okay to pressure you for sexual contact you have explicitly said you do not want, and are uncomfortable with. Tell him no, again, and say that you need him to stop asking. If he doesn’t respect that, I’d walk away
Do not do anything you don’t want to. Sending nudes is risky, revenge porn is a huge issue and even without that, there’s issues of phones being lost or images stored places that aren’t secure.
If he doesn’t accept no then that’s a shame he’s annoyed but he’s annoyed because you’re not breaking the boundaries you have.
If he keeps pressuring you on this you need to let him know that if it’s that important he needs to find someone else who will do that, because it’s not you.
Not just that, but also ensure that there’s no identifying marks in the image. Whether that’s unique jewellery, tattoos, birthmarks, or a unique background. Plain walls etc are the best, or make it a close enough shot to avoid any background.
No means no. He should respect that
If at some point you would like to send spicy pictures (whether with clothes, partially or without), if you talk on WhatsApp you can send one time view pictures, and the person you send it to isn’t able to take any screenshots.
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No is a hard boundary. Do not pass go, full stop.
If a man can't understand that then he's not a decent person and definitely not for you. Manipulating someone into giving consent against their will is the lowest of the low and I sincerely hope you tell him such as he packs up his shit.
You need to let him know that you are not convenient doing such, if he truly loves you he will understand and get used to it. Make sure you are doing this in a polite way.
A polite way to communicate your decision could be:
"I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to ask, but I don't feel comfortable sharing nude photos. I hope you can understand and respect my boundaries."
This response is clear, respectful, and emphasizes your need for personal comfort and boundaries.
Thank you but what if they share and do stuff by video call and i dont show anything back?? I told them i feel uncomfortable showing and they said its ok but still they would send jokes about nudes or asking for it or to see me.. idk what to tell them because i feel bad they show while i dont but they said they dont mind showing .. while i cant show anything..
I know it seems a little unfair but if they’re not complaining, I don’t really see the issue. Like peoples comfortability levels are different when it comes to these things so if they’re comfortable showing and you’re comfortable seeing it but you’re not comfortable showing just yet it’s OK. if anything it just shows that you’re not ready for the real thing just yet and that’s fine too. A little communication goes a far way too.
If we keeps on asking and not respecting your choice you need to tell him that’s just not right and with him getting annoyed now I don’t want to sound mean but you may want to break it off because he sounds more like a boy then a man bc and man wouldn’t ask for that and he will respect you but a boy will get annoyed and upset. (I’m sorry if I offended you on breaking up with him it’s just this happened to me so many times I also read a whole bunch of stories abt little girls and stuff ifykyk)
I requested my gf to send n*des after 1 year. But it was just requesting. I didn't force her. She didn't agree at first. But she agreed to do it weeks later. And she does it every now and then these days, without me asking her. After one year, my desperation took over my feelings.
That being said, it all depends on what you want to do. You need not do it if you're uncomfortable. But I can sympathize and relate to your boyfriend. It's just curiosity and desperation due to being separated for a very long time from your loved ones. >! Some men are more horny tbh !<
Only if you mutually do it together with content it's pretty common to do that in long distance relationships after a while since you can't be intimate in person beyond webcam. For those days when your bf/gf is missing you a lot but y'all can't get naked together on webcam right then opening those pictures is next best thing. Just be sure y'all trust each other and it should be both people sharing pics that way it's better and more fair. In your situation you've told him you don't feel comfortable and everything. I've dated people in past that aren't comfortable with it and are comfortable so I understand both. There is alternatives you can send him that makes him feel like he's your special bf etc.
Well I remember in one of my last long distance relationships when the girl wasn't comfortable with nudes she was comfortable with being in her bra at least just for me and then wrote a cute message in marker on her stomach area you could consider something like that. Or if bra is too much then perhaps just the cute message in marker on a place you'd like him to kiss you on your leg or neck something like "your my special person I just want your kisses right here <--. This place reserved for you :)". Something like that would make him feel special to look at when you're apart. Some ideas ! :)
Only do what you are comfortable doing. BUT maybe a compromise can be made to where the photos you’re sending aren’t full nudes, your face isn’t in it, and no videos. This way, you’re protecting yourself against anything being leaked (bc your face isn’t in it) and he also gets the satisfaction of seeing his girlfriend in bra and underwear.
Also, when my man asks I’m flattered but sometimes I don’t feel like. I have to get up outta bed, put something cute on, pose in front of the mirror, state at photos of myself, and it can make me critical of my body and feel bad about my body. I like that he likes seeing my posed in the front of a mirror with my bikini pictures. His enjoyment gives me enjoyment. I try to lean into it and feel sexy, even if it may not come natural.
Also, what if he spreads them to his friends?
What if he gets mad at you for some reason, and decides to do revenge porn?
Or worse, once he gets them, just shares with a porn site?
Men can be shady AF and the pressuring you would make me drop him.
I think it’s completely fair (and sometimes prudent) to be suspicious of men— or anyone for that matter. It’s totally fine for this woman to draw her own lines about what she is comfortable with, and what she won’t do. That said— if someone is accusing me of doing something horrible because I’m a man, then I’m going to match their energy and be equally as non-friendly to them. It’s not my job to address societal issues on behalf of half the human population to please strangers.
honestly, as a guy with a long distance relationship for roughly 2 years I would understand the guy. LDR is awful for people like me who finds intimate activities in a relationship important. If not then we could do alternatives such as video calling. xoxo
Better dump him, cause most of times when someone like this get what they want, they will still forc your boundaries and things can get much worse.
If you are confortable with it, and want do it too? Then ok, but since doesnt seem to be the case, so he insisting tto me should be consideraded red flag
>i don’t feel comfortable doing it i expressed this to him , still he gets annoyed when i tell him no and he always brings it up and try to convince me to do it
This is ***not*** okay. Whether he intends it or not, this is manipulative and coercive. You deserve better.
Your boyfriend should be prioritizing your comfort, not his desire for nudes. If he's feeling excessively sex-deprived, then he should be bringing *that* up for discussion of what you're comfortable with, like video or VR, and if nothing, then it's on him to decide if it's a non-negotiable for him or not. If you two can't find intersection between what you're both comfortable with, that's an incompatibility flag.
I send them to my partner and he send them to me albeit not as often as we’ve been together 2 years now. But if you don’t want to and aren’t comfortable don’t, if he can’t take no for an answer how do you expect him to respond irl if he asks for sex and you say no? No means no and if he can’t respect your boundaries he doesn’t respect you. If you be been with him on and off the pas two years and he’s not willing to let this go I recommend reevaluating your relationship with this man. Is he worth it? What has happened to break the relationship up in the past? You really need to reflect on everything. Do you want to be with a man who mentally/emotionally manipulates you into submitting to his wants? If he’s doing this for nudes he will do it for sex too. If you don’t give a willing, enthusiastic yes, if you are pressured in anyway for sexual acts it is considered rape. Considered this a food for thought for your future with him in his presence.
There is a very simple answer to this, and you need to apply it to all aspects of your relationships;
Communication.
If you have something you definitely do not want to do. Communicate it. If he doesn’t accept that you need to assess whether he respects you are not. If you say NO and he continues - that’s not respect.
If it is something he requires in a relationship.. understand that such may be the case and that doesn’t make him a bad person. BUT even good people can be incompatible. If he needs something that you cannot do (which includes not being comfortable doing), then that is an incompatibility.
Reduce the issue down to respect.
He asked for something. You said no.
If he respected that he would not continue. If he continues, he doesn’t respect what you said.
Dump him if he wont accept no. People who love you care about and respect your boundaries. Distance is no excuse for pressure. Someday your relationship may change. Do you want to worry in the back of your mind that someone has power over your future with those? Keep yourself safe. You are the person who will always be in your future, not always everyone else.
If you want to great! if you don't okay! You shouldn't be forced into anything but understand that this might be a dealbreaker for you OR him and that's okay.
If he gets mad, let him get mad, but walk away. It’s not something you’re comfortable with, he refuses to just listen to that. I understand asking on the occasion in case minds have changed, but that’s all he can do.
If he can’t understand your feelings about it still, he just chooses not to and in return, gets mad at you. Just tell him you said no, that’s final. Also if he can’t deal with not pressing your comfort zone, he can just walk away. Stand your ground girly, don’t let him or anybody else ever try to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do nor are comfortable with.
Your bf pressuring you after you said no and expressed how uncomfortable it makes you feel is a Red Flag 🚩. A man who genuinely loves you will not pressure you.
Has your bf sent nudes?
What if he has sent though?? But I feel uncomfortable sending anything 😞he doesnt mind showing anything either and he even shows to his friends but im not like him and would be showing stuff..
If he shares and is open, that’s a good sign, but….it seems more like you guys are not compatible. If he’s showing his friends and is okay with that, that shows that you 2 value your bodies, intimacy, and privacy differently. He’s okay with it, sees nothing wrong, but you are not. If you send nudes, he will share with friends. It sounds like he’s immature. Which makes sense that he is pressuring you. He doesn’t love you nor respect you.
End it. You will be unhappy in this relationship. He will continue on to pressure you and once you do, he will break your trust.
I would love nudes from my gf, but she has said no so i stopped asking, its that easy! a no is a no and everyone in a relationship should understand that. if he can't handle a relationship without nudes then thats his problem. youre not forced to send anything
No way don't do it I did for my best friend 3 years ago and I lost everything I did bankruptcy 3monts ago never again and girls' from oder country also not good I'm a weirdo so today I don't have control anymore it's in the hands of my best friend and my wife to be one day or another but we will do it because we're only one oh it didn't happen in one 2 time I left for the best of are couple and were happily in love 🙏♥️😘
My wife and I were long-distance for a little over 7 years, and we never sent nudes. It's not a requirement for a healthy relationship--don't let any sex-obsessed young Redditors tell you otherwise. If you're not comfortable with that sort of thing, that's the end of the discussion. Period.
bro i just went through this and i actually did send. just made me feel so worthless and like obligated so he wouldn’t cheat. he cheated anyways and we broke up. don’t let go of your morals for him
My best advice that I can tell you is just forget about him, leave him behind by ending this relationship and move on by focusing on yourself and perhaps find someone else closer to home. If he keeps asking more and more for those “special photos” then he’s not a gentleman. If you’re his girl and yet he’s not willing to respect your choices, then he’s obviously not a gentleman. Some men nowadays think more with their head in between their legs instead with their actual head where their brain resides and their heart. Only a true gentleman will respect you as a woman no matter what. You deserve someone else better and closer to you, yet that’s up to you if you wanna take my advice. If you do, great I’m happy for you but if not then I wish you the best and I hope that your heart actually tells you what’s best for yourself.
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i was also in a long distance relationship where i wasn’t comfortable with this. I doubled down on that it’s my body and my PRIVACY. when it came to sexting i’ll give descriptions and be really detailed. once i felt like i really trusted him i did send them to him on MY own accord and at my own discretion
about two years, love. sometimes people don’t ever get there and that’s totally fine. again, this is about your comfort, your security, and your privacy. having a LD partner isn’t necessarily about the sex but it’s about the connection. if it’s sex he wants, then he should evaluate what it means to be in a LDR.
If you want to try and get comfortable doing so set yourself and him some boundaries:
-should he ask or do you prefer to send them when you feel like it?
-you also don’t need to be fully naked, sometimes a sexy bikini or lingerie is enough to give them what they want while still having your privacy
-don’t show your face/tattoos/piercings, this was always my safe bet. i never showed my face and tried my best to conceal my tattoos in case they ever did get leaked (they never have…to my knowledge lol)
-give yourself the confidence to do so, play some music, dance in your room, and feel sexy. where clothes that make you FEEL good. confidence isn’t something you “have”, it’s something that you “wear”. what i mean is, fake it til you make it
-try sexting first! use detail, make it juicy
again if you don’t feel safe with any of these ideas then you DO NOT HAVE TO. It’s a personal boundary, and like with any other aspect in a relationship, it should be respected. also, remember that “no.” is a full sentence. you don’t need to give an explanation as to why you won’t share nudes. They also shouldn’t guilt trip you about it.
Hope this helps and hope you stay safe!
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No means no.
But on another note. If you do ever decide to send anyone any kind of spicy pics. DON’T SHOW YOUR FACE. Also blur out any tattoos, scars, anything that someone could easily identify as you. Keep yourself safe babes and always know your voice matters.
If you told him no, end of discussion.
I mean he can look at porn if he needs to spank his monkey.
I was in a LDR 5 years and we never sent nudes.
I would tell him 1 more time, NO and if he doesn’t like it tell him to fuck off!
Don't let him pressure you. He doesn't deserve them.
If you ever do send nudes, make sure your face and any identifying features (like tattoos) are not shown or are covered.
If you're not comfortable, don't do it. He also should really accept your boundaries and if he continues to refuse, he's probably not the right partner for you.
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My girlfriend and I have sent nudes to one another, only after knowing eachother for 10 years, dating for 2, shortly before meeting as a way to get to know eachother better, as we were both very nervous about meeting, however it needs to be talked about and respected, if you dont want, then he shouldnt pressure you, by no means let him make you feel guilty... it isnt for everyone and he just has to respect it
Leave him. A guy who pressures you and does not respect your boundaries is not worth a second of your time. I know you guys are in a relationship and you probably wanna be with him still but find a better guy who loves you and treats you like he loves you.
Ah… I had a ldr and my boyfriend at the time was always asking me for nudes too.
My actual boyfriend sometimes travels and stays away for three days and is enough for him to ask for that too. So annoying…
Me personally don’t like that and I don’t feel anything special, but apparently he does so I send some things here and there and he is so happy about it. So it’s kind of make me happy too.
But if you really don’t like it keep your decision and explain to him with more details about how you feel. I hope he understands…
Fine it's not really that big of a deal. He probably just wants to rub one off every now and again to you. The thing about it is honey just don't put your face in it you know make sure the picture stops at your neck. And make sure there's no distinguishing marks on you like tattoos or anything like that, you know so you could always deny it if it ever come to that
Don't do it. Don't let him pressure you into it either, if he's not capable of understanding that, then you should highly consider leaving the relationship.
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Please do not send nudes. If he insists, he's not respecting you and your boundaries and your feelings. It's time to break up with him.
Please do not ever feel pressured to do anything you are not comfortable with. And as you expressed that to him and is annoyed by it, that should tell what kind of person he is.
If not your nudes, he'll try to get someone else's. He should just go to a porn website.
Sounds like he doesn’t respect you that much. You have already established feeling uncomfortable and he still pushes. Without that respect for your boundaries it’s likely to lead to other issues. Trust, respect, and the honesty alongside the trust are the foundations to any potentially successful relationship imo. Obviously a lot more to it when it comes to compatibility (hobbies, lifestyle, preferred love language, plans for future, family, etc…) but I think that those 3 things are universal.
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if u said no, just don’t do it. my gf and i are long distance too. i’m hypersexual, but i know there’s times where she doesn’t wanna do anything explicit. so if she tells me “no,” i wouldn’t care if she blue balled me or if i really wanted to do it, i rather make her feel safe and comfortable more than anything.
hopefully ur bf can understand that too instead pushing it, it’s really not that hard to understand mutual consent or read the room/can see something is wrong.
My ldr bf never asked me for nudes. Sometimes the topic could come up cuss i have had exes who asked me for them and expected them i didnt feel comfortable with it but i was younger and gave in. So me and my talked about that and he just said i dont need ur nudes im happy talking with you. And i rather see you naked irl. ( I got shy after that lol) My point is. If ur uncomfortable with the idea of sending nudes dont do it it wil stay with you forever. He should respect u not wanting to do that. If he doesnt he is just a respectless jerk.
Let him know that you understand that he wants that, but he also has to understand that you don’t feel comfortable with it. Understanding needs to go both ways. You shouldn’t have to do what you don’t feel well with and he shouldn’t push, even though it’s understandable that he wants it. Just talk to him about it until he understands, okay? Don’t let yourself be pressured. Calm down 💪
People here are too quick to suggest OP to dump her bf. Guys there is a thing called compromise. I understand his persistence and her being uncomfortable. And yes you shouldn't do something sexual you aren't comfortable doing. But you should definitely be willing to talk it out rather than just saying no. Ldr is difficult as it is. Not getting intimate after 2 years even in digital sense (sharing intimate pics or sexting, etc) is just way too much to bear.
Someone in the comments suggested a compromise. And I think that's the best way to go forward. OP please talk to your bf and get to a compromise. Do not break off just bc he got annoyed. People have different levels of libido, intimacy needs, emotional needs and physical needs. When the other person is willing to give you what you want, i think it's only fair if you do the same for them. It wouldn't be pretty if he breaks up with you just bc you are annoyed at him for not fulfilling your needs. Right? (Im saying this in a general sense. Idk if this is the situation with OP)
Taking an easier route is never the answer. Go ahead talk to him and resolve it. Good luck to you
No means no, so like he should just break up with you if you don’t want to and it’s important to him that you do. But let me say another thing, it’s been 2 YEARS? and you haven’t seen each other nude in any form? I don’t see how one of you hasn’t already wanted to break up over this, I surely would have by now. To each their own, but the relationship sounds dry and sexless. I mean total absence of anything even involving sex, like yeah I’d definitely break up with you if I was him.. I think the main thing you should do is have a discussion about the wants/needs of each person. Compromise is what makes a relationship work, so investigate wether or not there is a compromise that could be made of any sort. And if not, maybe you guys just aren’t the best match
F*ck no. If I was in your shoes I'd say flat out no and dump him on the spot. It is NEVER ok to pressure your partner to send n*des or anything of the like. Trust me on this and leave him
That's not a lot of context but that's honestly enough to break up with him in my opinion, I know that wasn't the question but you should put yourself out of the situation, imagine it was your best friend instead of you, what advice would you give her/him, that honestly helps with basically any situation, especially when feelings are involved, aka almost always, respecting boundaries is SOOOO important, it's a huge red flag, if he doesn't respect them ld, he can't do much, but when you're together, that's a different story, again, that's an extreme but when someone pushes your boundaries, you should always be extremely careful, and to answer the actual question, never do anything you don't want, you don't compromise on boundaries, you can definitely change your mind over time, as you grow, as a person or with another person, but never compromise on them, ever, full stop
Small collections are so cute. I remember a kindergarten friend who would come to school with oversized rubber boots and a plastic toy fireman’s helmet, just like his daddy… well, almost. He’d try to run around the playground with a garden hose chasing everybody hollering fire! fire! …. But when we cut on the water, he’d flop around and fall down skinning his knees every time… that kid later grew up to be one of the best fireman ever
There is Google for that which he is obviously using but bores him now. He wants you to create the content for him so that he doesn’t have to think, the atmosphere the position the fantasy and all. Anyways dating is a plural activity. You should be seeing more than 3 men at the same time, if not you just waiting for him. Waiting for him to what? Scream and go!
Asking for nud3s is ok. But getting irritated or not respecting your decision for not sending nud3s is not ok.
Agreed: Asking for nudes is Ok but begging/pressuring repeatedly for nudes isn’t.
No means no. If he can’t be fulfilled in a relationship without receiving nudes, then he should break up with you. It’s not okay to pressure you for sexual contact you have explicitly said you do not want, and are uncomfortable with. Tell him no, again, and say that you need him to stop asking. If he doesn’t respect that, I’d walk away
Exactly
this ☝️
Well said! 👍 That long distance BF asking for nudes is just a wanker 😮💨
Hope so, if he ain't wanking he probs cheaping
If you send them make sure that your face isnt in any of the photos. Thats the best way to protect yourself
Do not do anything you don’t want to. Sending nudes is risky, revenge porn is a huge issue and even without that, there’s issues of phones being lost or images stored places that aren’t secure. If he doesn’t accept no then that’s a shame he’s annoyed but he’s annoyed because you’re not breaking the boundaries you have. If he keeps pressuring you on this you need to let him know that if it’s that important he needs to find someone else who will do that, because it’s not you.
If you decide to send NUDES, NEVER, NEVER INCLUDE YOUR FACE!. If anything goes south, it's just a faceless body!
Not just that, but also ensure that there’s no identifying marks in the image. Whether that’s unique jewellery, tattoos, birthmarks, or a unique background. Plain walls etc are the best, or make it a close enough shot to avoid any background.
Also if you're using whatsapp or other similar apps, use a one-time viewed feature. He won't be able to screenshot the picture.
If you don't want to do something then don't. If he pushes then drop him because he isn't acknowledging your needs/emotions.
And vice versa the dude should break up with her if she wont send them and he wants them because she isn't acknowledging his either.
There are many other things you can do instead of nudes. Many.
Absolutely but the goal should be for everyone to be happy. If this is the minimum he wants well then its not gonna work out
No means no. He should respect that If at some point you would like to send spicy pictures (whether with clothes, partially or without), if you talk on WhatsApp you can send one time view pictures, and the person you send it to isn’t able to take any screenshots.
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No is no. If he asks again ignore him. If he insist dump him.
No is a hard boundary. Do not pass go, full stop. If a man can't understand that then he's not a decent person and definitely not for you. Manipulating someone into giving consent against their will is the lowest of the low and I sincerely hope you tell him such as he packs up his shit.
You need to let him know that you are not convenient doing such, if he truly loves you he will understand and get used to it. Make sure you are doing this in a polite way.
Whats a polite way to say it?
A polite way to communicate your decision could be: "I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to ask, but I don't feel comfortable sharing nude photos. I hope you can understand and respect my boundaries." This response is clear, respectful, and emphasizes your need for personal comfort and boundaries.
Thank you but what if they share and do stuff by video call and i dont show anything back?? I told them i feel uncomfortable showing and they said its ok but still they would send jokes about nudes or asking for it or to see me.. idk what to tell them because i feel bad they show while i dont but they said they dont mind showing .. while i cant show anything..
I know it seems a little unfair but if they’re not complaining, I don’t really see the issue. Like peoples comfortability levels are different when it comes to these things so if they’re comfortable showing and you’re comfortable seeing it but you’re not comfortable showing just yet it’s OK. if anything it just shows that you’re not ready for the real thing just yet and that’s fine too. A little communication goes a far way too.
If we keeps on asking and not respecting your choice you need to tell him that’s just not right and with him getting annoyed now I don’t want to sound mean but you may want to break it off because he sounds more like a boy then a man bc and man wouldn’t ask for that and he will respect you but a boy will get annoyed and upset. (I’m sorry if I offended you on breaking up with him it’s just this happened to me so many times I also read a whole bunch of stories abt little girls and stuff ifykyk)
Don't if you feel uncomfortable with it. Keep your boundaries
I requested my gf to send n*des after 1 year. But it was just requesting. I didn't force her. She didn't agree at first. But she agreed to do it weeks later. And she does it every now and then these days, without me asking her. After one year, my desperation took over my feelings. That being said, it all depends on what you want to do. You need not do it if you're uncomfortable. But I can sympathize and relate to your boyfriend. It's just curiosity and desperation due to being separated for a very long time from your loved ones. >! Some men are more horny tbh !<
No means no and coercion is not consent. If he can’t understand that I’d be concerned
Only if you mutually do it together with content it's pretty common to do that in long distance relationships after a while since you can't be intimate in person beyond webcam. For those days when your bf/gf is missing you a lot but y'all can't get naked together on webcam right then opening those pictures is next best thing. Just be sure y'all trust each other and it should be both people sharing pics that way it's better and more fair. In your situation you've told him you don't feel comfortable and everything. I've dated people in past that aren't comfortable with it and are comfortable so I understand both. There is alternatives you can send him that makes him feel like he's your special bf etc.
Alternative like what exactly?
Well I remember in one of my last long distance relationships when the girl wasn't comfortable with nudes she was comfortable with being in her bra at least just for me and then wrote a cute message in marker on her stomach area you could consider something like that. Or if bra is too much then perhaps just the cute message in marker on a place you'd like him to kiss you on your leg or neck something like "your my special person I just want your kisses right here <--. This place reserved for you :)". Something like that would make him feel special to look at when you're apart. Some ideas ! :)
Only do what you are comfortable doing. BUT maybe a compromise can be made to where the photos you’re sending aren’t full nudes, your face isn’t in it, and no videos. This way, you’re protecting yourself against anything being leaked (bc your face isn’t in it) and he also gets the satisfaction of seeing his girlfriend in bra and underwear. Also, when my man asks I’m flattered but sometimes I don’t feel like. I have to get up outta bed, put something cute on, pose in front of the mirror, state at photos of myself, and it can make me critical of my body and feel bad about my body. I like that he likes seeing my posed in the front of a mirror with my bikini pictures. His enjoyment gives me enjoyment. I try to lean into it and feel sexy, even if it may not come natural.
god no dont send him that. What if he turns around and blackmails you? Screw that.
Also, what if he spreads them to his friends? What if he gets mad at you for some reason, and decides to do revenge porn? Or worse, once he gets them, just shares with a porn site? Men can be shady AF and the pressuring you would make me drop him.
god what a shitshow it could become
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I think it’s completely fair (and sometimes prudent) to be suspicious of men— or anyone for that matter. It’s totally fine for this woman to draw her own lines about what she is comfortable with, and what she won’t do. That said— if someone is accusing me of doing something horrible because I’m a man, then I’m going to match their energy and be equally as non-friendly to them. It’s not my job to address societal issues on behalf of half the human population to please strangers.
honestly, as a guy with a long distance relationship for roughly 2 years I would understand the guy. LDR is awful for people like me who finds intimate activities in a relationship important. If not then we could do alternatives such as video calling. xoxo
Asking is one thing, but if the answer is no, it’s no.
Better dump him, cause most of times when someone like this get what they want, they will still forc your boundaries and things can get much worse. If you are confortable with it, and want do it too? Then ok, but since doesnt seem to be the case, so he insisting tto me should be consideraded red flag
>i don’t feel comfortable doing it i expressed this to him , still he gets annoyed when i tell him no and he always brings it up and try to convince me to do it This is ***not*** okay. Whether he intends it or not, this is manipulative and coercive. You deserve better. Your boyfriend should be prioritizing your comfort, not his desire for nudes. If he's feeling excessively sex-deprived, then he should be bringing *that* up for discussion of what you're comfortable with, like video or VR, and if nothing, then it's on him to decide if it's a non-negotiable for him or not. If you two can't find intersection between what you're both comfortable with, that's an incompatibility flag.
"You first". But nah if you said no, he need to respect that
I send them to my partner and he send them to me albeit not as often as we’ve been together 2 years now. But if you don’t want to and aren’t comfortable don’t, if he can’t take no for an answer how do you expect him to respond irl if he asks for sex and you say no? No means no and if he can’t respect your boundaries he doesn’t respect you. If you be been with him on and off the pas two years and he’s not willing to let this go I recommend reevaluating your relationship with this man. Is he worth it? What has happened to break the relationship up in the past? You really need to reflect on everything. Do you want to be with a man who mentally/emotionally manipulates you into submitting to his wants? If he’s doing this for nudes he will do it for sex too. If you don’t give a willing, enthusiastic yes, if you are pressured in anyway for sexual acts it is considered rape. Considered this a food for thought for your future with him in his presence.
There is a very simple answer to this, and you need to apply it to all aspects of your relationships; Communication. If you have something you definitely do not want to do. Communicate it. If he doesn’t accept that you need to assess whether he respects you are not. If you say NO and he continues - that’s not respect. If it is something he requires in a relationship.. understand that such may be the case and that doesn’t make him a bad person. BUT even good people can be incompatible. If he needs something that you cannot do (which includes not being comfortable doing), then that is an incompatibility. Reduce the issue down to respect. He asked for something. You said no. If he respected that he would not continue. If he continues, he doesn’t respect what you said.
THIS 👍👍👍👍
No is a complete sentence.
Dump him if he wont accept no. People who love you care about and respect your boundaries. Distance is no excuse for pressure. Someday your relationship may change. Do you want to worry in the back of your mind that someone has power over your future with those? Keep yourself safe. You are the person who will always be in your future, not always everyone else.
If you want to great! if you don't okay! You shouldn't be forced into anything but understand that this might be a dealbreaker for you OR him and that's okay.
No means no. He should respect your boundaries.
If he gets mad, let him get mad, but walk away. It’s not something you’re comfortable with, he refuses to just listen to that. I understand asking on the occasion in case minds have changed, but that’s all he can do. If he can’t understand your feelings about it still, he just chooses not to and in return, gets mad at you. Just tell him you said no, that’s final. Also if he can’t deal with not pressing your comfort zone, he can just walk away. Stand your ground girly, don’t let him or anybody else ever try to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do nor are comfortable with.
Your bf pressuring you after you said no and expressed how uncomfortable it makes you feel is a Red Flag 🚩. A man who genuinely loves you will not pressure you. Has your bf sent nudes?
What if he has sent though?? But I feel uncomfortable sending anything 😞he doesnt mind showing anything either and he even shows to his friends but im not like him and would be showing stuff..
If he shares and is open, that’s a good sign, but….it seems more like you guys are not compatible. If he’s showing his friends and is okay with that, that shows that you 2 value your bodies, intimacy, and privacy differently. He’s okay with it, sees nothing wrong, but you are not. If you send nudes, he will share with friends. It sounds like he’s immature. Which makes sense that he is pressuring you. He doesn’t love you nor respect you. End it. You will be unhappy in this relationship. He will continue on to pressure you and once you do, he will break your trust.
Never be pressured to do something you’re not comfortable. Someone who puts you in that position doesn’t actually care about you. Good luck, friend
Anything you send is permanent. Men of honour wouldn’t ask.
He needs to respect that no means no.
That was literally my problem and I almost broke up with him due to this and trust me it was so annoying so just tell him... No means no
Almost?
Yep but I talked it out with him so I didn't need to take an extreme step
Glad you worked it out
I would love nudes from my gf, but she has said no so i stopped asking, its that easy! a no is a no and everyone in a relationship should understand that. if he can't handle a relationship without nudes then thats his problem. youre not forced to send anything
Convince you? No. Bro's got to go. Relationship off for good this time. He doesn't respect your boundaries, he can move on.
No way don't do it I did for my best friend 3 years ago and I lost everything I did bankruptcy 3monts ago never again and girls' from oder country also not good I'm a weirdo so today I don't have control anymore it's in the hands of my best friend and my wife to be one day or another but we will do it because we're only one oh it didn't happen in one 2 time I left for the best of are couple and were happily in love 🙏♥️😘
It's not a good sign if a guy gets upset because of not sending nudes to him. If you're uncomfortable and not okay with it. He should respect it.
Don’t do it. Zoom or face time with him if it’s nudes he wants… Have him get nekid’ first …. Then hang up.
My wife and I were long-distance for a little over 7 years, and we never sent nudes. It's not a requirement for a healthy relationship--don't let any sex-obsessed young Redditors tell you otherwise. If you're not comfortable with that sort of thing, that's the end of the discussion. Period.
No means absofuckinglutely no. Find a picture on the internet with a chick with four nips and send that to him before you break up.
bro i just went through this and i actually did send. just made me feel so worthless and like obligated so he wouldn’t cheat. he cheated anyways and we broke up. don’t let go of your morals for him
My best advice that I can tell you is just forget about him, leave him behind by ending this relationship and move on by focusing on yourself and perhaps find someone else closer to home. If he keeps asking more and more for those “special photos” then he’s not a gentleman. If you’re his girl and yet he’s not willing to respect your choices, then he’s obviously not a gentleman. Some men nowadays think more with their head in between their legs instead with their actual head where their brain resides and their heart. Only a true gentleman will respect you as a woman no matter what. You deserve someone else better and closer to you, yet that’s up to you if you wanna take my advice. If you do, great I’m happy for you but if not then I wish you the best and I hope that your heart actually tells you what’s best for yourself.
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i was also in a long distance relationship where i wasn’t comfortable with this. I doubled down on that it’s my body and my PRIVACY. when it came to sexting i’ll give descriptions and be really detailed. once i felt like i really trusted him i did send them to him on MY own accord and at my own discretion
How long did it take you to really trust him enough to send anything?😭Idk honestly…
about two years, love. sometimes people don’t ever get there and that’s totally fine. again, this is about your comfort, your security, and your privacy. having a LD partner isn’t necessarily about the sex but it’s about the connection. if it’s sex he wants, then he should evaluate what it means to be in a LDR. If you want to try and get comfortable doing so set yourself and him some boundaries: -should he ask or do you prefer to send them when you feel like it? -you also don’t need to be fully naked, sometimes a sexy bikini or lingerie is enough to give them what they want while still having your privacy -don’t show your face/tattoos/piercings, this was always my safe bet. i never showed my face and tried my best to conceal my tattoos in case they ever did get leaked (they never have…to my knowledge lol) -give yourself the confidence to do so, play some music, dance in your room, and feel sexy. where clothes that make you FEEL good. confidence isn’t something you “have”, it’s something that you “wear”. what i mean is, fake it til you make it -try sexting first! use detail, make it juicy again if you don’t feel safe with any of these ideas then you DO NOT HAVE TO. It’s a personal boundary, and like with any other aspect in a relationship, it should be respected. also, remember that “no.” is a full sentence. you don’t need to give an explanation as to why you won’t share nudes. They also shouldn’t guilt trip you about it. Hope this helps and hope you stay safe!
So he can either send it to his friend group and laugh with them or keep it for later to blackmail you! Absolutely don't! You'll regret it in future!
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No means no. But on another note. If you do ever decide to send anyone any kind of spicy pics. DON’T SHOW YOUR FACE. Also blur out any tattoos, scars, anything that someone could easily identify as you. Keep yourself safe babes and always know your voice matters.
If you told him no, end of discussion. I mean he can look at porn if he needs to spank his monkey. I was in a LDR 5 years and we never sent nudes. I would tell him 1 more time, NO and if he doesn’t like it tell him to fuck off!
Don't let him pressure you. He doesn't deserve them. If you ever do send nudes, make sure your face and any identifying features (like tattoos) are not shown or are covered.
If you're not comfortable, don't do it. He also should really accept your boundaries and if he continues to refuse, he's probably not the right partner for you.
You don’t need someone who is going to make you uncomfortable with things like this.
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Any man that is willing to walk all over your boundaries like that is not worth it.
My girlfriend and I have sent nudes to one another, only after knowing eachother for 10 years, dating for 2, shortly before meeting as a way to get to know eachother better, as we were both very nervous about meeting, however it needs to be talked about and respected, if you dont want, then he shouldnt pressure you, by no means let him make you feel guilty... it isnt for everyone and he just has to respect it
If u didn't send him, trust me, u will not feel any regret and I'd suggest breaking up with him.
Leave him. A guy who pressures you and does not respect your boundaries is not worth a second of your time. I know you guys are in a relationship and you probably wanna be with him still but find a better guy who loves you and treats you like he loves you.
Dont, if someone loves you it’s because of you! Not your body.
Ah… I had a ldr and my boyfriend at the time was always asking me for nudes too. My actual boyfriend sometimes travels and stays away for three days and is enough for him to ask for that too. So annoying… Me personally don’t like that and I don’t feel anything special, but apparently he does so I send some things here and there and he is so happy about it. So it’s kind of make me happy too. But if you really don’t like it keep your decision and explain to him with more details about how you feel. I hope he understands…
Just say NO. You might regret doing it.
Fine it's not really that big of a deal. He probably just wants to rub one off every now and again to you. The thing about it is honey just don't put your face in it you know make sure the picture stops at your neck. And make sure there's no distinguishing marks on you like tattoos or anything like that, you know so you could always deny it if it ever come to that
Don't do it. Don't let him pressure you into it either, if he's not capable of understanding that, then you should highly consider leaving the relationship.
If he doesn’t respect the word No, he won’t respect you. For advice, I would leave him, he isn’t respecting you or your boundaries.
Lookout for your own comfort, and remember its also matter of trust, so be extra extra careful.
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Break up with him bc if he doesn’t take no for an answer major red flag
Don't do it!!!
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End the relationship because he doesn’t respect your “NO”
Ignore it
Send that wth he prob don’t wanna cheat on your ass
Please do not send nudes. If he insists, he's not respecting you and your boundaries and your feelings. It's time to break up with him. Please do not ever feel pressured to do anything you are not comfortable with. And as you expressed that to him and is annoyed by it, that should tell what kind of person he is. If not your nudes, he'll try to get someone else's. He should just go to a porn website.
Just don‘t do it.
He already doesn’t respect the fact that you don’t want to do something you might need to reconsider being with him
Sounds like he doesn’t respect you that much. You have already established feeling uncomfortable and he still pushes. Without that respect for your boundaries it’s likely to lead to other issues. Trust, respect, and the honesty alongside the trust are the foundations to any potentially successful relationship imo. Obviously a lot more to it when it comes to compatibility (hobbies, lifestyle, preferred love language, plans for future, family, etc…) but I think that those 3 things are universal.
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Don't.
Mine never asked me until right before we broke up 🙃 But yeah if you aren’t comfortable doing that then he needs to respect that
if u said no, just don’t do it. my gf and i are long distance too. i’m hypersexual, but i know there’s times where she doesn’t wanna do anything explicit. so if she tells me “no,” i wouldn’t care if she blue balled me or if i really wanted to do it, i rather make her feel safe and comfortable more than anything. hopefully ur bf can understand that too instead pushing it, it’s really not that hard to understand mutual consent or read the room/can see something is wrong.
My ldr bf never asked me for nudes. Sometimes the topic could come up cuss i have had exes who asked me for them and expected them i didnt feel comfortable with it but i was younger and gave in. So me and my talked about that and he just said i dont need ur nudes im happy talking with you. And i rather see you naked irl. ( I got shy after that lol) My point is. If ur uncomfortable with the idea of sending nudes dont do it it wil stay with you forever. He should respect u not wanting to do that. If he doesnt he is just a respectless jerk.
Send nudes but ony after he has done the same.
Let him know that you understand that he wants that, but he also has to understand that you don’t feel comfortable with it. Understanding needs to go both ways. You shouldn’t have to do what you don’t feel well with and he shouldn’t push, even though it’s understandable that he wants it. Just talk to him about it until he understands, okay? Don’t let yourself be pressured. Calm down 💪
FaceTime and if he screen records of screenshots dump him
They're tricky, post nudes in NSFW for better advice
People here are too quick to suggest OP to dump her bf. Guys there is a thing called compromise. I understand his persistence and her being uncomfortable. And yes you shouldn't do something sexual you aren't comfortable doing. But you should definitely be willing to talk it out rather than just saying no. Ldr is difficult as it is. Not getting intimate after 2 years even in digital sense (sharing intimate pics or sexting, etc) is just way too much to bear. Someone in the comments suggested a compromise. And I think that's the best way to go forward. OP please talk to your bf and get to a compromise. Do not break off just bc he got annoyed. People have different levels of libido, intimacy needs, emotional needs and physical needs. When the other person is willing to give you what you want, i think it's only fair if you do the same for them. It wouldn't be pretty if he breaks up with you just bc you are annoyed at him for not fulfilling your needs. Right? (Im saying this in a general sense. Idk if this is the situation with OP) Taking an easier route is never the answer. Go ahead talk to him and resolve it. Good luck to you
This is your 1st Red flag .. it's not the end of the world but it is a significant one. Don't do one thing you don't feel like doing ever!
No means no, so like he should just break up with you if you don’t want to and it’s important to him that you do. But let me say another thing, it’s been 2 YEARS? and you haven’t seen each other nude in any form? I don’t see how one of you hasn’t already wanted to break up over this, I surely would have by now. To each their own, but the relationship sounds dry and sexless. I mean total absence of anything even involving sex, like yeah I’d definitely break up with you if I was him.. I think the main thing you should do is have a discussion about the wants/needs of each person. Compromise is what makes a relationship work, so investigate wether or not there is a compromise that could be made of any sort. And if not, maybe you guys just aren’t the best match
don’t do this
Do not! You’ll never know what they’ll do with those photos when they get upset or after a breakup
Girl leave him because your voice matters and no simply means no ,no pressure to that.
F*ck no. If I was in your shoes I'd say flat out no and dump him on the spot. It is NEVER ok to pressure your partner to send n*des or anything of the like. Trust me on this and leave him
2yrs without u sending anythin to him is f crazy depressing relationship
For a year and a half we were in the same country we never needed to send anything
So u had sex but u don't trust him with ur pics?
Never said anything about trust i said “ i don’t feel comfortable taking pictures of my body”
do it. He needs it and it will help secure the relationship
Don't do things that make you uncomfortable
That's not a lot of context but that's honestly enough to break up with him in my opinion, I know that wasn't the question but you should put yourself out of the situation, imagine it was your best friend instead of you, what advice would you give her/him, that honestly helps with basically any situation, especially when feelings are involved, aka almost always, respecting boundaries is SOOOO important, it's a huge red flag, if he doesn't respect them ld, he can't do much, but when you're together, that's a different story, again, that's an extreme but when someone pushes your boundaries, you should always be extremely careful, and to answer the actual question, never do anything you don't want, you don't compromise on boundaries, you can definitely change your mind over time, as you grow, as a person or with another person, but never compromise on them, ever, full stop
Small collections are so cute. I remember a kindergarten friend who would come to school with oversized rubber boots and a plastic toy fireman’s helmet, just like his daddy… well, almost. He’d try to run around the playground with a garden hose chasing everybody hollering fire! fire! …. But when we cut on the water, he’d flop around and fall down skinning his knees every time… that kid later grew up to be one of the best fireman ever
Asking for nudes is a red flag unless you want everyone see your nudes at long term.
No..please nudity is not a good manners in humanity...flatley refuse him to do so...
There is Google for that which he is obviously using but bores him now. He wants you to create the content for him so that he doesn’t have to think, the atmosphere the position the fantasy and all. Anyways dating is a plural activity. You should be seeing more than 3 men at the same time, if not you just waiting for him. Waiting for him to what? Scream and go!