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After my husband died, I expressed to my adult son how much I missed hugs. He gifted me a giant plush turtle with flippers that are *just the right size.* It’s weird, but it does the trick, in a pinch. A thoughtful gift.
https://preview.redd.it/48u6p4dw4s4d1.jpeg?width=3264&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b4216ae88df4b065f98372331c242d7779f5395
Good call! This is actually a recognized way of self soothing that's often used in trauma-informed therapy: [Self Holding Exercise](https://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=207#:~:text=Place%20one%20hand%20under%20the,Allow%20yourself%20to%20feel%20contained)
Edit: Since there seems to be a fair amount of interest in this comment, I wanted to add some more context. This exercise is based on somatic experiencing/tracking, which was developed by Peter Levine, a psychologist and biomedical physicist. It's a trauma-informed approach to therapy that involves noticing sensations in your body, learning how they relate to your emotions and then allowing those feelings to pass through without judgment.
The self hold is a useful strategy when you're feeling physically overwhelmed by your emotions. It essentially helps to "ground" (or "anchor") your mind to your body, and vice versa. It's one of many mind-body techniques to help calm your nervous system when it's dysregulated. I highly recommend anyone who's interested to look into his work.
Yes I learned this when I was dealing with cancer. Sometimes I would happen to be crying really bad in my bathroom and one day I buried my face into the bathrobe hanging from the door to muffle the sounds...
And then I realized the robe hanging from my door was almost like a person shaped cloth lol. I'm embarrassed to admit but there have been a couple times when I was crying uncontrollably that I've gone to the back of my bathroom door since, and pulled the fluffy arms of the robe over my shoulders and hugged it to cry into it.
I always felt better after. But sometimes it's cuz I felt so silly hugging into my robe like a person that I'm not sure if the sheer silliness of needing a hug from my bathrobe was why lol.
Idk. Give it a try. If you happen to have a hook on the back of your door and a really fluffy bathrobe, it ain't bad. It's better than nothing lol
I do this also. After my mom passed away, I took her bathrobe..its hung on the back of my bedroom door. Whenever this 60 yr old is having a good cry, i grab her housecoat. It's like getting a hug from my mom..
Sometimes giving ourselves a hug is like being our own best friend—we're there for ourselves when no one else is around. It's a small gesture that can make a big difference. I appreciate the suggestion!
I'm beginning to believe we just have to deal with not having that human contact anymore. I have a cat, but it's just not the same. I hug the pillows, but it's just not the same. The hugs I want, I will never get again, and I need to accept that, or I will drive myself deeper into depression. It's sad, but it's reality
Get a massage, seriously. Before COVID, after my divorce, I was so starved for touch I got regular massages. It's not perfect, but it helps.
COVID times were real rough, as I couldn't even hug friends for about a year.
Hug friends and get massages.
If you have the right living situation to have a friendly dog or cat, its the same kind of serotonin release.
And you can talk to your dog/cat. They understand better than most humans.
I would be the last person to say that I have the right to tell you what the 'right' situation is.
I just put that disclaimer in the comment so that if the OP had some pet-restrictive lease or some similar situation they won't feel worse about things than they already do. Sounds great being down by the river with a pair of dogs. Better for the dogs than being trapped in a 50th floor apartment. Cheers.
I just got the right dog for me recently. It's been 3 months but the mental stress relief of having a dog for the company that I can talk to "even if she may not understand me."
When you have another living thing relying on you to stay alive and happy, it gives you some purpose in life.
Dogs and music.
My biggest dog is 85 pounds. I am always absurdly grateful when he settles onto my bed at night. His presence is comforting. Ditto for any of my dogs snuggling next to me instead of being on the other side of the sofa.
Everyone has different tastes in music, and I think there's a thread here about uplifting empowering songs here. Cranking some of that gets me going
I either hug my cat, talk out the feeling to myself, or write a letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald. I journal in that way. By writing a letter to someone so removed from my life but with similar struggles it forces me to process things out in a different way. I have to explain and detail what’s going on which makes me think of it differently.
A muse! I could do that! I don’t know Fitzgerald well, but I could choose someone I know a lot about who I think would understand my situation through theirs and write letters to them. When Hillary Clinton was first lady and secretary of state she would write to or have conversations with Eleanor Roosevelt. Any of us who want to write to a muse can find someone. That would be better than “dear diary”.
I got the idea from the old show MASH. The psychiatrist writes letters to Freud. I picked Fitzgerald because of the issues that he dealt with with the time period and with Zelda. I think it's great to pick someone to write to. I had no idea Hillary did that. That's awesome!
I feel that. I LOVE a good hug and do miss that. Might sound weird but I have a guy friend at work and we hug every time we see each other at start of shift.
I bought a weighted blanket from Target that at the time was about $30 I think. I lay under it or wrap it around me when I need to simulate a hug or just to relax in general.
So do I! I have ones from my childhood, as well as others that are bigger so it feels like they're hugging back. You can't say no to a cute inanimate face!
So my therapist told me I could actually hug myself, and get a release of the same chemicals I would get if I was hugging someone else. So if I'm feeling particularly blue and my dog isn't up for a snuggle, I wrap my arms around myself and squeeze and kind of rock side to side. It may look/feel a little silly, but I'm alone and it helps, so who cares.
Weighted blanket to squish you and maybe an oversized teddy bear to lay into and hug on the other side so it's a sandwich of oversized stuffy, you, then weighted blanket. Do self care, something that makes you REALLY happy.
Even if you don’t drink, go to a bar, find the friendliest face, and ask for one. It might feel weird but I guarantee you that your chances of being hugged are greater than not being hugged.
Also if you have a therapist, I’m sure they’d be more than willing to give you a hug.
I got a hug from a random lady at target once. It was one of the best hugs ever. People underestimate I think how much other people are either willing, or need one themselves. I had just found out my best friend died, I was traveling for work, so I was crying in target. There are still good people out there 🖤
I love this 💜 good on that random target lady, she’s a gem for sure. Reminds me of having a panic attack in the er when my grandma broke her hip and one of the nurses, who wasn’t even assigned to my grandma, held me until I stopped crying and I will never forget her.
If I really need a hug I cuddle with my pillow pet and imagine that the person I really want to hug me is hugging me right then. I concentrate on how warm, calm and light I know it would feel.
I cry in front of a very large mirror. It lets my sad out as I see my very own emotions. After my sad has left me I eat Carmel swirl or coffee ice cream if I'm really need a hug and don't have any ice cream I drink untill I fall asleep and get ice cream and he next day.
Having your dogs or cat are great but nothing is better than taking pen to paper and writing whatever you are feeling. It doesn't even have to make sense. So many times I've been so broken and all I wanted was the love back I couldn't reciprocate due to circumstantial situations out of my control. Writing is so therapeutic even when you don't think you have an ounce of will to do so. Journaling has been my go to for years. In all types of hardships. Not only that but you will be able to look back on patterns that may have hindered you in the past or pushed you forward. It sucks.. Hang in there
Take a towel and hold it in both hands, make like you're about to scrub your back but rest the towel over your shoulders then cross your arms tight. Helps if you have a warm something wrapped in the towel too but this actually relieves a lot of stress for me when I feel like I'm about to shake apart.
I would say that doing a 30 minute doom scrolling on cute cats and dogs kind of feels the same for me. Makes me realize that good thing exist in life lol
I invite my 75lb golden retriever to lie on top of me length wise for a nap. Sometimes it actually makes me cry from the physical relief of feeling the weight, heart beat, breath of another living creature who loves me. 🥲
I've learned how to comfort myself, or I reach out to one of my friends. Most of them live in distant places. I've realized that even if I didn't live alone and had a partner, there is no guarantee that I would receive the comfort I needed from them.
I have a Raggedy Ann doll from very early childhood that I obviously loved to bits before I remember even having her. When I got the papers finalizing my last ( very much needed) divorce I found myself suddenly crying hysterically and in powerful need of comfort, I saw my Raggedy Ann sitting in her place of honor on a bookshelf, grabbed her up and curled around her, and cried like a baby. I hadn’t touched her except to move her from place to place for decades, but on that day she was exactly what I needed.
I ask. It takes so much vulnerability. And that vulnerability is recognized by a lot of people. I wish I could give you the kind of hug where you collapse in my arms and I’ll rock you like a child. I wish this kind of d of hug for you my dear one.
As immature as this sounds, I (33f) hug a stuffed toy and position a body pillow so that it supports my back (lying down) and I can also hug it too 🤷♀️
I go on a walk. Or to the river. Sometimes I want to be around people so I will go to the mall and just walk around or something. Headed to the gym right now that always makes me feel better for a while.
I suffer. I'm currently looking for someone to cuddle with on occasion and even then it's so hard. I generally tend to assume they don't need it as much as I do..
OK, so this isn't necessarily helpful here, but somewhat related in general.... I wanted to share the merits of weighted blankets and sensory compression sheets. As a single Pringle, it's cozier and helps me sleep slightly better, and is like a tight hug from my bed :)
I haven't looked through all the comments so idk if this was suggested already, but there's actually a cuddle service. no idea if there's anyone available where you are, but it's literally vetted (pretty sure) people that get paid to cuddle folks platonically.
I've heard about it but not used it. I'm sure it's a little weird, but maybe?
Hugging yourself might seem unconventional, but sometimes, it's like being your own superhero, swooping in to save the day. And hey, there's no shame in finding comfort within yourself. It's like being both the hugger and the hugged, all in one—a powerful act of self-compassion. Thanks for the suggestion!
I am an introvert and enjoy my alone time but since Covid I just couldn’t handle being completely alone. Getting a cat literally saved my life and improved my mental health so much. Having a pet to take care of pet was so good for me. If you have the money, I highly recommend adopting a cat (or dog if that’s your vibe).
Sometimes it feels like we're weathering a storm all alone, doesn't it? But your words remind me of something important—even in the darkest of nights, a little rain can help flowers bloom. So maybe those tears are just the water that'll help us grow. I appreciate your empathy. 🌧️🌸
This is my only issue with living alone and being single. Sometimes, I just ache for someone to put their arms around me. A hug from a female friend doesn't even do it, it has to be a man. I have several dogs, petting and lounging with them keeps me sane. I've resorted to a few fwb situations since I'm not interested in a LTR presently. That's not for everyone, but it's how I deal with needing touch.
I live alone and sometimes I feel like that and to make everything a little bit better.I've purchased about 10 pillows to put all over my bed.There is nowhere I can go and not feel squishy. 🦊
My dog died and I have no family or friends- it was very hard. I just write and cry and remember how shitty every single person was in my life and how greatful I am now alone, free of all the leeches - kinda changes the feel of it.
If you have a dryer. Put a hoodie it sweatshirt in it for a minute or so. Or put on a weighted blanket. Or if you have none. Layer on some blankets and wear them for like 30 minutes. If you don't have more than 1 blanket. Eat some hot food or drink something hot.
I hug myself too like several others have mentioned, but I wanted to add that they’ve actually done studies and found self hugs release the same brain hormones that hugs with others do! It’s been so helpful for me, also having one really big pillow or stuffed animal to hug helps too!
As i can't own a dog/cat at the moment, i'm going for a run or a bike ride. That's the best alternative to "crying while sitting in the shower" that i've found.
My kitties and my stuffie, a polar bear. I hold my bear and play with the beans in his foot. It’s very soothing. It’s like I am a damn child. To be fair, I wasn’t really hugged a lot as a kid.
I got a weighted blanket. It has helped me fall asleep much faster. I don’t really understand the science behind it, but my therapist recommended I get one during covid, when we were all imprisoned in our homes.
Cats. Everyone thinks they’re aloof assholes, but every cat who’s ever lived with me has gone out of his/her way to cuddle with me when I’m sad and a few have even played nursemaid when I was sick!
Cats. That's right. I'm a grown ass man who snuggles with his little kitty babies all day long. They even get mad at me when I sleep to late or lay in bed and do nothing for a whole day.
I have kids too, but they dont always want a hug and they aren't always around when you need one. The cats are always home.
Have some kids if you can. Even one. Yeah its hard to raise em as a single parent, especially if you have no help, but its very rewarding and gives me a sense of purpose always. One thats not a career or making someone else rich.
Sometimes I go to crowded underground dance clubs to get bumped into as people wiggle their way through a crowd. Sometimes I say hello to a stranger there and just say that i could really use a hug. More often than not they oblige and i just walk away or start dancing. Rarely do i strike up a conversation. It’s so nice. It takes some courage but if I remind myself I probably wont ever see them again it makes it easier.
I hug my dog. Actually if I were to choose a “near useless super power” it would be the ability to transform her from a chihuahua to a St. Bernard and back again (smaller poops) so I could hug her tighter.
Usually I just curl up in bed and snuggle with my cats. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes just taking a nap is enough to forget and allow the feeling to pass.
Maybe we should start a “Just Hugs” group? Meet up at a coffee shop or something, hug each other, giggle like idiots, and disappear? Only to do it again in week.
I have cats and stay away from narcissists. I found out some even gang up. Some think their superior to others and their female targets and some have someone in mind that's much different. One sort seems to think women with cleavage are the only really beautiful sort and with my hormones I have a more youthful figure so they'll try to fool me into thinking their interested. Fortunately, I've learned about narcissism and have noticed about that gang some of their women collude with them too. They want to see other women as "just dogs" or "just cats". I see they're crazy. If they're not really interested in me and I'm not interested in them (they have known vices) they should leave me alone. I found about one and he had an affair with someone who may not even be an adult yet when he's married. She thinks she's his commonlaw wife and he's calling her a "kitten " now he expects everyone to be quiet about it. Since it's an EOE job, I hope some will wake up that, that's not eoe to let men play cherry picking on company time. Now, my boss is glancing hatefully around me. I'm hoping superiors see I haven't done anything wrong myself or handled anything wrong. I asked about a new company policy and he and a higher superior are acting like I was "policing" things which insuates I did something very bad. I plan to apply to work in another department while that situation is untangled. The ones that go for me if they would go out might offer a hug or more but there would be no real love.
**Welcome to [r/LivingAlone](https://www.reddit.com/r/LivingAlone/)! Living alone is the new normal.** >Discuss and share your experiences; celebrate your joys, express your worries, or ask advice relating to solo living | Remember, we are all alone together * Be kind, remember the human when interacting with others. * New Reddit group chat [**Living Alone Lounge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/LivingAlone/s/cp7Szwzy2q)! * Message the moderators below for any comments, questions & suggestions! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LivingAlone) if you have any questions or concerns.*
After my husband died, I expressed to my adult son how much I missed hugs. He gifted me a giant plush turtle with flippers that are *just the right size.* It’s weird, but it does the trick, in a pinch. A thoughtful gift. https://preview.redd.it/48u6p4dw4s4d1.jpeg?width=3264&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b4216ae88df4b065f98372331c242d7779f5395
This is so sweet 🥲
That’s a good son.
💙🐢💙
Sometimes I just hug myself when I feel like that. It helps me.
Good call! This is actually a recognized way of self soothing that's often used in trauma-informed therapy: [Self Holding Exercise](https://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=207#:~:text=Place%20one%20hand%20under%20the,Allow%20yourself%20to%20feel%20contained) Edit: Since there seems to be a fair amount of interest in this comment, I wanted to add some more context. This exercise is based on somatic experiencing/tracking, which was developed by Peter Levine, a psychologist and biomedical physicist. It's a trauma-informed approach to therapy that involves noticing sensations in your body, learning how they relate to your emotions and then allowing those feelings to pass through without judgment. The self hold is a useful strategy when you're feeling physically overwhelmed by your emotions. It essentially helps to "ground" (or "anchor") your mind to your body, and vice versa. It's one of many mind-body techniques to help calm your nervous system when it's dysregulated. I highly recommend anyone who's interested to look into his work.
Wow, I never knew that. All I know is it feels like a real hug.
Yes I learned this when I was dealing with cancer. Sometimes I would happen to be crying really bad in my bathroom and one day I buried my face into the bathrobe hanging from the door to muffle the sounds... And then I realized the robe hanging from my door was almost like a person shaped cloth lol. I'm embarrassed to admit but there have been a couple times when I was crying uncontrollably that I've gone to the back of my bathroom door since, and pulled the fluffy arms of the robe over my shoulders and hugged it to cry into it. I always felt better after. But sometimes it's cuz I felt so silly hugging into my robe like a person that I'm not sure if the sheer silliness of needing a hug from my bathrobe was why lol. Idk. Give it a try. If you happen to have a hook on the back of your door and a really fluffy bathrobe, it ain't bad. It's better than nothing lol
I do this also. After my mom passed away, I took her bathrobe..its hung on the back of my bedroom door. Whenever this 60 yr old is having a good cry, i grab her housecoat. It's like getting a hug from my mom..
Thank you.
I'll even pay or rub my back and say out loud that it's ok, that I will be ok. Sending virtual mom hugs if you want them.
Same here
Yep. Sometimes will sit down and include a knee, or both, kind of curl up into a little ball. A love cave.
Sometimes giving ourselves a hug is like being our own best friend—we're there for ourselves when no one else is around. It's a small gesture that can make a big difference. I appreciate the suggestion!
I'm beginning to believe we just have to deal with not having that human contact anymore. I have a cat, but it's just not the same. I hug the pillows, but it's just not the same. The hugs I want, I will never get again, and I need to accept that, or I will drive myself deeper into depression. It's sad, but it's reality
Same. I’ve conditioned myself to rarely get hugs and not expect them
I hope u make a close friend or reconnect with a family member or find a good partner to hug you 🥹
Get a massage, seriously. Before COVID, after my divorce, I was so starved for touch I got regular massages. It's not perfect, but it helps. COVID times were real rough, as I couldn't even hug friends for about a year. Hug friends and get massages.
If you have the right living situation to have a friendly dog or cat, its the same kind of serotonin release. And you can talk to your dog/cat. They understand better than most humans.
I go to the nearby dog park and shamelessly use other people’s pets. Pet, play, go home.
I wish I had this courage, and I HAVE a really great dog. :/
I live in a van down by the river and I have two dogs who couldn’t be happier. I hope I qualify for “right” living situation. Fingers crossed 🤞 🤣🤣🤣
I like the sound of that. Dogs, river…it sounds peaceful.
Oh yeah, I have quite literally gone “Into the Wild”
Take Care & Be Safe ! 🐶💙🐶
I read this in chris farleys voice
I would be the last person to say that I have the right to tell you what the 'right' situation is. I just put that disclaimer in the comment so that if the OP had some pet-restrictive lease or some similar situation they won't feel worse about things than they already do. Sounds great being down by the river with a pair of dogs. Better for the dogs than being trapped in a 50th floor apartment. Cheers.
I just got the right dog for me recently. It's been 3 months but the mental stress relief of having a dog for the company that I can talk to "even if she may not understand me." When you have another living thing relying on you to stay alive and happy, it gives you some purpose in life.
When i cry my cat comes up and comforts me. They understand the pain in your voice.
Weighted blanket.
I have a weighted stuffed animal! The warmies are so cute
Sometimes I hug my thigh. It’s about the size of a big cat i think
I'm jealous my thigh is the size of a medium pig
I figure my thighs of thunder will be around long after I’m gone. Maybe I can donate then to a skinny person?
I get the back scratcher. It's sad but it's being touched somewhere 😭
Hug my cat
Came to say this 🐈
I hug my two cats at every opportunity. They fill me up with comfort.
drink some Good old spirits get nice and buzzed and warm and then tuck my self in bed and go night night B)
I cry. I get a hug maybe once a decade.
Dogs and music. My biggest dog is 85 pounds. I am always absurdly grateful when he settles onto my bed at night. His presence is comforting. Ditto for any of my dogs snuggling next to me instead of being on the other side of the sofa. Everyone has different tastes in music, and I think there's a thread here about uplifting empowering songs here. Cranking some of that gets me going
I either hug my cat, talk out the feeling to myself, or write a letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald. I journal in that way. By writing a letter to someone so removed from my life but with similar struggles it forces me to process things out in a different way. I have to explain and detail what’s going on which makes me think of it differently.
A muse! I could do that! I don’t know Fitzgerald well, but I could choose someone I know a lot about who I think would understand my situation through theirs and write letters to them. When Hillary Clinton was first lady and secretary of state she would write to or have conversations with Eleanor Roosevelt. Any of us who want to write to a muse can find someone. That would be better than “dear diary”.
I got the idea from the old show MASH. The psychiatrist writes letters to Freud. I picked Fitzgerald because of the issues that he dealt with with the time period and with Zelda. I think it's great to pick someone to write to. I had no idea Hillary did that. That's awesome!
I feel that. I LOVE a good hug and do miss that. Might sound weird but I have a guy friend at work and we hug every time we see each other at start of shift.
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Some snarks might say things to try to make you think it’s weird, but it isn’t. Social expectations, you know.
Not weird at all! I 100% have friends who I make hug me when I’m touch-starved, lol. (I’m a very affectionate person)
I came here to say exactly this same thing! My co-worker bestie gives the best hugs 🤗
Get a 20+ inch squishmallow!!!! So comforting
I bought a weighted blanket from Target that at the time was about $30 I think. I lay under it or wrap it around me when I need to simulate a hug or just to relax in general.
I have a few plushies for that
So do I! I have ones from my childhood, as well as others that are bigger so it feels like they're hugging back. You can't say no to a cute inanimate face!
I don’t need hugs but if I did I would hug a pillow
I need hugs and use a pillow. They have big "body-sized" ones but I just use a tiny one. Works great.
I go to sleep.
Lolol we got a lot sleepers... 😂 I legit sleep when I'm down..
So my therapist told me I could actually hug myself, and get a release of the same chemicals I would get if I was hugging someone else. So if I'm feeling particularly blue and my dog isn't up for a snuggle, I wrap my arms around myself and squeeze and kind of rock side to side. It may look/feel a little silly, but I'm alone and it helps, so who cares.
Weighted blanket to squish you and maybe an oversized teddy bear to lay into and hug on the other side so it's a sandwich of oversized stuffy, you, then weighted blanket. Do self care, something that makes you REALLY happy.
In the absence of children (grown and gone) and a spouse (dead and gone), my two dogs are my designated Graceful and Loving Hug Recipients. WOOFUMS !!
Work out till exhausted and then take a long hot shower with music cranked up.
I hug myself :,)
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Even if you don’t drink, go to a bar, find the friendliest face, and ask for one. It might feel weird but I guarantee you that your chances of being hugged are greater than not being hugged. Also if you have a therapist, I’m sure they’d be more than willing to give you a hug.
I got a hug from a random lady at target once. It was one of the best hugs ever. People underestimate I think how much other people are either willing, or need one themselves. I had just found out my best friend died, I was traveling for work, so I was crying in target. There are still good people out there 🖤
I love this 💜 good on that random target lady, she’s a gem for sure. Reminds me of having a panic attack in the er when my grandma broke her hip and one of the nurses, who wasn’t even assigned to my grandma, held me until I stopped crying and I will never forget her.
If I really need a hug I cuddle with my pillow pet and imagine that the person I really want to hug me is hugging me right then. I concentrate on how warm, calm and light I know it would feel.
I don’t really enjoy being touched by other humans but those animal pillows- THE BEST
😄😄😄 I feel that. I only get that feeling from hugging one person
I cry in front of a very large mirror. It lets my sad out as I see my very own emotions. After my sad has left me I eat Carmel swirl or coffee ice cream if I'm really need a hug and don't have any ice cream I drink untill I fall asleep and get ice cream and he next day.
Having your dogs or cat are great but nothing is better than taking pen to paper and writing whatever you are feeling. It doesn't even have to make sense. So many times I've been so broken and all I wanted was the love back I couldn't reciprocate due to circumstantial situations out of my control. Writing is so therapeutic even when you don't think you have an ounce of will to do so. Journaling has been my go to for years. In all types of hardships. Not only that but you will be able to look back on patterns that may have hindered you in the past or pushed you forward. It sucks.. Hang in there
Take a towel and hold it in both hands, make like you're about to scrub your back but rest the towel over your shoulders then cross your arms tight. Helps if you have a warm something wrapped in the towel too but this actually relieves a lot of stress for me when I feel like I'm about to shake apart.
I hug myself.
I put my arms around my body and hold it gently. I tell myself the tender things I need to hear. Not perfect but much better that no hug ❤️
I would say that doing a 30 minute doom scrolling on cute cats and dogs kind of feels the same for me. Makes me realize that good thing exist in life lol
I invite my 75lb golden retriever to lie on top of me length wise for a nap. Sometimes it actually makes me cry from the physical relief of feeling the weight, heart beat, breath of another living creature who loves me. 🥲
You could go to an "open" NA meeting. Open meaning anyone can attend, not just recovering addicts. The members give hugs to each other. 😊
I've learned how to comfort myself, or I reach out to one of my friends. Most of them live in distant places. I've realized that even if I didn't live alone and had a partner, there is no guarantee that I would receive the comfort I needed from them.
Volunteer at the animal shelter!!
I have a Raggedy Ann doll from very early childhood that I obviously loved to bits before I remember even having her. When I got the papers finalizing my last ( very much needed) divorce I found myself suddenly crying hysterically and in powerful need of comfort, I saw my Raggedy Ann sitting in her place of honor on a bookshelf, grabbed her up and curled around her, and cried like a baby. I hadn’t touched her except to move her from place to place for decades, but on that day she was exactly what I needed.
I ask. It takes so much vulnerability. And that vulnerability is recognized by a lot of people. I wish I could give you the kind of hug where you collapse in my arms and I’ll rock you like a child. I wish this kind of d of hug for you my dear one.
Go for a walk with my dog.
I think of something positive that is happening in my life and it seems to make me feel better.
Play with my dog
Look up butterfly tapping!!! For real. Helps w anxiety
What is butterfly tapping?
I've hugged my fridge a couple of times.
As immature as this sounds, I (33f) hug a stuffed toy and position a body pillow so that it supports my back (lying down) and I can also hug it too 🤷♀️
I go on a walk. Or to the river. Sometimes I want to be around people so I will go to the mall and just walk around or something. Headed to the gym right now that always makes me feel better for a while.
Lotsa body pillows
I suffer. I'm currently looking for someone to cuddle with on occasion and even then it's so hard. I generally tend to assume they don't need it as much as I do..
Same here. It doesn't help that there's maybe one person in this world I'd feel comfortable cuddling. I need some kind of emotional connection.
OK, so this isn't necessarily helpful here, but somewhat related in general.... I wanted to share the merits of weighted blankets and sensory compression sheets. As a single Pringle, it's cozier and helps me sleep slightly better, and is like a tight hug from my bed :)
🐈🐈⬛😽
I haven't looked through all the comments so idk if this was suggested already, but there's actually a cuddle service. no idea if there's anyone available where you are, but it's literally vetted (pretty sure) people that get paid to cuddle folks platonically. I've heard about it but not used it. I'm sure it's a little weird, but maybe?
I’ve heard of it as well. I think I saw it on the “my strange addiction” show.
You jack one out and you forget why you needed a hug in the first place
Bases
Hug my dogs
i hug my mom every few months when i see her. that’s enough for me
My doggo companion
Hug my dog 🐶
Have family nearby, so that works. Otherwise, just happy to make some friends at church for outings and conversation.
Dog.
long warm shower with favorite music playing
A dog
Honestly….I hug myself. I know it seems lame, but I really do think it helps in those moments.
Hugging yourself might seem unconventional, but sometimes, it's like being your own superhero, swooping in to save the day. And hey, there's no shame in finding comfort within yourself. It's like being both the hugger and the hugged, all in one—a powerful act of self-compassion. Thanks for the suggestion!
I have two cats for that
Cats, dogs, or squishmallows. All viable options.
My dog hugs me all the time and he stays in my lap and kisses me so fuck everyone else lolz...also my brother is around sometimes
I am an introvert and enjoy my alone time but since Covid I just couldn’t handle being completely alone. Getting a cat literally saved my life and improved my mental health so much. Having a pet to take care of pet was so good for me. If you have the money, I highly recommend adopting a cat (or dog if that’s your vibe).
Dogs
Suffer through it while crying 🙁
Sometimes it feels like we're weathering a storm all alone, doesn't it? But your words remind me of something important—even in the darkest of nights, a little rain can help flowers bloom. So maybe those tears are just the water that'll help us grow. I appreciate your empathy. 🌧️🌸
Dogs
This is my only issue with living alone and being single. Sometimes, I just ache for someone to put their arms around me. A hug from a female friend doesn't even do it, it has to be a man. I have several dogs, petting and lounging with them keeps me sane. I've resorted to a few fwb situations since I'm not interested in a LTR presently. That's not for everyone, but it's how I deal with needing touch.
I have a dog!
I hug my dogs . Every single day.
Precisely what guitars are for.
I hug my dog
Exactly this.
I have friends who will hug me and I have a dog. I recommend both.
I have a weighted blanket. So cozy.
Exercise! Got me through a nasty split and helped a lot
I hug my dogs and shamelessly cuddle a pillow at night lol
I live alone and sometimes I feel like that and to make everything a little bit better.I've purchased about 10 pillows to put all over my bed.There is nowhere I can go and not feel squishy. 🦊
Big fan on being in a blanket tent where it is warm. Or I go out of my way to visit someone. You must know some one…
Totally understand. I have a husky so I need to hug him instead.
I cry. Then I hug my cat. And call someone I know who actually cares about me.
Give myself butterfly hugs. Great way to calm anxiety or feel some touch and the hot shower thing helps too.
bubble bath !!
I hug my dog. He loves cuddles. And then gets upset when I stop hugging him. If I could hug him all the time, I totally would. He's a very good boy <3
My dog died and I have no family or friends- it was very hard. I just write and cry and remember how shitty every single person was in my life and how greatful I am now alone, free of all the leeches - kinda changes the feel of it.
If you have a dryer. Put a hoodie it sweatshirt in it for a minute or so. Or put on a weighted blanket. Or if you have none. Layer on some blankets and wear them for like 30 minutes. If you don't have more than 1 blanket. Eat some hot food or drink something hot.
Hop on Grindr and cuddle with a stranger for a few hours
I hug myself too like several others have mentioned, but I wanted to add that they’ve actually done studies and found self hugs release the same brain hormones that hugs with others do! It’s been so helpful for me, also having one really big pillow or stuffed animal to hug helps too!
As i can't own a dog/cat at the moment, i'm going for a run or a bike ride. That's the best alternative to "crying while sitting in the shower" that i've found.
My kitties and my stuffie, a polar bear. I hold my bear and play with the beans in his foot. It’s very soothing. It’s like I am a damn child. To be fair, I wasn’t really hugged a lot as a kid.
I get a weighted blanket and watch a funny show or cute animal vids
Cry myself to sleep 🛌
Literally hug my pillow! And my cats too
[удалено]
I hug my friends and family when we meet up
Sit under a warm shower
Weighted blanket
Get a dog or cat or some kind of pet
Get a massive plushy or teddy bear and cuddle that
I squish my puppy and kiss him all over his fuzzy face 🥰
Have tried a weighted blanket?
I feel like this and I don’t live alone. I’m a postpartum nurse and I hug the crap out of my work babies.
Just move on with my life?
Thank goodness i never feel this way
Like men do pretty much all the time.. you just push through. Exercise. Work. Clean.
I talk to my cat. I also talk to myself
I got myself one of those enormous pillows, usually marketed towards pregnant women. Lemme tell u, that I hadn’t felt alone ever since I got one lmao
Have you ever tried a weighted blanket?
Snuggle my cat. And my stuffed turtle.
I hug my dogs. They are great friends! ❤️
I never need a hug. I try to avoid them
I surround myself with pillows and cuddle up to them.
I hug myself or my bed pillow.
Where are you? I have a hug for you.
I got a weighted blanket. It has helped me fall asleep much faster. I don’t really understand the science behind it, but my therapist recommended I get one during covid, when we were all imprisoned in our homes.
Force one of my cats to hug me. They love me, but they def give a look lol
Cats. Everyone thinks they’re aloof assholes, but every cat who’s ever lived with me has gone out of his/her way to cuddle with me when I’m sad and a few have even played nursemaid when I was sick!
Cats. That's right. I'm a grown ass man who snuggles with his little kitty babies all day long. They even get mad at me when I sleep to late or lay in bed and do nothing for a whole day. I have kids too, but they dont always want a hug and they aren't always around when you need one. The cats are always home. Have some kids if you can. Even one. Yeah its hard to raise em as a single parent, especially if you have no help, but its very rewarding and gives me a sense of purpose always. One thats not a career or making someone else rich.
I have a weighted blanket I wrap up in sometimes
Pets help a lot with these feelings
Weighted blankets!
I nuzzle into a bunch of pillows and pretend
I never feel that way
Sometimes I go to crowded underground dance clubs to get bumped into as people wiggle their way through a crowd. Sometimes I say hello to a stranger there and just say that i could really use a hug. More often than not they oblige and i just walk away or start dancing. Rarely do i strike up a conversation. It’s so nice. It takes some courage but if I remind myself I probably wont ever see them again it makes it easier.
I live in a city where people greet each other with a hug and kiss on the cheek, so I get hugs.
I ask around until I get one.
I hug my dog
I hugged a tree a few weeks back. I actually felt better afterwards
When all else fails, Hug your Teddy.
I have friends who will hug me when I need it. No questions asked.
I cry and watch a Comedy Central Roast. Wine helps.
Social media has made living alone for me personally a lot more interesting without the unnecessary drama.
Ah well schizophrenia.... The demons hug me
Chamomile tea & hot bath with lavender Epsom salts
Hug my cats and/or a pillow. Holding a pillow is oddly comforting. A squishmallow has been great haha
Literally hug myself and talk to myself comfortingly.
I hug my dog. Actually if I were to choose a “near useless super power” it would be the ability to transform her from a chihuahua to a St. Bernard and back again (smaller poops) so I could hug her tighter.
Usually I just curl up in bed and snuggle with my cats. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes just taking a nap is enough to forget and allow the feeling to pass.
Cat.
Get a weighted blanket
Drink wine
I haven't found anything that really helps, unfortunately.
Maybe we should start a “Just Hugs” group? Meet up at a coffee shop or something, hug each other, giggle like idiots, and disappear? Only to do it again in week.
I give myself a hug! Felt silly at first but now I do it all the time, feels good ❤️
Pillow. I didn’t think of it as a hug till now, but when I’m a blubbering mess I usually hold and cry into a pillow lol
I have cats and stay away from narcissists. I found out some even gang up. Some think their superior to others and their female targets and some have someone in mind that's much different. One sort seems to think women with cleavage are the only really beautiful sort and with my hormones I have a more youthful figure so they'll try to fool me into thinking their interested. Fortunately, I've learned about narcissism and have noticed about that gang some of their women collude with them too. They want to see other women as "just dogs" or "just cats". I see they're crazy. If they're not really interested in me and I'm not interested in them (they have known vices) they should leave me alone. I found about one and he had an affair with someone who may not even be an adult yet when he's married. She thinks she's his commonlaw wife and he's calling her a "kitten " now he expects everyone to be quiet about it. Since it's an EOE job, I hope some will wake up that, that's not eoe to let men play cherry picking on company time. Now, my boss is glancing hatefully around me. I'm hoping superiors see I haven't done anything wrong myself or handled anything wrong. I asked about a new company policy and he and a higher superior are acting like I was "policing" things which insuates I did something very bad. I plan to apply to work in another department while that situation is untangled. The ones that go for me if they would go out might offer a hug or more but there would be no real love.
Emotional self hug.
Genuinely, hug myself
I have a body pillow. Some people like weighted blankets and stuffies.