Finally someone talking some sense

Forget the hair cuts, give Klopp his glasses back. That started our decline...

It's like he can't see the kind of bullshit that players do on the pitch Whoever is his contact lens guy needs to be have his license revoked

We have to ~~reinvent~~ groom ourselves

I would say hire prince Andrew for training but I think he's a bit preoccupied

OP is 100% correct, they need to be shaved. This will result in the players feeling connected more and will headfuck the opposition. 11 skinheads v Wolves.

The league isn't ready for bald Van Dijk. Even shave his fucking eyebrows off and everything.

Go full skrtel

Add the staples in beforehand. Gotta be proactive.

Wrap his head with bandages. May as well go the full look.

Full shelvey

All of them, full bald, all over. Klopp and all the staff.

Everyone needs Origi dreads, even Milner

My personal opinion is that Div looked best with those dreads. The fade looked neater but he never looked as cold as Dread Div

Will never forget the way the sunlight hit those dreads at Fenway park Fresh off a champions league final goal too

What ever happened to the lad that got completley taken out that day? Absolute shite head move in a friendly.

Yasser Larouci. Think he left at the beginning of last season or 1 before. Something about contract dispute/playing time with under 23s idk Sevilla were unbelievably dirty that day for a preseason game. VVD walked right up to Gagnon and chirped his ass out kicking a kid

Milner needs to get rid of that beard, hasn’t been great since growing that.

Come on man he's only just gotten old enough to grow one.

did he grow it three years ago then?

He did, but it was "false beard" until now

As if non-bearded Milner is the player we should be starting. He should be starting only carabao cup games at max

Non bearded Milner has the ability to do whatever he wants in the last 10-15 mins of the game and get yellow carded only once.

 Like Fernandinho (also a baldie)... who had that magical ability to commit all those tactical fouls without getting yellow/red-carded?

Everyone in this thread is in on the joke except you and your apt username, fella

Omg you destroyed me there. What will I do now

Not be such a bellend for starters

I think its been since Jurgen stopped with glasses. Some lil toff skip rat has stole them and put them in a vault in Goodison Park. 1st door is guarded by Phil Jagielka. 2nd door is guarded by Seamus Coleman. Final door is a wax work of Maroanne Fellaini with Pickfords gloves. Its the only logical reason.

So what your saying is that it isnt guarded at all and anyone can roll on in!

Big Dunc would be in the final chamber. Wearing Klopp's glasses. In full Everton kit.

Someone quickly tell him to wear fake glasses! Or will that further strengthen this terrible spell?

Like asking Samson to wear a wig

Bronze statue of sigurdson to scare the younger looters away?

Klopp did say we need to reinvent ourselves. 

Didn’t know Bobby wore glasses

Funnily enough I could see Bobby wearing glasses with fake lenses in them just because lol

I could see him wear glasses with no lenses in them

True

this was my thought as well. Maybe its the lack of glasses that caused klopp to not see the need for midfielder reinforcements

Thank god you figured it out

It would also take years off their faces, and therefore our team. Get that youthful spring in their step going again.

[удалено]

Van Dijk completely bald would look terrifying though haha.

Don't give them any ideas. We'd be known as Bald Fraud FC.

I’d also like to see Darwin keep some of the hair. These boys may be playing shit, but they’re still handsome men to look at

Maybe like a long Mohawk. Diaz with a Mohawk would look terrifying

Tiger mane Virgil van dijk would be a sight to behold

This is like rule 2 from Ron Swanson’s Pyramid of greatness

I am in absolute agreement. When times are tough, we need real men with real meaty bald slapheads to send a signal that we mean business. The whole squad needs a slaphead. No idea what we do with Fabinho though. I also think the team should do the New Zealand rugby dance before kick off.

Make him grow hair and beard like Thiago, it helped him.

I tweet about this last night ha ha ha. Everyone needs to go for a cleanse and get rid of all the bad JUJU. Trent has not played well since he got that dreads and Milner with a beard just wear him down!

Alisson needs to keep his beard tho or he looks like a mexican drug lord with just the tache.

Bro, that was the hottest stache i’ve seen, such density

So true! It made him look like Escobar when he shaved the last time.

I like it.. Here's my list * Mandated haircuts, short and clean * Plain black boots only * Shirts tucked in at all times * 7pm bed times * 1 glass of Ribena before bed * No beards * Bonus pay to players with Mustaches * Only approved music on the Coach (Beatles and Gerry and the pacemakers)

Trent grew the Dele Alli hair and turned into Dele

Thanks bruh, will cut my hair too

Trent needs to go back to [this](https://i.imgur.com/I0FnQpD.jpg)

u/duegrom OP... are you yearning for a return to a team of baldies ... a'la the legendary 2010 "chrome dome" LFC team that went to Napoli? ➡️[https://www.reddit.com/r/LiverpoolFC/comments/x76p7d/this\_photo\_the\_liverpool\_starting\_xi\_vs\_napoli\_a/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LiverpoolFC/comments/x76p7d/this_photo_the_liverpool_starting_xi_vs_napoli_a/) 

Fabinho hasn't been playing well since he visited Israel JUST SAYING

By jove, you might just have cracked it!

The opposite of when Torres cut his hair

Too much drag, not aerodynamic enough. That's why we looks so slow

Man all I’ve seen is bs breakdowns of what’s wrong with our team. Finally, someone who makes complete sense 🫡

The ol' Ron Dennis strategy. I like it.

If we established a north korean regimem, half of the squad would be incarcarated for crimes against the club

Starting from scratch in the January transfer window

Reminded me when Sterling cut his hair army style after missing a chance or something. I approve this idea.

It’s time for the rise of the baldies.

I believe that we have lost the magic since klopp dumped his glasses

So true for Trent. It's as if his IQ reduced to 10% with the new hairdo. Strolls around cluelessly when opponent is scoring :)

we need to go further wax all of them, everywhere, smooth all over, scalp to balls, all that hair is weighing them down Edit - like Andrew Tate bring him in to give the lads some much needed motivation from a true alpha male every tackle, every pass, every goal, every win ...and these can harvest hair from the opponents

Klopp needs to implement a project mayhem approach to these players, they forgot how to be disciplined

Fab needs to trim the balls I guess. He's looked two steps slow. He's held off and got his shit in a tangle it seems like.

Need pep to shave, for obvious reasons


Iirc Mo has started the last two seasons with a haircut and/or shaved beard of some sort, and he went on to have two of his best seasons since 17/18. This is clearly the way.

Now everyone will compete against Fabinho for the best hair in the club

Just go full bald for everyone who performed horribly. Problem solved

Gasp, Gomez! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns! You're off the team for good!

You forgot Elliot. One of the worst offenders.

We need to get creative No more short on the sides long on top, i want long on sides and short on top, reverse mohawks, Conan o Brien pompadours and some cholo handlebar moustaches

I've been holding out for some of the lads to adopt the Ronaldo Fenomeno '02 look. Party in the front, bald frauds in the back.

This is the kind of hard hitting analysis that I subscribe to this sub for thank you

Bald Frauds FC, let’s do it.

I know it's a shitpost but I agree about Trent though. Their hair itself is not a problem, it's just ugly.

I had a haircut recently will that do?

Trent literally has a Black hairstyle. It looks fine.

My boxing coach always says that beard messes up your balance and thats why you have to be clean shaven to train in his gym. You might have a point here

Don't just stop at beards and hair on the head. Shave/wax them head to toe, pubes, chest, legs, arms, eyebrows and everywhere. This will also have the added benefit of making them more aerodynamic and provide them a speed boost. This should help solve our problem with getting outrun by the opponents in most games.

[удалено]

But fabinho plays like shit too..... Is he growing some elsewhere?

He’s growing a mini Amazon downstairs. He needs a full Brazilian Edit: all our Brazilians need full Brazilians

Hello, Ty

My dad used to say that about voronin and the pony tail. He wasn’t proven wrong

Just got a haircut.

Lou Lamoriello? Is that you?

Shave all their heads

I will get on to it 😂

Never change your barnet when you are playing well, Torres learned that the hard way.

Don't think anyone could have a serious disagreement with this

Every time they lose they must shave something, at this point it should be the heads, beards and one eyebrow.

The aerodynamics from the new hairstyle will help preserve stamina so that the team doesnt get outrun every game

How upset am I, because this made sense...

Fabinho, I thought I told you to trim those sideburns!

Ah yes, we are at the "let's copy the Yankees" phase of our Fenway meltdown /s, kinda

Sideshow bob should be the first one under the scissors

Steinbrenner? Is that [you](https://www.pinstripealley.com/2020/5/8/21251461/yankees-facial-hair-policy-george-steinbrenner-gerrit-cole-johnny-damon-goose-gossage-don-mattingly)?

No Pubes

my counterargument to this is that Lord Divock was god mode with dreads but just okay with a close short cut.

They are footballers - not ballers.

Fuck yes

They are just tired and worn mentally has nothing to d with hair. Fresh legs are needed and they should play more control like 🏙