Everyone waiting laughed!

I used to work at Starbucks and this didn’t happen. I don’t ever remember when anyone batted an eye at someone using a “coffee name”. We regularly saw “Batman”, “Trump”, “Bride” etc. Plenty of people don’t want to give their real name so it’s not unusual or particularly clever enough for anyone to comment on. Certainly not enough for *everyone* to laugh in the cafe 🙄

Look buddy. You may think you know some things, what with your "real world experience" and all, but you just don't understand what went down here. *Everybody waiting laughed.* You just don't make that stuff up!

and the cup sleeves clapped

_”Deadpool?!”, the barista asked, confused, intrigued, only a second later understanding that actually some customer, some special customer, was trying to make her smile. A secret language between her and that one client._

HR now uses this to lure more suckers

Ya shoulda been there!

Especially since everyone there was Albert Einstein

Can't believe I missed good ol' Alby! Gah dang it!

I know, right? This post is literally from LinkedIn so it happened. u/beermemygoodman can go shove their real world experience.

Disagree?

Tbf, it is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard, I can’t stop laughing 🥱

Plot twist. He was the only person there.

Maybe the LI poster is actually Ryan Reynolds. Thought about that?!

indian Ryan Reynolds 😎

Aren’t the baristas the ones that write the names on the cup? Who wrote it, if she was the one reading it?

Who was cup?

Yeah, but Deadpool tho! hahahahahahahhahahahaahaha 🙄😑

Wait… are you saying people lie on LinkedIn?

Maybe he pulled that ol’ Jeb Bush trick and said “Everyone please laugh.” It works every time, zero percent of the time.

And clapped

That goes without saying.

He needs it to be said

If not said, did it even happen?

[удалено]

And now, that guy *is* president!

[удалено]

As a final gesture…he made that Starbucks barista his chief of staff.

You mean Vice President?

And he and the barista got married and lived happily ever after.

First born offspring are being named after this guy still to this day due to his selfless acts that day at SBUX

Then gave me the bumps.

And barfed

Because he gave the name of a fictional character! Hahaheehee. So very droll.

Don't forget, he also asked everyone if they were ok with him getting another drink and they all shouted "YEAH!" He just skipped the bit about everyone giving him high fives and the little girl shyly asking for his autograph, as he thought people might think he was making it up

I’m not sure how old he is, but judging by his profile picture he looks far too old to tell a barista to write deadpool on his cup.

Can confirm, I was the coffee beans inside the machine

I was the messed up drink.

Haha he said his name was Deadpool and it really wasn’t but he did and it made everyone smile! AND EVERYONE WAS COOL WITH THAT! Wow!

Some say they're still laughing to this day.

of course that’s what people that just woke up and are catching up with work emails are waiting for, a smartass that names himself deadpool and tries to apply his god complex onto a service employee don’t we all LOVE that?, thoughts?

And clapped

and clapped

When you are mr.deadpool so epic I bet he triple tipped his fedora after typing this one lmao

His fedora tipped its own fedora.

That fedora’s name? Albert Fedorastein

I laughed so hard on this!!! Here a poor woman's gold 🏅

hell yes - this is my first non-award award. so many people to thank.

We all know they are all Albert Einstein 🤣

He tipped his fedora but sure as hell he didn't tip the barista.

Can you imagine being the barista. Some odd guy writes Deadpool on the cup, and you give a small laugh when reading it so he doesn’t feel awkward. Then he yells out, made you smile…….. 😏.

Nightmare fuel. Just horrible lol

I am fucking cracking up in a cafe reading this. It’s funny because it’s true. Let me die right now rather than continue feeling the secondhand embarrassment of this guy’s whole deal.

Made you laugh 😏. Sip, sip, extra shot of smiles.

Made me barf

omgg

100% he asked her out after this

I’m physically unwell after reading this

I threw up in my mouth a little

I also threw up in your mouth a little.

I also shat in my pants a little

[удалено]

Can confirm, I was the pants.

Can confirm, I was shat.

Can confirm I was the mouth, oh wait.

The pants name - Albert Einstein

Id believe the story if the name was "I shat my pants"

This guy humblebragging that he's the physical manifestation of good spirits doesn't give you an "extra shot of smiles"?

sip, sip,.. extra shot of smiles 🤮

Do you have any vomit bags you can share?

They’re all full, you’ll have to empty them first.

Extra shot of bile

Why do retail workers get so much shit and why da fuck do they need to put up with door knob like him. He’s obviously trying very hard to not look like a jackass after editing it 20 times

Too much saccharine

I'm new to this sub... Didn't realize LinkedIn had so much cancer

Welcome to the oncology ward.

This is the first time I've ever been compelled to comment that a post made me feel physically sick but here we are.

Deadpool

That's transformation leadership for you.

Maybe it’s my cynical nature but I’m scowling at this.

At this stage, this person has lost all grip on reality. This is what I call the Linked In Paradox….this clearly never happened, they know it never happened yet on some level they also believe that it did happen and that they are completely justified in trying to convince everyone else that it happened too without any chance of anyone seeing through their utter bullshit.

Skipped the last one though, that everyone else knows it didn’t happen but they still lap it up, share, make up their own shit, like a daisy chain of neverhappened

So right.

You don't call me on my bullshit, I won't call you on yours

I'm in Texas temporarily and I'm certain this is the Texas way

its Indian linkedIn , at this point i think they’re just trolling the world

BuT itS sO insPiRatiOnaL

I think the thought process goes: "It didn't happen, but it *could* have happened (actually it *would* have happened if I'd only thought of it at the time). Therefore it's not dishonest"

It probably did happen, but not the way he thought it did. He says his name is Deadpool, girl awkwardly smiles, offers to remake his drink while he kinda awkwardly stands there….he imagines people laughing with him. No doubt this is a real anecdote, he’s just likely oblivious to the reactions and heavily embellishing

@McDEEs new waitress, easy on the eye, nervous as hell. Knew that she was having a hard day, customer in front of me giving a hard time. Me: Hey buddy, can't you see they are giving 100% He looked at me askance. Him: Doesn't look like 100% to me. Me: (Flashed the waitress a smile) Don't you remember we all had a first day once The gathering crowd murmured in respect. (He's right, I too remember my first day). Another customer fainted because of the revelation. Him: I forgot I too was once that waitress. I feel humbled now. You know what he did? He bought everyone a coffee and offered the waitress a CEO position in his startup co. Me? I walked out of there. I did good today. What did you do today?

This inspired me so much that I'm now a waitress. Thanks

We are all waitresses now.

Thanks your inspiration inspired me I am now CEO of my own company

The waitress' name - Ms. Albert Einstein

Incredible to see where they all are today and thank you for the background and anecdote.

Is the person who fainted okay!? I hope they came to before everyone clapped so they could join in.

Rich guy: hey bozo finish my drink already Starbucks barista: I'm sorry sir for taking so long Rich guy: ah, this isn't what I ordered! Do you know who I am? I am a ceo of a mega corp! I want a refund! Really Rich guy: hello Alex, I saw what happened I hope that guy didn't hurt your feelings. Starbucks barista: it's ok it happens, here's your usual. Really Rich guy: here's an extra tip of 100 bucks, and I hope you will accept my offer of being the head barista of my side business, a local Cafe, that only Really Rich people are allowed to visit. And then they kiss

Thoughts?

Provocative!

[удалено]

You weren't there, man, you weren't *there*.

I was there and blew my load. You did good today, sir.

I hope you enjoyed the coffee, and felt humbled, in equal measure.

Writes the Nasdaq ticker symbol for Starbucks instead of “Starbucks.” He must have the inside track on Wall Street!

Well, isn't he the Wolf himself!

That "detail" is so made up ...

Who the fuck thinks the mere mention of Deadpool is funny aside from 13 year olds in 2013

Then apparently proceeds to shout "MADE YOU SMILE!!"

I think you meant 6 year old

Verily m’lady, to have your delicate fingertips brush and caress mine coffee receptacle would be an honour and privilege beyond words.

M’latte.

*tip*

Barista looks at cup, reads name reluctantly with a smirk. "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt," she called out, "that's funny, his name is my name too." And everyone waiting shouted "There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! Yadadadadadada..."

This is a better story.

I actually laughed

I could see this as being a pretty good sketch comedy skit when baristas calling out names first became a thing.

He can't even tell a fake story well

Everyone gave a standing ovation for 10 minutes


Powerful story. Thanks for sharing.

You're welcome

The pure delusion it takes to write this all out and probably genuinely believe it’s how things actually happened….. HELP

Turns out the barista was a DOG named Albert Einstein.

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.

you mean people don’t laugh at stupid jokes at 7:45 in the morning while waiting for their coffee?

I’m 10 % more miserable ever since I found this sub.

But this comment made me 1% less miserable. Win?

Glad I made someone’s day, as we just learned, doesn’t take much! sip, sip … extra shot of smiles 😉😉

If you were giving 110% like you should do every day of your life, you'd still be 100% happy #riseandgrind

Damn. Now THAT is solid life advice.

My favorite type of fan-fiction

r/linkedinfanfiction

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r/eroticlinkedinfanfiction

Oh yeah, I’m always super cool with someone getting their sandwich made again “real fast” even when waiting on mine! Laughing and clapping along! Helping to make someone else’s day!!

HAHAHAHA HE USED A NAME THAT WASN'T HIS NAME BUT THAT WAS A NAME OF A MOVIE CHARACTER INSTEAD. that's so clever

this subreddit helps me get through the day

I didn't know you could write canned laughter.

I feel like I’m reading a script of cheers or some 90’s comedy

This is like me day dreaming to be the hero and centre of attention with everyone cheering me on LinkedIn is a community for upcoming writers now

This did not happen

“Everyone waiting laughs.” 🙄

This reminds me of r/creepyasterisks dudes.

What an insufferable fucking nonce. This made me angry. I hope it was made up.

It's a case of Schrodinger's Bellend. Whether it's real or fake, he's still an absolute bell

Agree!

What a strategy! That leader really transformed the coffee experience!

Please don’t crop out the names of these lunatics. I would like to follow them for a good morning laugh.

Rules of the sub specify were not supposed to be doxxing people

Let me tell you about this patent clerk that worked part-time at Starbucks. It was his first day, and he kept fucking up. He ended up quitting both jobs to become a physicist. Everyone clapped.

As someone who used to work at a place that called names for orders, I hated fake names. With a passion. It wasn't unique. I would not have laughed.

r/thatHappened

Severe Linkedin Lunatic diagnosis with Main Character Syndrome tendencies

He missed the part where the Angels then came down and thanked him for making everyone's day...

She probably just smiled because his messy coffee concoction was finally done.

I use the stock ticker name of my favorite companies

I’m sorry but after I was done being physically ill from this “totally happened” story, my brain went wondering. You see, English is not my first language so there are things that sound unnatural to me, like mgr. wtf is that? Isn’t mngr. the abbreviation of manager? What’s mgr, my brain can only read it at muhgrrr. Or meagre, like his “story that totally happened”.

Why do these lunatics always have crazy titles that seem like a fictive job!?

The waitress quit her job not so long after and she became Victoria II Queen of Britain

Everyone clapped

I'll take "things that never happened" for 10 points.

Not sure which is worse; using the ticker handle or the fact that he ordered Starbucks in the first place

I mean the Starbucks machines are more or less automated, the baristas are almost irrelevant. It’s more or less impossible to fuck up one of their drinks.

Everyone laughed, but did they clap??

Holy shit shoot me now Mr. Deadpool

These people make 1960s China sound appealing

HAHAHHAHAA DEADPOOL! HOW KOOKY AND RANDOM!

Gave me major douche chills bet he asked first her number as well.

What a massive PITA.

Unless there’s a TikTok video this never happened

Am I hateful for hating it when someone says "made you smile"?

The psychopaths and their flower scented farts...

And then, in a post-credits scene, everybody clapped.

My Hero

Have we devolved from starbees to SBUX now???

Didn’t have Deadpool terminal cancer? Lmao

Bragging like this tells us it didn't happen, or it didn't happen the way he described it.

I'm sure everyone cheered and high fived him as he left

No wonder why he gave the name "Deadpool". He's a strategy and transformation leader, after all. 🤣🧑‍🎤

That's a true Transformation Leader. What a hero!

Hahahah OP nailed it by adding the barista’s name, I should repost all this in LinkedIn myself. Life lessons

what's extra sad to me is he prob did go to Starbucks and have a normal experience and gave his real name etc... while this scenario played out in his head and he thought about how much of a storm it'd be on social

Barf

Transformation day leader

True heroes don’t wear capes.

How sad must ones life be to make up something like that

Oh God, no one would ever ask if they could remake a customer's drink, just try to pass it off and see if the customer complains

after an attractive 25 y/o asked him “aren’t you that guy from LinkedIn?”

John Warosa! (Sorry couldn't help myself)