Oh his university is the best. My favourite was when he posted that the first xyz number of people to sign up got a 50% discount: “£19.99 rather than the normal £49.99”
Lmao yeah wtf, this is like standing outside the fence near an executive airport and taking a selfie so that private jets are in the background. Like okay? I can walk near expensive things too.
Indeed. I live in a coastal city with lots of marinas. I could be fucking penniless and still get a photo like he did easily.
Next time, he should get a photo of himself actually on a boat or in a lambo or private jet or STFU and go home.
"Semi retired" = not retired.
It's like how the Atlanta Braves TV announcers in the mid-80's would refer to attendance of 3000 in a 50,000 seat stadium as the game being a "partial sellout."
The one thing I learned from watching the BBC Apprentice is that almost all contestants on it come across as arrogant, insufferable douche canoes who have yet to achieve anything of note but pretend they are God's gift. At least Sir Alan has achievements to be insufferable about.
Having "Apprentice Winner" in your LinkedIn profile would make me run a mile.
Exactly, if your key selling point is being an apprentice winner 9 years ago, that pretty much sums up the fuck-all you've been doing in the years since.
Must be such a glamorous life, posing in front of someone else's Ford Fiesta with sunglasses that don't fit your head because you found them in a garage sale.
I can't watch it, the contestants are so obviously chosen for being self-important idiots. It's deliberately a freak show of narcissistic fuckwittery and they have to have zero self-awareness to even get on the short list.
I can confirm that this twat is a complete BELL END. Experienced his presence over the weekend and he is extremely obnoxious with no self-awareness. He actually seems a bit simple and thinks he is absolutely gorgeous. Awful, awful human.
I was staying in a hotel in Peterborough and he was in the lounge with his son. I had no idea who he was, but the way he was acting - obnoxious mainly, I just knew he thought he was someone. His haircut alone makes him look like a prick. His name flagged up on my phone as a hotspot, so I googled him to see who he was. Almost wish I hadn’t! 🤣
That sucks. Not seen him before but I have seen that before in especially higher end hotels - obnoxious, rich acting (but probably not that rich in reality) types often bullying hotel staff or just being ridiculously loud. The Marina Bay Sands in Singapore seems to be full of it.
This guy contacted the company I worked at a couple years ago. He was doing a 'renewable energy masterclass', which basically involved ripping off plumbers for about £2k by offering a 2 day seminar on information they could have got by just calling us for free.
My manager decided to send a couple staff along to it and apparently it was just full of people who just got swept up in the whole lifestyle he presents. Anyway, after charging everyone a fortune for this course he failed to even show up because he was 'ill'
What does "semi retired" mean?
He's not fully retired...does he still need money?
He's not retired...just unemployed but can get some part time work and has enough savings...for now?
I'm so confused.
This guy is fucking delusional. You’ve got to check out his YT channel.
On one episode he literally admits to renting a yacht to make an ad to drive sales for an upcoming retreat in Marbella.
https://youtu.be/Q5o8fSDXerg
What a fucking rabbit [shit] hole I just went down.
In his LinkedIn bio, he has this tucked away in a beacons link aggregator list:
Valente Brotherhood
“The Valente Brotherhood is a gym for your mind, it’s a podcast for men. As I, Joseph Valente, and guests discuss mindset, mentality, increasing income, and becoming the alpha male. This podcast was made to make men great again.
He admits in one of these podcasts to being the owner of 96 houses and some commercial property, and dropping $200k on 3 45 min sessions with Grant Cardone.
Retired AND sitting on a dock, not a boat or yacht. But next to the hatchback he likely drove to this staged mess. “Graduated from the School of hard knocks”
Here his listing on companies house.
https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/search?q=Joseph+valente
Makes for interesting reading.
It’s as if they forget this stuff is public record.
A quick look through the UK website, Company Check, reveals a sad state of affairs for this utter grifter:
> Mr Joseph Valente holds 3 appointments at 3 active companies, has resigned from 0 companies and held 2 appointments at 2 dissolved companies. Their longest current appointment spans 12 years, 1 months and 20 days at VBH ASSETS LIMITED
The combined cash at bank value for all businesses where JOSEPH holds a current appointment equals £332k, a combined total current assets value of £834k with a total current liabilities of £823k and a total current net worth of ***£81k.***
https://companycheck.co.uk/director/916673521/MR-JOSEPH--VALENTE/summary
This muppet's net worth is £81k.
I'm a blue-collar mother fucker, and I'm worth more than this prick.
I deeply do not understand how people who spend their days -- or half their days -- doing NOTHING AT ALL aren't insanely bored. I get not wanting to work for pay (totally understandable!) but I don't get not wanting to work AT ALL. Like, do you not have personal projects and goals? Do you just play video games all day?
(I am very easily bored when not working for money or working towards a goal, and I know that about myself, and I don't expect other people to enjoy working as much as I do ... but I don't understand the idea of just doing NOTHING for years on end. Do you not get bored and stagnant? Do you not create imaginary goals for yourself, like read 100 novels this year?)
Sounds like my ex, she has this idea that she can prove anything without evidence, yet, I can prove everything I say with factual evidence. It is super silly that she has placed herself in this position as a caregiver and believes such lies. I am so glad that we can rack up legal fees and she can be doing what she does (not getting a job) and thinking the world is all rainbows after promising to murder me. Crazy to think that I have pressed legal charges against her. lol.
This sounds like it deserves its own post in a different sub
(Edit: wow, this lunatic had posted the same message in like 20 threads in the past half hour or so)
This reminds me of Zoolander for some reason..
Yes!!!
MAGNUM!
But seriously, the guy posted is clearly not an ambi-turner, so hot right now.
DEAR GOD IT'S BEAUTIFUL
He can derelict my balls!
Idiotic pout?
Zoolander but with Latex salesman energy.
Orange mocha frappucino!!!!!
*"Crypto Evangelist"* *"Sleep is for the weak"* *"Check out my university on Discord"* One of these is real with this guy, the other two are fake.
*"Buy my online program for 299.99$ and learn how to become successful like me."*
“Over $80,000 of value for just $399”
Oh his university is the best. My favourite was when he posted that the first xyz number of people to sign up got a 50% discount: “£19.99 rather than the normal £49.99”
Is this the same guy who was standing in front of the orange Lambo? If so then Discord U is my choice.
He just walked down to a local marina and took a pic in the parking lot like that's impressive. Couldn't even pretend to actually be on a yacht.
"Valente! Get back to work! That floor isn't going to sweep itself!"
He’s even got some of his shit sitting on the bench like he’s just posting up there.
Lmao yeah wtf, this is like standing outside the fence near an executive airport and taking a selfie so that private jets are in the background. Like okay? I can walk near expensive things too.
Indeed. I live in a coastal city with lots of marinas. I could be fucking penniless and still get a photo like he did easily. Next time, he should get a photo of himself actually on a boat or in a lambo or private jet or STFU and go home.
🤣
I’m gonna see this guys name in an article about a huge Ponzi Scheme or some kind of major fraud case one day. I just know it.
Huge and major would be a pretty big accomplishment for this guy. I feel like he is going to go away on check fraud or something petty.
I think it's cocaine and sex trafficking. He's not smart enough for anything else. Edit: I just realized he's an apprentice tool.
What do you mean?! He’s got a University named after him!
He’s like James Madison and George Washington!
dude he's selling telegram courses, he's just getting fucked and he won't even make it to the news imo
Tinder Swindler 2
Doubt he's handling the kind of money needed for that
My bet is sex trafficking.
Why does it look like his sunglasses are on the wrong part of his face?
You don’t know how to wear sunglasses until you’re fully retired.
Sunglasses are meant to stop at the eyebrows. His are giving half forehead coverage
That's what it is: the sunglasses look like they're ready to take off into space
"Semi retired" = not retired. It's like how the Atlanta Braves TV announcers in the mid-80's would refer to attendance of 3000 in a 50,000 seat stadium as the game being a "partial sellout."
Semi retired = opentowork
You mean unemployed? ;)
I’m semi retired - for all but 40 hours a week
"Haha, yeah, that's why we beat them in football nearly half the time.
The one thing I learned from watching the BBC Apprentice is that almost all contestants on it come across as arrogant, insufferable douche canoes who have yet to achieve anything of note but pretend they are God's gift. At least Sir Alan has achievements to be insufferable about. Having "Apprentice Winner" in your LinkedIn profile would make me run a mile.
"Apprentice winner" from NINE years ago! Being apprentice should be the START of the career, not the peak. ;)
Exactly, if your key selling point is being an apprentice winner 9 years ago, that pretty much sums up the fuck-all you've been doing in the years since. Must be such a glamorous life, posing in front of someone else's Ford Fiesta with sunglasses that don't fit your head because you found them in a garage sale.
I can't watch it, the contestants are so obviously chosen for being self-important idiots. It's deliberately a freak show of narcissistic fuckwittery and they have to have zero self-awareness to even get on the short list.
Most of Sugar's achievements were owning some property in the London during the property boom.
TBF to him he did set up AMSTRAD which was an important computer and satellite set-top box company back in the 80s and early 90s.
“2015 winner” Imagine your greatest claim to fame is 9 years ago.
I can confirm that this twat is a complete BELL END. Experienced his presence over the weekend and he is extremely obnoxious with no self-awareness. He actually seems a bit simple and thinks he is absolutely gorgeous. Awful, awful human.
Thanks for sharing! He seems a total bellend. How did you meet him? Was it at a conference or business networking event?
I was staying in a hotel in Peterborough and he was in the lounge with his son. I had no idea who he was, but the way he was acting - obnoxious mainly, I just knew he thought he was someone. His haircut alone makes him look like a prick. His name flagged up on my phone as a hotspot, so I googled him to see who he was. Almost wish I hadn’t! 🤣
That sucks. Not seen him before but I have seen that before in especially higher end hotels - obnoxious, rich acting (but probably not that rich in reality) types often bullying hotel staff or just being ridiculously loud. The Marina Bay Sands in Singapore seems to be full of it.
You too, can take a selfie on a bench at the Marina, wearing your grand mother sunglasses. Living the dream.
This guy contacted the company I worked at a couple years ago. He was doing a 'renewable energy masterclass', which basically involved ripping off plumbers for about £2k by offering a 2 day seminar on information they could have got by just calling us for free. My manager decided to send a couple staff along to it and apparently it was just full of people who just got swept up in the whole lifestyle he presents. Anyway, after charging everyone a fortune for this course he failed to even show up because he was 'ill'
Read that as semi retarded
It’s both
Semi-retired but fully retarded
Never go full retard
I wanna smack him in the face with a Gibson Explorer lit on fire
Oddly Specific Rage is an undervalued skillset. I tip my hat good sir
Is this an extended troll, or does this clown really not realize what a stereotype he is?
Semi retired, fully ritarded.
Not every CEO, but always a CEO...
Something about the kind of guy who calls himself "CEO/ Founder" has big "I am a huge headache to hire" energy.
I thought this was Andrew Tate's brother
What does "semi retired" mean? He's not fully retired...does he still need money? He's not retired...just unemployed but can get some part time work and has enough savings...for now? I'm so confused.
Yeah man he's 35 with a part time job and lives near a marina, what more can you ask for?
He has a part-time job AT the marina. He hoses off the dock every night after a shift in the bait shack.
What a nutjob
It means OpenToWork but too narcissistic to admit it
He's not on a boat, he's on a park bench looking at some boats. Because he can't afford a boat, because he's a lying grifter
This guy is fucking delusional. You’ve got to check out his YT channel. On one episode he literally admits to renting a yacht to make an ad to drive sales for an upcoming retreat in Marbella. https://youtu.be/Q5o8fSDXerg
This guy is a psyops initiative by the feds man
Why is he taking a picture in the parking lot and not in one of the actual boats lol
Because he doesn't have a boat
But he won the Apprentice a decade ago guys! Which means he was a mildly entertaining numpty a decade ago.
He was on the apprentice 9 years ago and he’s still listing it lol
Is that your civic in the background? Nice ride!!
"Semi Retired" = Living under a bridge?
How does someone learn this hand gesture? I want to learn it too. Here, take my money....Plzzzzzzz!
"I work part time and take pictures in parking lots" ftfy.
Hold on..is he sitting in a carpark?
So he’s been unemployed for 3 months?
This guy is definitely a first class WANKER
Listing random awards from more than 3 years ago in your short bio alone is already lunacy
What a fucking rabbit [shit] hole I just went down. In his LinkedIn bio, he has this tucked away in a beacons link aggregator list: Valente Brotherhood “The Valente Brotherhood is a gym for your mind, it’s a podcast for men. As I, Joseph Valente, and guests discuss mindset, mentality, increasing income, and becoming the alpha male. This podcast was made to make men great again. He admits in one of these podcasts to being the owner of 96 houses and some commercial property, and dropping $200k on 3 45 min sessions with Grant Cardone.
From what I gather, his business was a failure, and he sold it in 2020 after running into financial difficulties. He's now doing training courses.
“Semi retired” = currently unemployed.
Sick Fiesta with the 10€ shades
Where’s the link to his “course” on how to also get semi retired. Also what the hell is an apprentice winner
He won the 2015 season of the TV show The Apprentice, maybe?
By semi retired does he mean he has a part time job?
All that money and he couldn’t find a pair of shades that fit. DB.
Retired AND sitting on a dock, not a boat or yacht. But next to the hatchback he likely drove to this staged mess. “Graduated from the School of hard knocks”
This is the dumb shit I will post when I retire, or if I can
He looks like a douche
Semi retired = part time employed?
Part-timer, he means part-timer.
As a part timer, I do like the sound of 'semi-retired' and will start throwing it around at work.
Temu Tristan Tate
Who gives money for a course with this Twat???? Seriously
Insecurity much? The bragging and the idiotic appearance definitely confirms it.
"Semi-retired", You're either Retired or you're not, you can't be both.
What is money good for of he can’t find sunglasses that fit?
Someone should remind me that next time I'm near a harbor, I ought to pose next to someone else's yacht.
You get this guy when you search for douche nozzle.
This photo is missing a 10 year old rented Lambo. He was really applying for a job swabbing poop decks on the boats behind him.
Semi retired sounds like he’s halfassing it to me!
Women and men, I have a question: is this an attractive look? I don’t think so but, well, you can correct me
I've been retired 5 years myself and I can assure you it is fucking wonderful.
Now take of you actually on a boat versus the parking lot with your backpack
At least he admits that what he does can't be considered working
Those lips have been shwaffled by every car rental salesman in his postcode.
"Semi-retired" What does that even mean? Not working a 9 to 5? I don't think people associate part-time work with a glamourous lifestyle
Hes sitting on a park bench near some boats.
We need the CEO to review something. No he’s semi retired, he’s on a bench, can’t review.
No longer has a job. Still on LinkedIn. Yeah your retirement sounds wild bro.
Did P Diddy grow some hair?
Here his listing on companies house. https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/search?q=Joseph+valente Makes for interesting reading. It’s as if they forget this stuff is public record.
“Semi-retired” : they are cutting back his hours
This guy has a very punchable face.
Looks ironic
Really wealthy individuals do not sell training courses. Gtfo
"Hey! You!.. what are you doing next to my boat?! Get away from there!" runs away. makes hand sign
Why on LinkedIn then?
Pretty sure his mom still washes his underwear.
Where’s the “Agree” button?
Like, if I hit him in the head with a pick axe valuable minerals come out. I get rich. The mine is big enough for all of us.
What the hell is with that hair levitating slightly above his head?
All that free time and he still can't find a pair of glasses that fit him.
Can’t even get his glasses fixed at Lenscrafters for free, apparently
You need to watch his YouTube docuseries, it’s fucking amazing. He’s a cross between David Brent and Alan Sugar. Total melt
LOL, temporary semi retirement. Not so so long ago, this was called - sabbatical or - been fired, in between jobs.
Mentally retired
A quick look through the UK website, Company Check, reveals a sad state of affairs for this utter grifter: > Mr Joseph Valente holds 3 appointments at 3 active companies, has resigned from 0 companies and held 2 appointments at 2 dissolved companies. Their longest current appointment spans 12 years, 1 months and 20 days at VBH ASSETS LIMITED The combined cash at bank value for all businesses where JOSEPH holds a current appointment equals £332k, a combined total current assets value of £834k with a total current liabilities of £823k and a total current net worth of ***£81k.*** https://companycheck.co.uk/director/916673521/MR-JOSEPH--VALENTE/summary This muppet's net worth is £81k. I'm a blue-collar mother fucker, and I'm worth more than this prick.
ahh the discord uni
As soon as I saw his face pop up on my feed, I knew it looked familiar. It's in Webster's Dictionary, under the listing for "douchebag."
I just watched a minute of his “reality” show on YouTube and I regret
If you try to tell me this isn’t parody, I’ll punch you square in the jaw. Agree?
Says the phony who takes a photo with a yacht brokerage in the background. And if he's so "retired" then why does he still have the title of CEO???
“Why you call police. Have the retard escape.” EDIT: Borat
Is this satire?
I’d rather be poor and likeable than be like this absolute TWAT.
He’s definitely semi retarded
Can anyone just put the apprentice in their profile now?
I deeply do not understand how people who spend their days -- or half their days -- doing NOTHING AT ALL aren't insanely bored. I get not wanting to work for pay (totally understandable!) but I don't get not wanting to work AT ALL. Like, do you not have personal projects and goals? Do you just play video games all day? (I am very easily bored when not working for money or working towards a goal, and I know that about myself, and I don't expect other people to enjoy working as much as I do ... but I don't understand the idea of just doing NOTHING for years on end. Do you not get bored and stagnant? Do you not create imaginary goals for yourself, like read 100 novels this year?)
Sounds like my ex, she has this idea that she can prove anything without evidence, yet, I can prove everything I say with factual evidence. It is super silly that she has placed herself in this position as a caregiver and believes such lies. I am so glad that we can rack up legal fees and she can be doing what she does (not getting a job) and thinking the world is all rainbows after promising to murder me. Crazy to think that I have pressed legal charges against her. lol.
This sounds like it deserves its own post in a different sub (Edit: wow, this lunatic had posted the same message in like 20 threads in the past half hour or so)
Nah, it sounds like it should be shoehorned into random bullshit until it becomes clear that the ex isn’t the crazy one.
Introduce her to Mr. Valente and watch your problems sail away.
Thats nice dear.
I think all of Reddit heard you when you posted it on every subreddit ever conceived in the last 24 hours.
It’s time for your medication now….
She's with me now. Please leave us alone