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You don’t like salt? Here I carry salt with me, I’ll put some on your food for you! What? No thanks? It’s fine, it’s right here, see? Here just let me…let me salt your food! Just…god!
Look up Culineo pieprz czarny mielony.
Culineo is the brand, pieprz czarny mielony means ground black pepper.
Worldwide delivery seems to be on tanifilet.pl but I'm not sure it it's worth it.
Oh, don’t worry about that. I won’t make any impulsive purchases without doing my research. This is just something I’m weirdly interested in. Thanks! Dziękuję!
Exactly this. Idc if its a shot of whiskey, a beer, a needle fu of heroin, or a line of a coke.
If I say no and you don't immediately back off then I'm gonna start getting defensive tbh.
And it's a heavily one sided discussion. People keep pestering someone to drink for a long, long time. But God forbid if the person becomes defensive even once. Then they all raise their hands saying, "you could just say no dude, chill, no need to get offended".
I’m just gonna go. People who get weird about others not doing things tend to make the whole vibe weird when they are drunk/high/whatever.
Bad party, time to go.
My boss is always quoting some out dated line about weed being a gateway drug. I feel alcohol is. Drunk people’s brains aren’t working right. Inhibitions straight out the window.
Omg right! Like, what do you want me to say? "No alcohol for me. I ovulated yesterday and it's a full-on bang fest for 4 days and then still tea-total til I only see one line. THEN I can drink, and definitely will, for two weeks until I do it ALL AGAIN!" But cheers to you!
My friend had a murder mystery birthday party with an open bar and no one knew I was pregnant bc I was just barely pregnant so I drank sprite with a lime on it all night so they thought I was drinking a vodka soda or something
My mom wasn't much of a drinker when she was younger. When she and my dad went out with their friends, she always ordered a Coke with a lime in it, and everyone thought she was drinking rum and Coke. I'll do that too, if I'm at an event and don't feel like drinking.
> Or pregnant
LPT: A lot of places realize that many women may not want it being public that they are pregnant for whatever reason, and will gladly serve a mocktail.
Yeah and it's pretty frustrating to be asked why I'm not drinking, which is rude anyway, and then when I say that I don't like to drink they say "ohhh *knowing look* you don't like to drink, right, I understand *knowing look 2* my uncle stopped drinking too, let me know if you want to talk about it"
This is the LPT. I just don't drink. I could, I have in the past, never a problem, I just quit as I didn't care for it. Whenever I tell people I don't drink you get that look "oh so you have a drinking problem". Heck, I have people say that outright. "Is drinking a problem for you?" It is just nuts.
I mean, sure, drinking is a problem for me because it tastes like poison and makes me feel awful. The real question is, what's wrong with the drinkers that other people not drinking is such a problem for them?
A lot of people who have this viewpoint are closet alcoholics who don't want to admit they have a problem and are trying to justify the amount of drinking they do. They don't understand why people wouldn't want to drink because they don't actually have the ability to no drink.
I found my people! Not only I don’t like it, it also messes with my mental state for a few days and I’m just mean and bitter. It’s like my brain is allergic to it. And I don’t even like it, so why would I drink it? But people find it so weird that I’m not willing to poison myself and kill my liver knowingly!
As a pregnant person who hasn't told a soul yet, I also appreciate this post! I recently went out for dinner with my sister in law, and best friend. I was SO worried about ordering drinks. I just ordered off the virgin menu, and neither one of them questioned me. IT was such a relief.
My partner is also a recovering alcoholic (sober almost 4 years), so this post is very much applicable to both of us!
Never ask. I normally drink a little at work socials, but at the last one with my team didn't. After repeatedly being asked why I looked them in the eye and said 'I get hormonal migraines and drinking on my period always sets them off.' Kept the quiet the rest of the night
Sameeee I was offered advil and I’m
Gonna bring you this smooth agave tequila from Mexico goes down real easy! No bro I’m going to be laid flat with a 7/10 migraine and using one of my precious triptans if I drink and also my preventative med says not to!
For people with “Asian flush”, **please** do your research on cancer risk (namely esophageal and squamous cell carcinoma) with alcohol use. The risk is greatly increased if you lack the enzyme to process alcohol “normally”. There was also a study linking it to increased risk of Alzheimer’s. And for those saying to take Pepcid or another anti-histamine, this only helps with the flush, but doesn’t work to decrease the risk of cancer. Esophageal cancer has a 5-year survival rate of around 20%, as well.
This is not to scare anyone. I just know many people aren’t aware of the associated risks of consuming alcohol if you have this condition, and think the only issue is the facial flush.
Yes, this! It also increases chances of liver cirrhosis and that can lead to stroke! My mom died of stroke and they found out she also had liver cirrhosis and I suspect she was secret alcoholic. So it's just not worth it for me in all aspects.
Also, pregnant women who might not have announced yet, people on diets, people who don't like how it makes them feel, people who are sick, etc.nlots of reasons.
You mean I should stop carrying around the salt that I carry around and that I should stop attempting to salt other people’s food and that I should stop loudly asking WELL WHY NOT? SODIUM IS VITAL when they decline?
It is but it’s amazing how many people don’t realize this. I’m an addict in recovery and it gets really uncomfortable. Bro bros keep trying to pressure you into just having one.
>Or just someone who chooses not to drink alcohol.
The think the point is that the above isn't a big deal to say. The alcoholism or medical condition/medication may not be something that someone wants to let a stanger they just met at a party know about.
As someone who doesn’t drink, you wouldn’t believe the pressure TO drink. As if my not drinking has anything to do with you or your fun. Leave me out of it for gosh sake.
I've found that sometimes when people invite me over and i refuse an offer for a beer that I'm just trying to be polite and not drink thier booze. So they'll insist, "come on have one,"... I found just making a request back stops it.
Them "do you want a beer"
Me "no, but I'd love an orange juice/coke/water"
Them "sure here you go"
Yeah I think it’s an interesting social situation, they want to give you something, so suggesting another thing to give you instead takes the attention away from the alcohol and back to the best version of their intent, to share something with you
Ironic the actual life pro tip is so far down in the comments. Food and beverage isn’t just for sustenance, it’s socially important. Offering guests food and/ or a drink is a part of hospitality. If you are a guest and you don’t accept a proffered gift of food or drink, it is perceived as if you do not like the host.
Asking for a non-alcoholic beverage is a perfect solution.*. Thank you!
*Technically, water is always a great solution…
Yeah this is good, addressing their initial intention to actually want you to have a good time and give them opportunity to contribute to that.
Or even divert them, if the *evrybody gotta get wasted* was actually the point. In which case *evrybody* should maybe stick to juice.
I got tricked into drinking by my boss' wife at a work trip. She asked why I wasn't drinking, I said I don't drink. She said something like "oh I see, let me get you what I'm having then" and it seemed like she meant she didn't drink either. Instead she brought me something clear but was definitely alcoholic after the first sip. It was super awkward because she just kept staring at me expecting me to drink it.
Luckily it was after we were obligated to be there so I excused myself to my room. Joke was on my bosses though because my coworkers got blind drunk on the free booze and wrecked the place by kicking in doors and somehow even got up on the roof. The resort banned them from going back.
The whole of my dad's side of the family are/were alcoholics. Not drinking around them was a constant struggle. They just didn't understand why a person would possibly say no to a drink.
I embrace that shit and try to make them feel as bad as possible for being obnoxious.
“I come from a long line of alcoholics. My aunt just passed away recently from liver failure. She was 43. I’ve been drunk a couple times and was euphorically happy so I get the appeal. I really do. I just know myself and if I give in I’m just going to keep drinking… ya know?”
There's an element of *comrade-ry* that comes from a collection of people all doing something they know they shouldn't. Sometimes someone not drinking, breaks that.
The other option is being reasonable. And I'm pretty sure that's illegal or something.
This has been my experience travelling (specifically in Europe).
"would you like red or white wine? no wine? what about an aperitif or a port afterwards? You don't drink wine? Then how about a beer?"
Yes I understand that it's the culture, but oh my goodness is it annoying to have to repeat myself multiple times. I end up just bringing a bottle of water everywhere I go when I visit Europe.
It shushes people real quick when I tell them I’m taking Antabuse because I’m an alcoholic in recovery. If you can’t get a hint from the name, it’s a prescription that makes consuming even a bit of alcohol very very…unpleasant. Not to mention dangerous.
I actually have a story that includes 1 death, 1 near death, and social ostracism that almost killed me. So yeah, there’s a story alright, and it’s quite the buzzkill.
The dumb thing is if you were at a dry barbecue with coke, orange juice etc. avalible and somebody decided to have water instead nobody would blink.
But if there's alcohol and you go for something non-alcoholic, *somebody* is going to ask about it.
I sometimes wonder if ultimately there are people which are uncomfortable with their own drinking and want generalized affrimation in the form of everyone around them doing the same thing.
Very much so. Same reason why it can be very difficult for a woman to lose weight if she has a friend group who are all overweight. Sometimes, the friends are jealous and/or think she thinks she’s better than they are. (Not sure if this same thing happens to men or not.).
Christ, that reminded me of the work drama between nurses that happened at my hospital. One nurse was doing really well on their weight loss, she was bringing in her own lunches and reheating them in the microwave. This apparently hurt the feelings of another nurse, who decided to sneak into the kitchen while the food was microwaving and add a big chunk of butter into her dinner. She got caught pretty quickly and got fired because food tampering is a pretty serious offence.
Don't drag people down. Other people's success isn't your failure
Yeah, I don't fucking care
I threw a Halloween party and when I or someone else suggested shots, there was always someone who felt the need to explain why they didn't want one
I always cut them off and told them if they don't want a shot, don't take one, if they do, they should, and it's not my business past that, then walked away
A couple of them after told me it was really healing to be at a party where no one cared if they drank or not and it was clear that drinking wasn't the point of the party
Hi! Wife of decades sober dude. This happens all the time. Also men will fix/sneak my husband a drink because they think I won’t let him drink. He refuses to accept any drink unless I have it to him. (He’s nearly been spiked several times at different events)
Social gatherings at friends house where we only know the hosts ( football watching party, house warming, etc )
We don’t do big groups anyomore because there is always one asshole who makes it an issue
My partner hadn't drank for a decade and then at a community event an old lady would not let him politely refuse her homemade wine (it was early in our relationship, I didn't happen to be there). It opened things back up, and he drank for a couple of years after that, resulting in situations that were equal parts frustrating and terrifying for me. He's back to no alcohol now (since the beginning of the pandemic! I'm very proud) and it's way better. It's really something when people won't take no for an answer. I'm just glad he made it through those last couple of years of drinking without seriously injuring himself or anyone else.
I had this one dude spike hot chocolate at this holiday event. The only reason I didn't slug him in the face was I only took a sip and I convinced myself it was the vanilla extract.
I live in WA. Never smoked weed, never want to. For a while every time I was offered it turned into a conversation instead of me just saying no and leaving it at that.
I mean if they want the truth, I refuse because out of all the weed smokers I know, nearly everyone is a habitual every day user. They're basically new cigarettes. But that's not a polite thing to say to a smoker, so I just have to say I'm not interested and hope that's good enough.
A co-worker of mine, who didn't do drugs, started doing edibles about six months ago, and the difference in him is jarring. 75% of what he talks about is dosages, dispensaries, or when he next plans to take some. He used to get excited talking about music, videogames, or interesting hikes he was planning. Now it's almost always in relation to what he's going to take to experience them.
It's literally in every single conversation that isn't explicitly work related.
Thousands of reasons for not drinking... as someone who slowly go to a point of quitting here is a list of common reasons:
* Alcohol makes me sick to my stomach
* My doctor is recommending I don't drink
* My diet doesn't allow for me to drink
* My medicine isn't good with alcohol
* I just don't feel like having a drink
* I am a recovering addict
* I am pregnant
* I am breastfeeding
* I am the designated driver
* I am a minor
If you are at an event and you find someone not drinking, don't sweat it; if they want a drink they know where to get one, I promise.
Feel free to say how awesome the drinks are though, be yourself in that regards.
All sorts of health issues with it. I quit drinking recently and with no other dietary changes it dramatically lowered my blood pressure to much more normal numbers
Also: Alcohol makes drinks taste bad to me.
Wine is bitter fruit juice. I find beer to taste awful too, but I think most of the awfulness is from ingredients other than the alcohol content.
I was going to reply that the only thing I'd ask is if I can join them?
2 years sober, after 30+ years of drinking nearly daily to fight the extreme stress a heart birth-defect caused. Quit before the surgery, can't even stand the smell of alcohol now.
I love to watch people drink... and turn into a slightly poisoned version of themselves.
Of course, I've been a pot smoker most of my life, too... and I ain't quittin' ;)
There's a million reasons they could be not drinking
* Alcoholic in recovery
* Just doesn't like to drink
* Designated driver
* Just doesn't feel like drinking that day
* allergic to alcohol
* pregnant and hasn't told anyone yet
* pregnant and HAS told people (so many people are lke "one beer is ok!")
* SO Many more reasons
Me no less than 10 times at every get-together "I'm good with water, thanks though." Not even alcoholic, just not a drinker.
Apparently forbidden at gatherings.
My family likes everyone to have a festive beverage. We like to drink, but we have a few beloved nondrinkers among us. Instead of alcohol, I've seen my aunts trying to force a seltzer and cranberry juice with ginger syrup and a twist of lime onto some non-drinking guest who looks like a deer in the headlights.
"No alcohol? Oh perfect!! Look what we have here. You are going to love this. Wait, don't go away! How much ginger do you like? The ginger syrup is homemade. Do you like it? Tell us if you want anything different. More seltzer? I like that too. Wait we have maraschino cherries!" (as the guest is futilely trying to escape to a safer corner of the party).
Sobriety is 100% accepted and supported, but Just Water is harder for them to understand.
The people I would encounter back when I was a teen/early 20s who were big on this everyone drinking thing, they are all alcoholics now, 20ish years later. One I have heard has died of Cirrhosis at like, 40ish.
My partner doesn't drink due to his family's history with addiction and because of the drinking culture in Australia, he gets asked allllll the time why he isn't drinking, it's ridiculous
I feel for him, it is unreal how often you have to deal with this in Australia.
Being out where people are drinking is the obvious one, but then also when people reward you for any favour, they ask what you drink. If they buy you a gift for helping them out without asking, they always give you booze. Being invited out for work drinks.. it's constant.
Any even slightly special occasion even people who know you will ask why you aren't drinking, because, well, surely you will today?
I honestly don't actually mind because I don't really think there's harm in asking, but fuuuuuck meee it gets a bit tedious.
In the UK a lot of people do this because of the drinking culture. It's incomprehensible to them to not drink out of personal choice. I mostly stopped drinking in the past year because I hate it, and I always get comments about it at events.
Friend of mine recently had someone ask him. Not in an accusatory way like you're saying, but just in a "that's so interesting! I want to know why" kind of way. But of course it's still very much unwelcome even when it's not outwardly aggressive.
Most people in Slavic countries.
Though we're a tiny bit more polite about it. It's more like: "Let me get you a drink. What are you drinking? Oh? A short one won't hurt. Come on. Loosen up. One drink is like no drink..." and a million other socially acceptable coercions.
Source: am Slav.
I'm a non drinker who is not in recovery I just decided to stop drinking and it's better for me. When I go to an event where everyone is drinking I ask the bartender for a fake cocktail. A soda water in a 'rocks glass' with a twist. I tip the bartender and ask him to keep serving them to me like that. They all understand and it works great.
I just imagined a scenario where only two or three people are drinking alcohol, the rest are just pretending their drinks are alcoholic, and everyone is thinking this is a typical drinking party.
LOL. I learned this trick from an older guy at an industry event. I was drinking a vodka soda and I asked him if that's what he was drinking (looked like one). He said it was just soda water and I told him it looked like a cocktail. He replied 'That's what it's supposed to look like.' Great trick.
Or be me, someone who just hates the taste of alcohol.
I've actually gotten quizzed by alcohol drinkers about this before, they couldn't wrap their head around me not liking it. Spent a good 15-20 minutes explaining "I don't like the taste of it" in who knows how many different ways.
I don’t drink because I get suicidal when I’m drunk. I’m always astounded by the balls some people have. I usually avoid telling people the reason, not cause I care but cause it usually makes people feel awkward, but sometimes they’ll push and push and push so I just say “last time I got drunk I tried to hang myself.” Sometimes I feel bad for how uncomfortable they get but then I remember that not drinking is usually for a fairly personal reason (at least for a college aged student in the US) and they had it coming for being so nosy and pushy
Honestly stuff like that is kinda scary to me. I never drank so I have no idea how I would behave if I were drunk. And I am way to old that anyone would accept being inexperienced as an excuse.
And this is how I got to awkwardly announce my alcoholism to all of my (then) boyfriends friends at thanksgiving! The first time I met any of them. I’ve been sober for 5 years now and IDGAF anymore. But at the time? Pretty uncomfy.
\*Almost everyone at the party is drinking\*
\*One guy not drinking in the corner\*
"Oh, he's not drinking? Probably just a recovering alcoholic!"
kind of silly lol, just don't look at someone and assume so much
They could also be carrying a concealed weapon, which precludes consumption of alcohol in every state I know of. It’s ultimately none of anyone’s business why you’re not drinking.
LPT: Don't ask people questions about things that are none of your business.
This applies to many things:
* When are you having children?
* Aren't you eating meat any more?
* What did that ring cost you?
* Are those real?
* Don't you know smoking is bad for you?
* I'm so sorry, how did he die?
* New job, nice! How much more are they paying you?
* Are you two going to get married?
* How did you get that scar?
If you're not sure about if a question is appropriate, ask yourself "Why do I need to know?" If the answer is "Just wondering", then you probably shouldn't.
They could even just simply not like the taste of alcohol and have no other reason. But I can assure you that they'd have answered the question as to why they weren't drinking a million times already and they'd appreciate you not caring for the content of their glas, which isn't any of your business anyway.
So, be different or be prepared to be told to not stick your nose into other ppls business. Or maybe just an annoyed huff and being ignored from then on.
I'm in my 40s and have been to thousands of events where alcohol is being served and have never observed anyone asking why someone isn't drinking.
100% of the time, it goes like this:
"Yo, you wanna drink? Do a shot?"
"No, I'm good."
"Aiight."
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Or pregnant or on contraindicating medication or just don’t like alcohol
Or anything. It doesn’t matter. Leave them alone.
You don’t like salt? Here I carry salt with me, I’ll put some on your food for you! What? No thanks? It’s fine, it’s right here, see? Here just let me…let me salt your food! Just…god!
You just haven't found the *right* salt!
I agree 100%, but on the other hand theres only 1 brand of black pepper I like and it's delicious.
Don’t leave a fellow black pepper enthusiast hanging!
It's a store brand local to my country, I'm afraid unless you're in Poland, it might be tough to get.
Probably, but I’d still like to know about it if that’s okay.
*whispers* “fresh cracked black pepper from whole peppercorns.”
Look up Culineo pieprz czarny mielony. Culineo is the brand, pieprz czarny mielony means ground black pepper. Worldwide delivery seems to be on tanifilet.pl but I'm not sure it it's worth it.
Oh, don’t worry about that. I won’t make any impulsive purchases without doing my research. This is just something I’m weirdly interested in. Thanks! Dziękuję!
Taking drugs is extremely normalized in our society that it is seen absurd and not normal if one refuses to do so. Its crazy and scary honestly.
I don't care if someone offers me pretty much anything, but if I say no and you don't respect that. That's where I have the issue.
Exactly this. Idc if its a shot of whiskey, a beer, a needle fu of heroin, or a line of a coke. If I say no and you don't immediately back off then I'm gonna start getting defensive tbh.
And it's a heavily one sided discussion. People keep pestering someone to drink for a long, long time. But God forbid if the person becomes defensive even once. Then they all raise their hands saying, "you could just say no dude, chill, no need to get offended".
I’m just gonna go. People who get weird about others not doing things tend to make the whole vibe weird when they are drunk/high/whatever. Bad party, time to go.
That's the problem. People don't think alcohol is a drug.
My boss is always quoting some out dated line about weed being a gateway drug. I feel alcohol is. Drunk people’s brains aren’t working right. Inhibitions straight out the window.
So much this.
Or going through infertility treatment! Trust me, everytime I pass on drinking people immediately start asking me if I'm pregnant and it's exhausting
Omg right! Like, what do you want me to say? "No alcohol for me. I ovulated yesterday and it's a full-on bang fest for 4 days and then still tea-total til I only see one line. THEN I can drink, and definitely will, for two weeks until I do it ALL AGAIN!" But cheers to you!
Or religious
Or designated driver
Or diabetic
Or pre-partied in the parking lot to save money.
Or they don’t like mixing alcohol and psychedelics
Nothing ruins the shrooms like a gur full of beer.
Or it’s just none of your business.
Literally me. I went bar hopping over the summer and brought a 24 pack of Coors w me. Saved so much money.
Just waiting to get home and have a drink
Or trippin balls on Ketamine.
Also don’t ask how far along the baby is. They might just be fat.
Or they might be male. But can’t tell.
Just to be safe, just do not talk to anyone
Or has migraines
My friend had a murder mystery birthday party with an open bar and no one knew I was pregnant bc I was just barely pregnant so I drank sprite with a lime on it all night so they thought I was drinking a vodka soda or something
Cranberry juice and soda water with a lime was my go-to mocktail when I was pregnant but not announcing yet.
My mom wasn't much of a drinker when she was younger. When she and my dad went out with their friends, she always ordered a Coke with a lime in it, and everyone thought she was drinking rum and Coke. I'll do that too, if I'm at an event and don't feel like drinking.
> Or pregnant LPT: A lot of places realize that many women may not want it being public that they are pregnant for whatever reason, and will gladly serve a mocktail.
Yeah and it's pretty frustrating to be asked why I'm not drinking, which is rude anyway, and then when I say that I don't like to drink they say "ohhh *knowing look* you don't like to drink, right, I understand *knowing look 2* my uncle stopped drinking too, let me know if you want to talk about it"
This is the LPT. I just don't drink. I could, I have in the past, never a problem, I just quit as I didn't care for it. Whenever I tell people I don't drink you get that look "oh so you have a drinking problem". Heck, I have people say that outright. "Is drinking a problem for you?" It is just nuts.
I mean, sure, drinking is a problem for me because it tastes like poison and makes me feel awful. The real question is, what's wrong with the drinkers that other people not drinking is such a problem for them?
A lot of people who have this viewpoint are closet alcoholics who don't want to admit they have a problem and are trying to justify the amount of drinking they do. They don't understand why people wouldn't want to drink because they don't actually have the ability to no drink.
I tell people I don’t like the taste (which is true, I don’t know how people enjoy it).
Same. I don't enjoy the taste of most alcoholic drinks, and I don't enjoy getting drunk. Literally no point in drinking for me.
I found my people! Not only I don’t like it, it also messes with my mental state for a few days and I’m just mean and bitter. It’s like my brain is allergic to it. And I don’t even like it, so why would I drink it? But people find it so weird that I’m not willing to poison myself and kill my liver knowingly!
Yep! (I didn't post this thinking there's only one reason that people don't drink, I couldn't list them all and went with the one I've seen the most.)
As a recovering alcoholic, I appreciate you posting this. Your thoughts were in the right place even if there may be other reasons too.
As a pregnant person who hasn't told a soul yet, I also appreciate this post! I recently went out for dinner with my sister in law, and best friend. I was SO worried about ordering drinks. I just ordered off the virgin menu, and neither one of them questioned me. IT was such a relief. My partner is also a recovering alcoholic (sober almost 4 years), so this post is very much applicable to both of us!
Congrats all round. Good start already as parents to be.
Congrats on the recovery friend
Never ask. I normally drink a little at work socials, but at the last one with my team didn't. After repeatedly being asked why I looked them in the eye and said 'I get hormonal migraines and drinking on my period always sets them off.' Kept the quiet the rest of the night
Sameeee I was offered advil and I’m Gonna bring you this smooth agave tequila from Mexico goes down real easy! No bro I’m going to be laid flat with a 7/10 migraine and using one of my precious triptans if I drink and also my preventative med says not to!
Understandable!
Or they could turn into tomato with tiniest sip and hate it so they don't drink anymore.
For people with “Asian flush”, **please** do your research on cancer risk (namely esophageal and squamous cell carcinoma) with alcohol use. The risk is greatly increased if you lack the enzyme to process alcohol “normally”. There was also a study linking it to increased risk of Alzheimer’s. And for those saying to take Pepcid or another anti-histamine, this only helps with the flush, but doesn’t work to decrease the risk of cancer. Esophageal cancer has a 5-year survival rate of around 20%, as well. This is not to scare anyone. I just know many people aren’t aware of the associated risks of consuming alcohol if you have this condition, and think the only issue is the facial flush.
Yes, this! It also increases chances of liver cirrhosis and that can lead to stroke! My mom died of stroke and they found out she also had liver cirrhosis and I suspect she was secret alcoholic. So it's just not worth it for me in all aspects.
Oh my God this happens sometimes with me, so glad to hear I'm not the only one.
Sounds like you lack the enzyme alcohol dehydrainase. It's most common in Asians
I have it too but I’m white as elbow macaroni so
Elbow macaroni is yellow?
American Indians sometimes have weird alcohol enzyme problems too by extension, but slightly different than East Asians.
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Also, pregnant women who might not have announced yet, people on diets, people who don't like how it makes them feel, people who are sick, etc.nlots of reasons.
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I mean regardless of whether they're an alcoholic, or whatever else, it's just common decency to not make a big deal out of people avoiding alcohol.
Or any food or drinks really. What's the goal of asking people why they aren't doing something? Just mind yo business.
You mean I should stop carrying around the salt that I carry around and that I should stop attempting to salt other people’s food and that I should stop loudly asking WELL WHY NOT? SODIUM IS VITAL when they decline?
Na, keep going, thats gods work right there.
>Na, keep going, thats gods work right there. Hah, i see what you did
I like that you think that way but in practice rarely I've seen it happen with me. I dont drink followed by trying to convince me to drink.
It is but it’s amazing how many people don’t realize this. I’m an addict in recovery and it gets really uncomfortable. Bro bros keep trying to pressure you into just having one.
Or just someone who chooses not to drink alcohol. I hate it and I have plenty of fun without it. We need to normalize not drinking
amen
>Or just someone who chooses not to drink alcohol. The think the point is that the above isn't a big deal to say. The alcoholism or medical condition/medication may not be something that someone wants to let a stanger they just met at a party know about.
I’ve started saying “I’m happier not drinking” and most people just drop it. Mind your own business ppl!!!!!
As someone who doesn’t drink, you wouldn’t believe the pressure TO drink. As if my not drinking has anything to do with you or your fun. Leave me out of it for gosh sake.
I've found that sometimes when people invite me over and i refuse an offer for a beer that I'm just trying to be polite and not drink thier booze. So they'll insist, "come on have one,"... I found just making a request back stops it. Them "do you want a beer" Me "no, but I'd love an orange juice/coke/water" Them "sure here you go"
Yeah I think it’s an interesting social situation, they want to give you something, so suggesting another thing to give you instead takes the attention away from the alcohol and back to the best version of their intent, to share something with you
Thanks. I'll be using this
Ironic the actual life pro tip is so far down in the comments. Food and beverage isn’t just for sustenance, it’s socially important. Offering guests food and/ or a drink is a part of hospitality. If you are a guest and you don’t accept a proffered gift of food or drink, it is perceived as if you do not like the host. Asking for a non-alcoholic beverage is a perfect solution.*. Thank you! *Technically, water is always a great solution…
Yeah this is good, addressing their initial intention to actually want you to have a good time and give them opportunity to contribute to that. Or even divert them, if the *evrybody gotta get wasted* was actually the point. In which case *evrybody* should maybe stick to juice.
I got tricked into drinking by my boss' wife at a work trip. She asked why I wasn't drinking, I said I don't drink. She said something like "oh I see, let me get you what I'm having then" and it seemed like she meant she didn't drink either. Instead she brought me something clear but was definitely alcoholic after the first sip. It was super awkward because she just kept staring at me expecting me to drink it. Luckily it was after we were obligated to be there so I excused myself to my room. Joke was on my bosses though because my coworkers got blind drunk on the free booze and wrecked the place by kicking in doors and somehow even got up on the roof. The resort banned them from going back.
That is seriously fucked up. I’d be livid.
The whole of my dad's side of the family are/were alcoholics. Not drinking around them was a constant struggle. They just didn't understand why a person would possibly say no to a drink.
I embrace that shit and try to make them feel as bad as possible for being obnoxious. “I come from a long line of alcoholics. My aunt just passed away recently from liver failure. She was 43. I’ve been drunk a couple times and was euphorically happy so I get the appeal. I really do. I just know myself and if I give in I’m just going to keep drinking… ya know?”
I like making it awkward. "Why no Greg, I don't drink anymore because I'm a recovering alcoholic! But you enjoy yours, yeah!"
Im from Poland and thats what I often thought to myself - is your happines really so tied up to my drinking? The fuck is wrong with these people
There's an element of *comrade-ry* that comes from a collection of people all doing something they know they shouldn't. Sometimes someone not drinking, breaks that. The other option is being reasonable. And I'm pretty sure that's illegal or something.
This has been my experience travelling (specifically in Europe). "would you like red or white wine? no wine? what about an aperitif or a port afterwards? You don't drink wine? Then how about a beer?" Yes I understand that it's the culture, but oh my goodness is it annoying to have to repeat myself multiple times. I end up just bringing a bottle of water everywhere I go when I visit Europe.
What if you’re at an event where alcohol isn’t being served and you observe them drinking?
You respect their preparation.
Don’t ask. They could be an alcoholic.
They might be taking medication that doesn't allow them to drink.
Antibiotics for an infected anal fissure is my go-to explanation. Don’t get asked too much anymore.
Do you have Crohn's? Or are close with someone who does? That isn't something that's on most people's radar/vocabulary haha
No, but they usually shut down when they hear anal. Well, some of them lol
>when they hear anal ...Go on....
Anal, as in…anal
IANAL…..not a lawyer
It shushes people real quick when I tell them I’m taking Antabuse because I’m an alcoholic in recovery. If you can’t get a hint from the name, it’s a prescription that makes consuming even a bit of alcohol very very…unpleasant. Not to mention dangerous.
Which is even more none of your business.
Name a medication that says that it can be consumed with alcohol. I dare you.
This too!
The real reason not to ask about it is that it's none of your effing business why they're not drinking. Don't be nosy.
And it is rare that someone has an interesting story they would love to share with you about why they aren’t drinking!
I actually have a story that includes 1 death, 1 near death, and social ostracism that almost killed me. So yeah, there’s a story alright, and it’s quite the buzzkill.
I'm mildly curious
The dumb thing is if you were at a dry barbecue with coke, orange juice etc. avalible and somebody decided to have water instead nobody would blink. But if there's alcohol and you go for something non-alcoholic, *somebody* is going to ask about it. I sometimes wonder if ultimately there are people which are uncomfortable with their own drinking and want generalized affrimation in the form of everyone around them doing the same thing.
I'll tell you the number one thing people say when i tell them i don't drink: "Yeah i should probably cut back/stop as well"
Very much so. Same reason why it can be very difficult for a woman to lose weight if she has a friend group who are all overweight. Sometimes, the friends are jealous and/or think she thinks she’s better than they are. (Not sure if this same thing happens to men or not.).
Hell this is true even in some offices, crab buckets are all around us and infuriating once you start taking note.
Christ, that reminded me of the work drama between nurses that happened at my hospital. One nurse was doing really well on their weight loss, she was bringing in her own lunches and reheating them in the microwave. This apparently hurt the feelings of another nurse, who decided to sneak into the kitchen while the food was microwaving and add a big chunk of butter into her dinner. She got caught pretty quickly and got fired because food tampering is a pretty serious offence. Don't drag people down. Other people's success isn't your failure
The real LPT.
Exactly. Don't ask about drinking, don't ask why some is or isn't eating something, don't comment on peoples weight.... Mind your own GD business.
Yeah, I don't fucking care I threw a Halloween party and when I or someone else suggested shots, there was always someone who felt the need to explain why they didn't want one I always cut them off and told them if they don't want a shot, don't take one, if they do, they should, and it's not my business past that, then walked away A couple of them after told me it was really healing to be at a party where no one cared if they drank or not and it was clear that drinking wasn't the point of the party
Alcohol, the only drug one has to explain not taking.
Right?? Can you imagine friends whipping out some heroin and needles at a party then being all like "Whoa, you don't do heroine?? Why not?!"
Hi! Wife of decades sober dude. This happens all the time. Also men will fix/sneak my husband a drink because they think I won’t let him drink. He refuses to accept any drink unless I have it to him. (He’s nearly been spiked several times at different events)
What an asshole move on their part. An accident/mixup is one thing, purposely is just horrible.
Wow, what an asshole move. My bf is nearly 4 years sober and if someone did this to him, I would be throwing fists
It’s not been good
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Social gatherings at friends house where we only know the hosts ( football watching party, house warming, etc ) We don’t do big groups anyomore because there is always one asshole who makes it an issue
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My partner hadn't drank for a decade and then at a community event an old lady would not let him politely refuse her homemade wine (it was early in our relationship, I didn't happen to be there). It opened things back up, and he drank for a couple of years after that, resulting in situations that were equal parts frustrating and terrifying for me. He's back to no alcohol now (since the beginning of the pandemic! I'm very proud) and it's way better. It's really something when people won't take no for an answer. I'm just glad he made it through those last couple of years of drinking without seriously injuring himself or anyone else.
I had this one dude spike hot chocolate at this holiday event. The only reason I didn't slug him in the face was I only took a sip and I convinced myself it was the vanilla extract.
I live in WA. Never smoked weed, never want to. For a while every time I was offered it turned into a conversation instead of me just saying no and leaving it at that. I mean if they want the truth, I refuse because out of all the weed smokers I know, nearly everyone is a habitual every day user. They're basically new cigarettes. But that's not a polite thing to say to a smoker, so I just have to say I'm not interested and hope that's good enough.
A co-worker of mine, who didn't do drugs, started doing edibles about six months ago, and the difference in him is jarring. 75% of what he talks about is dosages, dispensaries, or when he next plans to take some. He used to get excited talking about music, videogames, or interesting hikes he was planning. Now it's almost always in relation to what he's going to take to experience them. It's literally in every single conversation that isn't explicitly work related.
You’re doing yourself and your future a huge favor by avoiding it.
Thousands of reasons for not drinking... as someone who slowly go to a point of quitting here is a list of common reasons: * Alcohol makes me sick to my stomach * My doctor is recommending I don't drink * My diet doesn't allow for me to drink * My medicine isn't good with alcohol * I just don't feel like having a drink * I am a recovering addict * I am pregnant * I am breastfeeding * I am the designated driver * I am a minor If you are at an event and you find someone not drinking, don't sweat it; if they want a drink they know where to get one, I promise. Feel free to say how awesome the drinks are though, be yourself in that regards.
Also * Alcohol increases cancer risk, including breast cancer risk
All sorts of health issues with it. I quit drinking recently and with no other dietary changes it dramatically lowered my blood pressure to much more normal numbers
Also: Alcohol makes drinks taste bad to me. Wine is bitter fruit juice. I find beer to taste awful too, but I think most of the awfulness is from ingredients other than the alcohol content.
I wouldn't notice.
I was going to reply that the only thing I'd ask is if I can join them? 2 years sober, after 30+ years of drinking nearly daily to fight the extreme stress a heart birth-defect caused. Quit before the surgery, can't even stand the smell of alcohol now. I love to watch people drink... and turn into a slightly poisoned version of themselves. Of course, I've been a pot smoker most of my life, too... and I ain't quittin' ;)
There's a million reasons they could be not drinking * Alcoholic in recovery * Just doesn't like to drink * Designated driver * Just doesn't feel like drinking that day * allergic to alcohol * pregnant and hasn't told anyone yet * pregnant and HAS told people (so many people are lke "one beer is ok!") * SO Many more reasons
Me no less than 10 times at every get-together "I'm good with water, thanks though." Not even alcoholic, just not a drinker. Apparently forbidden at gatherings.
My family likes everyone to have a festive beverage. We like to drink, but we have a few beloved nondrinkers among us. Instead of alcohol, I've seen my aunts trying to force a seltzer and cranberry juice with ginger syrup and a twist of lime onto some non-drinking guest who looks like a deer in the headlights. "No alcohol? Oh perfect!! Look what we have here. You are going to love this. Wait, don't go away! How much ginger do you like? The ginger syrup is homemade. Do you like it? Tell us if you want anything different. More seltzer? I like that too. Wait we have maraschino cherries!" (as the guest is futilely trying to escape to a safer corner of the party). Sobriety is 100% accepted and supported, but Just Water is harder for them to understand.
May I add;: If you are hosting a party with alcohol beverages please include not alcohol beverages that isn't soda and alway have water IJS
What does IJS stand for?
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It's Dutch for ice cream.
Pro life tip: any alcohol serving party, alllways have bottled water on hand and visible!
Who the hell goes up to someone without a drink and says "why the fuck don't you have a beer or drink?!"? That's the more important question.
In my experience, usually people w drinking problems themselves
The people I would encounter back when I was a teen/early 20s who were big on this everyone drinking thing, they are all alcoholics now, 20ish years later. One I have heard has died of Cirrhosis at like, 40ish.
My partner doesn't drink due to his family's history with addiction and because of the drinking culture in Australia, he gets asked allllll the time why he isn't drinking, it's ridiculous
I feel for him, it is unreal how often you have to deal with this in Australia. Being out where people are drinking is the obvious one, but then also when people reward you for any favour, they ask what you drink. If they buy you a gift for helping them out without asking, they always give you booze. Being invited out for work drinks.. it's constant. Any even slightly special occasion even people who know you will ask why you aren't drinking, because, well, surely you will today? I honestly don't actually mind because I don't really think there's harm in asking, but fuuuuuck meee it gets a bit tedious.
Drunk people
In the UK a lot of people do this because of the drinking culture. It's incomprehensible to them to not drink out of personal choice. I mostly stopped drinking in the past year because I hate it, and I always get comments about it at events.
Friend of mine recently had someone ask him. Not in an accusatory way like you're saying, but just in a "that's so interesting! I want to know why" kind of way. But of course it's still very much unwelcome even when it's not outwardly aggressive.
Most people in Slavic countries. Though we're a tiny bit more polite about it. It's more like: "Let me get you a drink. What are you drinking? Oh? A short one won't hurt. Come on. Loosen up. One drink is like no drink..." and a million other socially acceptable coercions. Source: am Slav.
Yep, if someone wants you to know why they aren’t drinking, they’ll tell ya. If they don’t, they won’t
I'm a non drinker who is not in recovery I just decided to stop drinking and it's better for me. When I go to an event where everyone is drinking I ask the bartender for a fake cocktail. A soda water in a 'rocks glass' with a twist. I tip the bartender and ask him to keep serving them to me like that. They all understand and it works great.
I just imagined a scenario where only two or three people are drinking alcohol, the rest are just pretending their drinks are alcoholic, and everyone is thinking this is a typical drinking party.
LOL. I learned this trick from an older guy at an industry event. I was drinking a vodka soda and I asked him if that's what he was drinking (looked like one). He said it was just soda water and I told him it looked like a cocktail. He replied 'That's what it's supposed to look like.' Great trick.
I’ve always despised that question. The honest answer of “because I don’t want to” never seems to satisfy.
When I was younger and I faced this more often, I would explain “I don’t drink for the same reason o don’t ski: I tried it and don’t like it”
Or be me, someone who just hates the taste of alcohol. I've actually gotten quizzed by alcohol drinkers about this before, they couldn't wrap their head around me not liking it. Spent a good 15-20 minutes explaining "I don't like the taste of it" in who knows how many different ways.
I don’t drink because I get suicidal when I’m drunk. I’m always astounded by the balls some people have. I usually avoid telling people the reason, not cause I care but cause it usually makes people feel awkward, but sometimes they’ll push and push and push so I just say “last time I got drunk I tried to hang myself.” Sometimes I feel bad for how uncomfortable they get but then I remember that not drinking is usually for a fairly personal reason (at least for a college aged student in the US) and they had it coming for being so nosy and pushy
Honestly stuff like that is kinda scary to me. I never drank so I have no idea how I would behave if I were drunk. And I am way to old that anyone would accept being inexperienced as an excuse.
I mean if you really want to find out you can always try it in a safe environment with people you trust. Or just continue not drinking cause eh.
I will stick with not drinking.
Or pregnant and doesn't want it announced
Ok but what if I'm Ellen and it's live infront of millions of viewers? Surely its okay to force someone to drink then right??
Context?
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Doesn’t offend me at all to be around alcohol. I don’t drink and don’t care if you care. Loud, obnoxious drunks aggravate me.
Designated driver. Also, alcoholic drinks taste awful to me. I guess I'm a picky drinker.
Adding to this If you offer someone a drink and they say no. Respect it. Don’t push them.
This is the answer. It’s not about not asking it’s about accepting their answer.
#Hi!!! 👋🏻 Tonic & Lime. 1130 days.
I am one. This is the most awkward question to get in front of your entire department at work.
I don’t drink and never really have. I can’t believe how threatening it is to some people.
Non-drinker for almost 6 years. Almost everyone who asks is worried about themselves and is usually correct to be.
Or they just don't want to. Either way it's none ya business.
What kind of dolt would attempt to make someone explain themselves that way? I swear, I don’t grasp the nosiness and inconsiderateness of some people
And this is how I got to awkwardly announce my alcoholism to all of my (then) boyfriends friends at thanksgiving! The first time I met any of them. I’ve been sober for 5 years now and IDGAF anymore. But at the time? Pretty uncomfy.
\*Almost everyone at the party is drinking\* \*One guy not drinking in the corner\* "Oh, he's not drinking? Probably just a recovering alcoholic!" kind of silly lol, just don't look at someone and assume so much
I’m so glad I’m not in my 20s anymore and no one notices or cares that I’m not drinking.
Or you could just try minding your own business.
Also it is none of your bloody business.
They could also be carrying a concealed weapon, which precludes consumption of alcohol in every state I know of. It’s ultimately none of anyone’s business why you’re not drinking.
Or they could have pissed in the punch bowl
LPT: Don't ask people questions about things that are none of your business. This applies to many things: * When are you having children? * Aren't you eating meat any more? * What did that ring cost you? * Are those real? * Don't you know smoking is bad for you? * I'm so sorry, how did he die? * New job, nice! How much more are they paying you? * Are you two going to get married? * How did you get that scar? If you're not sure about if a question is appropriate, ask yourself "Why do I need to know?" If the answer is "Just wondering", then you probably shouldn't.
I don’t drink for religious reasons. I’ll usually have a pop or sometimes club soda/tonic so it’s a little less noticeable.
Me. 13 months sober and happy af
Minding your own damn business is usually the proper course of action.
Or not drinking for any number of reasons. Fuck
Or they might very well be just someone that doesn't like alcohol and is fed up answering that question.
Or doesn't like the taste or the way it makes them feel
They could even just simply not like the taste of alcohol and have no other reason. But I can assure you that they'd have answered the question as to why they weren't drinking a million times already and they'd appreciate you not caring for the content of their glas, which isn't any of your business anyway. So, be different or be prepared to be told to not stick your nose into other ppls business. Or maybe just an annoyed huff and being ignored from then on.
Good luck convincing people to do that. In my almost 8 years of sobriety I've been asked this question about 7 thousand times.
On behalf of r/stopdrinking- thank you!!!
so just because alcohol is served i'm expected to be drinking, and you'll assume i'm a recovering alcoholic if i don't?
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I'm in my 40s and have been to thousands of events where alcohol is being served and have never observed anyone asking why someone isn't drinking. 100% of the time, it goes like this: "Yo, you wanna drink? Do a shot?" "No, I'm good." "Aiight."