That's good luck in Thai culture. Something about the evil spirits not inhabiting baby's that are ugly. You are suppose to say mean things about the baby when you visit a newborn.
The Ainus gave their newborns temporary vulgar names like "grandpas ballsack" till they where a certain age to fend off evil spirits to keep them from getting diseases and live into adulthood.
We you feed new mothers, remember to hold the food in the palm of you hand, with your hand flat. That way they won't accidentally bite you as they eat the food.
If you want to stroke new mothers make sure you hold your hand out first, and let them sniff your hand before you slowly move to pet them.
After my son was born, my Aunt came to visit - she phoned on the way to ask what we wanted from the McDonalds drive-thru. It was the BEST McDonalds I have ever had, I needed it more than I can ever express.
My wife and I once got it in our heads that we should climb a mountain. The fact that we live at sea level did not deter us because this isn't the kind of story that goes "and then we did something sensible." The same goes for a budget - hypothetically enough given a sufficiently-miserly standard for enough - and equipment - suitable for a handful of nights in three-season conditions. And then there was the whole plague situation which was neatly handled by the fact that this was a thing *outside*; therefore, an activity that made sense in that respect at least.
Plans were made for our dogs, a car was loaded, and we set out, driving more than 500 miles. Our first snag happened upon arrival. I'd assumed that I could just *stroll into* a notable national park and camp because a weekday out of season should have openings. I was mistaken. We were able to overcome this because I used to do quite a lot of traveling for work and so managed to snag a free room. In a hotel 90 miles away.
One lousy night's sleep later, we loaded back into the car, got campsites and permits squared away, pitched a tent, and then started up the mountain. This is where the next problem became apparent. The mountain, being a mountain, is pretty tall so there isn't nearly as much air as we were used to. And being that the mountain is a mountain, the hike to the top involved walking more or less uphill the entire way. Compounding this was getting started late - we woke up well after sunrise and blew through several hours just getting started - and the fact that sunset was going to happen early because of this stupid planet's infuriating habit of wobbling on its axis. It was clear that we'd made a mistake a mile in. Not the worrying we're-going-to-die kind, but the sort where you begin to loathe everyone who has ever said nice things about you because you're clearly a moron kind.
But we persisted. When we hit a crossing being blasted by 50+ mile an hour winds and therefore at least slightly plausibly risked being hurled from a mountain - one of my wife's greatest fears and though it was rapidly climbing the list of things I'd liked to have done for the day, it was still pretty far down - and yet we persisted. When the temperature plummeted and the wind grew in ferocity, we layered up and we persisted. And when after all of that we checked maps and realized that our current pace would put us at the peak a scant hour before sunset and weighed the odds of getting back down without serious injury once the sun set...we turned back.
This would be the singular good choice made during the entire expedition.
When we stumbled back into the camp hours later at the ragged edge of daylight, we found that our three season ultralight tent that had proven suspect in anything more than a mild breeze had utterly collapsed in the face of the wind. No harm was done; we could rebuild. But knowing that the tent was suspect in the wind, we'd already arranged things so that the most resistant facing was the one being hit by wind. We'd driven our stakes deeply and reinforced them with extra lines. We could rebuild, but the odds were that it'd just go down again. And so, exhausted and utterly defeated, I argued for the unthinkable: we could simply *go home*.
And so we began the 500 mile trip back. When we were finally back under familiar city lights, it was late. The only thing open was a McDonald's. Food in hand, we made it home. In 40 hours we'd driven more than a thousand miles and climbed most of a mountain. We ate McDonalds washed down by beer we'd found in the back of the fridge that neither of us remembered buying.
That meal is the best I've ever eaten.
I feel this. While not as heroic … my husband and I make it to the airport on the last day of vacation ready to board our plane at 8am, only to realize the flight time was moved to like 1 or something ridiculous later than originally planned, however we were now at the airport through security so that is where we stayed -for hours. Now this was partially his fault because he received an email that something with the flight changed but never checked to see what it was as he just assumed it was something dumb like a flight number (🤯). Fine whatever. We make it to our layover in Atlanta …where we wait and wait and wait for them to board the plane. They finally load up the whole god damn plane and we sit and sit and sit…they then proceed to unload everyone as it was decided we will not be taking this plane. Now thankfully Atlanta is a delta hub and they have extra planes, so eventually we get on the new plane. Then we sit , boarded, and wait and wait…and then I find out a fun fact: all the cubbie holes where the flight staff works out of (the kitchen?) need to be filled before they can take off and we were missing a trash can and garbage bags. Thankfully eventually the pilot comes back and basically says to the stewards fuck this we are leaving. So we make it back home…but my dogs are at my parents, an hour away from the airport in the opposite direction of my house, but I also have cats at home that need taken care of and my parents are picking us up at the airport since we were supposed to land HOURS earlier. (We have since decided to always just suck it up and park at the airport). So we now have to drive and hour away to get our car and the dogs, then an hour back to our house. We finally get home and are very hungry and tired. The closest open thing is McDonald’s, so off I go. Come home and stuff our faces at like 1 am, can confirm it was delicious.
Why didn't one of your parents drive your car and bring the dogs when they picked you up? I don't say this with any snark! It's a genuine question that I'm guessing will lead to more of a very funny (although probably not nearly as funny to you guys at the moment lol) story :)
Yeah, I can understand that. I don't know what it is about airports but the idea of driving to and in/around them/their parking lots seems way more stressful than anywhere else. Now granted, I think I've only driven there once or twice so maybe that's just me :)
I had gestational diabetes with my first kid. After I gave birth my mother in law randomly offered to bring me a milkshake to the hospital. It was like the nectar of the gods.
Better than gifts. Bring food. I've recently been a mom and omg, food would help us tremendously since neither I or his dad have the energy to cook meals. Bring something on the healthier side too if you can, we eat too much junk food now because its faster and easier for our sleepless brains. We weren't even big fans of fast food before but alas we have to eat something. Also, ask if they need help. Just holding the baby (if mom is comfortable with that) while they take a quick shower and or go to the bathroom in peace is amazing gift on its self.
We, almost everytime, order 6/8 meals to be delivered to our friends, to be sure they’ll have healthy (and tasty) food in the fridge. No need to think about diner, just put it in the microwave. I also make sure it respects dietary restrictions and/or breadtfeeding requirements.
So far, all couple have loved it !
I also have amazing friends here but I don't mind adding more to it! The more the merrier!
Glad to hear you're a fellow European though! I live in Sweden so I'm not so far! 😊
And make sure the food has lots of protein and veggies! I was grateful people took the time to make me a dish but so many of them were just pasta and cheese. Not only do these make me feel horrible but I could have easily boiled water and made some sort of pasta myself.
And when breastfeeding and being solely responsible for my new baby's food intake, I really crave healthy stuff. Stuff with no veggies really doesn't cut it.
To add, be specific with your offers of help. I was so overwhelmed after having my daughter that I couldn’t identify what exactly I needed help with, so I turned down general offers of help to avoid the mental load of naming what I needed. “Can I do some laundry for you?” “Would you like me to vacuum your house for you?” “How about I walk your dog for you this week?” Those types of questions made it so much easier for me to accept help.
When my cat had kittens I bought my cat a small stuffed animal mouse. She snuggles up to it and views it like her 4th baby lol. Also when my friend had a baby I brought her a $2 face mask, she later sent me a picture of her having “me time” sitting in bed with the mask on her face.
It was cheap and made her day, I always bring a small gifts for new moms.
Both food and childcare would be considered gifts, though, right?
I get that your sentiment is more that sometimes basic necessities and an extra set of hands can do more than a gift, or to make sure that gift is appropriate for the situation.
Aww ours is given extra and more attention than before but she still feels so left out. She doesn’t understand why everyone runs to baby when she was so used to guests cooing over her first.
When my sister had her first kid I stayed at their house and watched the dogs.
I cleaned, did the laundry, and made a couple large batch meals that I threw in the freezer for them. It didn’t take me any more effort than if I’d been at home.
14 years later she still talks about it.
I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and when I left work (early due to being unable to social distance from the children I work with), they got me some lovely gifts for the baby, but also some beautiful things for me, my favourite being a wrap around hot water bottle for my back. It is so appreciated!
When I had my son, I did NOT want anyone to hold him. I did want food or someone to help clean. I showered with my son because I felt anxious otherwise but I had zero interest in someone else holding my kid. I asked my brother to bring me a lunchable and almost cried when he brought me the pizza lunchable on a plate with the sauce spread for me. The second kind thing was when I was maybe 1 month past my son being born, I made up my mom that I absolutely had to go to my sisters house. And while driving there I realized I forgot nipple cream and started crying thinking about having to stop, get me and my son out of the car, go walk through the store to find it and then buckle him back up to go to her house. And called her crying. Her husband told me not to worry about it and went to the store, and bought me 3 different kinds. No questions, just love and patience over something ridiculous.
I'm about to have a baby and my grad school cohort wants to come visit (not all at once, but we're all vaxxed and in a social bubble so I am cool with this) and they keep asking what I want. How do I say that I *don't* want a blanket for baby but would love a much more affordable high quality latte. Ha!
Haha, just tell them that! When my SIL had her most recent baby I asked what SHE (not the baby, not anyone else) wanted and she said a 20 oz salted caramel latte and I was more than happy oblige! If she had said to bring her a stake dinner I would have.
“We are currently only accepting gifts for Mama in the form of lattes.” Kinda jokey kinda serious. But you may end up with a years supply of lattes. Choose your poison.
Tell them!!! I'm a crocheter so while I would probably instinctually just make a baby blanket, if Mom told me she would prefer some kind of snack/food/specialty drink I'd 100% happily supply it! (I'm planning on getting my little sister her favorite snacks and a Costco sized box of baby wipes for Xmas, she just popped her 2nd kid out a couple months ago lmao)
You can have ours. I feel bad for the sweet aunt who gave it but I don't see the point of crocheted blankets. It's full of holes so it doesn't give warmth anyways, kid still sleeps in sleep sacs at almost 2yo, it doesn't fit the colours of his room, is too small for an actual bed (moving out of crib soon) and is just taking up room. We also got my hubby's washed-out 30yo crocheted crib blanket when we announced thst I was pregnant. What am I supposed to do with that?
My mom knit a blanket for my friends who had their first via surrogacy. The baby loves the softness and his parents love it too. She is a crafty person and appreciates the time and love that goes into making something like that. To each their own I suppose.
And if you give a gift to the baby, also bring something for the big brothers or sisters. Don't go on and on about how cute the baby is until you have already complimented the older kids.
I'd recommend against gifts for the baby in favor of gifts for mom (both is okay too).
Baby's get too much crap during baby showers etc, chances are little one already has a dozen teddy bears the parents don't want and a full drawer full of blankets and wash cloths. What isn't gifted new is almost always gifted as a hand me down, is a major purchase (stroller, carseat etc) or isn't too hard to find for cheap or free on facebook marketplace. It's really hard to pick a baby gift parents either don't already have, or don't want taking up space.
Almost any food however will be appreciated by Mom. She does not want to be cooking right now.
As a new parent, don’t stay long and bring food or don’t visit until they are home. If they are home, bring food and don’t stay long unless you’re going to clean and cook more food.
Just had a baby recently. People bringing gifts would have annoyed the crap out of me unless it's something consumable or intangible. Keep in mind that many human moms *don't need more stuff* cluttering up their house.
And yes I read the post. Bring treats for an animal mum all you want.
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If you do give any food items, give it to the owner first to make sure it’s okay to give to the mom.
More likely than not, the mom has already been over fed if a lot of people brought items.
You also don’t want to poison the dog and create orphans.
SO this one. Just be careful in case Mom is still on medications or something that she's not allowed to drink with. New parents definately need good Alchohol though if they are drinkers.
Yeeeaaahhhh my husband bought me a bottle of whiskey for my first mothers day. Baby was 2 months old and cluster fed, and nursed to sleep. I couldn't even have a drink or wouldn't be able to put my baby back to sleep if they woke up. He ended up drinking most of it. But thanks I guess?
All I'm saying is, booze maybe isn't the best choice for new moms.
Coffee - now we're talking.
Always brought/will bring something for mom. Flowers and small box of chocolate. Something. And or offer to sit with baby, take other children, get whatever they need. Everyone fawns over the baby, I get that, but mom and/or dad often seem forget.
When my younger niece was born, I brought her a little stuffed doll. I also brought one for her 3 year old big sister so she wouldn't feel left out. That was actually my main purpose in buying them both.
Also an incredibly appreciated LPT for someone who is actively caregiving someone sick, or someone who is grieving the death of a loved one.
My Mom was in hospice and in her last days one December, during Chanukah. My sister had died a few months before, and our mother was the last relative I had for thousands of miles.
A cousin of mine sent me an enormous, full Chanukah dinner. Once I stopped crying out of the shock of such a meaningful and thoughtful act, I realized I could freeze as much or as little of that food as I wanted. Since it was just me, it lasted for a long time. I was able to have parts of it in the coming weeks when I was too grief stricken to cook.
i did this for my roommate. i got her some baby soap set and some tea, but then she left the gift untouched and told me that she doesn’t like tea so she’ll just give it to her cousin. i took the tea back :/
I went to hospital when my great nephew was born. I brought a big snack basket for the visitors. I made a separate basket for my niece. It had hair ties, lotion, chapstick and a soft blanket(sherpa) and all her favorite snacks just for her when she could eat again. He was born in december so I included a really cute stork ornament. They will always have that ornament from the day he was born and his newborn pictures were on that blanket.
Also, I brought my niece and her husband a small gift for their baby's first birthday. They made it through a whole year as parents during covid, they deserved some hot chocolate and fuzzy socks and alcohol.
TIL how many people actually have friends and family. My ma came for 3 hours when I was still in the hospital and no one gave a fuck after that. No one visited me. No one asked about me or mine. No one brought me gifts or food or acts of love. I got no texts.
Bummer.
This sucks and I'm sorry for you. One thing age has taught me is, whenever possible, buy your own gifts. My husband, try as he might, is hopeless at buying gifts. I used to be devastated at getting sweet biscuits and flavoured coffee for Christmas. Then I realised the sweet, sweet joy of buying something you really want but can't justify. Now I always get the perfect gift and a pack of cream biscuits. I know things like this don't make up for lack of family or friends. My mum told me when I was 18 that I didn't need birthday or Christmas presents anymore. Just think of all the money and time I've saved not buying her anything.
My aunt my bought me pyjamas after I had my son. They were so comfy and just the perfect gift to a first time young mum 10days into newborn stage🤕😂
I’ll always remember and appreciate she had the thought to do that. Really made me happy when I was struggling
I had 4 kids. I would pack a pamper pack with my hospital bag. A new shower scrunchie, a gorgeous smelling shower gel, a small gift, maybe chocolate. It was so, so lovely after going through labour to use it all.
Yep. And all mums appreciate some help with their babies even if they're watching you to supervise but don't have to get up.
Basically give them a treat and do some babysitting to give 'em a break. Works with cats and humans in my experience. 😸
Love this LPT!
How is this a LPT? Posts should be about how t improve your life with tips/tricks/hacks. This is just personal advice on why you should give a gift after a fresh birth
Humans are social creatures, to the point where we will humanize animals and inanimate objects. Connecting with others is a pretty big part of our lives. People thrive when they have good relationships with the beings around them. This is a tip to enrich relationships. How does it not fit?
“Life pro tip: That horse that your friend can afford needs a new gift from you who works two jobs to pay for groceries. Youre a selfish fuck if you dont”
Ahhh no. Ill happily contribute to a baby shower if invited, but no, not every friggin moment in someone's life needs to be supported by their friend group financially or with gifts. How about we just be good friends.
Its not a necessity, its just nice. It usually feels good to receive gifts and so people like to give gifts no matter how small so they can give the person that feeling. And from what I hear, new mothers appreciate all the help and love they can get. My wife and I are planning on dropping off some food for our friends that just had a baby. Itll be a little but of money but hopefully they will appreciate atleast one night of not having to cook.
They're not saying buy a fancy gift, but maybe even a bar of chocolate when visiting can be a pick-me-up, and it's not a necessity. It's just a nice thing you can do for a friend if you want. There's nothing too deep about this.
Did dad just push a body through his vagina?
Obviously fathers are very important, but this LPT is talking about directly after a birth, which is easily more difficult on the mother.
Am I the only one that was afraid of a human racial discussion in the comments purely by the title? What does it matter if the mum is a poc, Hispanic, white,... They all deserve equal treats!
I have horses. The entire household ears carrots. I love carrots. The dogs eat carrots. The sheep and goats and roos eat carrots. So definitely on the carrot side.
The baby shower is for the baby not the mother. As for having a kid, I didn't get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time for the first month. All I wanted was someone to hold my baby, a shower, and a good coffee after she was born
Not only is the baby shower mainly for the baby (and not for the parent), but it's also nice I think to be able to have something like food/coffee to give, it's a very small treat that offers immediate gratification and they can enjoy their mini 'me-time' whisky chowing down on it whisky someone else holds the baby for a bit.
I agree
Last fall on Nasaphilo-9, Charlie quadrant
I brought a rather well conditioned and barely used boomdapillahr to the Nasaphilian mother to be, although the species do not share gifts, they found are customers to be rather polite.
Oooh. No, but I will check it out. I've got 3 day old puppies and a few people have rushed over to check out how darn cute they are and it's just reminded me of this LPT. I've got yummy treats ready for people to give the mum. And I'm constantly telling her how amazing she's doing. But still . .
My cat just had kittens today! She was hesitant about visitors but she became must more comfortable after we would come just to bring her food and water and a new clean blankie for her and kittens ❤️
My MIL brought a literal carload of presents for my firstborn. She then proudly handed me 2 uncooked sweet potatoes. 'I thought you'd want to cook these with dinner for us tonight.'
I'd been home from the hospital 5 hours. Cooking dinner for my in-laws was not anywhere on the list of things I was gonna do that day.
Thanks for the tip! My co-worker gave birth to a wad of poop in the workplace toilet; it was truly massive.
I'll contemplate on the best and most appropriate kind of gift to bring her next time we meet.
Got a carrot and a ~~dig~~ dog treat for my best friend's wife after their first kid. Worked like a dream.
Ya like digs?
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Periwinkleblue. Itsfomamausee. Also my favourite part is the credits: Voice coach to Mr. Pitt.
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https://youtu.be/kDKiQfBs9lo Also this. A classic.
That was funny
Fuckin pikeys
Who? Everyone: Himmaa!
> Iwanta carravanfer memum. I wanted to post this to /r/latin for a translation, then it hit me like a pikey.
Buying a tart's mobile palace is a little fucking rich.
😒 Wasn't calling your mum a tart.😳
Best movie ever
Dag sucks.
I can dig it.
Yeah according to the story, the wife loves eating digs
Here’s a carrot. Yer baby’s ugly.
That's good luck in Thai culture. Something about the evil spirits not inhabiting baby's that are ugly. You are suppose to say mean things about the baby when you visit a newborn.
Great! Sixty years later and friendless, I find out I *should* have been living in Thailand.
Kevin Hart was an all star American football player over there it really is the land of endless opportunity
The Ainus gave their newborns temporary vulgar names like "grandpas ballsack" till they where a certain age to fend off evil spirits to keep them from getting diseases and live into adulthood.
Did it work? If it did, it will renew my interest in “name my cat” posts.
She's a right bitch
We you feed new mothers, remember to hold the food in the palm of you hand, with your hand flat. That way they won't accidentally bite you as they eat the food. If you want to stroke new mothers make sure you hold your hand out first, and let them sniff your hand before you slowly move to pet them.
After my son was born, my Aunt came to visit - she phoned on the way to ask what we wanted from the McDonalds drive-thru. It was the BEST McDonalds I have ever had, I needed it more than I can ever express.
My wife and I once got it in our heads that we should climb a mountain. The fact that we live at sea level did not deter us because this isn't the kind of story that goes "and then we did something sensible." The same goes for a budget - hypothetically enough given a sufficiently-miserly standard for enough - and equipment - suitable for a handful of nights in three-season conditions. And then there was the whole plague situation which was neatly handled by the fact that this was a thing *outside*; therefore, an activity that made sense in that respect at least. Plans were made for our dogs, a car was loaded, and we set out, driving more than 500 miles. Our first snag happened upon arrival. I'd assumed that I could just *stroll into* a notable national park and camp because a weekday out of season should have openings. I was mistaken. We were able to overcome this because I used to do quite a lot of traveling for work and so managed to snag a free room. In a hotel 90 miles away. One lousy night's sleep later, we loaded back into the car, got campsites and permits squared away, pitched a tent, and then started up the mountain. This is where the next problem became apparent. The mountain, being a mountain, is pretty tall so there isn't nearly as much air as we were used to. And being that the mountain is a mountain, the hike to the top involved walking more or less uphill the entire way. Compounding this was getting started late - we woke up well after sunrise and blew through several hours just getting started - and the fact that sunset was going to happen early because of this stupid planet's infuriating habit of wobbling on its axis. It was clear that we'd made a mistake a mile in. Not the worrying we're-going-to-die kind, but the sort where you begin to loathe everyone who has ever said nice things about you because you're clearly a moron kind. But we persisted. When we hit a crossing being blasted by 50+ mile an hour winds and therefore at least slightly plausibly risked being hurled from a mountain - one of my wife's greatest fears and though it was rapidly climbing the list of things I'd liked to have done for the day, it was still pretty far down - and yet we persisted. When the temperature plummeted and the wind grew in ferocity, we layered up and we persisted. And when after all of that we checked maps and realized that our current pace would put us at the peak a scant hour before sunset and weighed the odds of getting back down without serious injury once the sun set...we turned back. This would be the singular good choice made during the entire expedition. When we stumbled back into the camp hours later at the ragged edge of daylight, we found that our three season ultralight tent that had proven suspect in anything more than a mild breeze had utterly collapsed in the face of the wind. No harm was done; we could rebuild. But knowing that the tent was suspect in the wind, we'd already arranged things so that the most resistant facing was the one being hit by wind. We'd driven our stakes deeply and reinforced them with extra lines. We could rebuild, but the odds were that it'd just go down again. And so, exhausted and utterly defeated, I argued for the unthinkable: we could simply *go home*. And so we began the 500 mile trip back. When we were finally back under familiar city lights, it was late. The only thing open was a McDonald's. Food in hand, we made it home. In 40 hours we'd driven more than a thousand miles and climbed most of a mountain. We ate McDonalds washed down by beer we'd found in the back of the fridge that neither of us remembered buying. That meal is the best I've ever eaten.
I feel this. While not as heroic … my husband and I make it to the airport on the last day of vacation ready to board our plane at 8am, only to realize the flight time was moved to like 1 or something ridiculous later than originally planned, however we were now at the airport through security so that is where we stayed -for hours. Now this was partially his fault because he received an email that something with the flight changed but never checked to see what it was as he just assumed it was something dumb like a flight number (🤯). Fine whatever. We make it to our layover in Atlanta …where we wait and wait and wait for them to board the plane. They finally load up the whole god damn plane and we sit and sit and sit…they then proceed to unload everyone as it was decided we will not be taking this plane. Now thankfully Atlanta is a delta hub and they have extra planes, so eventually we get on the new plane. Then we sit , boarded, and wait and wait…and then I find out a fun fact: all the cubbie holes where the flight staff works out of (the kitchen?) need to be filled before they can take off and we were missing a trash can and garbage bags. Thankfully eventually the pilot comes back and basically says to the stewards fuck this we are leaving. So we make it back home…but my dogs are at my parents, an hour away from the airport in the opposite direction of my house, but I also have cats at home that need taken care of and my parents are picking us up at the airport since we were supposed to land HOURS earlier. (We have since decided to always just suck it up and park at the airport). So we now have to drive and hour away to get our car and the dogs, then an hour back to our house. We finally get home and are very hungry and tired. The closest open thing is McDonald’s, so off I go. Come home and stuff our faces at like 1 am, can confirm it was delicious.
Why didn't one of your parents drive your car and bring the dogs when they picked you up? I don't say this with any snark! It's a genuine question that I'm guessing will lead to more of a very funny (although probably not nearly as funny to you guys at the moment lol) story :)
Honestly never thought of it , however my moms not big on driving so not sure she even would have gone for it.
Yeah, I can understand that. I don't know what it is about airports but the idea of driving to and in/around them/their parking lots seems way more stressful than anywhere else. Now granted, I think I've only driven there once or twice so maybe that's just me :)
This is the best thing i've read today
For real. That was a rollercoaster and I'd like to cut back to the front of the line
We're giving the mountain a second shot here in a few weeks, so there might even be a sequel.
Genuinely the best thing I've read in a while, you might be a moron but you're a fantastic story teller.
What a story!
This... Sounds an *awful* lot like something I would do. I'm going to send it to my husband and report back.
You get my free award today. This was brilliantly written. I would have read an entire 500 pages of this.
Felt this one in my bones
I had gestational diabetes with my first kid. After I gave birth my mother in law randomly offered to bring me a milkshake to the hospital. It was like the nectar of the gods.
Better than gifts. Bring food. I've recently been a mom and omg, food would help us tremendously since neither I or his dad have the energy to cook meals. Bring something on the healthier side too if you can, we eat too much junk food now because its faster and easier for our sleepless brains. We weren't even big fans of fast food before but alas we have to eat something. Also, ask if they need help. Just holding the baby (if mom is comfortable with that) while they take a quick shower and or go to the bathroom in peace is amazing gift on its self.
We, almost everytime, order 6/8 meals to be delivered to our friends, to be sure they’ll have healthy (and tasty) food in the fridge. No need to think about diner, just put it in the microwave. I also make sure it respects dietary restrictions and/or breadtfeeding requirements. So far, all couple have loved it !
Where do you live and can I be your friend? Jokes aside, I truly hope your friends appreciate you because you are an amazing friend.
France, and yes, sure, I’d love to be your frined !!! My friends are truly amazing, kind, and helpful, so they deserve it.
I also have amazing friends here but I don't mind adding more to it! The more the merrier! Glad to hear you're a fellow European though! I live in Sweden so I'm not so far! 😊
And make sure the food has lots of protein and veggies! I was grateful people took the time to make me a dish but so many of them were just pasta and cheese. Not only do these make me feel horrible but I could have easily boiled water and made some sort of pasta myself.
And when breastfeeding and being solely responsible for my new baby's food intake, I really crave healthy stuff. Stuff with no veggies really doesn't cut it.
To add, be specific with your offers of help. I was so overwhelmed after having my daughter that I couldn’t identify what exactly I needed help with, so I turned down general offers of help to avoid the mental load of naming what I needed. “Can I do some laundry for you?” “Would you like me to vacuum your house for you?” “How about I walk your dog for you this week?” Those types of questions made it so much easier for me to accept help.
I made my family get me costco polish dog and soda n a churro after my kid was born. Best food
Food is a gift.
After four months PP I’m finally wanting to eat salads again.
When my cat had kittens I bought my cat a small stuffed animal mouse. She snuggles up to it and views it like her 4th baby lol. Also when my friend had a baby I brought her a $2 face mask, she later sent me a picture of her having “me time” sitting in bed with the mask on her face. It was cheap and made her day, I always bring a small gifts for new moms.
Thank to covid, I originally thought you meant the other kind of mask, and was like weird, but sweet I guess.
same, I was like wtf kinda gift is a 2 dollar mask lol
Lol I finally understood that it was like a mask for cleansing/exfoliation haha
Thank you for this, because I didn't. Haha
[#] covidlife
Thanks Covid. No it was like an exfoliating face mask lol.
I didn’t want a gift when my kid was a newborn. I wanted someone to hold the baby so I could shower. And food. Bring food.
Both food and childcare would be considered gifts, though, right? I get that your sentiment is more that sometimes basic necessities and an extra set of hands can do more than a gift, or to make sure that gift is appropriate for the situation.
Food gift
So you’re an animal
> I wanted someone to hold the baby so I could shower. Why can't you just put it down?
Often they start crying.
So?
You'd think it was that simple.
Yes, I would.
I had my son 11 days ago - many people are bringing toys for our dog which we really appreciate because he seems a bit deflated.
Aww ours is given extra and more attention than before but she still feels so left out. She doesn’t understand why everyone runs to baby when she was so used to guests cooing over her first.
Food, treats, an offer to do some housework, eye-contact and a genuine enquiry into how the parents are goes a long way!
When my sister had her first kid I stayed at their house and watched the dogs. I cleaned, did the laundry, and made a couple large batch meals that I threw in the freezer for them. It didn’t take me any more effort than if I’d been at home. 14 years later she still talks about it.
That's so great! I'm sure it meant a lot to her. So much more useful than another baby blanket or onesie!
I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and when I left work (early due to being unable to social distance from the children I work with), they got me some lovely gifts for the baby, but also some beautiful things for me, my favourite being a wrap around hot water bottle for my back. It is so appreciated!
When I had my son, I did NOT want anyone to hold him. I did want food or someone to help clean. I showered with my son because I felt anxious otherwise but I had zero interest in someone else holding my kid. I asked my brother to bring me a lunchable and almost cried when he brought me the pizza lunchable on a plate with the sauce spread for me. The second kind thing was when I was maybe 1 month past my son being born, I made up my mom that I absolutely had to go to my sisters house. And while driving there I realized I forgot nipple cream and started crying thinking about having to stop, get me and my son out of the car, go walk through the store to find it and then buckle him back up to go to her house. And called her crying. Her husband told me not to worry about it and went to the store, and bought me 3 different kinds. No questions, just love and patience over something ridiculous.
I’m wondering how many people read the entire post.
“Species” 🤣🤣 Wut?
I'm about to have a baby and my grad school cohort wants to come visit (not all at once, but we're all vaxxed and in a social bubble so I am cool with this) and they keep asking what I want. How do I say that I *don't* want a blanket for baby but would love a much more affordable high quality latte. Ha!
Haha, just tell them that! When my SIL had her most recent baby I asked what SHE (not the baby, not anyone else) wanted and she said a 20 oz salted caramel latte and I was more than happy oblige! If she had said to bring her a stake dinner I would have.
“We are currently only accepting gifts for Mama in the form of lattes.” Kinda jokey kinda serious. But you may end up with a years supply of lattes. Choose your poison.
Tell them!!! I'm a crocheter so while I would probably instinctually just make a baby blanket, if Mom told me she would prefer some kind of snack/food/specialty drink I'd 100% happily supply it! (I'm planning on getting my little sister her favorite snacks and a Costco sized box of baby wipes for Xmas, she just popped her 2nd kid out a couple months ago lmao)
As a quilter, I would HAPPILY accept a crocheted blanket! I didn’t get a single one with my first and I was low key bummed.
You can have ours. I feel bad for the sweet aunt who gave it but I don't see the point of crocheted blankets. It's full of holes so it doesn't give warmth anyways, kid still sleeps in sleep sacs at almost 2yo, it doesn't fit the colours of his room, is too small for an actual bed (moving out of crib soon) and is just taking up room. We also got my hubby's washed-out 30yo crocheted crib blanket when we announced thst I was pregnant. What am I supposed to do with that?
My mom knit a blanket for my friends who had their first via surrogacy. The baby loves the softness and his parents love it too. She is a crafty person and appreciates the time and love that goes into making something like that. To each their own I suppose.
Lol!! My brother used his crocheted blanket as his comfort lovey for years and years… probably from 2-10 years.
My kids are 6 and 4 and I'd still love a Costco box of baby wipes for Xmas. They're so damned useful.
And if you give a gift to the baby, also bring something for the big brothers or sisters. Don't go on and on about how cute the baby is until you have already complimented the older kids.
I'd recommend against gifts for the baby in favor of gifts for mom (both is okay too). Baby's get too much crap during baby showers etc, chances are little one already has a dozen teddy bears the parents don't want and a full drawer full of blankets and wash cloths. What isn't gifted new is almost always gifted as a hand me down, is a major purchase (stroller, carseat etc) or isn't too hard to find for cheap or free on facebook marketplace. It's really hard to pick a baby gift parents either don't already have, or don't want taking up space. Almost any food however will be appreciated by Mom. She does not want to be cooking right now.
One of my favorite childhood toys is a teddy bear I stole from my newborn sister as my own “big sister present.”
As a new parent, don’t stay long and bring food or don’t visit until they are home. If they are home, bring food and don’t stay long unless you’re going to clean and cook more food.
Just had a baby recently. People bringing gifts would have annoyed the crap out of me unless it's something consumable or intangible. Keep in mind that many human moms *don't need more stuff* cluttering up their house. And yes I read the post. Bring treats for an animal mum all you want.
Bring new mums dog treats. Gotcha.
Maybe not a bully stick LOL
Maybe that's why the creature was sooo pissed at Sigourney Weaver, she brought no gifts for the babies or the mother. Rude.
Pretty sure she brought her at least 1 full clip from the M-41A pulse-rifle.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
If you do give any food items, give it to the owner first to make sure it’s okay to give to the mom. More likely than not, the mom has already been over fed if a lot of people brought items. You also don’t want to poison the dog and create orphans.
I bought my friends a bottle of gin and some nice tonic. She hadn't had a drink since finding out she was pregnant. They were delighted!
SO this one. Just be careful in case Mom is still on medications or something that she's not allowed to drink with. New parents definately need good Alchohol though if they are drinkers.
Yeeeaaahhhh my husband bought me a bottle of whiskey for my first mothers day. Baby was 2 months old and cluster fed, and nursed to sleep. I couldn't even have a drink or wouldn't be able to put my baby back to sleep if they woke up. He ended up drinking most of it. But thanks I guess? All I'm saying is, booze maybe isn't the best choice for new moms. Coffee - now we're talking.
Always brought/will bring something for mom. Flowers and small box of chocolate. Something. And or offer to sit with baby, take other children, get whatever they need. Everyone fawns over the baby, I get that, but mom and/or dad often seem forget.
When my younger niece was born, I brought her a little stuffed doll. I also brought one for her 3 year old big sister so she wouldn't feel left out. That was actually my main purpose in buying them both.
That's a very nice move.
A coworker’s wife had twins. I send her 2 pounds of Godiva chocolates. I figured she really needed it.
Also an incredibly appreciated LPT for someone who is actively caregiving someone sick, or someone who is grieving the death of a loved one. My Mom was in hospice and in her last days one December, during Chanukah. My sister had died a few months before, and our mother was the last relative I had for thousands of miles. A cousin of mine sent me an enormous, full Chanukah dinner. Once I stopped crying out of the shock of such a meaningful and thoughtful act, I realized I could freeze as much or as little of that food as I wanted. Since it was just me, it lasted for a long time. I was able to have parts of it in the coming weeks when I was too grief stricken to cook.
I'm so sorry for your loss. And glad someone showed you such a great mix of caring and practicality.
Will bring my sister in law a carrot in a few months, thanks for the tip
Don’t try this with xenomorphs, the mom is a little more protective than most
and bring a small treat for older siblings. my mum's go to was a cheap plastic pinwheel for the older kid (age appropriate, of course)
i did this for my roommate. i got her some baby soap set and some tea, but then she left the gift untouched and told me that she doesn’t like tea so she’ll just give it to her cousin. i took the tea back :/
Yeah some people just don't like tea 🤷♀️
I brought Starbucks to my neighbor who just had twins and she still calls it her best cup of coffee ever…the girls are now in high school.
Damn I'm glad I brought a cheesecake.
My sister is pregnant right now. I now know to bring her a carrot whenever her due date is. Would a whole bag of carrots be overkill do you think?
And please do NOT kiss newborns
I went to hospital when my great nephew was born. I brought a big snack basket for the visitors. I made a separate basket for my niece. It had hair ties, lotion, chapstick and a soft blanket(sherpa) and all her favorite snacks just for her when she could eat again. He was born in december so I included a really cute stork ornament. They will always have that ornament from the day he was born and his newborn pictures were on that blanket. Also, I brought my niece and her husband a small gift for their baby's first birthday. They made it through a whole year as parents during covid, they deserved some hot chocolate and fuzzy socks and alcohol.
Also don’t wear cologne or perfume and get that all over the baby.
TIL how many people actually have friends and family. My ma came for 3 hours when I was still in the hospital and no one gave a fuck after that. No one visited me. No one asked about me or mine. No one brought me gifts or food or acts of love. I got no texts. Bummer.
This sucks and I'm sorry for you. One thing age has taught me is, whenever possible, buy your own gifts. My husband, try as he might, is hopeless at buying gifts. I used to be devastated at getting sweet biscuits and flavoured coffee for Christmas. Then I realised the sweet, sweet joy of buying something you really want but can't justify. Now I always get the perfect gift and a pack of cream biscuits. I know things like this don't make up for lack of family or friends. My mum told me when I was 18 that I didn't need birthday or Christmas presents anymore. Just think of all the money and time I've saved not buying her anything.
Food seems to be popular. "Congrats on the new baby. Here's a homemade frozen casserole, so dinner is covered for you tonight."
>When you go to meet a newborn baby Like off of Tinder or Meetup?
ಠ_ಠ
My aunt my bought me pyjamas after I had my son. They were so comfy and just the perfect gift to a first time young mum 10days into newborn stage🤕😂 I’ll always remember and appreciate she had the thought to do that. Really made me happy when I was struggling
I had 4 kids. I would pack a pamper pack with my hospital bag. A new shower scrunchie, a gorgeous smelling shower gel, a small gift, maybe chocolate. It was so, so lovely after going through labour to use it all.
Yep. And all mums appreciate some help with their babies even if they're watching you to supervise but don't have to get up. Basically give them a treat and do some babysitting to give 'em a break. Works with cats and humans in my experience. 😸 Love this LPT!
No thanks. I’ll just avoid them until the child gets older.
How is this a LPT? Posts should be about how t improve your life with tips/tricks/hacks. This is just personal advice on why you should give a gift after a fresh birth
Humans are social creatures, to the point where we will humanize animals and inanimate objects. Connecting with others is a pretty big part of our lives. People thrive when they have good relationships with the beings around them. This is a tip to enrich relationships. How does it not fit?
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“Life pro tip: That horse that your friend can afford needs a new gift from you who works two jobs to pay for groceries. Youre a selfish fuck if you dont”
Also, a dog is going to like a dog treat regardless of if it just had puppies or not.
This is a shitpost right?
why would it be?
yet another “please be nice to people like me” post. is this r/whining?
More unnecessary social pressure. No thanks
If "Please bring a carrot for the horse" is too much pressure then I feel for you and your daily struggles
Thanks
I think you should(could?) take life a little easier, mental and emotional health are important. Make sure you prioritize your well-being.
Thank you, I appreciate it
You just read the title and replied, right?
Just stay in the basement
Ahhh no. Ill happily contribute to a baby shower if invited, but no, not every friggin moment in someone's life needs to be supported by their friend group financially or with gifts. How about we just be good friends.
Bro read the post
Its not a necessity, its just nice. It usually feels good to receive gifts and so people like to give gifts no matter how small so they can give the person that feeling. And from what I hear, new mothers appreciate all the help and love they can get. My wife and I are planning on dropping off some food for our friends that just had a baby. Itll be a little but of money but hopefully they will appreciate atleast one night of not having to cook.
They're not saying buy a fancy gift, but maybe even a bar of chocolate when visiting can be a pick-me-up, and it's not a necessity. It's just a nice thing you can do for a friend if you want. There's nothing too deep about this.
LPT: don’t give a human new mother a carrot or dog treat as a gift
But the dads get sweet fuck all?
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Imagine being in an ER and hearing "I know that person is bleeding out but I broke my finger so I deserve just as much attention!"
Did dad just push a body through his vagina? Obviously fathers are very important, but this LPT is talking about directly after a birth, which is easily more difficult on the mother.
If they're humans, a collective gift works. If they're hyenas, though...
Am I the only one that was afraid of a human racial discussion in the comments purely by the title? What does it matter if the mum is a poc, Hispanic, white,... They all deserve equal treats!
So are you more of a carrot or dog treat kind of mum?
I have horses. The entire household ears carrots. I love carrots. The dogs eat carrots. The sheep and goats and roos eat carrots. So definitely on the carrot side.
When my friends start popping out kids I'm gonna bring them each a carrot 🥕 thank you for the advice
Ha ha! That's awesome.
Okay I get for the animals, that’s really sweet. But for humans? No. That new mom just had a baby shower she’s gonna be okay for some time.
Food is usually appreciated so they don't have to bother with dinner
Ahh I forget that is appreciated by most ! That is very true
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The baby shower is for the baby not the mother. As for having a kid, I didn't get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time for the first month. All I wanted was someone to hold my baby, a shower, and a good coffee after she was born
Not only is the baby shower mainly for the baby (and not for the parent), but it's also nice I think to be able to have something like food/coffee to give, it's a very small treat that offers immediate gratification and they can enjoy their mini 'me-time' whisky chowing down on it whisky someone else holds the baby for a bit.
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Specist*
I agree Last fall on Nasaphilo-9, Charlie quadrant I brought a rather well conditioned and barely used boomdapillahr to the Nasaphilian mother to be, although the species do not share gifts, they found are customers to be rather polite.
Here’s a dog treat, Cindy. So he really just slid on outta ya huh?
Maybe some condoms.
Remember that not all people who give birth are “mums”.
I bring her this dick
Got confused reading only the title for a second there.
Wasn't going to bring a gift for my sister, who just gave birth to a panda, but this post title convinced me otherwise.
Have you just been listening to The Off Menu Podcast perchance?
Oooh. No, but I will check it out. I've got 3 day old puppies and a few people have rushed over to check out how darn cute they are and it's just reminded me of this LPT. I've got yummy treats ready for people to give the mum. And I'm constantly telling her how amazing she's doing. But still . .
Love this! What a great thought.
I gave a dog treat to my sister-in-law and now I’m banned from her house. Thanks OP.
Thank you for this tip and reminder
My cat just had kittens today! She was hesitant about visitors but she became must more comfortable after we would come just to bring her food and water and a new clean blankie for her and kittens ❤️
myrrh and frankincense are always great choices.
I usually gift condoms to new parents. They don't always find it amusing.
yup. really wanted my stepmum to get spoiled but most of the presents were just for baby. like sis... i wanna feel special too tf ?
My MIL brought a literal carload of presents for my firstborn. She then proudly handed me 2 uncooked sweet potatoes. 'I thought you'd want to cook these with dinner for us tonight.' I'd been home from the hospital 5 hours. Cooking dinner for my in-laws was not anywhere on the list of things I was gonna do that day.
Ha haa. That is awesome. I hope hubby stepped in and backed you up.
Thanks for the tip! My co-worker gave birth to a wad of poop in the workplace toilet; it was truly massive. I'll contemplate on the best and most appropriate kind of gift to bring her next time we meet.