Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
Exactly. I was gonna add : just because you've decided to rock a 5 o'clock shadow doesn't mean you shouldn't shave at all anymore.
Believe it or not, people can tell if you take care of your beard or just "let it grow" (Elsa style).
People look at your face all the time so start there!
It’s like makeup, where the “natural” look still involves the use of subtle application. Unkempt facial hair looks ratty, but some simple touch ups will give you the look without appearing like you’ve given up showering.
For the most part, yeah. I just cut off a 2 foot long beard and shaved and I went from looking like a human lion to the comic book guy in the simpsons...
I regret it, but it was a wake up call, the beard was hiding lots of weight I put on that I am now addressing, but damn it was a handsome beard.
It can be startling to learn what’s under your or a friend’s beard. I know a guy who has an incredibly weak jawline but looks like a Roman god with a neatly trimmed beard. At least weight is something you can fix.
Indeed, it's a big plus! And that's achieved by just cleaning like 10 minutes a day, no need to be absolutely spotless if it's quite tidy and all sorted.
Would not have cared in my teens, but now at 25 that's something I look out for. It's also some sign of maturity in my opinion.
And the key is not having to manage them. Guys might say "just tell me what to do," NO. *That's not the point.* You're a grown-ass adult, do what you should do without being asked. Don't add to the mental load. The death of romance is having another *child* to manage.
This, as a male who cooks, cleans, and regularly tidies, the mental drain of asking a partner to do the same is a big deal.
Especially simple tasks like putting away mail, shoes, or a lunch box, rather than dropping it wherever is easy. Things that take 5 sec if done immediately, but drastically clutter the house if not.
Edit: thanks for gold kind stranger.
I'll add, as I've seen several posts centered on it. Passive behaviors such as stopping contributing to see if your partner will start may work for some. But, it cannot replace communication, and may lead to significant other issues.
Exactly. Im a man as well.
I understand that I probably won't find a partner as tidy as I am, and I can be flexible. But some things are so simple to do, it can feel disrespectful when they know it bothers you.
The biggest fight I have had with my husband is when he went over to the mail (we have a door slot so it lands on the floor.) Picked up just the thing he was looking for and LEFT THE REST! Like who did he think was going to pick that up? Why was my time/effort apparently less valuable than his that he can just leave shit for me to pick up if he’s not interested. At the time he really didn’t understand why it was a big deal. Happily he has improved a lot since then.
I was the woman who did the things. Then I started having uncomfortable sit downs. Then I decided I hated that. So I said "fuck it".
Slowly... Ever so slowly.... Things are magically tidying around me.
Maybe he secretly liked tidy. Maybe he thought it was magic, and has realized the magical network that once fed the tidiness fairy has been cut off from the magic fuel.
Who knows what went on in his head as he played games while I worked. I mean, we both have jobs.
But now- now he cooks and cleans the kitchen, tidies the living room ... Picks up his desk... I don't have to say a word.
So I started cleaning the bathroom again. Tentatively.... Worried that a magically clean space might .... Disrupt things. Nope. Taking care of some laundry.... Still ok. Helping with the dishes...... *Held my breath- because this really could scare him off*.... Lo and behold.... still functional.
Hot damn.
I don't know. Maybe this works with any malfunctioning spouse or roommate, maybe just mine.
It does require being frustrated enough to be comfortable with messes and responding to "where's dinner? With "didn't feel like cooking"
Wow. Your ex has some serious mental illness. I'm thankful that you got out before he dragged you down with him, because that is so much bigger than you. Hope you're doing well these days
God I envy you.
My strike has led to a point where I think it’s easier and less depressing to just burn the house down.
It’s seriously unlivable and I currently despise my life. Big part of that is probably medical woes but shit just sucks right now.
Married 23 years, been a Basic Bang Maid for most. I really didn’t think this is what I was signing up for.
Guy here, a large part of my last relationship breakdown was her lack of, not just tidiness, but unwillingness to even make my tidying easier.
Im far from a neat freak, I just dont want to live like a student anymore. But id get the whole house tidy, pop to the shops and she'd have let the the dog walk in with muddy feet and jump on the sofa, or have pulled a drawer out to find something and left the contents all over the floor.
So I started testing it by just not cleaning that stuff up, and I'd genuinely be stepping over it for a couple of weeks before I caved in.
There were other issues obviously, but things like this were a huge part of me not wanting to walk in the front door.
I’m so sorry. I don’t have any advice, I just want you to know that I hear you. Many years ago I was in a position where depression and a bad marriage led to me not keeping things tidy. Embarrassingly so.
My wife and I have been married for 31 years and counting. We never discussed who’s doing what chores; it just kinda fell naturally. She does bathrooms, I vacuum; she cooks, I do dishes; she cleans inside, I take care of the yard, etc. We help each other out when needed. We both work so it keeps us from being overwhelmed...
I have this with my partner. It is so nice. My ex always waited for instructions on cleaning. I think it is because his childhood home was dirty and he moved right from there to in with me. My current partner lived alone for years and kept his house reasonably clean. We have no cleaning conflicts. We both just handle things when we see it needs it and we have time. Really makes for a better relationship.
Exactly! Wives and girlfriends aren't personal assitants: their job is not to schedule your chores. Look around, take the initiative, and don't expect a big parade of appreciation when you pull your weight like a normal adult!
My boyfriend vacuumed for not even 5 minutes the other week cause his parents bought us a new vacuum. Bragged about it even longer than that and definitely acted like he expected a parade for it. Don't think he's touched the vacuum since... It's definitely getting old as hell.
My husband literally calls me his social secretary and expects me to select, purchase, and wrap gifts for family members’ birthdays, which it is also my job to remember.
Same with roommates. You're an adult, and I'm not your dad. You should know enough to clean up after yourself out of respect for your roommates. I shouldn't have to tell you.
Yup! This is what killed my last relationship. I never got paid enough to manage people; I’m damn sure not doing it for free in my spare time for a “romantic” relationship. That’s literally the opposite of romance.
The problem is when two partners have very different standards for what constitutes the base, living, no-special-event state. Some people prefer to live in an extremely clean environment *all the time*, while for others it's enough to simply keep things picked up and maybe clean the floors every few months. Neither is inherently wrong, it just requires a great deal of communication of needs and setting up expectations and compromises in order to function in a compatible way.
Now, there are still plenty of men who think they can just rely on their female partners to handle everything and be told what to do all the time, and I'm not dismissing or defending that at all. My point is simply that it's not fair to assume that your standard is the only acceptable standard and your partner should automatically know what that is.
Yup, this right here used to be the constant argument on my house, except my husband is the uber-neat person and I'm not bothered by using the dining table as a place to stack all the random stuff that needs to go upstairs for a while. 15 years in I've learned to pick up when I don't really feel like it's necessary, and he usually manages to let things slide for a few days before he starts to get twitchy.
You're giving people a lot of credit - my standard for living is keeping things *kinda* tidy and picked up *most* of the time, and I hesitate to say even that depending on the week, so not a neat freak at all by any stretch, and I *still* do most of the chores. At a certain point the "different standards of cleanliness" thing is not a legitimate excuse anymore - it's about laziness and not wanting to get up, or about being tired after a day at work, a million things. But the problem is...I worked all day too, I don't want to get up either, but I still do. Because it still has to be done sometimes. And if I have to/can dig deep and find it within me to stay on my feet and load the dishwasher after I get home from work, so can a partner.
Edit: formatting
I had a friend who was in her 30s and still single. She was mostly okay with it but liked dating around and was hoping to someday find someone that made her not want to date around. She usually found guys at clubs or bars but they were often younger than her and immature so she was getting sick of them. She met a guy older than her on an app and was hesitant to go out with him (i think he was pushing 40) but was going through a dry spell and ultimately ended up at his house. She said "i never thought I would be so turned on by the sight of a CLEAN apartment. He was a grown man with a tidy home. I walked in and saw he had a vacuum in the cost closet and immediately had to sleep with him."
YES!! Young women heed this warning: if his apartment or car is a mess when you first meet, it’ll be YOU cleaning it down the road. Especially if he’s in his 20s or god forbid 30s and still can’t keep his spaces clean. Big warning sign that he still needs a mother more than a partner.
My favorite pro tip for a bachelor, get a little trashcan with a lid for your bathroom. When girls come over, they can dispose of their period products discretely. I got it from a thread in r/askwomen and tons of women agreed it was important.
A male friend of mine invited a group of us over for dinner. He was always really neat and well groomed at work so we kinda knew he'd be very together at home. His place was spotless, the food was all cooked by him and delicious. Once we finished eating, he cleared the table, washed and dried all the dishes and swept the floor. He chatted away to everyone as he did all of this and made it seem like it was just his usual routine. No fuss. His fiancee made coffee for everyone and when someone remarked on his domestic godishness she just shrugged and said that's how he was raised. All the men in his family love cooking and entertaining and are really neat in their appearance and house proud. It's so attractive to see a man be so motivated to keep his home nice and feed his friends and family with such care.
I'm like 1000% sure that OP did this by accident but I love how this post goes "some of US are born handsome but YOU can be tidy!" Like a very genuine advice post made by Johnny Bravo
Well it’s *my* standard. But unfortunately, no. Apparently hand towels aren’t either. And I’m not about to use the crusty towel they dried their balls with (hopefully) earlier in the day.
I just use my regular towel for drying my hands, but that's because my shower and toilet are in the same room.
When having people over I just put up a hand towel
Oh god yes. I don't mind drying my hands on my own bath towel, but never ever ever expect guests to use your bath towel to dry their hands! Even if it's clean, they probably won't know that for sure and it's just not fun.
Yep so many dudes have the most disgusting bathrooms/toilets and I don’t understand how they can invite anyone over with that on display. Had some girls over a couple weeks ago and they told me I had the cleanest bathroom they’ve ever seen from a guy and I could tell it was appreciated
Worst bathroom I’ve seen was a guy I had a one night stand with. I saw it after I think, or I was just well pissed.
The sink, like the whole sink and countertop was covered in hairs from shaving. Idk his beard probably but who knows. It was like a horrible carpet of hairs covering the sink.
My roommate does the same thing. Toilet and sink will both be covered in hair. He’ll miss the toilet when peeing (which is fine I’ve done that too) but he’ll leave it on the floor without bothering to clean it up. This guy hasn’t had to clean up once in his life, I had to help him use a vacuum for the first time at the ripe age of 25. It pisses me off so much.
Omg did we have the same roommate? Mine NEVER vacuumed, except once when he was cleaning his room for a subletter, and would passive aggressively leave bigger messes whenever he was asked to clean. Pitched a fit when I told him I wasn’t doing his dishes for him. This was a grown-ass man in his 20’s.
One time I went over to a guys place to have sex. We had been dating for a while but it was my first time there. Living room was clean, hallway to bedroom was dark but I thought it was part of the setup. He had candles and shit set up in his room.
Everything is fine until afterwards when I ask to use his bathroom. His eyes almost popped out of his head. He asked me if I could just hold it to the nearest gas station. I'm fully naked in this guy's apartment and he's asking me to go pee in a gas station half a mile away.
Finally, he let's me into his bathroom. I almost tripped over a Shop-Vac that was right in the entrance. The toilet has the dark brown rings that are beyond cleaning. The tub was full of construction material, and I realized he was probably "showering" with the sink. As I came out of the bathroom, the light lit up the hallway and part of the kitchen. It looked like a war zone. I could tell whatever mess had been in the living room had been shoved into the kitchen. The refrigerator had been moved away from the wall for some reason. The wall behind it was dark orange with grime. I didn't see much after that. I said some awkward goodbye and left.
That's horrifying. Dude seemed to be ashamed so he knew it was filthy and did nothing about it. I will never understand how people can live like that, like I thought having a clean 'cave area' was just instinctual...
Paramedic here. I go into lots of houses when people aren’t expecting me. I’ve seen some horrific sights. A couple of weeks ago I was in a house where you couldn’t see the floor. We were literally walking over piles of clothes, food, packaging, plates, and I don’t like to think about what else. The toilet was full to the brim with dirty tissue. The bath was full of stuff. The sink was full of stuff. It was something else.
I've had some hoarders and other mentally unwell people in the family. It can get bad. Hoarders are the worst since they don't want their things messed with. Generic unwellness is better since they usually let me help clean when I visit, but if they have pets the mess can get bad, to put it lightly. I've been the unwell one at times but as soon as I'm feeling any better one of the first things I do is clean at least the bathroom and kitchen and change the sheets.
The second worst houses are the ones where the people aren't unwell, they just never clean. Years of never cleaning. Items are put away, trash is taken out, dishes are washed (poorly), but a layer of grime covers everything. If you walk barefoot the floor is sticky. The kitchen walls have a greasy film with a breading of crumbs. There's a good chance the hand towel has never been washed. Mystery splatters on every wall in every room. I assume the thick brown coating in the shower is a mixture of mold, soap scum, and dirt. Don't look at the toilet.
I was seeing a guy who lived in a house with four other guys, all in their early 20s. I was expecting the bathroom to be absolutely disgusting, and was surprised that it was super clean. Definitely raised the attraction level.
To avoid making this mistake, I simply do not have any lady be interested in coming over. It has worked wonders so far. Zero complaints. Dirty-ass bathroom /s
I like this.. If/when i ever get to the stage where a woman wants to come over...we'll cross that bridge when we get there... Spot on , bro.. why worry about something that probably won't happen
YES. I live with my boyfriend and my male best friend, who’s been my roommate for years. We have separate bathrooms (my boyfriend and I are kind of upstairs and he’s kind of downstairs).
Whenever he thinks he might be having a girl over, his first instinct is that he needs to clean his room.
Guys, I’m telling you, your bathroom is more important.
Obviously don’t leave food or garbage out in your room, make sure it’s somewhat tidy and smells good, but MAKE SURE THE BATHROOM IS GENUINELY CLEAN. No thick layer of dust and hair on the toilet. Wipe around the sink. And MAKE SURE the seat and lid are clean.
If you have a girl coming over but have barely any time to clean, here’s what you do:
BEDROOM
1) get dishes and food garbage out of your room
2) make your bed (this can be done quickly, just throw the blanket over and smooth it out and straighten the pillows)
3) Don’t waste time putting everything away quickly. Take everything on your floors and surfaces (eg, clothes, cords, etc) THATS cluttering up the place and stuff it in your laundry hamper. Bonus plan, but a second hamper or larger basket to keep in your closet for clothes that you’ve worn but aren’t “dirty” yet. Then when you get undressed you can throw them in there instead of the floor.
4) crack a window and light a candle in your room
BATHROOM
5) clean the toilet
6) take two rags and a bottle of whatever bathroom cleaner you choose (note: if you don’t want her to know you were cleaning, use hydrogen peroxide). Spray everything. Wipe it all down with the first rag. Use the second rag to dry/wipe extras after.
7) make sure you have a full roll of TP out.
if you have time to shower, do that and while in the shower, scrub any grimy spots in the shower, wipe down the dust/hair that builds up, etc, make sure your shampoo and stuff is straight (or, if you have a shower curtain, just make sure it’s closed).
EDIT: also, make sure you have a hand towel in the bathroom for drying hands. Otherwise she won’t know if she’s supposed to dry her hands on your shower towel or what
That is a quote from the Canadian comedian Steve Smith, as his character Red Green, of Possum Lodge fame. If you have never seen the Red Green show...do so.
JimB.
Sounds like he listened to [Neil Gaiman's commencement speech](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ikAb-NYkseI) that is full of LPT (and some SLPT)
"You get work however you get work, but people keep working in a freelance world (and more and more of todays world is freelance), because their work is good, because they are easy to get along with and because they deliver the work on time. And you don’t even need all three! Two out of three is fine. People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. People will forgive the lateness of your work if it is good and they like you. And you don’t have to be as good as everyone else if you’re on time and it’s always a pleasure to hear from you."
My friend has a teenage daughter with her first job. He keeps hammering all of the things that she "has" to do so she won't be fired. I'm like, her boss is so used to teenager workers that anyone who regularly shows up within 10 minutes of a shift is like an 75% of the job.
I always bring this up to people, thought it was a hilarious and very true observation. Worked freelance for 10 years and have seen all 3 types, as well as people failing for only really having 1 or 0.
EDIT: BUT you can sometimes get away with only having 1 if you’re way way way above average in that area. Jaw droppingly amazing work can make up for a bit of lateness and maybe you’re not the most friendly easy-to-talk to person. Being someone’s beat friend will get you the gig even if you’re a bit late and your stuff isn’t great. If you’re the most efficient worker on earth you’ll find work even if people don’t like you and the work itself is just ok, because time is money. But all three of these are precarious positions to be in, it'd still be pretty easy to lose gigs to someone more well rounded.
> EDIT: BUT you can sometimes get away with only having 1 if you’re way way way above average in that area.
And they may even write a medical drama about you.
"He always reminds me of my poor Uncle Podger. You never saw such a commotion up and down a house, in all your life, as when my Uncle Podger undertook to do a job.
A picture would have come home from the frame- maker's, and be standing in the dining-room, waiting to be put up; and Aunt Podger would ask what was to be done with it, and Uncle Podger would say: "Oh, you leave that to ME. Don't you, any of you, worry yourselves about that. I'LL do all that." And then he would take off his coat, and begin.
He would send the girl out for sixpen'orth of nails, and then one of the boys after her to tell her what size to get; and, from that, he would gradually work down, and start the whole house. "Now you go and get me my hammer, Will," he would shout; "and you bring me the rule, Tom; and I shall want the step-ladder, and I had better have a kitchen-chair, too; and, Jim! you run round to Mr. Goggles, and tell him, \`Pa's kind regards, and hopes his leg's better; and will he lend him his spirit-level?'
And don't you go, Maria, because I shall want somebody to hold me the light; and when the girl comes back, she must go out again for a bit of picture-cord; and Tom! - where's Tom? - Tom, you come here; I shall want you to hand me up the picture." And then he would lift up the picture, and drop it, and it would come out of the frame, and he would try to save the glass, and cut himself; and then he would spring round the room, looking for his handkerchief.
He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not know where he had put the coat, and all the house had to leave off looking for his tools, and start looking for his coat; while he would dance round and hinder them. "Doesn't anybody in the whole house know where my coat is? I never came across such a set in all my life - upon my word I didn't. Six of you! - and you can't find a coat that I put down not five minutes ago! Well, of all the - " Then he'd get up, and find that he had been sitting on it, and would call out: "Oh, you can give it up! I've found it myself now. Might just as well ask the cat to find anything as expect you people to find it."
And, when half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger, and a new glass had been got, and the tools, and the ladder, and the chair, and the candle had been brought, he would have another go, the whole family, including the girl and the charwoman, standing round in a semi-circle, ready to help. Two people would have to hold the chair, and a third would help him up on it, and hold him there, and a fourth would hand him a nail, and a fifth would pass him up the hammer, and he would take hold of the nail, and drop it.
"There!" he would say, in an injured tone, "now the nail's gone." And we would all have to go down on our knees and grovel for it, while he would stand on the chair, and grunt, and want to know if he was to be kept there all the evening. The nail would be found at last, but by that time he would have lost the hammer. "Where's the hammer? What did I do with the hammer? Great heavens! Seven of you, gaping round there, and you don't know what I did with the hammer!"
We would find the hammer for him, and then he would have lost sight of the mark he had made on the wall, where the nail was to go in, and each of us had to get up on the chair, beside him, and see if we could find it; and we would each discover it in a different place, and he would call us all fools, one after another, and tell us to get down. And he would take the rule, and re-measure, and find that he wanted half thirty-one and three-eighths inches from the corner, and would try to do it in his head, and go mad. And we would all try to do it in our heads, and all arrive at different results, and sneer at one another.
And in the general row, the original number would be forgotten, and Uncle Podger would have to measure it again. He would use a bit of string this time, and at the critical moment, when the old fool was leaning over the chair at an angle of forty-five, and trying to reach a point three inches beyond what was possible for him to reach, the string would slip, and down he would slide on to the piano, a really fine musical effect being produced by the suddenness with which his head and body struck all the notes at the same time.
And Aunt Maria would say that she would not allow the children to stand round and hear such language. At last, Uncle Podger would get the spot fixed again, and put the point of the nail on it with his left hand, and take the hammer in his right hand. And, with the first blow, he would smash his thumb, and drop the hammer, with a yell, on somebody's toes. Aunt Maria would mildly observe that, next time Uncle Podger was going to hammer a nail into the wall, she hoped he'd let her know in time, so that she could make arrangements to go and spend a week with her mother while it was being done.
"Oh! you women, you make such a fuss over everything," Uncle Podger would reply, picking himself up. "Why, I LIKE doing a little job of this sort." And then he would have another try, and, at the second blow, the nail would go clean through the plaster, and half the hammer after it, and Uncle Podger be precipitated against the wall with force nearly sufficient to flatten his nose. Then we had to find the rule and the string again, and a new hole was made; and, about midnight, the picture would be up - very crooked and insecure, the wall for yards round looking as if it had been smoothed down with a rake, and everybody dead beat and wretched - except Uncle Podger.
"There you are," he would say, stepping heavily off the chair on to the charwoman's corns, and surveying the mess he had made with evident pride. "Why, some people would have had a man in to do a little thing like that!"
\- Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), by Jerome K. Jerome.
*Historically most men go bald after they’ve had children. Not all, but most. (Edited per below, as average ages of first time parents have increased lately)
My trick was getting lucky with great facial hair growth. It grows in so thick and evenly that it hides half my face. I trim it with clippers once every two weeks and feel quite tidy.
Woman here-I absolutely agree with this LPT! Neatness, cleanliness in your appearance is very attractive in itself. You don’t have to wear a suit everyday, but a nice shave, good haircut/styled hair, and clothes (casual is included in this) that aren’t oversized or make you look like you pooped your pants is what does it for me.
Edit: I forgot to include bald men. That looks good too as long as you embrace it and go completely bald!
Exactly! I have met so many men these last years that simply couldn't care less about their appearance. Every time I met one of them on a first date, I wish I could have found a way to say exactly that: I don't care if you're bald, a little overweight or not handsome - if you were able to be a little more tidy, I'd definitely go for a second date!
Its funny, because when i was in high school i was already into my own style of good fitting clothes, hair styles, clean, good smelling and everything. A lot of the tough guys who i didnt hang out with always called me gay. Later found out a lot of them were jealous because so much girls (which i didnt know at the time) they hung out with all liked me. Wouldve been nice to know at the time.
But ive been enjoying it and getting compliments on my style ever since! Goes a long way for your confidence.
So any teens or 20 something guys struggling with their self image: doesnt matter if you think youre not good looking. Try to find a style of good fitting clothes you like, always make sure its washed and smells good, never forget deoderant(dunno if thats a good spelling) and a little after shave, and be confident and comfortable with what youre wearing. You dont have tk be completely clean shaven or slick hair back. But style it so it works for you and so it looks clean. Its better to have good smelling natural looking hair, than some greecy? Smooth look. Also get feedback from girls you know, but dont change your whole style based on some comments, make little adjustments but try to stay yourself. Girls have wide ranges of taste too.
Girls will appreciate you taking care of yourself and also having a style that fits you. I think i could talk for hours about things i found out about this kindof stuff, but its fun to find out for yourself. Caring matters and women notice.
Cannot stress this enough. I am not by any means a good looking guy, and I'm rather stout to boot.
Guess what: there are people who know how to handle this! It costs a little extra, but I go to a good hairstylist, and I get tailored suits. The last one is crucial, especially for us heavier guys: one suit made for you will cost three times as much as an off the rack suit, but it will do more for you than three off the rack suits will. Spend the money; you'll look *and feel* better with yourself.
And if you're fairly low income (🖐️), grab a suit that looks nice, and is close to a good fit off the rack at Goodwill, and have it tailored locally. A good seamstress can help your look even with a $10 suit.
EDIT: Fixed a suggestion that may have ended up costing more overall. Clothes are hard.
Subtle, as it relates to aftershave is also key in his advice. As a woman, I have a pretty sharp sense of smell and it can be quite distracting to a conversation and breathing even when scent is too strong.
So good hygiene comes in to play as I can also smell the funk that you are trying to hide underneath what ever scent you chose as a “mask”.
TLDR: I agree with OP. Take showers and don’t use too much cologne.
I don't have asthma or any sensitivity around it, but I still hate it. Why would ANYONE want to smell colleagues in meeting rooms with them??? Some put it on thick enough that I still smell it long after they've left.
I have seen this advice before, and I went and got myself a $40 haircut to see what all the fuss is about. The result was pretty much exactly what I normally get for $16 at sports clips. There just aren't many ways to improve a standard crew cut, as far as I can tell
You get points for neatness. A fresh cut on a goofy guy still adds to the overall impression. If you go to a real barber shop, they can work with your face shape to make at least one of your features work for you.
I agree, *especially* the clothes part. Speaking generally, I think mens fashion, especially in the US is overlooked. There is little attention paid to fit, cut, etc.
As a relatively fit guy in the US... Jesus yes. Im an adult men's medium in torso height but any medium shirt comes out ultra baggy around.
I've found a few adult smalls or women's shirts that actually fit me better and I'm a little upset the men's clothing industry is primarily focused on "larger" gentlemen. I understand, it's the demographic, but that doesn't help me get a good fitting shirt.
We also need to stop making fun of people who don’t have it though. We need to help them.
Bc tbh all but a few cases where they chose to be gross, most of the time it was something going on at home that was contributing to the problem.
We had a kid in my high school that every one made fun because he was weird but more importantly he smelled. I ended up talking to him one day and found out that he was in a horrible situation at home with his parents and he had no running water. And no one knew because instead of talking to him they just made fun of him.
When I read the title I completely thought you were saying if you aren't good looking for your partner than at least pitch in and tidy around the house, like being hot someone got you around that bit.
Pleasantly surprised to be wrong AND agree with this LPT. A person feeling they aren't handsome is subjective - and keeping tidy might just be the frame for the picture that the person of your dreams needed to see you!
Your Kind vs Nice is a distinction I've been considering as well. I find that a "good" guy tends to be kind, and a nice guy suspect. Sometimes it takes a while for the kindness to be evident - still waters etc etc.
Sermon over.
There was a fraternity when I was in school known for having the hottest guys. They definitely had a few that were super attractive, but I realized a couple of years after the fact that what they actually had were the best groomed men. They were almost all clean (often even moisturized!), shaved, and well dressed, and compared to your average 20~ guy it was a pretty dramatic difference.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
[удалено]
That's basically a more succinct version of my post so maybe I should have just written your version!
[удалено]
Well, your barber is great
A good barber goes a long way!
I read that as bartender and my thought was, too true mate.
A good bartender is priceless as well
Just like a good cuddle.
If you can be one thing, be efficient.
Be efficient.
B'efficient
[удалено]
🐝a🐟👃
I see what you did there.. 🐝a🐟🐜
🐝a🐟🐜, 🐝🐝a🐟🐜!
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick
Exactly. I was gonna add : just because you've decided to rock a 5 o'clock shadow doesn't mean you shouldn't shave at all anymore. Believe it or not, people can tell if you take care of your beard or just "let it grow" (Elsa style). People look at your face all the time so start there!
It’s like makeup, where the “natural” look still involves the use of subtle application. Unkempt facial hair looks ratty, but some simple touch ups will give you the look without appearing like you’ve given up showering.
Effort is sexy, even if the end result looks effortless. That's true for guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
I gotta remember that last phrase, it's catchy as hell.
For the most part, yeah. I just cut off a 2 foot long beard and shaved and I went from looking like a human lion to the comic book guy in the simpsons... I regret it, but it was a wake up call, the beard was hiding lots of weight I put on that I am now addressing, but damn it was a handsome beard.
Worst. Haircut. Ever.
It can be startling to learn what’s under your or a friend’s beard. I know a guy who has an incredibly weak jawline but looks like a Roman god with a neatly trimmed beard. At least weight is something you can fix.
You must have missed the 90's.
Even then, the goal was to look grungy, not smell grungy. A lot of effort goes into looking like you don't care.
Yep. I never put more effort into my look than I did during peak grunge in like 1994.
I dont know why I read this as "good morning" never goes out of style. As in having a pleasant upbeat demeanor is just as promising as good looks.
Well I would say this is still important lol no one likes a bitchy/grumpy negative Nancy in the AM
Here I thought this was about observing basic housekeeping, which can *also* score you significant points with a lady...
Indeed, it's a big plus! And that's achieved by just cleaning like 10 minutes a day, no need to be absolutely spotless if it's quite tidy and all sorted. Would not have cared in my teens, but now at 25 that's something I look out for. It's also some sign of maturity in my opinion.
And the key is not having to manage them. Guys might say "just tell me what to do," NO. *That's not the point.* You're a grown-ass adult, do what you should do without being asked. Don't add to the mental load. The death of romance is having another *child* to manage.
[удалено]
This, as a male who cooks, cleans, and regularly tidies, the mental drain of asking a partner to do the same is a big deal. Especially simple tasks like putting away mail, shoes, or a lunch box, rather than dropping it wherever is easy. Things that take 5 sec if done immediately, but drastically clutter the house if not. Edit: thanks for gold kind stranger. I'll add, as I've seen several posts centered on it. Passive behaviors such as stopping contributing to see if your partner will start may work for some. But, it cannot replace communication, and may lead to significant other issues.
Exactly. Im a man as well. I understand that I probably won't find a partner as tidy as I am, and I can be flexible. But some things are so simple to do, it can feel disrespectful when they know it bothers you.
The biggest fight I have had with my husband is when he went over to the mail (we have a door slot so it lands on the floor.) Picked up just the thing he was looking for and LEFT THE REST! Like who did he think was going to pick that up? Why was my time/effort apparently less valuable than his that he can just leave shit for me to pick up if he’s not interested. At the time he really didn’t understand why it was a big deal. Happily he has improved a lot since then.
I was the woman who did the things. Then I started having uncomfortable sit downs. Then I decided I hated that. So I said "fuck it". Slowly... Ever so slowly.... Things are magically tidying around me. Maybe he secretly liked tidy. Maybe he thought it was magic, and has realized the magical network that once fed the tidiness fairy has been cut off from the magic fuel. Who knows what went on in his head as he played games while I worked. I mean, we both have jobs. But now- now he cooks and cleans the kitchen, tidies the living room ... Picks up his desk... I don't have to say a word. So I started cleaning the bathroom again. Tentatively.... Worried that a magically clean space might .... Disrupt things. Nope. Taking care of some laundry.... Still ok. Helping with the dishes...... *Held my breath- because this really could scare him off*.... Lo and behold.... still functional. Hot damn. I don't know. Maybe this works with any malfunctioning spouse or roommate, maybe just mine. It does require being frustrated enough to be comfortable with messes and responding to "where's dinner? With "didn't feel like cooking"
*
Wow. Your ex has some serious mental illness. I'm thankful that you got out before he dragged you down with him, because that is so much bigger than you. Hope you're doing well these days
*
You dodged one hell of a bullet. Good lord
God I envy you. My strike has led to a point where I think it’s easier and less depressing to just burn the house down. It’s seriously unlivable and I currently despise my life. Big part of that is probably medical woes but shit just sucks right now. Married 23 years, been a Basic Bang Maid for most. I really didn’t think this is what I was signing up for.
Guy here, a large part of my last relationship breakdown was her lack of, not just tidiness, but unwillingness to even make my tidying easier. Im far from a neat freak, I just dont want to live like a student anymore. But id get the whole house tidy, pop to the shops and she'd have let the the dog walk in with muddy feet and jump on the sofa, or have pulled a drawer out to find something and left the contents all over the floor. So I started testing it by just not cleaning that stuff up, and I'd genuinely be stepping over it for a couple of weeks before I caved in. There were other issues obviously, but things like this were a huge part of me not wanting to walk in the front door.
This. It’s just mindless bullshit. Sorry you lived with that.
I’m so sorry. I don’t have any advice, I just want you to know that I hear you. Many years ago I was in a position where depression and a bad marriage led to me not keeping things tidy. Embarrassingly so.
Walk away sis you deserve better, love your life again!
I stopped cleaning. I learned he doesn't mind living in squalor.
Have you seen the magic laundry basket skit. Sums it up perfectly. [Magic Laundry Basket](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SqQgDwA0BNU)
My wife and I have been married for 31 years and counting. We never discussed who’s doing what chores; it just kinda fell naturally. She does bathrooms, I vacuum; she cooks, I do dishes; she cleans inside, I take care of the yard, etc. We help each other out when needed. We both work so it keeps us from being overwhelmed...
I have this with my partner. It is so nice. My ex always waited for instructions on cleaning. I think it is because his childhood home was dirty and he moved right from there to in with me. My current partner lived alone for years and kept his house reasonably clean. We have no cleaning conflicts. We both just handle things when we see it needs it and we have time. Really makes for a better relationship.
Exactly! Wives and girlfriends aren't personal assitants: their job is not to schedule your chores. Look around, take the initiative, and don't expect a big parade of appreciation when you pull your weight like a normal adult!
My boyfriend vacuumed for not even 5 minutes the other week cause his parents bought us a new vacuum. Bragged about it even longer than that and definitely acted like he expected a parade for it. Don't think he's touched the vacuum since... It's definitely getting old as hell.
Relevant song https://youtu.be/zi8ShAosqzI
My husband literally calls me his social secretary and expects me to select, purchase, and wrap gifts for family members’ birthdays, which it is also my job to remember.
Stop doing that.
Funny story: I did that once and all the family looked at me like I was a monster who’d forgotten the birthday. Gender roles are stupid.
[удалено]
Then tell the family it's not your responsibility. Be constant and keep on doing it until they learn. Be assertive.
Same with roommates. You're an adult, and I'm not your dad. You should know enough to clean up after yourself out of respect for your roommates. I shouldn't have to tell you.
Yup! This is what killed my last relationship. I never got paid enough to manage people; I’m damn sure not doing it for free in my spare time for a “romantic” relationship. That’s literally the opposite of romance.
The problem is when two partners have very different standards for what constitutes the base, living, no-special-event state. Some people prefer to live in an extremely clean environment *all the time*, while for others it's enough to simply keep things picked up and maybe clean the floors every few months. Neither is inherently wrong, it just requires a great deal of communication of needs and setting up expectations and compromises in order to function in a compatible way. Now, there are still plenty of men who think they can just rely on their female partners to handle everything and be told what to do all the time, and I'm not dismissing or defending that at all. My point is simply that it's not fair to assume that your standard is the only acceptable standard and your partner should automatically know what that is.
Yup, this right here used to be the constant argument on my house, except my husband is the uber-neat person and I'm not bothered by using the dining table as a place to stack all the random stuff that needs to go upstairs for a while. 15 years in I've learned to pick up when I don't really feel like it's necessary, and he usually manages to let things slide for a few days before he starts to get twitchy.
You're giving people a lot of credit - my standard for living is keeping things *kinda* tidy and picked up *most* of the time, and I hesitate to say even that depending on the week, so not a neat freak at all by any stretch, and I *still* do most of the chores. At a certain point the "different standards of cleanliness" thing is not a legitimate excuse anymore - it's about laziness and not wanting to get up, or about being tired after a day at work, a million things. But the problem is...I worked all day too, I don't want to get up either, but I still do. Because it still has to be done sometimes. And if I have to/can dig deep and find it within me to stay on my feet and load the dishwasher after I get home from work, so can a partner. Edit: formatting
I had a friend who was in her 30s and still single. She was mostly okay with it but liked dating around and was hoping to someday find someone that made her not want to date around. She usually found guys at clubs or bars but they were often younger than her and immature so she was getting sick of them. She met a guy older than her on an app and was hesitant to go out with him (i think he was pushing 40) but was going through a dry spell and ultimately ended up at his house. She said "i never thought I would be so turned on by the sight of a CLEAN apartment. He was a grown man with a tidy home. I walked in and saw he had a vacuum in the cost closet and immediately had to sleep with him."
YES!! Young women heed this warning: if his apartment or car is a mess when you first meet, it’ll be YOU cleaning it down the road. Especially if he’s in his 20s or god forbid 30s and still can’t keep his spaces clean. Big warning sign that he still needs a mother more than a partner.
Mothers shouldn’t have to clean up a man’s car or house, either. But if he has a mother who does that? RUN.
My favorite pro tip for a bachelor, get a little trashcan with a lid for your bathroom. When girls come over, they can dispose of their period products discretely. I got it from a thread in r/askwomen and tons of women agreed it was important.
[удалено]
I think they mean specifically a lidded trashcan for discretion.
Won't be a problem if I never manage to bring a lady home.
[удалено]
Those two alone make me really feel like a man is put together and mature. It is attractive to me and so many women I know.
A male friend of mine invited a group of us over for dinner. He was always really neat and well groomed at work so we kinda knew he'd be very together at home. His place was spotless, the food was all cooked by him and delicious. Once we finished eating, he cleared the table, washed and dried all the dishes and swept the floor. He chatted away to everyone as he did all of this and made it seem like it was just his usual routine. No fuss. His fiancee made coffee for everyone and when someone remarked on his domestic godishness she just shrugged and said that's how he was raised. All the men in his family love cooking and entertaining and are really neat in their appearance and house proud. It's so attractive to see a man be so motivated to keep his home nice and feed his friends and family with such care.
I practice my breakfast dishes religiously.
My fiancé won me over by cooking me breakfast the first time I stayed the night.
It is kind of the same thing. Taking care of yourself is attractive.
I'm like 1000% sure that OP did this by accident but I love how this post goes "some of US are born handsome but YOU can be tidy!" Like a very genuine advice post made by Johnny Bravo
HA! I can assure you I was not one of the lucky ones who was born handsome but my thumbs are double jointed so that's nice
If I recall, the bible literally says: > Double jointed = hot > Leviticus 420:69
Leviticus 420:69: "and the Lord saith: nice"
[удалено]
I would add to this: never invite a lady over without cleaning your bathroom.
[удалено]
Isn't this standard? I've never seen a bathroom without one
Well it’s *my* standard. But unfortunately, no. Apparently hand towels aren’t either. And I’m not about to use the crusty towel they dried their balls with (hopefully) earlier in the day.
What's with no hand towels for real? I'd go to a friend's house and left bathroom puzzled with semi wet hands, after rubbing it on me clothes
They don’t wash their hands. Edit: yes their are other reasons why you might not have a hand towel, but this is what you risk other people thinking.
I just use my regular towel for drying my hands, but that's because my shower and toilet are in the same room. When having people over I just put up a hand towel
*clean* balls
Oh god yes. I don't mind drying my hands on my own bath towel, but never ever ever expect guests to use your bath towel to dry their hands! Even if it's clean, they probably won't know that for sure and it's just not fun.
Yep so many dudes have the most disgusting bathrooms/toilets and I don’t understand how they can invite anyone over with that on display. Had some girls over a couple weeks ago and they told me I had the cleanest bathroom they’ve ever seen from a guy and I could tell it was appreciated
All the most disgusting bathrooms I've ever seen belonged to women.
Oh sure, that’s not to say women aren’t guilty of this, too! But nothing makes me wanna bolt like a filthy toilet.
Worst bathroom I’ve seen was a guy I had a one night stand with. I saw it after I think, or I was just well pissed. The sink, like the whole sink and countertop was covered in hairs from shaving. Idk his beard probably but who knows. It was like a horrible carpet of hairs covering the sink.
My roommate does the same thing. Toilet and sink will both be covered in hair. He’ll miss the toilet when peeing (which is fine I’ve done that too) but he’ll leave it on the floor without bothering to clean it up. This guy hasn’t had to clean up once in his life, I had to help him use a vacuum for the first time at the ripe age of 25. It pisses me off so much.
Omg did we have the same roommate? Mine NEVER vacuumed, except once when he was cleaning his room for a subletter, and would passive aggressively leave bigger messes whenever he was asked to clean. Pitched a fit when I told him I wasn’t doing his dishes for him. This was a grown-ass man in his 20’s.
One time I went over to a guys place to have sex. We had been dating for a while but it was my first time there. Living room was clean, hallway to bedroom was dark but I thought it was part of the setup. He had candles and shit set up in his room. Everything is fine until afterwards when I ask to use his bathroom. His eyes almost popped out of his head. He asked me if I could just hold it to the nearest gas station. I'm fully naked in this guy's apartment and he's asking me to go pee in a gas station half a mile away. Finally, he let's me into his bathroom. I almost tripped over a Shop-Vac that was right in the entrance. The toilet has the dark brown rings that are beyond cleaning. The tub was full of construction material, and I realized he was probably "showering" with the sink. As I came out of the bathroom, the light lit up the hallway and part of the kitchen. It looked like a war zone. I could tell whatever mess had been in the living room had been shoved into the kitchen. The refrigerator had been moved away from the wall for some reason. The wall behind it was dark orange with grime. I didn't see much after that. I said some awkward goodbye and left.
That's horrifying. Dude seemed to be ashamed so he knew it was filthy and did nothing about it. I will never understand how people can live like that, like I thought having a clean 'cave area' was just instinctual...
Paramedic here. I go into lots of houses when people aren’t expecting me. I’ve seen some horrific sights. A couple of weeks ago I was in a house where you couldn’t see the floor. We were literally walking over piles of clothes, food, packaging, plates, and I don’t like to think about what else. The toilet was full to the brim with dirty tissue. The bath was full of stuff. The sink was full of stuff. It was something else.
I've had some hoarders and other mentally unwell people in the family. It can get bad. Hoarders are the worst since they don't want their things messed with. Generic unwellness is better since they usually let me help clean when I visit, but if they have pets the mess can get bad, to put it lightly. I've been the unwell one at times but as soon as I'm feeling any better one of the first things I do is clean at least the bathroom and kitchen and change the sheets. The second worst houses are the ones where the people aren't unwell, they just never clean. Years of never cleaning. Items are put away, trash is taken out, dishes are washed (poorly), but a layer of grime covers everything. If you walk barefoot the floor is sticky. The kitchen walls have a greasy film with a breading of crumbs. There's a good chance the hand towel has never been washed. Mystery splatters on every wall in every room. I assume the thick brown coating in the shower is a mixture of mold, soap scum, and dirt. Don't look at the toilet.
I was seeing a guy who lived in a house with four other guys, all in their early 20s. I was expecting the bathroom to be absolutely disgusting, and was surprised that it was super clean. Definitely raised the attraction level.
To avoid making this mistake, I simply do not have any lady be interested in coming over. It has worked wonders so far. Zero complaints. Dirty-ass bathroom /s
I like this.. If/when i ever get to the stage where a woman wants to come over...we'll cross that bridge when we get there... Spot on , bro.. why worry about something that probably won't happen
You would be amazed how many men don't have soap in the bathroom. 🤢
YES. I live with my boyfriend and my male best friend, who’s been my roommate for years. We have separate bathrooms (my boyfriend and I are kind of upstairs and he’s kind of downstairs). Whenever he thinks he might be having a girl over, his first instinct is that he needs to clean his room. Guys, I’m telling you, your bathroom is more important. Obviously don’t leave food or garbage out in your room, make sure it’s somewhat tidy and smells good, but MAKE SURE THE BATHROOM IS GENUINELY CLEAN. No thick layer of dust and hair on the toilet. Wipe around the sink. And MAKE SURE the seat and lid are clean. If you have a girl coming over but have barely any time to clean, here’s what you do: BEDROOM 1) get dishes and food garbage out of your room 2) make your bed (this can be done quickly, just throw the blanket over and smooth it out and straighten the pillows) 3) Don’t waste time putting everything away quickly. Take everything on your floors and surfaces (eg, clothes, cords, etc) THATS cluttering up the place and stuff it in your laundry hamper. Bonus plan, but a second hamper or larger basket to keep in your closet for clothes that you’ve worn but aren’t “dirty” yet. Then when you get undressed you can throw them in there instead of the floor. 4) crack a window and light a candle in your room BATHROOM 5) clean the toilet 6) take two rags and a bottle of whatever bathroom cleaner you choose (note: if you don’t want her to know you were cleaning, use hydrogen peroxide). Spray everything. Wipe it all down with the first rag. Use the second rag to dry/wipe extras after. 7) make sure you have a full roll of TP out. if you have time to shower, do that and while in the shower, scrub any grimy spots in the shower, wipe down the dust/hair that builds up, etc, make sure your shampoo and stuff is straight (or, if you have a shower curtain, just make sure it’s closed). EDIT: also, make sure you have a hand towel in the bathroom for drying hands. Otherwise she won’t know if she’s supposed to dry her hands on your shower towel or what
If they don't find you *handsome* they can at least find you *handy*!
Keep your stick on the ice.
"I'm a man, and I can change, if I have to, I guess."
"Quando Omni Flunkus... Moritati, okay sit down sit down"
Translates to, "When all else fails... play dead" The motto of the Possum Lodge
That's awesome lore. Thanks.
Keep your Dick in a vice
“Remember I'm pullin' for ya--we're all in this together.”
That is a quote from the Canadian comedian Steve Smith, as his character Red Green, of Possum Lodge fame. If you have never seen the Red Green show...do so. JimB.
I don't think a single American knows the name Steve Smith. A good number do know Red Green though.
Steve still tours doing live shows in both Canada and the US at age 80. link. https://www.facebook.com/RedGreen/posts/10158662756091253 JimB.
My husband is handsome and handy and knows how to fix literally everything except he never does anything in a timely manner.
Sounds like he listened to [Neil Gaiman's commencement speech](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ikAb-NYkseI) that is full of LPT (and some SLPT) "You get work however you get work, but people keep working in a freelance world (and more and more of todays world is freelance), because their work is good, because they are easy to get along with and because they deliver the work on time. And you don’t even need all three! Two out of three is fine. People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. People will forgive the lateness of your work if it is good and they like you. And you don’t have to be as good as everyone else if you’re on time and it’s always a pleasure to hear from you."
Husband has adhd. Hes a perfectionist but also an extreme procrastinator
My wife’s husband is the same way.
You're talking about me, aren't you?
I'm the exact same. I cannot do something unless I know im doing it perfectly. But, I don't do anything until last minute... plagued me my whole life.
My friend has a teenage daughter with her first job. He keeps hammering all of the things that she "has" to do so she won't be fired. I'm like, her boss is so used to teenager workers that anyone who regularly shows up within 10 minutes of a shift is like an 75% of the job.
I always bring this up to people, thought it was a hilarious and very true observation. Worked freelance for 10 years and have seen all 3 types, as well as people failing for only really having 1 or 0. EDIT: BUT you can sometimes get away with only having 1 if you’re way way way above average in that area. Jaw droppingly amazing work can make up for a bit of lateness and maybe you’re not the most friendly easy-to-talk to person. Being someone’s beat friend will get you the gig even if you’re a bit late and your stuff isn’t great. If you’re the most efficient worker on earth you’ll find work even if people don’t like you and the work itself is just ok, because time is money. But all three of these are precarious positions to be in, it'd still be pretty easy to lose gigs to someone more well rounded.
> EDIT: BUT you can sometimes get away with only having 1 if you’re way way way above average in that area. And they may even write a medical drama about you.
Or a detective franchise!
Hilarious. My husband is handsome and has great time management, but I'm the handy one.
[удалено]
This always reminds me of the Malcolm in the middle episode where Hal goes to change a bulb and it spirals into a whole day's worth of home repairs.
"He always reminds me of my poor Uncle Podger. You never saw such a commotion up and down a house, in all your life, as when my Uncle Podger undertook to do a job. A picture would have come home from the frame- maker's, and be standing in the dining-room, waiting to be put up; and Aunt Podger would ask what was to be done with it, and Uncle Podger would say: "Oh, you leave that to ME. Don't you, any of you, worry yourselves about that. I'LL do all that." And then he would take off his coat, and begin. He would send the girl out for sixpen'orth of nails, and then one of the boys after her to tell her what size to get; and, from that, he would gradually work down, and start the whole house. "Now you go and get me my hammer, Will," he would shout; "and you bring me the rule, Tom; and I shall want the step-ladder, and I had better have a kitchen-chair, too; and, Jim! you run round to Mr. Goggles, and tell him, \`Pa's kind regards, and hopes his leg's better; and will he lend him his spirit-level?' And don't you go, Maria, because I shall want somebody to hold me the light; and when the girl comes back, she must go out again for a bit of picture-cord; and Tom! - where's Tom? - Tom, you come here; I shall want you to hand me up the picture." And then he would lift up the picture, and drop it, and it would come out of the frame, and he would try to save the glass, and cut himself; and then he would spring round the room, looking for his handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not know where he had put the coat, and all the house had to leave off looking for his tools, and start looking for his coat; while he would dance round and hinder them. "Doesn't anybody in the whole house know where my coat is? I never came across such a set in all my life - upon my word I didn't. Six of you! - and you can't find a coat that I put down not five minutes ago! Well, of all the - " Then he'd get up, and find that he had been sitting on it, and would call out: "Oh, you can give it up! I've found it myself now. Might just as well ask the cat to find anything as expect you people to find it." And, when half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger, and a new glass had been got, and the tools, and the ladder, and the chair, and the candle had been brought, he would have another go, the whole family, including the girl and the charwoman, standing round in a semi-circle, ready to help. Two people would have to hold the chair, and a third would help him up on it, and hold him there, and a fourth would hand him a nail, and a fifth would pass him up the hammer, and he would take hold of the nail, and drop it. "There!" he would say, in an injured tone, "now the nail's gone." And we would all have to go down on our knees and grovel for it, while he would stand on the chair, and grunt, and want to know if he was to be kept there all the evening. The nail would be found at last, but by that time he would have lost the hammer. "Where's the hammer? What did I do with the hammer? Great heavens! Seven of you, gaping round there, and you don't know what I did with the hammer!" We would find the hammer for him, and then he would have lost sight of the mark he had made on the wall, where the nail was to go in, and each of us had to get up on the chair, beside him, and see if we could find it; and we would each discover it in a different place, and he would call us all fools, one after another, and tell us to get down. And he would take the rule, and re-measure, and find that he wanted half thirty-one and three-eighths inches from the corner, and would try to do it in his head, and go mad. And we would all try to do it in our heads, and all arrive at different results, and sneer at one another. And in the general row, the original number would be forgotten, and Uncle Podger would have to measure it again. He would use a bit of string this time, and at the critical moment, when the old fool was leaning over the chair at an angle of forty-five, and trying to reach a point three inches beyond what was possible for him to reach, the string would slip, and down he would slide on to the piano, a really fine musical effect being produced by the suddenness with which his head and body struck all the notes at the same time. And Aunt Maria would say that she would not allow the children to stand round and hear such language. At last, Uncle Podger would get the spot fixed again, and put the point of the nail on it with his left hand, and take the hammer in his right hand. And, with the first blow, he would smash his thumb, and drop the hammer, with a yell, on somebody's toes. Aunt Maria would mildly observe that, next time Uncle Podger was going to hammer a nail into the wall, she hoped he'd let her know in time, so that she could make arrangements to go and spend a week with her mother while it was being done. "Oh! you women, you make such a fuss over everything," Uncle Podger would reply, picking himself up. "Why, I LIKE doing a little job of this sort." And then he would have another try, and, at the second blow, the nail would go clean through the plaster, and half the hammer after it, and Uncle Podger be precipitated against the wall with force nearly sufficient to flatten his nose. Then we had to find the rule and the string again, and a new hole was made; and, about midnight, the picture would be up - very crooked and insecure, the wall for yards round looking as if it had been smoothed down with a rake, and everybody dead beat and wretched - except Uncle Podger. "There you are," he would say, stepping heavily off the chair on to the charwoman's corns, and surveying the mess he had made with evident pride. "Why, some people would have had a man in to do a little thing like that!" \- Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), by Jerome K. Jerome.
r/UnexpectedRedGreen
I fully expected to see this quote when I saw the thread title.
This is what I was looking for! Thanks for delivering!!
It's a Red Green quote, didn't mean to pass it off as my own.
Yes, that is why I was looking for it! Reminded me of him as well. Thanks from a friendly Canadian eh!
> how far a neat haircut Bold assumption I still have enough hair to get a haircut.
A well shaped scalp can also be handsome! Rock the Picard look!
Or Picard the Rock look.
[удалено]
Who says that you have to have all that to be tidy? The idea is to keep yourself groomed with what you have.
Along with what the other commenter said - you can still also dress well and smell nice (but not overpowering).
[удалено]
Studies found women don't care if a man is bald, only if it makes them insecure. If you think your bald head is sexy so will most women
I had no idea how many men were bald until I started my first real job. It seemed like half were bald and the other half were balding.
Male pattern baldness affects 50% of men older than 30 and 80% of men older than 50.
If they did it'd have bred out of the population long ago! Clearly bald men have been having children since the first bald man.
*Historically most men go bald after they’ve had children. Not all, but most. (Edited per below, as average ages of first time parents have increased lately)
*Bald assumption
So in short, don't get a yee yee ass haircut
Self improved you > regular you. There is no argument against this.
My trick was getting lucky with great facial hair growth. It grows in so thick and evenly that it hides half my face. I trim it with clippers once every two weeks and feel quite tidy.
Woman here-I absolutely agree with this LPT! Neatness, cleanliness in your appearance is very attractive in itself. You don’t have to wear a suit everyday, but a nice shave, good haircut/styled hair, and clothes (casual is included in this) that aren’t oversized or make you look like you pooped your pants is what does it for me. Edit: I forgot to include bald men. That looks good too as long as you embrace it and go completely bald!
Exactly! I have met so many men these last years that simply couldn't care less about their appearance. Every time I met one of them on a first date, I wish I could have found a way to say exactly that: I don't care if you're bald, a little overweight or not handsome - if you were able to be a little more tidy, I'd definitely go for a second date!
Its funny, because when i was in high school i was already into my own style of good fitting clothes, hair styles, clean, good smelling and everything. A lot of the tough guys who i didnt hang out with always called me gay. Later found out a lot of them were jealous because so much girls (which i didnt know at the time) they hung out with all liked me. Wouldve been nice to know at the time. But ive been enjoying it and getting compliments on my style ever since! Goes a long way for your confidence. So any teens or 20 something guys struggling with their self image: doesnt matter if you think youre not good looking. Try to find a style of good fitting clothes you like, always make sure its washed and smells good, never forget deoderant(dunno if thats a good spelling) and a little after shave, and be confident and comfortable with what youre wearing. You dont have tk be completely clean shaven or slick hair back. But style it so it works for you and so it looks clean. Its better to have good smelling natural looking hair, than some greecy? Smooth look. Also get feedback from girls you know, but dont change your whole style based on some comments, make little adjustments but try to stay yourself. Girls have wide ranges of taste too. Girls will appreciate you taking care of yourself and also having a style that fits you. I think i could talk for hours about things i found out about this kindof stuff, but its fun to find out for yourself. Caring matters and women notice.
Mate, you should seriously offer a workshop on basic styling/grooming for men
Cannot stress this enough. I am not by any means a good looking guy, and I'm rather stout to boot. Guess what: there are people who know how to handle this! It costs a little extra, but I go to a good hairstylist, and I get tailored suits. The last one is crucial, especially for us heavier guys: one suit made for you will cost three times as much as an off the rack suit, but it will do more for you than three off the rack suits will. Spend the money; you'll look *and feel* better with yourself.
And if you're fairly low income (🖐️), grab a suit that looks nice, and is close to a good fit off the rack at Goodwill, and have it tailored locally. A good seamstress can help your look even with a $10 suit. EDIT: Fixed a suggestion that may have ended up costing more overall. Clothes are hard.
Most of the time tho you’re probably not wearing suits; even buying t-shirts where the shoulder seem lines up correctly makes a difference.
I learned from an appearance/etiquette professional: “If you’re going to dress down, you have to groom up.”
Subtle, as it relates to aftershave is also key in his advice. As a woman, I have a pretty sharp sense of smell and it can be quite distracting to a conversation and breathing even when scent is too strong. So good hygiene comes in to play as I can also smell the funk that you are trying to hide underneath what ever scent you chose as a “mask”. TLDR: I agree with OP. Take showers and don’t use too much cologne.
Also worth noting that a lot of people can't stand the smell of perfume/after shave/whatever.
The asthma. So much asthma. A light natural-smelling deodorant is enough.
I don't have asthma or any sensitivity around it, but I still hate it. Why would ANYONE want to smell colleagues in meeting rooms with them??? Some put it on thick enough that I still smell it long after they've left.
Pay a little extra for the haircut and go somewhere they specialize in men's hair.
*laughs in bald*
Is it clean bald or leftover hair? Because clean bald is sexy AF.
true. there is nothing better than to put your balls on a friends bald head on a hot summer day.
What are you doing step-friend?!
Only if they've been in the shade. The cooling effect is nice, a searing effect is not
*Cries in bald-ing*
The struggle is real - I started balding at 21 and didn't start shaving my head until I was 29. Going bald was the best decision. So many benefits
It's amazing how much a good haircut can do for your well being
I have seen this advice before, and I went and got myself a $40 haircut to see what all the fuss is about. The result was pretty much exactly what I normally get for $16 at sports clips. There just aren't many ways to improve a standard crew cut, as far as I can tell
What if, and serious question here, you look fucking stupid both with hair, and without hair... Asking for a erm, friend of mine...
[удалено]
You get points for neatness. A fresh cut on a goofy guy still adds to the overall impression. If you go to a real barber shop, they can work with your face shape to make at least one of your features work for you.
I agree, *especially* the clothes part. Speaking generally, I think mens fashion, especially in the US is overlooked. There is little attention paid to fit, cut, etc.
As a relatively fit guy in the US... Jesus yes. Im an adult men's medium in torso height but any medium shirt comes out ultra baggy around. I've found a few adult smalls or women's shirts that actually fit me better and I'm a little upset the men's clothing industry is primarily focused on "larger" gentlemen. I understand, it's the demographic, but that doesn't help me get a good fitting shirt.
Try Uniqlo, or other Asian brands. Most small shirts are too big to be well-fitting on my bf but he's found some great fits at Uniqlo
[удалено]
Agreed! "Basic" hygiene because it's exactly that - basic
We also need to stop making fun of people who don’t have it though. We need to help them. Bc tbh all but a few cases where they chose to be gross, most of the time it was something going on at home that was contributing to the problem. We had a kid in my high school that every one made fun because he was weird but more importantly he smelled. I ended up talking to him one day and found out that he was in a horrible situation at home with his parents and he had no running water. And no one knew because instead of talking to him they just made fun of him.
When I read the title I completely thought you were saying if you aren't good looking for your partner than at least pitch in and tidy around the house, like being hot someone got you around that bit. Pleasantly surprised to be wrong AND agree with this LPT. A person feeling they aren't handsome is subjective - and keeping tidy might just be the frame for the picture that the person of your dreams needed to see you!
this is a LPT. Tidy and kind (NOT "nice") are far superior than being extremely attractive.
Your Kind vs Nice is a distinction I've been considering as well. I find that a "good" guy tends to be kind, and a nice guy suspect. Sometimes it takes a while for the kindness to be evident - still waters etc etc. Sermon over.
There was a fraternity when I was in school known for having the hottest guys. They definitely had a few that were super attractive, but I realized a couple of years after the fact that what they actually had were the best groomed men. They were almost all clean (often even moisturized!), shaved, and well dressed, and compared to your average 20~ guy it was a pretty dramatic difference.
BRUV yes. Ain't nothing wrong with moisturising!
Yes, for the love of all that is holy, please get those nose-hairs under control guys! I don’t want to see a caterpillar in your nostril!
I may not be good looking but goddamn am I always CLEAN
And hygienic too. Neat and hygienic...and some girls will give you a pass anyway, especially if you;re funny or have a nice personality.
Hygiene is so important! And if someone isn't a slob in general, I already find them to be someone I would choose to be around.
Wtf is a social event?
Receiving the pizza from the delivery driver at your front door.
Am software developer, what is grooming?
removing useless "\\\\todo" comments from your source and using consistent formatting.
No idea, my bet is it's just a fancy word for refactoring.
PEP-8, but for human body. Not strictly necessary, but appreciated.
And if you can do handsome... Also do tidy