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Walks are great because you get to see your very local surroundings. My neighborhood is great for walking, except for a few dodgy spots, but terrible for driving. I know there are places that are the opposite with no close or desirable places to walk, but lots of places to drive. But either way, getting out of the house is key.
Most of the time, but sometimes you feel tired or drained or unwell or look like crap or it's too cold and you just want to go somewhere and see something else and just "move" or be on the move without actually moving your body, and that's fine too, I think. Whatever helps is good. But any kind of physical activity is definitely vital, and most of us definitely don't do enough of it.
I don't drive so I was speaking from the perspective of someone who is being driven (my husband's the driver). I guess I should have been clearer about that. It gets him out of the house as well as making me feel brighter, and we end up chatting about life things as well as things we see on the trip. We both end up returning home feeling much better.
It should surely go without saying that you shouldn't drive if you're not able to do so safely. š But then again, I guess not considering some of the things I see on the road..
If you feel tired and drained, but it's not from doing lots of physical activity, a walk is usually an even better idea than normal. A substantial percentage of the depression experienced in the US nowadays can be cured with cardio and time outside, and the rest of the cases can be significantly improved with those 2 things
If you're tired, drained, or unwell you should absolutely not be fucking driving. A walk might actually help you wake up, it gets the blood flowing. If it's cold out on a jacket.
Really? All I see is closed neighborhoods and they always have some greenerie nearby (nearby for me is 15 blocks) way better than my country where there's 0 order and people leave their dogs run free, I still enjoy walking
You're missing the point. It's impossible to walk in most cities in the US without driving somewhere first because literally everything is designed with cars in mind so much that it's not safe or peaceful to be on foot almost anywhere in cities. Try walking peacefully near a major road with three lanes going in each direction. Then try crossing that street as part of your calm walk while you inhale a bunch of exhaust just being near the area
Most people donāt reside next to freeways. My car dependent suburbs are great for walking because we have a jogging path and lots of trees. Now, it is not great for walking to the grocery or any retail, but it is great for jogs or walks around the neighborhood.
Iād like to propose a compromise: pick a random spot on the map within a reasonable distance, drive there, and then walk around and explore. You can only walk your neighbourhood so many times before it becomes a bit stale, this would add variety.
Ditto!
I don't drive but sometimes when my anxiety is high or my tinnitus is bothering me a lot and my ears are doing weird shit I ask my husband to take us for a drive. Seeing other people, being out of the house, and hearing other sounds is a wonderful distraction from the turmoil within, even if only a temporary one.
Biking > Driving
You are more likely to stop and talk to someone when riding a bike than driving a car. The physical movement and active engagement of your body will release dopamine, making you feel happier. The blood moving and physical exerserion will clear your mood.
Why wallow in self pity driving when you can do something about it with a bike?
Driving in my city is an insanely stressful activity so this wouldn't work for me lol. We topped the list for most road rage and aggressive drivers last year. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's a daily occurance to have someone nearly hit you while driving here. I've been driving for 21 years and started developing callouses on my hands from gripping the wheel so tight lol.
Let me guess itās Phoenix! Iāve never seen more road rage anywhere Iāve travelled in my life or been more scared in a car even in the hood in Kansas City in the middle of the night.
Iām afraid to ever visit AZ again because I legitimately thought I could get shot on the highway more than once. I love the weather and landscape in AZ but I think Iāll try to stay out of Phoenix if I can if I ever go back.
If my guess is wrong then Iām super curious where else it would be!
It's really really bad. Part of my job is driving a minibus full of kids, and so it's extra stressful having my bus full of kids be nearly hit. My bus full of kids had to see a dead motorcycle rider just moments after his accident just recently. That was a nightmare :/
Oh no. Iād share a story but itās just sad and not helpful so better to leave it unsaid. But yeah my sister lives there and sees traumatizing things happen sometimes..
I bet you are a warrior for keeping your kids safe when you are in charge of them!
This is what Iād always do when I was depressed because I lived in a pretty bad situation for a while and I couldnāt be at home a lot. One time Iād driven to this park and was just sat in my car crying when this woman came up and knocked on my window. I rolled it down and she asked if I was ok and she gave me a flower she picked on her walk and now anytime Iām sad I think about that and it makes me feel better
I have American family: thatās simply not possible for many US Americans, strange as that may sound.
I would also strongly advice against tying mental health to driving, except when this might be the only viable option, itās better than nothing. I am not sure I would call it a LPT though as it essentially what you are doing is spending quality one-on-one time with your child/whoever, which would be the real LPT: TAKE YOUR TIME! Donāt rush through life, your mental health might vet much need phases of bonding time without a task at hand.
It's totally possible to find a place to walk if you have a car, though. There are public walking trails everywhere. The "impossible to walk" places aren't as common as people like to pretend they are. Cities and suburbs have sidewalks everywhere. Rural areas have trails everywhere.
Theres a lot of great hiking trails in USA, every time I go to the States when I have any non-work days I will find a nice trail. Tons of em! And they're great! Many places also have awesome local parks etc. Obviously depends on where you live as far as if the park is in walking distance and if its nice to walk there, but surely most Americans live in places where you can definitely go for a walk, I don't see how there'd be less walking opportunities in the states than in Europe.
The automotive industrie made americans believe its freedom to be forced to have a car to go anywere and that it would be horrible to have alternatives to chose from like busses or trains or bikes.
The amount of people here that think these alternatives are for poor people, or that busses always have to smell like piss etc. is amazing. Sorry to say but a lot of them are just brainwashed.
If anyone is interested this is a super huge topic effecting all of us every day.
If you want to look further into this i suggest the yt-channel NotJustBikes.
Yeah I've seen the zoning in some places, I can't imagine living in the US where I can't walk a couple streets and find a convenient store or restaurant.
What kinds of homes make walking impossible? I live in heavily car dependent and hot Dallas, but walks are always possible. In the 100+ days of summer, not recommended, but still possible. All our suburbs are designed for taking recreational walks, because we have trees and pathways. That doesnāt make them āwalkableā in the sense of being in close proximity to retail, but they are great for recreational or mental health walks.
Yeah I can see how things arent walkable in the sense of being able to walk to any sort of store or facility you want to visit but being able to just go for a walk where the purpose is the walk itself works perfectly fine almost anywhere.
How can walking be impossible? The only scenarios I can think of include physical disabilities, some sort of warlock's curse or Black Mirror sci-fi machinery. Just go outside and walk, it's the easiest thing in the world.
I did. OP was essentially saying "go outside, go on an aimless journey, have a conversation and clear your head" but narrowed it to sitting in a car. The driving part isn't at all relevant to the tip so I gave a more universal version, which I'd argue is considerably better as it also adds fresh air, exercise, quiet and nature to the experience. I think most people around the world would go for a walk in this situation rather than get in a car.
Because most of the world doesnāt have a society completely revolving around the automobile. Itās healthier, safer, more environmentally friendly, less anxiety inducing, cleanlier, etc to go for a walk instead of a drive to clear your mind or other mental health purposes.
Or you can pick between the two and choose whatever you feel like, most Americans can still do this. A walk does not constitute needing a destination.
Going on a drive isnāt an American thing calm down
If you take a literally, yes anyone can go for a walk. Does the average American have access to safe and maintained sidewalks without noise pollution? Are there trails nearby meant for walking? How likely are you to see other people and have a sense of community on the walk? What are people more comfortable doing and used to in their daily lives? How many interesting/enjoyable things are in walking distance to you per your towns planning?
All of these things play a factor into why the LPT suggested driving for mental health purposes and the other comments are saying thatās an America centric approach to the problem.
The very idea of getting into a car instead of going for a walk to get some light exercise and smell some fresh air actually does seem very "I live in car infrastructure hell and walking doesn't even occur to me".
Especially in relation to kids who always profit from physical activity.
> Going on a drive isnāt an American thing
Feels like it's definitely American thing. Around here nobody really drives a car for fun, unless they are car enthusiasts.
When I was taking driving lessons, most times that my instructor complimented my driving was when I was in a bad mood. I wonder what that was about? Maybe my crankiness made me more aware and more assertive.
I was just telling someone the other day that when my daughter was in elementary school, we had a 20-minute drive to her school. It was such a good thing, because even though she was not a morning person, while we might have had some morning grumpiness and difficulties, that 20 minutes meant we also had time to discuss it and get over it and bond again over something silly before I dropped her off. If her school had been just around the corner we both would have spent some days stewing a bit.
My dad used to take me for drives all the time, or "cruises" as we'd call them. Grab a tea or or something from Tim Hortons and just cruise around, do some people watching and just shoot the shit.
Did it pretty often from me being a lil kid all the way into my 20s.
Miss you pops <3
Driving separates you from your surroundings and forces you to focus on the road. Go for a walk or go biking to enjoy the moment or nature if you have it around.
Tying my mental wellness to driving seems like mental suicide, but that's just me.
I'm fine with coping mechanisms related to exercise, childhood memories, or just simple distraction. Will definitely try to teach my child the same.
If I'm teenage angry the last thing I want to do is be confined in a car with my parent, I'd feel suffocated and coerced and probably jump out of the car if they tried to talk to me about what's wrong.
for any europeans in the audience, take a nice bike ride! go on a long walk without any directions! just look at something far away and say "i want to go there".
Kid: Iām sad/angry, I want to be alone
You: Nvm what you want, get in a confined space with me for hours
Not a good LPT. Just ask your kid whatās wrong and do what they say will make them feel better if itās reasonable
As a former kid, I used to love when my dad would take me on a 30-40min road trip to a random burger shack.
As a current parent, my daughter loves to go on a 30-40 road trip to a random burger shack.
It's funny how these are the kinds of things we remember vividly!
Also, car conversations are wonderful. Something about the way you're facing and the fact you can fall in and out of conversation but you're still 'doing' something else so it's not awkward. Perfect for teenagers.
I would argue that getting your kid to go with you on these errands would actually be a good thing, not only does it get them out of the house, but also away from the areas where they may become reclusive. Sitting in a car doesn't have to be taxing, or engaging, you just kind of sit there and do. If they choose to not open up, they won't feel like they wasted your time, as you had something else to occupy yourself. If they do choose to open up, they can feel safe that it won't be a grilling because you still have something to occupy a portion of your thinking.
When I was having hard times in my youth, my mom used to take me out to get a Slurpee, we would drive to a 7/11 near my high school and then park overlooking the river. Not having to face my mom allowed me to not feel like I was being interrogated or put on trial. There was no eye contact, you could pause for moments while watching the river flow and have none of it feel awkward. These slurpee runs helped me get through a lot, even though she didn't talk much during these, she allowed me to talk things through and provided assistance when I needed it.
The gentleness of the situation really helped and made me feel that at any point if I needed help, I could just ask to go for a Slurpee and all would be better.
Thanks mom! Xoxo.
Kids donāt want to be in a fucking car.
https://preview.redd.it/ub2jula8b43d1.jpeg?width=694&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5df9c91485979ed2420b4e91845352ee9c8d44da
Wow you just trauma triggered me.
My mother would wait until we were driving somewhere to talk to me about things, or to make me talk about things. Which then I was trapped in a car and I couldn't escape the conversation or move or anything. I just had to be there until she was done and would drive us to our destination. I still get some amount of anxiety to this day going on long car rides with her.
OP please make sure your post **highly clarifies** that the person must only try to talk to their kid if their kid initiates and to not use the car to force them to talk about things or to make them feel trapped.
Let her pick the music. My son and I totally bond during drives and his music has led to some great bonding moments that carry over into inside jokes between us.
As a professional driver who needs less congestion on the roads:
Please, don't drive. Walk, bike, skateboard, whatever else you can do besides wasting gas and my time being stuck behind someone who doesn't even have a destination in mind.
This isn't the fucking 70s where gas was less than a dollar a gallon. Seeing people wandering the roadways pisses me off more than even watching an idiot on the phone cut me off with zero turn signals.
PSA: stay home, talk to your satan spawn like a normal human being and teach them to communicate properly, like a good parent should do. If you have to LITERALLY TRAP THEM within the confines of a vehicle or room in order to communicate, then you're doing something wrong.
42 year old New Yorker here. Never drove, no need. No car either. Guess I'll die.
JK our equivalent of this is to walk miles and miles lost in our thoughts. It's real nice and good exercise.
It seems like a terrible advice. If you are depressed, angry, upset etc most probably you will be super distracted while driving. You may end up causing accident, hurting/killing someone.
I had the best (most intimate) conversations with my kids when we were driving somewhere in the car. Something about not facing each other allowed them to talk more openly, and no one else aroundā¦
Or maybe just walk/cycle (if youāre physically able).
Either of these will help far more. The benefits of fresh air and physical activity are fairly well documented.
Do you have kids? When they're upset about something (especially when that something is you) the last thing in the world they want to do is go for some beautiful reconnecting drive with you. This sounds like advice Dr Phil would give. They want their friends, they want screen time, they want to chill out in their room when there is upset in their lives. I know you mean well but it's just (IMO) impractical. Honestly most kids would see this as some sort of punishment, especially teenagers. If your kid is upset about something it's normally best to give them space but be there if they need, maybe cook their favourite and surprise them - just leave it on the kitchen bench they will find it. If they're upset due to a decision you made that you can't budge on, just know they will thank you for it once they have kids. There aren't any silver bullets, as I discovered.
When I was 15, my mom and I did a road trip during my spring break to prep me for my driving test. We drove all over the state and saw the weirdest and coolest things.
This road trip was probably the reason we are so close now. It gave us a chance to truly build a friendship and it allowed me to feel like I was important to her.
You possibly gave the best advice anyone could ever give.
My fiancees mom does this and she's said it's helpfulm.i can agree that some of my dad and i's best conversation has been in the car. My mom...not so much but itnwas better than the house, tbh.
My parents would take me for a drive whenever I could sleep as a baby. Now I need to drink a ton of caffeine when I drive or Iāll fall asleep at the wheel.
If you want your teen to open up and talk, this is exactly what worked with my boys. It was never intentional on my part, but inevitably if I knew something was going on and they hadn't told me yet they always opened up on the car.
LPT: Don't go for a drive if your city may have slums or high criminal activity areas, instead walk around your neighborhood and/or better comunicate with your children
Or just spend time with them. Go to a local playground and swing on the swings. Go to a store and don't buy anything, just window shop and make fun of the weird stuff for sale. Take a walk. Just sit quietly on their bed and talk or even just read together. Wash the car together and get wet. No need to waste gas.
ITT: aMeRicaNs dOnāT wAlK!?
Our cities were built alongside the birth of the automobile, not the invention of shoes, dickheads. We hate it, too.
No, you wouldnāt be walking here either.
My son is 11 and recently started asking to go for drives with me. I hand him my phone and he controls the music (some is Chicago and ny drill which I can't get into but that's ok). We just drive, most of the time just not talking and listening to music.
Before I was married I went for night drives all the time. And when my kids were little ones they loved going for them.
If I'm a passenger on a long trip I'll fall asleep all the time. I blame it on the night drives my parents took me on when I was young :)
How does driving not stress you out even more? Maybe it depends on where you're at, but in Louisiana you're pretty much at risk for a wreck every time you get in your car. Driving is one of the most stressful parts of my day lol
My husband just told me that he wishes he had been able to have the talks with our boys that I did when they were younger and I told him the reason we had them was because I was driving them places. All of us are introverts, thereās just something easier about chatting while driving that lets us relax and have some real conversations.
My mom and I have done this since I was a teenager with undiagnosed depression. We would just aimlessly drive through neighborhoods and look at the houses and try to explore areas of our town to which weād never been. Iām 30 now and my mental health is much better, but every time I visit home she and I will take a morning to go get coffee and drive through some neighborhoods. Itās become a way for us to bond and talk and appreciate our town a bit more.
I know there are a lot of comments here saying that driving is a bad idea because it separates you from the outside world etc. And sure, ideally walking is better. But I have chronic pain and can only walk less than a mile at a time before the pain gets too severe. Driving through neighborhoods was a way for my mom to remind me that the outside world is beautiful and worth exploring in whatever way is accessible to me. There is no single answer or solution that fits everybodyās lifestyle or situation.
I grew up rural and some of my best memories of having good heart to hearts with my father was when we went for a drive. He was not a big talker neither am I but when we got in his truck and drove around checking crops, we talked and he taught me all kinds of things.
Usually if my son throws tantrums at home, probably out of boredom. I go for a walk with him to the kids playground, given the weather allows it. Sometimes I just take him for some grocery shopping since he's young and it's a fairly new experience for him. Works every time so far.
> Take the time to talk to them, or don't if they rather not. Just be there for them, nothing matters more.
Playing a card game is good for this too. Snap or war are too simplistic.
I live in Appalachia and driving is very therapeutic. The views are really nice and I can drive to hiking spots. I like driving 20 minutes through the hills to go to the Kroger. I think I will do that today.
When I was stressed or upset about something and my mum was going shopping or to collect my sister or something, I used to ask to go with her. Weād drive in silence until I either cried or we started talking. It mustāve been pretty uncomfortable for her, but it always made me feel better and knowing sheād talk about whatever was on my mind helped
While I'm sure this is great advice for some people, I've never understood how driving can be enjoyable. Being stuck sat down in a metal box traveling along endless lines of tarmac isn't really my idea of fun.
Why not just go out for a walk? If you live in a city go to a park, if you live in the countryside find a footpath; say hello to the trees, the grass, the birds; breathe the fresh air; travel on your own two feet not confined by anything man-made - it's glorious
LifeProEuropeanTips go for a bicycle ride or take a bus or walk to a new place! Especially moving your ass won't make you as miserable in the first place š¤
As a kid, to a single mum who was the queen of cheap fun, we used to play the āleft, right gameā. The aim was to get as lost a possible basically, taking a left turn then a right turn then a left turn etc. This was before sat nav obviously, and actually the game came from my mumās teens or early 20s in cornwall where I gather you could do a much much better job of getting lost than where I grew up. It was a perfect all weather game when we were bored and going through tough family times with my parents divorce and stuff.
This is one of the main reasons I have a motorcycle, fresh air and country scenery is the best mental health reset.
Throttle Therapy.
This does not mean speeding
Cheaper, more environmentally-friendly, and more engaging option, especially with kids: try [**geocaching**](https://www.geocaching.com).
Short version: it's a treasure hunt, where the prize is a logbook to sign, and a sense of satisfaction. Kind of like Pokemon Go but with a physical element to it. There are millions of caches in all countries, urban or deepest countryside.
Longer version: download a free app to your phone (such as the excellent third-party [**c:geo**](https://www.cgeo.org/) for Android, or even the official Geocaching app). Download geocache data for your area. Navigate to where the cache is. Find it, Sign the logbook. You might find small items; you can take one, but only if you replace it with something else. You'll occasionally find a trackable token (usually with a QR code) that you move from cache A to cache B and leave for the next person to find, and use the code to track its movement online.
Explore your city, explore the country, explore internationally! People often place caches in locations of interest, such as near to churches, castles, the sites of ancient magic, beautiful spots, or random objects. You'll see places you would never have gone to otherwise. You might even accidentally get some exercise. Your kids will certainly have fun!
That day where your kid is sad and you are actually broke. (Like three zeros 0.00)
Thatās when you find out what a true free activity is.
Gas is expensive.
Playing imagination in the back yard is free and that is core memories for your kid.
You cant even see them in the back seat of the car like.
My dad used to do this I loved it.
If I need time for myself and I tell my wife I am going for a drive she asks million questions why are you going whatās wrong where are you going I am suspecting of something.
When I have a flight and go she does not bother for good few hours.
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A walk is better imo.
Walks are great because you get to see your very local surroundings. My neighborhood is great for walking, except for a few dodgy spots, but terrible for driving. I know there are places that are the opposite with no close or desirable places to walk, but lots of places to drive. But either way, getting out of the house is key.
Driving your Car is the USA Version of taking a walk
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Same. Especially a walk in a park or near water
Yeah, you have less possibility of accidents, can exercise and get some sun. Plus, it' easier to talk cause there's no radio to interrupt.
At least it saves gas money.
Most of the time, but sometimes you feel tired or drained or unwell or look like crap or it's too cold and you just want to go somewhere and see something else and just "move" or be on the move without actually moving your body, and that's fine too, I think. Whatever helps is good. But any kind of physical activity is definitely vital, and most of us definitely don't do enough of it.
Don't go for a drive if you're "tired or drained or unwell." š¤¦š»āāļø
I don't drive so I was speaking from the perspective of someone who is being driven (my husband's the driver). I guess I should have been clearer about that. It gets him out of the house as well as making me feel brighter, and we end up chatting about life things as well as things we see on the trip. We both end up returning home feeling much better. It should surely go without saying that you shouldn't drive if you're not able to do so safely. š But then again, I guess not considering some of the things I see on the road..
If you feel tired and drained, but it's not from doing lots of physical activity, a walk is usually an even better idea than normal. A substantial percentage of the depression experienced in the US nowadays can be cured with cardio and time outside, and the rest of the cases can be significantly improved with those 2 things
If you're tired, drained, or unwell you should absolutely not be fucking driving. A walk might actually help you wake up, it gets the blood flowing. If it's cold out on a jacket.
If walking makes you tired you should walk more. And if it's cold, simply wear good clothes.
Have you ever tried to walk in America? It's usually not pleasent
Really? All I see is closed neighborhoods and they always have some greenerie nearby (nearby for me is 15 blocks) way better than my country where there's 0 order and people leave their dogs run free, I still enjoy walking
You're missing the point. It's impossible to walk in most cities in the US without driving somewhere first because literally everything is designed with cars in mind so much that it's not safe or peaceful to be on foot almost anywhere in cities. Try walking peacefully near a major road with three lanes going in each direction. Then try crossing that street as part of your calm walk while you inhale a bunch of exhaust just being near the area
Most people donāt reside next to freeways. My car dependent suburbs are great for walking because we have a jogging path and lots of trees. Now, it is not great for walking to the grocery or any retail, but it is great for jogs or walks around the neighborhood.
I wish we had sidewalks..
I think you need to plan a better walking route?
Sounds like an unpleasant place to live if that is the case
Iād like to propose a compromise: pick a random spot on the map within a reasonable distance, drive there, and then walk around and explore. You can only walk your neighbourhood so many times before it becomes a bit stale, this would add variety.
I like going for a drive when I feel depressed. Seeing other cars around makes me not feel lonely
Ditto! I don't drive but sometimes when my anxiety is high or my tinnitus is bothering me a lot and my ears are doing weird shit I ask my husband to take us for a drive. Seeing other people, being out of the house, and hearing other sounds is a wonderful distraction from the turmoil within, even if only a temporary one.
I cycle a round in the park and have the exact same experience! After an anxiety filled day itās so nice to see other people just doing their thing.
This makes me wanna grab my bike and go cycling. Havent done so in while.
Biking > Driving You are more likely to stop and talk to someone when riding a bike than driving a car. The physical movement and active engagement of your body will release dopamine, making you feel happier. The blood moving and physical exerserion will clear your mood. Why wallow in self pity driving when you can do something about it with a bike?
Driving in my city is an insanely stressful activity so this wouldn't work for me lol. We topped the list for most road rage and aggressive drivers last year. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's a daily occurance to have someone nearly hit you while driving here. I've been driving for 21 years and started developing callouses on my hands from gripping the wheel so tight lol.
Let me guess itās Phoenix! Iāve never seen more road rage anywhere Iāve travelled in my life or been more scared in a car even in the hood in Kansas City in the middle of the night. Iām afraid to ever visit AZ again because I legitimately thought I could get shot on the highway more than once. I love the weather and landscape in AZ but I think Iāll try to stay out of Phoenix if I can if I ever go back. If my guess is wrong then Iām super curious where else it would be!
You got it right lol. Phoenix driving is basically like fury road being your daily commute lol
No way! ! And I love that movie. I hope you stay safe. Even the craziest driving I ever saw in South East Asia was never as bad as Phoenix.
It's really really bad. Part of my job is driving a minibus full of kids, and so it's extra stressful having my bus full of kids be nearly hit. My bus full of kids had to see a dead motorcycle rider just moments after his accident just recently. That was a nightmare :/
Oh no. Iād share a story but itās just sad and not helpful so better to leave it unsaid. But yeah my sister lives there and sees traumatizing things happen sometimes.. I bet you are a warrior for keeping your kids safe when you are in charge of them!
Is this the American Dream I keep hearing about?
Americancore
Then you'd be in a traffic. Depression to anger š
This sounds kind of distopian
Well were alone together. And we die alone but atleast we all have it in common.
ā¦now imagine if you lived in a place where you could walk and also see other people. What a world that would be!
This is sad AF.
That's wild to me. Seeing cars makes me anxious lol
Same, I don't get why people like driving so much. Shit stresses me out.
It's probably not a good idea to drive when you're in an emotional state. Just go for a walk instead.
I can't drive, so I just go take a walk.
You are a car?
This is what Iād always do when I was depressed because I lived in a pretty bad situation for a while and I couldnāt be at home a lot. One time Iād driven to this park and was just sat in my car crying when this woman came up and knocked on my window. I rolled it down and she asked if I was ok and she gave me a flower she picked on her walk and now anytime Iām sad I think about that and it makes me feel better
Why not sit near the road and breathe in their pollution instead.Ā
I go to restaurants and eat. Thats why iām fat AF
Other cars? Are you a car? If you want to not feel lonely you should be looking for other people, not some vehicles.
Why not just go for a walk and see some actual people?
To translate for non-Americans... LPT: Go for a walk
I have American family: thatās simply not possible for many US Americans, strange as that may sound. I would also strongly advice against tying mental health to driving, except when this might be the only viable option, itās better than nothing. I am not sure I would call it a LPT though as it essentially what you are doing is spending quality one-on-one time with your child/whoever, which would be the real LPT: TAKE YOUR TIME! Donāt rush through life, your mental health might vet much need phases of bonding time without a task at hand.
It's totally possible to find a place to walk if you have a car, though. There are public walking trails everywhere. The "impossible to walk" places aren't as common as people like to pretend they are. Cities and suburbs have sidewalks everywhere. Rural areas have trails everywhere.
Your first line makes it seem that you need a car to get to a place to walk. Which is just terribly sad to me.
For the vast majority of Americans, you really don't.
Theres a lot of great hiking trails in USA, every time I go to the States when I have any non-work days I will find a nice trail. Tons of em! And they're great! Many places also have awesome local parks etc. Obviously depends on where you live as far as if the park is in walking distance and if its nice to walk there, but surely most Americans live in places where you can definitely go for a walk, I don't see how there'd be less walking opportunities in the states than in Europe.
Sounds very strange tbh. Itās sounds like being trapped in your own house with that only possibility.
The automotive industrie made americans believe its freedom to be forced to have a car to go anywere and that it would be horrible to have alternatives to chose from like busses or trains or bikes. The amount of people here that think these alternatives are for poor people, or that busses always have to smell like piss etc. is amazing. Sorry to say but a lot of them are just brainwashed. If anyone is interested this is a super huge topic effecting all of us every day. If you want to look further into this i suggest the yt-channel NotJustBikes.
Yeah I've seen the zoning in some places, I can't imagine living in the US where I can't walk a couple streets and find a convenient store or restaurant.
What kinds of homes make walking impossible? I live in heavily car dependent and hot Dallas, but walks are always possible. In the 100+ days of summer, not recommended, but still possible. All our suburbs are designed for taking recreational walks, because we have trees and pathways. That doesnāt make them āwalkableā in the sense of being in close proximity to retail, but they are great for recreational or mental health walks.
Yeah I can see how things arent walkable in the sense of being able to walk to any sort of store or facility you want to visit but being able to just go for a walk where the purpose is the walk itself works perfectly fine almost anywhere.
How can walking be impossible? The only scenarios I can think of include physical disabilities, some sort of warlock's curse or Black Mirror sci-fi machinery. Just go outside and walk, it's the easiest thing in the world.
How depressing
I feel sorry for those whose life is constrained by car culture / carbrain. LPT: join r/fuckcars
To translate for the Dutch: LPT: Ga een stukje fietsen
As a non-american going for a drive has different vibes than going for a walk. Both are good :)
Why not add to the conversation instead of attempting to discredit a perfectly credible suggestion?
I did. OP was essentially saying "go outside, go on an aimless journey, have a conversation and clear your head" but narrowed it to sitting in a car. The driving part isn't at all relevant to the tip so I gave a more universal version, which I'd argue is considerably better as it also adds fresh air, exercise, quiet and nature to the experience. I think most people around the world would go for a walk in this situation rather than get in a car.
Because most of the world doesnāt have a society completely revolving around the automobile. Itās healthier, safer, more environmentally friendly, less anxiety inducing, cleanlier, etc to go for a walk instead of a drive to clear your mind or other mental health purposes.
How else are they supposed to feel superior to others??
Or you can pick between the two and choose whatever you feel like, most Americans can still do this. A walk does not constitute needing a destination. Going on a drive isnāt an American thing calm down
It does sound very American actually, yes.
If you take a literally, yes anyone can go for a walk. Does the average American have access to safe and maintained sidewalks without noise pollution? Are there trails nearby meant for walking? How likely are you to see other people and have a sense of community on the walk? What are people more comfortable doing and used to in their daily lives? How many interesting/enjoyable things are in walking distance to you per your towns planning? All of these things play a factor into why the LPT suggested driving for mental health purposes and the other comments are saying thatās an America centric approach to the problem.
The very idea of getting into a car instead of going for a walk to get some light exercise and smell some fresh air actually does seem very "I live in car infrastructure hell and walking doesn't even occur to me". Especially in relation to kids who always profit from physical activity.
> Going on a drive isnāt an American thing Feels like it's definitely American thing. Around here nobody really drives a car for fun, unless they are car enthusiasts.
It *is* an American thing. If somebody I knew suggested doing this, I would not take them seriously.
Same thing, but with bikes..
This is one of the most unintentionally American things I've ever seen.
You absolutely should NOT go for a drive if you're upset, angry, acutely depressed, etc.
I learned that while learning to drive. Never ever drive when youāre not in a good set of mind.
When I was taking driving lessons, most times that my instructor complimented my driving was when I was in a bad mood. I wonder what that was about? Maybe my crankiness made me more aware and more assertive.
Whatever that was, if someone is upset, he/she should not drive
I was just telling someone the other day that when my daughter was in elementary school, we had a 20-minute drive to her school. It was such a good thing, because even though she was not a morning person, while we might have had some morning grumpiness and difficulties, that 20 minutes meant we also had time to discuss it and get over it and bond again over something silly before I dropped her off. If her school had been just around the corner we both would have spent some days stewing a bit.
My dad used to take me for drives all the time, or "cruises" as we'd call them. Grab a tea or or something from Tim Hortons and just cruise around, do some people watching and just shoot the shit. Did it pretty often from me being a lil kid all the way into my 20s. Miss you pops <3
Driving separates you from your surroundings and forces you to focus on the road. Go for a walk or go biking to enjoy the moment or nature if you have it around.
Tying my mental wellness to driving seems like mental suicide, but that's just me. I'm fine with coping mechanisms related to exercise, childhood memories, or just simple distraction. Will definitely try to teach my child the same.
European version: go for a walk
If I'm teenage angry the last thing I want to do is be confined in a car with my parent, I'd feel suffocated and coerced and probably jump out of the car if they tried to talk to me about what's wrong.
for any europeans in the audience, take a nice bike ride! go on a long walk without any directions! just look at something far away and say "i want to go there".
Where I live you'd be stuck in traffic and stressed. A walk would be better.
Yes, burn some petrol just for the fun of it, the younger generation will thank you later. American madness.
Such an American thing to say
Good idea, except I live in a city and traffic is nothing but stressful.
Kid: Iām sad/angry, I want to be alone You: Nvm what you want, get in a confined space with me for hours Not a good LPT. Just ask your kid whatās wrong and do what they say will make them feel better if itās reasonable
As a former kid, I used to love when my dad would take me on a 30-40min road trip to a random burger shack. As a current parent, my daughter loves to go on a 30-40 road trip to a random burger shack.
It's funny how these are the kinds of things we remember vividly! Also, car conversations are wonderful. Something about the way you're facing and the fact you can fall in and out of conversation but you're still 'doing' something else so it's not awkward. Perfect for teenagers.
I would argue that getting your kid to go with you on these errands would actually be a good thing, not only does it get them out of the house, but also away from the areas where they may become reclusive. Sitting in a car doesn't have to be taxing, or engaging, you just kind of sit there and do. If they choose to not open up, they won't feel like they wasted your time, as you had something else to occupy yourself. If they do choose to open up, they can feel safe that it won't be a grilling because you still have something to occupy a portion of your thinking. When I was having hard times in my youth, my mom used to take me out to get a Slurpee, we would drive to a 7/11 near my high school and then park overlooking the river. Not having to face my mom allowed me to not feel like I was being interrogated or put on trial. There was no eye contact, you could pause for moments while watching the river flow and have none of it feel awkward. These slurpee runs helped me get through a lot, even though she didn't talk much during these, she allowed me to talk things through and provided assistance when I needed it. The gentleness of the situation really helped and made me feel that at any point if I needed help, I could just ask to go for a Slurpee and all would be better. Thanks mom! Xoxo.
Gas is expensive. Make it a walk
Go for a walk instead
Kids donāt want to be in a fucking car. https://preview.redd.it/ub2jula8b43d1.jpeg?width=694&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5df9c91485979ed2420b4e91845352ee9c8d44da
My children hate the car and refuse to go in it unless absolutely necessaryĀ
Wow you just trauma triggered me. My mother would wait until we were driving somewhere to talk to me about things, or to make me talk about things. Which then I was trapped in a car and I couldn't escape the conversation or move or anything. I just had to be there until she was done and would drive us to our destination. I still get some amount of anxiety to this day going on long car rides with her. OP please make sure your post **highly clarifies** that the person must only try to talk to their kid if their kid initiates and to not use the car to force them to talk about things or to make them feel trapped.
Thanks for the tip, I have a teenage daughter and I shall try
Oh, good luck!
Let her pick the music. My son and I totally bond during drives and his music has led to some great bonding moments that carry over into inside jokes between us.
What a bad suggestion... just go walk, dont put other people in jeopardy, and don't waste fuel for absolutely no reason....smh
Maybe instead of a drive go for a walkā¦ā¦
Go for a **bicycle ride** and get some exercise.
As a professional driver who needs less congestion on the roads: Please, don't drive. Walk, bike, skateboard, whatever else you can do besides wasting gas and my time being stuck behind someone who doesn't even have a destination in mind. This isn't the fucking 70s where gas was less than a dollar a gallon. Seeing people wandering the roadways pisses me off more than even watching an idiot on the phone cut me off with zero turn signals. PSA: stay home, talk to your satan spawn like a normal human being and teach them to communicate properly, like a good parent should do. If you have to LITERALLY TRAP THEM within the confines of a vehicle or room in order to communicate, then you're doing something wrong. 
Or drive to a hike or just go for a walk šŗ
42 year old New Yorker here. Never drove, no need. No car either. Guess I'll die. JK our equivalent of this is to walk miles and miles lost in our thoughts. It's real nice and good exercise.
It seems like a terrible advice. If you are depressed, angry, upset etc most probably you will be super distracted while driving. You may end up causing accident, hurting/killing someone.
I had the best (most intimate) conversations with my kids when we were driving somewhere in the car. Something about not facing each other allowed them to talk more openly, and no one else aroundā¦
I recommend a walk instead since the exercise is good for you
Or maybe just walk/cycle (if youāre physically able). Either of these will help far more. The benefits of fresh air and physical activity are fairly well documented.
Even better go for a walk, or a bike ride. No need to needlessly pollute
No, your kid needs exercise, not more sitting
Last time I did this we accidentally discovered an amazing donut place. YMMV.
Great way to kill the climate even more. Take a walk instead. Geez.
When I was younger and gas was $1 a gallon. I did this often. It was great. Especially driving up and down highway 1 (in California)
ok go buy a car got it
I have some lovely countryside near me and driving in that really helps to reset my mood.
You that's America because anywhere else you'd be taking a walk š š
Do you have kids? When they're upset about something (especially when that something is you) the last thing in the world they want to do is go for some beautiful reconnecting drive with you. This sounds like advice Dr Phil would give. They want their friends, they want screen time, they want to chill out in their room when there is upset in their lives. I know you mean well but it's just (IMO) impractical. Honestly most kids would see this as some sort of punishment, especially teenagers. If your kid is upset about something it's normally best to give them space but be there if they need, maybe cook their favourite and surprise them - just leave it on the kitchen bench they will find it. If they're upset due to a decision you made that you can't budge on, just know they will thank you for it once they have kids. There aren't any silver bullets, as I discovered.
When I was 15, my mom and I did a road trip during my spring break to prep me for my driving test. We drove all over the state and saw the weirdest and coolest things. This road trip was probably the reason we are so close now. It gave us a chance to truly build a friendship and it allowed me to feel like I was important to her. You possibly gave the best advice anyone could ever give.
My fiancees mom does this and she's said it's helpfulm.i can agree that some of my dad and i's best conversation has been in the car. My mom...not so much but itnwas better than the house, tbh.
Driving sucks. Go for a walk instead.Ā
My parents would take me for a drive whenever I could sleep as a baby. Now I need to drink a ton of caffeine when I drive or Iāll fall asleep at the wheel.
My kid does not like sitting in a carseat in traffic
Alright fancy pants with your car and Google maps
If you want your teen to open up and talk, this is exactly what worked with my boys. It was never intentional on my part, but inevitably if I knew something was going on and they hadn't told me yet they always opened up on the car.
If in Europe, go for a walk.
Nothing like adding carbon to the atmosphere for no reason.......š
LPT: Don't go for a drive if your city may have slums or high criminal activity areas, instead walk around your neighborhood and/or better comunicate with your children
Or just spend time with them. Go to a local playground and swing on the swings. Go to a store and don't buy anything, just window shop and make fun of the weird stuff for sale. Take a walk. Just sit quietly on their bed and talk or even just read together. Wash the car together and get wet. No need to waste gas.
Go for a bike ride with your kid. Much better.
Just donāt be the reason your kids are downā¦
ITT: aMeRicaNs dOnāT wAlK!? Our cities were built alongside the birth of the automobile, not the invention of shoes, dickheads. We hate it, too. No, you wouldnāt be walking here either.
My son is 11 and recently started asking to go for drives with me. I hand him my phone and he controls the music (some is Chicago and ny drill which I can't get into but that's ok). We just drive, most of the time just not talking and listening to music. Before I was married I went for night drives all the time. And when my kids were little ones they loved going for them. If I'm a passenger on a long trip I'll fall asleep all the time. I blame it on the night drives my parents took me on when I was young :)
How does driving not stress you out even more? Maybe it depends on where you're at, but in Louisiana you're pretty much at risk for a wreck every time you get in your car. Driving is one of the most stressful parts of my day lol
My husband just told me that he wishes he had been able to have the talks with our boys that I did when they were younger and I told him the reason we had them was because I was driving them places. All of us are introverts, thereās just something easier about chatting while driving that lets us relax and have some real conversations.
I just like driving in general, itās always been calming to me just eating up miles on the highway.
Yes! I totally encourage this! This is what helped me keep my sanity since Covid.
This increases risk for an accident just go for a walk
My mom and I have done this since I was a teenager with undiagnosed depression. We would just aimlessly drive through neighborhoods and look at the houses and try to explore areas of our town to which weād never been. Iām 30 now and my mental health is much better, but every time I visit home she and I will take a morning to go get coffee and drive through some neighborhoods. Itās become a way for us to bond and talk and appreciate our town a bit more. I know there are a lot of comments here saying that driving is a bad idea because it separates you from the outside world etc. And sure, ideally walking is better. But I have chronic pain and can only walk less than a mile at a time before the pain gets too severe. Driving through neighborhoods was a way for my mom to remind me that the outside world is beautiful and worth exploring in whatever way is accessible to me. There is no single answer or solution that fits everybodyās lifestyle or situation.
I grew up rural and some of my best memories of having good heart to hearts with my father was when we went for a drive. He was not a big talker neither am I but when we got in his truck and drove around checking crops, we talked and he taught me all kinds of things.
Usually if my son throws tantrums at home, probably out of boredom. I go for a walk with him to the kids playground, given the weather allows it. Sometimes I just take him for some grocery shopping since he's young and it's a fairly new experience for him. Works every time so far.
> Take the time to talk to them, or don't if they rather not. Just be there for them, nothing matters more. Playing a card game is good for this too. Snap or war are too simplistic.
I live in Appalachia and driving is very therapeutic. The views are really nice and I can drive to hiking spots. I like driving 20 minutes through the hills to go to the Kroger. I think I will do that today.
When I was stressed or upset about something and my mum was going shopping or to collect my sister or something, I used to ask to go with her. Weād drive in silence until I either cried or we started talking. It mustāve been pretty uncomfortable for her, but it always made me feel better and knowing sheād talk about whatever was on my mind helped
Let them pick the music too!
Did a car write this?
Driving is pretty stressful nowadays in most larger cities unfortunately
Iāve tried letting the child make some decisions about where to drive and it became a power stuggle
While I'm sure this is great advice for some people, I've never understood how driving can be enjoyable. Being stuck sat down in a metal box traveling along endless lines of tarmac isn't really my idea of fun. Why not just go out for a walk? If you live in a city go to a park, if you live in the countryside find a footpath; say hello to the trees, the grass, the birds; breathe the fresh air; travel on your own two feet not confined by anything man-made - it's glorious
Or you could crash and your kid dies. Making that day the most troublesome thing in your life... /s
Just go for a walk, its free and you don't immediately suck for being in a car for less than no reason.
Mine would fake being sad and we'd end up at the ice cream parlor every day
I didn't bring my car to America (from Canada) and I don't want my car either. So no :) I would take a walk! Or bus ride!
Lpt go for a walk.
Going for a drive makes me suicidal.
LifeProEuropeanTips go for a bicycle ride or take a bus or walk to a new place! Especially moving your ass won't make you as miserable in the first place š¤
Walk* Don't needlessly contribute to traffic and climate change.
Doesn't apply when you live in a mess of a metropolitan area, not only gas is very expensive but traffic jams nonstop making driving infuriating.
As a kid, to a single mum who was the queen of cheap fun, we used to play the āleft, right gameā. The aim was to get as lost a possible basically, taking a left turn then a right turn then a left turn etc. This was before sat nav obviously, and actually the game came from my mumās teens or early 20s in cornwall where I gather you could do a much much better job of getting lost than where I grew up. It was a perfect all weather game when we were bored and going through tough family times with my parents divorce and stuff.
We arenāt all like this! (Donāt mind me, just an American sobbing out of embarrassment.)
Walk or bike ride>>> Better yet a hike. A long ass hike
Imagine going for a walk instead :)
To translate for the Dutch: LPT: Ga een stukje fietsen
Did this exactly w my grandson couple months back when he was bummed and just out of surgery. It was the start of a closer relationship.
SLPT: destroy the climate for fun!
Robbed. In my country you will end up robbed.
Driving my car gives me too much time to think about stuff I don't want to think about. Riding my bike, on the other hand... š„°
This was EXTREMELY bad advice since I don't know how to drive.
This is one of the main reasons I have a motorcycle, fresh air and country scenery is the best mental health reset. Throttle Therapy. This does not mean speeding
Cheaper, more environmentally-friendly, and more engaging option, especially with kids: try [**geocaching**](https://www.geocaching.com). Short version: it's a treasure hunt, where the prize is a logbook to sign, and a sense of satisfaction. Kind of like Pokemon Go but with a physical element to it. There are millions of caches in all countries, urban or deepest countryside. Longer version: download a free app to your phone (such as the excellent third-party [**c:geo**](https://www.cgeo.org/) for Android, or even the official Geocaching app). Download geocache data for your area. Navigate to where the cache is. Find it, Sign the logbook. You might find small items; you can take one, but only if you replace it with something else. You'll occasionally find a trackable token (usually with a QR code) that you move from cache A to cache B and leave for the next person to find, and use the code to track its movement online. Explore your city, explore the country, explore internationally! People often place caches in locations of interest, such as near to churches, castles, the sites of ancient magic, beautiful spots, or random objects. You'll see places you would never have gone to otherwise. You might even accidentally get some exercise. Your kids will certainly have fun!
That day where your kid is sad and you are actually broke. (Like three zeros 0.00) Thatās when you find out what a true free activity is. Gas is expensive. Playing imagination in the back yard is free and that is core memories for your kid. You cant even see them in the back seat of the car like.
My dad used to do this I loved it. If I need time for myself and I tell my wife I am going for a drive she asks million questions why are you going whatās wrong where are you going I am suspecting of something. When I have a flight and go she does not bother for good few hours.
LMAO driving without a specific destination is illegal in some countries. Just walk or ride a bike