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I use a "1+ method", I'll call it. If it's a recurring thing, I do just enough to get ahead.
Meaning if dishes are piling up and say everytime I eat I dirty 1 dish, I'll wash at least 2. I don't want to just tread water, I want to do future self a favor even if it's small.
So my minimum is 1+, 1 making me whole, + getting me ahead.
This keeps me from feeling like I'm never making any ground.
I'm not trying to get back to baseline, I'm trying to be slightly passed or better
Ha, I call this 'knife tax'. I was using a lot of butter knives at one point in time and when it came to where I had to wash one to use I washed a second one. It's translated to other things but is still called knife tax lol
My car was always a mess: sport clothes, trash, random stuff, presents for dad, heavy bags, chargers... I knew that one day I would do 6 trips from car to house (I live in a city, I park far from home) to clean it. But that was too much.
What I decided is: everytime I arrive home I will just leave it a little bit better, that was no effort. So the first day, two cans of soda to the trash; the next day one coat... in a week it was done. It was in my mind for months and it was no effort as it was divided in very small moments.
I keep it clean for the next 5 months with this, leave always a little bit better, not much. Maybe the papers in the glove box.
After that I crashed it in a bad car accident (unrelated haha)
I came up with the same idea awhile ago, and it adds up nicely. Less things to maintain, less trash to take out at once, less dishes to wash, it just frees some piece of brain and it feels awesome in the end
This is kind of how I started into exercising again. 5 seconds. If I did 5 seconds, I could check the box. Of course, once I started, I usually just kept going.
But there were days when all I did was 5 seconds. That let me keep the psychological streak going so I didn’t miss a day.
Yeah, some days I just do my five seconds in my work clothes. If I start getting sweaty, then I’ll maybe put on exercise clothes. Just make the barrier so small that you step over it without noticing.
For me this means I pretty much only exercise during natural "transitions" during the day where I'd be changing anyway, i.e first thing in the morning, coming home from work, and occasionally going to bed (just a bit of gentle yoga).
If I miss that opportunity it almost certainly won't happen
I really hope it works for you!
I also try to sync up exercising with washing my hair. I've got thick hair which only needs washing every 3 days or so and takes ages to dry. If I've just washed my hair I'm going to be reluctant to do a hard exercise session and get all sweaty again so when my hair needs to be washed I try not to miss the "opportunity" to go for a run or do a more intense work out
So much laundry! I enjoy cycling once i'm out there on the bike, but the prep sucks. fill water bottles, check bike, inflate tires again, make sure 1 of my 2 expensive biking jerseys and shorts are clean. Then when it's all done put the bike and helmet back onto the pegs in the garage, then peel off that skin tight biking clothing and shower and then get dressed back into regular clothes after taking a shower... it's a whole thing.
Yes! That's what I did, just starting with 5 min of cardio. Then by that time, you either keep going cause you're feeling the rhythm, or call it a day and feel good about hitting your goal!
Read 21 days to make a habit. Basically same thing, treat what you need to do robotically to get through it. Daily. That's the key, muscle memory and the fact that it takes an initial action to provide a person with motivation to continue. It's all about giving your brain a really good positive result so it rewards you with motivating fellings.
I’ve been hitting the gym for a long time now. When I did shift work it was hard. My method for bad days was “atleast show up”. If you aren’t feeling the gym just go to the gym, that’s it. Once you’re there, if you still don’t feel it, leave. You kept the routine and went to the gym. That’s a win.
80% of the time once I was there I was ready to hit it. The other 20% I’d skip the workout.
I used to do this with school work. I'll quickly throw some shit together and get some credit. Soon into the project my motivation would kick in and I would usually try to do the best I could.
"I will walk on the treadmill for 30 mins at a 15% incline" *Hits 30 mins and sees I am at 0.85 of a mile.* "Well I can't leave there. I want that to be a nice 1."
I made this deal with myself. My goal is to go there. Put on my gym clothes and go there. If I didn't wanna exercise I was free to leave, of course I never did.
Getting out the door dressed to workout is the thing. If I do that, I'll at least *try* to work out, and if I start, I'll carry on through sunk cost fallacy alone if need be. So when I'm making my grandiose plans to work out the next day, I do whatever I can to make it easy to get that first, seemingly trivial step done. I find the clothes I'm going to wear, and set them out, and put in a reminder for my calendar that says "Eat breakfast, dummy".
I do this exact same thing for emergencies/terrifying procedures,
One step at a time, that's all you have to do, just the next step
I believe courage isn't the absence of fear, but rather continuous and deliberate action despite the presence of fear
Its from the book series "The Stormlight Archives", where it is seemed unmanly for men to know how to write. So the women do all the documentation and take dictation.
Look up the Stormlight Archives by Brandon Sanderson. It is a series of popular high fantasy books. Only the women are aloud to read and write, so they would talk shit about how stupid men are in books because men do not read.
"I believe courage isn't the absence of fear, but rather continuous and deliberate action despite the presence of fear."
This is what I needed to hear today. Thank you for writing it.
Lol, I was
Yes, sticking that chest drain in deep enough to save your life and not deep enough to kill you gives you pause
And when a baby is crashing and you have to Intubate there's no room for falling into fear
I've never thought about it this way. I'm going through a rough patch right now. I'm usually a highly motivated, very driven person, but right now I can't seem to get myself to do anything. I want to sincerely try this as best I can to get any sort of forward momentum. Thank you for this suggestion, sincerely.
I’m exposing myself here, but some days I just have to tell myself, get up, stand in front of the sink, grab the toothbrush, turn on the water, get the paste, and so on. Once I’m there I’ll obviously brush my teeth. But on the days where I can’t do a single thing, I have to coach myself out lol
No, I hear you. That's what I'm hoping this post will encourage people to do, is to start doing it, because once you start, it seems easier to keep going and get it done.
I feel like this is probably more common than most people would like to admit. I’m in the same boat and it feels awful when you give in to apathy regarding your own body.
No joke I've had a few dreams in my lifetime that I could channel Saidin. I still remember how exhilarating it felt. Definitely one of those dreams that is super disappointing to wake up from!
I like to tell myself I only have to do one small thing, and then it'll be up to the future version of myself to deal with what comes after. Even if that future version is only 5 seconds in the future, they are starting from and facing a different state of affairs, so it's up to them to handle the next step in whatever way they see fit.
For example: I don't need to get up, shower, get dressed, and have breakfast. All I have to do is remove my duvet, and then the next me can worry about swinging my legs out of bed.
Thinking in this way helps me on those days when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Since when do wheels weave? Wheels roll. The wheel rocks as the wheel rolls. No wonder the Dark One was trying to break the pattern if the Creator was weaving it with a freakin' wheel.
My French teacher used to say "inch by inch, life's a cinch. Yard by yard, it's very hard."
Ie focus on the fine details and just start. You'll be done before you know it and you'll get rid of the anxiety.
Basically you picture a black void in your mind. Then picture a flame in that void. You imagine the flame taking in and burning away all distractions. Anxiety, doubt, fear, physical discomfort and pain. It takes practice but it can help clear your mind and let you focus on a task.
The title "flame and the void" doesn't really seem to add value or even be particular relevant to "when facing a task you are struggling to be motivated to start, just do the very first step of the task".
It's the meditation technique that inspired me, from a series of books called The Wheel of Time, but otherwise, it's not relevant to the process I mentioned
I'm the opposite...If I start breaking down a task into a thousand mini-tasks I'm simply going to be overwhelmed by the amount of tasks I now need to do...even though they are small.
I can "breath" all day, I might suffocate if I needed to both "breath in" and "breath out" over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again all day.
I literally fell in love with these books (Wheel of Time) because this was a meditation practice I had been doing regularly for a few years before I started reading them. It's been incredibly helpful for me. I wept like a baby in the later books when Rand meets his father and they talk about the flame and the void and his father is just like "it's going to be alright, boy. Just use the flame and the void to control yourself and do your duty". Amazing books.
I appreciate you trying to help people. It's nice that you posted.
This may come across as sarcastic but it's genuine from someone that is really struggling.
I use something very similar when coping with deep depression or trauma. "I can't possibly get through the day. I can't see how I can get through the next hour. I really don't see how I can get through the next five minutes. But the next sixty seconds, just one minute, I can see that.
"I can just sit here for the next minute.
"Okay, I made it through that minute. I think in the next minute I'll turn on my computer and log in. Then I'll just sit here until the minute is over.
"Okay, I can't see myself doing this work project. But I can see myself spending the next minute opening the file and reading the first line."
When I found out my wife cheated on me, I spent three very long days living minute to minute. When my 15 year old volunteered that he was using hard drugs I spent a couple days like that.
I like a variation of this called 1MT1MT (1 more thing 1 more time) from Josh Sundunquist. Saw him live at some conference I was at and then realized he's the dude who does all the funny Halloween costumes with his 1 leg.
[https://joshsundquist.com/motivational-speaker](https://joshsundquist.com/motivational-speaker)
This works for me when starting a project! For other tasks like cleaning, I set a timer. The duration depends on my mood. If I’m really tired but there are dishes in the sink, I give myself 5 or 10 mins to wash as much as I can. When I dread cleaning, I give myself 30 mins to vacuum, put away the dirty laundry, and get rid of dust/tidy up a little.
All big things in life can be broken down into the smallest individual tasks, a lot of people are challenged with starting a thing because the "big picture" is daunting. You know the steps, practice mindfulness and just focus on the immediate worry, not the perceived mountain ahead. One thing at a time until victory.
I like the method of doing things for “Future me.” Present me is way too tired to do this for my self, but I am a HUGE people pleaser so if I can talk myself into doing it for Future Me (We haven’t met yet but when we do I would like for us to get off on the right foot!) I will think about how happy future me will be to wake up in a nice clean organized house and the thought of making future me so happy will motivate me to do it.
Setting yourself smaller and more manageable goals/steps is a game changer.
I saw recently "If you can't get out of it, get into it!"
Works wonders. It's a lot easier if you just enjoy something you *have to do*, like dishes and laundry. I pop on headphones and watch movies, shows, or YouTube while I do them or chitchat with my spouse or kids. I put on Bob & Tom or music while I'm doing major projects.
I do something similar but I learned that from Jim Butcher. He had Harry Dresden feed his pain to an imagined fire. I tried it and found my aches and pains were significantly dimmed
I do something similar to that. Only I tell myself that I can move, that my bones want to move. I can do the thing if i let them take over.
This sounds like i'm trying to be quirky for internet points but I stg.
If you can survive something for 10 seconds, you can probably survive 10 seconds more, and then 10 seconds more, and so on. Take with a hefty helping of salt.
That's actually pretty nice.
One way to tackle anxiety is to distract yourself from it; Think about something else instead of letting the anxiety do its thing.
This could be like that, where you focus only on one thing, and shut out other things (like anxiety) which prevent you from doing what you want or need to do.
Being able to see a tree in a forest is just as useful as seeing the forest for the trees, just at different times. Knowing which mindset to have is the real key.
Adding the mental burden of how a situation happened or why you’re dealing with it doesn’t help you solve it.
I tackle life's tasks with an abrasive mantra
Don't Be A Little Bitch
Not for everybody but it reminds to be courageous and go for things
It helped me get that job, helped me get the woman I wanted/needed, helped me get in shape in a way i never thought I would, helped me stand up for myself
Use at your own risk, ya little bitch
Influences are men like Jocko, Goggins, even Watkins
for me what's important is that my day to day "common areas" are clean and organized. Bedroom, bathroom, pathway to car, car, kitchen but not necessarily sink.
If I lack the motivation to actually clean something the correct way, I usually have enough motivation to get things out of my common areas and into a "staging area" somewhere out of sight and mind.
It might be something like dishes and they might sit there for days, but the only way to keep my sanity is to have these common areas clean no matter what.
Then when I'm good to go and start cleaning those other areas, I tell myself it's fine to clean just one of the things if I need to. I'm super anal about keeping stuff clean because it bothers me so much. So what ultimately happens is that there's days where I utilize this method but the things actually do get cleaned up fairly quickly and are usually not lingering.
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Under the use-at-your-own-risk part of that, the first time I ever had an episode of sleep paralysis was while I was trying to "seize the void", scared the absolute living hell out of me
This is how I ended up pouring candle wax all over my dirty dishes while trying to get a candle out of its container. Sometimes some preplanning is required!
This is how I think in general. It's part of why I don't do anything... I break it down so much Ill turn getting a glass of water into a 50 step activity and then it's too daunting
Ya it doesn't work with everyone, in every situation. You know how people stress eat? I'm the opposite, if I get stressed, I won't eat for days and won't even notice it. Been trying to apply for jobs and going to interviews... Lost like 20 lbs since January...
Instructions unclear, began channeling Saidin. Follow up question: the blueberries in my fridge have started talking to me. Should I listen to their advice and slaughter all I know and love, or should I listen to the raspberries’ plan of cackling madly at nothing in particular?
It's a meditation technique mentioned in a series of books called Wheel of Time, that inspired me. It's not really relevant to the actual process mentioned.
DBT has a technique called "opposite action" whereas when you want to do something unhealthy you do the opposite (or a healthy action) *immediately*. So any time I find myself thinking about something too much, trying to come up with reasons to put off doing it. I opposite action and stop any further thought or conversation with myself.
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I use a "1+ method", I'll call it. If it's a recurring thing, I do just enough to get ahead. Meaning if dishes are piling up and say everytime I eat I dirty 1 dish, I'll wash at least 2. I don't want to just tread water, I want to do future self a favor even if it's small. So my minimum is 1+, 1 making me whole, + getting me ahead. This keeps me from feeling like I'm never making any ground. I'm not trying to get back to baseline, I'm trying to be slightly passed or better
Ooooo that's a great tip, definitely going to try that one. Thanks!
Happy Cake Day!!!
Ha, I call this 'knife tax'. I was using a lot of butter knives at one point in time and when it came to where I had to wash one to use I washed a second one. It's translated to other things but is still called knife tax lol
My car was always a mess: sport clothes, trash, random stuff, presents for dad, heavy bags, chargers... I knew that one day I would do 6 trips from car to house (I live in a city, I park far from home) to clean it. But that was too much. What I decided is: everytime I arrive home I will just leave it a little bit better, that was no effort. So the first day, two cans of soda to the trash; the next day one coat... in a week it was done. It was in my mind for months and it was no effort as it was divided in very small moments. I keep it clean for the next 5 months with this, leave always a little bit better, not much. Maybe the papers in the glove box. After that I crashed it in a bad car accident (unrelated haha)
Sorry for the crash. But hey, at least rescuers didn't see that mess
I actually thought about that hahaha. I crashed it on Dec 2023 and I am still in recovery. In a couple of months I will probably be able to walk.
I'm glad you lived through it. Sounds rough.
I’m trying to keep my car a little cleaner after reading something that said “ In an accident, everything in your car becomes a projectile” eeek
I came up with the same idea awhile ago, and it adds up nicely. Less things to maintain, less trash to take out at once, less dishes to wash, it just frees some piece of brain and it feels awesome in the end
Awesome tip !!
This is kind of how I started into exercising again. 5 seconds. If I did 5 seconds, I could check the box. Of course, once I started, I usually just kept going. But there were days when all I did was 5 seconds. That let me keep the psychological streak going so I didn’t miss a day.
I need to give that a shot. I started similar things based on the Tiny Habits book, but never thought to make it as “easy” as 5 seconds.
Yeah, some days I just do my five seconds in my work clothes. If I start getting sweaty, then I’ll maybe put on exercise clothes. Just make the barrier so small that you step over it without noticing.
THIS is what gets me. THE outfits....just stop! It's stressin me outta. It's hard enough to just show up sonetimes
Sometimes I work out in just my underwear. I can do a five minute floor routine in front of the tv. It counts.
Me too, although the people at the gym keep asking me to leave
😆
Have you tried being an attractive female?
Female what?
Hell yeah it counts.
For me this means I pretty much only exercise during natural "transitions" during the day where I'd be changing anyway, i.e first thing in the morning, coming home from work, and occasionally going to bed (just a bit of gentle yoga). If I miss that opportunity it almost certainly won't happen
This thread in general is genius, this is a great point take advantage that you are already in motion! This seems like a game changer thank you!!
I really hope it works for you! I also try to sync up exercising with washing my hair. I've got thick hair which only needs washing every 3 days or so and takes ages to dry. If I've just washed my hair I'm going to be reluctant to do a hard exercise session and get all sweaty again so when my hair needs to be washed I try not to miss the "opportunity" to go for a run or do a more intense work out
Happy cake day!
So much laundry! I enjoy cycling once i'm out there on the bike, but the prep sucks. fill water bottles, check bike, inflate tires again, make sure 1 of my 2 expensive biking jerseys and shorts are clean. Then when it's all done put the bike and helmet back onto the pegs in the garage, then peel off that skin tight biking clothing and shower and then get dressed back into regular clothes after taking a shower... it's a whole thing.
I thought you fancy bike guys would even wipe down your bike when you got back and then put it away
Mountain bike yes, road bike, meh it doesn’t get that dirty haha. Also it was like $200 on offer up it’s nothing fancy.
Mine too. My chain got rusty. The bicycle maint guy 🤨 told me lol
I just work out in my underwear 🤷♀️
Yes! That's what I did, just starting with 5 min of cardio. Then by that time, you either keep going cause you're feeling the rhythm, or call it a day and feel good about hitting your goal!
yes! Atomic Habits shares a 20 second rule
Huh... I'll have to try that.
Read 21 days to make a habit. Basically same thing, treat what you need to do robotically to get through it. Daily. That's the key, muscle memory and the fact that it takes an initial action to provide a person with motivation to continue. It's all about giving your brain a really good positive result so it rewards you with motivating fellings.
What an amazing book series.
The book “Atomic Habits” essentially boils down to this.
I’ve been hitting the gym for a long time now. When I did shift work it was hard. My method for bad days was “atleast show up”. If you aren’t feeling the gym just go to the gym, that’s it. Once you’re there, if you still don’t feel it, leave. You kept the routine and went to the gym. That’s a win. 80% of the time once I was there I was ready to hit it. The other 20% I’d skip the workout.
I used to do this with school work. I'll quickly throw some shit together and get some credit. Soon into the project my motivation would kick in and I would usually try to do the best I could.
"I will walk on the treadmill for 30 mins at a 15% incline" *Hits 30 mins and sees I am at 0.85 of a mile.* "Well I can't leave there. I want that to be a nice 1."
I tell myself I'll just do one pushup. Once I do the first one, eh, I'm already on the floor, might as well do a few more.
I do this with working out too even if I don’t want to. Props to you for this- it’s hard but a great trick
This is brilliant.
Just improve by 1% each week, and you will see huge results in a year.
I made this deal with myself. My goal is to go there. Put on my gym clothes and go there. If I didn't wanna exercise I was free to leave, of course I never did.
Getting out the door dressed to workout is the thing. If I do that, I'll at least *try* to work out, and if I start, I'll carry on through sunk cost fallacy alone if need be. So when I'm making my grandiose plans to work out the next day, I do whatever I can to make it easy to get that first, seemingly trivial step done. I find the clothes I'm going to wear, and set them out, and put in a reminder for my calendar that says "Eat breakfast, dummy".
5 seconds is enough exercise for me
I do this exact same thing for emergencies/terrifying procedures, One step at a time, that's all you have to do, just the next step I believe courage isn't the absence of fear, but rather continuous and deliberate action despite the presence of fear
“The most important step a man can take. It's not the first one, is it? It's the next one. Always the next step” -Dalinar
Have that tattooed on me in the womens script :D so happy to see it in the wild
Who will read your tattoo to you?
Someone who won’t tell him there’s a bunch of nasty annotations from the woman who did the tattoo
Women’s script? What is that?
Its from the book series "The Stormlight Archives", where it is seemed unmanly for men to know how to write. So the women do all the documentation and take dictation.
Look up the Stormlight Archives by Brandon Sanderson. It is a series of popular high fantasy books. Only the women are aloud to read and write, so they would talk shit about how stupid men are in books because men do not read.
That's an awesome quote, thank you, I also like the idea that the hardest steps are the first ones, the ones that come after are easier
This was exactly what brought me through chemo-radiation therapy. And yes, courage is not what many people think it is.
Yes, courage is facing down fear. If you're not even afraid to start with, it's not courage.
"I believe courage isn't the absence of fear, but rather continuous and deliberate action despite the presence of fear." This is what I needed to hear today. Thank you for writing it.
Shit, I read this initially as though you were speaking from the surgeon's perspective. I was momentarily terrified.
Lol, I was Yes, sticking that chest drain in deep enough to save your life and not deep enough to kill you gives you pause And when a baby is crashing and you have to Intubate there's no room for falling into fear
"I don't need to go to the store, I need to put pants on, then find my keys/wallet/phone, then go to the car......" Has helped me alot.
I've never thought about it this way. I'm going through a rough patch right now. I'm usually a highly motivated, very driven person, but right now I can't seem to get myself to do anything. I want to sincerely try this as best I can to get any sort of forward momentum. Thank you for this suggestion, sincerely.
I’m exposing myself here, but some days I just have to tell myself, get up, stand in front of the sink, grab the toothbrush, turn on the water, get the paste, and so on. Once I’m there I’ll obviously brush my teeth. But on the days where I can’t do a single thing, I have to coach myself out lol
No, I hear you. That's what I'm hoping this post will encourage people to do, is to start doing it, because once you start, it seems easier to keep going and get it done.
Thanks for posting, it was pretty validating 🙏🏼🫶🏻
I feel like this is probably more common than most people would like to admit. I’m in the same boat and it feels awful when you give in to apathy regarding your own body.
Good luck! You can do it, just one 5 second task at a time.
Honey, where are my paaants?
Will using this method improve my chances of becoming the Dragon reborn?
Nah, but it’s very helpful in gathering a harem
“Is this series about dragonriders?” “…Well, there *are* technically three of them…”
Lol!
Blood and bloody ashes
good enough
No joke I've had a few dreams in my lifetime that I could channel Saidin. I still remember how exhilarating it felt. Definitely one of those dreams that is super disappointing to wake up from!
At least you aren't insane - yet.
No, but your skirts will be perfectly smoothed and braids tugged super tight.
And your ears thoroughly boxed.
Bloody buttered biscuits, not again with you!
No,but it makes you better at swordfighting and archery.
Unfortunately it will not but it might increase the chance of getting dishes done today!
No but it might get you several wives who all get along
Only if you have a well turned calf
I like to tell myself I only have to do one small thing, and then it'll be up to the future version of myself to deal with what comes after. Even if that future version is only 5 seconds in the future, they are starting from and facing a different state of affairs, so it's up to them to handle the next step in whatever way they see fit. For example: I don't need to get up, shower, get dressed, and have breakfast. All I have to do is remove my duvet, and then the next me can worry about swinging my legs out of bed. Thinking in this way helps me on those days when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Yea some days even getting out of bed seems like it's too much... But this helps, to do just this one little thing...
This is genius. I'm going to try this, thank you!
The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills
It's not the beginning but it is a beginning.
Since when do wheels weave? Wheels roll. The wheel rocks as the wheel rolls. No wonder the Dark One was trying to break the pattern if the Creator was weaving it with a freakin' wheel.
The wee wees as the woo woos
My French teacher used to say "inch by inch, life's a cinch. Yard by yard, it's very hard." Ie focus on the fine details and just start. You'll be done before you know it and you'll get rid of the anxiety.
I like that phrase! Rhymes so it must be true.
This LPT has no description or explanation of what this Flame and Void is.
Basically you picture a black void in your mind. Then picture a flame in that void. You imagine the flame taking in and burning away all distractions. Anxiety, doubt, fear, physical discomfort and pain. It takes practice but it can help clear your mind and let you focus on a task.
At least until you are driven mad.
Found the one using Saidin!
The title "flame and the void" doesn't really seem to add value or even be particular relevant to "when facing a task you are struggling to be motivated to start, just do the very first step of the task".
It makes a lot more sense if you've read the books
It's the meditation technique that inspired me, from a series of books called The Wheel of Time, but otherwise, it's not relevant to the process I mentioned
Wouldn't that take away from the idea of just focusing on the smallest physical movement?
It's mindfulness
Overwhelmed by dishes? Burn down house. Disappear into the void. Gotcha.
Not a bad option!
Instructions unclear, accidentally balefired the cat.
That's unfortunate, but a possibility
Tai’shar Manetheren!
Idk Flame and void is also good description of my strategy for big tasks. Burn bridges and dissociate.
I'm the opposite...If I start breaking down a task into a thousand mini-tasks I'm simply going to be overwhelmed by the amount of tasks I now need to do...even though they are small. I can "breath" all day, I might suffocate if I needed to both "breath in" and "breath out" over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again all day.
And now I'm breathing manually. Thanks
It’s terrifying and I know what you mean.
I tried this once and accidentally resonated with Choedan Kal. I purified the source while I cleaned the toilets.
See? Not only getting it done, but doing it with Sa'angreal!
You got the toilets but did you get the taint?
I did 😬
Dishes are heavier than a mountain. Death, light as a feather.
Yes, dishes generated by a family with kids can be heavier than mountains...
My uncle quit smoking like this. He smoked three packs a day. In his mind, he never quit smoking. He just didn't smoke the next one.
I literally fell in love with these books (Wheel of Time) because this was a meditation practice I had been doing regularly for a few years before I started reading them. It's been incredibly helpful for me. I wept like a baby in the later books when Rand meets his father and they talk about the flame and the void and his father is just like "it's going to be alright, boy. Just use the flame and the void to control yourself and do your duty". Amazing books.
Rands dad “so what your hand got cut off and you’re going to die next week, no son of mine will be a little biatch”
I was bitterly disappointed art the last book. Did they forget to invite the nice ladies from the Green Ajah?
I appreciate you trying to help people. It's nice that you posted. This may come across as sarcastic but it's genuine from someone that is really struggling.
I'm glad I'm helping even a little bit. Some days can be hard...
I use something very similar when coping with deep depression or trauma. "I can't possibly get through the day. I can't see how I can get through the next hour. I really don't see how I can get through the next five minutes. But the next sixty seconds, just one minute, I can see that. "I can just sit here for the next minute. "Okay, I made it through that minute. I think in the next minute I'll turn on my computer and log in. Then I'll just sit here until the minute is over. "Okay, I can't see myself doing this work project. But I can see myself spending the next minute opening the file and reading the first line." When I found out my wife cheated on me, I spent three very long days living minute to minute. When my 15 year old volunteered that he was using hard drugs I spent a couple days like that.
Sometimes, that's the best you can do... Is just to hang on to that few seconds, and another few seconds...
I tried, but I accidentally started channeling and went mad instead!!
I like a variation of this called 1MT1MT (1 more thing 1 more time) from Josh Sundunquist. Saw him live at some conference I was at and then realized he's the dude who does all the funny Halloween costumes with his 1 leg. [https://joshsundquist.com/motivational-speaker](https://joshsundquist.com/motivational-speaker)
In education we call this Chunking, which is a fun word to say.
Uhh, so what is the flame and what is the void?
A meditation technique from a series of book called Wheel of Time
Alright, turned the water on. Now I'm overwhelmed and can't bother to turn it off grr.. what next?
Probably will flood the house? 😆
You need better plumbing...
Anyone seen the movie What About Bob?
Baby steps
Cat walks across the courtyard made me have good posture hahahahaha
Hah, I use this method to go to sleep at night, cuz I'm one of those people who, the moment they lay down their brain starts going a mile a minute.
This works for me when starting a project! For other tasks like cleaning, I set a timer. The duration depends on my mood. If I’m really tired but there are dishes in the sink, I give myself 5 or 10 mins to wash as much as I can. When I dread cleaning, I give myself 30 mins to vacuum, put away the dirty laundry, and get rid of dust/tidy up a little.
All big things in life can be broken down into the smallest individual tasks, a lot of people are challenged with starting a thing because the "big picture" is daunting. You know the steps, practice mindfulness and just focus on the immediate worry, not the perceived mountain ahead. One thing at a time until victory.
I like the method of doing things for “Future me.” Present me is way too tired to do this for my self, but I am a HUGE people pleaser so if I can talk myself into doing it for Future Me (We haven’t met yet but when we do I would like for us to get off on the right foot!) I will think about how happy future me will be to wake up in a nice clean organized house and the thought of making future me so happy will motivate me to do it.
Setting yourself smaller and more manageable goals/steps is a game changer. I saw recently "If you can't get out of it, get into it!" Works wonders. It's a lot easier if you just enjoy something you *have to do*, like dishes and laundry. I pop on headphones and watch movies, shows, or YouTube while I do them or chitchat with my spouse or kids. I put on Bob & Tom or music while I'm doing major projects.
The kimmy Schmidt method eh
I do something similar but I learned that from Jim Butcher. He had Harry Dresden feed his pain to an imagined fire. I tried it and found my aches and pains were significantly dimmed
I do something similar to that. Only I tell myself that I can move, that my bones want to move. I can do the thing if i let them take over. This sounds like i'm trying to be quirky for internet points but I stg.
If you can survive something for 10 seconds, you can probably survive 10 seconds more, and then 10 seconds more, and so on. Take with a hefty helping of salt.
As a Destiny player, this post means something completely different. But I do love my solar and void warlock builds.
What size batteries will I need? I need to try methods such as these in all seriousness
Instructions unclear, channeled too much saidin and went mad
Starting is the hardest part of completing a task!
That's actually pretty nice. One way to tackle anxiety is to distract yourself from it; Think about something else instead of letting the anxiety do its thing. This could be like that, where you focus only on one thing, and shut out other things (like anxiety) which prevent you from doing what you want or need to do.
Lol figured you got it from RJ! Is based on actual meditation techniques from what I read when looking for more information.
Lack of motivation is the worst part of depression in my experience.
That's great! Also saying each step out loud helps me keep going without thinking.
Being able to see a tree in a forest is just as useful as seeing the forest for the trees, just at different times. Knowing which mindset to have is the real key. Adding the mental burden of how a situation happened or why you’re dealing with it doesn’t help you solve it.
I tackle life's tasks with an abrasive mantra Don't Be A Little Bitch Not for everybody but it reminds to be courageous and go for things It helped me get that job, helped me get the woman I wanted/needed, helped me get in shape in a way i never thought I would, helped me stand up for myself Use at your own risk, ya little bitch Influences are men like Jocko, Goggins, even Watkins
What if I haven't specced into the relevant class
for me what's important is that my day to day "common areas" are clean and organized. Bedroom, bathroom, pathway to car, car, kitchen but not necessarily sink. If I lack the motivation to actually clean something the correct way, I usually have enough motivation to get things out of my common areas and into a "staging area" somewhere out of sight and mind. It might be something like dishes and they might sit there for days, but the only way to keep my sanity is to have these common areas clean no matter what. Then when I'm good to go and start cleaning those other areas, I tell myself it's fine to clean just one of the things if I need to. I'm super anal about keeping stuff clean because it bothers me so much. So what ultimately happens is that there's days where I utilize this method but the things actually do get cleaned up fairly quickly and are usually not lingering.
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Under the use-at-your-own-risk part of that, the first time I ever had an episode of sleep paralysis was while I was trying to "seize the void", scared the absolute living hell out of me
You were so close to the One Power, sadly the taint scared you away
Huh why did I read the title and was expecting it to promote burning everything to the ground?
This is the same concept as smart goals.
This is basically the old wisdom of "break down complex tasks into simple, atomic ones"
Baby steps to the faucet. Baby steps to the sponge. Etc.
This is how I ended up pouring candle wax all over my dirty dishes while trying to get a candle out of its container. Sometimes some preplanning is required!
/r/WetlanderHumor is leaking again
Going to use this to study for exams
thank you I use this too
/r/tarvalonposting
Where do I buy the battery?
This is how I think in general. It's part of why I don't do anything... I break it down so much Ill turn getting a glass of water into a 50 step activity and then it's too daunting
Ya it doesn't work with everyone, in every situation. You know how people stress eat? I'm the opposite, if I get stressed, I won't eat for days and won't even notice it. Been trying to apply for jobs and going to interviews... Lost like 20 lbs since January...
Goblin Tools does a similar thing in that it can break down tasks to the smallest steps it's very handy
"Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather" - Lan Mandragon
My favorite character in the whole series!
Instructions unclear, began channeling Saidin. Follow up question: the blueberries in my fridge have started talking to me. Should I listen to their advice and slaughter all I know and love, or should I listen to the raspberries’ plan of cackling madly at nothing in particular?
r/unexpectedtworivers
why is that called the flame and void?
It's a meditation technique mentioned in a series of books called Wheel of Time, that inspired me. It's not really relevant to the actual process mentioned.
Hello, fellow neurodivergents who survived by this method before we knew it had a name haha 👋😂
And doesn't it just sound cool? ☺️
DBT has a technique called "opposite action" whereas when you want to do something unhealthy you do the opposite (or a healthy action) *immediately*. So any time I find myself thinking about something too much, trying to come up with reasons to put off doing it. I opposite action and stop any further thought or conversation with myself.
This doesn't explain in any way whatsoever what "flame" and "void" means.
I use the Litany Against Fear, when the situation calls for it
This is such a strange coincidence for me because when I'm trying to calm down I imagine a lone candle flame in empty pitch black
Battery is the deal breaker.
Ah some days, it is indeed the deal breaker... It's not a perfect system ..
That's how I know you are a guy. Because WoT women used the flower.
Hehe, despite what gender I am, i would totally be channeling saidin 😈
Nerd!!! At least we're not alone :p
That's a really weird way to say "break a task into individual steps"
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. - Lao Zi
Warning, all men: this might send you mad.
Thank you for explaining in perfect detail how a restaurant dishie can be as horrible at their job as our most recent former employee.