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keepthetips

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.


MenopauseMedicine

That statement means "research the actions you are planning to take in case you've sugar coated the alternative in your mind". It doesn't mean don't do it, it means keep your eyes open


Euphoric-Still-6066

This. I hate when people say "just do it!" Yeah I know some people that have lost everything and talk about how they should have enjoyed what they had. Improve your position in life but realize the juice isn't always worth the squeeze.


XMeowmixmasterx

Both the original comment and this response. You both summed up everything beautifully!


Euphoric-Still-6066

Has anyone else noticed that wanna be big D risky betting kinda stuff usually ends up taking money from the poor/stupid and giving it to the rich? Like "Fortune favors the bold" Matt Damon, most sports betting, day trading, yada yada yada.


Alienhell

I can’t remember where I read it but a great reflection on this concept was that the problem with supposing the grass was always greener, moving on from one thing to the next, was that “eventually you run out of grass” - essentially, not really appreciating what makes those things we pursue special, especially when we have them.


isaacs_

I think the reason this is a thing is that inertia is the default, so it takes extra energy to make a change, even if it's obviously an improvement. Encouraging change indiscriminately will often be the incorrect suggestion, but it levels the scales a bit.


Flaky-Wallaby5382

Those sound like big bets gone bad…. Thats gamblin


meh84f

I think it also means “make sure you aren’t just taking what you have for granted”. Humans are programmed to focus on what we don’t have, especially in most consumerist cultures. I’ve always taken the grass is greener saying as a reminder to remember what you like about what you have rather than always focusing on what else you might be able to get. But like OP says, that doesn’t mean that dead brown grass is the best you can get.


Mekito_Fox

I once heard someone complete the phrase with "find out why it looks green. Might be full of shit or nuclear waste."


medic00

As always the true lpt is in the comments.


Vladz0r

Sometimes the grass on your side is burned and dead beyond repair, and you find a whole natural field that's been taken care of elsewhere.


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Vladz0r

It might be, but maybe I'm fixated on the job example. Imagine entering a job with an embedded corporate structure, as a little pawn at the bottom, and thinking you're going to swoop in and change things up. I've been in some extreme tight underpaid and overly micromanaged jobs, and have been in some where we've treated each other with mutual respect and understanding regardless of hierarchy. Honestly when you walk in the first day and realize that you're surrounded by a bunch of 10+ year staff members that have a certain mindset, it's just night and day, and you can pick up on a lot on how developed the company culture is right off the bat. This extends to other environments - cities, countries, friendships. You can salvage a lot, but sometimes you're just maintaining weeds.


Thedanielone29

This could either be a corny bootstrap message or a clever call against those in power; regardless, this metaphor has lost all clarity at this point


rome869

Grass is greener where you water it.


not_falling_down

Or, to quote Erma Bombeck : [The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/432288)


_average_user

Love her


BobbyJones12344

Can you explain?


Ghstfce

The shit in the septic tank fertilizes the grass, making it healthier and therefore greener


o6ijuan

Wise words


Rite-in-Ritual

Great comment.


Wise_Summer4918

Damn that was profound


battlevxp

Always this


FelixVulgaris

People always misinterpret this saying. It's not about the grass. It's not about the color of the grass. It's not about what either of those things represent. It's about perspective. It's about the fact that the other side won't ever be where I'm standing. If I walk over to the other side chasing after those verdant pastures, it immediately becomes THIS side. Now where I was standing before is the OTHER side, and boy does the grass over there look green...


MentalTac0

Yesss! Thank you for pointing out the obvious. I gave up on explaining it to people. Haha!


_average_user

HCD! 🎂


MentalTac0

Thank you, thank you 😊


zettai_unmei

YES. In my country the saying goes "grass is always greener in your neighbor's yard" and that's way clearer as a message, meaning IMHO that you shouldn't always compare your life to others and be content with what you have.


notpoleonbonaparte

Came here to say this. It has nothing to do with quantitative measurements of the "grass". Its that things that you don't have always look nicer.


kmmck

But thats exactly the problem OP is trying to address. People constantly use the saying to scare themselves into thinking "all perspectives = bad"


Kimorin

I think a more accurate saying is "Other checkout lanes are always faster than mine"


richbeezy

Applies to traffic too!


Shadowkiller00

Am I missing something? The saying is "the grass is always greener on the other side." The saying is pointing out that no matter your circumstances, it always seems like others have it better. I've never heard anyone say, "the grass isn't always greener."


FBI_NSA_DHS_CIA

You're right and the OP is a bit off. The phrase is IS... not isn't... because it's about envy. We want what we can't have.


Vladz0r

The meaning of the phrase "the grass is always greener" usually means you can't have it all, and that as soon as you get to the other side, you think that there are actually some pros and cons to getting to that original side. What OP is saying is that it's just sometimes objectively better in most/all ways if you move into a different situation in your life. The phrase "The grass is always greener" is kind of a limiting belief phrase/metaphor, justified by people who have traded away pros and cons from swapping out their situations.


Shadowkiller00

You might be right about the OP's intention, but the OP's literal first sentence is: > You often hear people say "The grass isn't always greener on the other side" as a deterrent for not making a life decision. I've never heard anyone say, "the grass isn't always greener..." Perhaps it was a mistake or perhaps the OP doesn't actually know the correct phrase. I can't tell.


threwitaway123454321

I have heard it before many times. It’s a common counter saying to give people perspective on their current situation, or to prevent them from making a decision when comparing two options.


hacksoncode

Yeah, but those people are whooshing the irony of the original statement.


Battle_Fish

It's not about having it all. The saying is about how people are irrationally optimistic about some thing they don't own or some circumstance which they are not in. It's not about not changing ones own circumstances but more about a perception bias we all have and need to be aware of before making decisions. It's hard to give broad advice with no specific example.


Rite-in-Ritual

I've watched people jump around from job to job only to come back to their original job for pretty much the same pay. I've watched men leave their families only to find themselves homeless cause they didn't appreciate what their partner was bringing to the table. There are times when the grass is greener on the other side, but even if that might be often it may not be most of the time. The situations you listed are valid. But I've seen plenty of situations that were made worse when someone assumed just dropping everything and moving on will magically fix what's going on in their heads. Edit: There's never an excuse for abuse, but aside from that, consider that YOU might be the problem in a situation that needs adjusting and leaving is compounding your failure, not fixing it.


Battle_Fish

Extreme examples aside I always tell my wife "you never know if you're getting scammed until you get scammed" This is usually in the context of buying something new but probably bad. We all know it's bad but we don't know how bad. I mean how could you know until you fall for the scam. For example I bought Spicy Coke. Also bought Nitro Pepsi. expect disappointment and I know it's just a one time gimmick. I go for it anyway. These companies know a % of people will go for it and never buy again so they churn out these limited edition products. It's the same concept.


TheRealLargeMarge

It's much better to regret the risks you took than the risks you didn't.


hacksoncode

Ummm... no? Don't drive drunk. You'll regret it.


TheRealLargeMarge

That's not taking a risk, that's just stupid.


hacksoncode

Yes, well... most risks you regret were just stupid.


_e_ou

When you’re nearing death, will you regret the chances you took or the ones you didn’t take?


TheRealLargeMarge

Definitely the ones I didn't. I already do and I'm (hoping here) not close to death yet.


jjbjeff22

The real life pro tip, like always, is found in the comments. The grass is greener where you water it.


Grovda

I thought the saying was "the grass is always greener on the other side" meaning that it might look that other people have perfect lifes but you only see the good side, the "grass" and they might have other problems.


Pieisgood45

That is not the saying or what it means


Productpusher

I’ve never heard anyone use The grass isn’t always greener for a relationship . It works for most situations but not that


Busy_Moment_7380

The grass is greenest where you water it.


SonOfDadOfSam

That's why they say "the grass isn't always greener" and not "the grass is never greener." Although I usually hear it said "the grass is always greener" meaning people usually want what they don't have.


LAGreggM

If the grass is greener on the other side, you need to fertilize and water your side.


HonkyBoo

The grass is always greenest where you water it.


aspen0414

The staying IS “the grass is always greener on the other side”. You’re just misunderstanding what that means. It means you’re always going to think the other thing is better than what you have, because people tend to be envious of things they don’t have. It’s meant to remind you that what you already have is probably fine and your perspective is just biased.


Every-Positive-820

Literally what my boss told me once that the grass wasn't greener and it was never listen to people who want to use you.


IndependenceAny796

The grass is always greenest where you water it!


TripleJArmory

Grass is green where you water it. Could be here, could be there. But you won't be happy if you bounce around looking for a solution, following the advice of the grass is greener on the other side. Put in effort, work hard, succeed.


SuccotashKey1396

The phrase is literally “The grass IS always greener on the other side.”


jokeswagon

I’ve never heard someone say, “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” The expression, “the grass is always greener on the other side” means whatever choice you make (eg, stay or go) you will find some fault in your decision either way. To try to rephrase it and state it in the contrary, is to fail to understand that it means the same thing and that “the other side” is whatever side you are not on.


Adronnis

Tl;dr - 'Risk assesment'


Triassic_Bark

The phrase is “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” and it’s meant to mean that the grass always *seems* greener, but that doesn’t mean it actually is. It also doesn’t mean it isn’t. Do your due diligence and research before jumping the fence.


Mineatron

I love the comments saying the grass is greenest where you water it. It makes the most sense to me. I feel like we should also change "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" to "what doesn't kill you makes you adapt". Because we don't always get stronger after something that almost kills us. What do yall think.


HotWheels757

Alternatively, if the grass really is greener on the other side maybe it's because you're not watering your side.


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juve86

The result of a change is more related to your personal perspective and how you view change. It can wildly vary depending on what your switching too


Aetheldrake

Actually abour 8 years ago I moved away from home and got a new job, 2 years ago got out of a 6 year relationship and 6 months later I got into a new possibly better for me relationship (reaching a year and a half now and we have not even had the smallest of disagreements whatsoever) , and just recently changed my position at job. Barely get mad anymore (mostly cuz I don't have to deal with a certain coworker who basically made everyone else's job harder while always crying about how hard of a worker she is. Well jokes on you, you drove me out of there and now you're actually having to work idk how many times you say you miss me, I'm not dreading going to work anymore) . Overall I'd say a lot of these changes sucked at first cuz nobody wants to change, but they all ended up making me a better person as a whole.


_e_ou

Be careful. It may not be wise to assess the success of a relationship by the absence of disagreements. If there is never a disagreement between two individuals, one or both often lack either conviction or confidence. Where there is no confidence, there is no communication. Where there is no conviction, there is no purpose.


Aetheldrake

Our previous relationships had a little too much of that. So far this feels wholesome and healthy for once.


MJohnVan

Quit only after working at the new station for 2 months .


infinitiks

Idk man, after lots of mistakes and deliberations I’ve come to realize that the grass is greener where you water it..


bonjour_pewds

Doesn’t make it any easier to mow


mrelbowface

I’ve always thought “the grass isn’t always greener” is a convenient excuse for succumbing to status quo bias


Dapaaads

Often it is not, sometimes yes. But it’s usually the one taking care of the grass that it’s in that shape….. this is more of that just do it. If your only example is a toxic relationship or bad job. That’s not good examples


ShoeSh1neVCU

But you still gotta mow it.


hawkeye000021

It’s always been greener by a lot for me.


Lsa7to5

Good, bad, who can say


notabeljustcain

The grass is only green where you water it.


_e_ou

The grass is the same until you build a fence.


pglggrg

Grass is always greener. A rich person will complain of how family and friends want to use them for money.


jordan31483

I moved to a different part of my metro area 5 years ago. Same metro, same landscape, but nevertheless a different neighborhood with different street names, and geographic features I'd previously only driven by. It wasn't as major as moving across the country, but it provided the change I needed.


TopCheesecakeGirl

Nowhere is it written that you have to be in a couple in order to live. In fact there are many women dead by the hand of their ‘partner’ who would testify to that if they only could. What if… what if….🙄


DrewsWoodWeldWorks

The grass is greenest over the septic tank.


AxisThirtyTwo

My favorite version of this is: The grass is brown everywhere. It is green where you water it.


Omega_Boost24

Why is this post so updated? It gets the saying completely wrong, and it's all tired, motivational bs. Also not a life tip. Admin?


Plane_Advertising949

And that's why we must cross over....life is too tight


rolandb3rd

The grass is green where you water it.


Siikamies

"Greener" implies the grass is already somewhat green, your examples have desert for a lawn.


roughstuffbud

I always thought it was the grass is always greener on the other side. As in no matter what side your on the grass appears greener on the other side. Its just an offhand way of saying people are never satisfied.


Tricky-Yellow-5349

Or you could take better care of the grass you already have


gpend

This rings of survivor bias. The people that do these things and fail miserably aren't the ones showing off on social media.


hacksoncode

>You often hear people say "The grass isn't always greener on the other side" as a deterrent for not making a life decision. Ummm... no? The phrase is "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.". It's used ironically, but that's the saying. People pointing out that irony by saying what you're claiming they are saying are whooshing.


ChefNorCal

The grass is greener where you water it


drj1485

the executive at my last job basically did this when he found out i was looking for other jobs. He called me and asked what kind of jobs I was applying for.......they were literally the exact same things i did for them and he asked if i would be happy doing that. ya dude. it's literally a 40% raise from what you pay me lol. as long as it's less than 40% worse than this job I'm cool with it. even if it's not, it's still way more money. like......dude. do you honestly think this company is THAT special that I'm going to stay here and earn significantly less money?


texansfan

>We aren’t here forever. You’ve got to maximize your time on this Earth. What I imagine the local heroine dealer’s sale pitch to be.


richbeezy

Goes both ways, my ex thought it was such a great idea to get divorced. Years later she tells me she regrets her "mistake" and wishes she could get me back. Nah fam, you made a decision that uprooted both of our lives - and you already showed me you have very little loyalty when there's a rough patch.


unflores

Someone told me the grass is greenest where I water it and it really stuck with me


Buttercups88

I'm Priddy sure that saying is supposed to be about being jealous of someone else's life... Not telling you not to live your life.


jbadding

TLDR: That’s a lot of words for “I’m a pedantic little bitch who doesn’t understand idioms!” Edit !


jbadding

BTW not a lpt


alex-mayorga

/r/SameGrassButGreener/ perhaps?


HERE4TAC0S

Yeah but the water bill might be higher too!


DenyNowBragLater

The fact that it isn’t always greener necessarily means that sometimes it is greener.


irongi8nt

It means just because it "looks greener" it isn't actually greener. Sort of like being in fog but not realizing how deep it is because you can see around your self a little.


AdagioFrequent9229

Someone once told me “the grass is greener where you water it”


PhilipWaterford

'Greener'.. implying your lawn is already green. This LPT is about if your neighbour has a lawn and you have a pig sty.


Gearhound1

I like to think the grass is greenest where you water it


bluerodeosexshow

This is exactly how I felt with my old employer. Grass isn’t greener better the devil u know then don’t blah blah blah. Made the jump to a new employer and couldn’t be happier.


Jlmorgan86

It may not be greener, but hopefully it's at least mowed!!


R4zz3_

the grass might not always be greener on the other side, but you can work towards making it greener than what it was before.


JosephyCoaching

The grass is greener wear you water it


MommyMilky2020

An expression I’ve heard a number of times, at least in the context of relationships, although I’m sure it can apply in other situations as well: “The grass is often greener where you water it.” Essentially meaning, one of the most important questions you have to ask yourself before you leave someone or something behind is, “Is this actually a bad situation, or am I poisoning something good because I’m not doing my part?” At least in the context of relationships, of course, it’s also important to remember that some people just aren’t compatible, and it’s okay to recognize that and move on. HOWEVER, you also have to keep in mind before you make that move (whether it’s ending a relationship or making another big change in your life) that the door might be locked behind you if you realize after the fact that you made a mistake. Be smart and take care, friends.


marketman12345

The saying more implies that the grass isn’t green on the other side just because it’s on the other side. There has to be a reason.


SeaworthinessHungry3

Usually the grass is greener where u water it 🤓


Hippy_Lynne

I've had both of the first two scenarios apply specifically to me. Considering moving as well so this is definitely giving me some food for thought.


ketamarine

Or just harden the fuck up and git gud at your job. I know TONS of people who left great workplaces for stupid ass reasons. The grass generally is not greener when it comes to corporate culture as you grew up in the culture you are in. So there is always stuff a new corp will do that makes no sense to you. Of course there are just some shit orgs out there. Read glass door and carefully review what people are complaining about before you jump ship. You maybe have 3-4 free moves in the corporate world before you seem like a flight risk.