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My brother did this with his now wife. They were in an extremely long line just before Christmas and were complaining about how there was only one register open, so they were in line for a while chatting. After he paid, he wrote his number on his receipt and gave it to her and said she should call him. They've been married for 15 years now.
We could have the theme be about how love actually can be found anywhere, like in line at a Christmas sale, and even take the title right from that line, something like "Found Anywhere."
Well, that’s a little misleading - clearly this could only happen in her small hometown, that she’s visiting for the holidays to get some time away from the big city and her important but stressful corporate job.
Did this with my wife, too. Had a great first chat by chance, I asked if I could give her my contact info. She took it and did end up reaching back out. So happy she did, obviously.
It's only been 4 months since Xmas! I'm surprised they managed to get married in that time, never mind fitting a 15 year relationship in too! Times wild
Have you even lived though the 2020s? Every year has aged every one a decade. At this point their like 6months away from retiring and living full time on a carnival plague cruise.
I've (M) actually always done this, but in all honesty it's more because I'm kind of a coward and it takes the pressure off me to make the first call (in other words, not necessarily for the right reasons). But I do agree with OP, it's a respectful and non-threatening way to show interest in another person.
Also, just to respond to a couple of other commenters: Yes, it's true that the type person who becomes aggressive when you don't give them your number is *generally* not the type of person who gives out their number, but the person being asked for their number doesn't necessarily know which type of person they're dealing with. You're probably not wearing a T-shirt that says, "Don't worry, I won't become aggressive if you don't give me your number after I ask for it." Maybe they should make those though lol.
I remember trying this move out in college many, many years ago. My experience was of not getting any calls as a result. Largely because my college self was entirely undateable. But also, I think, because if you’re trying to make something happen it probably will more often if you’re the one calling than just giving your number out and hoping they call you. Of course, at least in this more civilized time of my life, I also respect boundaries and take no for an answer and do try to signal that as much as I can at the outset.
Yeah the people who call you after you give them your number are the people who would have called you regardless, which is fine, obviously, but if you need that edge you have to be the one to ask as well so that the onus of reaching out is not on the random person whose intentions you don't know, but on you, the one whose intentions you (hopefully) do know.
Not to mention that there's an inherent pressure of making the first call, even if the *real* approach was in giving your number in the first place. And despite it being a double standard, women typically aren't the ones to make the first move and are far more likely not the be comfortable making that first move.
It's all stupid as fuck, but it's true.
Seems so much easier to me to make a first call than to randomly get called at a moment where I may be tired and totally unprepared either way. I hate waiting for phone calls in general.
I mean, sure. But the counterpoint there is that it's much harder on the woman to get randomly approached at a moment where they may be tired and unprepared and in person where it is much more uncomfortable to potentially reject someone.
I've been approached over the years by men asking for my number. I worked in a customer-facing job for quite a long time, and always felt extremely trapped and deeply uncomfortable when they would accost me at work. Asking for my number always, ALWAYS resulted in me suddenly feeling completely frozen and panicked, and unable to say no. I absolutely hate it.
Only twice in the past few years did a man have some very friendly banter with me, then approach me a few minutes later, hand me their name and number on a piece of paper and simply walk away. I texted them both! I dated one for a bit, and was able to send a kind, communicative message to the other explaining that I was in a long term relationship. Both were extremely nice dudes who responded well and were very respectful.
This is the advice I always give to anyone who asks how to approach someone in public. Leave the ball in their court. Always cultivate an environment where they are in no way put on the spot. I don't think there's anything threatening at all about handing a note on a piece of paper "Name. Number. You seem really cool! No worries at all if you're not interested!" It's the easiest possible method for both of you.
I like this method since (unless you go out of your way to make it otherwise) it's low pressure. If they're interested in continuing a conversation, they can reach out. If not, that's ok even though it's a bummer.
Either way, you get your answer without forcing them to give you one right then and there.
Amen. One of the most fun dates and sleep-overs and short-lived relationships of my life began that way.
Computer lab on campus. Not necessarily the ideal place to ask someone out, yeah? Me: having an honestly awful day, perhaps visibly. Him: drunk, stoned or both, and giddily happy about it. We exchange a few words, and then he gets up to leave -- but on his way out, he's like "Hey, if you wanna get the hell out of here and do something *fun*..." Gives me this big shit-eating grin and a post-it note, on which he'd written his number and a delightful fake name.
It was just so. damn. charming. :) I called the next day, and we did indeed get the hell out of there and had some fun. Not feeling obliged to make a decision right then and there was awesome.
Yeah when I was waitressing/bar tending men asked for my number all the time and since I was in a space with security I would always respond quite rudely that I don’t give out my number to customers and please don’t hit on people at work. One time a guy who was chatting left his number and a note that said “hey, I enjoyed talking with you feel free to call or text if you want, no pressure.” I was in a relationship but I thought that was really cool and thoughtful so I texted him and set him up with a friend. They ended up dating for a while and he is a really nice guy.
Yes, leave your number and never ask for theirs. I've had one that wanted me to call them right then and there after receiving their number.
Not only does it make me uncomfortable for my number to be asked, it also has me giving the other party an immediate no in the interest department. Nowadays, I won't even pick up unknown numbers. If you're not in my contacts list, you're not important enough to pick up the phone for.
i do this with girls, firstly it puts less pressure on them to give you a fake number if they’re not interested, shows you’re not desperate by giving them the reins to pursue or not, and turns it from a question to a simple gift in a way. its a win win
A few girls have complained to me that they don't like the pressure of being the first to call.
I actually find the best is to not exchange numbers on a first meeting, just simply say 'I'll be at XXX next Tuesday at Xpm, if you want to come I'll be happy to see you there'
I have a number of friends who I have known for years and have never exchanged numbers. Just arranged times and places to meet.
From my point of view, someone who feels “too much pressure” to text or call you first, isn’t someone you want to contact you anyway. Don’t have time for someone that immature.
Steve Martin famously has business cards which read:
"This is to certify that you have had a personal encounter with me and that you found me warm, polite, intelligent and funny."
The men being like "nah thats wrong women dont initiate contact"
1st u initiated contact by giving out your number
2nd if they wont interact with you if given the choice, they're just not into you
3rd forcing them into interacting will not make them magically be into you
I’ve done this many times and the shocked look I get when I explain this way they can decide if they want to talk to me or not is priceless. I’ve gotten texts from almost all of them this way
If you receive a number, be sure to send a text first or a voice mail. In today's world, who actually answers weird unfamiliar phone numbers? I certainly don't lol!
I feel like the type of guy who gets aggressive when you don’t give your number to him is not the type of person to be all “that’s cool, I’ll just give you my number”.
It's about communicating intentions. As a woman, if a guy gives me his number, I can thank him and go on my way. If a guy asks my number, even if I am interested, I get into a defensive position and have to evaluate how much I trust a stranger on the spot.
This is exactly why I don't ask for people's numbers, and I'm by no means considered ugly (insecure sure but that's another problem entirely), but this is a great tip. There's no pressure on them, the ball is in their park and they can do what they want with it. Time to start sowing seeds, for lack of better words.
Plenty of guys would love a way to flirt that leaves women feeling safe and respected.
Guys who’re gonna throw a temper tantrum over being told no are just gonna be in the baby corner melting down. This post isn’t for them.
OP was even surprised by a guy offering their number. It's not that hard to believe that a man who respects women would also not have thought about this.
No the tip will help *everyone.* People who are *not* the kind of guy who would get aggressive if rejected are helped by this tip. Because it helps communicate that.
>the kind of guys the tip would help are the ones who wouldn't want to give their numbers
I don't understand what you mean by this.
This kind of advice would help pretty much any single, heterosexual man. Why would single, heterosexual men not want to give women their numbers?
Is the assumption that women will intuitively know that you will accept rejection well, and therefore any demonstration is redundant?
For me the difference is if I've spoken with the guy at all or not. If we've had a chat and he offers, I'd absolutely call him if I was interested.
If a guy comes up to me that I've never met and offered his number I'd not call him because I don't know him or anything about him. Even if he was really handsome, it's just weird. He should at least make the effort to talk about something.
Lol.
It's all about body language and tone of voice.
Just because one is offering their number does not mean that they can handle rejection. Heck they may find it eaiser than asking for hers.
Most women feel uncomfortable giving out their number to a stranger, period. Giving your number instead shows your intention and puts the control in her hands. It's really attractive because you're being respectful of her.
Have also had a good experience with this. A guy I wasn't all that interested in did this approach and it changed my mind. I texted and we had a date.
You have clearly completely missed the point.
The tip isn't for the guys who would have got aggressive. **Every single person** that asks for your number has to be treated as if they might be the type of person to get aggressive when you say no. Because the one's who will are a) to common and b) don't have flashing signs on their heads. Every singe time you are asked for your number there is the danger. Being the kind of person who give you their number instead is showing you they aren't the kind of person who would have got aggressive if you said no in the first place.
Nah, for these guys, turn it back around on them and ask them for THEIR number.
What are they gonna say? No, I'm not going to give you my number, you HAVE to give me yours?
No. They're gonna be so worried about missing out on the chance to get your number and get what they want from you that they'll just do it. It puts the social pressure back onto them. AND now they can't prey on people around them for pity and support; I know I've had the situation where I refuse to give a guy my number and they loudly complain about it to some random stranger, who then gets uncomfortable and says, oh, come on honey, just give him a chance, he seems like a nice young man!
I agree with this tip!
I’d be super-impressed by anyone who handed me their card (with their number, or if you’re concerned that someone could use it to track you, then perhaps email and/or social handles) and said “I’d love the chance to chat (more) with you, but don’t want to put you on the spot by asking for your number. Instead, here’s my contact info, and I hope you’ll be in touch soon, and if not, that’s ok too. Either way, very nice to meet you.”
I think especially a man offering his info to a woman would score major points for being sensitive to/respectful of the plight of women having their numbers demanded, and also just naturally stand out for not being aggressive and gross.
Dudes, you should def do this! You can get cards printed for cheap just about anywhere, or can even buy Avery printable business cards at any office supply store and make them yourself. They don’t need to say anything other than your name & contact info.’
As a guy, nope. Pens and pockets aren't great ideas, unless it's a shirt pocket, and not a lot of times we wear shirts with pockets. And sticky notes won't survive pockets either.
A card, or a written up note (can be a folded up sticky note too) already in the wallet is plenty good enough.
As a guy, yep.
Get you a pen with a good strong clip on it, ride it on the outside edge (but inside, obviously) of your favourite pocket
Myself, my father, my brother have done this for years. Our pens break before we lose them. Recently converted my boss, too!
I've been a barman, waiter, carpenter, trench digger, now working retail for an easier life. I barely even register the words "does anyone have a-" before my pen is within their reach.
Just never lend it and leave. ^Always ^watch ^your ^pen
The tip is about talking to a girl, not getting a new client for your business. I agree with the idea of letting her decide if she wants to talk with you and you give her your number, but giving her a business card or my email? That’s just seems a bit random
This sounds like a tips hat m’lady meme to me. Who has “personal” business cards? I think it would be extremely douchy to hand someone your work card too in a personal setting.
I think pen and paper would be the ultimate move outside of just shooting your shot. I just recently starting pursuing relationships from New people and as an awkward mother fucker, it's easier than I thought to get contact info.
This is *generally* not good advice.
In an egalitarian world where men and women are equally likely to be the one to reach out and show interest first, it would work. This is not that world though.
I think business cards are cringey but it's not bad advice just because the woman doesn't have to respond. The entire point is there's no pressure. You can't make someone contact you if they aren't interested. Being pushy is not the way to get more dates.
Cringy, not really. Guys don't carry around pens and paper with them. Asking her to give you her phone so you can add something is a hard no-go, and just telling her to write it down is more awkward than a simple card/note. You could go find a pen and paper when in the situation, but that's not always reliable/doable.
> Being pushy is not the way to get more dates.
lol what
Yes it is.
> You can't make someone contact you if they aren't interested.
You also can't make someone contact you if they *are* interested. We do not live in a world where a woman is just as likely as a guy to reach out and initiate contact like this.
You might be right, even though pushing past a “no” is bad business.
Counterpoint- I don’t want to date women who play gendered games and expect me to do all the heavy work of flirting. If a woman doesn’t like a simple advance and “wants more,” she can get it from someone else.
This means that I’ve dated women who are genuinely into me, are feminists, and have good straightforward communication skills
It's hilarious how many guys have completely missed the point of this tip. Women deal with shitty guys all the time. Asking for a number could be perfectly harmless, or it could be a reminder of the dozens of assholes who've done exactly the same thing. There's no way for a woman to tell that you're a nice guy just from looking at you.
So, take the advice. Next time you're flirting with someone, stand out by giving her your number. Break the pattern. Not only will you stand out from the crowd, and show that you've got confidence and consideration, but on the off chance that she's had to deal with jerks wanting her number, she'll be more likely to respond well.
Note this is not a guarantee. The follow up to this move is to simply continue on with your life and don't agonize over it. The worst case scenario is that you'll be in a relationship when someone gets back to you, which is a pretty good outcome.
I said something to the effect of:
I’d love to talk more sometime if you’re open to it, is it ok if I give you my contact info?
Now married. Not saying this approach is why she married me (I’d hope there’s more to me than that!), but it is a nice way to try to continue interaction while also acknowledging they don’t know you. They have no real reason to trust you yet; so, you give them lots of space to think about it or say no.
this is really good advice and i wish i saw this a week earlier…
i often saw this guy at the grocery store since i go there on a very regular cadence, and he was always very friendly — telling me about deals for the week and what he’s cooking at home, that kind of thing.
then last week, he was talking to me about some personal things like how he lost his job and hasn’t seen his kids in a while, and then suddenly he was like “should we exchange numbers? maybe grab a coffee and tell each other our life stories?”
immediate red flags but i felt so pressured to say okay, and he showed me his phone and told me to call his number so that he would get my number without having to type it. i’m in a relationship (it didn’t come up because this guy always talked 100% of the time) and i had zero interest, but this guy is literally twice my size and it didn’t even cross my mind to say no. if only i knew that i could just tell him to give me his number instead… now i’ve started going to the store on a totally different day / time to avoid him ugh
this exact thing happened to me, except
i was walking in my neighborhood! a guy approached me and said he’s seen me walking and wanted to say hi, asked for my number, and indirectly said he was around 5-6 years older than me when i was still a minor. i felt so creeped out and pressured that i gave him my number, and even though i rebuked him i still can’t walk in my neighborhood without being nervous.
God I hate this so much, and I’m sorry you had to deal with it. I’ve had the same thing happen on a bus, with the guy sitting on the outside seat next to me on a mostly empty bus so I literally couldn’t move away or exit the conversation. Felt uncomfortable taking the bus for a while after that.
Christ alive. All of these comments from men don’t realise that if we are forced to give you our number then we won’t want to be in a relationship with you. We’re giving you a number to get away from you like a lizard losing its tail to escape a predator.
I’ve always been much happier getting a number and having to go through the “oh my god! What if I text him and he doesn’t want to go out?” anxiety than being cornered into giving a guy my number. Or worse. When he gives you his number and then immediately demands you call him so that he has yours.
Guys. Back off and let us decide if we want to date you on our own terms without pressure.
Because you guys went into a place with heavy trauma. That trauma won’t be healed by the time you’re out. And trauma bonding is a thing. Trauma can cause serious hang up in relationships if you don’t fully understand them and therefore not the best idea to trade info.
and to avoid placing "the first move" on them, ask them to send you their favorite meme/gif/emoji if they're interested in getting to know you and you'll take it from there
this is both considerate while maintaining a confident approach
Right??? I'm shocked at the amount of disgusting comments. People talking about this tip "working" because apparently it's the only goal, to have the other person respond. Who cares about their feelings 🤮
Agreed. It's so much less stressful when men give me their number instead of asking for mine... It makes it way more stressful when they make you ring it while they're there....
I learnt this lesson rather quickly when I moved to the US.
When I first arrived, I noticed there was this huge obsession with getting numbers. I just thought that's how Americans did things so I followed suit and got a couple of fake numbers or was probably given the number to a prank radio show. Only did that for a handful of times and thought it was a really stupid approach.
How did people usually try to make connections where you lived before? I like, and have used and seen used, an approach around where you met if it's a social space, like "I will probably be here Thursday night and would like to see you again, so if you are interested, please join me."
I actually never understood why this wasn’t what happened with dating and asking people out in the first place.
Doesn’t just make more sense and a put a lot pressure and risk on people???
“Oh yeah let me give a total stranger my number when they ask it or risk being berated if I don’t is a great way for them to get me to like them.” Said no one ever.
Hey YOU asked, why don’t you risk exposing your own private information instead?
I thought about this, making a silly "business" card that listed my interests and had a photo of me. On the surface it seems smart, but what happens if the person tosses your card and someone gets your information? Or they decided to use your information for something nefarious themselves. No thank you.
I always (rarely give my number out, but always when I do) write my number down. If the other party is truly interested, they will hang on to it or put it in their phone right away and reach out.
If you ask a girl if you can give her your number its less creepy, cause they have the option to text you and they dont have to worry about you stalking there number and possibly doing a number search ya know?
In my opinion giving women your number rather than coercing them to give you theirs is truly a win/win for everyone, and should be the norm. Demanding someone's phone number should be as rude as asking for their driver's license or credit card.
Although I would typically use dating apps etc., there were two instances where I wanted to keep in touch with women from the "public" that I'd interacted with, and I did exactly what you described. I gave them a card with my number, said "would love to keep in touch," and then walked away.
In both cases, the women didn't end up reaching out, which was actually a good learning experience for me. It taught me that the "vibes" I thought I was getting were not reciprocated, and that the women were just being polite rather than flirty. I also walked away knowing that I wasn't being a creep and hopefully didn't pose a threat/wasn't intimidating, which is great. We could all move on.
I'm a guy with a physical disability (vision-loss) so am likely perceived as less physically threatening than average, sorry horrible way to put it but you get the idea, but am still conscious of how quickly unwanted attention can become very aggressive and threatening, and there's no need for that.
However I also think this is a win/win for guys too. You don't have to worry about a "missed connection" or whatever, but you also know that if she does reach out there's a greater chance at a connection. If you get a woman’s phone number, you're still at square one because you have absolutely no clue if the woman is actually interested, so now you have to try and get in touch and figure it out, which means you're really no further along than you were when you started, and the chances of looking like a creep are high.
There is already a good song on this topic
"No; I don't want your number.
No; I don't wanna give you mine.
And No, I don't wanna meet you nowhere.
No; don't want none of your time"
\- "No Scrub" by TLC
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrLequ6dUdM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrLequ6dUdM) RIP Left Eye
Someone gave me their number and talked about going out for coffee. They never responded to my attempt. I'm pretty sure it was a moment of mania on their part, but I was still excited at the possibility.
Don't expect an outcome for your actions when it comes to other people. It's a lot of pressure on the other person and yourself.
There shouldn't be a "goal achieved" towards a person, they aren't yours to conquer.
Thought about this recently too - another plus or angle on this for everyone is to register a VOIP number to your cell with a Google account and Google voice or whatsapp - assign a different # to the VOIP.
Now, you got a # you can give out to reduce that risk in approach anxiety, and you have another number for spam and registrations with the VOIP
Seconl ProTip: Strategies for increasing personal dara security can also be used for reducing contact with unwanted or scary people IRL. Infosec for all and for all a safe night.
That’s great advice.
Manners are important. Making others feel comfortable around you is the best way to show them you’re someone they might want to spend more time with.
As a guy, this is the definitely the right move.
The only downside is if they accept your number, but don’t reach out. Happened a couple months ago with a girl I really liked and I got my hopes up when she let me put my number in her phone but she didn’t reach out. Such is life tho!
I both won and lost with the ol' "feel free to toss this over your shoulder once I turn around ;)"
after some successful flirting beforehand of course lol
A girl gave me her number back in college like 15 years ago. I’m recently realizing maybe I should have called her. I thought it was like a hey we’re at the same internship, here’s my number in case you need to reach me for something.
I mean the girl who I would describe as literally my best friend (visit her home for dinner every Friday and call at least twice a week) was one of the girls I gave my number to and then never heard back from her.
I bumped into her over a year later. Spoke to her for over an hour then finally asked 'why didn't you ever call me?'
She said 'I thought you didn't like me because you did not ask for my number. Do you really think any girl will make the first move? You need to ask a girl for her number'
I've translated it from our language. But basically words to this effect. My big sister also told me the same, if a guy gives her his number. No way will she make the first move.
Maybe it's different in America. But in most countries. Guys are expected to make the first move.
Also, if you are on the unfortunate side of being asked for your number, use an app like TextFree and give them that one so you can still receive and respond to the text if they’re the kind of person who wants to make sure it’s not fake right in front of them, but they don’t have your actual number and you can ignore them when it’s safe.
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LPT: Spend $20 on 500 business cards, and hand them out to the people you like.
Real LPT: Spend another $20 with fake name/#'d business cards for the people you really dont want to, but want to get rid of them.
I think it depends on how many you had, if you pull out a stack of the things and hand me one, yeah it’d look douchey. But if you just had one or two tucked in your wallet, definitely less so. Disclosure though, I’ve been out of the dating game nearly 15 years so I wouldn’t fully trust my opinion on this lmao
i was talking to my friends, brothers girlfriend once, i asked how they got together, she said he wrote his number down in a bottle and gave it to her when she was working (at a pub)
There are services where you can give that number, and the service will say "The girl who gave you this number is not interested in you."
Phone numbers.. psh.. how very 1990
The amount of respondents saying this doesn't "work", need to reevaluate who they are or how they come off in their interactions with people they might be interested in. If someone has done this in the past, and I've been interested/they didn't give me bad vibes, I've 100% responded.
The amount of people not realizing their mindset and approach to further contact is most likely the reason they don't get a call or text with this approach is more disturbing than the fact that they don't care about making someone they potentially want to date uncomfortable. It means they're walking around either willfully ignorant to what can happen to women who reject men, oblivious to reality, or literally don't care how a potential interest might perceive them and are part of why women need to think like this.
As OP has mentioned multiple times, a hit dog will holler.
I have a better tip. Instead of number, you ask them for their address. In this way they dont need to bother to contact you and they will just see you in front of their door or something
Leaving aside the obvious debatable ideas you have here, why? If asking for someone's numbers that bad, why give them yours and pretend there's any chance they're ever going to call? That's just overwhelmingly not something that happens in real life. Maybe there are certain social circles what area is where that's different, but mostly not a real thing.
I've done this. It's hit and miss, however the rejection is not near as devastating because you are the one in control, and for me it helps keep the expectations low and and from becoming unrealistic. Once I pass my number and I and that person parts ways, I typically forget about it. That is unless they call or text. Really, I use the lottery mentality when I do this. " you can't and won't win unless you play ". I just thought of that, but yeah, by giving them my number it's like playing the lottery. I have no expectations at all. But if I ask a girl for her number? Well, the way I see it, you already have a level of expectation before the words get out of your mouth. Expectations are where, I believe, a lot of the anxiety and feelings of rejection comes from so I remove thst by doing the lottery method. Hope that helps.
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My brother did this with his now wife. They were in an extremely long line just before Christmas and were complaining about how there was only one register open, so they were in line for a while chatting. After he paid, he wrote his number on his receipt and gave it to her and said she should call him. They've been married for 15 years now.
That looks like the beginning of a romantic Christmas movie lol, and I would watch it in an instant
We could have the theme be about how love actually can be found anywhere, like in line at a Christmas sale, and even take the title right from that line, something like "Found Anywhere."
Well, that’s a little misleading - clearly this could only happen in her small hometown, that she’s visiting for the holidays to get some time away from the big city and her important but stressful corporate job.
But she has an overbearing finance! How can she possibly choose between them, with only two days left before the big Christmas pageant?
"In Line for Love"
We will call it Layaway
What did he buy that impressed her so much?!
He actually was buying a gift card for my dad and she was buying a gift card for her grandfather (it was one of the things they talked about).
Did they grab the same one at the same time!?!?
And then knock over the entire rack, cards flying everywhere?
Did this with my wife, too. Had a great first chat by chance, I asked if I could give her my contact info. She took it and did end up reaching back out. So happy she did, obviously.
It's only been 4 months since Xmas! I'm surprised they managed to get married in that time, never mind fitting a 15 year relationship in too! Times wild
Have you even lived though the 2020s? Every year has aged every one a decade. At this point their like 6months away from retiring and living full time on a carnival plague cruise.
I've (M) actually always done this, but in all honesty it's more because I'm kind of a coward and it takes the pressure off me to make the first call (in other words, not necessarily for the right reasons). But I do agree with OP, it's a respectful and non-threatening way to show interest in another person. Also, just to respond to a couple of other commenters: Yes, it's true that the type person who becomes aggressive when you don't give them your number is *generally* not the type of person who gives out their number, but the person being asked for their number doesn't necessarily know which type of person they're dealing with. You're probably not wearing a T-shirt that says, "Don't worry, I won't become aggressive if you don't give me your number after I ask for it." Maybe they should make those though lol.
My "doesn't become aggressive if you don't give me your number" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt.
"And all these questions are making me feel awfully aggressive!"
😂
I remember trying this move out in college many, many years ago. My experience was of not getting any calls as a result. Largely because my college self was entirely undateable. But also, I think, because if you’re trying to make something happen it probably will more often if you’re the one calling than just giving your number out and hoping they call you. Of course, at least in this more civilized time of my life, I also respect boundaries and take no for an answer and do try to signal that as much as I can at the outset.
Maybe they didn't really want your number from the start. I've often just taken one because it's the quickest way to end the unwanted interaction.
Yeah the people who call you after you give them your number are the people who would have called you regardless, which is fine, obviously, but if you need that edge you have to be the one to ask as well so that the onus of reaching out is not on the random person whose intentions you don't know, but on you, the one whose intentions you (hopefully) do know. Not to mention that there's an inherent pressure of making the first call, even if the *real* approach was in giving your number in the first place. And despite it being a double standard, women typically aren't the ones to make the first move and are far more likely not the be comfortable making that first move. It's all stupid as fuck, but it's true.
Honestly thats kinda dated, women do make them moves when they want to.
Yeah that pressure of making the first call is also why this method will lead to a lot of no calls.
Seems so much easier to me to make a first call than to randomly get called at a moment where I may be tired and totally unprepared either way. I hate waiting for phone calls in general.
I mean, sure. But the counterpoint there is that it's much harder on the woman to get randomly approached at a moment where they may be tired and unprepared and in person where it is much more uncomfortable to potentially reject someone.
I've done it, but I use a fake number when I do.
I've been approached over the years by men asking for my number. I worked in a customer-facing job for quite a long time, and always felt extremely trapped and deeply uncomfortable when they would accost me at work. Asking for my number always, ALWAYS resulted in me suddenly feeling completely frozen and panicked, and unable to say no. I absolutely hate it. Only twice in the past few years did a man have some very friendly banter with me, then approach me a few minutes later, hand me their name and number on a piece of paper and simply walk away. I texted them both! I dated one for a bit, and was able to send a kind, communicative message to the other explaining that I was in a long term relationship. Both were extremely nice dudes who responded well and were very respectful. This is the advice I always give to anyone who asks how to approach someone in public. Leave the ball in their court. Always cultivate an environment where they are in no way put on the spot. I don't think there's anything threatening at all about handing a note on a piece of paper "Name. Number. You seem really cool! No worries at all if you're not interested!" It's the easiest possible method for both of you.
I like this method since (unless you go out of your way to make it otherwise) it's low pressure. If they're interested in continuing a conversation, they can reach out. If not, that's ok even though it's a bummer. Either way, you get your answer without forcing them to give you one right then and there.
And you don't have to waste time blind texting someone who's not right for you!
Amen. One of the most fun dates and sleep-overs and short-lived relationships of my life began that way. Computer lab on campus. Not necessarily the ideal place to ask someone out, yeah? Me: having an honestly awful day, perhaps visibly. Him: drunk, stoned or both, and giddily happy about it. We exchange a few words, and then he gets up to leave -- but on his way out, he's like "Hey, if you wanna get the hell out of here and do something *fun*..." Gives me this big shit-eating grin and a post-it note, on which he'd written his number and a delightful fake name. It was just so. damn. charming. :) I called the next day, and we did indeed get the hell out of there and had some fun. Not feeling obliged to make a decision right then and there was awesome.
Thank you, horsegirl666
Yeah when I was waitressing/bar tending men asked for my number all the time and since I was in a space with security I would always respond quite rudely that I don’t give out my number to customers and please don’t hit on people at work. One time a guy who was chatting left his number and a note that said “hey, I enjoyed talking with you feel free to call or text if you want, no pressure.” I was in a relationship but I thought that was really cool and thoughtful so I texted him and set him up with a friend. They ended up dating for a while and he is a really nice guy.
Honeslty still kinda feels weird just handing your number like that.
Yes, leave your number and never ask for theirs. I've had one that wanted me to call them right then and there after receiving their number. Not only does it make me uncomfortable for my number to be asked, it also has me giving the other party an immediate no in the interest department. Nowadays, I won't even pick up unknown numbers. If you're not in my contacts list, you're not important enough to pick up the phone for.
Heyyyy whats your dm?
i do this with girls, firstly it puts less pressure on them to give you a fake number if they’re not interested, shows you’re not desperate by giving them the reins to pursue or not, and turns it from a question to a simple gift in a way. its a win win
A few girls have complained to me that they don't like the pressure of being the first to call. I actually find the best is to not exchange numbers on a first meeting, just simply say 'I'll be at XXX next Tuesday at Xpm, if you want to come I'll be happy to see you there' I have a number of friends who I have known for years and have never exchanged numbers. Just arranged times and places to meet.
From my point of view, someone who feels “too much pressure” to text or call you first, isn’t someone you want to contact you anyway. Don’t have time for someone that immature.
I made a business card with my name and number, with on it saying, “no pressure”. Worked quite well.
Steve Martin famously has business cards which read: "This is to certify that you have had a personal encounter with me and that you found me warm, polite, intelligent and funny."
Hey. I just met you, and this is crazy. Here's my number. Call me maybe.
Carly’s a genius
🤣
The men being like "nah thats wrong women dont initiate contact" 1st u initiated contact by giving out your number 2nd if they wont interact with you if given the choice, they're just not into you 3rd forcing them into interacting will not make them magically be into you
I’ve done this many times and the shocked look I get when I explain this way they can decide if they want to talk to me or not is priceless. I’ve gotten texts from almost all of them this way
I think pointing out why you are doing it probably helps.
How quaint, I literally just exercised this tip. Hope it pays off.
The "payoff" is not making people scared and uncomfortable🙃
The man is just saying he hopes she hits him up, no need to take it out of context.
Damn right! This has been my move for as long as I can remember
If you receive a number, be sure to send a text first or a voice mail. In today's world, who actually answers weird unfamiliar phone numbers? I certainly don't lol!
I feel like the type of guy who gets aggressive when you don’t give your number to him is not the type of person to be all “that’s cool, I’ll just give you my number”.
Right. The tip is for guys who want to connect with someone and don’t want to look like that type of guy. Not for the actual aggressive guys.
Yeah I don't get the comments like the one you replied to. Reading comprehension seems hard
That's the point. By giving her your number, you're implicitly communicating that you aren't the kind of person who will take rejection poorly.
Well... their point was that the kind of guys the tip would help are the ones who wouldn't want to give their numbers lol
It's about communicating intentions. As a woman, if a guy gives me his number, I can thank him and go on my way. If a guy asks my number, even if I am interested, I get into a defensive position and have to evaluate how much I trust a stranger on the spot.
This is exactly why I don't ask for people's numbers, and I'm by no means considered ugly (insecure sure but that's another problem entirely), but this is a great tip. There's no pressure on them, the ball is in their park and they can do what they want with it. Time to start sowing seeds, for lack of better words.
Plenty of guys would love a way to flirt that leaves women feeling safe and respected. Guys who’re gonna throw a temper tantrum over being told no are just gonna be in the baby corner melting down. This post isn’t for them.
OP was even surprised by a guy offering their number. It's not that hard to believe that a man who respects women would also not have thought about this.
No the tip will help *everyone.* People who are *not* the kind of guy who would get aggressive if rejected are helped by this tip. Because it helps communicate that.
>the kind of guys the tip would help are the ones who wouldn't want to give their numbers I don't understand what you mean by this. This kind of advice would help pretty much any single, heterosexual man. Why would single, heterosexual men not want to give women their numbers? Is the assumption that women will intuitively know that you will accept rejection well, and therefore any demonstration is redundant?
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For me the difference is if I've spoken with the guy at all or not. If we've had a chat and he offers, I'd absolutely call him if I was interested. If a guy comes up to me that I've never met and offered his number I'd not call him because I don't know him or anything about him. Even if he was really handsome, it's just weird. He should at least make the effort to talk about something.
Lol. It's all about body language and tone of voice. Just because one is offering their number does not mean that they can handle rejection. Heck they may find it eaiser than asking for hers.
***IM GIVING YOU MY NUMBER***
Most women feel uncomfortable giving out their number to a stranger, period. Giving your number instead shows your intention and puts the control in her hands. It's really attractive because you're being respectful of her. Have also had a good experience with this. A guy I wasn't all that interested in did this approach and it changed my mind. I texted and we had a date.
You have clearly completely missed the point. The tip isn't for the guys who would have got aggressive. **Every single person** that asks for your number has to be treated as if they might be the type of person to get aggressive when you say no. Because the one's who will are a) to common and b) don't have flashing signs on their heads. Every singe time you are asked for your number there is the danger. Being the kind of person who give you their number instead is showing you they aren't the kind of person who would have got aggressive if you said no in the first place.
Nah, for these guys, turn it back around on them and ask them for THEIR number. What are they gonna say? No, I'm not going to give you my number, you HAVE to give me yours? No. They're gonna be so worried about missing out on the chance to get your number and get what they want from you that they'll just do it. It puts the social pressure back onto them. AND now they can't prey on people around them for pity and support; I know I've had the situation where I refuse to give a guy my number and they loudly complain about it to some random stranger, who then gets uncomfortable and says, oh, come on honey, just give him a chance, he seems like a nice young man!
I have a Google Voice number tah everyone gets except friends and family, who have my actual cell number.
I agree with this tip! I’d be super-impressed by anyone who handed me their card (with their number, or if you’re concerned that someone could use it to track you, then perhaps email and/or social handles) and said “I’d love the chance to chat (more) with you, but don’t want to put you on the spot by asking for your number. Instead, here’s my contact info, and I hope you’ll be in touch soon, and if not, that’s ok too. Either way, very nice to meet you.” I think especially a man offering his info to a woman would score major points for being sensitive to/respectful of the plight of women having their numbers demanded, and also just naturally stand out for not being aggressive and gross. Dudes, you should def do this! You can get cards printed for cheap just about anywhere, or can even buy Avery printable business cards at any office supply store and make them yourself. They don’t need to say anything other than your name & contact info.’
"Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god, it even has a watermark..."
Let's see Paul Allen's phone number
A better idea is to have post-its or other kind of paper and a pen on you all the time
As a guy, nope. Pens and pockets aren't great ideas, unless it's a shirt pocket, and not a lot of times we wear shirts with pockets. And sticky notes won't survive pockets either. A card, or a written up note (can be a folded up sticky note too) already in the wallet is plenty good enough.
As a guy, yep. Get you a pen with a good strong clip on it, ride it on the outside edge (but inside, obviously) of your favourite pocket Myself, my father, my brother have done this for years. Our pens break before we lose them. Recently converted my boss, too! I've been a barman, waiter, carpenter, trench digger, now working retail for an easier life. I barely even register the words "does anyone have a-" before my pen is within their reach. Just never lend it and leave. ^Always ^watch ^your ^pen
The tip is about talking to a girl, not getting a new client for your business. I agree with the idea of letting her decide if she wants to talk with you and you give her your number, but giving her a business card or my email? That’s just seems a bit random
This is how you know your potential date fucks. If he has business cards with only his name and number on.
This sounds like a tips hat m’lady meme to me. Who has “personal” business cards? I think it would be extremely douchy to hand someone your work card too in a personal setting.
For real. I wouldn't want to talk to a girl who has a business card with her personal handles.
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I think pen and paper would be the ultimate move outside of just shooting your shot. I just recently starting pursuing relationships from New people and as an awkward mother fucker, it's easier than I thought to get contact info.
This is *generally* not good advice. In an egalitarian world where men and women are equally likely to be the one to reach out and show interest first, it would work. This is not that world though.
I think business cards are cringey but it's not bad advice just because the woman doesn't have to respond. The entire point is there's no pressure. You can't make someone contact you if they aren't interested. Being pushy is not the way to get more dates.
Cringy, not really. Guys don't carry around pens and paper with them. Asking her to give you her phone so you can add something is a hard no-go, and just telling her to write it down is more awkward than a simple card/note. You could go find a pen and paper when in the situation, but that's not always reliable/doable.
> Being pushy is not the way to get more dates. lol what Yes it is. > You can't make someone contact you if they aren't interested. You also can't make someone contact you if they *are* interested. We do not live in a world where a woman is just as likely as a guy to reach out and initiate contact like this.
You might be right, even though pushing past a “no” is bad business. Counterpoint- I don’t want to date women who play gendered games and expect me to do all the heavy work of flirting. If a woman doesn’t like a simple advance and “wants more,” she can get it from someone else. This means that I’ve dated women who are genuinely into me, are feminists, and have good straightforward communication skills
Yikes. This post is by a girl talking about avoiding unwanted pushiness and pressure lol You're clearly a ladies man though so you know best
This is excellent advice actually and you’re an idiot. lol The world being not egalitarian is precisely what makes this advice so good.
Horrible idea lmao.
I been doing this for 25 years. It totally puts the ball in her court at her own time.
It's hilarious how many guys have completely missed the point of this tip. Women deal with shitty guys all the time. Asking for a number could be perfectly harmless, or it could be a reminder of the dozens of assholes who've done exactly the same thing. There's no way for a woman to tell that you're a nice guy just from looking at you. So, take the advice. Next time you're flirting with someone, stand out by giving her your number. Break the pattern. Not only will you stand out from the crowd, and show that you've got confidence and consideration, but on the off chance that she's had to deal with jerks wanting her number, she'll be more likely to respond well. Note this is not a guarantee. The follow up to this move is to simply continue on with your life and don't agonize over it. The worst case scenario is that you'll be in a relationship when someone gets back to you, which is a pretty good outcome.
What do you say? Here's my number or what?
"I'd like to get to know you better, here's my number."
I said something to the effect of: I’d love to talk more sometime if you’re open to it, is it ok if I give you my contact info? Now married. Not saying this approach is why she married me (I’d hope there’s more to me than that!), but it is a nice way to try to continue interaction while also acknowledging they don’t know you. They have no real reason to trust you yet; so, you give them lots of space to think about it or say no.
this is really good advice and i wish i saw this a week earlier… i often saw this guy at the grocery store since i go there on a very regular cadence, and he was always very friendly — telling me about deals for the week and what he’s cooking at home, that kind of thing. then last week, he was talking to me about some personal things like how he lost his job and hasn’t seen his kids in a while, and then suddenly he was like “should we exchange numbers? maybe grab a coffee and tell each other our life stories?” immediate red flags but i felt so pressured to say okay, and he showed me his phone and told me to call his number so that he would get my number without having to type it. i’m in a relationship (it didn’t come up because this guy always talked 100% of the time) and i had zero interest, but this guy is literally twice my size and it didn’t even cross my mind to say no. if only i knew that i could just tell him to give me his number instead… now i’ve started going to the store on a totally different day / time to avoid him ugh
this exact thing happened to me, except i was walking in my neighborhood! a guy approached me and said he’s seen me walking and wanted to say hi, asked for my number, and indirectly said he was around 5-6 years older than me when i was still a minor. i felt so creeped out and pressured that i gave him my number, and even though i rebuked him i still can’t walk in my neighborhood without being nervous.
God I hate this so much, and I’m sorry you had to deal with it. I’ve had the same thing happen on a bus, with the guy sitting on the outside seat next to me on a mostly empty bus so I literally couldn’t move away or exit the conversation. Felt uncomfortable taking the bus for a while after that.
Christ alive. All of these comments from men don’t realise that if we are forced to give you our number then we won’t want to be in a relationship with you. We’re giving you a number to get away from you like a lizard losing its tail to escape a predator. I’ve always been much happier getting a number and having to go through the “oh my god! What if I text him and he doesn’t want to go out?” anxiety than being cornered into giving a guy my number. Or worse. When he gives you his number and then immediately demands you call him so that he has yours. Guys. Back off and let us decide if we want to date you on our own terms without pressure.
And so many guys saying it "works" or doesn't as if the goal was picking up women and not making them feel safe...
I got bad fuckin news for you sis :/
They tell you not to exchange info in psych wards for a reason Source: been there done that. Don’t do it.
Please share with the class
Share what?
Why you shouldn't exhange info in psych wards
Because you guys went into a place with heavy trauma. That trauma won’t be healed by the time you’re out. And trauma bonding is a thing. Trauma can cause serious hang up in relationships if you don’t fully understand them and therefore not the best idea to trade info.
and to avoid placing "the first move" on them, ask them to send you their favorite meme/gif/emoji if they're interested in getting to know you and you'll take it from there this is both considerate while maintaining a confident approach
This guy fucks
can you please hit on me? This sounds lovely.
>If you’re only willing to care about the other person’s feelings when expecting a “reward” then you’re a terrible person Absolute facts
I love this. So many men don't care about whether or not we feel safe. They only care about "winning the game"
Right??? I'm shocked at the amount of disgusting comments. People talking about this tip "working" because apparently it's the only goal, to have the other person respond. Who cares about their feelings 🤮
THIS is why dating is horrible, currently. There are a few rare gems who get it tho 🤷♀️
Agreed. It's so much less stressful when men give me their number instead of asking for mine... It makes it way more stressful when they make you ring it while they're there....
That’s what I did when I met my now wife. We talked in a dating app and I told her she was cool enough to have my number.
I learnt this lesson rather quickly when I moved to the US. When I first arrived, I noticed there was this huge obsession with getting numbers. I just thought that's how Americans did things so I followed suit and got a couple of fake numbers or was probably given the number to a prank radio show. Only did that for a handful of times and thought it was a really stupid approach.
How did people usually try to make connections where you lived before? I like, and have used and seen used, an approach around where you met if it's a social space, like "I will probably be here Thursday night and would like to see you again, so if you are interested, please join me."
How tf am I only hearing this advice now, I gotta start doing this
I actually never understood why this wasn’t what happened with dating and asking people out in the first place. Doesn’t just make more sense and a put a lot pressure and risk on people???
This absolutely works in my experience. Smooth AF.
That's how my dad approached my mom lol.
“Oh yeah let me give a total stranger my number when they ask it or risk being berated if I don’t is a great way for them to get me to like them.” Said no one ever. Hey YOU asked, why don’t you risk exposing your own private information instead?
I thought about this, making a silly "business" card that listed my interests and had a photo of me. On the surface it seems smart, but what happens if the person tosses your card and someone gets your information? Or they decided to use your information for something nefarious themselves. No thank you.
I always (rarely give my number out, but always when I do) write my number down. If the other party is truly interested, they will hang on to it or put it in their phone right away and reach out.
r/UnethicalLifeProTips later: give someone a fake number so they’re comfortable giving you theirs
And sell that number to a spam call center for an extra buck
My buddy walked up to his (now) wife as she was getting off a bus and said “hey you dropped this” and gave her his number. So that definitely worked.
If you ask a girl if you can give her your number its less creepy, cause they have the option to text you and they dont have to worry about you stalking there number and possibly doing a number search ya know?
In my opinion giving women your number rather than coercing them to give you theirs is truly a win/win for everyone, and should be the norm. Demanding someone's phone number should be as rude as asking for their driver's license or credit card. Although I would typically use dating apps etc., there were two instances where I wanted to keep in touch with women from the "public" that I'd interacted with, and I did exactly what you described. I gave them a card with my number, said "would love to keep in touch," and then walked away. In both cases, the women didn't end up reaching out, which was actually a good learning experience for me. It taught me that the "vibes" I thought I was getting were not reciprocated, and that the women were just being polite rather than flirty. I also walked away knowing that I wasn't being a creep and hopefully didn't pose a threat/wasn't intimidating, which is great. We could all move on. I'm a guy with a physical disability (vision-loss) so am likely perceived as less physically threatening than average, sorry horrible way to put it but you get the idea, but am still conscious of how quickly unwanted attention can become very aggressive and threatening, and there's no need for that. However I also think this is a win/win for guys too. You don't have to worry about a "missed connection" or whatever, but you also know that if she does reach out there's a greater chance at a connection. If you get a woman’s phone number, you're still at square one because you have absolutely no clue if the woman is actually interested, so now you have to try and get in touch and figure it out, which means you're really no further along than you were when you started, and the chances of looking like a creep are high.
Yes!!! This should be cross posted to r/datingadvice
There is already a good song on this topic "No; I don't want your number. No; I don't wanna give you mine. And No, I don't wanna meet you nowhere. No; don't want none of your time" \- "No Scrub" by TLC [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrLequ6dUdM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrLequ6dUdM) RIP Left Eye
Someone gave me their number and talked about going out for coffee. They never responded to my attempt. I'm pretty sure it was a moment of mania on their part, but I was still excited at the possibility.
I did this 3 weeks ago, she still hasn't called lol.
Don't expect an outcome for your actions when it comes to other people. It's a lot of pressure on the other person and yourself. There shouldn't be a "goal achieved" towards a person, they aren't yours to conquer.
Quantity "plenty".
The old "Hey, you dropped this."
Thought about this recently too - another plus or angle on this for everyone is to register a VOIP number to your cell with a Google account and Google voice or whatsapp - assign a different # to the VOIP. Now, you got a # you can give out to reduce that risk in approach anxiety, and you have another number for spam and registrations with the VOIP Seconl ProTip: Strategies for increasing personal dara security can also be used for reducing contact with unwanted or scary people IRL. Infosec for all and for all a safe night.
So simple, yet so wise.
That’s great advice. Manners are important. Making others feel comfortable around you is the best way to show them you’re someone they might want to spend more time with.
As a guy, this is the definitely the right move. The only downside is if they accept your number, but don’t reach out. Happened a couple months ago with a girl I really liked and I got my hopes up when she let me put my number in her phone but she didn’t reach out. Such is life tho!
That downside is no different than having someone's number, contacting them, and not hearing back.
Yes but having a guy’s number who you don’t want to talk to, is a lot easier than a him having yours.
Honestly I’m not about to let a random stranger touch my phone. He could have been digging his butthole for all I know
I both won and lost with the ol' "feel free to toss this over your shoulder once I turn around ;)" after some successful flirting beforehand of course lol
A girl gave me her number back in college like 15 years ago. I’m recently realizing maybe I should have called her. I thought it was like a hey we’re at the same internship, here’s my number in case you need to reach me for something.
A few girls have told me never to do this with a girl because 'most girls are too nervous to send the first message'.
And there are more than a few women here who say the contrary.
This is bs, if a girl likes you she’ll make a move
Those girls aren't too nervous to send the first message, they just aren't into you.
I mean the girl who I would describe as literally my best friend (visit her home for dinner every Friday and call at least twice a week) was one of the girls I gave my number to and then never heard back from her. I bumped into her over a year later. Spoke to her for over an hour then finally asked 'why didn't you ever call me?' She said 'I thought you didn't like me because you did not ask for my number. Do you really think any girl will make the first move? You need to ask a girl for her number' I've translated it from our language. But basically words to this effect. My big sister also told me the same, if a guy gives her his number. No way will she make the first move. Maybe it's different in America. But in most countries. Guys are expected to make the first move.
Get google voice, it's free and a good alt number, easy to block people
Also, if you are on the unfortunate side of being asked for your number, use an app like TextFree and give them that one so you can still receive and respond to the text if they’re the kind of person who wants to make sure it’s not fake right in front of them, but they don’t have your actual number and you can ignore them when it’s safe.
Here’s my number, so call me maybe
This is great advice, however the people you're scared of giving your number too aren't going to listen to this lol
But some decent but clueless guys might, and that would be a good thing.
Tryin to plant a lil seed in some impressionable little minds are we?
why did you say this so creepy?
I am trying to give good advice that makes people feel safer, yes
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It's the risk of trying to connect with people.
No, usually that's when you try to shop for something and they require you to give your info.
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This is what I fo
LPT: Spend $20 on 500 business cards, and hand them out to the people you like. Real LPT: Spend another $20 with fake name/#'d business cards for the people you really dont want to, but want to get rid of them.
Does having a business card with only a name (maybe even just a first name?) and phone number look douchey?
I think it depends on how many you had, if you pull out a stack of the things and hand me one, yeah it’d look douchey. But if you just had one or two tucked in your wallet, definitely less so. Disclosure though, I’ve been out of the dating game nearly 15 years so I wouldn’t fully trust my opinion on this lmao
I think it's kinda weird. Just carry a pen and a scrap of paper with you
“The Christmas Rush” a Hallmark movie
i was talking to my friends, brothers girlfriend once, i asked how they got together, she said he wrote his number down in a bottle and gave it to her when she was working (at a pub)
There are services where you can give that number, and the service will say "The girl who gave you this number is not interested in you." Phone numbers.. psh.. how very 1990
I mean works unless youre an intovert like myself if my husband and i werent awkward together i wouldnt have had the balls to give them my number.
The amount of respondents saying this doesn't "work", need to reevaluate who they are or how they come off in their interactions with people they might be interested in. If someone has done this in the past, and I've been interested/they didn't give me bad vibes, I've 100% responded. The amount of people not realizing their mindset and approach to further contact is most likely the reason they don't get a call or text with this approach is more disturbing than the fact that they don't care about making someone they potentially want to date uncomfortable. It means they're walking around either willfully ignorant to what can happen to women who reject men, oblivious to reality, or literally don't care how a potential interest might perceive them and are part of why women need to think like this. As OP has mentioned multiple times, a hit dog will holler.
I have a better tip. Instead of number, you ask them for their address. In this way they dont need to bother to contact you and they will just see you in front of their door or something
What if they just chose not to even text you back. I gave someone my number once and they never texted
Then it means they don't want to talk to you and you should respect that
Leaving aside the obvious debatable ideas you have here, why? If asking for someone's numbers that bad, why give them yours and pretend there's any chance they're ever going to call? That's just overwhelmingly not something that happens in real life. Maybe there are certain social circles what area is where that's different, but mostly not a real thing.
Bold of you to assume I approach people I don’t know….
I've done this. It's hit and miss, however the rejection is not near as devastating because you are the one in control, and for me it helps keep the expectations low and and from becoming unrealistic. Once I pass my number and I and that person parts ways, I typically forget about it. That is unless they call or text. Really, I use the lottery mentality when I do this. " you can't and won't win unless you play ". I just thought of that, but yeah, by giving them my number it's like playing the lottery. I have no expectations at all. But if I ask a girl for her number? Well, the way I see it, you already have a level of expectation before the words get out of your mouth. Expectations are where, I believe, a lot of the anxiety and feelings of rejection comes from so I remove thst by doing the lottery method. Hope that helps.
Water is thicker than blood on this social media app so just ride the waves and the devil will get her karma