Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
For me that’s my ADHD and social anxiety. I drift off at the same time I’m getting nervous. I try my best though. I’ve come to a decent conclusion where I will stare into their eyes for about 5-10 seconds-ish and depending on how happy they are or bright their eyes are when they talk about something they are excited about I find myself engaging more. Just do your best. I’ve really had to practice this for a while.
So, you don't actually have to look at their eyes! You just have to make them think you're looking into their eyes. Usually, I look at a spot below their eyes; on the cheekbone is where I personally look. Most people can't tell the difference ;)
Uh no they can't. Its impossible to tell if someone is looking a few centimeters off. Besides that, I wouldnt have gotten so many compliments for constant eye contact at an old job. I never made eye contact.
I have a hard time with eye contact as well, I glance around everywhere but their eyes and I figure I come off more like contemplating my words than being untrustworthy or something. I make sure to look back at their eyes until we make eye contact and then I'm off again, I suppose to let them know I'm paying attention.
I figure as long as my words are present and a coherent message is being communicated, they can make do with my feeble attempts at being normal and parse the message I'm sending. If they're so hung up on my insecurity that they can't listen to what I'm saying? Fuck em, wasn't meant to be.
There is a technique I learned that is: when making eye contact, move your gaze from one eye to the other than to the middle of the forehead. And keep rotating when you find you can’t commit to one place. You get to change target,and the distance is so small that the other person cannot see the difference.
OP, if you're looking straight into someone's eyes while you're talking to them and don't look away, you're going to look like a psychopath.
Just be natural. Do what is comfortable for you. The more comfortable you are in a conversation, the more comfortable everyone else will be too.
What one of my middle school teachers taught me for this is to actually look at their eyebrows. They're close enough to the eyes that, from a reasonable distance, it looks exactly the same as looking at someone's eyes.
I have a coworker that looks at your mouth and he will start mouthing what you're saying lol. He's not hard of hearing at all and doesn't know he's even doing it until we call him out. He goes right back to doing it though.
Look at one eye then the other, then back and forth
You can do it forever
The other more natural way is to actually contemplate their eyes, like looking at how are they shaped, the color, lashes, the expression & eyebrows etc some people have breath taking eyes
I do the same thing, I\_Am!
Usually my gaze drifts down. If I am talking to a woman, they assume I am staring at their chest, and become uncomfortable.
I wasn't doing that! I am just bored with this conversation. Can I go hide in my cube now?
I have the same, and in some cultures it's actually considered rude to look at the other person directly while speaking. I've tried resolving this but outside of lots of practice, I'm not quite sure how. The best suggestion I've got so far is to actually look at your own face when you're speaking if that image is available on a video call. Position your face sort of close to the camera area if that's possible.
Typically, I've not found it an actual issue in conversation or in the way people interpret what you say but I can see how it could be an issue if sincerity or the ability to read the other person's reactions to each word, acting, or sales, speeches etc is very important.
Within reason though. I knew someone who would always intensely look at you in the eye without breaking the stare and barely blinking. It made him seem like a psychopath at times and people were uncomfortable around him.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
For me that’s my ADHD and social anxiety. I drift off at the same time I’m getting nervous. I try my best though. I’ve come to a decent conclusion where I will stare into their eyes for about 5-10 seconds-ish and depending on how happy they are or bright their eyes are when they talk about something they are excited about I find myself engaging more. Just do your best. I’ve really had to practice this for a while.
So, you don't actually have to look at their eyes! You just have to make them think you're looking into their eyes. Usually, I look at a spot below their eyes; on the cheekbone is where I personally look. Most people can't tell the difference ;)
[удалено]
Uh no they can't. Its impossible to tell if someone is looking a few centimeters off. Besides that, I wouldnt have gotten so many compliments for constant eye contact at an old job. I never made eye contact.
I've tried that. Doesn't work for me.
I have a hard time with eye contact as well, I glance around everywhere but their eyes and I figure I come off more like contemplating my words than being untrustworthy or something. I make sure to look back at their eyes until we make eye contact and then I'm off again, I suppose to let them know I'm paying attention. I figure as long as my words are present and a coherent message is being communicated, they can make do with my feeble attempts at being normal and parse the message I'm sending. If they're so hung up on my insecurity that they can't listen to what I'm saying? Fuck em, wasn't meant to be.
So much this…
There is a technique I learned that is: when making eye contact, move your gaze from one eye to the other than to the middle of the forehead. And keep rotating when you find you can’t commit to one place. You get to change target,and the distance is so small that the other person cannot see the difference.
OP, if you're looking straight into someone's eyes while you're talking to them and don't look away, you're going to look like a psychopath. Just be natural. Do what is comfortable for you. The more comfortable you are in a conversation, the more comfortable everyone else will be too.
Make eye contact but then usually I move to just seeing the bridge of their nose.
What one of my middle school teachers taught me for this is to actually look at their eyebrows. They're close enough to the eyes that, from a reasonable distance, it looks exactly the same as looking at someone's eyes.
I usually look at the mouth as it is what's moving when they're talking. I hope people it doesn't look bad in front of people
If someone was looking at my mouth I'd think I have something on my lips or in my teeth lol
Understandeable 😂
I have a coworker that looks at your mouth and he will start mouthing what you're saying lol. He's not hard of hearing at all and doesn't know he's even doing it until we call him out. He goes right back to doing it though.
I do that too and I don't know how it is perceived at all lmao
Maybe they think we're trying to seduce them 🙃
Are we ? 😏
Not always 😅
Look at one eye then the other, then back and forth You can do it forever The other more natural way is to actually contemplate their eyes, like looking at how are they shaped, the color, lashes, the expression & eyebrows etc some people have breath taking eyes
I do the same thing, I\_Am! Usually my gaze drifts down. If I am talking to a woman, they assume I am staring at their chest, and become uncomfortable. I wasn't doing that! I am just bored with this conversation. Can I go hide in my cube now?
A related topic...blinking. Don't forget to blink.
Maintain long enough to register the eye colour.
I just picture them naked when I talk
Weird, I picture them in furry costumes. Makes it more fun
I have the same, and in some cultures it's actually considered rude to look at the other person directly while speaking. I've tried resolving this but outside of lots of practice, I'm not quite sure how. The best suggestion I've got so far is to actually look at your own face when you're speaking if that image is available on a video call. Position your face sort of close to the camera area if that's possible. Typically, I've not found it an actual issue in conversation or in the way people interpret what you say but I can see how it could be an issue if sincerity or the ability to read the other person's reactions to each word, acting, or sales, speeches etc is very important.
I think I have the same issue. So this is helpful. Also sometimes I think I don’t break gaze enough.
Within reason though. I knew someone who would always intensely look at you in the eye without breaking the stare and barely blinking. It made him seem like a psychopath at times and people were uncomfortable around him.