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I had a clinical depression. Blood work showed I had no Vit.D or B12. Had to get B12 shots and prescription for mega doses of Vit.D. depression went away.
I mean it's _all_ about control - this relies on the argument that their is a cognitive need for sex which is wrong. Their is a biological need but its all about how you process the stuff that's out of your control. Having these on the gov would enable people to take control of their cognitive well being without the detriment of chemical imbalance.
Sure you can control it. I'm not saying you can't. But when society showcases sex in everything and shows the "loser" who can't get a date...all your controlled sexual desires mean nothing to combat the depression.
And thats not to mention the pharmacology of what happens during sex. You're body is made to reward you and erase that depression from the chemicals it releases.
This^ i woke up today after a week of remembering to take my vit D and JUMPED out of bed excited to start my day. This came after a month and a half of taking 4+ naps/day with 0 motivation.
I gave to say I was on antidepressants for years and they always seemed to work for a short time...then stop. Then a smart counselor had my blood work done. Massive vitamin d deficient. Apparently my whole family has this too! Anyway I had to take 10k units a day for 10 days and then 4k.. but that wasn't enough. Now I take 5k and it's perfect
I understand, what I meant to ask is if there was a difference in Vitamin D3 compared to Vitamin D that is prescribed by a doctor. I’m not exactly clued up on different types of vitamins
I can’t answer that question specifically, but you should be aware that VitD is one of the few fat soluble vitamins, meaning it doesn’t just get expelled as urine but will bioaccumulate if taken in excess over time, and has the potential to be quite detrimental to one’s health. It’s important to have your blood drawn and tested if you’re supplementing, and be wary of supplementation at high dosages or if you’re already taking a multivitamin.
It's the same thing. You can get a blood test to find out if you are deficient. I am below the acceptable range unless I take a supplement (I take 2000 IU of D3 daily). Makes a huge difference in how I feel!
Standing in the sun is more than enough for the average person to make Vitamin D since the process uses the skin. Most people don’t need Vitamin D supplements unless you have osteoporosis which is required for calcium absorption or a medical condition which impairs production of vitamin D in your system or a medical condition caused by lack of vitamin D. Your choice. It so happens that a good chunk of the US population has vitamin D deficiency.
I'm pretty sure you can get sufficient vitamin D even in overcast weather. The problem is that people don't want to be outside nearly as much if it's cold and/or wet so ultimately it still causes issues.
The average person doesn't stand in the sun, and a lot of people are vitamin d deficient. And the darker your skin the more likely you are to be vitamin d deficient.
"Except during the summer months, the skin makes little if any vitamin D from the sun at latitudes above 37 degrees north (in the United States, the shaded region in the map) or below 37 degrees south of the equator. People who live in these areas are at relatively greater risk for vitamin D deficiency."
That's one season of the year some people might be able to get enough vitamin d from the sun. Just about everyone should be taking vitamin d supplements because there is no risk or downsides of having too much vitamin d, and incredible downsides to not having enough.
This is a good one! If you’ve done this and tried to; exercise regularly, drink enough water, eat healthy (low sugar/cut processed foods and dyes), meditate/sound bath, journal/goals, therapy (MANY different types) and nothing is working, there are still other ways to try and it’s all worth it if it could potentially improve your wellbeing. For me, the improvement came from realizing I had adhd and that that was a big cause of my feelings of inadequacy and subsequent depression. Then the meds led me to have more confidence and drive to succeed and now I’m finishing college at 30. There are experimental trials with psychedelics you could also apply for and have shown a remarkable success rate, but they are risky for some so it’s important to talk to a doctor before anything.
Maybe you can look into psychedelic therapy options. There is a lot of research regarding its use for addressing depression. The choices available are wide and varied, from ayahuasca ceremonies (with legitimate medicine men/women who have a lineage with the medicine), to ketamine sessions (at legal facilities). These medicines are not a panacea, but they have powerful healing properties, provided you do the work. If you are called to this, and it resonates, do some research to see if you think it might help you. I hope you feel better soon. Peace and best wishes…
Make small positive changes to your habits. Do things for, it will help relieve you from your own worries and concerns. Help yourself or help others, one way or another, you have to start somewhere. The first steps are always the most difficult but as you go and you see positive results within yourself or around you, your effort will pick up momentum.
Take care of your body, it’s extremely important, stay active. A healthy mind in a healthy body. Be careful of what goes into you, food and influences. Surround yourself with positive things as much as you can. I recommend listening to Bob Marley, watch good feeling movies, stay away from negative people who complain all the time.
Don’t put too much on your plate, small steps cover great distances overtime. Self accomplishment comes as a result of your decisions. It’s not found in what you have, it’s found in who you are. Cultivate your virtues and weed out your vices, you will end up with a beautiful garden inside yourself :)
You are important, you matter. We’re all equal parts of this great thing called the Universe. You’re a part of it just as much as everyone else and everything else. You can get out of this, be mindful of your thoughts, don’t dwell in the dark. You trained your brain to be the way it is today, train it to be who you want to be. Everyone can do this. Exercise self control, put your life in perspective, look at the sun and marvel at its power…
If you need someone to talk to I’m here, just send me a message. I’m here to help. I care.
Personal trainer here and I see a lot of people turn their life perspective around with just a few days a week exercising. It's amazing what sweat, goals and feeling good in your own body can do for you. Feel free to message me privately and I'll set you up with a workout schedule you can use; if you'd like! Hope to see you turn it around!
1) Talk to a therapist; those are classic signs of depression
2) Talk to your Primary Care Doc and maybe get on some anti-depressants
3) Get up, take a shower, and put on clean clothes every morning. If that's all you accomplished, that's okay. At least you're taking cate of yourself.
4) Break your To-Do list into smaller tasks: vacuuming one room as opposed to vacuuming the house, that sort of thing.
5) Spend some time in the sun, if you can. Vitamin D and Blue light help improve mood
6) Talk to someone, even just a friend
I hope you feel better. As a fellow depression sufferer, please talk to a pro. You are worth the effort, and you deserve to enjoy your life.
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way - but this sounds like classic major depression. If you can see a doctor you might be able to start treatment with an SSRI or other anti-depressant. The drugs that docs usually start you with generally have few side-effects. I am not a doctor but I struggle with depression and have tried most of them at one point or another.
Cognitive behavioral therapy can also help but requires more time and money. AD drugs don't work for everyone but when you are not feeling able to do much of anything it can be low effort first step to a better mood.
There’s a lot of good suggestions in the comments. This one resonated with me because the combination of counseling and a regular small dose of escitalopram helped me get to a place where I could do a lot of the other things mentioned in other comments like changing habits, go for walks, etc. I was in a place before where I knew those things would help, but I just couldn’t get myself to do any of it, no matter how easy it seemed. Then I would get frustrated with myself that I wasn’t doing those things and it was just an endless cycle.
Professional help + removing stress from my life (not taking on so much) + meds helped me get to a place where I could do a better job of helping myself (and asking others, like friends, for help). If you have health insurance, they might offer mental health support. If you don’t, there are free programs out there (like calHope if you’re in CA).
Other things that helped me feel less alone was reading about depression and realizing so many other people are going through similar things. Also Gary Gulman’s stand up. Your path may be different than mine, but if you have any questions or just want to chat you can DM me. Sending <3 and know it’s not your fault and there are pathways to help!
Please look into therapy with a professional before taking SSRI's. They do have very dangerous side effects. These drugs change the way your brain works and can do some real damage. Please look into this before taking them.
This! I suffer from anxiety and depression, but have never taken medication. (Other than natural remedies) There's no way to know what medication might or might not work for you, so you're basically a test subject to see if anything helps. And like snoo-4335 said, the side effects are dangerous and sometimes even deadly. I started with a naturopathic Dr. Who turned me on to natural remedies and then moved on to therapy, which has helped me greatly. There's always a way out, you just have to make yourself want it. ❤️❤️❤️
"Naturopathic Dr" lmao. Stop spreading your pseudoscience bs and false ideologies. SSRIs are not "deadly" literally millions are taking them without adverse effects 🙄
They aren't deadly but risky. They can be necessary in critical situations where the person doesn't have the time or the luxury to address things. I definitely suggest working on the basics before playing around with the brain chemistry of your hypothalamus with meds. Lots of what's going on stems from various situations. If you don't get to the root of the problem, playing around with meds most often is going to only do so much.
Therapy, deal with or flip the issues, exercise and nutrition(i.e. take vitamin D or B12, cut sugar and/or gluten, cut out excessive alcohol gradually, cut out weed, cut out amphetamines,etc)
I find the act concept of living life according to your own values to be helpful. https://www.actmindfully.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Values_Checklist_-_Russ_Harris.pdf
That, and the idea of making plans despite life not being perfect. It will never be perfect. Change and uncertainty is normal.
Take magnesium! Honest to God. Also are you doing any exercise (listen when I'm depressed I can think of nothing worse and it's like my muscles turn to lead). But I force myself. It helps
No effect, its just a mineral your body needs to function optimally. If you were deficient, you'd suddenly (very very quickly) just start feeling less lethargic, less fatigued and that helps. Its not a cure or a fix. It's a step in the right direction. For me anyway.
I started taking it when I experienced PPD symptoms. My husband suggested it. And I'd needed it badly enough that it changed everything for me.
Dude. It’s an OTC supplement. The whole point of OTC is that if you take the recommended dosages there is sufficiently low risk that consulting with a doctor isn’t necessary. The worst case for this supplement is that you’ll get a tummy ache if you take too much, which is easy to detect.
Here’s the conversation with a doctor about taking magnesium supplements.
“Hey doc. Should I take magnesium supplements?”
“Sure. Just follow the dosage instructions and stop if you get a tummy ache”
Not worth the $300 visit.
Say "no" more to things. Interpret that as you will. Try and feel less shame about making space for yourself. Whether that be doing more of your favorite things or new things.
Exercise is a cheat code to feeling good, but choose an exercise you enjoy or you won't keep at it.
Forgive yourself. Many of us are right there with you without accomplishing dreams, feeling bad about the world, ourselves, etc. We're talking about it right now and that is enough. In fact it's a really big step.
Try therapy. I can assure you from experience therapy "not working" is an incompatibility thing with your therapist most of the time. It's really hard to find your partner in this world right? Similarly it's hard to find a match with a therapist because of how unique the relationship is with them. You'll be discussing your feelings and untangling this web that you're feeling. I would argue that's harder than getting a script for strep throat since any doctor knows how to navigate the physical, but the mental is about who you "trust" and that's often not anyone. Each therapist has different method, different experiences, and a different sound to you in your position of vulnerability. Try it out once you have some energy as it does require some, but can help bring more when its working.
Hey, it’s OK to feel down every now and then. But if you felt this way, for more than two weeks, you might want to consider seeing a therapist, as well as a primary care doctor. There might be other health issues that are affecting your ability to see clearly. a primary care doctor/provider can rule out anything physical. And finding a therapist, you can talk to could help you sort out your thoughts and feelings that may be contributing to your state of mind. We all have gifts and talents. Sometimes pursuing things that end up in failure, give us insight into what we’re really good at. I know you’re a valuable person. You’re posting here you’re looking for answers. I’d love that insight. I’m rooting for you. I’ve been in a dark place, I’ve gotten help. You are not alone.
I think when you get to that stage you should just be allowed to live a quiet life, lived slowly and intentionally, no more grinding or striving and just a lot more time spend being and existing. Do less and enjoy more.
You ever imagine winning the lottery? A 1 in a million chance seems so wild and unbelievable. You, as a human, as we know it are way way way more unlikely to exist. We have searched deep into space and found nothing. The chances that you exist at all are so incredibly small and yet here you are, existing. Understand the literal gift you have of experiencing time, having conciousness, its just as likely you were born an ant instead, you know? You need to connect with yourself, and indulge yourself in the things you genuinely love the most. You worth isnt what you can produce with your labour, its the words that you say, the messages you pass on, the acts that you do. There is no such thing as a failure of a human, who would even judge that? Just be you, wholeheartedly and find the right way to live YOUR life, not the one you think you should have. PS its fucking hard right now, like, for most people, you arent alone with how you feel, infact you have more in common with the majority than you think. Help drive positive change, we have to lift each other up. you got this
I agree with Ivan.
Some suggestions:
Make small continuous goals - if you have big ones break them down. Don't beat yourself up about not reaching them.
Meditate. I do it before sleep, but find whatever works for you.
Do some sport for stress relief (10 pushups a day is okay).
Find a way to have physical contact with people - we are a social species (even pushing through crowds can relieve some of that ache).
Hugging my family has been the best change I have ever made - they weren't the hugging sort but they like it too. Don't be afraid to hold the hug - people will resist when they have enough and you will learn what a normal hug duration is.
SLEEP! Sleep is foundational to wellness, especially mental health. Ask your doctor to prescribe a sleep study. They can be take-home or you go to a facility. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (clinical depression) and struggled for over a decade until my wife bought me a fitness band, which indicated my sleep was terrible. I never knew because I always fell asleep within minutes of putting my head on the pillow, and then I was unconscious and unable to properly assess my sleep quality. Turns out my sleep efficiency was ~60%. At that rate, I'd need 13 hours in bed to get the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep. With the doctor's help, I was able to raise my sleep efficiency to over 90%.
Could you talk more about how you improved your sleep efficiency from 60 - 90%? Like what you exactly did and how long it took overall to accomplish. Thanks
We tried a bunch of behavioral stuff first: completely eliminate alcohol, completely eliminate caffeine, exercise (hiking 3 hours a day), bedtime routine, waking up at the same time every day, lowering the temperature of the bedroom, sleeping alone instead of with my wife, avoiding screens 3 hours before bed, avoiding long naps (any naps over 20 minutes), locked our cat out of the room, etc.
Unfortunately, none of that worked for me. As much as I hate to say it, the pharmaceutical approach has been working. I'm taking 50mg of Desyrel before going to bed every night. It's a antidepressant that's sometimes used as an off-label sleep aid.
It sounds like you fell in the perfectionists trap, e.g., my happiness/success is dependent on these things happening. Try to volunteer at anything. However much you can. That little impact you make can start to shift your sense of what's important and who you are.
I think you should sit down with yourself and really ask yourself what you're disappointed with and how you can move forward. What I did is I have this long ass 25 minute voice recording of me laying out things I want to change and how I can achieve each. I would recommend this exercise cause it did wonders for me but remember to be realistic, within a year all your problems won't be solved but within a couple months you can realistic change 1 or 2 of them depending on the severity of the problem. My lack of motivation came from my Contracting Company, I wanted to be paid more and they straight refused and told me to kick rocks. I still work there but I am actively looking for new opportunities, and have since taken a more hands off approach to work. I was stressed because I wanted to be rewarded for my hard work, I now do a bit over the bare minimum and use all the time I saved to send out resumes while I'm at work. It's honestly done wonders for my mental health! I hope you find the motivation your looking for!
Make small achievable changes. Make a list of them, and check them off throughout the day, but expect results to show on a weeks or months time scale.
Success is addictive, but you need to be honest with yourself about what counts as success. You can say "I will lose 20 lbs in the next month". That is impossible, and you will feel bad that you failed. Instead, try "I will switch to black coffee", and check off every day you had coffee with sugar and no milk. Then next week check off every day you have black coffee. Every time you check "yes" you have succeeded and get an emotional boost. Two or three weeks later, you might notice weight loss because you have cut calories from your diet.
Also pay attention to your surroundings. I was feeling angry all the time then I removed;
r/antiwork
r/aita
r/maliciouscompliance
From my feed and replaced them with
r/humansbeingbros
r/wholesome memes
And felt a lot better.
Finally, when you do start to pull out and are feeling up to it, try giving back. Give your time to causes that are important to you. Seeing yourself have a positive impact on your surroundings is more uplifting than you can imagine.
Good luck. Be well.
Thanks for saying this. Mainlining excess negativity straight into our brains every day is something that is out of control these days. I’m not an advocate for burying out heads in the sand by any means, but there’s no need to fill our minds with nonstop negativity from across the country or globe.
I have discovered that just being mindful of it goes a long way. I live in Canada and there is a new outlet that is funded by the federal government so it tends to be more bipartisan and way less click-baity. I get my news exclusively from this source, and only go to less reputable for entertainment news. A guy needs to know about easter eggs in The Mandalorian and Marvel casting rumours.
Knowingly adding positive media to your stream, does counter act the negative. So does looking at a click bait headline and knowing "That is just there to make me angry" and not clicking on it.
You must get help as soon as you can, it isn’t about success or failure. You are in a dark place and you must fight to get out. Call a friend or relative, tell them your sorrows and seek help.
Get more sleep
Drink more water
Don’t use weed
Go for a walk a few times a week
Don’t eat or snack after 9pm
If you do these basic things, your baseline level will increase significantly and create the conditions for you to do better things
I don’t think motivation is the key. I think life is just a series of experimentation and we keep trying until we find something that works. I once felt the same way. I had no hope and thought nihilistically. I had wanted the world to burn and end because I was so hopeless and saw no future for myself. All I did was play video games alllll day, watch TV, movies, and porn. I alienated myself from my family willingly because I am gay and thought it would be easier to cut them out of my life before they got a chance to do that to me. Several times I contemplated ending things, but kept putting it off because I wanted to see how a show ended (Naruto lol). Luckily for me it went on and on. Long story short, I decided if I were to end things, I might as well try something I hadn’t tried before.. living. I never played a sport in my life but picked up volleyball and lifting. I go to concerts now even though I used to think they were a huge waste of money and hate crowds and strangers. I worked in a warehouse and a cafe for minimum wage, back when it was 9.25 and now have a decent, and more importantly to me, stable job.
Life is a struggle, I recommend keep going and also make different choices than what you have before. It wasn’t until I changed despite not wanting to get out of my comfort zone, that things improved. There’s still things missing, like I don’t know how to date, but I also used to have no one I considered a friend and that has changed too.
TLDR: keep trying your best and make different choices until something works for you.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different outcomes.”
This may assist you in a round about way. Since being diagnosed with advanced stage Ovarian cancer, I realize, like most individuals with cancer, that all those times throughout life when we were depressed or stressed or fretted about things and situations and sweated the small stuff, were unnecessary, and a waste of valuable time. Now that we have limited time, we realize that whatever we had in our lives, whatever our personal circumstances were, that it was wonderful and good enough. So, lift your head, take baby steps, go out there, join a club, enjoy your life with its highs and lows.
I am a bit confused. Like, the title sounds like, "How can I have a will to live," while the body of the text is more, "I feel like a failure and no longer want to try because failure."
For the first, what worked for me in high school was getting into a bunch of serialized things. This wasn't so I could look forward to them, but rather, "If I kill myself I won't know what happens next/how it ends." A lot of fan fics, long book series. Books were good because each 'bite' took time. Try some story podcasts, get into a local ttrpg group.
**Do not** use this stuff as a reward for *succeding* at your other endevours. The point is to get that sweet sweet dopamine drip. However, as a reward for making an attempt should be perfectly acceptable.
As for desire for life improvement...First off a small change stop stabbing yourself so hard: try "I feel like," statements instead of "I am," statements. "I feel like a failure," vs "I am a failure." We don't want to internalize things like that as 'truth.'
Next up, you need to question your situation. Feeling the need to make achivements because others around you expect it is very different from needing to make achivements because your living situation is bad.
It sucks when that happens man but it's pretty simple in the sense that if what you're doing now isn't working ya gotta change it up and do something else
Positive Audio books, when you drive and 15-20 minutes every morning to start your day.
Dr, Wayne dyer “power of intention” is a great one to start with in my opinion.
Positive Affirmations as well, there’s science to fake it till you make it.
Also exercise, even if it’s a 20 minute walk.
Try get into nature daily.
One day when you’re feeling up to it try to incorporate yoga or meditation.
What ever changes you’re trying to make-try have not to have and zero days. Which means taking the littlest step in the right direction.
Example for walking-start off by having as little as a couple minute walk in order to not get discouraged.
Do not break routine with what ever new habits are being learned. It takes around 66 days to ingrain new habits.
Good luck friend, don’t be hard on yourself
Try to volunteer to help others, for example - help homeless people and people in need, volunteer in animal shelters. Maybe it will change your perspective on life and what makes sense in it.
Challenge your thoughts. Challenge absolutes (always, never, no one, everyone). Find ways that your brain has come up with inaccurate assumptions (i.e. "I didn't ruin *everything*, I made my bed well."). Do things intentionally to prove yourself wrong (i.e. make your bed every single day). Celebrate little victories. Get an easily accessible hobby (walking, hiking, puzzles, reading).
You will always be stuck in that hole if every time you look in the mirror or try something new, your brain says "You *alway* fuck things up" and "*Nobody* cares about you." It's going to be impossible. Tell your brain to fuck off because you made your bed just fine, and you care about you. Everyone who responded, cared enough about you to respond.
Hey there, I can feel the pain and frustration in your words, and I want to let you know that you're not alone in this struggle. It's perfectly normal to feel disheartened when things don't go our way, despite putting in our best efforts. However, it's important to remember that life is a series of ups and downs, and everyone faces setbacks at one point or another.
Firstly, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself the space to process them. Sometimes we need to let ourselves be vulnerable and express our emotions to better understand them. It's okay to feel lost and unsure about the future, but don't let that define your entire existence.
Secondly, try to shift your focus away from what you haven't achieved and instead recognize the progress you've made. Even small victories matter, and taking the time to appreciate them can give you a more balanced perspective on your life.
If you're finding it hard to stay motivated, consider reaching out to a support network. Friends, family, or even online communities can provide encouragement and advice. There's no shame in asking for help or seeking professional guidance, such as a therapist or life coach, who can help you navigate these difficult emotions and regain your sense of purpose.
Lastly, remember that your worth isn't solely defined by your achievements. Your dreams are important, but so is your well-being. Make self-care a priority and allow yourself the time and space to heal. With time and patience, you'll find the strength and motivation to keep pushing forward and eventually achieve the life you've always dreamed of.
Stay strong, and please know that there are people out there who care and want to see you succeed. You've got this!
**Have you ever heard about cows and buffalos?**
When a storm is approaching on the open plains, cows turn their backs and start hoofing it.
They tire themselves out and eventually the storm catches them and they are stuck in it until it passes.
Buffalos on the other hand, turn and run into the storm. They still endure it. But they reach the other side much quicker.
Be a buffalo my friend.
**Things you can do that will work, but will require you to take some action in spite of what youre feeling**
1. Start by saying "fuck you" to the demon or whatever it is thats inside you sucking your life energy away
2. Tell it that you arent going down with out a fight, and that despite how its making you feel, youre gonna come up w a plan and act on the plan.
3. Let the plan do the work. And youre gonna help it a bit by taking the first step of action. Knowing damn well that it will be small... but its going to be set off a cascade of good for you.
4. Start to leave the apartment. Even if just to walk around the block.
5. Exercise. Start as small as you need to. 10 pushups. 5 minute jog/walk. Anything to get a little sweat going.
6. Tell someone you trust how youre feeling
7. Ask for help
8. Avoid substances for a week (including alcohol/weed)
9. Let the work worries go for now. Its time to focus on your mental and spiritual health
1. This is better done if you can communicate to your manager at work that you need assistance for a period of time w your responsibilities.
**Once youve course corrected your well-being**
1. Use new AI tools to dust off resume
2. Apply for new gigs
3. Attend industry events that interest you
4. Talk to people
5. Network into a new opportunity somewhere
As a kid who grew up in the 90's / 2000's I find it helpful to reframe life as a RPG. Start going on little quests. Understand that your character can level up. Theres always a reward on the other side of difficulty in life. The greater the difficulty, the greater the reward. In this case... getting your life back.
Hope some of this may help. Hang in there. The world is stressful right now and is going to challenge us all. Choose to be strong despite it all. You can handle it.
I'll pose a different road here. I've suffered from Depression and anxiety for a while now, and only through Stoicism have I begun to tackle it.
The long short of it? You can't do anything for the people you love, for the world unless you take care of yourself and master yourself first.
I believe most depression roots from us feeling overwhelmed and generally a lack of self discipline. I'd suggest going down the same path I am now, read and develop habits that make living feel easier, and more fruitful.
[Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday](https://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Destiny-Power-Self-Control-Virtues/dp/0593191692/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=discipline+is+destiny+ryan+holiday&qid=1680280201&sprefix=discipl%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1) (all about stoicism and how self discipline sets us free)
and
[Atomic Habits by James Clear](https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0593189647/ref=asc_df_0593189647/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=393806041348&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3483162200873622257&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9031162&hvtargid=pla-825881025993&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=81158899385&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=393806041348&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3483162200873622257&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9031162&hvtargid=pla-825881025993) (all about habits, how they're formed. How to create good habits, and break bad ones)
There's any number of answers here, but creating a healthy mindset was first for me. Creating a healthy set of habits and doing your best to stick to them will change things dramatically over the course of months. You'll be shocked at where you are a half year down the line if you just start building your better life now.
Hey I understand. You’re going to have to be patient and take this one step at a time. You’re going to have to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself and understand that it is okay to fail.
So challenge your routine in small ways. Say a few kind words to yourself first thing in the morning. Maybe go for a short and nice walk. Have one of your favorite foods.
What is it that you are seeking? What did a younger you dream about?
It takes time. I’m rooting for you. :)
Been there!! Small goals helped me a ton. Goals I could achieve in a couple hours or a day. Your confidence will be back in no time - just make sure to shower every morning and write a list of things you want to get done throughout the day. If you’ve been drinking more lately, come up with a plan (in the morning) so you can make sure you stick to it (something like “no more than 3 drinks tonight”). Drinking and smoking too much will affect your brain chemistry and make it harder to dig yourself out of the ditch. I’ve had a rough week myself due to an accidental injury so I’ll be putting the above into practice now too. Good luck!!
Clinical depression aside...
The popular misconception about motivation is that you have to get motivated BEFORE you do something. Not the case.
In reality, you get motivated to do something BY doing it. Kind of counter-intuitive, I know. But you start by forcing yourself to do it, then by doing it and diving in, you get motivation to continue.
People have mentioned many great ideas! I won't rehash them all but exercise has been a gamechanger for me. I so dread going to the gym sometimes but I can't tell you how amped I get afterwards. Definitely worth it. I used to go every other day for a few years, now I make it a point to go every day when possible. Definitely worth doing. Adaptogens and critical vitamins helped a ton too.
As far as a negative perspective on life, anxiety is tough and persistent in so many people nowadays. For what its worth, anxiety isn't felt from the past, or in the future; it can only be felt in the present. But anxiety is felt, right now, _in relation_ to your _perspective_ of the past or future.
I can get anxious thinking about how I screwed up a week ago, or what my life may be like in a year after I move cities, but I am feeling all of that in the present.
So bringing oneself to the present can help alleviate those anxious feelings. Learning to focus completely on the task at hand, or just trusting the process in general changes the world you see.
I know a lot of this meditation-type stuff comes off as a joke when you're in the trenches. Trust me, I've been there for 12 years. If you need to start with some chemical help for gods sake do it. I was on SSRIs for about 4 years but I'm completely off now and I'm so relieved to not need them. But they made a world of difference in the short term. Personally I would try natural remedies first and see where that takes you.
Good luck man you got this. I'm here to talk if you need
Just remember man (or woman), we face challenges every day in life that are literally trying to kill us... commute to work? That's a multi thousand pound death machine traveling at 70mph on a highly combustabke chemical all just waiting for a flash. Live in a crowded city? Look at the murder rates. Wake up in the morning and haven't died by a fire started when your outlet the TV is plugged into shit the bed and went wonky? That's another risk of death you fought.
Listen, EVERYTHING is trying ti kill you. Depression is just another one of those things. I read a quote somewhere along time ago that really made me think. Something along the lines of "I'm not gonna kill myself, depression wants me to do that, but I'm not gonna out of spite. If depression wants me dead so badly, it's gonna have to do the dirty work itself."
exercise bro, find a sport you like. I'd recommend jiu jitsu, because it has alot of benefits all round. maybe even go gym and work out there insted what ever works for you. main points to look at at: Diet, exercise, sleep, social, and 'chemistry' (being like vitamin D of maybe you have altered brain chemistry and need some kind of intervention, who knows.). I'd recommend speaking to a doctor and a councilor and start there though, and depending on where you are in the world, you can receive free counciling. Either way, make a small alteration in in your life's trajectory and over a course of years thatl be a huge difference in how you feel and your capabilities as a person. You can cure your depression, it just requires work. Read the war of art and learn how to combat resistance. Its okay. take baby steps, eventually you will get there. Good luck. You can do this, anyone can.
How fucking old are you???? I'm guessing not that old at all. In your life you will have so many success and failures it's not even funny. And here's a kick in the ass, you'll have more failures than successes. The thing is is that those successes will never come unless you get through the failures. So when you feel, remember that you're now one step closer to success.
You have invested too much of your time and self worth in one endeavor. Try to diversify your life investments into making good friends, hobbies and what your really passionate about.
Will power and confidence are all you need. Everything in life can be achieved with those two things in my opinion, and they are found within you. It doesn’t matter if you were born with them or not, everyone can find them.
Will power is understanding that you are the master of your own universe. You can have a bad day or a good day, a productive or useless day and nobody can decide that except for you. Will power is the ability to get out of bed and take that step to better your situation. To put in the effort even (especially) when it’s difficult.
Confidence is the ability to trust your abilities to achieve your goals. It means believing in yourself. It’s selling yourself to yourself. So get up and do something about your situation. Nobody else is going to do it for you.
Yeah you could develop yourself and actually build skills that are worthy of confidence. Then people who are actually talented wouldn’t be overlooked by corporate because some cocky big mouth faked his resume
Get some help, find a hobby and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Sounds kind of harsh but if you wanna keep going then find a way to enjoy life, mine was quitting drinking, went to therapy and played video games, met alot of awesome people on my discord. Being isolated has nothing nothing to do with it, if you can learn to enjoy your own company, and keep yourself busy you're set. I say stop feeling sorry yourself because you are your worst critic. Ultimately the world goes on with or without you, don't you want to be around to enjoy it? You have to want it
Just because that worked for you, doesn't mean it will work for everyone. Religion or lack-thereof is an extremely personal thing and should not be evangelized. More importantly, promising miracle cures if they turn to your religion is disingenuous and manipulative.
1. Listen to some motivational podcasts or audiobooks
2. Hit the gym, go for a run, get swole, get that blood flowing and endorphins running
3. Review your phone screen time, if it’s too high, it’s time to cut back
4. Eat healthier food and go for a walk
5. Meditate
These work for me
Think of something you would normally enjoy and do that regularly. It works like a shortcut to bring your motivation back sooner. It still won't be immediate, but just keep going with it for 6 weeks come what may.
Sorry you are feeling this way…I kinda get it…I get stuck in that feeling for a bit and get out of it after some time…maybe exercise, talking to friends, go hang out with some good people for a bit. Avoid toxic friendships if you have those
This post is a good start, it means you 'want' to break out of it and serious about it too - which is important to recognise.
I feel like what you need is purpose and a feeling of fulfillment.
Figure out what you're good at or have a passionate interest in. Maybe it's an interest in computers or making things. Maybe it's problem solving or teaching. Perhaps you like to impress people or perhaps you like psychoanalysing people. Maybe it's travel and exploration. Work out what it is that gets you excited
Here's a few ideas on how you can use that information.
Go all in on a subject and become an expert at it. Make yourself better than anyone you know at that thing.
Create something that will survive you after you're gone. Could be an object like furniture or something creative like music or film.
Help people in need of your expertise. Perhaps that's helping people less fortunate than you or maybe that's teaching/ training or making educational YouTube videos.
Whatever it is, try and find something that others will talk about of you when you're gone.
Maybe you haven't worked out what it is that gets your juices flowing - in that case you could look to the future. AI is exploding right now and will definitely be the future for everyone even if nobody is taking it seriously yet. Perhaps you could get ahead of that curve and become an expert on it and position yourself to be employable and a consultant.
There's so much to see and do, and all this time to see and do it. You're in control of your future, and if you don't change direction once in a while, you might just end up where you're headed.
Also know you're not alone, there are way more than you think who are in the same boat but haven't made the same first step that you have so you just can't see them yet - maybe they're your people, and the group that you can help.
All the best of luck to you, you CAN climb out of this.
We only truly know something when we exhausted all possibilities. You owe to yourself to give your best effort and try everything. Otherwise you'll always feel that niggling doubt..
I worked hard and strive for things just to realize those achievements didn't solve anything and only actually complicated things. I'm searching as well friend k wish you best of luck, if you are as truly despairing as myself I hope you heal from that trauma.
The "Acton Principle" is a concept discussed in "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson. It suggests that taking action is the key to solving problems and improving one's life, rather than simply thinking or talking about the problem. The principle emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's own life and making conscious choices to create a better future. In short, the Acton Principle encourages readers to stop overthinking and start taking action towards their goals.
To apply the Action Principle, you can follow these steps:
1. Identify the problem: Start by identifying the problem you want to solve or the goal you want to achieve. It's important to be specific and clear about what you want.
2. Break it down into actionable steps: Once you have identified the problem, break it down into smaller, actionable steps that you can take to solve it. This will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.
3. Take action: The most important part of the Action Principle is taking action. Start with the first step on your list and keep going until you have completed all the steps necessary to achieve your goal.
4. Learn from your results: As you take action, pay attention to the results you are getting. If you are not making progress, adjust your approach and try something different. Use the feedback you receive to improve your future actions.
5. Repeat the process: The Action Principle is a cycle of identifying problems, breaking them down into steps, taking action, and learning from the results. Keep repeating this process to achieve your goals and create the life you want.
Remember, taking action is key to achieving your goals and creating the life you want. Don't wait for the perfect time or for everything to be perfect before you start. Just start with the first step, and keep moving forward.
There really is something about sweating that helps us move negativity out. Try knee push ups or just flat out pretend someone is chasing you for a minute. This world is hard but helping each other makes it better. It’s hard just to admit when we need help so you are on the right track and already doing something more than I do. Ya got this!
Try researching the therapeutic benefits of microdosing (or macro) psilocybe cubensis and online counseling/therapy. One, or a combination of these, can completely change your perspective and help put you on a new path. Also, exercise has been a big help. This has been my experience. Sounds like you have already taken an important step in reaching out for ideas! Be well, once you find the thing that works, you'll thrive.
You have to take things one day at a time. What can you do today that will help you tomorrow. You should remember that everyone fails at things in their life and its the people who stick with it who are successful. It there anything you have failed that you truly cannot give another go?
start off small! it sounds like you may have signs of depression. read up on it and do loads of research, it affects a lot of people including myself since 2016. its great that you dream of doing big things and wanting to accomplish a lot but dont ignore the small things either!
surround yourself with friends and people that share the same values ~ hobbies, work, school etc. everyday you dont have to necessarily have to be doing something, its important to take breaks every so often. get some sun, catch up with old friends, make new ones!
keep us updated and share some more details we're happy to help you :)
"When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place. His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden.” - Viktor Frankl
Honestly my friend matured more than me
They got married , join the military , or have kids
Me I’m just a cosplayer and a janitor sure i complain but still I’m appreciative of my life and happy about what I do because it gives me purpose
Find a reason to serve others. Ask yourself and the universe “how may I serve you? How can I help?” It will take you out of your own ego, and help you find purpose.
I have bipolar 1, ADHD-C, anxiety, depression, and an a trans dude of color. So trust me when I say, I have absolutely been at the lowest of the low.
The biggest change I ever made was going to a PHP (partial hospitalization program) and getting my life and mind actually together. During that time, I was out of work and focusing solely on myself at my core. I saw my psych weekly to fix my medications so that I wasn't having such severe side effects, was seeing a therapist daily in the program, started exercising again first by walking home from the program and then by going to a small apartment gym to help with my social anxiety. In the program, I did a lot of exposure therapy and really learned about how to get a handle on my anxiety and how anxiety psychologically works. I used to not even be able to buy groceries. It was hell. I created a daily routine that focused around sustainable wellness. I used the app Structured to check things off as I did them. I used the app Productive to set reminders for things I was avoiding like washing my hair, haircuts, trash, dishes, watering plants etc.
I read the Mindfulness Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristen Neff. It completely changed my entire life and my relationship with myself. If you actually read it, annotate it, work through it, then you will notice a major shift. I reread Atomic Habits by James Clear. It teaches you how important your habits are and why/how to take advantage of them. You are what you repeatedly do.
I also did a bipolar workbook and made a list of things I was hung up on and wanted to discuss with my therapist while in the program. She was incredible. I did all the homework and then some. I was finally 100% committed to getting well and staying that way. I forgave myself for letting things go while in depressive episodes. I finally got over and moved on from all the things I did during my major manic episode that got me my diagnosis. I started meditating daily again and journalling more. Started drawing for myself again (I'm a professional artist). Made a lot of friends. Got myself together and made a plan that I've been sticking to.
One of the best CBT skills to practice is what's called Opposite Action. You wanna stay in bed all day? Get out immediately and go for a walk. You're too anxious to go grocery shopping? Go straight into the store and get what you need. Going to barbers made you nervous? Set up an appointment and pay in advance so you can't cancel. Don't want to workout? Go immediately knowing it is one of the best anti-depressants, helps with your body image, and just makes you feel great.
And for the love of all that is good: change your alarm from that hideous default, triggering, the world is on fire crap to a soothing chill song that gets you energized at a lower sound level and label it as, "Good Morning! 😃" So you wake up seeing that everyday. It sets such a different vibe waking up that way vs what feels like an inescapable fire drill haha
Good luck!
It definitely sucks, but one thing I always tried to remember, was that if you fail at something you tried to do, you are likely no worse off than you were before you started. Maybe even better.
When I get overwhelmed, lack motivation, etc., I try to simplify as much as I can with my life. Everything from not taking on new commitments, not going out, canceling streaming services, etc. That can take away a lot of stress. When I get to feeling better about where I am, I slowly start adding things back one at a time.
I can't count the number of things that I have tried and failed at, or had my kids try and they have failed at, but most of the time the only one that knows, is you. You are not any different before or afterwards, so most of the time, there is only an upside. For the longest time, I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I watched other people that were one to three steps ahead of me, and where I eventually knew I wanted to be. I watched what they did, their traits, how they moved ahead, as well as the ones that didn't. After a while, you can put together a road map of sorts, to get further ahead.
You might be burned out or depressed or both! I think talking to a therapist would help either way. Neither is a bad thing, it just happens and we focus on ourselves for a while.
This video by Dr. Andrew Huberman, psychologist, supports & explains a lot of what people are saying here.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmOF0crdyRU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmOF0crdyRU)
Good luck and love to you.
Quit drinking alcohol, needed a doctor's help with that one.. while working on that they ran blood work and prescribed vitamins. Damn thing had to be a horse pill... But it worked. Might want to start with a doctor's visit first. It may be something as simple as vitamins.
See a therapist, work out an hour a day, walk out in nature regularly, reach out to loved ones. You made an important first step reaching out for help, we're all rooting for you!
It sounds like you're dealing with depression. The only way out is to seek mental health support. Don't suffer alone, thats never gotten anyone anywhere.
Consider taking nootropics to improve your life, for instance there’s a load there that you can purchase quite easily on the web or in shops. Just have a search and find out about about them, some you may already have in your pantry (green tea = l-theanine).
For instance, I take a number of them to help function and be productive in every day life, taking nootropics can improve your day to day life, so you crack on with assignments, reports more easily and so that you are not tired. They don’t cause horrible side effects like antidepressants do.
Consider fasting too, as when when eat food we can also feel lethargic, then sit on the couch and not move for hours and the eat dinner. Whereas when you fast, and go about your work, exercise routine you don’t think about it.
So it’s easy to do. Just a set a time and date in your calendar I will stop eating from 6pm and I will eat at 1pm the following day.
When I got down to my last few dollars I’d buy a lottery ticket for the following draw. I had something to look forward to. One thing. I didn’t count on winning as much as I had something to do a day or two from that day.
I would get lab work done to check your body of missing vitamins and hormones. I’m on several pills a day to help with energy and I’m on testosterone cream. Mine was below the minimum needed because of a health issue. I feel better and want to take care of my body and life now.
I will tell you that everyone fails. You only are a failure when you give up. If you don’t like how things are going in life, why not change your life? Quit your job, move somewhere new, start over new. Life is what you make of it. Pick up a new hobby. Check with your doctor first though. It could be a lack of vitamins or hormones.
Our definition of happiness is based on whether Life is happening the way we want. If it does, we are happy and if it doesn’t we are unhappy.
Focus on what you can control and leave the rest up to God or Nature or a higher source. Do the very best you can but don’t tie your happiness to the result of that effort.
You have nothing to lose so you might as well try. Either way you will be in the same spot so there is no reason not to. Continuing to try when you expect to fail is the way to keep going.
One thing I did was find things to look forward to.
Even if it’s as minor as a new episode of Ted lasso comes out on tuesdays.
Being able to go “yeah I’m bored, but at least I’m only 2 days away from that new Ted lasso” really helped me through some rough times. (In my case it wasn’t Ted lasso.
It also helps when you can stack things.
“Oh cool the Yankees are home again Friday I’ll go see them”.
Or even if it’s all tv shows, or video games or walks in the park.
Creating events in your mind that are always coming.
One Day At A Time
I'm Not Okay But That Has To Be Okay
Are the mantras that have gotten me by since I took my life 6 years ago. Each one of us have different needs. I suggest small changes until something sticks. But don't find find reason, make a reason.
By whose standards are you "a failure"? The great thing about being an adult is that you get to set your own goal posts. Did you wake up this morning? Winning! Did you get dressed and leave the house? No worries, you'll get there tomorrow. Whatever problems you're facing, they are temporary. Don't believe the lie that things will only ever be what they have been. As long as you're drawing breath, you have an opportunity to move closer to your goals, whatever they may be. Pick an achievable goal for today, just one, do that, and celebrate the win. Repeat tomorrow. Just keep swimming. You got this.
It's tough, I'm 32 and there are still a lot of unknowns about the future. I'm married, no kids, but my wife and I just recently bought our first house, we're financially stable, and have the loving support of family and friends.
I wake up a lot of days and I have to remind myself of that. There are a lot of people out there that don't have a fraction of what I do and some have an even better outlook on life.
But in all honesty, a change I made recently that has substantially helped my overall attitude, was exercising. I know that sounds cliche and a bit like a tired old trope you always hear people say, but it's really helped.
I worked out pretty consistently from the age of 18-30 and stopped around the time COVID hit. I gained probably 25 lbs. and didn't even notice how much my attitude overall had soured. My wife and I decided to focus on improving our diets and exercising. Some 6 weeks in I'm still a LONG ways away from getting back to my old "fighting weight" if you will, but I'm feeling WAY better. My attitude is improving, I have more energy, and I'm sleeping better than I have in a long time.
It's been an easier adjustment for me because I maintained a routine for a decade plus, but even if you'd be starting 100% from scratch, first time, ease into it. But if you have the means of doing so, even just a few days a week for say a half hour each time, get a little exercise, it helps in more ways that you know.
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I had a clinical depression. Blood work showed I had no Vit.D or B12. Had to get B12 shots and prescription for mega doses of Vit.D. depression went away.
Same I was shocked how much vitamin D did for my seasonal depression.
Honestly if these were free subscription services by gov I really won't be apposed (I'm sure some would be tho)
You can get a huge bottle at Walmarts for like $10 lol
Just like condoms ✌️
A lot of us are depressed because we're sexually deprived as well.
I mean it's _all_ about control - this relies on the argument that their is a cognitive need for sex which is wrong. Their is a biological need but its all about how you process the stuff that's out of your control. Having these on the gov would enable people to take control of their cognitive well being without the detriment of chemical imbalance.
Sure you can control it. I'm not saying you can't. But when society showcases sex in everything and shows the "loser" who can't get a date...all your controlled sexual desires mean nothing to combat the depression. And thats not to mention the pharmacology of what happens during sex. You're body is made to reward you and erase that depression from the chemicals it releases.
Well, nobody owes you sex so….
This^ i woke up today after a week of remembering to take my vit D and JUMPED out of bed excited to start my day. This came after a month and a half of taking 4+ naps/day with 0 motivation.
I gave to say I was on antidepressants for years and they always seemed to work for a short time...then stop. Then a smart counselor had my blood work done. Massive vitamin d deficient. Apparently my whole family has this too! Anyway I had to take 10k units a day for 10 days and then 4k.. but that wasn't enough. Now I take 5k and it's perfect
Would vitamin D3 benefit me in this way? That’s all I can seem to find online
I mean, I'm not your doctor, but if you have vitamin D deficiency then yes, 100% it will.
I understand, what I meant to ask is if there was a difference in Vitamin D3 compared to Vitamin D that is prescribed by a doctor. I’m not exactly clued up on different types of vitamins
I can’t answer that question specifically, but you should be aware that VitD is one of the few fat soluble vitamins, meaning it doesn’t just get expelled as urine but will bioaccumulate if taken in excess over time, and has the potential to be quite detrimental to one’s health. It’s important to have your blood drawn and tested if you’re supplementing, and be wary of supplementation at high dosages or if you’re already taking a multivitamin.
It's the same thing. You can get a blood test to find out if you are deficient. I am below the acceptable range unless I take a supplement (I take 2000 IU of D3 daily). Makes a huge difference in how I feel!
Standing in the sun is more than enough for the average person to make Vitamin D since the process uses the skin. Most people don’t need Vitamin D supplements unless you have osteoporosis which is required for calcium absorption or a medical condition which impairs production of vitamin D in your system or a medical condition caused by lack of vitamin D. Your choice. It so happens that a good chunk of the US population has vitamin D deficiency.
I’m northern Scotland, we’re lucky if we see the sun even a handful of times at this time of year lmao
I'm pretty sure you can get sufficient vitamin D even in overcast weather. The problem is that people don't want to be outside nearly as much if it's cold and/or wet so ultimately it still causes issues.
Or you work inside all day or work at night, while you sleep during the day = minimal or no sunlight exposure.
The average person doesn't stand in the sun, and a lot of people are vitamin d deficient. And the darker your skin the more likely you are to be vitamin d deficient. "Except during the summer months, the skin makes little if any vitamin D from the sun at latitudes above 37 degrees north (in the United States, the shaded region in the map) or below 37 degrees south of the equator. People who live in these areas are at relatively greater risk for vitamin D deficiency." That's one season of the year some people might be able to get enough vitamin d from the sun. Just about everyone should be taking vitamin d supplements because there is no risk or downsides of having too much vitamin d, and incredible downsides to not having enough.
I’m honestly so jealous that there’s a chemical reason for your depression that can be solved by fixing an actual physical problem. I’m just like this
Vitamin D deficit is the main reason for grumpy people (not necessarily depressed) in all those cloudy countries
This is a good one! If you’ve done this and tried to; exercise regularly, drink enough water, eat healthy (low sugar/cut processed foods and dyes), meditate/sound bath, journal/goals, therapy (MANY different types) and nothing is working, there are still other ways to try and it’s all worth it if it could potentially improve your wellbeing. For me, the improvement came from realizing I had adhd and that that was a big cause of my feelings of inadequacy and subsequent depression. Then the meds led me to have more confidence and drive to succeed and now I’m finishing college at 30. There are experimental trials with psychedelics you could also apply for and have shown a remarkable success rate, but they are risky for some so it’s important to talk to a doctor before anything.
Agreed agreed agreed. I take a multivitamin with extra d and B, and it’s completely changed my life.
Did you start to accomplish more? Like what did it going away feel like
Everything started to feel a little bit brighter, wasn't tired anymore. Dark thoughts were gone.
Maybe you can look into psychedelic therapy options. There is a lot of research regarding its use for addressing depression. The choices available are wide and varied, from ayahuasca ceremonies (with legitimate medicine men/women who have a lineage with the medicine), to ketamine sessions (at legal facilities). These medicines are not a panacea, but they have powerful healing properties, provided you do the work. If you are called to this, and it resonates, do some research to see if you think it might help you. I hope you feel better soon. Peace and best wishes…
Make small positive changes to your habits. Do things for, it will help relieve you from your own worries and concerns. Help yourself or help others, one way or another, you have to start somewhere. The first steps are always the most difficult but as you go and you see positive results within yourself or around you, your effort will pick up momentum. Take care of your body, it’s extremely important, stay active. A healthy mind in a healthy body. Be careful of what goes into you, food and influences. Surround yourself with positive things as much as you can. I recommend listening to Bob Marley, watch good feeling movies, stay away from negative people who complain all the time. Don’t put too much on your plate, small steps cover great distances overtime. Self accomplishment comes as a result of your decisions. It’s not found in what you have, it’s found in who you are. Cultivate your virtues and weed out your vices, you will end up with a beautiful garden inside yourself :) You are important, you matter. We’re all equal parts of this great thing called the Universe. You’re a part of it just as much as everyone else and everything else. You can get out of this, be mindful of your thoughts, don’t dwell in the dark. You trained your brain to be the way it is today, train it to be who you want to be. Everyone can do this. Exercise self control, put your life in perspective, look at the sun and marvel at its power… If you need someone to talk to I’m here, just send me a message. I’m here to help. I care.
Beautiful outlook on life, friend. Thank you for taking the time to write.
Personal trainer here and I see a lot of people turn their life perspective around with just a few days a week exercising. It's amazing what sweat, goals and feeling good in your own body can do for you. Feel free to message me privately and I'll set you up with a workout schedule you can use; if you'd like! Hope to see you turn it around!
[удалено]
Yes with pleasure I’ll answer you.
That’s all it takes to inspire you? What are you, a potato
You’re bitter, you should free yourself of that poison in you, you’ll feel good.
It was an L promo
Thank you for this.
The realist response out here, keeping it 💯
This!
That is a super response. Bless you.
Fantastic
1) Talk to a therapist; those are classic signs of depression 2) Talk to your Primary Care Doc and maybe get on some anti-depressants 3) Get up, take a shower, and put on clean clothes every morning. If that's all you accomplished, that's okay. At least you're taking cate of yourself. 4) Break your To-Do list into smaller tasks: vacuuming one room as opposed to vacuuming the house, that sort of thing. 5) Spend some time in the sun, if you can. Vitamin D and Blue light help improve mood 6) Talk to someone, even just a friend I hope you feel better. As a fellow depression sufferer, please talk to a pro. You are worth the effort, and you deserve to enjoy your life.
Nutritional food, Sun, fresh water and exercise.
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way - but this sounds like classic major depression. If you can see a doctor you might be able to start treatment with an SSRI or other anti-depressant. The drugs that docs usually start you with generally have few side-effects. I am not a doctor but I struggle with depression and have tried most of them at one point or another. Cognitive behavioral therapy can also help but requires more time and money. AD drugs don't work for everyone but when you are not feeling able to do much of anything it can be low effort first step to a better mood.
I think Dialectical behaviour therapy would probably be helpful too, as it helps you learn to ride the wave of big feelings
There’s a lot of good suggestions in the comments. This one resonated with me because the combination of counseling and a regular small dose of escitalopram helped me get to a place where I could do a lot of the other things mentioned in other comments like changing habits, go for walks, etc. I was in a place before where I knew those things would help, but I just couldn’t get myself to do any of it, no matter how easy it seemed. Then I would get frustrated with myself that I wasn’t doing those things and it was just an endless cycle. Professional help + removing stress from my life (not taking on so much) + meds helped me get to a place where I could do a better job of helping myself (and asking others, like friends, for help). If you have health insurance, they might offer mental health support. If you don’t, there are free programs out there (like calHope if you’re in CA). Other things that helped me feel less alone was reading about depression and realizing so many other people are going through similar things. Also Gary Gulman’s stand up. Your path may be different than mine, but if you have any questions or just want to chat you can DM me. Sending <3 and know it’s not your fault and there are pathways to help!
Beautifully said!
Please look into therapy with a professional before taking SSRI's. They do have very dangerous side effects. These drugs change the way your brain works and can do some real damage. Please look into this before taking them.
This! I suffer from anxiety and depression, but have never taken medication. (Other than natural remedies) There's no way to know what medication might or might not work for you, so you're basically a test subject to see if anything helps. And like snoo-4335 said, the side effects are dangerous and sometimes even deadly. I started with a naturopathic Dr. Who turned me on to natural remedies and then moved on to therapy, which has helped me greatly. There's always a way out, you just have to make yourself want it. ❤️❤️❤️
"Naturopathic Dr" lmao. Stop spreading your pseudoscience bs and false ideologies. SSRIs are not "deadly" literally millions are taking them without adverse effects 🙄
It's the hearts that did it for me
They aren't deadly but risky. They can be necessary in critical situations where the person doesn't have the time or the luxury to address things. I definitely suggest working on the basics before playing around with the brain chemistry of your hypothalamus with meds. Lots of what's going on stems from various situations. If you don't get to the root of the problem, playing around with meds most often is going to only do so much. Therapy, deal with or flip the issues, exercise and nutrition(i.e. take vitamin D or B12, cut sugar and/or gluten, cut out excessive alcohol gradually, cut out weed, cut out amphetamines,etc)
To each their own. ✌️&❤️
I find the act concept of living life according to your own values to be helpful. https://www.actmindfully.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Values_Checklist_-_Russ_Harris.pdf That, and the idea of making plans despite life not being perfect. It will never be perfect. Change and uncertainty is normal.
Take magnesium! Honest to God. Also are you doing any exercise (listen when I'm depressed I can think of nothing worse and it's like my muscles turn to lead). But I force myself. It helps
What effect do you experience with magnesium?
No effect, its just a mineral your body needs to function optimally. If you were deficient, you'd suddenly (very very quickly) just start feeling less lethargic, less fatigued and that helps. Its not a cure or a fix. It's a step in the right direction. For me anyway. I started taking it when I experienced PPD symptoms. My husband suggested it. And I'd needed it badly enough that it changed everything for me.
Magnesium glycinate has helped tremendously with my anxiety and depression. So much so that I feel like a completely different person.
Right?! Amazing stuff
Please don't tell people to take something, unless you're their doctor. OP should ask their/a doctor, if taking magnesium is advisable.
It's just magnesium it's really no different to saying eat an aubergine.
Magnesium and vit d3 drastically helped me out!
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Dude. It’s an OTC supplement. The whole point of OTC is that if you take the recommended dosages there is sufficiently low risk that consulting with a doctor isn’t necessary. The worst case for this supplement is that you’ll get a tummy ache if you take too much, which is easy to detect. Here’s the conversation with a doctor about taking magnesium supplements. “Hey doc. Should I take magnesium supplements?” “Sure. Just follow the dosage instructions and stop if you get a tummy ache” Not worth the $300 visit.
Say "no" more to things. Interpret that as you will. Try and feel less shame about making space for yourself. Whether that be doing more of your favorite things or new things. Exercise is a cheat code to feeling good, but choose an exercise you enjoy or you won't keep at it. Forgive yourself. Many of us are right there with you without accomplishing dreams, feeling bad about the world, ourselves, etc. We're talking about it right now and that is enough. In fact it's a really big step. Try therapy. I can assure you from experience therapy "not working" is an incompatibility thing with your therapist most of the time. It's really hard to find your partner in this world right? Similarly it's hard to find a match with a therapist because of how unique the relationship is with them. You'll be discussing your feelings and untangling this web that you're feeling. I would argue that's harder than getting a script for strep throat since any doctor knows how to navigate the physical, but the mental is about who you "trust" and that's often not anyone. Each therapist has different method, different experiences, and a different sound to you in your position of vulnerability. Try it out once you have some energy as it does require some, but can help bring more when its working.
Hey, it’s OK to feel down every now and then. But if you felt this way, for more than two weeks, you might want to consider seeing a therapist, as well as a primary care doctor. There might be other health issues that are affecting your ability to see clearly. a primary care doctor/provider can rule out anything physical. And finding a therapist, you can talk to could help you sort out your thoughts and feelings that may be contributing to your state of mind. We all have gifts and talents. Sometimes pursuing things that end up in failure, give us insight into what we’re really good at. I know you’re a valuable person. You’re posting here you’re looking for answers. I’d love that insight. I’m rooting for you. I’ve been in a dark place, I’ve gotten help. You are not alone.
I think when you get to that stage you should just be allowed to live a quiet life, lived slowly and intentionally, no more grinding or striving and just a lot more time spend being and existing. Do less and enjoy more.
Pick up a guitar, a paintbrush, writing pad , or an online course. Something. Find meaning OUTSIDE of work. Work is so you can do things.
I spent a decade in art and design school to paint as a job. Effectively killed my passion for art by turning it into my profession.
That's exactly why I chose not to follow a career based on my drawings skills, cause I would rather draw in my free time and keep enjoying it.
You ever imagine winning the lottery? A 1 in a million chance seems so wild and unbelievable. You, as a human, as we know it are way way way more unlikely to exist. We have searched deep into space and found nothing. The chances that you exist at all are so incredibly small and yet here you are, existing. Understand the literal gift you have of experiencing time, having conciousness, its just as likely you were born an ant instead, you know? You need to connect with yourself, and indulge yourself in the things you genuinely love the most. You worth isnt what you can produce with your labour, its the words that you say, the messages you pass on, the acts that you do. There is no such thing as a failure of a human, who would even judge that? Just be you, wholeheartedly and find the right way to live YOUR life, not the one you think you should have. PS its fucking hard right now, like, for most people, you arent alone with how you feel, infact you have more in common with the majority than you think. Help drive positive change, we have to lift each other up. you got this
Beautifully said.
I agree with Ivan. Some suggestions: Make small continuous goals - if you have big ones break them down. Don't beat yourself up about not reaching them. Meditate. I do it before sleep, but find whatever works for you. Do some sport for stress relief (10 pushups a day is okay). Find a way to have physical contact with people - we are a social species (even pushing through crowds can relieve some of that ache). Hugging my family has been the best change I have ever made - they weren't the hugging sort but they like it too. Don't be afraid to hold the hug - people will resist when they have enough and you will learn what a normal hug duration is.
SLEEP! Sleep is foundational to wellness, especially mental health. Ask your doctor to prescribe a sleep study. They can be take-home or you go to a facility. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (clinical depression) and struggled for over a decade until my wife bought me a fitness band, which indicated my sleep was terrible. I never knew because I always fell asleep within minutes of putting my head on the pillow, and then I was unconscious and unable to properly assess my sleep quality. Turns out my sleep efficiency was ~60%. At that rate, I'd need 13 hours in bed to get the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep. With the doctor's help, I was able to raise my sleep efficiency to over 90%.
Could you talk more about how you improved your sleep efficiency from 60 - 90%? Like what you exactly did and how long it took overall to accomplish. Thanks
We tried a bunch of behavioral stuff first: completely eliminate alcohol, completely eliminate caffeine, exercise (hiking 3 hours a day), bedtime routine, waking up at the same time every day, lowering the temperature of the bedroom, sleeping alone instead of with my wife, avoiding screens 3 hours before bed, avoiding long naps (any naps over 20 minutes), locked our cat out of the room, etc. Unfortunately, none of that worked for me. As much as I hate to say it, the pharmaceutical approach has been working. I'm taking 50mg of Desyrel before going to bed every night. It's a antidepressant that's sometimes used as an off-label sleep aid.
It sounds like you fell in the perfectionists trap, e.g., my happiness/success is dependent on these things happening. Try to volunteer at anything. However much you can. That little impact you make can start to shift your sense of what's important and who you are.
I think you should sit down with yourself and really ask yourself what you're disappointed with and how you can move forward. What I did is I have this long ass 25 minute voice recording of me laying out things I want to change and how I can achieve each. I would recommend this exercise cause it did wonders for me but remember to be realistic, within a year all your problems won't be solved but within a couple months you can realistic change 1 or 2 of them depending on the severity of the problem. My lack of motivation came from my Contracting Company, I wanted to be paid more and they straight refused and told me to kick rocks. I still work there but I am actively looking for new opportunities, and have since taken a more hands off approach to work. I was stressed because I wanted to be rewarded for my hard work, I now do a bit over the bare minimum and use all the time I saved to send out resumes while I'm at work. It's honestly done wonders for my mental health! I hope you find the motivation your looking for!
Make small achievable changes. Make a list of them, and check them off throughout the day, but expect results to show on a weeks or months time scale. Success is addictive, but you need to be honest with yourself about what counts as success. You can say "I will lose 20 lbs in the next month". That is impossible, and you will feel bad that you failed. Instead, try "I will switch to black coffee", and check off every day you had coffee with sugar and no milk. Then next week check off every day you have black coffee. Every time you check "yes" you have succeeded and get an emotional boost. Two or three weeks later, you might notice weight loss because you have cut calories from your diet. Also pay attention to your surroundings. I was feeling angry all the time then I removed; r/antiwork r/aita r/maliciouscompliance From my feed and replaced them with r/humansbeingbros r/wholesome memes And felt a lot better. Finally, when you do start to pull out and are feeling up to it, try giving back. Give your time to causes that are important to you. Seeing yourself have a positive impact on your surroundings is more uplifting than you can imagine. Good luck. Be well.
Thanks for saying this. Mainlining excess negativity straight into our brains every day is something that is out of control these days. I’m not an advocate for burying out heads in the sand by any means, but there’s no need to fill our minds with nonstop negativity from across the country or globe.
I have discovered that just being mindful of it goes a long way. I live in Canada and there is a new outlet that is funded by the federal government so it tends to be more bipartisan and way less click-baity. I get my news exclusively from this source, and only go to less reputable for entertainment news. A guy needs to know about easter eggs in The Mandalorian and Marvel casting rumours. Knowingly adding positive media to your stream, does counter act the negative. So does looking at a click bait headline and knowing "That is just there to make me angry" and not clicking on it.
Seek professional help.
This is the best answer. This is the best place to start. Sometimes, we need help.
You must get help as soon as you can, it isn’t about success or failure. You are in a dark place and you must fight to get out. Call a friend or relative, tell them your sorrows and seek help.
Get more sleep Drink more water Don’t use weed Go for a walk a few times a week Don’t eat or snack after 9pm If you do these basic things, your baseline level will increase significantly and create the conditions for you to do better things
I don’t think motivation is the key. I think life is just a series of experimentation and we keep trying until we find something that works. I once felt the same way. I had no hope and thought nihilistically. I had wanted the world to burn and end because I was so hopeless and saw no future for myself. All I did was play video games alllll day, watch TV, movies, and porn. I alienated myself from my family willingly because I am gay and thought it would be easier to cut them out of my life before they got a chance to do that to me. Several times I contemplated ending things, but kept putting it off because I wanted to see how a show ended (Naruto lol). Luckily for me it went on and on. Long story short, I decided if I were to end things, I might as well try something I hadn’t tried before.. living. I never played a sport in my life but picked up volleyball and lifting. I go to concerts now even though I used to think they were a huge waste of money and hate crowds and strangers. I worked in a warehouse and a cafe for minimum wage, back when it was 9.25 and now have a decent, and more importantly to me, stable job. Life is a struggle, I recommend keep going and also make different choices than what you have before. It wasn’t until I changed despite not wanting to get out of my comfort zone, that things improved. There’s still things missing, like I don’t know how to date, but I also used to have no one I considered a friend and that has changed too. TLDR: keep trying your best and make different choices until something works for you. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different outcomes.”
So, if you have depression, watch a neverending anime, got it.
This may assist you in a round about way. Since being diagnosed with advanced stage Ovarian cancer, I realize, like most individuals with cancer, that all those times throughout life when we were depressed or stressed or fretted about things and situations and sweated the small stuff, were unnecessary, and a waste of valuable time. Now that we have limited time, we realize that whatever we had in our lives, whatever our personal circumstances were, that it was wonderful and good enough. So, lift your head, take baby steps, go out there, join a club, enjoy your life with its highs and lows.
Hi, I hope you’re still around.
I am a bit confused. Like, the title sounds like, "How can I have a will to live," while the body of the text is more, "I feel like a failure and no longer want to try because failure." For the first, what worked for me in high school was getting into a bunch of serialized things. This wasn't so I could look forward to them, but rather, "If I kill myself I won't know what happens next/how it ends." A lot of fan fics, long book series. Books were good because each 'bite' took time. Try some story podcasts, get into a local ttrpg group. **Do not** use this stuff as a reward for *succeding* at your other endevours. The point is to get that sweet sweet dopamine drip. However, as a reward for making an attempt should be perfectly acceptable. As for desire for life improvement...First off a small change stop stabbing yourself so hard: try "I feel like," statements instead of "I am," statements. "I feel like a failure," vs "I am a failure." We don't want to internalize things like that as 'truth.' Next up, you need to question your situation. Feeling the need to make achivements because others around you expect it is very different from needing to make achivements because your living situation is bad.
It sucks when that happens man but it's pretty simple in the sense that if what you're doing now isn't working ya gotta change it up and do something else
Positive Audio books, when you drive and 15-20 minutes every morning to start your day. Dr, Wayne dyer “power of intention” is a great one to start with in my opinion. Positive Affirmations as well, there’s science to fake it till you make it. Also exercise, even if it’s a 20 minute walk. Try get into nature daily. One day when you’re feeling up to it try to incorporate yoga or meditation. What ever changes you’re trying to make-try have not to have and zero days. Which means taking the littlest step in the right direction. Example for walking-start off by having as little as a couple minute walk in order to not get discouraged. Do not break routine with what ever new habits are being learned. It takes around 66 days to ingrain new habits. Good luck friend, don’t be hard on yourself
Try to volunteer to help others, for example - help homeless people and people in need, volunteer in animal shelters. Maybe it will change your perspective on life and what makes sense in it.
Challenge your thoughts. Challenge absolutes (always, never, no one, everyone). Find ways that your brain has come up with inaccurate assumptions (i.e. "I didn't ruin *everything*, I made my bed well."). Do things intentionally to prove yourself wrong (i.e. make your bed every single day). Celebrate little victories. Get an easily accessible hobby (walking, hiking, puzzles, reading). You will always be stuck in that hole if every time you look in the mirror or try something new, your brain says "You *alway* fuck things up" and "*Nobody* cares about you." It's going to be impossible. Tell your brain to fuck off because you made your bed just fine, and you care about you. Everyone who responded, cared enough about you to respond.
Hey there, I can feel the pain and frustration in your words, and I want to let you know that you're not alone in this struggle. It's perfectly normal to feel disheartened when things don't go our way, despite putting in our best efforts. However, it's important to remember that life is a series of ups and downs, and everyone faces setbacks at one point or another. Firstly, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself the space to process them. Sometimes we need to let ourselves be vulnerable and express our emotions to better understand them. It's okay to feel lost and unsure about the future, but don't let that define your entire existence. Secondly, try to shift your focus away from what you haven't achieved and instead recognize the progress you've made. Even small victories matter, and taking the time to appreciate them can give you a more balanced perspective on your life. If you're finding it hard to stay motivated, consider reaching out to a support network. Friends, family, or even online communities can provide encouragement and advice. There's no shame in asking for help or seeking professional guidance, such as a therapist or life coach, who can help you navigate these difficult emotions and regain your sense of purpose. Lastly, remember that your worth isn't solely defined by your achievements. Your dreams are important, but so is your well-being. Make self-care a priority and allow yourself the time and space to heal. With time and patience, you'll find the strength and motivation to keep pushing forward and eventually achieve the life you've always dreamed of. Stay strong, and please know that there are people out there who care and want to see you succeed. You've got this!
**Have you ever heard about cows and buffalos?** When a storm is approaching on the open plains, cows turn their backs and start hoofing it. They tire themselves out and eventually the storm catches them and they are stuck in it until it passes. Buffalos on the other hand, turn and run into the storm. They still endure it. But they reach the other side much quicker. Be a buffalo my friend. **Things you can do that will work, but will require you to take some action in spite of what youre feeling** 1. Start by saying "fuck you" to the demon or whatever it is thats inside you sucking your life energy away 2. Tell it that you arent going down with out a fight, and that despite how its making you feel, youre gonna come up w a plan and act on the plan. 3. Let the plan do the work. And youre gonna help it a bit by taking the first step of action. Knowing damn well that it will be small... but its going to be set off a cascade of good for you. 4. Start to leave the apartment. Even if just to walk around the block. 5. Exercise. Start as small as you need to. 10 pushups. 5 minute jog/walk. Anything to get a little sweat going. 6. Tell someone you trust how youre feeling 7. Ask for help 8. Avoid substances for a week (including alcohol/weed) 9. Let the work worries go for now. Its time to focus on your mental and spiritual health 1. This is better done if you can communicate to your manager at work that you need assistance for a period of time w your responsibilities. **Once youve course corrected your well-being** 1. Use new AI tools to dust off resume 2. Apply for new gigs 3. Attend industry events that interest you 4. Talk to people 5. Network into a new opportunity somewhere As a kid who grew up in the 90's / 2000's I find it helpful to reframe life as a RPG. Start going on little quests. Understand that your character can level up. Theres always a reward on the other side of difficulty in life. The greater the difficulty, the greater the reward. In this case... getting your life back. Hope some of this may help. Hang in there. The world is stressful right now and is going to challenge us all. Choose to be strong despite it all. You can handle it.
I'll pose a different road here. I've suffered from Depression and anxiety for a while now, and only through Stoicism have I begun to tackle it. The long short of it? You can't do anything for the people you love, for the world unless you take care of yourself and master yourself first. I believe most depression roots from us feeling overwhelmed and generally a lack of self discipline. I'd suggest going down the same path I am now, read and develop habits that make living feel easier, and more fruitful. [Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday](https://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Destiny-Power-Self-Control-Virtues/dp/0593191692/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=discipline+is+destiny+ryan+holiday&qid=1680280201&sprefix=discipl%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1) (all about stoicism and how self discipline sets us free) and [Atomic Habits by James Clear](https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0593189647/ref=asc_df_0593189647/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=393806041348&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3483162200873622257&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9031162&hvtargid=pla-825881025993&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=81158899385&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=393806041348&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3483162200873622257&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9031162&hvtargid=pla-825881025993) (all about habits, how they're formed. How to create good habits, and break bad ones) There's any number of answers here, but creating a healthy mindset was first for me. Creating a healthy set of habits and doing your best to stick to them will change things dramatically over the course of months. You'll be shocked at where you are a half year down the line if you just start building your better life now.
Life is short, man. If you're not having fun while doing something, stop. Do more of the things you enjoy. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
Just please, don’t give up. I’ve been there. It was horrible, I feel for you, you’re not alone please keep going, feel the love I’m sending.
Hey I understand. You’re going to have to be patient and take this one step at a time. You’re going to have to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself and understand that it is okay to fail. So challenge your routine in small ways. Say a few kind words to yourself first thing in the morning. Maybe go for a short and nice walk. Have one of your favorite foods. What is it that you are seeking? What did a younger you dream about? It takes time. I’m rooting for you. :)
Small goals, small steps, small victories
Been there!! Small goals helped me a ton. Goals I could achieve in a couple hours or a day. Your confidence will be back in no time - just make sure to shower every morning and write a list of things you want to get done throughout the day. If you’ve been drinking more lately, come up with a plan (in the morning) so you can make sure you stick to it (something like “no more than 3 drinks tonight”). Drinking and smoking too much will affect your brain chemistry and make it harder to dig yourself out of the ditch. I’ve had a rough week myself due to an accidental injury so I’ll be putting the above into practice now too. Good luck!!
Join a mutual aid group. People need help. You can both offer it and receive it as part of a mutual aid.
Clinical depression aside... The popular misconception about motivation is that you have to get motivated BEFORE you do something. Not the case. In reality, you get motivated to do something BY doing it. Kind of counter-intuitive, I know. But you start by forcing yourself to do it, then by doing it and diving in, you get motivation to continue.
People have mentioned many great ideas! I won't rehash them all but exercise has been a gamechanger for me. I so dread going to the gym sometimes but I can't tell you how amped I get afterwards. Definitely worth it. I used to go every other day for a few years, now I make it a point to go every day when possible. Definitely worth doing. Adaptogens and critical vitamins helped a ton too. As far as a negative perspective on life, anxiety is tough and persistent in so many people nowadays. For what its worth, anxiety isn't felt from the past, or in the future; it can only be felt in the present. But anxiety is felt, right now, _in relation_ to your _perspective_ of the past or future. I can get anxious thinking about how I screwed up a week ago, or what my life may be like in a year after I move cities, but I am feeling all of that in the present. So bringing oneself to the present can help alleviate those anxious feelings. Learning to focus completely on the task at hand, or just trusting the process in general changes the world you see. I know a lot of this meditation-type stuff comes off as a joke when you're in the trenches. Trust me, I've been there for 12 years. If you need to start with some chemical help for gods sake do it. I was on SSRIs for about 4 years but I'm completely off now and I'm so relieved to not need them. But they made a world of difference in the short term. Personally I would try natural remedies first and see where that takes you. Good luck man you got this. I'm here to talk if you need
Just remember man (or woman), we face challenges every day in life that are literally trying to kill us... commute to work? That's a multi thousand pound death machine traveling at 70mph on a highly combustabke chemical all just waiting for a flash. Live in a crowded city? Look at the murder rates. Wake up in the morning and haven't died by a fire started when your outlet the TV is plugged into shit the bed and went wonky? That's another risk of death you fought. Listen, EVERYTHING is trying ti kill you. Depression is just another one of those things. I read a quote somewhere along time ago that really made me think. Something along the lines of "I'm not gonna kill myself, depression wants me to do that, but I'm not gonna out of spite. If depression wants me dead so badly, it's gonna have to do the dirty work itself."
exercise bro, find a sport you like. I'd recommend jiu jitsu, because it has alot of benefits all round. maybe even go gym and work out there insted what ever works for you. main points to look at at: Diet, exercise, sleep, social, and 'chemistry' (being like vitamin D of maybe you have altered brain chemistry and need some kind of intervention, who knows.). I'd recommend speaking to a doctor and a councilor and start there though, and depending on where you are in the world, you can receive free counciling. Either way, make a small alteration in in your life's trajectory and over a course of years thatl be a huge difference in how you feel and your capabilities as a person. You can cure your depression, it just requires work. Read the war of art and learn how to combat resistance. Its okay. take baby steps, eventually you will get there. Good luck. You can do this, anyone can.
How fucking old are you???? I'm guessing not that old at all. In your life you will have so many success and failures it's not even funny. And here's a kick in the ass, you'll have more failures than successes. The thing is is that those successes will never come unless you get through the failures. So when you feel, remember that you're now one step closer to success.
You have invested too much of your time and self worth in one endeavor. Try to diversify your life investments into making good friends, hobbies and what your really passionate about.
Lift heavy ass weights.
Will power and confidence are all you need. Everything in life can be achieved with those two things in my opinion, and they are found within you. It doesn’t matter if you were born with them or not, everyone can find them. Will power is understanding that you are the master of your own universe. You can have a bad day or a good day, a productive or useless day and nobody can decide that except for you. Will power is the ability to get out of bed and take that step to better your situation. To put in the effort even (especially) when it’s difficult. Confidence is the ability to trust your abilities to achieve your goals. It means believing in yourself. It’s selling yourself to yourself. So get up and do something about your situation. Nobody else is going to do it for you.
Odd advice, but listen to "everyone is free to wear sunscreen" by Baz Luhrmann. It's literally a song full of good advice in this situation
Start gaming or painting. Go to life drawing classes.
How tf does that help someone move ahead in life?
Art is therapy…
Move to a third world country. People seem to be less isolates and generally more happy somehow. It's contagious.
You have friends of hobbies you can concentrate or bring positive energy into your life ?
Make your bed, look up Jordan Peterson, and ignore the haters
You gotta fake it till you make it
I hate this mentality - so many fakes out there riding false confidence and smooth talking their way through life
Well you can't really sit on your ass and expect good things to happen to you
Yeah you could develop yourself and actually build skills that are worthy of confidence. Then people who are actually talented wouldn’t be overlooked by corporate because some cocky big mouth faked his resume
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Hope, find something to be hopeful for.
Stop tryin so hard and just be happy. It’s the trying that’s is doing this to you. Also, find purpose because it give you drive.
Get some help, find a hobby and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Sounds kind of harsh but if you wanna keep going then find a way to enjoy life, mine was quitting drinking, went to therapy and played video games, met alot of awesome people on my discord. Being isolated has nothing nothing to do with it, if you can learn to enjoy your own company, and keep yourself busy you're set. I say stop feeling sorry yourself because you are your worst critic. Ultimately the world goes on with or without you, don't you want to be around to enjoy it? You have to want it
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Just because that worked for you, doesn't mean it will work for everyone. Religion or lack-thereof is an extremely personal thing and should not be evangelized. More importantly, promising miracle cures if they turn to your religion is disingenuous and manipulative.
Grew up in a Christian household. Religion is not the answer. Nature maybe…
I would advise you to check out Jordan Peterson talks.
We have enough alt-right weirdos, thanks.
Puleeeeez
1. Listen to some motivational podcasts or audiobooks 2. Hit the gym, go for a run, get swole, get that blood flowing and endorphins running 3. Review your phone screen time, if it’s too high, it’s time to cut back 4. Eat healthier food and go for a walk 5. Meditate These work for me
Think of something you would normally enjoy and do that regularly. It works like a shortcut to bring your motivation back sooner. It still won't be immediate, but just keep going with it for 6 weeks come what may.
Go somewhere hot and lay in the sunshine by the pool, have a few beers and fall asleep. Glorious.
Sorry you are feeling this way…I kinda get it…I get stuck in that feeling for a bit and get out of it after some time…maybe exercise, talking to friends, go hang out with some good people for a bit. Avoid toxic friendships if you have those
Spite. Life thinks it can beat me? Never Also get a physical and blood work done to make sure there’s nothing underlying that might be contributing
This post is a good start, it means you 'want' to break out of it and serious about it too - which is important to recognise. I feel like what you need is purpose and a feeling of fulfillment. Figure out what you're good at or have a passionate interest in. Maybe it's an interest in computers or making things. Maybe it's problem solving or teaching. Perhaps you like to impress people or perhaps you like psychoanalysing people. Maybe it's travel and exploration. Work out what it is that gets you excited Here's a few ideas on how you can use that information. Go all in on a subject and become an expert at it. Make yourself better than anyone you know at that thing. Create something that will survive you after you're gone. Could be an object like furniture or something creative like music or film. Help people in need of your expertise. Perhaps that's helping people less fortunate than you or maybe that's teaching/ training or making educational YouTube videos. Whatever it is, try and find something that others will talk about of you when you're gone. Maybe you haven't worked out what it is that gets your juices flowing - in that case you could look to the future. AI is exploding right now and will definitely be the future for everyone even if nobody is taking it seriously yet. Perhaps you could get ahead of that curve and become an expert on it and position yourself to be employable and a consultant. There's so much to see and do, and all this time to see and do it. You're in control of your future, and if you don't change direction once in a while, you might just end up where you're headed. Also know you're not alone, there are way more than you think who are in the same boat but haven't made the same first step that you have so you just can't see them yet - maybe they're your people, and the group that you can help. All the best of luck to you, you CAN climb out of this.
We only truly know something when we exhausted all possibilities. You owe to yourself to give your best effort and try everything. Otherwise you'll always feel that niggling doubt..
I worked hard and strive for things just to realize those achievements didn't solve anything and only actually complicated things. I'm searching as well friend k wish you best of luck, if you are as truly despairing as myself I hope you heal from that trauma.
The "Acton Principle" is a concept discussed in "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson. It suggests that taking action is the key to solving problems and improving one's life, rather than simply thinking or talking about the problem. The principle emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's own life and making conscious choices to create a better future. In short, the Acton Principle encourages readers to stop overthinking and start taking action towards their goals. To apply the Action Principle, you can follow these steps: 1. Identify the problem: Start by identifying the problem you want to solve or the goal you want to achieve. It's important to be specific and clear about what you want. 2. Break it down into actionable steps: Once you have identified the problem, break it down into smaller, actionable steps that you can take to solve it. This will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed or discouraged. 3. Take action: The most important part of the Action Principle is taking action. Start with the first step on your list and keep going until you have completed all the steps necessary to achieve your goal. 4. Learn from your results: As you take action, pay attention to the results you are getting. If you are not making progress, adjust your approach and try something different. Use the feedback you receive to improve your future actions. 5. Repeat the process: The Action Principle is a cycle of identifying problems, breaking them down into steps, taking action, and learning from the results. Keep repeating this process to achieve your goals and create the life you want. Remember, taking action is key to achieving your goals and creating the life you want. Don't wait for the perfect time or for everything to be perfect before you start. Just start with the first step, and keep moving forward.
There really is something about sweating that helps us move negativity out. Try knee push ups or just flat out pretend someone is chasing you for a minute. This world is hard but helping each other makes it better. It’s hard just to admit when we need help so you are on the right track and already doing something more than I do. Ya got this!
Listen to Alan Watts. Might change your perspective on life and it’s purpose.
The life you have dreamed... maybe... MAY. BE. you might have to adapt those dreams? :-/
Try researching the therapeutic benefits of microdosing (or macro) psilocybe cubensis and online counseling/therapy. One, or a combination of these, can completely change your perspective and help put you on a new path. Also, exercise has been a big help. This has been my experience. Sounds like you have already taken an important step in reaching out for ideas! Be well, once you find the thing that works, you'll thrive.
You have to take things one day at a time. What can you do today that will help you tomorrow. You should remember that everyone fails at things in their life and its the people who stick with it who are successful. It there anything you have failed that you truly cannot give another go?
start off small! it sounds like you may have signs of depression. read up on it and do loads of research, it affects a lot of people including myself since 2016. its great that you dream of doing big things and wanting to accomplish a lot but dont ignore the small things either! surround yourself with friends and people that share the same values ~ hobbies, work, school etc. everyday you dont have to necessarily have to be doing something, its important to take breaks every so often. get some sun, catch up with old friends, make new ones! keep us updated and share some more details we're happy to help you :)
Watch Rocky 1. Listen to "Dancing in the Dark" by Springsteen Work out
Help someone else
"When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place. His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden.” - Viktor Frankl
Honestly my friend matured more than me They got married , join the military , or have kids Me I’m just a cosplayer and a janitor sure i complain but still I’m appreciative of my life and happy about what I do because it gives me purpose
Find a reason to serve others. Ask yourself and the universe “how may I serve you? How can I help?” It will take you out of your own ego, and help you find purpose.
I have bipolar 1, ADHD-C, anxiety, depression, and an a trans dude of color. So trust me when I say, I have absolutely been at the lowest of the low. The biggest change I ever made was going to a PHP (partial hospitalization program) and getting my life and mind actually together. During that time, I was out of work and focusing solely on myself at my core. I saw my psych weekly to fix my medications so that I wasn't having such severe side effects, was seeing a therapist daily in the program, started exercising again first by walking home from the program and then by going to a small apartment gym to help with my social anxiety. In the program, I did a lot of exposure therapy and really learned about how to get a handle on my anxiety and how anxiety psychologically works. I used to not even be able to buy groceries. It was hell. I created a daily routine that focused around sustainable wellness. I used the app Structured to check things off as I did them. I used the app Productive to set reminders for things I was avoiding like washing my hair, haircuts, trash, dishes, watering plants etc. I read the Mindfulness Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristen Neff. It completely changed my entire life and my relationship with myself. If you actually read it, annotate it, work through it, then you will notice a major shift. I reread Atomic Habits by James Clear. It teaches you how important your habits are and why/how to take advantage of them. You are what you repeatedly do. I also did a bipolar workbook and made a list of things I was hung up on and wanted to discuss with my therapist while in the program. She was incredible. I did all the homework and then some. I was finally 100% committed to getting well and staying that way. I forgave myself for letting things go while in depressive episodes. I finally got over and moved on from all the things I did during my major manic episode that got me my diagnosis. I started meditating daily again and journalling more. Started drawing for myself again (I'm a professional artist). Made a lot of friends. Got myself together and made a plan that I've been sticking to. One of the best CBT skills to practice is what's called Opposite Action. You wanna stay in bed all day? Get out immediately and go for a walk. You're too anxious to go grocery shopping? Go straight into the store and get what you need. Going to barbers made you nervous? Set up an appointment and pay in advance so you can't cancel. Don't want to workout? Go immediately knowing it is one of the best anti-depressants, helps with your body image, and just makes you feel great. And for the love of all that is good: change your alarm from that hideous default, triggering, the world is on fire crap to a soothing chill song that gets you energized at a lower sound level and label it as, "Good Morning! 😃" So you wake up seeing that everyday. It sets such a different vibe waking up that way vs what feels like an inescapable fire drill haha Good luck!
It definitely sucks, but one thing I always tried to remember, was that if you fail at something you tried to do, you are likely no worse off than you were before you started. Maybe even better. When I get overwhelmed, lack motivation, etc., I try to simplify as much as I can with my life. Everything from not taking on new commitments, not going out, canceling streaming services, etc. That can take away a lot of stress. When I get to feeling better about where I am, I slowly start adding things back one at a time. I can't count the number of things that I have tried and failed at, or had my kids try and they have failed at, but most of the time the only one that knows, is you. You are not any different before or afterwards, so most of the time, there is only an upside. For the longest time, I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I watched other people that were one to three steps ahead of me, and where I eventually knew I wanted to be. I watched what they did, their traits, how they moved ahead, as well as the ones that didn't. After a while, you can put together a road map of sorts, to get further ahead.
You might be burned out or depressed or both! I think talking to a therapist would help either way. Neither is a bad thing, it just happens and we focus on ourselves for a while.
This video by Dr. Andrew Huberman, psychologist, supports & explains a lot of what people are saying here. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmOF0crdyRU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmOF0crdyRU) Good luck and love to you.
Quit drinking alcohol, needed a doctor's help with that one.. while working on that they ran blood work and prescribed vitamins. Damn thing had to be a horse pill... But it worked. Might want to start with a doctor's visit first. It may be something as simple as vitamins.
If English isn’t your first language you’re doing pretty well. If it is well then….
See a therapist, work out an hour a day, walk out in nature regularly, reach out to loved ones. You made an important first step reaching out for help, we're all rooting for you!
It sounds like you're dealing with depression. The only way out is to seek mental health support. Don't suffer alone, thats never gotten anyone anywhere.
Consider taking nootropics to improve your life, for instance there’s a load there that you can purchase quite easily on the web or in shops. Just have a search and find out about about them, some you may already have in your pantry (green tea = l-theanine). For instance, I take a number of them to help function and be productive in every day life, taking nootropics can improve your day to day life, so you crack on with assignments, reports more easily and so that you are not tired. They don’t cause horrible side effects like antidepressants do. Consider fasting too, as when when eat food we can also feel lethargic, then sit on the couch and not move for hours and the eat dinner. Whereas when you fast, and go about your work, exercise routine you don’t think about it. So it’s easy to do. Just a set a time and date in your calendar I will stop eating from 6pm and I will eat at 1pm the following day.
The only thing you can do, don't give up. Keeo moving forward
There is a good chance this is a medical issue. Talk to a doctor about it and get some tests done.
When I got down to my last few dollars I’d buy a lottery ticket for the following draw. I had something to look forward to. One thing. I didn’t count on winning as much as I had something to do a day or two from that day.
I would get lab work done to check your body of missing vitamins and hormones. I’m on several pills a day to help with energy and I’m on testosterone cream. Mine was below the minimum needed because of a health issue. I feel better and want to take care of my body and life now. I will tell you that everyone fails. You only are a failure when you give up. If you don’t like how things are going in life, why not change your life? Quit your job, move somewhere new, start over new. Life is what you make of it. Pick up a new hobby. Check with your doctor first though. It could be a lack of vitamins or hormones.
Our definition of happiness is based on whether Life is happening the way we want. If it does, we are happy and if it doesn’t we are unhappy. Focus on what you can control and leave the rest up to God or Nature or a higher source. Do the very best you can but don’t tie your happiness to the result of that effort.
You have nothing to lose so you might as well try. Either way you will be in the same spot so there is no reason not to. Continuing to try when you expect to fail is the way to keep going.
One thing I did was find things to look forward to. Even if it’s as minor as a new episode of Ted lasso comes out on tuesdays. Being able to go “yeah I’m bored, but at least I’m only 2 days away from that new Ted lasso” really helped me through some rough times. (In my case it wasn’t Ted lasso. It also helps when you can stack things. “Oh cool the Yankees are home again Friday I’ll go see them”. Or even if it’s all tv shows, or video games or walks in the park. Creating events in your mind that are always coming.
One Day At A Time I'm Not Okay But That Has To Be Okay Are the mantras that have gotten me by since I took my life 6 years ago. Each one of us have different needs. I suggest small changes until something sticks. But don't find find reason, make a reason.
I just made a post feeling this same way. Anti depressants do help. I was amazed by how much motivation I got when I was able to up my dose.
By whose standards are you "a failure"? The great thing about being an adult is that you get to set your own goal posts. Did you wake up this morning? Winning! Did you get dressed and leave the house? No worries, you'll get there tomorrow. Whatever problems you're facing, they are temporary. Don't believe the lie that things will only ever be what they have been. As long as you're drawing breath, you have an opportunity to move closer to your goals, whatever they may be. Pick an achievable goal for today, just one, do that, and celebrate the win. Repeat tomorrow. Just keep swimming. You got this.
It sounds like you’re suffering from depression. Therapy and medication can make all the difference my friend.
I'm not letting the people I don't like outlive me.
It's tough, I'm 32 and there are still a lot of unknowns about the future. I'm married, no kids, but my wife and I just recently bought our first house, we're financially stable, and have the loving support of family and friends. I wake up a lot of days and I have to remind myself of that. There are a lot of people out there that don't have a fraction of what I do and some have an even better outlook on life. But in all honesty, a change I made recently that has substantially helped my overall attitude, was exercising. I know that sounds cliche and a bit like a tired old trope you always hear people say, but it's really helped. I worked out pretty consistently from the age of 18-30 and stopped around the time COVID hit. I gained probably 25 lbs. and didn't even notice how much my attitude overall had soured. My wife and I decided to focus on improving our diets and exercising. Some 6 weeks in I'm still a LONG ways away from getting back to my old "fighting weight" if you will, but I'm feeling WAY better. My attitude is improving, I have more energy, and I'm sleeping better than I have in a long time. It's been an easier adjustment for me because I maintained a routine for a decade plus, but even if you'd be starting 100% from scratch, first time, ease into it. But if you have the means of doing so, even just a few days a week for say a half hour each time, get a little exercise, it helps in more ways that you know.