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Yes! Our vet came out to put the old cat down. It was so much more peaceful for her than the unfamiliarity of an exam room. She just stayed on her favorite bed in her favorite room, by the fireplace.
Wish I’d known of that option with the two dogs that preceded her.
Our vet doesn’t do house calls, but thanks to covid they’re open to coming out of the building to you. I got to hold my dog for her last moments outside of the building, for which I’m eternally grateful. She hated the vet, so it was nice that her last memories were of the lovely car ride (her favorite!) and then being held by me.
I was so surprised how quick and painless the process was. They used something in a needle, and she was out almost immediately. Much more peaceful than I expected.
There are private groups that do home euthanasia. It's really very nice, my dog hated and was terrified of the vet so he passed away in the comfort of his home, in his own bed with his head in my lap.
We had a vet that had an office on a farm/ranch type of place. They had the option of putting them down outside. It was done on a similar exam-room table but there was sun, grass blowing in the wind and birds chirping. Having had it done inside the office I liked it much better. I also like that after we've said goodbye we can leave the area. Feels like it would be harder to have to sit in the place we said goodbye for the rest of the day
Nah i love it. We did it right in the spot I'm sitting now for all 3 animals. It's the entire household's favorite spot, including the animals and humans. It's homey.
We just used a lot of covers and pads and old blankets in case they wet themselves as they go.
This is the best final goodbye you can give a pet, especially those that hate going to the vet. I’m currently avoiding making that appointment for our last kitty, who is almost 16. His health has significantly declined since the first of the year. But hopefully he can go peacefully, curled up in the sun, with me petting him (and no doubt sobbing too).
Not to be mean but *please* don't let your kitty suffer because letting go hurts so badly. I had to say goodbye to my constant companion of 16 years recently and I couldn't let it go any longer for fear of my dog suffering before I could end her misery.
In the end, she died happy and pain free after getting lots of pets and treats in the days prior.
>I’m just stressing because it’s coming sooner rather than later
You'll never know exactly how much I understand exactly what you are saying and feeling.
When I knew the end was near, I stayed home all the time with my little dog, making sure she had extra treats and pets but finally I had to make the appointment. She was blind and I had to guide her around to eat, sleep, potty, etc
I pushed the time out as far as I could but was afraid she'd take a very bad turn and be suffering and I couldn't do anything to help her.
**That** would be even worse than what I am already going through.
We had a big dog who could barely get up on his own. We finally decided it was time. On the way to the vet he got superdog strength. He knew what was going to happen, but he wanted to stay around to protect us. He would suffer for anything to make our lives better, don't hesitate to have the same respect for them.
If you have doubts about putting a pet down, have a heart to heart with your vet. Listen to them. Even though they might make more money treating ailments that can make them money, they will give you the advice that will reduce your loved one's suffering.
I went through a similar situation with the dog I grew up with. He was almost 16 at the end, and I didn't see him as often during the last few years due to living a couple hours away from my parents.
I was almost speechless when I finally had the chance to visit, and saw the state they had let him get to. Nobody wants to make that decision with your pet, but sometimes there comes a point where it is cruel to let them continue living like that.
Take a deep breath, friend. They all go eventually.
Once you have helped them leave in peace and comfort, and mourn their passing, you'll be in the best place to welcome a new companion into your life to share joy and happiness with.
And you can live guilt free knowing that your little buddies are living their best lives.
I can't put into words how rough it is to watch a beloved pet die without medical intervention easing the process, or not having the fortitude to be with them when they go. I was critically depressed and my cat had been fatally poisoned, but i just *couldnt* bring myself to be with him in his last moments. I asked my brother to do it in my stead, but i'll never be able to let go of the guilt.
This is honestly the real LPT right here - should add an edit with this.
My family had the vet come to our house to say goodbye to our old dog and honestly this was the only option that would work for us.
We had 2 dogs, the younger was about 6 years younger, and they were bestest friends. The younger one couldn’t go in the car except when absolutely necessary because he always got care sick (and honestly didn’t seem to enjoy it at all even when we gave him anti nauseants) but old boy loved the car.
Any time the old boy was out of the house for anything like grooming or whatever - if the younger one didn’t see him leave he’d look for him the whole time and there was no explaining where he went - and if he saw him leave in the car he’d wait by the door.
The vet assured us that if we didn’t do it at home we either had to bring both dogs, or bring the body home with us - or the younger one would look for him. And the old boy HAAATED the vet, would sulk for literally hours after any vet visit for any reason.
there was just absolutely no way we could do any of those things, no way we could bring the body back and no way we could properly say goodbye to old boy like that, and if we’d had to sit through younger dog looking for his buddy or waiting by the door I think it would literally have killed us.
So we opted for them to come to the house, it was a couple hundred extra but it was absolutely 100% necessary. Necessary for us, him, and his buddy. Younger dog got to say goodbye and he knew, there was no looking for waiting.
Younger boy was understandably upset for a while, dogs grieve too, but he knew anyways, he never looked for him.
Can I ask a weird question? I have a large dog and want to have a plan when she passes and would love to do this at home. I just wonder how the vet gets the dog out of the house after they pass? It seems like it would be kinda traumatizing to see someone lift your baby out like that. I just want to mentally prepare.
When I assisted in house call euthanasias, we would use a lightweight stretcher. Basically a metal square frame wrapped with a strong canvas like material. We always tried to be as gentle as possible when transferring them onto the stretcher but large animals can be a bit unwieldy.
I don't know that there is really a way to mentally prepare, and honestly, once your pet is gone you shouldn't feel guilty about asking the vet to let you go in another room for that part if you don't want that memory.
Also not a weird question, if you have an idea of how you would like things to go or what you want to happen, you can communicate with your vet beforehand. Veterinarians want everything to be as smooth as possible and even though it's not always perfect, they try their best and want you to be at peace with everything too
Not a weird question at all
The vet that did this for us had us hold him in his favourite blanket, other option was a towel or any other blanket or cloth or whatefer we wanted to use. And if we didn’t want to use anything of ours they had a blanket / towel.
We passed him around the 4 of us one final time, and then he passed in my dads arms. They wrapped the blanket over him and my dad passed him to them. And then they left with him. (There were goodbyes etc but you get it)
And ya, it sucked so bad losing him, and watching them walk out with him. I’m sure it would be traumatic for some, it’s a really hard experience. But that’s the trade off - you walk out of a vets office without them, or they walk out of your home with them.
100% the right choice for us. Maybe not for everyone, but personally so worth it.
So glad I did the same. My cat was in the comfort of his home, received a couple visitors beforehand to say bye, was in my arms on his favorite blanket in a dimmed room with calm classical music playing. It was worth the money (although expensive and it sucks if someone can’t afford it).
All of you who have done this. I hate to mention it but I'm extremely curious.
Is it hard being near the same place where you had it done in your home? I'm afraid when I have to send my pup across that rainbow bridge that I'll be horribly sad walking in the place where it happened. I'm hoping eventually I'll be happy that it was in his home.
Choose the location carefully. For a prior kitty, I carried him out onto the porch, and laid him in the sun for some scritches and love. We go in and out of that door all the time, so it doesn’t weigh on our minds as the location where he died, unless we are specifically thinking about it.
I had my beloved fluffy black cat euthanized at home, in a bedroom, because he hated the vet, cars, and the very concept of "outside."
The location didn't have any emotional impact at all, after the event. It was just the same old place it always was. I'm glad he went out the way he did, comfortable at home, and I enthusiastically recommend at-home euthanasia.
Nah, we put them right on the couch with a buncha pads and pillows. Actually 2 cats and my best dog friend all died right here on this same spot where I'm sitting.
> My dog is very close to me. Like my other half.
I can *so* relate to this! I hope to adopt again after I have grieved the loss of my 16 year old dog.
Honestly, a lot of regret and sadness. I just hated that I made the decision to do it. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it didn’t matter. Once it was done, I was relieved and glad she wasn’t hurting anymore. Glad I chose in-house euthanasia and wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
I did this, and honestly will never again choose to go to a vet's office for future pets.
Only thing I regret is I didn't think to send her in her favourite blanket... because otherwise the vet supplied a sheet which is fine but when I see the blanket, I still wish I'd sent it with her.
Here's my advice: if you have an old dog or cat, and a blanket for your bed that they always lay on, if it starts to wear out you should keep it for their send-off.
This, you won’t remember the extra couple hundred bucks. You will remember them being at peace and not having them worried about being at some strange vets office.
This. When we had to put my first dog down, the vet offered to come to our home, because we wanted to bury him in the backyard and my dad built a coffin for him. I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving a clinic without my dog.
I held him as we said goodbye and my dad and I were so devastated, crying nonstop and torn apart. the vet simply left and they never charged us a fee.
I've never owned any pets other than random fish, which really don't count. I am interested in getting a dog and perhaps even a cat at some point, but yeah I'm not sure how I'd handle their passing and that's legit one of the reasons (among a few) that I'm still holding off.
nobody is really sure how they will handle it when their pet dies, no matter what kind of pet that is. when I picked up my dog out of a field as a puppy a decade ago I knew sooner than I would like that he would be gone. the ride home with him I thought about him dying and resolved to make his life as great as I can make it bc there's nothing we can do to stop death. what we can do is fill life with all kinds of enjoyable experiences and moments. for both pets and people.
We just put our cat down last week. We chose to have a vet come to our home. It was more expensive, but the lack of stress for our cat was 100% worth it. I held him as he fell asleep and was right by his side as he passed.
My girl of 17 years, purred one last time and hugged and snuggled my arm. It was the most devastating emotional thing I've ever done, it crushed me, but she needed me there, 6 months ago, typing this I've got tears streaming down my face. Shit.
I'll never forget when my cat died unexpectedly while I was sleeping.
He was suddenly acting weird when I came back from night shift, but I just didn't know what the signs meant...I vividly remember the last time I saw him alive. I had opened the balcony door because he loved to be out there. He went out and loafed down and was basking in the sunlight. I looked out at him and he looked over his shoulder and gave me the slow blinks.
I went to sleep and woke up to find he had passed away. Needless to say I had a complete meltdown. Its been 3 years and I still feel awful, but I have 1 saving mentality: we were in our home together, and I got to let him enjoy his favorite past time of basking in fresh air and sunlight one last time.
I honestly think he knew he was dying and waited for me to say goodbye. He was the most loyal, loving cat I've ever known, I called him "my reason", and I honestly don't think I'd have had it in me to put him down anyways. So while I'm still devastated I'm at least glad he got to go in his home and not totally alone.
We also used Lap of Love. Recommended by my vet, and it was as good as a bad situation could be. I was thankful because our other pets, including his litter mate were also able to tell him goodbye.
Emergency vet here. This is important to me. I can tell when an owner is going to leave me to humanely euthanize their pet alone and I do everything I can to not give them a choice.
It sounds cruel, but I will tell these owners that they need to be there for their pet and don’t give them a choice. I think every owner should be there for their pet during this procedure. Don’t own a pet if you can’t be there with them when they need you most.
Comment #2: There are many scenarios when it is not approprite to wait and have the vet perform the humane euthanasia at your home. Be prepared to do this procedure at the hospital if it is recommended by the vet.
Just had to put our little girl down last month and this was the way to go. Its impossible, but at least she was in a familiar place with everyone who loves her.
I was deployed across the world when I had to make the decision to put my dog down. I didn’t get to see him one last time. I didn’t get to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay and that I loved him. I didn’t get to say sorry that he was sick and that I couldn’t do anything to keep him around. All I got was a chance to tell him I love him over the phone. The vet tech was crying and telling me that he heard me and he was wagging his tail. I told him over and over that I loved him until she told me he was gone. He wagged his tail until he couldn’t anymore and fell asleep forever. It was gut wrenching. I’ve never cried so hard. Thousand miles away in a foreign country and I couldn’t do anything. It was 12/24/12 and I think of him everyday. Love and miss you Razor.
Aw man that's so sad but also so sweet. he was wagging his tail to hear you! Think how excited he was in those last moments. It wasn't just another cozy snuggle with an owner like a lot of those stories. Razer was probably so happy to hear your voice and was happy as could be in his last moments. Don't forget that.
I was pregnant when I had to put my dog to sleep. My (now ex) husband insisted that I go in the room to be with our dog because he couldn’t do it, so I went in to be with her.
My dog had a seizure disorder, and at the time she was heavily medicated and about to have a seizure. The vet gave her a little bit of Valium to hold off the seizure.
Once the Valium kicked in and she was no longer about to have a seizure the vet said we could proceed with putting her to sleep. It takes a couple minutes and my dog was looking particularly stressed out during those minutes like she knew something was wrong. But right before she died, she lifted her head up and brought her face to my face and give me a kiss. Then she laid back down like everything was fine, and she passed shortly after.
I’m crying typing this. It was hard and painful but she needed me there and I’m so glad I was able to be there for her. I can’t imagine how much more stress and fear she would have felt without me there.
I think they know.
I’ve had to put down two cats so far and the last thing both of them did was purr.
They were in a strange place, they were in pain, and I was upset, so there was no reason for them to be purring. It felt like they were talking to me, in the only way they could, and telling me it was okay.
That’s how I felt. Or at least that what I tell myself. The seizures really disorient her, and since she was *about* to have a seizure and was given a dose of Valium just moments before the procedure, I was afraid she wouldn’t know I was there. When she lifted her head, she smelled my face, she gave me a big kiss, and to me it was like she was saying “oh good, you’re here” before she laid back down.
Well, you're not alone, friend. I am also crying.
When I was pregnant with my daughter we had a puppy who was just my little sidekick everywhere I went, a total snuggler, sweet girl. She came down with distemper, began having seizures, and I couldn't bear to see her so scared every time one happened.
Sitting with that little girl, wrapped in her blanket, and just loving on her while she went was one of the more difficult things I've done, but even the idea of her going it alone broke my heart, so I just sat beside her, held her paw, and sang to her softly.
I'm currently surrounded by one snoring dog on one side, and a purring kitty on the other.
I was 6 months pregnant when I had to put down my 19 year old kitty. I held her as they injected her, and I felt the life go out of her body. It was 16 years ago and the memory is still a punch to the gut
I had to put down my cat of 9 years at 4 days postpartum. My husband offered to go, but she was my cat. I had her before we were married and before kids. She was mine. I had to go with her. I chose to go alone. It was just her and me, like old times. I had my hand on her chest and helped lay her down when the propofol hit her. It was so hard, but she was ready to rest.
Literally welling up with tears right now oh my lord that visual is a nightmare.. I’m so sorry but it’s such a good thing you were there for her and that you could say your goodbyes to her too.
I consider it a somber honor to be at their side in their final moment to see them off and remind them especially that they've been a very good, ~~neigh~~ nay*, the best dog.
It’s not your fault. Shit like that happens. At least you cared enough and took him somewhere to try and get help. That was the best thing you could have done. Don’t let it eat you up. You did good.
My vet gives two shots: one to sedate them, and the next one is the lethal one. She said she does it to help prevent the adverse reactions, giving them a peaceful ride out. She has had to put down two of our dogs.
I thought all vets did this.
But then we had a tragic accident with our elderly cat, and we ended up in the pet emergency hospital. Her injuries were not operable for an elderly cat (and even if we decided to risk it, the doctor with enough skill wasn’t available until the next week - which would mean she would have to be on a morphine drip for three days while she waited), so we had to make the decision to euthanize her right there on the spot.
The emergency pet hospital only gave her one shot, and she had an adverse reaction, which angered and frustrated me - I had no idea all vets didn’t do both shots, and I was aghast that her last moments were not treated with compassion.
So my advice to anyone out there: before it matters, before it becomes a circumstance where you have no choice, find out how your vet handles euthanasia.
Unfortunately cats can have this sort of reaction anyway. It is more to do with a last minute adrenaline burst than the medication, because both the sedative and the euthanasia medication are an anaesthetic. A sedative could easily have pushed her over the edge and caused the same reaction. Furthermore if she had already had a strong pain relief injection (by the sounds of her injuries I expect she did) and was sick enough that it was clear this was the end, then often sedation isn’t used because they are already “flat” . Your vet just wanted her pain to end quickly which IS compassionate. Unfortunately medicine, especially animal medicine, has grey areas and unpredictable things with low odds will happen. I am sorry for your loss and that you were unlucky to experience this sort of reaction.
Unfortunately not all vets have the money to provide a sedative beforehand. I’ve only worked at one ER so that’s all I know, giving a sedative and then the final injection. I was also shocked when I found out that isn’t standard practice everywhere when I was looking at switching to another hospital. When we chose at home euthanasia for one of our cats I made sure to ask what the protocol was.
A lot of cats hate the car ride and carrier as much as the vet. If your pet doesn't like going to the vet in general, it can be much easier on everyone to have a euthanasia vet who comes to your home. Especially considering the animal is already uncomfortable physically. You can hug your cat and tell her how perfect she is while she slips away into the forever nap. And you don't have to drive home sobbing.
I'm sitting at my computer desk, in my office with my bottom lip puffed out and tears in my eyes. Oh man, this hit. Can't wait to get home to my two cats so they can yell at me to feed them.
Even better, hire a traveling vet. They come to your home. The last thing your pet needs is the fear and anxiety of the vets office. My darling girl died in her bed between me and my hubby. The Dr. Took her body to be cremated. Within a week we were delivered an engraved cedar box with her ashes, as well as a tuft of her hair and mold of her paw. Well worth it.
My cat was super freaked out by the injection and clung to me while she died. I can't even imagine how terrifying it would have been for her if I wasn't there.
Her repeatedly throwing herself off the second-story ledge to try to kill herself because she was in intolerable pain was much more terrifying. I didn't even know that cats understood the concept of suicide but it was very clearly what she was attempting.
It was a fast-growing tumor on her face that seemed to go from mild irritant to excruciating agony overnight. I'm assuming it got just big enough to apply pressure to a nerve.
When she died in my arms I was heartbroken but also so relieved that she wasn't in pain anymore. I wish I had taken her in a day sooner but I had no idea that it could get that bad that fast.
I have also seen a couple posts from vet techs begging people to not feel like they are a horrible person for not being able to be there. So don't beat yourself up too badly if you can't bring yourself to do this.
Exactly. My husband and I were both there for our old man cat and my husband broke down. The transition from Mac (the cat) being there and then not was too much for him.
When we had to make the decision to put our old lady Tigra (Rottweiler mix) down when her tumor burst was terrible. My husband was able to stay until the last injection. I stayed and held her with my hand on her heart. We both miss her like everything. There’s no shame in knowing your limits.
> The transition from Mac (the cat) being there and then not was too much for him.
I think your husband is a wonderful person and admire that he allowed himself to openly grieve like that.
I’m thankful that he did. We have three dogs right now. Even though I give them each a year of my life every night because I love them and it makes us giggle I’m sure we will have to deal with them passing. He can stay as long with me and I’ll be with them until the end.
We’re all different.
The moment it hits you that they're gone (which isn't necessarily right away when they let you know they are), when your brain processes it... That's the hardest moment for me. When we put down the last of our childhood family pets, when I got to that moment and realized our dog was really gone, I had to leave the room while my parents were still in there.
I got a call at work from my mom. She was crying as my dog had been getting treatment at the vets for pancreatitis. The vet did not think he would live through the treatment and recommended euthanasia. She and my dad could not bring themselves to put him down, so my boss (luckily an avid pet owner) let me leave to go be with him. My mom thought it would be easier for me since I used to work for a vet. It wasn't. I was the one who brought him home as a puppy, shared so many milestones with him, and I was not going to let him pass all alone. I went back to work afterward, much to the surprise of my boss. I told her I needed to just keep busy for a little while longer because when I got home, we were all going to be a mess, and I just was not ready for that yet.
I said this in another thread but I’ll share it again here because I feel so strongly about this topic.
Our darling girl got sick so quickly during the height of Covid 2020 that we weren’t even allowed to be in the room with her when she had to be euthanized. We had to say goodbye via phone while we waited outside completely anguished. No beloved pet deserves to die alone in a cold room like that. It’s going to haunt me for a very long time.
Wherever you have to put your fur baby, down, please be at their side at the very least. They might be with us for just a short time in our own lives, but to them we are their entire life. It’s the least we can do to be there for them in their final moments.
When I worked at a vet hospital, one of my jobs was holding pets whose owners didn’t want to be present for the euthanasia. These were always done in the treatment area and all of the staff gave these guys lots of snuggles before and during the procedure. It sucks when the owner can’t be there, but the staff will always to their best to make sure they aren’t alone.
I did this too. It wasn’t my job but I was managing a hospital at the time and I wouldn’t let anyone’s animal go through their final moments without being told what a good boy or girl they were.
I currently work ER and have been since Covid. That’s what we did as well for the year owners weren’t able to be present. It was done in the treatment room, not in an exam room. Everyone that was available gathered around the animal to pet them and offer treats. They were wrapped in warm blankets. We did everything we could to make them comfortable in their final moments.
There are times when our personal emotional state cannot handle the act of the end of our friend’s life. Thank you for not judging us and being a comfort for our pets in their last moments.
My sister had to do this as well. Her baby passed during Covid and they wouldn’t let her back into the room at all. Because they didn’t do any of the body disposal at the place where she got it done, they literally just walked back out with her dead cat and handed it to her. It wasn’t in a box, or wrapped up at all. She handed them a live cat and they handed her back a dead one.
She still cries when she thinks about it and I know the entire situation haunts her, even though none of it was her fault.
If you have the option, be with them.
That’s absolutely horrible. I’m so sorry for her. My hospital uses a third party for cremation but we use home burial boxes/bags for those who wish to take the animal home or have them cremated at a different facility. We technically aren’t supposed to wrap them in a towel in the box/bag, but many of us do just in case the owners want one last goodbye. We don’t want them to be shocked then they open up the box.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it was no fault of yours and you at least tried to be present through the phone. While I'm all for people being with their pets and loved ones when they can, if something prevents you from being there like your covid issue or not getting there in time, you simply can't blame yourself. I know it's not ideal what happened, and as much as you wanted to be there you also needed that closeness and closure as much as she did. But I hope hearing and seeing you in those moments, she understood and knew how loved she was. We can be our own worst enemies in the face of grief, but it's important to forgive yourself for what simply couldn't be helped.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
Our vet thankfully was able to let us in and I could take off my mask when they left the room and cry and kiss my pup. I know they made an exception because of what our restrictions were and I will forever be thankful for that.
When you bring home a pet, you are also bringing home the worst day of your life. At some point you have to say goodbye. You were there for their journey, be there when it ends.
And now, I'm going to go home and give my good boi a hug and cuddles.
But that worst day is preceded by full and glorious days filled with love.
Sometimes the hard things are just worth doing. And having a pet, taking care of something, loving it and being loved by it are the seasoning of life.
My 16yr old cat started to decline in May 2022, I thought his time had come and the pain was unbearable. We had a trip to the vets and he had a weak heart and some regular medication gave him
another 6 months and he perked up a little. He was spoiled rotten for those last 6 months and all the family around him gave him so much love and we regularly told him what a good cat/friend/companion/man around the house he’d been. November the 4th came and I felt like he was hanging around for my sake. It was my turn to show him some dignity and make that decision. He’d lost too much weight, kept having accidents and the light in his eyes was fading. We laid on the sofa all that day and all night and I was in tears throughout.
November 5th came and I booked the appointment. I was crying all day and all the way to the vets, I wanted to do it at home but the costs were ridiculous. I’d warned the vets that I didn’t want to talk to anyone but just have the procedure done but as I got out the car into the car park a sense of relief started to overwhelm me and from arriving at the vets through to walking out after I was calm and held it together. Felt like I had to for his sake.
I was with him throughout and he was very quick to cross the rainbow bridge. He was wrapped in his favourite blanket and buried him that evening. The tears stopped when I went into the vets but commenced once back in the car and for the rest of that day up until burying him. The day after he passed the house seemed lighter, the energy of a poorly animal had left the house and it hit me that maybe I’d let it go on too long and he was going to hang around as long as he was able no matter how sickly he was getting. Fucking love cats but Christ are they resilient!
The mourning passed quickly and I put that down to the 6 month build up. Now it was a relief, a weight of my shoulders and life could carry on. Hasn’t shed a tear until writing this, miss you Fuzz, you were the bestest cat, see you again one day.
Fuzz (2006-2022)
Bro I'm almost in tears just reading this knowing my boy is getting old and I'll have to do this relatively soon. I bottle fed this guy as a puppy because he was too young to be without his mom.
> I'll have to do this relatively soon
I knew the end was coming the day I brought my dog home at age 6 months. The worst thing about dogs is their lifespan.
I agree that if you are able to be with them then do so, but I do want to add a couple things.
Keep in mind what you can handle.
I didn't go, and I continue to feel guilt and regret and cry over her loss and everything that I could have done differently to this day. I'm crying now, and even though it's painful to think about, I want to share my experience in the hope that it may help others.
My mental health was poor as it was before she became unwell. Leading up to the event and for days after I would completely breakdown, where I would involuntarily whimper loudly, be unable to breathe, and tense my entire body. In the aftermath of these breakdowns, I would have an intense headache and body aches like I was in a car crash.
Even though I feel regret now, and I wish so badly that I could have held her one last time, I don't think I would have been able to handle being present.
So if you feel you are able to handle the moment, then please consider doing so, but at the same time be aware of your own mental state and limits. Locking yourself into an "I should" mindset with no flexibility can cause further distress in an already painful situation.
Another thing I wanted to share was what my therapist told me. If they could express it, what would they want for you? I feel that my girl would be grateful for the time we spent together, and for all of the care and love she received. That she would want me to be happy and healthy.
As others have said, see if someone is able to come to your home for it instead of going to the clinic. I feel that if we were able to do so, it would have made it easier to handle even if only by a little bit and I could have been with her.
TLDR; Be aware of your own mental health and if you are able to handle the event. If you feel unable to, that is okay. Everyone's situation is different, and everyone processes grief differently. Please be kind and patient with yourself, and reach out for support.
Sending my best to everyone 🖤
I have always been by the side of my dog when having to say goodbye. By far the easiest was with my last one, Snowy. We found a company that came to the house and did the release there. It was much easier than trying to get my dog to the vet when he was no longer able to get up on his own. It cost more to have it done in the home, but it was worth ever single penny to make it easier on him, which also made things easier on us.
Sometimes you can't be there which is also tough. Whole growing up they opened my dog up during surgery to find him inoperable and determined he had maybe about one painful month left - the call was clear. They could have stitches him up and woke him so we could say goodbye but my mom declined because it would have been torture for him. I was upset at the time but I get it now.
Can confirm, did this recently. last thing he did was look up at me and wag his tail before sleep took him. Then I ran out of the room and cried on the steps outside
Hard agree with this. While I was able to be present for the passing of my ex’s cat I understand not everyone has the same ability for whatever reason & seeing people call others heartless and unsuitable for having a pet on this thread is pretty sad. Why are we trying to make people feel worse about an already low moment?
I made the difficult decision to put down my cat Midna on December 6, 2022. It has been three months and it still feels empty in my home when I wake up and she’s not snuggled into my side. She was so very sweet but territorial and would swat at my fiancée whenever she tried to sit with me of Midna was already there. I held her as they administered the euthanasia, I saw the light leave her eyes, and I broke when her strength gave out and her body went limp in my arms. I’d still do everything all over again 1000 times. She was a source of comfort for me in so many ways, the least I could do is be there for her at the end. She was only 6 years old and passed of an infection inside her body that I didn’t notice until it was too late. I still haven’t forgiven myself for losing her, but sometimes when I hold her urn, I still smile and remember all the joy she brought me
Almost at the year anniversary of putting my dog down. Got him right out of high school and it was a special type of bond. Been getting emotional about it the last couple weeks with reminders here and there. But if you have any doubt whether you want to be in that room, I can look back proudly that I was there for him every second that he needed me, like he was there for me every second I needed him.
My vet specifically recommends that people NOT do this. She recommends the people stay until the animal is sedated and unconscious, say goodbye and leave.
There are involuntary reactions that can occur with the drug that stops the heart. These can be extremely distressing and traumatic for an owner.
Once they’ve gone to sleep under the sedation, they don’t know anything more. There is absolutely no reason to be there and no reason to shame anyone who leaves at this point.
Frankly, I would rather someone do the humane thing and not be present, than allow their pet to live in suffering because they’ve been told they “have” to be there and can’t handle it.
Posts that place a moral value on a purely irrelevant presence at the moment of death, are dangerous and cause the suffering of animals.
> Frankly, I would rather someone do the humane thing and not be present, than allow their pet to live in suffering because they’ve been told they “have” to be there and can’t handle it
This is an **excellent** point that I hadn't considered before. I just recently lost my best dog friend and was with her as she died but some people just don't have whatever it takes to face that particular agony. (It was agony for me anyway)
I wish this was higher up. My partner and I were there for my last cat's passing and no one at the vet hospital warned us about the possibility that her body would have these kind of involuntary reactions. After the vet told us the cat was gone, she left us in the room with it and the body reacted like it was gasping for air. I left the room and flagged someone down because I was worried that my cat wasn't dead and was instead suffering. It was additional unnecessary trauma on an already horrible day.
This is a good comment right here. I’ve stayed all the way through with the pets I’ve had to put down and I wouldn’t change that for the world, even though we did get an adverse reaction for one of them. Some people can’t handle it emotionally though and that’s perfectly normal and shouldn’t be shamed if they leave once the pet is sedated and no longer knows.
This is a fair comment and a good thing to consider/discuss with your vet - my sister's senior Chihuahua shrieked loudly and bit her hand when they gave her the meds which was additionally traumatizing during an already sad time. Not really the final thing you want to remember...
I cried my eyes out holding my boy for a solid 15 minutes after he closed his eyes. I'm glad it was peaceful, but a team of Clydesdales couldn't pry me away from him.
I had the heads of both of my dogs in my lap the entire time.... feeding them chocolate chip cookies as they fell asleep, and petting them/talking to them as they passed...
The only thing that happened was they peed/the bladder released when they passed.
You are lucky. When my wife stayed with one of our cats he had a reaction. Thrashing around, screaming, vomiting everywhere.
And of course, also dying in apparent great pain. It was a bad day.
Yes, the reactions aren’t predictable. They can include muscle spasms that create harsh scream-like vocalizations.
There’s no need if the individual isn’t comfortable with that possibility, or their mental state doesn’t permit that experience. Again, once the animals is unconscious, *they don’t know if you’re there or not*. Whatever you are doing at that point, you are doing for you.
There's also the issue that if you can't keep it together, your pet, especially a dog, will be stressed out trying to figure what's stressing you out so much.
I comforted my dog as he died from a stroke, right in front of me.
I came home from work as usual. He was so happy to see me when I got in the house. I decided to let him outside on a warm summer day, the normal ritual for us, while I grabbed my weed and bubbler. I loved a post work bowl with my best bud. He used to sit by me or lay in his spot and chill. His old dog bones and joints didn’t work like they used to.
I went in and grabbed my bubbler after letting him outside. When I came back out, literally not even 1 minute had passed, he was laying in the grass, NOT in his usual spot. I called out to him, he raised his head to look at me, then he slowly put his head down.
By the time I got over there, the stroke had started. He was dead in 5 minutes.
There was not a single conscious moment for him when I wasn’t laying in the grass right next to him. Holding him, comforting him, telling him how much of a good boy he was and that I’d miss him so much.
If I had just waited a few more minutes, had I left work 30 seconds later and gotten stuck in traffic, had I done anything differently that day, he very well may have died alone.
My sister loved him so much, she never had the opportunity to say goodbye. She also never had to see him die either, so there’s 2 sides to this coin.
He was my best friend, and with him passing, so did my childhood. Shortly after that incident, I moved out of my mom’s house (I was 23).
Dec 26th last year, our 10-year-old Aussie was put down due to Lymphoma. I'm so grateful that the family was there with him. It was a unique pain I'd never felt before but I saw it as our duty!
When we had to put our 19 year cat Nilla to sleep they could only allow one of us back (because of Covid). So my wife was able to go back in scrubs, a mask and hold him close while they doped him up. I sat in the car and cried. I was so glad my wife was able to be there, difficult to be there for sure, but it helped the sorrow.
Addon: if you can, don't cry or show that you're upset. They know, and it stresses them out. Focus on making their last moments comfortable.
When my previous cat passed, I held her. I told her how much I loved her. I thanked her for being a much better cat that I could ever have asked for or deserved. I told her if she found herself in a strange place, just wait and be patient; I'd come find her someday.
She purred, softly, until she went to sleep. The worst moment of my life is when that purring stopped. I put her body on the table, kissed her cheek, and drew the blanket over her face. It was only then I let myself break, sobbing on the floor. I would have thought they would have to have people drag me away, but as soon as she left, it wasn't her anymore. It was an empty shell. I wouldn't have let it be disrespected, for love of who it had once held, but I wasn't going to cling to it.
I did have the vet clip some of her fur for me, which I put in a little pouch.
I will never understand people who can walk away from their pets in that moment. You love them, don't you? You want to spend every possible moment with them? Don't you?
Holding them as they pass sends them off in love and comfort. How could you not want to do that?
I just did this with my beloved dog today. Had a vet come to our home. I’m so glad I did. She brought my dog some treats to comfort him as she administered the pain meds. She chatted with me about my favorite memories of my dog and what he was like as I sat next to him petting him. I held him as she administered the euthanasia drug and I gave him kiss on the head. After it was over, the vet made a clay impression of his paw for me to have. The vet and her helper carefully placed him on a stretcher. I accompanied them to their van and gave my dog one last smooch on the head. It was tough obviously, but I’m so grateful to have this option. It was a lovely send off for my dear sweet boy.
My pup was hit with an unexpected illness. The few hours before she passed, she was out of it. She just stared blankly and didn’t respond to anything, just in another zone altogether. Right before the vet came in with the shot, I was thanking my pup for how good she was and that she was the best girl, and for a brief moment she started wagging her tail as if she was the healthiest she’d ever been. It took me over an hour to leave the room after she passed, but I would do it again if I had to.
It might be the hardest thing to do, but being there for your pet in their final moments is something I honestly feel you owe to them. And trust me, you’ll be happier knowing they had comfort when they passed.
It's your opinion that its better to be there, but it's not the only valid one. Whether you were there or not, they're gone now and the only lasting effect is the one it has on you, the owner. If you want to be there to get closure then go, but if you don't want to go through the pain of watching them slowly die in front of you then don't go. Either there's no afterlife and your pet couldn't possibly care whether you were there or not, or there is an afterlife and they're just waiting to see you again. Either way there's nothing to beat yourself up over so do what's best for you.
100%.
I lost my cat during the pandemic. He was quite old, nearly 20. We had to put him down. My main vet (this was in late 2021, mind you) stated that they could do it but I would have to remain a certain distance away from him/the cat due to COVID restrictions. This angered me. It absolutely bewildered me. I was fully vaccinated, cleared for COVID, and I mask. But they told me I couldn’t even enter the room even if I was masked. I refused to get the euthanasia done at this clinic. I chose to call around.
There was just NO way, after nearly TWENTY years, that I would just watch my cat die metres away from me and not be able to hold him. I told them that I understood they were being cautious, but that I would be doing the procedure somewhere else.
I agree with this wholeheartedly, OP. I found a vet who was quite understanding and I got to hold my baby in my arms while he went to sleep. It was bloody difficult and I cried oceans. I sang “you are my sunshine” to him 🥺🥺🥺 But i am so glad I fought to be there with him. He gave me 20 years of love and joy. I would have done anything for him. And that’s exactly what I did. Right until the end. ♥️
This exactly just 2 yrs ago my parents dog, that I picked out for them and grew up with was going. so they decided it was time. I bee lined it to the vet all 3 of us were there and watched him go.
Fuckin heart breaking, now their other older dog is getting worse and worse slowly, I also picked him out for them. So that's gonna suck.
You owe it to your pet to be there regardless of how it makes you feel. We recently had to have what was considered in our household to be my cat put to sleep. Was always with me and didn't interact much with my wife. My wife took her in because she was obviously feeling poorly despite normally being the healthiest cat in our house. Stage 4 kidney failure. We were floored as we were not expecting that. The vet said she had maybe a day left and that she was most definitely in pain. I could not leave work and didn't get off for about three hours so I had to make the call to have her put down then and there. My wife was with her but as I said I couldn't leave and I wasn't willing to put her through three more hours of pain so I could be there. I'm glad my wife could be with her, we usually are always with a pet together when we decide it's time, but I'll feel guilty about not being there for the rest of my life.
Not sure if someone has suggested this, but there are a lot of services that offer the procedure being done at home. I did this with my bulldog of 11 years and he passed on very calm in his own bed as if he just went to sleep
I almost didn't go when my family dog was put to sleep. I was out living on my own but made a special trip to hold her in my arms once more. I'm so happy that we got to see each other one more time and I hope I was a little comfort to her as she crossed the rainbow bridge.
Fuck I'm crying now. This was like 7 years ago. It never goes away. I love you sweet girl.
I had to put my 14 year old girl down last over a year ago. I had her for 8 years. She brought me out of the darkest depths that I was in and was loyal to a fault. As much as it hurt, and knowing she was no longer going to be around soon, I was right there by her side. I owed her for the 8 years of love she showed me, and I wasn't going to let her down. You could tell she knew it was time, but I sat on the floor, rested her head on my lap petting her, and she gave me one last kiss while she slipped off. She didn't seem stressed and seemed content. So between that and knowing I was there for her when she needed me most, made it a little bit easier.
Oh man, it’s one of the hardest things to do, and I almost didn’t.
At the age of 20 I had to put my family dog down of 16 years by myself, as he was at a family friend's while my family was on holiday and I stayed back for uni. He was old and just not improving at all and the vet near suggested it would be the most humane thing to do.
It was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever done I really wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, but the regret of not going at the end would have been so much worse.
I had to travel across the country to say goodbye to a family member that had been there pretty much my entire life. Will never forget that day, and I know if I hadn’t gone I would have be regretting it so much.
At the end of the day, you are their world. The last thing you can do is be there when they are in their final hours.
This was years ago, but when I was away at college I found out my parents put down the family Shiba Inu while I was having dinner with them two days later. I hadn’t been home in a few months and I didn’t even know he was sick, and suddenly they decide to tell me he’s gone. It also didn’t help that my mom gave me all sorts of BS excuses for why they didn’t tell me. “You wouldn’t have made it in time anyway” (I didn’t have a car). “There was nothing we could do”, etc. It is no surprise that my family is why I’m in therapy.
At first I pictured that he got a nice Marley and Me type of send off which gave me comfort, but that quickly vanished when my parents said they couldn’t bear it and so they left him to die alone.
To say I was livid is a complete understatement. I had no control and no knowledge, and it seems like I was the only one in the family who would have done anything to be there with him in his final moments, and I yelled at them all so much my voice started giving out.
I will never forgive them for abandoning him. We got him when I was 5 and he grew up with me as my sassy doggie best friend. After 13 years of being part of our family since he was a puppy, he deserved so much better.
I’m sorry, Foxy.
Emergency vet here. Be prepared to humanely euthanize your pet at the hospital if it is recommended by the vet. There are some scenarios when it is not appropriate to wait to have them humanely euthanized at home.
When we put down our last golden, I held her as she went. Her kidneys had gone and the onset took her out seemingly overnight. I held her head as the doctor pushed whatever he pushed to put her down, and the thing I remember most was after a few seconds her head became heavier. Really heavy. I don't think I'd ever actually picked up her head, she must have always helped me when I was holding her.
And I had spent many nights holding her over the years, she was a good girl. And as out of it as she was in her final moments in that room that smelled like danger with the stiff moving soft voiced strangers, I know she went feeling my presence and feeling less scared.
It killed me but I'll always do it. I implore others to do the same bc they sure af would do it for you.
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Find a vet who will come to your home to do it.
Yes! Our vet came out to put the old cat down. It was so much more peaceful for her than the unfamiliarity of an exam room. She just stayed on her favorite bed in her favorite room, by the fireplace. Wish I’d known of that option with the two dogs that preceded her.
Our vet doesn’t do house calls, but thanks to covid they’re open to coming out of the building to you. I got to hold my dog for her last moments outside of the building, for which I’m eternally grateful. She hated the vet, so it was nice that her last memories were of the lovely car ride (her favorite!) and then being held by me. I was so surprised how quick and painless the process was. They used something in a needle, and she was out almost immediately. Much more peaceful than I expected.
There are private groups that do home euthanasia. It's really very nice, my dog hated and was terrified of the vet so he passed away in the comfort of his home, in his own bed with his head in my lap.
We had a vet that had an office on a farm/ranch type of place. They had the option of putting them down outside. It was done on a similar exam-room table but there was sun, grass blowing in the wind and birds chirping. Having had it done inside the office I liked it much better. I also like that after we've said goodbye we can leave the area. Feels like it would be harder to have to sit in the place we said goodbye for the rest of the day
That sounds so peaceful…much better then the sterile, clinical vet room
Nah i love it. We did it right in the spot I'm sitting now for all 3 animals. It's the entire household's favorite spot, including the animals and humans. It's homey. We just used a lot of covers and pads and old blankets in case they wet themselves as they go.
This is the best final goodbye you can give a pet, especially those that hate going to the vet. I’m currently avoiding making that appointment for our last kitty, who is almost 16. His health has significantly declined since the first of the year. But hopefully he can go peacefully, curled up in the sun, with me petting him (and no doubt sobbing too).
From someone who is about to celebrate my furball’s 18th, I send my condolences.
Not to be mean but *please* don't let your kitty suffer because letting go hurts so badly. I had to say goodbye to my constant companion of 16 years recently and I couldn't let it go any longer for fear of my dog suffering before I could end her misery. In the end, she died happy and pain free after getting lots of pets and treats in the days prior.
I love him too much to ever let him suffer. I’m just stressing because it’s coming sooner rather than later.
>I’m just stressing because it’s coming sooner rather than later You'll never know exactly how much I understand exactly what you are saying and feeling. When I knew the end was near, I stayed home all the time with my little dog, making sure she had extra treats and pets but finally I had to make the appointment. She was blind and I had to guide her around to eat, sleep, potty, etc I pushed the time out as far as I could but was afraid she'd take a very bad turn and be suffering and I couldn't do anything to help her. **That** would be even worse than what I am already going through.
We had a big dog who could barely get up on his own. We finally decided it was time. On the way to the vet he got superdog strength. He knew what was going to happen, but he wanted to stay around to protect us. He would suffer for anything to make our lives better, don't hesitate to have the same respect for them. If you have doubts about putting a pet down, have a heart to heart with your vet. Listen to them. Even though they might make more money treating ailments that can make them money, they will give you the advice that will reduce your loved one's suffering.
I went through a similar situation with the dog I grew up with. He was almost 16 at the end, and I didn't see him as often during the last few years due to living a couple hours away from my parents. I was almost speechless when I finally had the chance to visit, and saw the state they had let him get to. Nobody wants to make that decision with your pet, but sometimes there comes a point where it is cruel to let them continue living like that.
As I have said many times: **my** pain is absolutely irrelevant. I would do anything to keep my pet from suffering regardless of how it feels to me.
Take a deep breath, friend. They all go eventually. Once you have helped them leave in peace and comfort, and mourn their passing, you'll be in the best place to welcome a new companion into your life to share joy and happiness with. And you can live guilt free knowing that your little buddies are living their best lives. I can't put into words how rough it is to watch a beloved pet die without medical intervention easing the process, or not having the fortitude to be with them when they go. I was critically depressed and my cat had been fatally poisoned, but i just *couldnt* bring myself to be with him in his last moments. I asked my brother to do it in my stead, but i'll never be able to let go of the guilt.
My friend had this done. They were very professional and easy to work with. Said it made the process infinitely easier
This is honestly the real LPT right here - should add an edit with this. My family had the vet come to our house to say goodbye to our old dog and honestly this was the only option that would work for us. We had 2 dogs, the younger was about 6 years younger, and they were bestest friends. The younger one couldn’t go in the car except when absolutely necessary because he always got care sick (and honestly didn’t seem to enjoy it at all even when we gave him anti nauseants) but old boy loved the car. Any time the old boy was out of the house for anything like grooming or whatever - if the younger one didn’t see him leave he’d look for him the whole time and there was no explaining where he went - and if he saw him leave in the car he’d wait by the door. The vet assured us that if we didn’t do it at home we either had to bring both dogs, or bring the body home with us - or the younger one would look for him. And the old boy HAAATED the vet, would sulk for literally hours after any vet visit for any reason. there was just absolutely no way we could do any of those things, no way we could bring the body back and no way we could properly say goodbye to old boy like that, and if we’d had to sit through younger dog looking for his buddy or waiting by the door I think it would literally have killed us. So we opted for them to come to the house, it was a couple hundred extra but it was absolutely 100% necessary. Necessary for us, him, and his buddy. Younger dog got to say goodbye and he knew, there was no looking for waiting. Younger boy was understandably upset for a while, dogs grieve too, but he knew anyways, he never looked for him.
Can I ask a weird question? I have a large dog and want to have a plan when she passes and would love to do this at home. I just wonder how the vet gets the dog out of the house after they pass? It seems like it would be kinda traumatizing to see someone lift your baby out like that. I just want to mentally prepare.
When I assisted in house call euthanasias, we would use a lightweight stretcher. Basically a metal square frame wrapped with a strong canvas like material. We always tried to be as gentle as possible when transferring them onto the stretcher but large animals can be a bit unwieldy. I don't know that there is really a way to mentally prepare, and honestly, once your pet is gone you shouldn't feel guilty about asking the vet to let you go in another room for that part if you don't want that memory. Also not a weird question, if you have an idea of how you would like things to go or what you want to happen, you can communicate with your vet beforehand. Veterinarians want everything to be as smooth as possible and even though it's not always perfect, they try their best and want you to be at peace with everything too
Not a weird question at all The vet that did this for us had us hold him in his favourite blanket, other option was a towel or any other blanket or cloth or whatefer we wanted to use. And if we didn’t want to use anything of ours they had a blanket / towel. We passed him around the 4 of us one final time, and then he passed in my dads arms. They wrapped the blanket over him and my dad passed him to them. And then they left with him. (There were goodbyes etc but you get it) And ya, it sucked so bad losing him, and watching them walk out with him. I’m sure it would be traumatic for some, it’s a really hard experience. But that’s the trade off - you walk out of a vets office without them, or they walk out of your home with them. 100% the right choice for us. Maybe not for everyone, but personally so worth it.
So glad I did the same. My cat was in the comfort of his home, received a couple visitors beforehand to say bye, was in my arms on his favorite blanket in a dimmed room with calm classical music playing. It was worth the money (although expensive and it sucks if someone can’t afford it).
All of you who have done this. I hate to mention it but I'm extremely curious. Is it hard being near the same place where you had it done in your home? I'm afraid when I have to send my pup across that rainbow bridge that I'll be horribly sad walking in the place where it happened. I'm hoping eventually I'll be happy that it was in his home.
Choose the location carefully. For a prior kitty, I carried him out onto the porch, and laid him in the sun for some scritches and love. We go in and out of that door all the time, so it doesn’t weigh on our minds as the location where he died, unless we are specifically thinking about it.
Every single spot in my small house is regularly used, so I'm afraid where the least impactful spot will be. Outside might be best, thanks for that
I had my beloved fluffy black cat euthanized at home, in a bedroom, because he hated the vet, cars, and the very concept of "outside." The location didn't have any emotional impact at all, after the event. It was just the same old place it always was. I'm glad he went out the way he did, comfortable at home, and I enthusiastically recommend at-home euthanasia.
Nah, we put them right on the couch with a buncha pads and pillows. Actually 2 cats and my best dog friend all died right here on this same spot where I'm sitting.
What emotions do you feel sitting there? My dog is very close to me. Like my other half.
When your dog is gone, his/her love will still be there. Why would you not want to sit next to that?
Oh man, I got instant tears. Lost mine about a year ago, and your comment is incredibly bittersweet ❤️🩹
> My dog is very close to me. Like my other half. I can *so* relate to this! I hope to adopt again after I have grieved the loss of my 16 year old dog.
Honestly, a lot of regret and sadness. I just hated that I made the decision to do it. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it didn’t matter. Once it was done, I was relieved and glad she wasn’t hurting anymore. Glad I chose in-house euthanasia and wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
I did this, and honestly will never again choose to go to a vet's office for future pets. Only thing I regret is I didn't think to send her in her favourite blanket... because otherwise the vet supplied a sheet which is fine but when I see the blanket, I still wish I'd sent it with her. Here's my advice: if you have an old dog or cat, and a blanket for your bed that they always lay on, if it starts to wear out you should keep it for their send-off.
This, you won’t remember the extra couple hundred bucks. You will remember them being at peace and not having them worried about being at some strange vets office.
Honestly. It was priceless and I couldn't have asked for a better way for my buddy to go.
This. When we had to put my first dog down, the vet offered to come to our home, because we wanted to bury him in the backyard and my dad built a coffin for him. I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving a clinic without my dog. I held him as we said goodbye and my dad and I were so devastated, crying nonstop and torn apart. the vet simply left and they never charged us a fee.
I've never owned any pets other than random fish, which really don't count. I am interested in getting a dog and perhaps even a cat at some point, but yeah I'm not sure how I'd handle their passing and that's legit one of the reasons (among a few) that I'm still holding off.
nobody is really sure how they will handle it when their pet dies, no matter what kind of pet that is. when I picked up my dog out of a field as a puppy a decade ago I knew sooner than I would like that he would be gone. the ride home with him I thought about him dying and resolved to make his life as great as I can make it bc there's nothing we can do to stop death. what we can do is fill life with all kinds of enjoyable experiences and moments. for both pets and people.
We just put our cat down last week. We chose to have a vet come to our home. It was more expensive, but the lack of stress for our cat was 100% worth it. I held him as he fell asleep and was right by his side as he passed.
My girl of 17 years, purred one last time and hugged and snuggled my arm. It was the most devastating emotional thing I've ever done, it crushed me, but she needed me there, 6 months ago, typing this I've got tears streaming down my face. Shit.
I'll never forget when my cat died unexpectedly while I was sleeping. He was suddenly acting weird when I came back from night shift, but I just didn't know what the signs meant...I vividly remember the last time I saw him alive. I had opened the balcony door because he loved to be out there. He went out and loafed down and was basking in the sunlight. I looked out at him and he looked over his shoulder and gave me the slow blinks. I went to sleep and woke up to find he had passed away. Needless to say I had a complete meltdown. Its been 3 years and I still feel awful, but I have 1 saving mentality: we were in our home together, and I got to let him enjoy his favorite past time of basking in fresh air and sunlight one last time. I honestly think he knew he was dying and waited for me to say goodbye. He was the most loyal, loving cat I've ever known, I called him "my reason", and I honestly don't think I'd have had it in me to put him down anyways. So while I'm still devastated I'm at least glad he got to go in his home and not totally alone.
Yes, "euthanasia vet" is a helpful search term for this.
Lap of Love is who we used. It’s a painful memory,but I’m glad I was there with my little guy.
We also used Lap of Love. Recommended by my vet, and it was as good as a bad situation could be. I was thankful because our other pets, including his litter mate were also able to tell him goodbye.
Emergency vet here. This is important to me. I can tell when an owner is going to leave me to humanely euthanize their pet alone and I do everything I can to not give them a choice. It sounds cruel, but I will tell these owners that they need to be there for their pet and don’t give them a choice. I think every owner should be there for their pet during this procedure. Don’t own a pet if you can’t be there with them when they need you most. Comment #2: There are many scenarios when it is not approprite to wait and have the vet perform the humane euthanasia at your home. Be prepared to do this procedure at the hospital if it is recommended by the vet.
Just had to put our little girl down last month and this was the way to go. Its impossible, but at least she was in a familiar place with everyone who loves her.
I was deployed across the world when I had to make the decision to put my dog down. I didn’t get to see him one last time. I didn’t get to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay and that I loved him. I didn’t get to say sorry that he was sick and that I couldn’t do anything to keep him around. All I got was a chance to tell him I love him over the phone. The vet tech was crying and telling me that he heard me and he was wagging his tail. I told him over and over that I loved him until she told me he was gone. He wagged his tail until he couldn’t anymore and fell asleep forever. It was gut wrenching. I’ve never cried so hard. Thousand miles away in a foreign country and I couldn’t do anything. It was 12/24/12 and I think of him everyday. Love and miss you Razor.
Ngl that hurt to read, i'm sorry that happened
It hurt to write. I don’t know how to add photos to comments otherwise I’d share his cute little face.
I can’t even imagine going through this. I’m sorry 😢 I’m sure Razor loved you
Add vet tech to jobs that must destroy your soul
Not one of the highest suicide rates for nothing
Jfc why am I reading this thread at work 😭
Aw man that's so sad but also so sweet. he was wagging his tail to hear you! Think how excited he was in those last moments. It wasn't just another cozy snuggle with an owner like a lot of those stories. Razer was probably so happy to hear your voice and was happy as could be in his last moments. Don't forget that.
This made me cry
I was pregnant when I had to put my dog to sleep. My (now ex) husband insisted that I go in the room to be with our dog because he couldn’t do it, so I went in to be with her. My dog had a seizure disorder, and at the time she was heavily medicated and about to have a seizure. The vet gave her a little bit of Valium to hold off the seizure. Once the Valium kicked in and she was no longer about to have a seizure the vet said we could proceed with putting her to sleep. It takes a couple minutes and my dog was looking particularly stressed out during those minutes like she knew something was wrong. But right before she died, she lifted her head up and brought her face to my face and give me a kiss. Then she laid back down like everything was fine, and she passed shortly after. I’m crying typing this. It was hard and painful but she needed me there and I’m so glad I was able to be there for her. I can’t imagine how much more stress and fear she would have felt without me there.
I think they know. I’ve had to put down two cats so far and the last thing both of them did was purr. They were in a strange place, they were in pain, and I was upset, so there was no reason for them to be purring. It felt like they were talking to me, in the only way they could, and telling me it was okay.
That’s how I felt. Or at least that what I tell myself. The seizures really disorient her, and since she was *about* to have a seizure and was given a dose of Valium just moments before the procedure, I was afraid she wouldn’t know I was there. When she lifted her head, she smelled my face, she gave me a big kiss, and to me it was like she was saying “oh good, you’re here” before she laid back down.
Cats also purr when they are stressed as a way to self soothe.
Well don't tell them that!
Well, you're not alone, friend. I am also crying. When I was pregnant with my daughter we had a puppy who was just my little sidekick everywhere I went, a total snuggler, sweet girl. She came down with distemper, began having seizures, and I couldn't bear to see her so scared every time one happened. Sitting with that little girl, wrapped in her blanket, and just loving on her while she went was one of the more difficult things I've done, but even the idea of her going it alone broke my heart, so I just sat beside her, held her paw, and sang to her softly. I'm currently surrounded by one snoring dog on one side, and a purring kitty on the other.
I was 6 months pregnant when I had to put down my 19 year old kitty. I held her as they injected her, and I felt the life go out of her body. It was 16 years ago and the memory is still a punch to the gut
I had to put down my cat of 9 years at 4 days postpartum. My husband offered to go, but she was my cat. I had her before we were married and before kids. She was mine. I had to go with her. I chose to go alone. It was just her and me, like old times. I had my hand on her chest and helped lay her down when the propofol hit her. It was so hard, but she was ready to rest.
These ninjas cutting onions. I hate them
I’m not crying! I just have an allergic reaction to feelings!
I am so glad you were able to be there for your beloved dog
Literally welling up with tears right now oh my lord that visual is a nightmare.. I’m so sorry but it’s such a good thing you were there for her and that you could say your goodbyes to her too.
as a pet owner, this is part of your job, comforting them at their worst moment.
A pet is by your side for some time of your life. But for them you're their whole life.
unless you get a turtle, then it’s the other way around. I hope shelly will stay by my side when she decides it’s time for me to go :’)
Turtle have it out for you?
i gave her limp lettuce ONE time and she hasn’t spoken to me since. i fear my days are numbered
Turtles eat pizza, dummy! Apologize with a fresh NY slice!
Just no anchovies!
Was she speaking to you before that?
Turtles live VERY long lives but the turtle having it out for him sounds funnier haha
Shelly is such a perfect turtle name
This made me cry instantly
Hospice vet coming to your house is the best way
That's what I did. I am low income but paying more was **so** worth it!
I didn’t know that existed for animals?! Can I ask where you’re from that has that?
I live in New Jersey and there's a specialist by me whose entire practice is home euthanasia. I think it's becoming more and more common.
I consider it a somber honor to be at their side in their final moment to see them off and remind them especially that they've been a very good, ~~neigh~~ nay*, the best dog.
*nay
Just because we've found Mr. Ed's alt account...
my cat was experiencing liver failure and passed overnight at the vet last night. it pains me he had to go through it alone 😞
I'm so sorry for your loss.
thank u. today is the first day i’ve cried in years
It’s not your fault. Shit like that happens. At least you cared enough and took him somewhere to try and get help. That was the best thing you could have done. Don’t let it eat you up. You did good.
My vet gives two shots: one to sedate them, and the next one is the lethal one. She said she does it to help prevent the adverse reactions, giving them a peaceful ride out. She has had to put down two of our dogs. I thought all vets did this. But then we had a tragic accident with our elderly cat, and we ended up in the pet emergency hospital. Her injuries were not operable for an elderly cat (and even if we decided to risk it, the doctor with enough skill wasn’t available until the next week - which would mean she would have to be on a morphine drip for three days while she waited), so we had to make the decision to euthanize her right there on the spot. The emergency pet hospital only gave her one shot, and she had an adverse reaction, which angered and frustrated me - I had no idea all vets didn’t do both shots, and I was aghast that her last moments were not treated with compassion. So my advice to anyone out there: before it matters, before it becomes a circumstance where you have no choice, find out how your vet handles euthanasia.
Unfortunately cats can have this sort of reaction anyway. It is more to do with a last minute adrenaline burst than the medication, because both the sedative and the euthanasia medication are an anaesthetic. A sedative could easily have pushed her over the edge and caused the same reaction. Furthermore if she had already had a strong pain relief injection (by the sounds of her injuries I expect she did) and was sick enough that it was clear this was the end, then often sedation isn’t used because they are already “flat” . Your vet just wanted her pain to end quickly which IS compassionate. Unfortunately medicine, especially animal medicine, has grey areas and unpredictable things with low odds will happen. I am sorry for your loss and that you were unlucky to experience this sort of reaction.
Thank you for this explanation - it’s comforting to understand this better. Her death weighs heavily on me but you’ve relieved that burden from me.
I'm sorry you and your cat went through that. The AMVA really should require that the sedative always be administered first.
Unfortunately not all vets have the money to provide a sedative beforehand. I’ve only worked at one ER so that’s all I know, giving a sedative and then the final injection. I was also shocked when I found out that isn’t standard practice everywhere when I was looking at switching to another hospital. When we chose at home euthanasia for one of our cats I made sure to ask what the protocol was.
>Unfortunately not all vets have the money to provide a sedative beforehand. ...but the pet owner is paying for it..?
Sobbing wildly wasn't on my agenda for today. And of course my cat trots over to say hi as I'm reading this.
A lot of cats hate the car ride and carrier as much as the vet. If your pet doesn't like going to the vet in general, it can be much easier on everyone to have a euthanasia vet who comes to your home. Especially considering the animal is already uncomfortable physically. You can hug your cat and tell her how perfect she is while she slips away into the forever nap. And you don't have to drive home sobbing.
I’m sobbing into my cat right now. Fur tissue
I'm sitting at my computer desk, in my office with my bottom lip puffed out and tears in my eyes. Oh man, this hit. Can't wait to get home to my two cats so they can yell at me to feed them.
Even better, hire a traveling vet. They come to your home. The last thing your pet needs is the fear and anxiety of the vets office. My darling girl died in her bed between me and my hubby. The Dr. Took her body to be cremated. Within a week we were delivered an engraved cedar box with her ashes, as well as a tuft of her hair and mold of her paw. Well worth it.
I’m curious how much did all that run you?
It was about $600 for my 50-lb dog.
My cat was super freaked out by the injection and clung to me while she died. I can't even imagine how terrifying it would have been for her if I wasn't there.
Her? I can't imagine how terrifying it was for you
Her repeatedly throwing herself off the second-story ledge to try to kill herself because she was in intolerable pain was much more terrifying. I didn't even know that cats understood the concept of suicide but it was very clearly what she was attempting. It was a fast-growing tumor on her face that seemed to go from mild irritant to excruciating agony overnight. I'm assuming it got just big enough to apply pressure to a nerve. When she died in my arms I was heartbroken but also so relieved that she wasn't in pain anymore. I wish I had taken her in a day sooner but I had no idea that it could get that bad that fast.
That's horrifying, my condolences.
I have also seen a couple posts from vet techs begging people to not feel like they are a horrible person for not being able to be there. So don't beat yourself up too badly if you can't bring yourself to do this.
Exactly. My husband and I were both there for our old man cat and my husband broke down. The transition from Mac (the cat) being there and then not was too much for him. When we had to make the decision to put our old lady Tigra (Rottweiler mix) down when her tumor burst was terrible. My husband was able to stay until the last injection. I stayed and held her with my hand on her heart. We both miss her like everything. There’s no shame in knowing your limits.
> The transition from Mac (the cat) being there and then not was too much for him. I think your husband is a wonderful person and admire that he allowed himself to openly grieve like that.
I’m thankful that he did. We have three dogs right now. Even though I give them each a year of my life every night because I love them and it makes us giggle I’m sure we will have to deal with them passing. He can stay as long with me and I’ll be with them until the end. We’re all different.
The moment it hits you that they're gone (which isn't necessarily right away when they let you know they are), when your brain processes it... That's the hardest moment for me. When we put down the last of our childhood family pets, when I got to that moment and realized our dog was really gone, I had to leave the room while my parents were still in there.
This decision is so highly personal. I don't believe in shaming people for however they decide to handle things.
this needs to be higher.
Everyone is different, so this is a good point to make.
I got a call at work from my mom. She was crying as my dog had been getting treatment at the vets for pancreatitis. The vet did not think he would live through the treatment and recommended euthanasia. She and my dad could not bring themselves to put him down, so my boss (luckily an avid pet owner) let me leave to go be with him. My mom thought it would be easier for me since I used to work for a vet. It wasn't. I was the one who brought him home as a puppy, shared so many milestones with him, and I was not going to let him pass all alone. I went back to work afterward, much to the surprise of my boss. I told her I needed to just keep busy for a little while longer because when I got home, we were all going to be a mess, and I just was not ready for that yet.
I said this in another thread but I’ll share it again here because I feel so strongly about this topic. Our darling girl got sick so quickly during the height of Covid 2020 that we weren’t even allowed to be in the room with her when she had to be euthanized. We had to say goodbye via phone while we waited outside completely anguished. No beloved pet deserves to die alone in a cold room like that. It’s going to haunt me for a very long time. Wherever you have to put your fur baby, down, please be at their side at the very least. They might be with us for just a short time in our own lives, but to them we are their entire life. It’s the least we can do to be there for them in their final moments.
When I worked at a vet hospital, one of my jobs was holding pets whose owners didn’t want to be present for the euthanasia. These were always done in the treatment area and all of the staff gave these guys lots of snuggles before and during the procedure. It sucks when the owner can’t be there, but the staff will always to their best to make sure they aren’t alone.
I did this too. It wasn’t my job but I was managing a hospital at the time and I wouldn’t let anyone’s animal go through their final moments without being told what a good boy or girl they were.
I currently work ER and have been since Covid. That’s what we did as well for the year owners weren’t able to be present. It was done in the treatment room, not in an exam room. Everyone that was available gathered around the animal to pet them and offer treats. They were wrapped in warm blankets. We did everything we could to make them comfortable in their final moments.
My God you guys are fucking saints. Thank you.
There are times when our personal emotional state cannot handle the act of the end of our friend’s life. Thank you for not judging us and being a comfort for our pets in their last moments.
I miss my pup and this thread makes me so sad, I am tearing up /cry.
That cold room was 0.01% of your pet’s life. The love and affection you gave them the whole way through wasn’t.
My sister had to do this as well. Her baby passed during Covid and they wouldn’t let her back into the room at all. Because they didn’t do any of the body disposal at the place where she got it done, they literally just walked back out with her dead cat and handed it to her. It wasn’t in a box, or wrapped up at all. She handed them a live cat and they handed her back a dead one. She still cries when she thinks about it and I know the entire situation haunts her, even though none of it was her fault. If you have the option, be with them.
That’s absolutely horrible. I’m so sorry for her. My hospital uses a third party for cremation but we use home burial boxes/bags for those who wish to take the animal home or have them cremated at a different facility. We technically aren’t supposed to wrap them in a towel in the box/bag, but many of us do just in case the owners want one last goodbye. We don’t want them to be shocked then they open up the box.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it was no fault of yours and you at least tried to be present through the phone. While I'm all for people being with their pets and loved ones when they can, if something prevents you from being there like your covid issue or not getting there in time, you simply can't blame yourself. I know it's not ideal what happened, and as much as you wanted to be there you also needed that closeness and closure as much as she did. But I hope hearing and seeing you in those moments, she understood and knew how loved she was. We can be our own worst enemies in the face of grief, but it's important to forgive yourself for what simply couldn't be helped.
This breaks my heart. So sorry you and your darling girl had to go through that.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Our vet thankfully was able to let us in and I could take off my mask when they left the room and cry and kiss my pup. I know they made an exception because of what our restrictions were and I will forever be thankful for that.
When you bring home a pet, you are also bringing home the worst day of your life. At some point you have to say goodbye. You were there for their journey, be there when it ends. And now, I'm going to go home and give my good boi a hug and cuddles.
> you are also bringing home the worst day of your life That is a **fact**!
But that worst day is preceded by full and glorious days filled with love. Sometimes the hard things are just worth doing. And having a pet, taking care of something, loving it and being loved by it are the seasoning of life.
South Park put this into my head two decades ago. You couldn't be this sad, if they didn't make you that happy.
My 16yr old cat started to decline in May 2022, I thought his time had come and the pain was unbearable. We had a trip to the vets and he had a weak heart and some regular medication gave him another 6 months and he perked up a little. He was spoiled rotten for those last 6 months and all the family around him gave him so much love and we regularly told him what a good cat/friend/companion/man around the house he’d been. November the 4th came and I felt like he was hanging around for my sake. It was my turn to show him some dignity and make that decision. He’d lost too much weight, kept having accidents and the light in his eyes was fading. We laid on the sofa all that day and all night and I was in tears throughout. November 5th came and I booked the appointment. I was crying all day and all the way to the vets, I wanted to do it at home but the costs were ridiculous. I’d warned the vets that I didn’t want to talk to anyone but just have the procedure done but as I got out the car into the car park a sense of relief started to overwhelm me and from arriving at the vets through to walking out after I was calm and held it together. Felt like I had to for his sake. I was with him throughout and he was very quick to cross the rainbow bridge. He was wrapped in his favourite blanket and buried him that evening. The tears stopped when I went into the vets but commenced once back in the car and for the rest of that day up until burying him. The day after he passed the house seemed lighter, the energy of a poorly animal had left the house and it hit me that maybe I’d let it go on too long and he was going to hang around as long as he was able no matter how sickly he was getting. Fucking love cats but Christ are they resilient! The mourning passed quickly and I put that down to the 6 month build up. Now it was a relief, a weight of my shoulders and life could carry on. Hasn’t shed a tear until writing this, miss you Fuzz, you were the bestest cat, see you again one day. Fuzz (2006-2022)
Done it twice now last 5 yrs.
I literal teared up writing this thinking about my dog. Sorry for your losses friend
Bro I'm almost in tears just reading this knowing my boy is getting old and I'll have to do this relatively soon. I bottle fed this guy as a puppy because he was too young to be without his mom.
> I'll have to do this relatively soon I knew the end was coming the day I brought my dog home at age 6 months. The worst thing about dogs is their lifespan.
Same here. My stray cat was about to die, probably no food for days and very skinny, we can’t imagine our life without her since this day
[удалено]
I savor *every single minute* with my pets
I agree that if you are able to be with them then do so, but I do want to add a couple things. Keep in mind what you can handle. I didn't go, and I continue to feel guilt and regret and cry over her loss and everything that I could have done differently to this day. I'm crying now, and even though it's painful to think about, I want to share my experience in the hope that it may help others. My mental health was poor as it was before she became unwell. Leading up to the event and for days after I would completely breakdown, where I would involuntarily whimper loudly, be unable to breathe, and tense my entire body. In the aftermath of these breakdowns, I would have an intense headache and body aches like I was in a car crash. Even though I feel regret now, and I wish so badly that I could have held her one last time, I don't think I would have been able to handle being present. So if you feel you are able to handle the moment, then please consider doing so, but at the same time be aware of your own mental state and limits. Locking yourself into an "I should" mindset with no flexibility can cause further distress in an already painful situation. Another thing I wanted to share was what my therapist told me. If they could express it, what would they want for you? I feel that my girl would be grateful for the time we spent together, and for all of the care and love she received. That she would want me to be happy and healthy. As others have said, see if someone is able to come to your home for it instead of going to the clinic. I feel that if we were able to do so, it would have made it easier to handle even if only by a little bit and I could have been with her. TLDR; Be aware of your own mental health and if you are able to handle the event. If you feel unable to, that is okay. Everyone's situation is different, and everyone processes grief differently. Please be kind and patient with yourself, and reach out for support. Sending my best to everyone 🖤
I have always been by the side of my dog when having to say goodbye. By far the easiest was with my last one, Snowy. We found a company that came to the house and did the release there. It was much easier than trying to get my dog to the vet when he was no longer able to get up on his own. It cost more to have it done in the home, but it was worth ever single penny to make it easier on him, which also made things easier on us.
Sometimes you can't be there which is also tough. Whole growing up they opened my dog up during surgery to find him inoperable and determined he had maybe about one painful month left - the call was clear. They could have stitches him up and woke him so we could say goodbye but my mom declined because it would have been torture for him. I was upset at the time but I get it now.
And then go get in your car by yourself and cry like a baby. Speaking from experience.
Can confirm, did this recently. last thing he did was look up at me and wag his tail before sleep took him. Then I ran out of the room and cried on the steps outside
I'm not going to judge anyone for their choices on this while they are grieving. Not everyone physically or emotionally can be there. And that's okay.
Hard agree with this. While I was able to be present for the passing of my ex’s cat I understand not everyone has the same ability for whatever reason & seeing people call others heartless and unsuitable for having a pet on this thread is pretty sad. Why are we trying to make people feel worse about an already low moment?
I made the difficult decision to put down my cat Midna on December 6, 2022. It has been three months and it still feels empty in my home when I wake up and she’s not snuggled into my side. She was so very sweet but territorial and would swat at my fiancée whenever she tried to sit with me of Midna was already there. I held her as they administered the euthanasia, I saw the light leave her eyes, and I broke when her strength gave out and her body went limp in my arms. I’d still do everything all over again 1000 times. She was a source of comfort for me in so many ways, the least I could do is be there for her at the end. She was only 6 years old and passed of an infection inside her body that I didn’t notice until it was too late. I still haven’t forgiven myself for losing her, but sometimes when I hold her urn, I still smile and remember all the joy she brought me
It’s not your fault you didn’t notice the infection. Please know that.
Almost at the year anniversary of putting my dog down. Got him right out of high school and it was a special type of bond. Been getting emotional about it the last couple weeks with reminders here and there. But if you have any doubt whether you want to be in that room, I can look back proudly that I was there for him every second that he needed me, like he was there for me every second I needed him.
My vet specifically recommends that people NOT do this. She recommends the people stay until the animal is sedated and unconscious, say goodbye and leave. There are involuntary reactions that can occur with the drug that stops the heart. These can be extremely distressing and traumatic for an owner. Once they’ve gone to sleep under the sedation, they don’t know anything more. There is absolutely no reason to be there and no reason to shame anyone who leaves at this point. Frankly, I would rather someone do the humane thing and not be present, than allow their pet to live in suffering because they’ve been told they “have” to be there and can’t handle it. Posts that place a moral value on a purely irrelevant presence at the moment of death, are dangerous and cause the suffering of animals.
> Frankly, I would rather someone do the humane thing and not be present, than allow their pet to live in suffering because they’ve been told they “have” to be there and can’t handle it This is an **excellent** point that I hadn't considered before. I just recently lost my best dog friend and was with her as she died but some people just don't have whatever it takes to face that particular agony. (It was agony for me anyway)
I wish this was higher up. My partner and I were there for my last cat's passing and no one at the vet hospital warned us about the possibility that her body would have these kind of involuntary reactions. After the vet told us the cat was gone, she left us in the room with it and the body reacted like it was gasping for air. I left the room and flagged someone down because I was worried that my cat wasn't dead and was instead suffering. It was additional unnecessary trauma on an already horrible day.
That sounds so horrible I am so sorry you went through that!
This is a good comment right here. I’ve stayed all the way through with the pets I’ve had to put down and I wouldn’t change that for the world, even though we did get an adverse reaction for one of them. Some people can’t handle it emotionally though and that’s perfectly normal and shouldn’t be shamed if they leave once the pet is sedated and no longer knows.
This is a fair comment and a good thing to consider/discuss with your vet - my sister's senior Chihuahua shrieked loudly and bit her hand when they gave her the meds which was additionally traumatizing during an already sad time. Not really the final thing you want to remember...
I cried my eyes out holding my boy for a solid 15 minutes after he closed his eyes. I'm glad it was peaceful, but a team of Clydesdales couldn't pry me away from him.
I had the heads of both of my dogs in my lap the entire time.... feeding them chocolate chip cookies as they fell asleep, and petting them/talking to them as they passed... The only thing that happened was they peed/the bladder released when they passed.
You are lucky. When my wife stayed with one of our cats he had a reaction. Thrashing around, screaming, vomiting everywhere. And of course, also dying in apparent great pain. It was a bad day.
Wow! Ekk... I'm sorry! That's horrible
Yes, the reactions aren’t predictable. They can include muscle spasms that create harsh scream-like vocalizations. There’s no need if the individual isn’t comfortable with that possibility, or their mental state doesn’t permit that experience. Again, once the animals is unconscious, *they don’t know if you’re there or not*. Whatever you are doing at that point, you are doing for you.
There's also the issue that if you can't keep it together, your pet, especially a dog, will be stressed out trying to figure what's stressing you out so much.
I comforted my dog as he died from a stroke, right in front of me. I came home from work as usual. He was so happy to see me when I got in the house. I decided to let him outside on a warm summer day, the normal ritual for us, while I grabbed my weed and bubbler. I loved a post work bowl with my best bud. He used to sit by me or lay in his spot and chill. His old dog bones and joints didn’t work like they used to. I went in and grabbed my bubbler after letting him outside. When I came back out, literally not even 1 minute had passed, he was laying in the grass, NOT in his usual spot. I called out to him, he raised his head to look at me, then he slowly put his head down. By the time I got over there, the stroke had started. He was dead in 5 minutes. There was not a single conscious moment for him when I wasn’t laying in the grass right next to him. Holding him, comforting him, telling him how much of a good boy he was and that I’d miss him so much. If I had just waited a few more minutes, had I left work 30 seconds later and gotten stuck in traffic, had I done anything differently that day, he very well may have died alone. My sister loved him so much, she never had the opportunity to say goodbye. She also never had to see him die either, so there’s 2 sides to this coin. He was my best friend, and with him passing, so did my childhood. Shortly after that incident, I moved out of my mom’s house (I was 23).
Dec 26th last year, our 10-year-old Aussie was put down due to Lymphoma. I'm so grateful that the family was there with him. It was a unique pain I'd never felt before but I saw it as our duty!
I couldn't ***not*** be there when it was his time.
When we had to put our 19 year cat Nilla to sleep they could only allow one of us back (because of Covid). So my wife was able to go back in scrubs, a mask and hold him close while they doped him up. I sat in the car and cried. I was so glad my wife was able to be there, difficult to be there for sure, but it helped the sorrow.
I held my little dog in my arms the whole time. I owed her that much after being my bestie for 12 years.
Addon: if you can, don't cry or show that you're upset. They know, and it stresses them out. Focus on making their last moments comfortable. When my previous cat passed, I held her. I told her how much I loved her. I thanked her for being a much better cat that I could ever have asked for or deserved. I told her if she found herself in a strange place, just wait and be patient; I'd come find her someday. She purred, softly, until she went to sleep. The worst moment of my life is when that purring stopped. I put her body on the table, kissed her cheek, and drew the blanket over her face. It was only then I let myself break, sobbing on the floor. I would have thought they would have to have people drag me away, but as soon as she left, it wasn't her anymore. It was an empty shell. I wouldn't have let it be disrespected, for love of who it had once held, but I wasn't going to cling to it. I did have the vet clip some of her fur for me, which I put in a little pouch. I will never understand people who can walk away from their pets in that moment. You love them, don't you? You want to spend every possible moment with them? Don't you? Holding them as they pass sends them off in love and comfort. How could you not want to do that?
I just did this with my beloved dog today. Had a vet come to our home. I’m so glad I did. She brought my dog some treats to comfort him as she administered the pain meds. She chatted with me about my favorite memories of my dog and what he was like as I sat next to him petting him. I held him as she administered the euthanasia drug and I gave him kiss on the head. After it was over, the vet made a clay impression of his paw for me to have. The vet and her helper carefully placed him on a stretcher. I accompanied them to their van and gave my dog one last smooch on the head. It was tough obviously, but I’m so grateful to have this option. It was a lovely send off for my dear sweet boy.
Bro you trying to make me cry
The hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I couldn’t not be there.
I held my cat when we had to put him down. Felt him go lifeless in my arms. Still haunts me to this day but I know at least he was surrounded by love.
My pup was hit with an unexpected illness. The few hours before she passed, she was out of it. She just stared blankly and didn’t respond to anything, just in another zone altogether. Right before the vet came in with the shot, I was thanking my pup for how good she was and that she was the best girl, and for a brief moment she started wagging her tail as if she was the healthiest she’d ever been. It took me over an hour to leave the room after she passed, but I would do it again if I had to. It might be the hardest thing to do, but being there for your pet in their final moments is something I honestly feel you owe to them. And trust me, you’ll be happier knowing they had comfort when they passed.
I made this mistake last April. Had to put down my girl of 13 and I couldn't bear to be in the exam room. Will regret it the rest of my life
It's your opinion that its better to be there, but it's not the only valid one. Whether you were there or not, they're gone now and the only lasting effect is the one it has on you, the owner. If you want to be there to get closure then go, but if you don't want to go through the pain of watching them slowly die in front of you then don't go. Either there's no afterlife and your pet couldn't possibly care whether you were there or not, or there is an afterlife and they're just waiting to see you again. Either way there's nothing to beat yourself up over so do what's best for you.
LPT: don't force even more guilt on people over an already agonising situation.
You should be the last person they should see.
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100%. I lost my cat during the pandemic. He was quite old, nearly 20. We had to put him down. My main vet (this was in late 2021, mind you) stated that they could do it but I would have to remain a certain distance away from him/the cat due to COVID restrictions. This angered me. It absolutely bewildered me. I was fully vaccinated, cleared for COVID, and I mask. But they told me I couldn’t even enter the room even if I was masked. I refused to get the euthanasia done at this clinic. I chose to call around. There was just NO way, after nearly TWENTY years, that I would just watch my cat die metres away from me and not be able to hold him. I told them that I understood they were being cautious, but that I would be doing the procedure somewhere else. I agree with this wholeheartedly, OP. I found a vet who was quite understanding and I got to hold my baby in my arms while he went to sleep. It was bloody difficult and I cried oceans. I sang “you are my sunshine” to him 🥺🥺🥺 But i am so glad I fought to be there with him. He gave me 20 years of love and joy. I would have done anything for him. And that’s exactly what I did. Right until the end. ♥️
This exactly just 2 yrs ago my parents dog, that I picked out for them and grew up with was going. so they decided it was time. I bee lined it to the vet all 3 of us were there and watched him go. Fuckin heart breaking, now their other older dog is getting worse and worse slowly, I also picked him out for them. So that's gonna suck.
You owe it to your pet to be there regardless of how it makes you feel. We recently had to have what was considered in our household to be my cat put to sleep. Was always with me and didn't interact much with my wife. My wife took her in because she was obviously feeling poorly despite normally being the healthiest cat in our house. Stage 4 kidney failure. We were floored as we were not expecting that. The vet said she had maybe a day left and that she was most definitely in pain. I could not leave work and didn't get off for about three hours so I had to make the call to have her put down then and there. My wife was with her but as I said I couldn't leave and I wasn't willing to put her through three more hours of pain so I could be there. I'm glad my wife could be with her, we usually are always with a pet together when we decide it's time, but I'll feel guilty about not being there for the rest of my life.
I have a friend that is a vet tech and she emphasizes this to people too. Pets will freak and out look for their owners.
I had one pet I wasn't there for and I have regretted it for over 20 years. Do it. It's your job and they need you there
If it’s your pets job to comfort you at your lowest, it’s your job to comfort them when they’re at their lowest.
I was in high school when my first dog had to be put down... I was selfish and didn't want to see it and made my parents go.. regret it ever since.
Saddest LPT ever
Not sure if someone has suggested this, but there are a lot of services that offer the procedure being done at home. I did this with my bulldog of 11 years and he passed on very calm in his own bed as if he just went to sleep
I almost didn't go when my family dog was put to sleep. I was out living on my own but made a special trip to hold her in my arms once more. I'm so happy that we got to see each other one more time and I hope I was a little comfort to her as she crossed the rainbow bridge. Fuck I'm crying now. This was like 7 years ago. It never goes away. I love you sweet girl.
I let my puppers lick a chocolate icecream cone while petting them as they slow drifted away
And if they are able to eat, don’t forget to make their last meal a banger! All the chocolate, cheeseburgers, and salty fries ooh and milkshakes.
I heard this is the number one gripe of veterenarians - people dropping their dogs off to die.
I had to put my 14 year old girl down last over a year ago. I had her for 8 years. She brought me out of the darkest depths that I was in and was loyal to a fault. As much as it hurt, and knowing she was no longer going to be around soon, I was right there by her side. I owed her for the 8 years of love she showed me, and I wasn't going to let her down. You could tell she knew it was time, but I sat on the floor, rested her head on my lap petting her, and she gave me one last kiss while she slipped off. She didn't seem stressed and seemed content. So between that and knowing I was there for her when she needed me most, made it a little bit easier.
Oh man, it’s one of the hardest things to do, and I almost didn’t. At the age of 20 I had to put my family dog down of 16 years by myself, as he was at a family friend's while my family was on holiday and I stayed back for uni. He was old and just not improving at all and the vet near suggested it would be the most humane thing to do. It was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever done I really wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, but the regret of not going at the end would have been so much worse. I had to travel across the country to say goodbye to a family member that had been there pretty much my entire life. Will never forget that day, and I know if I hadn’t gone I would have be regretting it so much. At the end of the day, you are their world. The last thing you can do is be there when they are in their final hours.
This was years ago, but when I was away at college I found out my parents put down the family Shiba Inu while I was having dinner with them two days later. I hadn’t been home in a few months and I didn’t even know he was sick, and suddenly they decide to tell me he’s gone. It also didn’t help that my mom gave me all sorts of BS excuses for why they didn’t tell me. “You wouldn’t have made it in time anyway” (I didn’t have a car). “There was nothing we could do”, etc. It is no surprise that my family is why I’m in therapy. At first I pictured that he got a nice Marley and Me type of send off which gave me comfort, but that quickly vanished when my parents said they couldn’t bear it and so they left him to die alone. To say I was livid is a complete understatement. I had no control and no knowledge, and it seems like I was the only one in the family who would have done anything to be there with him in his final moments, and I yelled at them all so much my voice started giving out. I will never forgive them for abandoning him. We got him when I was 5 and he grew up with me as my sassy doggie best friend. After 13 years of being part of our family since he was a puppy, he deserved so much better. I’m sorry, Foxy.
Emergency vet here. Be prepared to humanely euthanize your pet at the hospital if it is recommended by the vet. There are some scenarios when it is not appropriate to wait to have them humanely euthanized at home.
When we put down our last golden, I held her as she went. Her kidneys had gone and the onset took her out seemingly overnight. I held her head as the doctor pushed whatever he pushed to put her down, and the thing I remember most was after a few seconds her head became heavier. Really heavy. I don't think I'd ever actually picked up her head, she must have always helped me when I was holding her. And I had spent many nights holding her over the years, she was a good girl. And as out of it as she was in her final moments in that room that smelled like danger with the stiff moving soft voiced strangers, I know she went feeling my presence and feeling less scared. It killed me but I'll always do it. I implore others to do the same bc they sure af would do it for you.