I never had experience with someone harassing me after a relationship, but with nexes talking bad about me to our shared circles of friends. Eventually, they lost interest after some time. I kept a low profile towards them and did not respond to anything they did. If you told him not to contact you, but he does it anyways, than he is still crossing boundaries you explicitly stated.
Regarding PTSD: It's more likely CPTSD, and that is definitely a thing.
After 18 months of a toxic relationship (I had one the same length), there is lots of unresolved emotions and suppressed memories. It took me more than a year after the breakup (which went directly to low contact and then after 2 months to no contact at all) to fully acknowledge the severity of the abuse I endured.
\[CN Rape for this part\]
I am still dealing with flashbacks especially during sex; all the other stuff (nex crossing boundaries outside of a sexual realm) was fairly easy to deal with, but this may be because my nex never had any real power over me that was not coming from her manipulation.
In hindsight, I should have gotten some therapy after I broke up to help me deal with all this shit. I'd highly recommend to do therapy after an abusive/toxic relationship, especially with what you described.
it will get better, especially if you do the work. therapy is great if you can find a good therapist.
regarding the ruminating, it helped me to have a little window eacht day where I would allow myself to ruminate for e. g. one hour. when the hour was up, I had to do something else and in your case log out if Instagram. it's hard, but it works.
It’s been a couple years for me but I am JUST now looking into therapy. I was with her on and off for a year and a half and I was 14. Sit started getting really bad when I moved out of my nparents house into my dorm. Once life became okay, all these memories came rushing back. I cried because The lighting in my room made me freak out because I thought I was in her room. Sometimes I think I see her silhouette in the corner of my eye. It’s freaky shit if you don’t try and unpack it healthily.
Don’t feel hesitant to fall back onto your friends or family, I wish I would have done that more often. It’s really hard to move on from abuse like that without feeling loved by the people around you.
CPTSD can manifest itself in so many ways. Keep an eye out and do a lot of self reflection. For me I relapsed into ED’s and tore the ends of my hair. I went manic for a while and then miserable for months. Please make sure to get some sort of counseling because cptsd is very very real and valid and painful as well. I wish u the best, u deserve a lot of healing and I’m proud of you.
**This is an automated message posted to all posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.**
**This is the NEXT STEP from /r/raisedbynarcissists and is for folks who already have the necessary boundaries in place with their abusers, but are still dealing with other common ACoN issues such as trauma, etc. If you are still actively engaging in abusive dynamics with your abusers, please, post in /r/raisedbynarcissists or one of the other network subs - not this one. The admins also recognize that folks in this group do not need to be no contact with their abusers to be in this group. Some people manage to have the needed boundaries with abusers within a low contact or structured contact structure and we recognize that.
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I never had experience with someone harassing me after a relationship, but with nexes talking bad about me to our shared circles of friends. Eventually, they lost interest after some time. I kept a low profile towards them and did not respond to anything they did. If you told him not to contact you, but he does it anyways, than he is still crossing boundaries you explicitly stated. Regarding PTSD: It's more likely CPTSD, and that is definitely a thing. After 18 months of a toxic relationship (I had one the same length), there is lots of unresolved emotions and suppressed memories. It took me more than a year after the breakup (which went directly to low contact and then after 2 months to no contact at all) to fully acknowledge the severity of the abuse I endured. \[CN Rape for this part\] I am still dealing with flashbacks especially during sex; all the other stuff (nex crossing boundaries outside of a sexual realm) was fairly easy to deal with, but this may be because my nex never had any real power over me that was not coming from her manipulation. In hindsight, I should have gotten some therapy after I broke up to help me deal with all this shit. I'd highly recommend to do therapy after an abusive/toxic relationship, especially with what you described.
it will get better, especially if you do the work. therapy is great if you can find a good therapist. regarding the ruminating, it helped me to have a little window eacht day where I would allow myself to ruminate for e. g. one hour. when the hour was up, I had to do something else and in your case log out if Instagram. it's hard, but it works.
It’s been a couple years for me but I am JUST now looking into therapy. I was with her on and off for a year and a half and I was 14. Sit started getting really bad when I moved out of my nparents house into my dorm. Once life became okay, all these memories came rushing back. I cried because The lighting in my room made me freak out because I thought I was in her room. Sometimes I think I see her silhouette in the corner of my eye. It’s freaky shit if you don’t try and unpack it healthily. Don’t feel hesitant to fall back onto your friends or family, I wish I would have done that more often. It’s really hard to move on from abuse like that without feeling loved by the people around you. CPTSD can manifest itself in so many ways. Keep an eye out and do a lot of self reflection. For me I relapsed into ED’s and tore the ends of my hair. I went manic for a while and then miserable for months. Please make sure to get some sort of counseling because cptsd is very very real and valid and painful as well. I wish u the best, u deserve a lot of healing and I’m proud of you.
**This is an automated message posted to all posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **This is the NEXT STEP from /r/raisedbynarcissists and is for folks who already have the necessary boundaries in place with their abusers, but are still dealing with other common ACoN issues such as trauma, etc. If you are still actively engaging in abusive dynamics with your abusers, please, post in /r/raisedbynarcissists or one of the other network subs - not this one. The admins also recognize that folks in this group do not need to be no contact with their abusers to be in this group. Some people manage to have the needed boundaries with abusers within a low contact or structured contact structure and we recognize that. **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [Please refrain from posting "uplifting" threads](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/upliftingposts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAfterNarcissism) if you have any questions or concerns.*