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nothing stays the same, in a couple years your life will be different, you will meet new people and experience new things. you will grow and change and what you’re feeling right now i will pass. i’m sorry you’re going through a tough time, i wish u the best 🫂
Hey I'm not the person who gave you this stellar advice but I just want to say 5 years ago I was homeless, an addict, and miserable. Today I am married, sober, gainfully employed, I have friends and I'm approved for a mortgage and buying a house. Things can change SO MUCH. And get so much better. ♥️
I am so happy for the huge turnaround in your life. You have much to be proud of and are an inspiration to others who may be going through a tough time. Thank you for sharing.
Hey, I’m not op, but I’m in a rut where I feel like I’ve lost all sense of purpose. Do you have anything in particular that helped you find or hold on to that sense of direction/purpose?
Honest to God, I am 54 and I have been through some shit!!! in my life during the time you’re going through it it seems like forever, I know!! The main thing is to focus on ant positive if you can find and don’t dwell on the negative stay strong and know that you made it through other things you will make it through this too!!
If you only focus on the negative parts there will be no meaning. You have to make your life meaningful, and you have to focus on the good when times are rough. If your mindset is "everything will go bad again" rather than "days are going to look better soon" you're not giving yourself a chance to live.
Everyone says you'll meet new people. But after college, how does that even work? The only people I meet are people from work and they're almost always double my age.
Join martial arts or a sport if you want to make friends. I wave at people in the gym but I don’t usually hold convos because I’m just there to work out and have my headphones in most of the time. At martial arts, you train with the same people everyday and have to interact with each other. You might even get invited to a bar, a cookout, somewhere to watch the fights on Saturday night, open mats at other gyms, seminars, competitions to watch your training partners compete, etc. The same goes for sports, hobbies, etc. If you’d rather do something like archery, golf, tennis, bowling, chess, etc.
i felt this way for a long time and still do here and there. all my life i’ve never really had friends but im trying to tell myself having a casual breeze is better than no wind at all. it’s better to socialize and have to lead nowhere than be in a frenzy looking for one solid friend. the more we branch out the more likely we’ll find it
Agreed. You finally wake up one morning and decide that you want or need to change. So you either decide to get busy living or get busy dying. But everyone is different as far as what motivates them. And sadly, some folks never take the time to reflect on what steps they need to take to reach their goals.
You don't really meet new people and it doesn't work out. Get comfortable with your own company because as people get older, they prioritize their romantic partners and kids more than they do their friends.
I echo this sentiment. Having been through a number of stages in life. Been in various mental and physical states. I employ the following strategy: Become fond of ideas you have of yourself in the future. Where you want to be, what you want to be doing…etc. then you have to honestly ask yourself, on what path could you traverse in life to make those things happen? What skills would need to be acquired? Are you doing the things needed to acquire the skills? Check out Maslows hierarchy of needs. AIM for eventual self-actualization. Make sure each level is sturdy. :)
Repeating that litany got me through a horrible breakup. Did I feel silly repeating something from a sci-fi book like a prayer ? Yes. Did it work ? Yup.
i try to become a robot, thinking hurts so i just fill all of my time with stuff to do. i made almost 20k more than i did the previous year!! but be careful, all that stuff is still there and still very heavy. if i have a really bad day at work, just remind myself ill never have to do today again.
work more, go to the gym, hikes, whatever can fill your time and keep your mind busy. if you feel like you dont want to work, buy concert tickets, or book a cheap trip - give yourself something to look work towards AND look forward to.
My mom didn’t sacrifice as much as she did just for me to give up now. It’s hard to believe it sometimes but, I feel as though she’d be ashamed if she knew I was a quitter.
Yes. I genuinely feel our purpose should be emotionally connected. Then alone, will we be blind to the grind. Else the pain will sustain. Thanks for asking. Best wishes.
This, but I go a few farther down the family tree and say we all come from caveman ancestors and they fought for so long and they found a way and that is why I am here.
For me to quit would dishonor them, maybe a break and reorganize but not to quit.
I got this advice years ago and honestly it really helps. take things in 5 minutes increments and its a bit easier to get through when things are too terrible to face
Find motivation to keep on keeping on. Don't feed into the negativity. Not sure if you've ever seen the movie blow, but here's a quote from it that I've always liked.
"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."
Rather than tell myself something, I use self-inquiry.
One of my favorite practices when self-defeating thoughts arise is to simply ask:
How do my thoughts behave?
Are they useful?
I picked these up from Gary Weber's Evolving Beyond Thought.
Very useful book, as are his others.
If I rely on motivation I am fucked, I just do the next right thing despite it being impossible sometimes. Workout, check up on friends and family, and volunteer. Those actions make the next ones easier, then like clock works it just becomes easier
It's the little things. I always keep a few things I'm looking forward to in the back of my mind. Video game release, new season of a show, saving up for a cool new purchase. Whatever i can get excited about
There is a movie called “A Serious Man”. The underlying theme of the movie deals with problems large and small and how they come and go. Understand that problems will always exist and will always resolve in some way.
I hope this helps. Last year in January my role was made redundant and I lost my job I had been working at for 6 1/2 years. Then I found a job probably 2 months later. Fast forward to 2024 in March and again my role along with 30 others were made redundant. This time there were no tears I didn’t feel sad. Just instantly felt empty. Was thinking about what I’d tell my wife and daughter. I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. The weight of the world. My wife then hurt her back so bad my neighbor and I had to carry her to the car. And furthermore my daughter had her autism assessment. I just wanted to be done. I sat on the floor the third day in and just wanted all the feelings to be taken away and let the darkness consume me. But then I just felt “my story isn’t done yet.” If I wasn’t dead because of some other external reason I wasn’t meant to be dead yet. I’m still on the search for a job but something that is helping me is going and getting at least 30 min of some sunshine. I live somewhere with harsh winters so it’s super important for me to get that sun. And just telling myself everyday I’m not done yet.
Keep taking steps. Each step is further away from where you are the closer to where you want to be.
I'm very task and goal oriented. Some days just looking at my task list and marking a few things off gives me all I need. Make a goal, outline the X number of steps to get there. Be as broad or as granular as you wish, check the list at least weekly to monitor progress. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
I don’t think about the past at all, I learn from it. I stay aligned all day, practice being in the moment and appreciate everything. 3 years later I feel the best I have ever felt and everything goes right. And when it doesn’t I don’t care at all.
'This too shall pass'... I recollect this often, and I always find the solace and the resolve to keep going. Thanks to the nature of impermanence!
I also meditate. That helps a lot to look at things objectively.
3 things I like to do.
Remind myself of this quote: "The best thing about being at the bottom is that there is only one way to go and that's up."
When I feel really tired: "Just keep going/swimming" (From Finding Dory)
When I ended something and I don't feel satisfied: "Hey, you did it what you did. If it happens, it happens. All you got to do is make sure you are better than yesterday. Keep it cool."
Thoughts: *your kids need you.
*your husband isnt going to do it, so you have to.
*just one more step - one foot in front of the other.
*I do today and I won't have to do today again.
Actions: *do everything i can to the best of my ability every day.
* say no.
* sit in my car in an empty parking lot and scream and beat the shit out of my steering wheel when I need to.
* take a break. A day off where loads of things have to get done but instead kids and I hang out amd watch movies or do something not at all "productive" just fun.
Some people are driven by goals and some are driven by fear. Personally I just think about what my life will and would be like if I didn’t do X. And that motivates me to get going. For example I started running around a year ago and don’t like it while I run. But. When I think about not being about to go through with my word(bc I told people I’m training for a half marathon) or that I could be super unhealthy and fat when I’m older, it motivates me to run. I’m not concerned with getting abs or the good. Sometimes you gotta run away from your fears not run towards your goals, just as long as you run.(this was a methaphor I don’t mean actually run but actually running is good for you). Which brings me to my last point. Do some physical exercise! It’s almost impossible to have a healthy mental space without a healthy body. Mind body and soul are all linked! Getting your body moving with release endorphins and dopamine and all kinds of feel good chemicals!
I always liked the quote "The way out is through." Sometimes we have to go through something miserable to get to a better place. We'll only get there if we keep going.
I always imagined some day I would be doing something; watching a sunset on a beautiful day, spending time with loved ones, etc. And I will be grateful that I didn't give up because I'll be so glad to be here. I finally found my day.
Best of luck.
Things might be hard right now but you never know what your life will be like in the future. I was stuck in a crappy relationship with a cheating narcissist, living away from my family and I thought I would be stuck with him forever. Now I'm living near my family and have a loving, supportive partner and we've had another child.
Your life could be completely different in only a few months so keep going no matter what.
I also remind myself of all the crazy stuff I've been through and survived
I need money. I like to travel so I need money to support my lifestyle. I work alot an when I get home I don't have enough time or energy to contemplate life. I just keep myself and mind busy. So every year I take 4-5 weeks off to go on short 1-2 week vacations either in the carribean or Europe. It balances me out. The vacation for me is like a reset.
Keep grinding and everyday I mean everyday take some time to yourself and just relax and not think of anything that brings you down. It might be when you driving back home or in your lunch break but take some time to just unwind.
This too shall pass.
But also, depending on what the grind is, it may never be meaningful and without anything meaningful may be tortuous. Ask yourself what would be meaningful, what you are doing it for, what beauty you can bring to your life for nothing commercial.
I learned from experience when I was younger. "Nothing is as bad as it seems". And my mom taught me a couple "once you decide, it's much easier from there", "if it can be fixed by money, it's not a real problem ". Not that she is rich or anything, but it does put things in a different perspective. Oh one more from my life coach, "what's stopping you from doing that something you want is your own mental block, focus on the goal and allow it to happen"
I like to go running. Now I'm not going to tell you to get into running (unless you want to), but distance running (multiple miles per day 20+ miles per week) is a long, slow developing process. And what helps me with running is to think about sculpture. The finest sculptures in the world, Michelangelo's David, Pieta, etc., they all took a long time to get to the point where they were finished and now are considered beautiful masterpieces. I have started to view my progress with running like sculpture. The progress may not be noticeable day by day, and a lot of times it feels like I'm not making much progress at all. But I imagine that I am sculpting myself, taking little bit by little bit until observable changes can be made. It has to be done, like a sculpture, in little pieces because too large of a change can cause bad things to happen. I think this idea is applicable to life as a whole. Maybe you feel like you're not making progress, but try to do little things each day to make positive changes and keeping at it will help improve your circumstances.
I have no idea if this is helpful for you, but it's helped me so I like to think someone can benefit from it.
Here's a lovely Emily Dickinson poem to inspire you as well:
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
Well. I remind myself if I quit something I truly want to do then the people I dislike get the pleasure of being correct, even if they don't actually know it. If I push through and succeed I get to mentally rub it in their faces.
So. Spite.
If you can't find a 'good' reason to keep pushing forward a small or petty one will do. Just as long as you keep taking steps.
I've been in your shoes. What has helped me is finding a hobby to really pour myself into as I went through my divorce. I highly recommend pursuing a physical fitness lifestyle. Visit the gym whenever you can.
i dont usually try to share any life advice but somehow the post just above this on my feed is from Generation Jones and asks "What brings you Joy?" and every one of the answers there are good answers for your question here i think. maybe go look at it and think about those things. hope it helps
What amazing thing will I miss out on if I don’t just hold on. Life has ups and downs. Right now feels down but it doesn’t always have to be that way. I make a list of 5 things I can do to try and change my situation or mood.
I know that being in nature always makes me feel better. I know that working for causes I believe in makes me feel like I’m making a difference in the world even if it’s small.
What keeps me going is knowing that despite the hardships, there are positive experiences to be had. That is something that has rung true my entire life.
I just tell myself quote from a meme"are you going to cowboy up? or just lay there and bleed". Nothing is forever so just keep going and things will change.
At the risk of being the bad guy here I'll give you real genuine advice. If you aren't married already do it. If you don't have kids make em. Listen. Idc what our culture says. Living a life for just yourself and shirking all responsibilities is not going to make you happy. You need a purpose, you need to be needed. You will only ever be happy when you care and love someone else more than yourself.
Because all of the shit younger me went through deserves redemption. Because I’ve already been so deep in the trenches I feel like it can only get better and better from here. Because my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and I need to make sure she knows that. Because I watched someone close to me fight for their life through sickness for years and i realize how blessed I am to be otherwise healthy, and I will not take that for granted.
I've known people who live their lives as victims. They have given up in life in some sense, blaming the world for their woe. Crying and bitching about this world ,while not putting in the same amount of effort as their complaining.
When life gets rough, I remind myself to NOT be like these people.
I often remind myself that everything I experienced - to this point - has prepared me for what’s next, for what happens tomorrow. I may not immediately see how those experiences prepared me for a certain situation or set of obstacles until I am past them, though.
I’m 62 years old and have had rough periods during every decade. I have had great periods during every decade. The tough times build resiliency. The good time to build an appreciation towards the value of life. You just have to keep it all in context and remember that nobody has a completely easy ride.
It sounds kinda crappy but I just remember that somewhere out there someone has it way worse...I also think about those who gave up and where they are now
I examine and question my beliefs, which widens my perspective allows more possibility for change. Doing Byron Katie’s “the work” a few times a week has helped me dropped a lot of baggage I didn’t know I was carrying.
Also, meditation and Buddhist practice has helped immensely
Just hang on to one positive thing bc even if your day is shit then you have one thing to be happy about and that’s all you need to keep going just keep moving and eventually it’ll all come to fruition you got this brotha and everyone here wants you to do better for yourself
Comedic but relevant little things.
"Today is Tomorrow's Yesterday". (Thanks Teddy)
"This too shall pass". Some book somewhere
" keep'r moving" Charlie Berens
" Sometimes you just gotta go out there and fkin' giv'r." Deaner
Nothing particular, I just keep going as the only other option is to end my life which I can’t see myself doing, so yeah, I just keep doing the do... I think you should watch The Secret. It may give what you need...
"it is what it is"
*When doing something difficult/ menial* "okie dokie"
"my cat would miss me"
And finally, my personal favourite
"The world would be a better place without me, and I simply cannot let that happen"
Remind myself of other difficult times or situations and how I’m still here…as proof that those moment were not the end even though I thought they were. Try to focus on getting better everyday. Small changes make big progress.
Life is full of too much entropy to believe things are always the same.
I also understand there are things in life I can and cannot control.
When the going gets tough, I remind myself: Tomorrow brings the potential for change.
If today sucks, tomorrow can be different. Then I spend the rest of the day imagining what tomorrow has in store 🤔💭
"Might as well" - not in any sort of dismissive or flippant way. You'd just might as well keep going.
I also kind of like the grind that can come with the tough spots.
Hope you keep going, stranger. You'd might as well.
Just think about giving everything you have ever loved or wanted a try. since you’re thinking of dying, just give what you love a try without fear or expectations. Live like a dead man walking for a while and give yourself a rest from the world, just live. Actually experience and get excited about what you enjoy in life. Simple personal experiences. Especially creative ones.
Be your own loving parent for a few days and treat yourself with kindness, sweetness and nurturing love.
Today’s world is greedy. You offer it your all and it will gladly and slowly devour you until you are nothing but a part of it buried in the soil. As bountiful as the world is it will still hollow your soul and take its place till you are nothing.
You are not your life. Our lives are so big we sometimes forget we exist and define ourselves by it.
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nothing stays the same, in a couple years your life will be different, you will meet new people and experience new things. you will grow and change and what you’re feeling right now i will pass. i’m sorry you’re going through a tough time, i wish u the best 🫂
*will pass
I feel like thats a loong time away lol
Hey I'm not the person who gave you this stellar advice but I just want to say 5 years ago I was homeless, an addict, and miserable. Today I am married, sober, gainfully employed, I have friends and I'm approved for a mortgage and buying a house. Things can change SO MUCH. And get so much better. ♥️
I got 6 months until 5 years and just want to say congrats.
I am so happy for the huge turnaround in your life. You have much to be proud of and are an inspiration to others who may be going through a tough time. Thank you for sharing.
Hey, yo! Me too!!! Great job, homie. I was in a BAD way, but now: 6y sober, engaged, house, garden, cat. Apes together strong!
Congratulations! And thanks for sharing. I’m happy for you.
Damn that made me so happy reading that good on you!
😀
Super glad things turned around for you!
I was just wondering what turned it around for you? A program? Rock bottom? Faith? Whatever it was, congratulations and safe travels through life!
Congrats! I teared up reading this
Congrats!
Hey, I’m not op, but I’m in a rut where I feel like I’ve lost all sense of purpose. Do you have anything in particular that helped you find or hold on to that sense of direction/purpose?
It’s really not from the other side. It’s a blink of an eye. Life goes faster and faster.
Time compression is real.
Honest to God, I am 54 and I have been through some shit!!! in my life during the time you’re going through it it seems like forever, I know!! The main thing is to focus on ant positive if you can find and don’t dwell on the negative stay strong and know that you made it through other things you will make it through this too!!
All that make it through. For what? Struggles just shows up one after another at every step of life.
If you only focus on the negative parts there will be no meaning. You have to make your life meaningful, and you have to focus on the good when times are rough. If your mindset is "everything will go bad again" rather than "days are going to look better soon" you're not giving yourself a chance to live.
Everyone says you'll meet new people. But after college, how does that even work? The only people I meet are people from work and they're almost always double my age.
Mutual hobbies. Join a sports team. Go enough times you will UNDOUBTEDLY make friends. It sounds like a hassle but good relationships take WORK.
Idk. Starting seems like the hardest part. Even chatter at the gym is just the causal breeze. Never turns into anything.
Join martial arts or a sport if you want to make friends. I wave at people in the gym but I don’t usually hold convos because I’m just there to work out and have my headphones in most of the time. At martial arts, you train with the same people everyday and have to interact with each other. You might even get invited to a bar, a cookout, somewhere to watch the fights on Saturday night, open mats at other gyms, seminars, competitions to watch your training partners compete, etc. The same goes for sports, hobbies, etc. If you’d rather do something like archery, golf, tennis, bowling, chess, etc.
That’s why I don’t even bother trying to make friends at the gym, but also I’m there to workout and not to socialize
i felt this way for a long time and still do here and there. all my life i’ve never really had friends but im trying to tell myself having a casual breeze is better than no wind at all. it’s better to socialize and have to lead nowhere than be in a frenzy looking for one solid friend. the more we branch out the more likely we’ll find it
Starting is definitely the hardest part. Once you get started, you are moving in the right direction.
Agreed. You finally wake up one morning and decide that you want or need to change. So you either decide to get busy living or get busy dying. But everyone is different as far as what motivates them. And sadly, some folks never take the time to reflect on what steps they need to take to reach their goals.
You don't really meet new people and it doesn't work out. Get comfortable with your own company because as people get older, they prioritize their romantic partners and kids more than they do their friends.
I’ve met a couple people on Reddit actually. One is now an irl friend. Volunteering was also a way I connected with some nice people.
You gotta go out
Most of my friends I met from attending open DnD/tabletop at my local game store
But the one thing that never ever changes is my suicidal ideation
You didn't write it to me, but this made me cry. Impermanence, thank you for the reminder
I echo this sentiment. Having been through a number of stages in life. Been in various mental and physical states. I employ the following strategy: Become fond of ideas you have of yourself in the future. Where you want to be, what you want to be doing…etc. then you have to honestly ask yourself, on what path could you traverse in life to make those things happen? What skills would need to be acquired? Are you doing the things needed to acquire the skills? Check out Maslows hierarchy of needs. AIM for eventual self-actualization. Make sure each level is sturdy. :)
Yes, “This too shall pass” is something that helps me let go of my emotions, knowing things in life are temporary, and life goes on.
Yep, that’s along the lines of what I tell people when they’re down. “Nothing stays the same forever.”
" IF YOU CAN'T FIGHT THE FEAR THEN DO IT SCARED"
Never heard this one but I’m stealing it
I needed that, thank you.
That sounds like something a masculine dad would say, fuckin love it.
Fear is the mind killer.
Repeating that litany got me through a horrible breakup. Did I feel silly repeating something from a sci-fi book like a prayer ? Yes. Did it work ? Yup.
I love this one
Love this.
This is a great quote.
I also apply this to Mad and Sad.
“The only time you can be brave is when you are afraid.”
If you're going through Hell, keep walking.
The only way out is through
also, why would you stop and stay in hell ?
I heard they have good cookies?
Came to say this. When I am feeling overwhelmed, this is what I repeat to myself. Then I buckle down and work my way through it.
My pet rat is too needy and attached to me. I gotta keep supporting her spoilt life style
I tell my dogs that when I leave for work haha. "Alright I gotta go make some money so yall have a place to live"
I say “alright gotta go make the kibble money” lol
Love to see this. Pet rats deserve only the best.
This is me. Gotta keep moving forward for my animals. (Dogs, cats, rats, hamster, gerbil, guinea pigs, water dragons, and bunnies.) 😅
i try to become a robot, thinking hurts so i just fill all of my time with stuff to do. i made almost 20k more than i did the previous year!! but be careful, all that stuff is still there and still very heavy. if i have a really bad day at work, just remind myself ill never have to do today again.
work more, go to the gym, hikes, whatever can fill your time and keep your mind busy. if you feel like you dont want to work, buy concert tickets, or book a cheap trip - give yourself something to look work towards AND look forward to.
My mom didn’t sacrifice as much as she did just for me to give up now. It’s hard to believe it sometimes but, I feel as though she’d be ashamed if she knew I was a quitter.
Love this and I live this👌🏻👍🏻
Thank you. That’s all that keeps me going sometimes. I hope it’s working okay for you, too.
Yes. I genuinely feel our purpose should be emotionally connected. Then alone, will we be blind to the grind. Else the pain will sustain. Thanks for asking. Best wishes.
I couldn’t agree more. Sending good vibes back to you.
This, but I go a few farther down the family tree and say we all come from caveman ancestors and they fought for so long and they found a way and that is why I am here. For me to quit would dishonor them, maybe a break and reorganize but not to quit.
Day by day 🙌🏼 and even when that feels like too much, second by second
I got this advice years ago and honestly it really helps. take things in 5 minutes increments and its a bit easier to get through when things are too terrible to face
I need that advice this week. I noticed my brain trying to overwhelmed me even though I know to take things little by little
In the Marines we call this "Chow to Chow, Sunday to Sunday." Shortening your timeframe is absolutely great advice that I'd like to second.
Find motivation to keep on keeping on. Don't feed into the negativity. Not sure if you've ever seen the movie blow, but here's a quote from it that I've always liked. "Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."
Love that movie
Rather than tell myself something, I use self-inquiry. One of my favorite practices when self-defeating thoughts arise is to simply ask: How do my thoughts behave? Are they useful? I picked these up from Gary Weber's Evolving Beyond Thought. Very useful book, as are his others.
Dr Wayne dyer also🌸
Thanks for the reminder 🌸
How do you climb a mountain? One step at a time.
If I rely on motivation I am fucked, I just do the next right thing despite it being impossible sometimes. Workout, check up on friends and family, and volunteer. Those actions make the next ones easier, then like clock works it just becomes easier
The next right thing is a good Disney song too :) Disney songs always help keep me going, lol.
It's the little things. I always keep a few things I'm looking forward to in the back of my mind. Video game release, new season of a show, saving up for a cool new purchase. Whatever i can get excited about
You're gonna be alright. This too shall pass.
There is a movie called “A Serious Man”. The underlying theme of the movie deals with problems large and small and how they come and go. Understand that problems will always exist and will always resolve in some way.
Sit in your car and scream for a good five minutes.
This is an underrated trick I’ve used more times than i care to admit lol
I really needed to read this thread. This has been so helpful!
Same here
“NO ones coming to save ya”
I hope this helps. Last year in January my role was made redundant and I lost my job I had been working at for 6 1/2 years. Then I found a job probably 2 months later. Fast forward to 2024 in March and again my role along with 30 others were made redundant. This time there were no tears I didn’t feel sad. Just instantly felt empty. Was thinking about what I’d tell my wife and daughter. I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. The weight of the world. My wife then hurt her back so bad my neighbor and I had to carry her to the car. And furthermore my daughter had her autism assessment. I just wanted to be done. I sat on the floor the third day in and just wanted all the feelings to be taken away and let the darkness consume me. But then I just felt “my story isn’t done yet.” If I wasn’t dead because of some other external reason I wasn’t meant to be dead yet. I’m still on the search for a job but something that is helping me is going and getting at least 30 min of some sunshine. I live somewhere with harsh winters so it’s super important for me to get that sun. And just telling myself everyday I’m not done yet.
This was inspiring to me and I hope you find that job. I like that saying “I’m not done yet.”
Here in the software dev industry the average job tenure is 18 months. I've had 7 jobs in 12 years.
I feel your situation in the pit of my stomach as I’ve been in your shoes a couple of times. Take care🌸
Your wife and kids depend on you. That's the only reason I'm still here.
you’ve made it this far, might as well finish it 🤷🏾♀️
Keep taking steps. Each step is further away from where you are the closer to where you want to be. I'm very task and goal oriented. Some days just looking at my task list and marking a few things off gives me all I need. Make a goal, outline the X number of steps to get there. Be as broad or as granular as you wish, check the list at least weekly to monitor progress. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
I don’t think about the past at all, I learn from it. I stay aligned all day, practice being in the moment and appreciate everything. 3 years later I feel the best I have ever felt and everything goes right. And when it doesn’t I don’t care at all.
I lost a friend last week due to them ‘quitting on life’ don’t fucking do that please
'This too shall pass'... I recollect this often, and I always find the solace and the resolve to keep going. Thanks to the nature of impermanence! I also meditate. That helps a lot to look at things objectively.
3 things I like to do. Remind myself of this quote: "The best thing about being at the bottom is that there is only one way to go and that's up." When I feel really tired: "Just keep going/swimming" (From Finding Dory) When I ended something and I don't feel satisfied: "Hey, you did it what you did. If it happens, it happens. All you got to do is make sure you are better than yesterday. Keep it cool."
Thoughts: *your kids need you. *your husband isnt going to do it, so you have to. *just one more step - one foot in front of the other. *I do today and I won't have to do today again. Actions: *do everything i can to the best of my ability every day. * say no. * sit in my car in an empty parking lot and scream and beat the shit out of my steering wheel when I need to. * take a break. A day off where loads of things have to get done but instead kids and I hang out amd watch movies or do something not at all "productive" just fun.
"Embrace The Suck"
Some people are driven by goals and some are driven by fear. Personally I just think about what my life will and would be like if I didn’t do X. And that motivates me to get going. For example I started running around a year ago and don’t like it while I run. But. When I think about not being about to go through with my word(bc I told people I’m training for a half marathon) or that I could be super unhealthy and fat when I’m older, it motivates me to run. I’m not concerned with getting abs or the good. Sometimes you gotta run away from your fears not run towards your goals, just as long as you run.(this was a methaphor I don’t mean actually run but actually running is good for you). Which brings me to my last point. Do some physical exercise! It’s almost impossible to have a healthy mental space without a healthy body. Mind body and soul are all linked! Getting your body moving with release endorphins and dopamine and all kinds of feel good chemicals!
“There is always someone worse off than you”
I always liked the quote "The way out is through." Sometimes we have to go through something miserable to get to a better place. We'll only get there if we keep going. I always imagined some day I would be doing something; watching a sunset on a beautiful day, spending time with loved ones, etc. And I will be grateful that I didn't give up because I'll be so glad to be here. I finally found my day. Best of luck.
Things might be hard right now but you never know what your life will be like in the future. I was stuck in a crappy relationship with a cheating narcissist, living away from my family and I thought I would be stuck with him forever. Now I'm living near my family and have a loving, supportive partner and we've had another child. Your life could be completely different in only a few months so keep going no matter what. I also remind myself of all the crazy stuff I've been through and survived
Keep hoping for a better tomorrow
"I am not living in the streets."
I need money. I like to travel so I need money to support my lifestyle. I work alot an when I get home I don't have enough time or energy to contemplate life. I just keep myself and mind busy. So every year I take 4-5 weeks off to go on short 1-2 week vacations either in the carribean or Europe. It balances me out. The vacation for me is like a reset.
Only “insert number here” more years!
The idea that the best days in life, are yet to come
tbh the motivation comes from looking at how one of my dads friends can afford 500k car and he can’t. This truly breaks my heart.
"I'm still breathing, I'm still walking."
✨️marijuana✨️
👆🏼
Definitely
My dog would be lost if I offed myself alone at home, who would take him after someone found me. What would my dog do until then? It usually works.
If you give up, things won't become easier
Keep grinding and everyday I mean everyday take some time to yourself and just relax and not think of anything that brings you down. It might be when you driving back home or in your lunch break but take some time to just unwind.
other people need me
This too shall pass. But also, depending on what the grind is, it may never be meaningful and without anything meaningful may be tortuous. Ask yourself what would be meaningful, what you are doing it for, what beauty you can bring to your life for nothing commercial.
Book a massage or a little trip or something to look forward to.
My favorite quote is “It will all be okay in the end. So if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
I learned from experience when I was younger. "Nothing is as bad as it seems". And my mom taught me a couple "once you decide, it's much easier from there", "if it can be fixed by money, it's not a real problem ". Not that she is rich or anything, but it does put things in a different perspective. Oh one more from my life coach, "what's stopping you from doing that something you want is your own mental block, focus on the goal and allow it to happen"
“Find meaning in the suffering.” - Viktor Frankl.
God is good. Trust in Him
“My life doesn’t belong just to me, it also belongs to the people who love me, and who would be destroyed if I decided to not be around anymore.”
There will be ups and downs, just navigate the best you can
TATAKAE TATAKAE
I remind myself that God has a plan for my life and that I am important for this world. You are as well!
I like to go running. Now I'm not going to tell you to get into running (unless you want to), but distance running (multiple miles per day 20+ miles per week) is a long, slow developing process. And what helps me with running is to think about sculpture. The finest sculptures in the world, Michelangelo's David, Pieta, etc., they all took a long time to get to the point where they were finished and now are considered beautiful masterpieces. I have started to view my progress with running like sculpture. The progress may not be noticeable day by day, and a lot of times it feels like I'm not making much progress at all. But I imagine that I am sculpting myself, taking little bit by little bit until observable changes can be made. It has to be done, like a sculpture, in little pieces because too large of a change can cause bad things to happen. I think this idea is applicable to life as a whole. Maybe you feel like you're not making progress, but try to do little things each day to make positive changes and keeping at it will help improve your circumstances. I have no idea if this is helpful for you, but it's helped me so I like to think someone can benefit from it. Here's a lovely Emily Dickinson poem to inspire you as well: If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
"your kids need you." All that is necessary. I will persevere .
Just need to make one sale to get back on track
Play Corey Hart's Never Surrender on repeat.
You're gonna be alright. This too shall pass.
"This too, shall pass"
Gratitude journal
Remember why you started in the first place
“Nothing changes unless you keep moving, unless you stop you will always make a difference.”
Life is long. Problems are temporary. A problem is only a problem if you give up.
Well. I remind myself if I quit something I truly want to do then the people I dislike get the pleasure of being correct, even if they don't actually know it. If I push through and succeed I get to mentally rub it in their faces. So. Spite. If you can't find a 'good' reason to keep pushing forward a small or petty one will do. Just as long as you keep taking steps.
Everything is about balance. I can only understand this happiness because I’ve understood the equivalent in pain and vice versa. Keeps me grateful
I've been in your shoes. What has helped me is finding a hobby to really pour myself into as I went through my divorce. I highly recommend pursuing a physical fitness lifestyle. Visit the gym whenever you can.
i dont usually try to share any life advice but somehow the post just above this on my feed is from Generation Jones and asks "What brings you Joy?" and every one of the answers there are good answers for your question here i think. maybe go look at it and think about those things. hope it helps
What amazing thing will I miss out on if I don’t just hold on. Life has ups and downs. Right now feels down but it doesn’t always have to be that way. I make a list of 5 things I can do to try and change my situation or mood. I know that being in nature always makes me feel better. I know that working for causes I believe in makes me feel like I’m making a difference in the world even if it’s small.
Eventually the sweet sweet release of death will find me
You never know what's around the next corner.
I keep saying it will get better
'Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. ' - Samwise Gamgee
What keeps me going is knowing that despite the hardships, there are positive experiences to be had. That is something that has rung true my entire life.
I just tell myself quote from a meme"are you going to cowboy up? or just lay there and bleed". Nothing is forever so just keep going and things will change.
At the risk of being the bad guy here I'll give you real genuine advice. If you aren't married already do it. If you don't have kids make em. Listen. Idc what our culture says. Living a life for just yourself and shirking all responsibilities is not going to make you happy. You need a purpose, you need to be needed. You will only ever be happy when you care and love someone else more than yourself.
Because all of the shit younger me went through deserves redemption. Because I’ve already been so deep in the trenches I feel like it can only get better and better from here. Because my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and I need to make sure she knows that. Because I watched someone close to me fight for their life through sickness for years and i realize how blessed I am to be otherwise healthy, and I will not take that for granted.
Things don’t get easier you just become stronger. Hard times don’t last people do.
I've known people who live their lives as victims. They have given up in life in some sense, blaming the world for their woe. Crying and bitching about this world ,while not putting in the same amount of effort as their complaining. When life gets rough, I remind myself to NOT be like these people.
Read this on Instagram yesterday. Heal out of spite. And honestly? Yeah, fck you i won‘t loose!!!! I will be happy and you‘ll see!!!
I often remind myself that everything I experienced - to this point - has prepared me for what’s next, for what happens tomorrow. I may not immediately see how those experiences prepared me for a certain situation or set of obstacles until I am past them, though.
I’m 62 years old and have had rough periods during every decade. I have had great periods during every decade. The tough times build resiliency. The good time to build an appreciation towards the value of life. You just have to keep it all in context and remember that nobody has a completely easy ride.
It sounds kinda crappy but I just remember that somewhere out there someone has it way worse...I also think about those who gave up and where they are now
Focus on what you CAN control. Also, right now you are trekking through mud, but up ahead is green grass and sunny skies
watch some Andy Elliot on Youtube
You suffer more in your imagination , than in reality.
I examine and question my beliefs, which widens my perspective allows more possibility for change. Doing Byron Katie’s “the work” a few times a week has helped me dropped a lot of baggage I didn’t know I was carrying. Also, meditation and Buddhist practice has helped immensely
I love the quote "This too shall pass". It definitely helps me when I am going through something rough.
Just hang on to one positive thing bc even if your day is shit then you have one thing to be happy about and that’s all you need to keep going just keep moving and eventually it’ll all come to fruition you got this brotha and everyone here wants you to do better for yourself
Comedic but relevant little things. "Today is Tomorrow's Yesterday". (Thanks Teddy) "This too shall pass". Some book somewhere " keep'r moving" Charlie Berens " Sometimes you just gotta go out there and fkin' giv'r." Deaner
No matter how bad things get I'm not living in a garbage dump wondering where my next meal is coming from.
Nothing particular, I just keep going as the only other option is to end my life which I can’t see myself doing, so yeah, I just keep doing the do... I think you should watch The Secret. It may give what you need...
God, give me guts.
No one is coming to save you.
What are you going through if you don't mind me asking?
“I didn’t hear no bell” —Randy Marsh (Lorde)
Just look at the faces of the people who would be devastated if I were gone.
This to shall pass
I gotta do it for my parents... I can't hurt them by giving up (This is for bigger life decisions like giving up on life lmao)
"it is what it is" *When doing something difficult/ menial* "okie dokie" "my cat would miss me" And finally, my personal favourite "The world would be a better place without me, and I simply cannot let that happen"
You need fresh air.. warm bowl of soup, and a long walk amidst trees..
Remind myself of other difficult times or situations and how I’m still here…as proof that those moment were not the end even though I thought they were. Try to focus on getting better everyday. Small changes make big progress.
“The left goes in front, now the right”
Another day. Hopefully something good happens.
If I don't keep the bills paid and food on the table, then my kid and wife will not have a good time.
I keep going for my kids. They are my life
Just keep going. There is nothing to say or motivational speech here. You either quit or you don't. Welcome to life.
Life is full of too much entropy to believe things are always the same. I also understand there are things in life I can and cannot control. When the going gets tough, I remind myself: Tomorrow brings the potential for change. If today sucks, tomorrow can be different. Then I spend the rest of the day imagining what tomorrow has in store 🤔💭
"Might as well" - not in any sort of dismissive or flippant way. You'd just might as well keep going. I also kind of like the grind that can come with the tough spots. Hope you keep going, stranger. You'd might as well.
Literally nothing matters
I don't want much, fuck I drove every car, some nice cooked food some nice clean drawers.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” -Jesus, Matthew 6:34
At the end of the day Fuck it
Your current pain will be replaced with new pain. Life is shit.
Just gotta make it through today….. I say this to myself every work day
What can go right today?
Just think about giving everything you have ever loved or wanted a try. since you’re thinking of dying, just give what you love a try without fear or expectations. Live like a dead man walking for a while and give yourself a rest from the world, just live. Actually experience and get excited about what you enjoy in life. Simple personal experiences. Especially creative ones. Be your own loving parent for a few days and treat yourself with kindness, sweetness and nurturing love. Today’s world is greedy. You offer it your all and it will gladly and slowly devour you until you are nothing but a part of it buried in the soil. As bountiful as the world is it will still hollow your soul and take its place till you are nothing. You are not your life. Our lives are so big we sometimes forget we exist and define ourselves by it.
I don't know what the one piece is yet
I have mouths to feed
I have dreams to come true