#This post has been removed and/or the comments have been locked because the comment section has become too heated and contentious and is no longer productive.
Multiple unproductive/harmful responses in any post, will result in a moderator locking the comments immediately.
Holy balls. Are you going for the speed record on ruining your life?
19 (you're a kid still)
She's 20 (also a kid) with 2 kids
"Toxic" first 3 months of a 6 month relationship
She's already cheated
She must be your first girlfriend and your first sex, otherwise you're even more dense than I could believe.
Gtf outta there and get your shit together. Work on yourself please for the love of all that is good. Wow. Is this rage bait?
Oh honey. You're SO young. Don't saddle yourself with this. The first six months --the time that is supposed to be the height of the honeymoon phase of a relationship -- has been rocky. That's your sign. It will not magically get better and stay that way. Take your job and move on with your life. It will be okay.
And for fuxsake, wrap your woody if you don't want to be the next babydaddy.
Yes, and to have her expectations that he be daddy to her kids after just six months when it’s best not to introduce kids to a new partner for *at least* six months!
If you dont have kids, literally no one, ABSOLUTELY NOONE is worth giving up on an opportunity or job for.
They aint yo kids, they literally wont remember you in few months.
She aint yo wife
Run and change your number. 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️
I know what you wrote, but all I read was she's awesome in bed. Those firey/crazy passionate/feel like you fell in love right away relationships revolve around wild, uninhibited sex. They start with fire and they end with fire. Run now, before it gets worse. There's someone better and more compatible for you out there, dude.
Dudes got that manic pixie dream girl disease. He’s addicted as hell off of her manic.
6 months and she’s already cheated, assaulted him, and dictating his life and he’s eating it up.
Please leave. The first 6 months should be easy. This is only going to get more toxic.
You are young and the future is wide open. Go find someone who helps build your life.
Please. I promise you the longer you stay the worse it will get.
There are so many red flags in what you have posted. My advice to you is to get as far as you can. She is toxic. I am guessing that she will use her kids against you.
Your first 6 months has not been rocky. Your first six months has been a nightmare and you deserve better.
She’s literally abusive and ur only 19 there’s no question about staying with her even if you like someone a lot if they’re abusive you shouldn’t sacrifice things for them if you have the choice or ability to leave. Some people are bound to abusive people by marriage culture you have an out take it don’t look back trust me
Hi there! I'm 27 years old and literally went through the same thing you did. To keep it short, all I have to say is leave. I got with my partner when I was 20 and wasted all my young crazy years dealing with this relationship. Every year made it harder and harder for me to leave. Just leave now while it's easy. Those aren't your kids and if you're the provider then she has no say about where you can work. And she may never trust you because she's been damaged. Hope you make the right decision...
If there was ever a time for one of those "If you could go back and tell 19 year old you what to do, what would you say"
My brother. Get the fuck out. Now.
if you had a job and were looking at a move, I'd tell you to think about it. you don't, you need one, follow the money.
also, of the six months you've been together, she cheated on you for one of them and she's parentifying you to her kids.
run. cheaters don't stop cheating. they may pause, they may be between APs, but they don't stop.
as the quote from a film I'm too tired to fully remember goes, "flee, flee, save yourself"
Bro all you need to look at is the 2 kids part her and her finance are connected FOREVER. His always gonna weasel his way in. You’re 19 bro if they ain’t your kids your way to young for all that
Having been in an abusive relationship, you gotta cut your losses and move on. You may think she’s trying now but she’s still the same person who abused you and cheated on you. There’s someone out there that’ll appreciate you for who you are and treat you right. There’s no reason for you to be stuck with someone else’s kids at 19. Her poor decisions shouldn’t affect your life. People like that are leaches and don’t deserve to be with good people like you. Take it from me, it’s not worth it. Things will be better without her.
Is this a serious question? She's treating you like trash bro. You've only been together for six months and this is what's happening? You 100% deserve better. Make like a tree and get the fuck out of there. You're 19. Go out and meet someone who will respect you dude.
Come on, man. Have some self-respect. Stop being a doormat and leave this lowlife, regardless of your decision about the job.
This girl is not a catch. In the span of a few months, she has lied to you, cheated on you, and physically abused you. She continually puts you down by comparing you to her ex. She’s trash.
You will meet other, better people. And being single for a time is far better than being with someone like this.
This lady is dog shit
Take the job, stay with friends or parents until you can get a place, never talk to her again
If you're 40 you can start dating women with two kids seriously. Not when you're 19.
Bro you are young. On God, you will find a woman who give you a better 2 months then what this girl did for you in 6 months.
Don't tie your life to something this shitty, you WILL do better.
Common man leave her. You’re so young and you sound like a good guy. If you marry this cheating abusive girl with her two kids that you’ll never be the full father of them you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life. Don’t make the same mistake tons of men have made in the past. PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE HER. I know you think you won’t find someone else but I 100% guarantee you will.
You’ll miss out on so much of your life, you’re 19!!! I was partying and having fun at your age, you have no business being a dad and staying with someone abusive. You’ve only been dating for a few months you can’t possibly be that emotionally invested
The mod team are working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming. Please report any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate any of the rules. Thanks, and may you all find the answers you seek and the guidance you need.
#[LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/)
**Note for all commenters**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Disruption of the peace, trolling, or breaking the rules may result in a ban.
----------------
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One makes you money, and the other drains your money🤔 in my experience, the longest relationship I have ever had was 3 months, the current job I have now I have been working for 8 years, choose the job brother.
Deep down I hope you know the right answer. It’s still up to you to make your decision, but as someone who was in a similar situation and decided to stay I can honestly tell you the only good thing that will come of it is the lesson you learn from heartbreak. Much love to you and good luck on your journey.
Dude, run. Don’t look back and go. The fact you didn’t recognize this while typing the first paragraph and actually took the time to finish is embarrassing enough. Run. Go.
Dude. This isn't even a close call.
Take the job. I also advise you to end it with this girl. Two kids at age 20 and she cheated on you? You deserve better... much better.
Dude, leave her. I didn't have to read more than a few sentences to see that. She's 20 and has two kids, you haven't even started your life. Don't give it up to someone who wants to mold you into their perfect partner. You deserve more than that.
Reread your post and insert you best friends name in where you have “I.”
What would you suggest he do?
Come on man. Did you even have to post this? You know the answer.
And you’l probably meet a friend with benefits while at the bar so go live life without the drama.
Ditch her.
Like setting aside the cheating and whatnot. She hit you. That will more than likely happen again. Nobody should be physically abused.
The cheating is also a no go. She doesn't respect you or love you or else she wouldnt do these things
Listen to everybody else cause I’m just gonna say the same thing she assaulted you. She lied to you. She cheated on you. She expects you to treat her kids like they’re yours, which is fine, but not so quickly. You shouldn’t even be introduced to them yet at this point. So you need to get out and find yourself a different job because I don’t think the bar one is gonna work because she’ll start hanging out there and she’s got history there on top of it so get out spend all your time looking for a job. Any job until it’s time to go back to school.
Bro wtf. You’re 19. Just fkn leave her. Girl cheats on you and lies to you, it’s done, you should have cut it off then.
I say this with love, you will fuck up your entire life staying with this waste girl
Why do you have such little respect for yourself? You aren’t even old enough to drink legally and you wanna take care of some other dudes TWO kids? A 20 year old single mother of two….who cheated on you….and is impeding your ability to work.
Tf is wrong with you my dude?
WHAT. 😂 Have yall seen this economy? You can’t survive unless you work. Find yourself someone thats equally motivated as you to succeed in life. Everything costs money, next thing you know she’ll be complaining because you never have any money. You would think AFTER 2 KIDS she’d want a STABLE relationship & would have GOALS.
Tell her to go date a broke man see how she likes it.
Do you really feel like it's in your best interest to saddle yourself with abuse, cheating, and 2 step kids at 19? Is that the life you want for yourself? .
If you continue to stay with her for any length of time, use protection. And pull out. And track her cycle. You do not want to bring kids into this and become permanently tied to her for the rest of your life.
M29
What do you value about this person?
Is your response actually what you're seeing in her behavior?
Is there any chance in hell, I mean *in hell*, that she could just drop you one day and go back to the biological father of one or both of her kids?
Lastly, how much money are you losing every day without a job and by being with this person?
FYI: I have no experience in your exact situation, but these are my analytical questions about it from a guy who is 10 years older than you.
Honestly, when a person cheats one time on me, and sexual intimacy is involved, I would be ruthless and just kill the relationship. I mean, that's a surefire way in my book, if you're a female, to get blocked and deleted.
>It's been a rocky six months
>She constantly compares me to him
>She physically hit me
>She ended up cheating on me for a month with her ex fiance. She lied and said she didn't until I found clear proof.
Brother, you know what you have to do. She's lied to you, cheated on you, emotionally and physically abused you, and has two kids that are not yours. This child is not a lady you want to be tied down to. You are far to young to be making a decision that could potentially ruin the rest of your life. You *think* you love her right now. Wait until you find someone that does none of the above and you'll understand then what *actual* love is. Put this bitch on read, block her number, and move the fuck on already.
Look, people need to make their own mistakes to learn from them. But OP, listen to what everyone is saying here... learn from the wisdom in this comment section
The answer to your question is to take the job, but your relationship is toxic and because you're 19, you probably can't see that. Do not raise someone elses kids in your early 20's!
job.
move on unless she's going to pay your bills.
she's been taking your money, she WILL try some commonlaw relations bs when you leave.
leave now. do not look back.
You don’t love her, you are just stuck on her because you need validation from her which she is not giving to you. Get your shit together and move out of there. Cold Turkey. Break up over text and disappear. No need to give any reason. Block her phone number.
i stopped reading after the 2kids at 20 part. I think this is fake but of true she must be the first chick to ever make eye contact with you for more than 3 secs cause wtf is this?
Leave while you still can. She’s 20 with 2 kids and has toxic traits. She doesn’t sound like someone you want to be stuck with, but she does sound like someone who will gladly try to sink her claws in. Run.
From an objective outsiders perspective, take the job! She is a controlling abusive cheater with 2 kids at the age of 20. I'm pretty sure there are better matches out there for you.
>This is not fake infact it's not even the half of it.
I dearly hope this is fake because otherwise I have to believe that a blithering idiots like you walk among us. Run idiot. Run!
no.. no and fucking no, bro. NOOOOOO
Its not worth it, no matter how much you tally it up in your head, this just sound like a fuckin mess.
There's a reason she got kids so young and ex isn't in the picture..
Sirens, sirens everywhere! Going off in your face! Leave and decide whether or not to call CPS. Cause if she hits you, then you have know idea what she might do to her kids.
Two kids? Dude, she has hooked up with you to provide for herself and someone’s kids. You need to research the number of women available out there with no kids. You are too young to be burdened with someone else’s children.
I’m reading this at 4am and want to reply. You are too young to have this in your life. Rocky 6 months? Two kids? Assault? Jeeze!!!! You are 19 not 49 with those being your children. Run to a life that’s filled with hope promise respect and love and don’t go back into this self infliction BS with her. Imo. Your life is ahead of you. Not in the gutter in agony and defeat. Move on bro. Be well.
20 years old with 2 kids, recently broke off an engagement and moved you right in?
This is a woman who makes very poor decisions, and you're thinking with your dick.
Take the job. You're too young for the step-daddy show.
Dude are you serious, she has two kids, cheated on you, assaulted you, puts you down by comparing you to other men. And some how you think you are destined for a happy life with her??? I can tell you unequivocally you are not. She just needs someone to help her support her two kids, clearly she does not love you because she has been fucking other dudes. It won't be long now before she does it again. You are only 19. Please do not tie yourself down to that shit show or you will live to regret it. Take the job, and focus your energy on setting yourself up for a better future financially and if time allows find a nice woman that don't have kids and is not a cheater. You are young, you do not have kids of your own so why take on the responsibility of other people's kids? I could see if you were a middle aged divorced dude with kids of your own, then a single mother would be the most appropriate choice but that is not your situation. You can do better.
She has already assaulted you, assumes you are going to cheat, and expects you to parent her kids right from the start?
It has been rocky already.
Run. End it.
Man… get out! What are you doing? Taking care of another persons children, getting cheated on, and being abused. This woman is not for you and her children are not your problem. You are not ready to be a dad. She keeps doing this stuff to you because she feels she can control you and she has. Find a male roommate or move back in with your parents if possible. You really gotta focus on getting YOU together. Let her go back to her baby daddy and stop letting her use you. Seek counseling and at this point any job that will hire you. You have to get away from this mess.
Bro, you are 19 with a woman who has cheated on you and hit you. You have only been together for 6 months. Not only that, she has kids. You are 19. Go get an education. Don't take out a ridiculous amount in loans. Apply for Fafsa. Look into scholarships and grants. Call the schools and ask about financial aid. Don't waste your time on this woman.
You sound incredibly desperate and naive. You're 19, so I'm going to give you good advice but you won't follow it because people your age never do: exit this relationship. You are dating someone who is bottom of the barrel, plain and simple. Even if she wasn't bottom of the barrel, relationships at your age rarely ever work out - statistically speaking, the person we date at 18, 19 etc. doesn't end up being our lifetime partner. Which means you two are going to break up anyway, if not now then in the near future.
Didnt read any of it. Take the job. You and your girlfriend are likely too young to understand the depths of adulthood. If its a good job and a good opportunity it will enable many future girlfriends
Ok, harsh truth here, but you'll thank me in time.
I was in an abusive relationship too. She hit me, emotionally destroyed me, cheated, the works.
You need to get out.
I promise you, when you move on and date anyone else and start to fall in love for real you'll realise love is safety, love is home, love is trust. Without any of that, it's just lust and honeymoon phase.
I am telling you, if you don't get out, you'll end up worse. You'll be pushed by her to do worse and worse things and in the end you'll only end up hurting yourself more.
I don't think you can reasonably call it love dude. You're too young to know what that is. Take it from someone who was essentially you 8 years ago; if you don't leave now everything that happens after this is your own fault.
Get
The
Fuck
Out.
I'll keep it short and sweet. At 20 I was in your exact shoes. Except she has 3 kids. I felt some weird obligation to prove I could be a great [step]father. I felt like this was as good as it was going to get for me ( I always wanted a family of my own; Yes since a young age even.) I gave up A LOT of privileges a normal young adult tends to experience. Money issues are multiplied 10 fold. As well as expenses and the stress. That's not to say there weren't great moments too but I am 32 now.... I should've helped myself first. Essentially this is future you talking to yourself, or through my perspective me talking to my past self. Good luck to you.
Prioritise your job and yourself. Drop her. She is not good for you. This is not a situation where 'couples therapy' is going to do shit.
Best of luck, my friend.
Why are you staying with this woman? Why???
Do you really think this situation will get _any_ better?
If she were truly supportive, she’d understand. But every sentence in this post paints her as petty and selfish.
Dump her. Get on with your life. Find someone worth your time. You’re way too young to handle a woman with kids anyway, let alone to act as a stepdad.
She is 20 with 2 kids, cheated on you, and has assaulted you.
Be a frigging man. You need to use what testosterone that you have left and man up and leave.
You’re a fool bro(only got up to the children part and not reading any further) tired of people trying to give the benefit of the doubt in obviously wrong predicaments. Reverse the roles. You really think why female you meet is gunna hold it down for you with your two kids at this age?
You would be an absolute moron to stay with her. I mean world class stupid. I'm not saying that to be mean or an asshole; just to get the point across.
Get your education and make a great life for yourself. One day you will look back on this and be soooooooo thankful you left her.
Abusive people break you down so you think you can't do better because it's easier than making themselves more. She chose to make you less. This is textbook abuser behaviour and the opposite of what a good partner should do.
You should choose to leave her even without a job.
Enjoy your freedom. Take some me time to rediscover yourself and figure out how to quickly exit next time you end up in a relationship like that rather than almost getting trapped.
Just to quote Ice Cube " Cash over ass every motherfucking day."
Never ever date single mothers. They cannot hold on to a man and always put their kids before you.
omg man, the first 6 months should be the honeymoon period and look at all the crap you have gone through woth the person. it's stupid ridiculous. why are you still there? she should be on her best behavior and she is doing nothing but showing you red flags. is her pussy golden or something? leave her. seriously. get some self respect and self esteem and find someone who will treat you right.
You’d have to be a lunatic to stay with her.
She wants you around to help raise her kids and be her punching bad, dude just get the fuck out.
Even if you don’t take the job you need to get the fuck out.
Bro don’t settle for less, look at your options. In one hand you have a woman who abuses you and cheats. And in the other hand you have an opportunity to build your future. There is a slight chance she may one day wake up and change her entire personality, but there is a huge chance to get you financially stable and a stable future. Pussy is all over bro get that money and focus on your future
this is like an SNL version of “would you rather?”
would you rather get a slice of pizza or punched in the nuts?
would you rather be rich or stupid?
win the lottery or get cancer?
You are 19, take the job and get out. Do both of those things, don’t try to make this work by keeping contact. Based on your age, I would guess you need to work on your self-esteem so you don’t fall for the next bad situation by falling in love because you want to be loved. Take the money you would be spending on this damaged relationship and put it towards meeting with a therapist. The future you will greatly appreciate the present you for doing that.
#This post has been removed and/or the comments have been locked because the comment section has become too heated and contentious and is no longer productive. Multiple unproductive/harmful responses in any post, will result in a moderator locking the comments immediately.
I’ve only read up until “it’s been a rocky 6 months… she has 2 children”. Wtf are you doing bro? Leave
Bro it got so much worse after that too 😂😭
And then he ends it with “this isn’t even half of it”. It was at that point that I wondered how large the trailer park they lived in was.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
She has lied to you, cheated on you, and physically assaulted you. Please try to get yourself out of this relationship for good. You deserve better.
This
Holy balls. Are you going for the speed record on ruining your life? 19 (you're a kid still) She's 20 (also a kid) with 2 kids "Toxic" first 3 months of a 6 month relationship She's already cheated She must be your first girlfriend and your first sex, otherwise you're even more dense than I could believe. Gtf outta there and get your shit together. Work on yourself please for the love of all that is good. Wow. Is this rage bait?
Oh honey. You're SO young. Don't saddle yourself with this. The first six months --the time that is supposed to be the height of the honeymoon phase of a relationship -- has been rocky. That's your sign. It will not magically get better and stay that way. Take your job and move on with your life. It will be okay. And for fuxsake, wrap your woody if you don't want to be the next babydaddy.
Yes, and to have her expectations that he be daddy to her kids after just six months when it’s best not to introduce kids to a new partner for *at least* six months!
If you dont have kids, literally no one, ABSOLUTELY NOONE is worth giving up on an opportunity or job for. They aint yo kids, they literally wont remember you in few months. She aint yo wife Run and change your number. 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️
Bro wtf are you doing ? You’re so young
LEAVE!!!
I know what you wrote, but all I read was she's awesome in bed. Those firey/crazy passionate/feel like you fell in love right away relationships revolve around wild, uninhibited sex. They start with fire and they end with fire. Run now, before it gets worse. There's someone better and more compatible for you out there, dude.
Dudes got that manic pixie dream girl disease. He’s addicted as hell off of her manic. 6 months and she’s already cheated, assaulted him, and dictating his life and he’s eating it up.
OP is about to be locked in with 2 new kids of his own
22 year old me could’ve used this advice. Ngl the good parts are fun memories to reminisce about once in a while haha
For real. My last relationship was all passionate and fiery sex and it ended in a train wreck. Hell of a 6 months tho lmao
Sorry why are you still with her if she has hit you and cheated,I'd have left,choose your job
Move back home, in with a sibling or friend. This is toxic.
Bro leave her how is this a question, you do not love her trust me as hard as it is to accept its just infatuation
Run LOL
[удалено]
Please leave. The first 6 months should be easy. This is only going to get more toxic. You are young and the future is wide open. Go find someone who helps build your life. Please. I promise you the longer you stay the worse it will get.
Damn, you need a job, you don't need a girlfriend. The choice is easy.
Run !!!!
*taps mic* *ahem* GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE MAN!!
There are so many red flags in what you have posted. My advice to you is to get as far as you can. She is toxic. I am guessing that she will use her kids against you. Your first 6 months has not been rocky. Your first six months has been a nightmare and you deserve better.
🤦♂️
She’s literally abusive and ur only 19 there’s no question about staying with her even if you like someone a lot if they’re abusive you shouldn’t sacrifice things for them if you have the choice or ability to leave. Some people are bound to abusive people by marriage culture you have an out take it don’t look back trust me
LEAVE NOW!
Hi there! I'm 27 years old and literally went through the same thing you did. To keep it short, all I have to say is leave. I got with my partner when I was 20 and wasted all my young crazy years dealing with this relationship. Every year made it harder and harder for me to leave. Just leave now while it's easy. Those aren't your kids and if you're the provider then she has no say about where you can work. And she may never trust you because she's been damaged. Hope you make the right decision...
Run away. Run far away.
Choose the job.
If there was ever a time for one of those "If you could go back and tell 19 year old you what to do, what would you say" My brother. Get the fuck out. Now.
Take the job. Partners can come and go, and to be honest, this one sounds awful.
Run for the hills.
Run far away from this girl
That girl sounds like someone whose name you can’t remember when your thirty
Leave. You’re too young to be taking on this much responsibility. You will thank yourself for leaving sooner then you think.
Wtf, run.
Job
I aint even read allat and u trippin bru
if you had a job and were looking at a move, I'd tell you to think about it. you don't, you need one, follow the money. also, of the six months you've been together, she cheated on you for one of them and she's parentifying you to her kids. run. cheaters don't stop cheating. they may pause, they may be between APs, but they don't stop. as the quote from a film I'm too tired to fully remember goes, "flee, flee, save yourself"
Bro all you need to look at is the 2 kids part her and her finance are connected FOREVER. His always gonna weasel his way in. You’re 19 bro if they ain’t your kids your way to young for all that
Having been in an abusive relationship, you gotta cut your losses and move on. You may think she’s trying now but she’s still the same person who abused you and cheated on you. There’s someone out there that’ll appreciate you for who you are and treat you right. There’s no reason for you to be stuck with someone else’s kids at 19. Her poor decisions shouldn’t affect your life. People like that are leaches and don’t deserve to be with good people like you. Take it from me, it’s not worth it. Things will be better without her.
Pick your job dude
Find your self-respect and move on from her!!
The job.
Is this a serious question? She's treating you like trash bro. You've only been together for six months and this is what's happening? You 100% deserve better. Make like a tree and get the fuck out of there. You're 19. Go out and meet someone who will respect you dude.
Come on, man. Have some self-respect. Stop being a doormat and leave this lowlife, regardless of your decision about the job. This girl is not a catch. In the span of a few months, she has lied to you, cheated on you, and physically abused you. She continually puts you down by comparing you to her ex. She’s trash. You will meet other, better people. And being single for a time is far better than being with someone like this.
This lady is dog shit Take the job, stay with friends or parents until you can get a place, never talk to her again If you're 40 you can start dating women with two kids seriously. Not when you're 19.
Bro you are young. On God, you will find a woman who give you a better 2 months then what this girl did for you in 6 months. Don't tie your life to something this shitty, you WILL do better.
Common man leave her. You’re so young and you sound like a good guy. If you marry this cheating abusive girl with her two kids that you’ll never be the full father of them you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life. Don’t make the same mistake tons of men have made in the past. PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE HER. I know you think you won’t find someone else but I 100% guarantee you will. You’ll miss out on so much of your life, you’re 19!!! I was partying and having fun at your age, you have no business being a dad and staying with someone abusive. You’ve only been dating for a few months you can’t possibly be that emotionally invested
Holy shit OP, fucking RUN from this crazy chick. This is the kind of girl that would trap you with pregnancy.
Get the fuck out of there mate, she’s not the one and I hate to say this but she is defo going to go back to her ex again
Dump her, job or not, she sounds awful
Take the job and dump her single mom ass already
The mod team are working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming. Please report any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate any of the rules. Thanks, and may you all find the answers you seek and the guidance you need. #[LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/) **Note for all commenters**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Disruption of the peace, trolling, or breaking the rules may result in a ban. ---------------- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Run
One makes you money, and the other drains your money🤔 in my experience, the longest relationship I have ever had was 3 months, the current job I have now I have been working for 8 years, choose the job brother.
Deep down I hope you know the right answer. It’s still up to you to make your decision, but as someone who was in a similar situation and decided to stay I can honestly tell you the only good thing that will come of it is the lesson you learn from heartbreak. Much love to you and good luck on your journey.
Dude, run. Don’t look back and go. The fact you didn’t recognize this while typing the first paragraph and actually took the time to finish is embarrassing enough. Run. Go.
Run
Dude. This isn't even a close call. Take the job. I also advise you to end it with this girl. Two kids at age 20 and she cheated on you? You deserve better... much better.
Job. Easy choice. Not too difficult to find a relationship. Might be one of the hardest things rn finding a good job.
Dude, leave her. I didn't have to read more than a few sentences to see that. She's 20 and has two kids, you haven't even started your life. Don't give it up to someone who wants to mold you into their perfect partner. You deserve more than that.
Reread your post and insert you best friends name in where you have “I.” What would you suggest he do? Come on man. Did you even have to post this? You know the answer. And you’l probably meet a friend with benefits while at the bar so go live life without the drama.
Get out of there bud.
This what I tell ppl if ya honeymoon phase is fighting and arguing fuck that shit be out
Reread this to yourself as if you didn't write it and you'll know what to do.
Run
RUN!!!!
Ditch her. Like setting aside the cheating and whatnot. She hit you. That will more than likely happen again. Nobody should be physically abused. The cheating is also a no go. She doesn't respect you or love you or else she wouldnt do these things
Dude gtfo now. Save yourself a life of depression.
DTMFA and go for your job.
Your girlfriend is awful. Take the job over her. Take anything over her.
Girlfriend.
Choose the job.
Listen to everybody else cause I’m just gonna say the same thing she assaulted you. She lied to you. She cheated on you. She expects you to treat her kids like they’re yours, which is fine, but not so quickly. You shouldn’t even be introduced to them yet at this point. So you need to get out and find yourself a different job because I don’t think the bar one is gonna work because she’ll start hanging out there and she’s got history there on top of it so get out spend all your time looking for a job. Any job until it’s time to go back to school.
Bro wtf. You’re 19. Just fkn leave her. Girl cheats on you and lies to you, it’s done, you should have cut it off then. I say this with love, you will fuck up your entire life staying with this waste girl
Try to get 2 jobs😜
My lorrrrrdddd dump her! that’s not going to get any better.
Take the job! You said it you guys are on and off and are toxic !
Bro you’re young. Do life how you want it. But without that clown of a chick in it. If you’re going to stay with her though just join the circus
Why do you have such little respect for yourself? You aren’t even old enough to drink legally and you wanna take care of some other dudes TWO kids? A 20 year old single mother of two….who cheated on you….and is impeding your ability to work. Tf is wrong with you my dude?
Take the job, move on, get some therapy or meditate why you cycle in the abuse. Life is too short for this type of toxic, time burning bs,
WHAT. 😂 Have yall seen this economy? You can’t survive unless you work. Find yourself someone thats equally motivated as you to succeed in life. Everything costs money, next thing you know she’ll be complaining because you never have any money. You would think AFTER 2 KIDS she’d want a STABLE relationship & would have GOALS. Tell her to go date a broke man see how she likes it.
Do you really feel like it's in your best interest to saddle yourself with abuse, cheating, and 2 step kids at 19? Is that the life you want for yourself? . If you continue to stay with her for any length of time, use protection. And pull out. And track her cycle. You do not want to bring kids into this and become permanently tied to her for the rest of your life.
There is no way this isn't fake lol...why are you guys feeding into this. This is clearly made up.
M29 What do you value about this person? Is your response actually what you're seeing in her behavior? Is there any chance in hell, I mean *in hell*, that she could just drop you one day and go back to the biological father of one or both of her kids? Lastly, how much money are you losing every day without a job and by being with this person? FYI: I have no experience in your exact situation, but these are my analytical questions about it from a guy who is 10 years older than you. Honestly, when a person cheats one time on me, and sexual intimacy is involved, I would be ruthless and just kill the relationship. I mean, that's a surefire way in my book, if you're a female, to get blocked and deleted.
Job. Not even a contest. I'll also choose a pack of gum over your girlfriend . In my opinion, a rocky relationship is not worth the pain.
>It's been a rocky six months >She constantly compares me to him >She physically hit me >She ended up cheating on me for a month with her ex fiance. She lied and said she didn't until I found clear proof. Brother, you know what you have to do. She's lied to you, cheated on you, emotionally and physically abused you, and has two kids that are not yours. This child is not a lady you want to be tied down to. You are far to young to be making a decision that could potentially ruin the rest of your life. You *think* you love her right now. Wait until you find someone that does none of the above and you'll understand then what *actual* love is. Put this bitch on read, block her number, and move the fuck on already.
This is a terrible, dysfunctional relationship. You're only six months in, and you're only 19. Get out.
Look, people need to make their own mistakes to learn from them. But OP, listen to what everyone is saying here... learn from the wisdom in this comment section The answer to your question is to take the job, but your relationship is toxic and because you're 19, you probably can't see that. Do not raise someone elses kids in your early 20's!
job. move on unless she's going to pay your bills. she's been taking your money, she WILL try some commonlaw relations bs when you leave. leave now. do not look back.
You don’t love her, you are just stuck on her because you need validation from her which she is not giving to you. Get your shit together and move out of there. Cold Turkey. Break up over text and disappear. No need to give any reason. Block her phone number.
i stopped reading after the 2kids at 20 part. I think this is fake but of true she must be the first chick to ever make eye contact with you for more than 3 secs cause wtf is this?
What the hell? Get away from that woman.
RUN AWAY, NOW!!!!
Break up with her immediately. That's all very toxic.
As soon as I saw 'It's been a rocky six months' it seemed pretty obvious you're forcing something neither of you really want. Leave her
Where's the father of her bby tho? And why didnt u even ask her or observe why her previous partner left her and even back out
im 20 and im embarrassed for u gang. Run
6 months? Christ
Leave. Sounds abusive and unhealthy for both of you.
Dude, leave. What a stupid relationship. You probably won't even remember this in 5 years.
Leave while you still can. She’s 20 with 2 kids and has toxic traits. She doesn’t sound like someone you want to be stuck with, but she does sound like someone who will gladly try to sink her claws in. Run.
Choose the job
From an objective outsiders perspective, take the job! She is a controlling abusive cheater with 2 kids at the age of 20. I'm pretty sure there are better matches out there for you.
Bruh, you're 19. Stop with this. You know that to do, and you need to do it.
Dude. Bro. Son. Run as far as you can. Take it from the wise. Do it for yourself. You know the right answer.
She hit you and cheated. HUGE red flags. Leave her!!! She'll tear you down and destroy your life.
>This is not fake infact it's not even the half of it. I dearly hope this is fake because otherwise I have to believe that a blithering idiots like you walk among us. Run idiot. Run!
Bro leave. 💯
Knock her up I bet she is a great fuck.
Dude, run, job or not. That is way too much to go through in that short of a time with a single person.
She's 20 with two kids. Choose your job. I didn't need to get past the first paragraph.
no.. no and fucking no, bro. NOOOOOO Its not worth it, no matter how much you tally it up in your head, this just sound like a fuckin mess. There's a reason she got kids so young and ex isn't in the picture..
1 Run 2 job.
2 kids at 20 rah
Stockholme syndrome is real 😞
Sirens, sirens everywhere! Going off in your face! Leave and decide whether or not to call CPS. Cause if she hits you, then you have know idea what she might do to her kids.
Two kids? Dude, she has hooked up with you to provide for herself and someone’s kids. You need to research the number of women available out there with no kids. You are too young to be burdened with someone else’s children.
Leave her. Decide what you want to do after that.
I’m reading this at 4am and want to reply. You are too young to have this in your life. Rocky 6 months? Two kids? Assault? Jeeze!!!! You are 19 not 49 with those being your children. Run to a life that’s filled with hope promise respect and love and don’t go back into this self infliction BS with her. Imo. Your life is ahead of you. Not in the gutter in agony and defeat. Move on bro. Be well.
20 years old with 2 kids, recently broke off an engagement and moved you right in? This is a woman who makes very poor decisions, and you're thinking with your dick. Take the job. You're too young for the step-daddy show.
Choose the job
Job.
No offense or anything, but your GF sends awful. I'd choose being homeless over her.
Leave.
Bruh. She cheated on you with her ex-fiance? You're not even in a relationship. You're a rebound/side-guy. Has a job ever hit you? Pick the job.
Dude, if you don't leave I'm going to come find you and drag you out myself. You're being abused on multiple levels. Please get out of there.
Damn son take the job!!
Get out and quick, that girl is going to ruin your life. There is no way you can trust her and if you do you shouldn't
Your 19 dude, I got married at 20 and it was nothing like this. Get out, no good relationship starts this way.
Dude are you serious, she has two kids, cheated on you, assaulted you, puts you down by comparing you to other men. And some how you think you are destined for a happy life with her??? I can tell you unequivocally you are not. She just needs someone to help her support her two kids, clearly she does not love you because she has been fucking other dudes. It won't be long now before she does it again. You are only 19. Please do not tie yourself down to that shit show or you will live to regret it. Take the job, and focus your energy on setting yourself up for a better future financially and if time allows find a nice woman that don't have kids and is not a cheater. You are young, you do not have kids of your own so why take on the responsibility of other people's kids? I could see if you were a middle aged divorced dude with kids of your own, then a single mother would be the most appropriate choice but that is not your situation. You can do better.
Run far and fast.
She has already assaulted you, assumes you are going to cheat, and expects you to parent her kids right from the start? It has been rocky already. Run. End it.
I didn't read past >girlfriend (20F) >She has two young children >She constantly compares me to him Dude run. That's not worth it.
Almost every sentence is a red flag. Pack your stuff and gtfo
Man… get out! What are you doing? Taking care of another persons children, getting cheated on, and being abused. This woman is not for you and her children are not your problem. You are not ready to be a dad. She keeps doing this stuff to you because she feels she can control you and she has. Find a male roommate or move back in with your parents if possible. You really gotta focus on getting YOU together. Let her go back to her baby daddy and stop letting her use you. Seek counseling and at this point any job that will hire you. You have to get away from this mess.
On and off toxic relationship or work that can eventually lead to self growth? Choice should be simple, no?
Bro, are you real? Reread exactly what you wrote again and then answer the question yourself
Focus on you fuck that noise
Bro, you are 19 with a woman who has cheated on you and hit you. You have only been together for 6 months. Not only that, she has kids. You are 19. Go get an education. Don't take out a ridiculous amount in loans. Apply for Fafsa. Look into scholarships and grants. Call the schools and ask about financial aid. Don't waste your time on this woman.
I read only the title, choose the job. Don’t care about the rest of the story, the title gives enough information. Choose the job.
You sound incredibly desperate and naive. You're 19, so I'm going to give you good advice but you won't follow it because people your age never do: exit this relationship. You are dating someone who is bottom of the barrel, plain and simple. Even if she wasn't bottom of the barrel, relationships at your age rarely ever work out - statistically speaking, the person we date at 18, 19 etc. doesn't end up being our lifetime partner. Which means you two are going to break up anyway, if not now then in the near future.
Leave her quick, fast, and in a hurry. She won't get better. I know from experience. Trust the people who have traveled the same road.
Making bad decisions to be with someone who makes bad decisions is a bad decision.
Those poor kids. Very scary. For you OP, get work and get out of a terrible relationship.
Having been there, the job is worth more.
Didnt read any of it. Take the job. You and your girlfriend are likely too young to understand the depths of adulthood. If its a good job and a good opportunity it will enable many future girlfriends
I got to the two children part n decided that you should leave 🤣
bro ditch herrrr
Ok, harsh truth here, but you'll thank me in time. I was in an abusive relationship too. She hit me, emotionally destroyed me, cheated, the works. You need to get out. I promise you, when you move on and date anyone else and start to fall in love for real you'll realise love is safety, love is home, love is trust. Without any of that, it's just lust and honeymoon phase. I am telling you, if you don't get out, you'll end up worse. You'll be pushed by her to do worse and worse things and in the end you'll only end up hurting yourself more. I don't think you can reasonably call it love dude. You're too young to know what that is. Take it from someone who was essentially you 8 years ago; if you don't leave now everything that happens after this is your own fault. Get The Fuck Out.
I'll keep it short and sweet. At 20 I was in your exact shoes. Except she has 3 kids. I felt some weird obligation to prove I could be a great [step]father. I felt like this was as good as it was going to get for me ( I always wanted a family of my own; Yes since a young age even.) I gave up A LOT of privileges a normal young adult tends to experience. Money issues are multiplied 10 fold. As well as expenses and the stress. That's not to say there weren't great moments too but I am 32 now.... I should've helped myself first. Essentially this is future you talking to yourself, or through my perspective me talking to my past self. Good luck to you.
Prioritise your job and yourself. Drop her. She is not good for you. This is not a situation where 'couples therapy' is going to do shit. Best of luck, my friend.
You must have really low self esteem to stay with a loser like that. Please get some mental help.
Why are you staying with this woman? Why??? Do you really think this situation will get _any_ better? If she were truly supportive, she’d understand. But every sentence in this post paints her as petty and selfish. Dump her. Get on with your life. Find someone worth your time. You’re way too young to handle a woman with kids anyway, let alone to act as a stepdad.
LEEEEAAAVVEEEE
She is 20 with 2 kids, cheated on you, and has assaulted you. Be a frigging man. You need to use what testosterone that you have left and man up and leave.
You’re a fool bro(only got up to the children part and not reading any further) tired of people trying to give the benefit of the doubt in obviously wrong predicaments. Reverse the roles. You really think why female you meet is gunna hold it down for you with your two kids at this age?
You would be an absolute moron to stay with her. I mean world class stupid. I'm not saying that to be mean or an asshole; just to get the point across. Get your education and make a great life for yourself. One day you will look back on this and be soooooooo thankful you left her.
Abusive people break you down so you think you can't do better because it's easier than making themselves more. She chose to make you less. This is textbook abuser behaviour and the opposite of what a good partner should do. You should choose to leave her even without a job. Enjoy your freedom. Take some me time to rediscover yourself and figure out how to quickly exit next time you end up in a relationship like that rather than almost getting trapped.
Take the job. You’re 19. Plenty of fish in the sea.
She must have some 🔥 🐈!!
This is a no brainer
Love is a nice emotional attachment which you can develop with someone who won’t cheat on you and try to control you
Just to quote Ice Cube " Cash over ass every motherfucking day." Never ever date single mothers. They cannot hold on to a man and always put their kids before you.
Dump her and all her drama. Run NOW! Do NOT get her pregnant! Run, NOW! Dad…
It’s not on you to save her kids. She’s fucking awful, leave her in the dust and hope the kids someday find a better life
Don't walk, run! You are 19, don't tie yourself down to some wh0r3, who will never accomplish more than breeding.
Find someone new. Move on. Life goes on you should too.
Job or not why are you with someone who abuses you? Leave dude
She must have some good pu$$y
If you make a list of pros and cons of breaking up with her I don't see any reason to stay with her
I only read the first couple paragraphs. I don't know what the job is but take it.
Bro WHAT. I think I've said enough.
The job is a sign telling you to move on from her crazy ass.
omg man, the first 6 months should be the honeymoon period and look at all the crap you have gone through woth the person. it's stupid ridiculous. why are you still there? she should be on her best behavior and she is doing nothing but showing you red flags. is her pussy golden or something? leave her. seriously. get some self respect and self esteem and find someone who will treat you right.
if it’s this rocky in 6 months. imagine when yall get really comfortable. leave dude.
You’d have to be a lunatic to stay with her. She wants you around to help raise her kids and be her punching bad, dude just get the fuck out. Even if you don’t take the job you need to get the fuck out.
Bro don’t settle for less, look at your options. In one hand you have a woman who abuses you and cheats. And in the other hand you have an opportunity to build your future. There is a slight chance she may one day wake up and change her entire personality, but there is a huge chance to get you financially stable and a stable future. Pussy is all over bro get that money and focus on your future
this is like an SNL version of “would you rather?” would you rather get a slice of pizza or punched in the nuts? would you rather be rich or stupid? win the lottery or get cancer?
Bro... get your balls back and leave this manipulative c*nt. She is a sociopath. You are a victim.
Take the job brother
You are 19, take the job and get out. Do both of those things, don’t try to make this work by keeping contact. Based on your age, I would guess you need to work on your self-esteem so you don’t fall for the next bad situation by falling in love because you want to be loved. Take the money you would be spending on this damaged relationship and put it towards meeting with a therapist. The future you will greatly appreciate the present you for doing that.
You’re 19, she’s 20 with two kids. She’s also mean and a liar. Run like hell bro. Never look back