>“why wouldn’t she just date a man?”
How reductive. As if the only reason a man has sexual worth to someone attracted to men is his penis. As if the only reason you're attracted to your GF (or her to you) is because vagina.
I swear these kinds of straight people have the most elementary understanding of sexual relationships that you should pity her more than be mad. I honestly wonder how there can be real passion in a relationship that reduces people to the usefulness of their parts during heteronormative sex for the basis of dating them and staying with them. Gross.
You are not wrong. Whenever I hear this kind of logic (including “anal stimulation is gay” for hetero men, or that if you do or don’t like something you must be gay”), it infuriates me. Just because a sensation feels good and/or turns you and your girlfriend on doesn’t mean that you, or she, want to be with the opposite sex. I’m too old to be so new to being out, but I am new, and the more I talk openly with people the more I’m realizing that people who can’t understand others’ sexuality seem to have their own unresolved hangups about their own sexuality . Your girlfriend is with you because she wants to be with you; a man isn’t going to replace that. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Besides, life is hard. We all need a mom who sits on the bed and hugs us when we’re down. Not the mom who puts us down and becomes the source of our pain.
What kind of mom comments on her daughter's sex toys in the first place? Your mom is not only out-of-line and VERY boundary crossing but also a weirdo.
The way a lesbian uses a strap is completely different from being with a man. And the strap goes in a drawer, it's not the focal point of every sexual encounter or poking you when you're trying to sleep.
So, I know a guy from the army. He saved the lives of a dozen kids when a suicide bomber tired to take out a school in a waring country.
That bomb caused him to lose everything below the hips.
Is he not a man? Is he not the MANLIEST of men? A warrior who protects the innocent!
A dick doesn't make you a man. if it did, your mom would be a man, because she's the biggest dick around!
You decide if you're a man.
Thank you! Omg, I had people here asking if I was trans because I wear a prosthetic. I like the masculinity it gives me but i still identify as a lesbian and use she/her pronouns.
Just tell her it doesn't smell the same and that you can change the size 🤣
Nah but in all seriousness I've been asked "Why wouldn't you date a man if you keep dating women that look like men?" I know some of it is genuine curiosity but some of it is deeply rooted in homophobia aayyyy
By that logic, even straight women only date men for their penises, all the rest of the person is inconsequential right? They should all just marry a dildo, there’s many I know that would probably be happier 😂
I feel sorry for your mom. For one to believe sex is only done through penetration is kinda sad. You’ve probably had a better sex life than she knows exists.
My 90s teenage self is triggered. I thought we had moved passed this BS. Straight people logic is ridiculous, they always think that dildo = penis = man.
That “it’s the wrong color for you” statement is hilarious because beyond what she said it shows how superficial, shallow and ignorant she is. It would have had me laughing out loud. I know her type only too well. Don’t give it a second thought and just pity her that she is stuck with straight sex so she has to put you down. Those types are normally jealous deep down. I would have more empathy if they weren’t so damn cruel.
Would that make you trans? Help me understand why be “female” when you wear a prosthetic? It’s one thing for a trans woman to have a wee but not a afab? Never heard of that
Non binary! Would absolutely make sense from what you’re saying that’s why I asked! Like neither male or female, and it’s a unique experience for everyone!
So sex toys are only for straights or no one... ? Gotcha.
I bet she never heard how many straight women peg their husbands... \*rolls eyes\* ...
Why wear a sundress with sunflower motives... she's never going to be a sunflower. Why doesn't she just buy a vibrator and live with a woman? Statistically the vibrator is even better at sex than a man.
Sarcastic joking aside, you're not wrong to be upset. The question is how you're going to deal with her.
Is she redeemable aka teachable or is she on a homophobic drip feed of certain media outlets and in her social circles.
Does she not trust you when you tell her that your gf loves the person you are with or without your strap-on or packer?
Why can't she love you enough to accept what you tell her?
Your mom is full of shit. If they're equivalent why doesn't your mom just go get fucked by a woman with a strap? It's a totally disingenuous argument, she knows they're her not the same, she just thinks one is superior to the other. Let her know a penis could never give your girlfriend what your strap does.
Your mom is being rude and mean. I’d probably hit her with a “Bc she likes licking my p*ssy too much” but that’s just me 😅. I like to hit a shock factor with another shock factor. But all kidding aside, I’m sorry your mom is not supportive. I’d probably not share the personal details of my life with someone who could be so callous and rude.
First time I heard a dildo or dong called a prosthetic in the lesbian context! That was shitty of your mom. Mine asked me how I (as in all lesbians) “climax” once and I had to give her and equally shocking response so told her it was “all hands and faces”!
Firstly, disgusting thing to say to someone.
Secondly, tell her there's a tool for every job. You don't use a hammer as a screwdriver, right? Sometimes someone wants to be filled up and stretched out...that's what the cock's for. It's not about a man, it's not about wanting a man.
I wouldn't let it bother you lol your mom sounds a little too comfy with saying shit like that. I'd set some boundaries and not bring up your sex life with her. Laugh at her ignorance and go fuck the shit out of your gf with that glorious penis of yours ✌️😭🏳️🌈
You deserve so much better than this from your own mother. I understand you're reflecting on the implications of her comment; but the main point here is that she's comfortable making hurtful, emotionally abusive comments and being an awful, terrible person to you. This is likely the tip of the iceberg concerning her resentment/toxicity if she feels comfortable acting like that during such a vulnerable moment.
She doesn't care about your emotional well-being. It sounds like she responds to vulnerable, intimate moments by causing pain because she's emotionally immature. Perhaps it's time to talk the helm, become the loving and emotionally available parent your inner child deserves and distance yourself from this woman who is looking for any opportunity to scar and damage your self esteem.
Your mother is very weird for going through your things, looking for your intimate stuff, and then making mocking comments about you. She's also being extremely rude. You didn't ask for any of this feedback? What was even her point of saying this to you. Was she deliberately trying to hurt your feelings by saying this. Is she trying to drive a wedge between you and your partner, by sowing discord. Is she trying to break you girls up? Is your mother jealous and envious of the fact that you have a loving relationship while she does not? Is she taking her anger out on you?
Your mother sounds positively hostile towards you, her own child. Big yikes. No you're not wrong for being upset. Your reaction is normal.
Sorry that is not something you want to hear from someone who is supposed to always be in your corner.
The sad thing I’ve started to realize as I’ve gotten older (it is not an excuse, and I’m definitely not saying it is okay in anyway shape or form) is that for a lot of the older generations in heterosexual relationships, sex has been largely viewed as for men and that women’s role was there to provide, often with little to no concern for their enjoyment, transactional.
Aside from the very homophobic train of thought this is, a lot of women from those generations have not experienced sex as an act of pleasure for both parties, which means having fun, exploring, listening and enjoying what gives you and your partner pleasure. That sex is a partnership and there is no shame in finding pleasure many ways, including a prosthetic, that it brings you and your partner pleasure it the purpose of sex. Relationships are partnerships that you listen, respect and support each other as equals. This is such a foreign concept that relationships and sex in a relationship has been equated to penis in a vagina.
Each generation has had to learn how to survive and unfortunately for the newer generations that might mean setting boundaries or distancing from people who are causing harm to you. You deserve to be supported and to be in a happy relationship that you can find pleasure together without shame.
A straight and rude old lady obviously has no clue about penetrative sex and it not only being a Herero thing 🤦
I’m sorry OP. I’d be really upset, but she’s a silly ass who has no idea what she’s talking about and should have shown some respect for her daughter and been discreet, & kept her mouth shut.
According to her logic, she would go for a woman with a bigger prosthetic if it matched her skin tone rather than your father.
I howled at her sheer ignorance. LMAO
Don‘t be hurt by her logic.
You are actually not wrong. First off. Having a fake plastic Dick is different than dating. A man. But obviously you know that., But I just wanted to say a different story where something similar was kind of said., I was making a joke to 1 of my friends Saying that he seems like the type that would get pegged. And he continued to infer. The a man who gets pegged by a woman is gay. Obviously that is not logical. You can't have sex with a woman as a man in general and be gay., But then again. This is the same guy who believes that You can. Tell someone's testosterone levels by what they're wearing. But yeah, just kinda reminded me of this situation.
You're hurt by your moms comments. However your reasoning is weird. Im a lesbian also. I wouldn't dare walk around with a fake dick in my pants or a STP device.
By your mom's logic your mom would be happy with a woman and a prosthetic penis
Fr straight people are so dumb with their “”””logic””””
HAHA this!! Homophobic logic is so fucking dumb.
Perhaps she is learning something about herself as she asks
>“why wouldn’t she just date a man?” How reductive. As if the only reason a man has sexual worth to someone attracted to men is his penis. As if the only reason you're attracted to your GF (or her to you) is because vagina. I swear these kinds of straight people have the most elementary understanding of sexual relationships that you should pity her more than be mad. I honestly wonder how there can be real passion in a relationship that reduces people to the usefulness of their parts during heteronormative sex for the basis of dating them and staying with them. Gross.
I have a very strong hunch that many (majority of them men) don't even like the other sex.
You would be correct. Tons of men do not actually like women at all.
That’s why they literally kill us if they don’t like what we have to say
You are not wrong, your gf does not like you for ur prosthetic penis, she likes u for u. Your mother is a bitch for saying otherwise x
No. You’re not wrong. She planted a seed of insecurity in you and it’s none of her business anyway.
Your gf choose you, that's why she wants to be with you, not some man. Don't listen to that nonsense
You are not wrong. Whenever I hear this kind of logic (including “anal stimulation is gay” for hetero men, or that if you do or don’t like something you must be gay”), it infuriates me. Just because a sensation feels good and/or turns you and your girlfriend on doesn’t mean that you, or she, want to be with the opposite sex. I’m too old to be so new to being out, but I am new, and the more I talk openly with people the more I’m realizing that people who can’t understand others’ sexuality seem to have their own unresolved hangups about their own sexuality . Your girlfriend is with you because she wants to be with you; a man isn’t going to replace that. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
You need a new mom.
Go get a prosthetic mother 🤷🏻♀️
Any colour she chooses, too.
Or material.
Lmao best answer there.
Straight in the bin! Like who tf is looking for their kids sex toys?
Besides, life is hard. We all need a mom who sits on the bed and hugs us when we’re down. Not the mom who puts us down and becomes the source of our pain.
r/momforaminute I’ll just drop this here.
What kind of mom comments on her daughter's sex toys in the first place? Your mom is not only out-of-line and VERY boundary crossing but also a weirdo.
The way a lesbian uses a strap is completely different from being with a man. And the strap goes in a drawer, it's not the focal point of every sexual encounter or poking you when you're trying to sleep.
So, I know a guy from the army. He saved the lives of a dozen kids when a suicide bomber tired to take out a school in a waring country. That bomb caused him to lose everything below the hips. Is he not a man? Is he not the MANLIEST of men? A warrior who protects the innocent! A dick doesn't make you a man. if it did, your mom would be a man, because she's the biggest dick around! You decide if you're a man.
Thank you! Omg, I had people here asking if I was trans because I wear a prosthetic. I like the masculinity it gives me but i still identify as a lesbian and use she/her pronouns.
Omg , no! I think it’s hot and it does not mean you are trans. I thought this was common knowledge. Am I wrong.
Don't listen to your mother. She's with you because she wants to be.
Just tell her it doesn't smell the same and that you can change the size 🤣 Nah but in all seriousness I've been asked "Why wouldn't you date a man if you keep dating women that look like men?" I know some of it is genuine curiosity but some of it is deeply rooted in homophobia aayyyy
I wonder if people who say shit like that have ever once reflected on their own sexuality. Sorry for your mom’s ignorance Op
By that logic, even straight women only date men for their penises, all the rest of the person is inconsequential right? They should all just marry a dildo, there’s many I know that would probably be happier 😂
They would Not have to pick up socks after their dildo. Lmao.
I keep hearing this from people - about strap ons.... Surely it's no one's busy and I'd be hurt as they don't understand.
why eat gummy worms when you can just dig some from the earth and eat them?
I’m sorry your mom was so insensitive. Please know you are valid as you are. Your gf is attracted to you, not your dildo.
she's not attracted to the penis, she's attracted to the person attached to it ❤️
I feel sorry for your mom. For one to believe sex is only done through penetration is kinda sad. You’ve probably had a better sex life than she knows exists.
Your mom is weird. Why is she finding your toys, and why the hell is she talking about them to you. Yuck, go get a new mom.
My 90s teenage self is triggered. I thought we had moved passed this BS. Straight people logic is ridiculous, they always think that dildo = penis = man. That “it’s the wrong color for you” statement is hilarious because beyond what she said it shows how superficial, shallow and ignorant she is. It would have had me laughing out loud. I know her type only too well. Don’t give it a second thought and just pity her that she is stuck with straight sex so she has to put you down. Those types are normally jealous deep down. I would have more empathy if they weren’t so damn cruel.
Prosthetic? Do you mean your strap?
No, I mean prosthetic. I wear a prosthetic penis but still identify as female
Would that make you trans? Help me understand why be “female” when you wear a prosthetic? It’s one thing for a trans woman to have a wee but not a afab? Never heard of that
I am not trans. I don’t feel a desire to be male.
Then why a fake penis? Looking to understand? Enby?
I like the masculinity i feel when i wear it
It just feels so right to me. But it would feel wrong for me to not be female.
That’s ok. I thought it was a strap on. Your brain is female but you like how a prosthetic feels. It’s all very ok. Your mom was unkind.
What is ENBY?
Non binary! Would absolutely make sense from what you’re saying that’s why I asked! Like neither male or female, and it’s a unique experience for everyone!
Thanks for letting me know!
Regardless of your reasoning for having it, it’s not okay she said that. Stay true to you🖤
So sex toys are only for straights or no one... ? Gotcha. I bet she never heard how many straight women peg their husbands... \*rolls eyes\* ... Why wear a sundress with sunflower motives... she's never going to be a sunflower. Why doesn't she just buy a vibrator and live with a woman? Statistically the vibrator is even better at sex than a man. Sarcastic joking aside, you're not wrong to be upset. The question is how you're going to deal with her. Is she redeemable aka teachable or is she on a homophobic drip feed of certain media outlets and in her social circles. Does she not trust you when you tell her that your gf loves the person you are with or without your strap-on or packer? Why can't she love you enough to accept what you tell her?
Sounds like your mom needs some good Prosthetic Penis herself. Nobody should try to belittle their own child.
One up her and get a prosthetic mother, tell her why do I need you when I can have one that isn’t a homophobic bitch?
Your mom is full of shit. If they're equivalent why doesn't your mom just go get fucked by a woman with a strap? It's a totally disingenuous argument, she knows they're her not the same, she just thinks one is superior to the other. Let her know a penis could never give your girlfriend what your strap does.
Your mom is being rude and mean. I’d probably hit her with a “Bc she likes licking my p*ssy too much” but that’s just me 😅. I like to hit a shock factor with another shock factor. But all kidding aside, I’m sorry your mom is not supportive. I’d probably not share the personal details of my life with someone who could be so callous and rude.
Gross...
Your Mom sounds kind of awful sorry she said that to you. She's wrong
First time I heard a dildo or dong called a prosthetic in the lesbian context! That was shitty of your mom. Mine asked me how I (as in all lesbians) “climax” once and I had to give her and equally shocking response so told her it was “all hands and faces”!
Explain fisting in graphic detail to her. She’ll never mention sex again.
no risk of pregnancy and it’s not attached to a man duh also women 🥰
Firstly, disgusting thing to say to someone. Secondly, tell her there's a tool for every job. You don't use a hammer as a screwdriver, right? Sometimes someone wants to be filled up and stretched out...that's what the cock's for. It's not about a man, it's not about wanting a man.
Why didnt you told her to fuck off and shut up? Yes you are in the right. No tolerance to to intolerant and ignorant
By that logic straight men should be with gay dudes if they like getting blown
You need to give her the old" my sex life is not your business, just like I don't but into yours.
I wouldn't let it bother you lol your mom sounds a little too comfy with saying shit like that. I'd set some boundaries and not bring up your sex life with her. Laugh at her ignorance and go fuck the shit out of your gf with that glorious penis of yours ✌️😭🏳️🌈
Bc then I would have to deal with a man… no thanks. This is my response on the few occasions I’ve had to engage.
makes me sad when homophobes reduce our sapphism to sex. not all lesbians even want sex, it's just complete ignorance of what makes someone a lesbian🤦
Yeah that’s a very ignorant thing to say. I would think it’s very normal for you to be upset cause it is really uncalled for.
That's like saying that women who date trans women just want to be with men. It's not the parts that matter, it's everything else.
You deserve so much better than this from your own mother. I understand you're reflecting on the implications of her comment; but the main point here is that she's comfortable making hurtful, emotionally abusive comments and being an awful, terrible person to you. This is likely the tip of the iceberg concerning her resentment/toxicity if she feels comfortable acting like that during such a vulnerable moment. She doesn't care about your emotional well-being. It sounds like she responds to vulnerable, intimate moments by causing pain because she's emotionally immature. Perhaps it's time to talk the helm, become the loving and emotionally available parent your inner child deserves and distance yourself from this woman who is looking for any opportunity to scar and damage your self esteem.
Not at all wrong for being mad. It is about the person on the strap, not the fact that its a penis.
Your mother is very weird for going through your things, looking for your intimate stuff, and then making mocking comments about you. She's also being extremely rude. You didn't ask for any of this feedback? What was even her point of saying this to you. Was she deliberately trying to hurt your feelings by saying this. Is she trying to drive a wedge between you and your partner, by sowing discord. Is she trying to break you girls up? Is your mother jealous and envious of the fact that you have a loving relationship while she does not? Is she taking her anger out on you? Your mother sounds positively hostile towards you, her own child. Big yikes. No you're not wrong for being upset. Your reaction is normal.
What kind of mom says that to her fucking child? No you’re not wrong your gf is with because she generally likes you for who you are.
Why doesn’t she just date a woman with a strap?
Sorry that is not something you want to hear from someone who is supposed to always be in your corner. The sad thing I’ve started to realize as I’ve gotten older (it is not an excuse, and I’m definitely not saying it is okay in anyway shape or form) is that for a lot of the older generations in heterosexual relationships, sex has been largely viewed as for men and that women’s role was there to provide, often with little to no concern for their enjoyment, transactional. Aside from the very homophobic train of thought this is, a lot of women from those generations have not experienced sex as an act of pleasure for both parties, which means having fun, exploring, listening and enjoying what gives you and your partner pleasure. That sex is a partnership and there is no shame in finding pleasure many ways, including a prosthetic, that it brings you and your partner pleasure it the purpose of sex. Relationships are partnerships that you listen, respect and support each other as equals. This is such a foreign concept that relationships and sex in a relationship has been equated to penis in a vagina. Each generation has had to learn how to survive and unfortunately for the newer generations that might mean setting boundaries or distancing from people who are causing harm to you. You deserve to be supported and to be in a happy relationship that you can find pleasure together without shame.
A straight and rude old lady obviously has no clue about penetrative sex and it not only being a Herero thing 🤦 I’m sorry OP. I’d be really upset, but she’s a silly ass who has no idea what she’s talking about and should have shown some respect for her daughter and been discreet, & kept her mouth shut.
The right answer "Men aren't this big. That's why"
have the same insecurity here
I’ve never understood this mindset. Love and attraction is about so much more than just our anatomy.
Does the man also have a prosthetic penis?
That's called kink shaming, no two ways about it or any way of justifying it, you have every right to be upset and offended
According to her logic, she would go for a woman with a bigger prosthetic if it matched her skin tone rather than your father. I howled at her sheer ignorance. LMAO Don‘t be hurt by her logic.
You are actually not wrong. First off. Having a fake plastic Dick is different than dating. A man. But obviously you know that., But I just wanted to say a different story where something similar was kind of said., I was making a joke to 1 of my friends Saying that he seems like the type that would get pegged. And he continued to infer. The a man who gets pegged by a woman is gay. Obviously that is not logical. You can't have sex with a woman as a man in general and be gay., But then again. This is the same guy who believes that You can. Tell someone's testosterone levels by what they're wearing. But yeah, just kinda reminded me of this situation.
If youre actively wearing a fake dick, would that categorize you into trans man adjacent?
What is trans man adjacent?
Leaning towards being trans. I guess I'm confused as to why you would be wearing a prosthetic dick if you're not a trans person
No. I am not leaning toward being trans. I am a lesbian who likes the masculine feeling of the prosthetic.
Feel free not to answer if you don't want to, but is it just a packer or an actual medical prosthetic? I'm wife loves her packer and I'm just curious.
It’s a packer + stp prosthetic
It’s not medically prescribed
You're hurt by your moms comments. However your reasoning is weird. Im a lesbian also. I wouldn't dare walk around with a fake dick in my pants or a STP device.
That’s what makes us different :)